Tuesday, September 2, 2008

From Hankies to Hanky-Panky: Porn and Product Placement

In response to last Friday's post, someone by the name of "Reverend Dick" had this to say:

Snob-
Why are you advertising an $85 scarf? Product placement takes away from your credibility.


First of all, I resent the implication that I have any credibility. You're just as likely to find credibility on this blog as you are a delicious recipe for cream of mushroom soup. You will, however, find whining, complaining, and criticism. You'll also occasionally find pornography involving bikes:


As usual, I've clothed the model in the interest of propriety, but if for some unimaginable reason you want to look at the original photo (as well as photos of her friends) you are more than welcome to do so. It can be found in this emphatically not-safe-for-work link, which, again, is not safe for work (unless of course you're a pornographer or a gynecologist), and which can be viewed by clicking on the subtly-placed hyperlink after the end of this sentence. (porn)

Or, if you're the artsy (that is to say pretentious) type and you prefer pontification to Fofonov, I'm pleased to present this sepia-toned interpretation of my censored version for your delectation:


Whichever version you prefer, though, I think I speak for all of us when I say it's good to finally see some mountain bike-related porn.

At any rate, with regard to Reverend Dick's mini-sermon, in addition to my lack of credibility I'd also like to say that, while I did post a photograph of myself wearing a scarf that was given to me free of charge, I do not consider that product placement. It's more faux product placement--a parody of a product placement. Had I deftly woven the scarf into last Thursday's story about getting a ticket in exchange for cash ("As I waited for the officer to emerge from the cruiser, I dabbed my perspiring forehead with my Ralpha silk cravat (only $85), and its soft touch removed both the sweat and my cares"), that would be product placement. Real product placement attempts to appear genuine and unintentional.

Of course, that's just my opinion, and sometimes it can be hard to tell product placement from reality. It can also be hard to tell when product placement is intentional or accidental. Here is a good example, forwarded by a reader:



Is this product placement? Is the Great Trek Bicycle Making Company attempting to market itself as the laterally stiff yet vertically compliant truncheon of the law? Is this a subtle ploy to entice customers who fantasize about beating hippies with their bicycles? (If we're to be completely honest here this is a fantasy many of us have had at one time or another.) Even though Trek cannot control the news, they must have known when they supplied bicycles to a police department that at some point one of them would brandish his bicycle at a hippie, right? More importantly, is bicycle-inflicted police brutality even more horrific when the bicycle has riser bars with barends on it? And would it be any less horrific if the hippie were wearing a Rapha silk cravat? These are indeed difficult questions to answer. (Hint: the answers are maybe, no, no, probably, yes, and no.)

Similarly, what are we to make of this?

I posted a picture of this bicycle awhile back (more than once, actually). However, a reader recently forwarded me an interview with the designer, who has this to say:

It's not a bike for everybody. It's polarizing, I realize that. It also addresses those who have strong opinions. As far as the position goes, it's a lot more comfortable than first impressions. You have to ride it to understand it. Haters'll hate but it's a slick ride.

I'm a hater in general and I hate this bike in particular, yet here I am posting about it for like the third time. So have I unwittingly provided the Great Trek Bicycle Making Company with free product placement? Does it even matter to Trek whether I love or hate the bicycle, as long as a few more people see it? Should I go ahead and send them an invoice? And perhaps most vexing, does simply having a soul patch and flip-flops qualify one to make stylistic decisions of this magnitude?

Well, I don't know, but I do know Trek must be doing something right, because on the very same blog I saw this:


On top of all that, we brought out a straight razor shave for some man-pampering and told anybody that wanted to get tattoo'ed, we'd foot the bill. One condition, your tat must be a Trek logo or the logo of a family brand (Gary Fisher, 1 World 2 Wheels, Bontrager).

Think nobody would want to sport a Trek logo on their body for the rest of their natural life? Think again, Doubty-McHater. We couldn't ink the peeps fast enough. There's nothing worse than telling somebody that they can't get a tat of your company's logo because there just isn't enough time. Left to me, we'd still be applying ink to epidermis in the parking lot but hey, you gotta draw the line somewhere. Give people a reason to come back.

Now that's just scary. Granted, I have my own Trek-related tattoos, but they're only of former Trek family brands. (I have Greg LeMond's face tattooed on one bicep, and the admonishing countenance of paired-spoke pioneer Rolf Dietrich on the other.) Moreover, I paid for them myself, because I'm accountable to nobody. (Except to Greg LeMond, who insisted that my tattoo be of his "good side" before he agreed to sit and pose.) But to have a company's logo tattooed on you just because they paid for it is something else entirely. It's hard to tell if the person in the above photo has any other tattoos, but if so I'm guessing that this may have been one of them:

(submitted by a reader)

Of course, since it's not Trek-related, he would have had to foot the bill himself.

In the end, though, it's all about perception, and one man's product placement is another man's slander. It's all a question of how you manipulate that perception. Even the Vuelta is getting in the act:

Two days before the start of the Vuelta a España, Race Director Víctor Cordero gave his expectations. "This year the Vuelta will be the Tour. It will have the best participation of all three Grand Tours," he said to El Mundo Deportivo.

That's right, the Vuelta is now the Tour. That must mean the Tour is the Giro, the Giro is the Vuelta, and the Bayern-Rundfahrt is just an office park crit in northern New Jersey. And while Tour Giro winner Carlos Sastre might argue this fact, I'm sure Trek and the Astana boys are more than happy to accept it.

