It's the Friday before a holiday weekend. As such, I feel like I can be somewhat informal with you today, and I hope you don't mind if I let my hair down. (I usually keep it in a tight and sensible bun.) The fact is, times are hard. First of all, I got that ticket yesterday, and between hiring Daniella Levi (who has won millions of dollars for her clients over the years) and the scary mustachioed guy from 1-800-Lawyers (I'm taking the CSC approach by fielding a twin-pronged assault on this ticket) I'm feeling pretty strapped. Second of all, it also turns out my mortgage is one of those exponential ones where the interest rate is multiplied by itself every month. It hardly seems fair to make me pay it since I didn't even know what an exponent was (I just thought it was a marketing term for "excellent"), but Daniella Levi and the mustachioed guy from 1-800-Lawyers tell me I don't have much of a case. Also, I rent my apartment, which makes the whole enterprise seem doubly shady.
So it's a very good thing that Rapha, the J. Peterman of cycling clothing, is taking pity on me and sending me free stuff in the mail. My need for cash is so acute that I was actually down to my last bandana, with no immediate hope of procuring more. So you can imagine my relief when I opened the package and found this elegant schmata:
Elated, I tied that thing around my neck faster than a hiker ties a tourniquet around his buddy's hemorhhaging limb:
(Cravat by Rapha. Shirt by Stevil. Photo by Annie Leibovitz.)
I was so touched by this gift that I burst into tears and proceeded to fill my Rapha cravat with mucus. Thank you, Slate. I will treasure this.
So with times as hard as they are, it's no surprise I've been watching the PistaDex more closely than Cadel Evans watches the wheel in front of him. (There's always a wheel in front of him.) I do own some track stuff and it's crucial for me to know if I should sell and move my cycling-related investments into other areas. At the moment the NYC PistaDex is at 540, with these two offerings:
Date: 2008-08-27, 5:45PM EDT
2007 Bianchi Pista Track Bike, 53cm
Excellent condition fixed gear bike. Great for riding around the city, light weight, quick and fast. I've added bullhorn handlebars, and a front Shimano 105 break. It's been stored inside and never ridden in the rain. Perfect bike for someone looking to try out their first fixie.
Asking: $480/obo
BIKE SPECS
Frame: Double-butted chrome-moly frame
Crankset: Sugino RD, 48 teeth
Rear Cog: 1-speed, 16 teeth
Handlebar: Soma Bullhorns
Stem: Bianchi aluminum
Headset: 1" threadless VP
Hubs: Bianchi hi-flange
Rims: Alex AT-400, 32-hole
Tires: 700 x 23c
Stand Over: 30.5"
Here's a link to the Bianchi website:
http://www.bianchiusa.com/07_pista.html
I'm not sure why people are compelled to point out a bike hasn't been ridden in the rain. What do I care? People seem to be under the impression their bikes are made out of Now and Laters or something, and that if they ride them in the rain they'll slowly dissolve. I'm here to tell you that's not the case. Water will not hurt your bicycle. If it did, how would you wash it? The fact that your bicycle may have gotten wet at some point is not going to prevent me from buying it.
bianchi pista 2008 51 cm - $600 (Upper West Side)
Reply to: sale-813206271@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-08-26, 12:14AM EDT
brand new just a week old.
Well that was fast. But I'm confused. Is it brand new or a week old?!?
In any case, the PistaDex may still be fairly high, but when I see someone ditching a week-old ride I get nervous. This could presage a plummet in the PistaDex. More disturbing was this sign:
Campagnolo Record Pista Track 165 Cranks - $250 (Lower East Side)
Reply to: [deleted]
Date: 2008-08-28, 3:01PM EDT
I'm selling a lot of my track stuff so that I can come up with the money for a motorcycle.
These Campy Record Pista Track Cranks are in really good shape. Normal wear. $250.00
DOES NOT COME WITH THE pedals. If you want the pedals, it's an extra $50.00 They are MKS NJS pedals with Black soma double cages & two sets of leather straps.
