Thursday, February 14, 2008

Worst of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads #51

Today may be Valentine's Day, but it's also officially a Very Big Day in the world of bicycle retailing. Why? Because Kevin's selling his handlebars. And when love and bikes face off, you can always count on bikes to fight dirty, kick love squarely in the groin, and take the win. So if you've got some cash earmarked for a floral arrangement, a romantic dinner, or a pair of fruit roll-up underwear, forget it. This is an ad nobody can resist:


Mavic TT Bars **This is what all you track & Fixed Gear Riders** - $80 [original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/bik/572669168.html]
Reply to: [deleted]

Date: 2008-02-13, 10:23AM EST


This is what all you track and fixed-gear riders what? "Have been waiting for?" "Need to make your lives complete?" "Are humping in your dreams when you're doing those goofy epic-length skids?"

I've been asked a million times weather I'd sell my Mavic TT bars and I always said no..

Wow, a million times. That's a lot! You've got to be a really together person not to let that level of attention go to your head. I can see him emerging from his building each morning, only to be greeted by the neighborhood fixed-gear riders:

"Is today the day, Kevin? Will you sell us your bars now? Pleeeze!?!"

I'm sure up until now he's given them the "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" treatment:

"It's not for sale, Fran-cis!"

But now, finally, they are for sale. Huzzah. Why?

I'm not using these on my new buildup so they now on the market.. (Going with all black parts on my build)

I see. Kev's taking the cool up a few notches with the new bike, so we now have access to his cast-offs. I for one am glad that he is keeping the trickle-down economy of fixed-gear coolness alive. See, as Kev gets cooler, he sells off the stuff he's tired of, which in turn makes less cool people a little bit cooler as well. The result is we all move towards a state of ultimate cool. And that's beautiful.

By the way, if you were wondering just how cool Kev is, he's subtly showing you with his photos:


"Yeah, instead of just placing the bars on a surface of some kind I think I'll hold them up in the air so people can see my ink. Check it out, a full sleeve. They don't give these to just anybody."


"Yep, full sleeve on the left arm too. Impressed? Thought so."

“See? They go all the way up to my elbow!” I wish I had been there when he was taking this photo. He must have looked like William Tell about to shoot an arrow of cool right through the apple he’s just placed on dorkiness’s head.

Normal scratches here and there which you can see in the pictures. Price is firm due to the fact that they are rare, everyone wants them, and I've even had people offer me way more for them.

Kevin
212-[deleted]

Everybody wants Kev's bars, but Kev isn't in it for the money. He's just trying to keep the continuum of cool going. By the way, Kev isn't the only thing in those photos with sleeves--those handlebars look like they've got a sleeve as well, which means you can get a better quality TT bar brand new from Nashbar for a quarter of what Kev's asking. But then again, it wouldn't be rare, would it? And as we all know, aluminum handlebars get stronger with age.

NOTE: I also have some other things I'd trade.. Campy Record 165 Track Cranks I'd trade for Black Sugino 75 Cranks (in great shape)

Campy Aero Seatpost 27.2 I'd trade for a Black Miche Supertype

Pictures upon request..

Kevin is clearly over classic Italian. Take note. Black is the new black.

By the way, if you're lucky enough to wind up with these coveted bars, I recommend a nice spoke card to go with them:




(Thanks to Jimmy in Brooklyn for the design.)

94 comments:

leroy said...

Happy Valentines Day.

paco said...

Dos

mander said...

Nice one

KP said...

Yeah but will K-Fed throw in the Primal Wear tattoo arm warmers to sweeten the deal?

Anonymous said...

Spoke card is great

cody said...

some people's kids...

Anonymous said...

"He must have looked like William Tell about to shoot an arrow of cool right through the apple he’s just placed on dorkiness’s head."

That's just too classic! Good post today BSNYC, where do you come up with crap like that? The obscure references I can handle... I make plenty of them myself through the day... but stuff like that makes me wonder why you aren't writing for the J Peterman Catalog(ue).

FunkyLaneO said...

"By the way, Kev isn't the only thing in those photos with sleeves--those handlebars look like they've got a sleeve as well, which means you can get a better quality TT bar brand new from Nashbar for a quarter of what Kev's asking."

Classic! that quote made my day.

Anonymous said...

Nicely done, BSNYC. I hope Kevin is doubting all his life decisions at this point. Maybe he will just impale himself on his bar ends and save the world one more jackass.

racer x said...

hahahaha... HAHAHAHAHAhaha..
damn it was worth checkin your blog today thats for sure.

ahhhhh...

oh kevin.. when will you learn

Anonymous said...

finally laughed my ass off at a posting this week.

applause

mm said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

good one.

Karl Rover said...

