Could it be? The culmination of all I've been looking for this past year? A pie-plate on a fixed-gear?!? I screeched to a halt, skidding so dramatically that the many fixsters who had assembled to catch a glimpse of The Chef from "South Park" gasped in appreciation. I whipped out my cardboard disposable from the pocket of my Primal jersey (I happened to be wearing the Mr. Mojo Risin') and fired off a shot, only to realize that, alas, it was a freewheel:
It was difficult to mask my disappointment. A few fixters came over to console me, but I angrily waved them away, wiped the snot bubble off my nose with my Mr. Mojo Risin' jersey, hopped on my bike, and rode away.
The more I think about it, though, the more appropriate it is that I was denied. (Also, Stevil Kinevil made me feel better by posting my Boonen art today.) My quest for the elusive FGPP may be quixotic, but in many ways it's what keeps me going. Had I found one months ago it's very possible I wouldn't be sitting here still typing on my one-year birthday.
In real life, I don't celebrate my birthday. Firstly, I don't like drawing attention to myself, and secondly I see no point in celebrating something I took no part in. (Trust me, if I had any say in the circumstances surrounding my conception and birth I'd have done a lot of things differently.) This is the same reason I don't post pictures of my bikes. I mean, all I did was take a bunch of parts and bolt them together. Sure, if I'd fabricated the frame, or been given some special custom-painted one because I'd won a jersey in a Grand Tour or something, I might be tempted to beam about it. Otherwise, though, big deal. Ride it, maintain it, get over it.
But the birthday of this blog is different. That I have no problem celebrating. For better or worse, I made this whole thing myself. So, like it or not, I'm going to indulge myself on my special day and take some time to reflect. Hey, it's my birthday! If you don't like it, go read something else and come back next week. And if you're reading this blog for the first time today, this is probably not the post you want to start with. Anyway, here are a few milestones in the life of this blog:
First Post
Ah yes, I remember it like it was one year ago: my first post. It didn't really occur to me at the time that I was actually starting a blog or that anyone might actually read it. But I kept doing it for reasons that were unclear to me and people actually did start reading it somehow. Not too long after that first post I discovered I'd been mentioned by Drunkcyclist. (Thank you, Big Jonny.) Comments started appearing. A friend emailed me and asked, "Did you start a blog?" I felt like some idiot who'd just started his first road race and suddenly found himself off the front. So I did what any idiot would do, and that is I kept my head down and pedaled my ass off.
First Post To Receive Over 100 Comments
In August last year I posted a spoof road bike review. I never really know how people will react to a post, and this one was no exception. But I realized after I did that it was getting a stronger reaction than pretty much anything I'd written until then. Lots of people seemed to be linking to it, and even now it's still the most-viewed post on this blog. In fact, it brought me to the attention of Bicycling magazine, which resulted in the infamous interview and the picture that may or may not be of me. I learned a valuable lesson from that post, which is that the best way to get positive attention from people is to ridicule them mercilessly. This pattern has since repeated itself, but it only seems to work with the blog. People don't like being ridiculed in person. (By the way, some of those 100+ comments seem to be from spambots, but whatever.)
Top Three Posts In Terms of Number of Comments
I don't read very many blogs, but on the ones I do read I notice that there are a lot of crap comments. Pardon me for being graphic, but if those other blogs were bushes then the comments would be pubic lice. This blog's a different story, though. This blog gets good comments. It's more like a bar with a great clientele. Sure, the odd douchebag slips in, but overall it's a great scene and I've never had to bounce anybody. So, since the commenters are a big part of what makes this blog, I'd like to look at the top three posts in terms of comment volume:
#3: The Post About the Stupid Times Blog (196)
This one's a recent one, but it caused quite a stir. By the way, with like 24 days to go Robert Mackey has discovered the wonderful world of penile numbness. That's why maybe you, uh, gain some experience as a cyclist before deciding to ride the Tour de France. Putz.
#2: The Bike Move Orgy of Smugness (213)
Who could forget that plucky, gleeful bunch of self-satisfied eco-nerds? Watch out--gentrification is coming to your town, and it's coming by bicycle! (And it's also wearing a Cone of Smugness on its head.)
#1: The Death Adders Cycling Team (214)
It's somehow fitting that Prolly and his crew should take the win by a tire. It's also strange to look at that post because I had a severe fever at the time and had to lie down like every third sentence. I'm actually surprised it's coherent. Fixed gear fever--catch it! (And I caught it all right.)