Here's somebody jumping off the fixed-gear bandwagon in order to jump on the motorcycle one. This would not be noteworthy in and of itself, but it so happens that the reader who forwarded me this ad says that the seller is none other than Kevin. This saddens me deeply, because I'm sure you'll agree that Kevin was a member of not only the cycling family but the family of this blog. It was only about six months ago that he was reluctantly selling his Mavic bars in order to fund a new build. Now he's leaving it all behind.
Frankly, I don't take anybody's leaving cycling lightly. We need all the riders we can get. Kevin, if you're reading this, I implore you to think twice about what you're doing. If you think motorcycling is a bold new world of renegade fashions and high-speed adventure, I'm here to tell you that it's not. Motorists will treat you just as poorly and with as little respect as they treat cyclists--except instead of going 20mph when they turn into your lane without looking you're going 70mph. Also, if you think track stuff is expensive in NYC, just wait until you start shopping for a motorcycle. The only thing more overpriced than NJS is UJM, because cafe racer conversions are the fixed-gear conversions of the motorcycle world. Moving from unwrapped bars to wrapped pipes will only cause you more angst. Yes, Kevin, your sleeves will look awesome on a motorcycle as you stretch to reach your clubman bars, but please, think twice before you leave us. We need you. The PistaDex hangs in the balance!
Fortunately, though, there are still those willing to make a lifetime commitment to the fixed-gear lifestyle, as you can see from this photo, forwarded by a reader:
As pleased as I am to see that there is at least one rider out there who will (ostensibly) never leave us, I will admit I was somewhat perplexed. My understanding of the knuckle tattoo was that the word break should be between the hands. This one, however, requires a Vulcan salute in order to read "No Brakes." Otherwise, it says, "Nobr Akes," who I'm pretty sure is a Greek bouzouki player who opened for Letle Viride a few times. Also, while this rider certainly intends to continue riding brakeless for the rest of his days, this tattoo will preclude him from occasionally riding a bicycle with brakes, because the sight of those paws squeezing a pair of brake levers (even useless ones) would be overwhelmingly ironic. And lastly, once upon a time at least, getting something tattooed on your knuckles was a bold statement. It said, "I'm an outcast and I don't care who knows it because I'll never be a part of polite society." It was a real commitment. Consequently, in the spirit of commitment, wearers of such tattoos would pick one phrase, like "Love/Hate" or something like that. Having two more or less unrelated phrases on the same pair of hands completely obviates that effect. It's like having two women's names on the same arm, each followed by the word forever.
In any case, who cares what I think, as long as he's happy. And he can certainly take solace in the fact that if he ever winds up on the inside he'll already have the Robert DeNiro "Cape Fear" remake look. Best of all, he might even get to fabricate LeMonds:
In an odd twist, an inmate at a federal prison in Williamsburg, South Carolina filed a motion to intervene in the lawsuit in July, alleging that he and other inmates produce bikes for LeMond under the Federal Prison Industry Unicor Program for 12 cents an hour, a violation of minimum wage laws. The inmate also claimed LeMond bicycle are shipped to Iranian troops for training purposes, violating the “Training with Enemy” Act.
12 cents an hour?!? That sounds like pretty good money!
108 comments:
no brakes!
podium!!!
WTF
yeah!!!!
top 10
Yeah, FIFTH ! Thanyou to Entenmann's Training Systems !!!
6th!
oh well, top ten
Yeah, I figured you went to Single Speed World's out in Napa last weekend. The T-Shirt confirms my suspicion.
In fact, El Snobo, is this you?
I have BIGP USSY on my knuckles. but no one can figure out what it means. I am in fact referring to my love of prince chunk. what can I say? I'm a lifetime pussy lover. j
im fof'vd again!
The week-old Pista was probably bought with one of those bike shop "90 days same as cash" credit cards that convert to 24% after 90 days. The seller has no intention of paying it off.
The Pista will be converted into $500-$600 worth of weed by this afternoon.
Umm, water can hurt your bike if it stays wet. More common knowledge ignored for the sake of a joke. I wash my bike by drying it afterwards. If you stored your frames in bathtubs of standing water they would suffer for it. Water is corrosive.
It's a week old. It's like making fun of someone for asking, "What time is it now?"
"You mean now or when you asked me?" Richard.