But when it comes to marketing, Trek and the Vuelta are a bunch of amateurs compared to pants magnate Michael Ball. He knows a marketing ploy when he sees one. Not only that, but awhile back I noticed he left a comment on my blog, and apparently I'm not just guilty of product placement:

Anonymous said...
Your closely guarded identity, and the resulting mystique, is your biggest draw. If you're ever discovered RTMS it's all over. OVER!

-Michael Ball, CEO and Creative Director of Rock & Republic


Sure, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking it's not really him, and that anybody can leave a comment as Michael Ball. Well, despite the lack of spelling errors I maintain that it is in fact Michael Ball, if only because Michael Ball leaving a comment on my blog is a dream come true. Also, the comment has that creepy super-villain tone. So please, just let me have that.

Speaking of Michael Ball, Rock Racing now has the reigning US Pro Champion. That's right, former professional cyclist Tyler Hamilton has won the somewhat coveted Stars and Stripes jersey. This came as quite a blow to George Hincapie, who had this to say:

"No one would work with me," a disappointed Hincapie said after the race. He said he had the best legs he'd ever had at a Greenville championships. He said he would have preferred another trip over Paris Mountain. "Then we would have had five guys at the end, instead of 25," he said.

Cadel Evans may be the John Coltrane of Excuses, but Hincapie can more than hold his own. By combining two classic yet seemingly incompatible excuses (the "nobody would work with me" excuse and the "race wasn't hard enough" excuse) Hincapie is showing that he is a formidable excuse-maker in his own right. Sure, he's no Coltrane, but his irreverent improvisation at least puts him up there with Ornette Coleman.

146 comments:

Anonymous said...

win?

mj said...

podium?
woohoo!

erick said...

Show!

Anonymous said...

Frist!

Anonymous said...

i still hate myself

Anonymous said...

6

Daniel said...

sixth? me likes.

Anonymous said...

Reverend Dick is the offshoot of legendary 90s grunge band Citizen Dick, known for its hit "Touch me, I'm Dick" which - as the lead singer noted - was a complex musical construction that opened itself up to a variety of interpretations.

mendacity said...

top 10

Anonymous said...

STFU ALL OF YOU.

Anonymous said...

Top Ten...............................................................................................Oh crap

rmckittr said...

Ragging on a fancy snot rag does not constitute product placement. Though RTMS inadvertently raised awareness of this product. On the other hand your post about the rag happened to post on the same day that the rag "dropped."
Can we expect a BSNYC/Rapha collabo in the near future?

Wipeout said...

Eleventh!

ant1st said...

First!

Mark said...

Snobby, I am surprised the grammar police didn't catch this one sooner, so as a former law enforcement member let me just let you off with a warning:

"Of course, that's just my opinion, and sometimes it can hard to tell product placement from reality"

I think you need a "be" in this sentence ... it can be hard ...

Carry on!

ant1st said...

I'm sure some of you have heard this before, but anyways...

What's the hardest part of racing a triathlon?

Gerchof Sirdribeldik said...

Is nice to see septated women with large American breasts. I now will go and John Smith, if you are knowing what I am drifting.

Anonymous said...

should we be happy for tyler?

ant1st said...

answer:

telling your dad you're gay.

Priceless

Andrew said...

Cream of Mushroom Soup Recipe
Ingredients
1 pound regular white mushrooms, cleaned, quartered or sliced
1 Tbsp lemon juice
1 Tbsp unsalted butter
2 Tbsp minced shallots
1 Tbsp chopped fresh thyme or 1 teaspoon dried thyme
1/2 bay leaf
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon fresh ground pepper
2 cups heavy cream
1 1/2 cups chicken stock
1 teaspoon cornstarch dissolved in 1 Tbsp water
Minced parsley for garnish

Method
1 In a food processor, coarsely chop mushrooms and lemon juice.

2 Melt butter in (4-5 quart) sauce pan and lightly sauté shallots on medium heat. Add mushrooms, thyme and bay leaf, sauté over moderate heat for 10-15 minutes, or until the liquid that is released from the mushrooms disappears.

3 Add salt, pepper, cream and chicken stock and bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 20 minutes.

4 Add cornstarch and simmer for 10 minutes, stirring constantly. Correct seasoning and add more lemon juice to taste.

Serves 4. Serve sprinkled with a little parsley.

Commiecanuk said...

So much to comment on, but I just need to say, the only thing better than bikes is naked chicks on bikes. Oh Frilly, tell us you're in that collage of smut.

As for George Hincrashie, excuses reign with him, as he was likely coached by the same Discovery spin doctor as Canadian Micheal Barry, the Cosmo Kramer of pro bike racers who somehow manages to hold down a job in the peloton despite rarely finishing a race without cartwheeling down a mountain, ...perhaps the Evil Knievel of pro cycling.

If there was a shark to jump, George would be the hor d'oeuvres and Mikey the main course.

texas_hjooligan said...

Damn it! Stopped to look at the porn....

erik k said...

Product Placement with a Vengeance

A highly detailed fashion lickin' said...

Michael Leighton: "As it should be! It's strictly a fashion bike for the city. I don't have any allusions of people riding this in their local charity ride or anything like that. We wanted an over the top bike with a pursuit-style geometry. We threw on some some deep dish wheels and hardcase tires to give the bike a little robustness. Japanese track petals are another detail. It's all about the details. It's somebody's 3rd bike. Something for Saturday night."

pursuit style geometry? something for saturday night?