Aluminum ages about as well as a hoppy beer out of the fridge

Anonymous said...

Guess I'll be sending those new Black Mavic rims back.

frig.

Pete said...

youre never going to run out of material with the apocolypse approaching

Boz said...

What would the world be without Kevins? No quite as funny, I would guess.
More cowbell?
No, more Kevin.

Commiecanuk said...

It's pronounced, "Fooook Mah veek."

"One of the most salient features of our culture is that there is so much bullshit. Everyone knows this. Each of us contributes his share. But we tend to take the situation for granted. Most people are rather confident of their ability to recognize bullshit and to avoid being taken in by it. So the phenomenon has not aroused much deliberate concern. We have no clear understanding of what bullshit is, why there is so much of it, or what functions it serves"

HG Frankfurt, in "On Bullshit".Princeton University Press.

mr.complaint said...

I know that scene Kevin has on his sleeves. It's from Punch as he outwits the Devil.

Huzzah.

He could use a few black sharpies.

Back to the sofa.

Jim said...

We have no clear understanding of what bullshit is, why there is so much of it, or what functions it serves"

I can see you've never worked with cows, in government, or as a lawyer, CommieCanuck.

Anonymous said...

killing field sprints. that one registered at 6 this morn.

Anonymous said...

I hate black components*: Stems, handlebars, cranks, wheels, and derailleurs should not be all black. Whatever happened to silver as a component color? It's almost impossible to find stems & handlebars, seatposts, and increasingly, wheels in silver. It's like the entire bike industry (or the part of it that makes parts) has gone the way of Henry Ford: "You can have any color you like as long as it's black."

*Please note, I think black is a great color. It should probably be the only color for tires, bike shoes and shorts/tights.

Anonymous said...

Excellent ode to to the fucksters on today's DC:
http://tinyurl.com/2cnqsw

Paul said...

http://cgi.ebay.com/Mavic-Time-Trial-hadlebar-Pista-track-bullhorn_W0QQitemZ310023352787QQihZ021QQcategoryZ27951QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Clearly, someone else in Brooklyn knows a little better what the bars are worth without the show. Although a quick glance at the rest of their wares points to such rarities as a custom road frame with complete gold campy groupo, enough to make any fixed gear hipster jealous.

Anonymous said...

happy v-day show some love
ride a fuckin bike this is my main goal today.


Joe

Bluenoser said...

I'm certainly going to have to re-think things.

I worked in a cowbarn once. Not a reclaimed one but one that cows were using.

250 cows but only one bull. So it seems that there was a lot more of another kind of shit around, other than bull that is.

Boz said...

Anon 1:22
I have 2 silver bikes, with black components so I can tell what parts to hold and pedal. I am easily confused, so this helps me alot.

Anonymous said...

"I'm not using these on my new buildup so they now on the market.. (Going with all black parts on my build)"

what am i missing? those bars are black.

Cameron said...

Don't buy Kevin's bars. I've got some like these that I'll sell for $75 and I'll even ship them for free! They are probably more rare than those Mavics. I'm only looking to make $50, so my loss is your gain!

M. Weed said...

Can we have a "fuck Velocity" sticker too?

Anonymous said...

Bikesgonewild, I am glad that you chose to delete your beyond-inappropriate posts on reproductive technology from earlier this week. However, this being Valentines Day and all, before we get back to bikes, can you give us the 1-800 number for the 30-day free trial of the penis enhancement pills you were apparently shilling for?

Bluenoser said...

The comments list is now the SnobList.

Sell you're stuff here.

Is no place safe.

Anonymous said...

Ha, Earmarked is the new buzzword for wasted monies!

BikesnobNYC Your Hella BOMB-diggity, Im So stoked that you fo-sho be Chillin and Clownin these wack cats all inked up and shizz-nit.

but really BSNYC you are a funny motherfucker!

Anonymous said...

actually earmarked refers to public money set aside for an individuals own prerogative.

leroy said...

Well at least Kevin has no misspelled tattoos.

Unless, of course, he was taking care to position his camera so we didn't see "Thug Lite."

Anonymous said...

I'm that Kevin!!!
Great post Bike Snob..
The price was pretty much put up that high since I really didn't want to get rid of them.

Good play

Cameron said...

bluenoser:

I was being factitious in an attempt at humor.

Bluenoser said...

cameron.

same here.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Kevin,

Good to hear from you, and thanks for being a sport.

But if you didn't really want to sell the bars then why did you...oh, never mind.

--BSNYC

Anonymous said...

OMG OMG !!! I made it onto BSNYC Im Kevin Hey look its me Kevin...Good one BSNYC..Good job making fun of me, thanks again!!

Cool The Kid said...

The trickle down economy of cool??? Priceless!