Yes, it's true, the pista-riding lemmings are hopping to the next scene, which is MOTORCYCLES, specifically, CAFE style motorcycles.
They snoop around on the moto forums asking stupid questions about clubman bars and how to hammer knee dents into their CB360 fuel tanks.
check out This Site
God damn the lot of them!!!!!
The guy has "GAME OVER" and "NOBR AKES"? What is the protocol on multiple hand phrases??
Note to self:
When posting Pista on Craigslist, state "Not stored in bathtubs of standing water."
Also I think there's room for a third tattoo between the other ones, which is perhaps what the guy has planned. I suggest "freewheel" which will make a nice set. "freewheel" has too many letters, of course, but I think "freewhee" will do just fine.
I knew LeMond was dirty. Shame on him.
Anon 2:11, I wash my balls by drying them afterwards.
I think fixie motor bikes are a good idea. And you could still wear your silk scarf, your Rapha hoodie and all the tatoos.
Hopefully you clipped off the "dry clean only" tag.
Rain or a bath would water down your ironic Orange Julius Bike. Zapping it of all it's strength..
Anon 2:11,
Just bounce the thing up and down for a few seconds to shake the water off and be done with it. (Anonymous 12:41pm, if you choose to apply this technique as well you do so at your own risk.)
--RTMS
I think the Bike Snob went to the SSWC as well...thus the picture of the Mairn headlands. I think in the past Snob has poo-poo'ed the single speed: he must be one of those self loathing single speeders.
keep that scarf outta the rain!
I think I have a diagnosis for Anon 2:11. Now what about KFFM....
The lawsuit sounds like the work of one industrious Jonathan Lee Riches. That guy is by far my favorite federal prisoner.
Here's my new poem. Like it?
Training with Enemy Act
by Anonymous
In an odd twist an inmate
at a federal prison
in Williamsburg South Carolina
filed a motion
to intervene in the lawsuit in July
alleging that he and other inmates
produce bikes for LeMond
under the Federal Prison Industry Unicor Program
for 12 cents an hour
a violation of minimum wage laws
The inmate also claimed
LeMond bicycle are shipped
to Iranian troops
for training purposes
violating the “Training with Enemy” Act
Bikesnobnyc,
I'd never thought of that. Or I could race through red lights for the blowdry treatment.
I can't stop, officer, I'm drying off my bike. How else am I going to sell it on CL in a week?
Criticalass,
I am so honored, I love House.
The guy with those tattoos is from around Boston has been riding fixed for less than 6 months.
His bike is equally deplorable and he ran into a messenger at the Toronto NACC's because he's an idiot.
NATURAL SELECTION AT WORK
e with a line over it
Are all Rapha products addressed to "Mr." and wrapped in the Gazetta della Sport? Classy.
last two images not coming up.
Anon 1:17 = Dick
...what broomie said...
This morning the first thing to greet me in my email was a note from Rapha announcing the arrival of their $85 scarf.
I think I'm going to pile up my Rapha jersey's vomit on them and then set them afire.
Even the Fonz would say an $85 scarf is jumping the shark.
agree with Broomie
That's a very versatile tattoo, if he changes his mind about brakes then with a simple fingerectomy it could read "no bra" or "no rakes", or even "no raks", 'cause only utility bike dorks ride to the store.
It looks like the No Brakes guy is in a hospital. Hmmm.
Snobby, are you sure you don't mean Diane Arbus?
anon 1:17,
natural selection at 65? you dumbass, it sounds like she had a full and exhilarating life (much better than one of scorn).
that was a sweet story though, thanks for sharing.
Holy God Snob,
Do you really have a job anymore? It would take me days to post all that or am I just that slow and dumb?
-B
@1:17
There's a time for triathlete jokes and a time for human decency and respect
That 65 year old sounded like she could wipe the roads with this 20-something-er.
So STFU.
snarkoverload.com seems to be unregistered. I mean, holy crap, that was a "Wild Ride" as they say in ancient Scotland.