Hmmm... mk... how bout this? I fashion that I'll pursue your fucking douchebag dumb ass come saturday and beat u down with this pos.. coz I fer sure don't have any allusions about riding this in a charity ride or riding it period...just beating your ass with it....coz when it comes to ass and whuppin...it's all about the details u fucking douche.

liz said...

So have I unwittingly provided the Great Trek Bicycle Making Company with free product placement? Does it even matter to Trek whether I love or hate the bicycle, as long as a few more people see it? Should I go ahead and send them an invoice? And perhaps most vexing, does simply having a soul patch and flip-flops qualify one to make stylistic decisions of this magnitude?

yes. no. yes. f*ck no.

my hatred for flip-flops and the soul patch (flavor saver, Homo Nutduster, etc) knows no bounds.

C.P. said...

"We threw on some some deep dish wheels and hardcase tires to give the bike a little robustness."

I think he could have more easily achieved this with a busty babe.

Anonymous said...

I'm all for naked chicks on bikes, but wouldn't a pantyliner be appropriate to protect the saddle? Or is that the real secret to breaking in a Brooks saddle. I don't know; I'll have to check Sheldon Brown's website.

JPB said...

I find it hard to believe that anybody could actually think that the Snob would intentionally plug a hipster fashion accessory or that Snob has any credibility. I was, however, absolutely certain that somebody would post a recipe for Cream of Mushroom Soup.

Liz - thanks for Homo Nutduster, that is a new one for me. Does your hate apply to solely to the flip-flop/soul patch combo or both independently? Personally, I think it was cool for Frank Zappa but not for many other people.

ant1st said...

Commie - George's performance was a little sad this weekend. He had all sorts of fans all over the climb, his name was written on the road every 10 feet (I suspect he did that himself), and the whole town was cheering for him, but still managed to fail. His "nobody would help me out" comment reminds me of Ricco. What kind of douchebag expects competitors to help?

On the other end of the spectrum, I saw at least 5 guys riding up the mountain behind the broom wagon. True competitors in my book.

ant1st said...

And speaking of the broom wagon, the girl driving it was way hot.

We believe in bikes said...

A simple solution made complex. Will we ever learn?

leroy said...

BSNYC -- You observe:

"You're just as likely to find credibility on this blog as you are a delicious recipe for cream of mushroom soup."

Herewith a Brooklyn Recipe for credibility and mushroom soup:

Pick up the phone, dial Theresa's on Montague Street, order the Mushroom Barley soup with challah on the side.

Or stop by on the way to the Promenade.

Y'all's tastebuds are gonna thank me.

The blintzes aren't bad either.

Critical Ass said...

A Trek tattoo? Just some poseur showing his fleeting dedication to his new vintage steel frame by receiving some minor body art. Myself....I have had four Zertz inserts implanted into my forehead to show my dedication to my ride.

chiggins said...

The look on her face says: "Somethin' smells bad."

wishiwasmerckx said...

Snob, while out on my training ride yesterday, I passed a stranger on a Serotta, so I decided to the test your theory that only dentists ride Serottas. As I passed, I said "Hi, Doc." Sure enough, he said "Hi" back, trying to figure out where he knew me from, but making no effort to correct me over my salutation. While my sample size is admittedly a little on the small side, I can confirm that 100% of Serotta riders are, in fact, health care professionals.

chiggins said...

And perhaps most vexing, does simply having a soul patch and flip-flops qualify one to make stylistic decisions of this magnitude?

We have no patches.
We don't need no patches.
We don't need no stinking patches!

sprider said...

chiggins, the correct quote would be, "we don't need to show you no stinkin' patches".

Commiecanuk said...

wishiwasmerckx said...
I can confirm that 100% of Serotta riders are, in fact, health care professionals.


This explains the $13,400 bill for the hangnail. But hey, the MRI was painless.

gator joe said...

Having been raised on clam froth in my youth I find it most encouraging that many women are going back to the bearded clam look of yesteryear. The ubiquitous baby peachfuzz look was becoming passe´.

areUpake? said...

Again snobby posts about The Great Trek Bicycle Making company, and this at the same time talking about product placement. This only confirms my previous accusations that Snobby is in fact a Great Trek Bicycle Making Company employee and this is a hidden attempt at recreating the bummer life. Snobby you have been had.

bikesgonewild said...

...jeez, erik k...i justa bout knocked my pot a' cream o' mushroom soup off the stove...

...& if youz guys are gonna use good grammatically bad language, then it's "we don't got ta schow you no steenkin' padges"...

...just sayin'...

Commiecanuk said...

Flip-flops...oh, I hates 'em. Nothing quite says, "Ahm going back to tha trailer fer another mullet-cut" like flip-flops. WTF. Why not the "office bikini"?

The soul patch is the reason why I'm not gay.




That, and this awesome porn.

Anonymous said...

I think Hincapie just wants to call attention to his "long bronze legs."

Cause apparently Phil Liggett isn't talking about them enough.

Anonymous said...

seriously... as the economy tanks further and people have less disposable income (err...on their credit cards) the bike fashion trend as well as interest will die down. anyone remember the horrible Vision streetwear fashion trend at the end of the 80s. it also coincided with a bust.
give it 6 more months...

Anonymous said...

"deep dish wheels"

What, a Chicage fixter?

ant1st said...

I'm still the proud owner of a vision street wear bandana, although I don't wear it. It sucks when a current bullshit fashion trend prevents one from giving props to a retro bullshit fashion trend.