I'm going to be selling a pretty awful fixie conversion soon. I'm really hoping and praying I don't end up here....

Anonymous said...

Kevin stands by his convictions--he took down the CL post.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Cool the Kid,

If the price is in line with the awfulness and you don't gratuitously insert any body parts into the pics I doubt you will.

--BSNYC

Anonymous said...

took 2 negatives and made a positive.

Cameron said...

Snob, It's called a feeler post. You post stuff for sale you have no intention of selling, just to see how many people want your stuff. It serves to purposes, 1)gives you an idea of how cool you are (if you get a good response) 2) you can gauge how much you can expect to make if you are ever forced to part with the item (you know...to pay rent and shit).

Anonymous said...

Bikesnob, how come the gratuitously-inserted body parts are never the naughty bits?

Anonymous said...

I always get a kick out of these idiots who perpetually try to sale their kids out-grown in two months infant sized Harley chopper. Seems every one of those mid-aged biker posers who turned their noses up at bikers back when they were cool, now have to get all the Harley shit like they were into it all along..
Only idiots spend big money on a kids first bike; rarely do they actually ride it much before an upgrade (or rather up size)..
You know motorcycles are not cool anymore when bikers have more money than brains...

HQ said...

Bike Snob..

It's because the bars are back on my bike as we speak. Why did I want to sell them you ask?? Extra cash for V-Day gifts for my girl.. Why else do any of us ever try to sell the mass amount of bike shit we have.

I gotta be a sport about it.. C'mon now.. It's just the internet..

Bluenoser said...

He's played the Valentine's Day card Snob.

leroy said...

"Don't change your tats for me,

That would make a rat of me.

Stay little Valentine, stay.

Each day is Valentine's Day."

What? Like nobody sings the classics any more?

Laura said...

Sweet Jeebus...


I think I recognize those tattoos. eek.

Anonymous said...

Snob,

I'm relatively new to BSNY, but I am familiar with the super-hip bike messenger look since they can be seen outside the building where I work on a daily basis. I do smurk when I see a top-tube pad now and I owe that all to you! (I guess top-tube pads are still cool here in Denver.)

After reading today's post I went to craigs denver and looked up fixed gear and was surprised, amused, revolted, and a little sad. The fixie scene is alive in well in the mile high city!

Check out this ad, the fixies are going after each other - or someone is starting a BSMHC...

http://denver.craigslist.org/bik/571907415.html

Commiecanuk said...

Anonymous said...
You know motorcycles are not cool anymore when bikers have more money than brains...


dude.. I just got back from Cali, and there are a hell of a lot of fat, sloppy, middle aged men on $12,000+ bicycles.
If motorcycles are uncool, then we really are the Urkles of the sporting world.

Anonymous said...

I don't know which comments are wierder....bikegonewild or leroy's

Anonymous said...

(January 13, 1970 – February 14, 2004)

Brady said...

That post is an instant classic of snobbery.

Anonymous said...

COMMIECANUK:

Great quote dude. That book is so dope!

And this CL post is so over-the-top retarded! Good find BSNYC.

Anonymous said...

Anon 3.21,

Leroy wins, hands down. I'm going to take that 'Fuck Mavic' logo and paste Leroy's name in there. Booyah.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to share this little gem in case anyone needs to unload some hot items. Who needs pawn shops when you have craigslist?

"I have many items I can trade for a high end road bike. Jewelry, tools, electronics, other bikes, firearms, ect.
Thanks,
Bill"
saltlakecity.craigslist.org/bik/571783746.html

John said...

Why are we mocking Kevin's plaintive cry for help? Aren't we better than that?

Mike N. said...

I'm somewhat disappointed, BSNYC, that you didn't chastise Kevin on his use of "weather."
Quoth Kevin:
"I've been asked a million times weather I'd sell my Mavic TT bars and I always said no.. "
While you lay into him--quite deservedly, I might add--for the severely fragmented statement in the post's title, you overlook his failure to use the word "whether." I suppose your oversight in this case is understandable; Kevin did provide plenty of material for you to work with.

bikemojo said...

Anon 4:34, did you read some of bikesgonewilds 'midnight' posts? he posted then deleted, what a creepe.

Anonymous said...

Quoting K-FED

"Price is firm due to the fact that they are rare, everyone wants them, and I've even had people offer me way more for them."

Why do we see this on every CL? or you get the I see these going on ebay for 10 times what they are asking, but I want to sell them local so the price is firm.

What that means is I overprice my garbage and you should be gullible to pay my high price

Anonymous said...

@ mike n: who gives a shit? fag

Anonymous said...

SnobsList! Kewl.

I'm celling this post. $75 firm.

Aw, not really. Just being factitious.

Wait -- I forgot:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Golzy said...