Bikesnob -- How do you expect the PistaDex to trade now that pictures of the new '09 Bianchi flat bar Pista have been leaked and are all over the web? I'd like to put in my trades and would benefit from your expert analysis. What's your support level? Your resistance level? What's your forecast for PistaDex at year's end?
told you bike snob was a woman
dats me with da tats in dat pitur. macdonolds sad it woud be ok ifi got dem.dey aint gona fire me.
So is the craze really over? That would be so sweet!!! I am going to get so much stuff for cheap. Just in time for Winter.
bike snob, when he is asleep in bed with you tonight, change the N to an M and the B to an F. Mo Fakes... get it? rad...
Gee, I hope he doesn't lose any fingers. NOBRAKES would turn into NO RAKES (that would please to pro-leaf folks);NO BAKES (for the micro biotic folks); OAKS (for the tree loving crowd);or even NAKE, which I found out means to make naked..
critical ass, I know people will say I should lighten up and try to rip on me... and they may be right... but I am not sure that Asperger's is a good joke.
... just sayin'
Anonymous 12:57pm,
Actually I was going to change it to "Mo Cheeks," my favorite sports name after "Johnny Wockenfuss." Even works well without the Vulcan salute: "Moch Eeks."
--RTMS
...sorry, I meant Anonymous 2:57pm.
Anon 1:17;
Was that just your own special way of announcing to the world that you're a douchebag?
Anon...1:17 PM
Woah there asshole, not funny.
Sorry if I ofended anyone with the Asperger post, but I have some doubt as to whether it really exists. Autism definitely exists and is not a joke. My only personal experience with Asperger Syndrome was with a former co-worker, a conniving bitch, who claimed to have it. She just didn't seem to get irony, sarcasm, or really any kind of humor. So we researched it online and she fit a FEW of the characteristics, one of which is outlined in the Wiki article:
**Children with AS appear to have particular weaknesses in areas of nonliteral language that include humor, irony, and teasing. Although individuals with AS usually understand the cognitive basis of humor they seem to lack understanding of the intent of humor to share enjoyment with others.[11] Despite the strong evidence of impaired humor appreciation, there are many anecdotal reports of humor in individuals with AS, which challenge our theories of humor in AS.**
Sorta sounds like our latest troll to me
http://www.explosm.net/comics/1365/
I hope that happens to you.
HA!
Sorry, my Asspurger must be acting up.
But at least I'm not suffering from an epic burn.
Like you!
Totally burned...
And let me get this straight, what was you teasing me has become an apology because someone else took offense and didn't see the humor in your post so you have to justify yourself? Ironic, but I guess I can't expect you to grasp that.
You are a pussy.
Sports cravat!
Diagnosis confirmed.
It could also be NOB RAKES, some sort of...nevermind.
...speaking of 'mo cheeks'...anon 2:11 is fast becoming an 'assburger', if he wasn't already there...
...& critical ass...yer not particularly offensive w/ your reference whereas anon 1:17pm just installed him/herself in the pantheon of 'dipshitedness'...
...that's a made up word, btw...
Either all the world's best framebuilders eventually end up in prison on felony murder charges where fortunately they can continue to persue their craft, or Lemonds are burnt together by former pipe welders prone to violence.
I'm riding my Lemond home very slowly today. No bumps.
great week of entertainment, thanks snob.
anon 1.17, dick.
pursue...couldn't let it go
why did they yank the plug on a poor lady in shock from a major accident when they know how rewarding christopher reeves life was even after he got injured.
im just a poor stupid country bumbkin, what do i know, but the real tragedy kinda sounds like the family bumped the poor lady off.
just sayin'.
Oh Snobby, you big Loveable Lug. When you are not making me feel bad about doing trackstands, you actually make me smile.
Anon 1:17 - you are a fucking dickhead.
What took you so long to comment, Judi? I was starting to worry about you (yes, I really care)!
Mark, are you stalking me?
I like the tribute to Mo Cheeks, laughed so hard I almost lost my track stand.
You will pleased to know the bikes available for checkout at the DNC did not come equipped with pie plates!
Now that I read it all over I'm with broomie, bgw... and judi.
-B
Here are Anon 1:17's knuckles:
|D| |I| |C| |K| |H| |E| |A| |D|
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
\ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ /
"nobr akes"... brilliant. thanks for the laugh, snob!
i love how american apparel is the new sponsor of fgg....