Commiecanuk said...

anon 2:44pm,

Dude, Obama will fix everything. Sure, he has no real ideas, no experience at doing anything, and he's inheriting eight years worth of mess, but he is young and kinda black. According to recent polls , he would lead to a majority rule in Canada if he led either party, which shows that the Canadian electorate watches a lot of TV.

Againbite of Inwit said...

BSNYC/RTMS,

Don't forget that your rise into bicycle stardom will continue to get you invited to bike-related events where you will actually meet the Cadels, Georges, and Michaels of cycling. When they learn who you are, they will remember what you said about them and you will end up like that guy at the Tour of Utah.

There are some cycling stars you don't touch though. You never once made a direct attack on LA despite plenty of opportunities at the opening of Mellow Johnny's. Instead, you butter him up with gifts. Are you hoping he'll write the forward to your book when VeloPress comes through on a deal?

Also, enough with these softball posts! Explain the irony of how you have become the arbiter of taste for that urban cycling culture you deride.

Self-appointed expert on the subject said...

Dear George,

There's no rule in cycling that says you have to work...

Love and Kisses, the Peleton

Self-appointed expert on the subject said...

ooops...peloton

wishiwasmerckx said...

Commiecanuck, because you are Canadian, you probably wouldn't realize this, but "kinda black" is considered racist. The politically correct term is "black adjacent."

bikesgonewild said...

...rapha & the bsnyc/rtms...what a beautiful dichotomy...ya gotta laugh & ya let it go...it's just 'that' good...

...& commiecanuk..."The soul patch is the reason why I'm not gay.




That, and this awesome porn."
...that first statement, w/ the long pregnant pause leaves one to wonder just what particular "action" it was that turned you away from the 'other' side (obligatory 'not that there's anything wrong w/ that')...

...but i guess you pulled it off (whoops, sorry !!!) w/ "and this awesome porn"...i mean, naked chicks on bikes may not be politically correct but, like you, i'm good w/ that...

BikeSnobNYC said...

Againbite of Inwit,

I thought I already explained about the credibility.

--RTMS

Dr Beat said...

49th!

anon 2:11 said...

Product placement is mentioning it at all and I'm sure most of us realize that. Much like the Mountain Dew machine that comes alive in Transformers, it is subtle, but it was paid for. I assure you that an aging celebrity would rather be in the tabloids then off the radar altogether and while you may rile their product I'm pretty sure it isn't at the bottom of any of your trashcans. You don't need credibility, just an audience, as Transformers has so aptly proven.

So, poke fun, but I would wager that at least one person with the money to burn saw that scarf for the first time at your blog and purchased it.

So, as far as the company is concerned, they succeeded. You are their shill and that's fine. You don't want credibility? This is the best way to go about it. I'm sure that deflecting with jokes will cause many of your fans to maintain your iconic status in their eyes but, to the marketing people at these companies, you are for sale.

Cheap.

As for the tattoo thing, well, it's sort of a wash. At least those receiving that gift won't claim to be somehow above the implication that they wouldn't have done it on their own dime. You are a temporary version of them. I suppose if they got a tattoo that reads, "TREK SUCKS" that would make the comparison more direct. But in that case, TREK still wins.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:11,

There was product placement in Transformers?!?

--RTMS

anon 2:11 said...

Clearly an impulsive response...

Anonymous said...

Anon 3:28
but don't we all win with a hearty laugh and a momentary feeling of superiority? So what if Rapha made a couple of bucks off some sorry sap who thinks BSNYC is credible?

O ' Bama said...

mucho Gustav

Anonymous said...

this is "NOBR AKES" bike here: http://www.coolhunting.com/archives/2008/08/geekhouse_bikes.php

Anonymous said...

I like to think that Hincapie's choice of wheels at the Roubaix was the first step in his becoming one of the more dominating forces in the world of cycling excuses. Realizing once and for all that the probability of him winning without actually putting a good effort in, Hincapie knew that his ticket to cycling fame was to have his name posted by his spectacularly absurd yet intriguing excuses posted, rather than the next to the number "1".

anon 2:11 said...

Yeah, I guess that's the trade.

Howard Stern got rich off of people like that.

And I like Howard, but he owes his success to his detractors as well as his supporters.

Using phrases like "shill" and "cheap" get a reaction but I want to be clear that it's not what he does that bother's me, but the notion that he isn't doing what he is doing. That he isn't working "for the man". That he isn't part of some marketing plan manipulated by a small piece of cloth.

The only way he can stick his thumb in their face is to burn the scarf and never mention it to anyone. But he is vain, so he can't. He needs material and it must come from somewhere. If it's a slow week of other people sending him stuff to write, there are no pistas on CL, and he hasn't been spat on then what's a little hypocrisy.

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:11
I agree. The worst marketing is the kind that tries to manipulate your consumption without you knowing. But like in the heavy handed politics of an election year, we all know what is going on the whole time. Like you said, the only way to escape it is not to talk about it, and then what would we do for entertainment? Ride bikes?

keith said...

Anon 2:11

Snob's material didn't come from somewhere, it came from 100% raw silk

Anonymous said...

how could you?

How could you put those droopy Boobs man?

Cmon!

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:11, you saw Transformers? What are you, like 12? I tell you what bother's me...you bother's me. Go bother's another website.

ant1st said...

Anon 2:11 -

So the only way to not commit the unexcusable sin of product placement, and therefore not sell out to the man/be a cog in the marketing machine, is to never mention products?

Using that logic, everyone is a product placer/sell out/cog. And since I've never heard anyone say that they are, they must have the notion that they aren't doing it.