+1 to Mike N. I was wondering weather or not anyone else noticed it... By the way, how's the whether in NYC?

Andy Pandy said...

I admire the level of committment that Kev displays when he even gets his wall to match his tattoos. Clearly an interior decorator

Anonymous said...

Kev's still got a couple of empty spots for a bit of doodling. More ink on hime than a retard in a pen factory.

Pinchfinger said...

Zasu Pits!
1) Weather..dumbshit...whether.
2) "Pleeeze"...reminds me of Roger Rabbit: Pleeeeeeze, Eddie!"
3) kevins cool ride...his cool tide raises all of our boats. Thanks, pal.
4) Note: Another dis-embodied hand! Is it a fad or a cult ?
5) So the guy is going all black/...but, wait, the bars ARE black.
6) OK. Enough is enough.
Happy VD Day, everyone.
143

Anonymous said...

I hate every fixed gear rider in columbus.. because nine times out of ten they are carbon copies of our little friend Kevo. I hope he won't forget to keep his key's on the outside of his girl pants on a lanyard like everyone else. :)

Anna said...

anon 7:53 ... it's called a carabiner, and i can almost guarantee kevin has one. i mean, i have one....

Yellowburd said...

I heard David Cross' voice in my head as I read and laughed, but I gotta know...... whats wrong with Mavic?

Anonymous said...

carabiner? ay caramba!

Anonymous said...

A carabiner...Oh gosh! I have one, too.
It's hanging right here off of me. Oh!

Anonymous said...

And there are things atached to it. Oh!

Jim said...

earmarked refers to public money set aside for an individuals own prerogative

Not necessarily. You're talking about "pork" there. "Earmarks" can also refer to a fairly innocent budget line that Congress declares can be used only for one particular purpose - for instance the prosecution of people who sell outrageously priced crap components on CL. If money was earmarked for that noble purpose, it couldn't be re-programmed into other worthy causes, like declaring war on the Evil Empire, which is comprised of NittoStan, Thisbikeisfastnia, and Belgium.

On an unrelated note... is it a little bit hella vibe in here today, or is it just me?

Anonymous said...

Lampre in the TdF

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/rnr/574089452.html

Anonymous said...

And here's a stem to go with it:

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/bik/574018114.html

$65 for an old Nitto stem that I have to go pick up in Queens? Sheesh.

knicksdefense said...

bikesnob,

Your excellent posts are too frequent for me to know if you've covered this, but did you see this one yet?


spin magazine toyota bike polo ad top right corner

in case said polo ad doesn't come up


i don't play bike polo, but I don't think this is how they get there when they do. something tells me they ride their bikes there, maybe i'm off.

so toyota is doing not just one bike polo ad for their mammoth suv's, but a series of ads. kind of like the tv ads with the obnoxious dude that lived for a month in his "next generation nissan sentra" with oranger playing in the background. somewhere, among the ad execs on madison ave, someone thinks they're enlightening the suburban universe with the bike culture they encounter on their walk from the N/W train.

by the way, dead meadow (from the spin magazine review) is a great band.

Anonymous said...

Yes, the bike polo ad was covered already, a week or two back.

emily said...

bsnyc-i think i love you!

Anonymous said...

Don't forget, Kevin has been asked a million times "weather" he'll sell the bars. He's so cool that he didn't finish 6th grade. Plus, he loves the all black look. I think I saw him on Cashmere Mafia last week.

cloverfield said...

i wrap my dick with bar tape when im drunk

Anonymous said...

Hey, Denver! Thank you very much for posting that craigslist add, I must have overlooked it in my recent craigslist browse. Funny stuff. I am wondering if I have been to your building as I am a messenger here. No top tube pads have ever been installed on my bikes. Not even as a joke.

Anonymous said...

how about this one from Vancouver's craigslist. http://vancouver.craigslist.ca/bik/577472856.html

david said...

If you ask me "Going with all black parts on my build" is hardly a valid reason for selling his black bars.

Anonymous said...

David.
Adjust your computer screen or go see an eye doctor because Mavic TT bars are gray. Not black.

punkinpants said...

Bike Snob, I started reading your blog while on a cycling team training trip and I think that this is by far one of the best blogs I have read by any one. You are amazing.

ryan said...

Huh, looks just like the bars I got at a local swap meet for $5. Though mine had obviously been severely devalued by the previous owner's application of bar tape. Despite my hours of effort to correct this, I fear my Mavic TT bars will never be quite right.

visitordesign said...

i think the mavic bars on my yamaguchi came from the same tattooed arm.

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Runescape Gold said...

Effectively completed, BSNYC. I am hoping Kevin is actually questioning just about all their existence decisions at this time. Perhaps he will just impale herself upon his / her tavern ends and help save the entire world one more jackass.

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