Bikesnob..
Thanks for doing a 2nd writeup on me! The part that you forgot to pay attention to was that I was selling off most of my bike stuff. NOT ALL. I didn't want to dip into my bank account when I could sell off some bike stuff in order to buy a motorcycle.
I wound up keeping one of my bikes, and a good bit of parts.
and yes, my SSWC attendance suspicions were also confirmed. Unfortunately, even while I was on the lookout the whole time, my eagle eye missed you. Musta been the whitey tities (snobby bastard!).
tighties I mean. If I'm gonna use a made-up word, I might as well spell it right!
f-u-c-k-y-o-u-t-o-o
Hmmm. Interesting that Rapha sent you the scarf in the mail...Did they know your address from your last purchase? Grand Tour Gloves (Made with African hair sheep skin?...)
BTW - it's "Now or Laters" not "Now and Laters" - you know...you can't eat your "Now or Later" and have it too.
Sorry - i'm an idiot. It is "now and later..."
Snob-
Why are you advertising an $85 scarf? Product placement takes away from your credibility.
you can love fixed gear bikes and bikes with brakes too.
i race fixed gear brakeless and geared bikes with brakes.
That's a good question, just how do companies send you free shit?
This guy wants to trade his whole bike collection for a motorcycle:
http://denver.craigslist.org/bik/820425484.html
That''s not what it says.
Here is the whole text of the ad:
**I have a collection of vintage steel road bikes, fixed gears, 3 speeds, pre-WW II cruisers, ballooners, Campagnolo Nuovo Record, Super Record, Record components, Suntour Superbe, Dura Ace, Super Champion, Brooks, Ideale, Mavic, USA, France, England, Japan, Italy, etc...Numerous frame sizes but most are near 56-57cm. Trade for a good motorcycle with a clean title.
I'd like a Harley, BMW, Honda, Kawasaki, Triumph. Let me know what you have. Thanks for looking.**
Now how did you score on the verbal section of the SAT, Dickhead 9:53?
Critica Lass,
It sez "a collection" Not "whole" collection.
Spanks me vurrie mawch
(background muzak: Benny Hill Kazoo song)
Check Craigslist Kansas City, the midwest PistaDex is at $600.
I was watching some season one of Arrested Development last night - now when I think 'no brakes', all I see is Buster.
"I'm FLYING!!!!"
congrats on being so high on google rank
you must suck a lot of dick to think someone cares about you being such an ignorant cunt
Kevin, you wonder of mankind morphing from Pista to Harley. Note to self , Create HarleyDex register it and sell it and make a killing
And since when did Anon 2.11 gain legitimacy to preach on anything
lol at people getting harsh on snob
ps NAKE'S (for the ladies)
http://www.howtoavoidthebummerlife.com/weblog/archives/yurisswcshirt.jpg
Two different people with eerily similar shirts, OR THE SAME PERSON!
you guys decide.
it is september where is your new post? this crap is old...
fuck labor day.
peep this. i was so inspired by no brakes mcgee that i had to create.
http://i382.photobucket.com/albums/oo270/khrist242/nobrainstattoo.jpg
is it some kooky holiday today then?
100th!
I think that since powers of percentages get smaller an exponential mortgage would actually be pretty sweet, but otherwise that's a pretty spot on post RTMS.
The advantage of that tattoo is that three fingers can be written over while the rider is in a convalescent hospital to spell A-I-N over E-A-K.
Nob Rains!
when you are not looking Giant Cunt of a man Snob is going to gobble u up with some big ol hairy lips.
I liked the pictures I joined the blog ... the truth was great! very varied and interesting topics ... keep writing friend, you are really very good ...
my best friend has a bike very similar to that, actually when we read the blog that someone had stolen ... it is curious to all that usually happens to people when they surf the Web! thanks for letting me share my experience ..
Got to love Craigslist. they get a lot of viewers, sold a lot of stuff on there very easily. great site
I no longer own any underwear I doubt that I could be convinced to wear some even with a rented kilt. Gosh, I hope they dry clean them anyway after each rental. Dry Cleaning Services
Nice journey :)
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