That sure makes us all look like a bunch of manipulated idiots. Unless you understand the difference between product placement and a plug, that is. In which case your comments are incorrect and useless.

Nice try though.

ant1st said...

And why the fuck are you still reading this blog? Don't you have anything else you can do for entertainment, like ride a bike?

bikesgonewild said...

...oh my, anon 2:11...you are such a fucking intellectual...my god, man...how thrilling that you could join us...ho hum, again...

...oh, wait...you saw "transformers" ???...hmmm, we'd better add "quasi-" or "not so much, an..." to that 'intellectual' thingy...

...& despite your best attempts to suck all the life out of any party you encounter, you only exceed in exposing yerself...

...you stand naked, w/ yer small thought, in yer hand...

...once again, your predilection has become an ugly reflection of your anal/cranial inversion...

...thanks for sharing...

Anon 2:11 said...

Actually I do work for Rapha, I'm just pissed that I was passed over in favor of the Snob.

and in doing so I've only made an ass out of myself by purveying the very company I now hate by my derision of the guy that's purveying Rapha's good's via his derision. What can I say, it's just a derision orgy and I got confused?

Joe said...

Was this the product in Transformers?

bike

Anonymous said...

"then what's a little hypocrisy." It seems sadly that another fucking idiot has forgotten that this whole blog is a joke

anon 2:11 said...

I get your point.

And much like politics, this type of thing panders to people that this guy would not want to share a room with.

Some of us know what is going on but others vote for a woman just because she's a woman.

Like a radio host whose microphone is much louder than the person calling in so that they can never finish their thought, he got here first and the people who believe there is a destructive force at work are struggling to catch up.

But the fascists on here who resent the right of people to question the ones on the podium are loathed by me and what's wrong with this country.

Did anyone ever see that famous appearance by Jon Stewart on Crossfire? Well, Crossfire is just another example of this kind of hackery, but it does sell commercials and the talking heads do have their wardrobes provided to them even if they believe them to be overpriced and a little tacky.

Cycling is my thing and it's the only reason I write here. But I really believe that this place could be good for the sport. But it won't be. This is the age of infinite memory where you aren't allowed to change your mind, I mean, unless you really want to lose your credibility.

Anon 2:11 said...

Joke!?!

Joke!?!

you mean all this derision was a "JOKE"...

aw FUCK ME

Pennis the Menace said...

"aw fuck me"

Thats right, Anon 2:11 tuck your little wee wee into your mangina and have some fun wid yaself wydontcha?

anon 2:11 said...

If this whole blog was a joke, and we are supposed to just understand that, then he would not feel the need to apologize or correct himself when he makes mistakes.

But he does.

He can joke all he wants, I promise you, he wants you to take him seriously.

I hate naivety. These big picture people who tell me nothing matters and I should just relax and watch the toilet flush. Go back to your bongs and leave the workings of this world to more capable hands.

anon 2:11 said...

Oh man, I just got to watch two people make fun of each other pretending while one pretended to be me.

Now kiss and make up.

Critical Ass said...

Joe,

I think that olive drab bike is an indication that Bike Friday needs to come out with a fixie...soon.

Anon 2:11 - It's time to pick a name. Now that you have graduated from a mere troll to a not-so-well-liked member of the BSNYC Comments community, you can't go on being an Anon.

Maybe we can have a Name the Anon 2:11 contest.

Sexbot said...

Pennis,

I think there's now three Anon 2:11's and they are all have sex with each other?

ant1st said...

My vote is annoyimous 2:11

ant1st said...

"I hate naivety. These big picture people who tell me nothing matters and I should just relax and watch the toilet flush. Go back to your bongs and leave the workings of this world to more capable hands."

I hate idiots who take a small window of the world and equate it with some perceived global problem, without really making sense. Who the hell is naive here? Snobby? His faithful legions of fans? You for thinking about this blog a little too hard while ignoring its purpose/intent?
How is naivety related to whatever a "big picture" person may be? Has anyone really ever told you that nothing matters and you should just watch the toilet flush? Go back to our bongs? Is reading this blog while hitting the bong not a possibility? And finally, if you are the "more capable hands", the "workings of this world" are all yours dude. We, the more capable minds, will be more than happy to focus on things we enjoy, like this blog.

bikesgonewild said...

...what bikesgonewild said...

...oh, wait...i'm him & i already said that...

...damn, sparring w/ 'quasi-'-'s or 'not so much, an...'-'s is hard & confusing work...

bk jimmy said...

Anon 2:11,

Just because snobby recognizes a modicum of civility doesn't change the fact that the site is first and foremost a comedic viewpoint. Not everything has to be one extreme or another.

Slim said...

So, poke fun, but I would wager that at least one person with the money to burn saw that scarf for the first time at your blog and purchased it.

Usually the comments here are funny and intelligent, if a little snarky.

Your comments are none of those things. Are you getting the picture?

Anonymous said...

oh NO, Snob's done this before.
Wow he's definitely a shill then. Hypocrite!!! anon2:11 and I are never, ever reading this blog again. Shame on you Snob!

ps. we'll both see you tomorrow.

frilly said...

Commie-These frillies don't drop for just anybody.

Although, I did get called out as a bike groupie again on Sunday. All hearsay.

areUpake? said...

If we name anon 2:11 "kevinftmeyers" maybe he will go away as well. Although he is more interesting than Kevin ... slightly

Anonymous said...

BG dubs, that wasn't really you at 4:50pm, was it? I'd be dissappointed. You don't strike me as the fascist 'my way or the highway & you're an a55hole to boot' kind of a guy.

You can like this blog *and* criticize the writer when he f-cks up - the two are not mutually exclusive. (I'm sure the writer is just as sick of the saccharine suck ups as the rest of us.)

This company sent the writer a gift. He displayed it, the company's name and a letter from the company on his blog. I had never heard of the company before that post. I know it now.

So the company sent him a gift hoping to get some cheap advertising. And it worked. And I thought the letter was funny. And the writer's reply was funny, too. But the writer still got used for the company's marketing purposes - sure, he was probably aware of it, but he did get used.

So 2:11 calling him out on getting used is fair game, especially if you're concerned with someone getting used for commercial purposes, or you think not everyone realized that he got used. It was a worthwhile point.

+1 for 2:11.

Me, I don't really care about 'getting used for marketing blah blah,' but I'm kind of bored right now, like different viewpoints, and its annoying to see these persistent knee-jerk reaction to anyone who criticizes anything written on this blog. Especially from a venerable poster such as yourself.

So if that was you, crack open a cold one and call it a day. No worries, we all have off posts.

Andrew said...

its not nearly as big a deal as anoyimous says it is, but you do have to hand it to Slate: he knew that bandana was rife for ridicule on this blog and so he nuetralized it by "being in on the joke"...

..but that's all it is - a JOKE..

...besides, my scarf showed up today and I look awesome in it...

...especially when I'm stopped at a red light!

Anonymous said...

Why is knuckle “art” an accepted form of self expression here but a silk cravat a threat?

mr.complaint said...

Aren't all the tatoos product placement?

Piercings? Pudding rings?

And Black Shorts®? There can't be that many companies making them anymore.

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 6:14 pm...yep, ain't no doubt...sometimes as i sit & watch someone try & "beat a dead horse", well, it just precipitates a certain response in a part of my nasty nature & i takes me shots...

...you will recall that this is not 2:11-'s first shot across the snobs bow but rather the incessant ramming into the side of the blog where so many of us admittedly spend our time...

...it's also done in a certain manner that's guaranteed to elicit a response, but you'll notice 2:11 is careful what he/she/it responds to...

...pour moi, it let's off steam but i guess i'd better go for a ride, huh ???...

frilly said...

Andrew I bet you look hot (or even hotter).

Anonymous said...

If you look closer, you will see that all of those fuckstick St. Paul police officers are brandishing trecks against hippies.

Andrew said...

it's true frills: high quality silk is an excellent heat retainer.

frilly said...

Hmmm, I wonder about the wicking qualities. Cuz, sometimes its just not good to be all hot & sweaty.

Critical Ass said...

Hopefully some of the hippies in the picture were cyclists, so they knew which parts of the Trek Po-lice Interceptor to grab in order to fuck them up and render them temporarily unrideable. A rear derailleur cage is a good start.

leroy said...

Anon 2:11 --

Wait a minute. The Rapha post was a product placement?

Oh dear.

I haven't felt this used since I saw E.T. and then purchased a flying bicycle with a wicker alien carrier on the bars.

I should have known something was up when I went to my LBS looking for the Rapha scarf and was told "Yes, we have no bandanas."

Mongo Pusher said...

99 Luftballoons !

Cadel Evans said...

I want to become a pants magnate.

Andy Pandy said...

Then what do we make of Fatty who actually paid a reader $100 for getting the Clydesdale tat.

Not one carbon frame on that site. Thought you said bike porn... now I will have to hit up on Weight Weenies to fofonov.
And can Anon 2.11 morph into something else, say given the IQ we are witnessing, Anon 2.12 or John 3.16

Frilly , cool your jets Lady. Demur rememeber

abelgus said...

Please! Lets move the whole blog somewhere else and not tell anon2:11 where it is.

Better yet anon2:11 why don't you just go away and make your own blog instead of wheel sucking BSNYC?

AnnaZed said...

But the fascists on here who resent the right of people to question the ones on the podium are loathed by me and what's wrong with this country.

Ah, hummm .... maybe you could try that one again. I think it needs both an "and" and a "that is" though I could be wrong.

Just sayin'....

Anonymous said...

Rock Racing (with Hamilton's win) now has 3 National Champions, two being African American. Hamilton winning is a story I guess but the real accomplishment is here:

Rahsaan Bahati
http://bahatiracing.com/

tex said...

So... youse guys actually read 2:11's crap? Wow.

jesse ventura's brother said...

just like you do with your bike when an out of control dog attacks, but you bike between you and them.
then pound the nihilist into submission (dorks)

genersal lsmenedd said...

one less prius!!

buckfush said...

speaking of porn and product placement, I think the meaty model's helmet has been placed on her head backwards.

and mark the grammar policeman placing just outside the top 10, I understand what you mean by "as a former law enforcement member", but I still can't shake the idea of "ex cop's penis",somehow related to the proximity of spokes and genitalia in the Trek as trooper's truncheon photo. Perhaps some attention to your own usage is in order, something like "as a former member of the law enforcement community" removes any ambiguity.

anon 2:11 said...

Fatty held true to his word and the person with the tattoo asked it to be donated to charity.

About as classy as that exchange could be. I think that FatCyclist is one of the best things going in this community and BS will always be shadowed by him. The guy deserves a Nobel Prize. Such a difference how two people inspire an audience they never thought they would have.

You guys already named me, Anon 2:11 was the first thing I was referenced as here and I wanted people to know it was the same person talking. Downside is other people can pretend to be me but, as we saw earlier, it gets me a cheap laugh once in a while and you all usually seem to tell the difference.

Yes, a grammatical error, I believe Snob was corrected for one as well. But by all means, shit on me.

The difference is, when I get to say I told you so it's because something succeeded but, when you say it, it will be because something failed. So by all means, root for the collapse, then you can hang it up when your knees give and not be leaving as much behind.

anon 2:11 said...

I'm sure reading a couple hundred words is very difficult for you, tex, but not everyone can get a fourth grade education in Texas these days.

Unless you aren't from Texas. Then it's just scary. But keep dialing in to talk radio shows so you can agree with the host. It's very affirming.

frilly said...

AP, um, you're the one talking about fofonov and bike porn.

Bit of a double standard, eh?

PS Had a fab time flirting with Henk Vogels Sunday, hence the bike groupie comment. But it was all in good fun, I promise.

Andy Pandy said...

Frills,
No double standard I was all alone on Weight weenies locked in my mum's basement. And flirting is jst peachie according to the Southern Womens Home Companion, as long as there is a chaperone within hollerin distance and sober

Yaraslav Popovich said...

Yeah Cadel, you become a pants man and I can become a tour leader, one day yeah right. Now what was Robbie Macs phone number

bikesgonewild said...

...leroy...bear w/ me & i'll talk over anon 2:11 while he loves himself to death (we can only hope)...

...i grew up singing that "yes, we have no bandanas" song as a kid, although we faultily assumed it was bananas...years later, i get to the left coast & i'm riding w/ a local buddy & he sez "see that old guy, the crossing guard ???...he wrote "yes, we have no bandanas"...coulda knocked me over w/ a banana...

...i have been in the presence of greatness, at least once in my life...i mean other than on this site...

Renoir’s The Wave said...

but bong hits and chaos theory have rendered me unable to use a keyboard.... oh fuck, entropy! that is so the worst!
but the universe is still expanding anon 2:11... are you participating? i would suggest a mild hallucinogen, because your world view sucks dead animal behind. you need to step up.

frilly said...

Can't attest to the soberness, lots of Bud Light, but there was a crowd. Besides that he's a married man don'tcha know. So there are self-imposed limits to the roadie lust. What do Aussies say, no worries?

Andy Pandy said...

Now let me see.

No Wuckin forries, is the term

To become True Blue you must eat a red hot pie in one hand and skink a tinnie or two of beers in the other and drive a ute ( your pick up trucks). Perhaps you could practice those as males see them as alluring skills that all young frillies should possess

frilly said...

I'm almost afraid to ask, what's a red hot pie?

Got the beer thing down. Unless something goes terribly awry, I'm not exactly a pick up truck driving kind of gal.

Andy Pandy said...

A pastry covered delight filled with all kinds of road kill or national beasties. Generally although not exclusively digested at football games, but with real beer not that Bud light stuff

Fluffy said...

Hootie: What drove you to create the District 96?
Michael Leighton: ...we learned from our research that there are a ton of riders out there who place a value on their look and uniqueness...

A ton of riders who place value on their uniqueness? Market research is sooo helpful it makes me want to stick my thumbs in my eyes. I saw Bill Hicks do a standup routine once where he said "So who in the audience is involved in marketing?... ok please do me a favor and kill yourselves. No really, I'm not joking. No punchline. Sorry."

frilly said...

I suspected it might be something tasty. No thanks. Real beer, huh?

That's okay. I have other skills that most guys would find alluring.

Couldn't resist. Sweet dreams.

Anonymous said...

"It's not a b*** for everybody."

It's a b*** for no one!

"It's polarizing, I realize that."

And you communicated your thoughts very well with the b***'s black & chrome paint job. I guess all those years at designer guy art school have paid off!

"It also addresses those who have strong opinions."

see "no brains" photo from same post

"As far as the position goes, it's a lot more comfortable than first impressions."

Yes, but first impressions are important ones. Too bad you can't take a little constructive criticism and look past FGG for your creative ideas.

"You have to ride it to understand it."

I don't want to ride the b***. I know very well that my bikes are faster are more comfortable and handle better than your's ever will. I want take your b*** apart, use the good stuff for myself and recycle that lame attempt to be hip(b*** frame). Finally I would selling the rest on ebay.

"Haters'll hate but it's a slick ride."

Does anyone really say "haters" anymore?

I saw this b*** in person, in Wisconsin. The b*** has NJS cranks and pedals w/formula hubs laced to Velocity rims and no the spokes are not bladed. The handle bars and stem are from Trek's bottom of the line 820 MTB. The carbon fork is from Treks low end MIT WSD 44cm road frame set. To complete the b***'s cheese factor, the frame's rear drop-outs featuring fender and rack eyelets. In person the b*** really looks like the designer needs to go burn one behind the barn before he go's back to the drawing board.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Anon 2:11, please do not use the words "classy" and "tattoo" in the same sentence again. Notwithstanding the current tat phenomenon, I assure you that the two are mutually exclusive.

Kelly (XY) said...

New name for Ant 2:11, Blogsnob.

bikesgonewild said...

...re: the district 96...ok...it's a "product" w/ a marketing oriented raison d'etre...but, bottom line, pour moi, it's a fucking bicycle...i like all kinds of bikes & personally i happen to like the look, sooooooo...

...it then begs the question, how does it handle ???...does it track straight ???...is it twitchy or stable, despite it's supposed 'pursuit' geometry ???...what about when i stand up & pedal ???...did they cob it together w/ the right or wrong parts ???...

...if all that is good, then the fact that it was designed for people w/out their own imagination doesn't mean squat to me...i'll take it, add a few deft personal touches & it won't matter one iota to me about the disingenuous machinations behind the process of getting it into the hands of the 'great unwashed'...

...bsnyc/rtms...if they offer you one, please ask for a 57mm...that way, if your conscience or the drama queens won't let you ride it in peace & comfort, i'll gladly handle the responsibility...

...& even at my "advanced" age, every one of my bikes is set up w/ high seat & low bars, so i'm good w/ the configuration...

...thanks...

bikesgonewild said...

...& while i'm at it, i think it's great that tyler hamilton won the nat's & gets to share that for the next year w/ the man who had faith in him...

...i hate drugs in cycling but hamilton was one of the few guys who bore the brunt for the huge percent of the peloton that 'used'...it was the era & hopefully it's really changing...

...& while micheal ball has said some dumb things (hell, haven't we all) & he's bound to say some more (as i'm sure i will, at least), he's put his money & ideas into a sport that needs fresh people & ideas...

...props to hamilton, ball & rock racing...

Johann S said...

Last!

Time to Fofanov!

cornhole said...

wear the fuck is the fucking f-bomber? i miss him.

Anonymous said...

BG dubs! You save-up Sammy - rallied back with two good posts at the buzzer.

Johann S said...

Oh, and I'm a pants magnet.

Commiecanuk said...

BGW...dude, you cannot support that douche. He's lied since day one, he stole an Olympic medal, he's got a website with more bullshit than anon 2:11 and after his return to racing, he got caught drafting cars at the Tour of Cali.
That wanker never rode a clean race in his life.

Pro cycling sucks.

chump said...

hey I went to college with the douche with the soul patch and flip flops the answers to the questions show exactly the type of shit they shove down your throat in ID (industrial design) school. what do you expect from people who masturbate to Blade Runner and the 5th Element every night, as they go to sleep.

Tyler 2:11 said...

Ahh Commie. dangit

you mentioned the very reasons to like Tyler 2:11

A complete reprobate hung out to dry, and now re-hab'd by a pants magnate.

That he still slinks up to the start line like El Senior Dos:Once does to his keyboard.

Can only mean one thing. All balls no brains just like MB hzzonslf.

+1 BGW
+1 to you for same reasons*

negative 6.02 x 10 to tha 23rd power to both Anon 2:11 and his sycofuck...1 day gone by and they still don't get the joke.




*liking wat chu like & diggin wat chu dig without being complete dicks about it.

Anonymous said...

Chump, what's wrong with masturbating to Blade Runner and the 5th Element? The stones are in the Diva, dude.

Anonymous said...

Cream of Mushroom Soup Recipe

Ingredients

* 1 pound regular white mushrooms, cleaned, quartered or sliced
* 1 Tbsp lemon juice
* 1 Tbsp unsalted butter
* 2 Tbsp minced shallots
* 1 Tbsp chopped fresh thyme or 1 teaspoon dried thyme
* 1/2 bay leaf
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1/2 teaspoon fresh ground pepper
* 2 cups heavy cream
* 1 1/2 cups chicken stock
* 1 teaspoon cornstarch dissolved in 1 Tbsp water
* Minced parsley for garnish

agent detroit said...

did anyone else see the minneapolis footage of the large african-american police officer using his trek as a riot shield against anarchists? he would have been better off with a fixed gear. just push forward while turning the back wheel for digit loppin' action!

chiggins said...

sprider said...

chiggins, the correct quote would be, "we don't need to show you no stinkin' patches".


Not if you're quoting The Minutemen it ain't.

Anonymous said...

"and his sycofuck"

Anonymous said...

"and his sycofuck"

"*liking wat chu like & diggin wat chu dig without being complete dicks about it."

Wha? Am I the sycofuck? The inconsistencies in your post make my head hurt ... we scored +1 for BG dubs for the same reason. I should get +1 on the * footnote, not -6*10^23.

Tyler 2:11 said...

Anon 6:14 & 8:50.

You are right.

I should apologize but then I'd be a complete dick and not just a semi-complete "pennis" as they like to say

Anonymous said...

I have to rant that some scrawny summer-job "bike messenger" was feeling feisty on his last day of work before going back to his suburban college and spitted at me to "enjoy the office" as I sped by him this morning (hard for the little man to go fast without gears and brakes).

Poor guy doesn't know that I actually will enjoy my day at the office, and I'll especially enjoy the vast amounts of money I will earn at my rewarding and challenging job.

I hope he enjoys the 90 degree weather today, the money his parents are pouring into his college fund, and his chosen career as a "bike messenger" competing with homeless guys on stolen mountain bikes, delivering pay checks to me.

Messengers, go fuck yourselves and your stupid track bikes.

(PS, I decided to follow him and spit on him. Yeah! Revenge!)

Anonymous said...

You kids are all really quite funny. Tell me, what is the real difference between paying for someone to tattoo their artwork on you, and getting a free tattoo from a bike company?

The way I see it, the big bike company is providing a healthy and clean means of transportation. And by someone getting a tattoo of their logo, they are standing up for the companies values, free or not.

What are the values of your tattoo artist? How is he improving the world? Better yet, what are your values, seeing that you just got branded by someone you don't know?

Maybe I am wrong, no?

Anonymous said...

How do you think credit crunch affected porn?


----------------
kelly divine

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