All right, this whole thing is starting to reek of a flashback episode. There are many, many things I'd like to continue to revel in, but I better cool down before I overheat and jump the shark. I just want to say that I'm really grateful to all the regular readers and commenters. There are some especially funny commenters out there (verbally and visually). I don't want to single anybody out, but those of you who read regularly know who they are. I'm also grateful to anybody and everybody who takes the time to email me anything (even if I don't write back) and for some of the people I've met both in person and via email through writing this blog. I know this all sound pretty sentimental and gushy. Trust me, I'm still as bitter a person as you'll find drunk in a Dumpster on any given night. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't find writing this blog very rewarding.
Oh, and finally, while I'm still in self-congratulatory birthday mode (hey, it's my gift to myself), if you're one of those people who's wondered who I am and how I do this every day, the answer is that I'm a good fucking writer. If your endeavor requires one you know where to find me.
Thanks as always for reading everybody. If you feel like celebrating this weekend, please have a drink or two for me tonight, and at some time this weekend make sure you take a good ride. I'll be there in spirit.
Ride safe,
--BSNYC
275 comments:
1 – 200 of 275 Newer› Newest»Only losers race to be first
Happy birthday BSNYC
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BSNYC! you stood me up.
I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
Happy birthday, good luck in the Harlem Crit.
By the way, i took a look at some cedar rapids property yesterday, and im not sure you should move there. wet pussy everywhere.
Happy Birthday. Happy happy soy soy.
Happy Birthday BSNYC
Happy Top Ten to me
I'm underwhelmed to be in the top ten. However, happy birthday!!
Happy Cromoly aniversary (four more years to Aluminum!), and many snide returns.
I think you might have hit on a new banner text for the blog:
Ride it, maintain it, get over it.
The triathlon of snobbery...
We're not worthy!
first of the chase group.
Happy b-day bsnyc/rtms. eric k, link busted?
Hey snob happy blog birthday, after yesterdays post I've decided to jump on the one less bandwagon with OLSC (One Less Smart Car)
Props to the GFW sign off. Little mushy....tho....(sniff, sniff) Kain't hav non'o dat =) Otherwise gitchur ass drunk...and have a safe time. C.P.
Erik K,
Awesome.
--BSNYC
Oh oh.... Almost forgot! Chest bump, with ensuing beer slosh: RAWR!
Sheesh if you'd given us more warning we could have all chipped in for three pack of merino wool socks from Rapha . . . three pair for just $54.00!
You said you hate 650c wheels in your Bicycling interview. Do you really hate people who are short?
Happy Birthday, Snob, you're the next best thing to actually riding.
Happy B-Day RTMS,
Keep fighting the good fight. Godspeed, good sir.
-d
Congratulations on one year of snark.
1. Year in rebuke post
2. Top three list
3. Sentimental
Shark Jumping Index (SJI) is at an all time high, probably not as high as Boonen though.
You're a good fucking writer, fo' sho'! Happy Blogday, BSNYC/RTMS. Thanks for unleashing your hilarious mockery of twits, twats, and twaddle.
A
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
you're the best.
i seriously doubt you know this but sometimes girls have issues with tampon strings on their rides... after a couple of miles there is a bit of discomfort... not chaffing, that would be terrible. but, um, you know that string is there- okay, sometimes you have to adjust it so there's no chaffing... (otherwise it feels pretty invisible.) anyway, on my ride home tonight- i will dedicate that sensation to you bikesnob... to you. happy birthday. armed with this knowledge i'm sure you'll enjoy it just a little bit more.
j
One year and not a weak post in the bunch. Thanks for the daily laughs and keep 'em coming. Please
Yay! No, really.
Happy Birf-day RTMS/BSNYC!
My present to you is the knowledge that your flashback montage made my nipples tingle.
Love,
tits
Hey Snob,
Happy B-Day to your blog. It is an understatement to say it has brought many a belly laugh to an otherwise unfunny day.
The RTMS/Erik K collaboration is a cultural phenomenon.
Here's to one more year: hip-hip hooray.
Happy Birthday Snobby
shit...screw the birthday...I wanna hear more about that tampon string stuff....
Happy birfday. You are the inspiration to us all to continually mock everyone openly.
Happy birthday snob,
Thanks again for giving my site all this great traffic.
In other news: As of 4pm today I'm unemployed. When you guys are done here be sure and go over to the OTSG and click on some of my adwords so my family and I don't starve.
Thanks again for a great year snobo!
How many more do you have in ya?
Only a year? I thought snark this good took longer than that to develop. Perhaps nobody knows ewho you are b/c you scared off all your friends by doing this in person? I'm speaking from experience.
Best post, still:
To put it simply, this bike climbs like a squirrel, descends like a greased squirrel on a luge, corners like a decagon, and accelerates like a methamphetamine-addicted rabbit.
Keep up the great work.
A year? In metric that's like 1.2 decamonths or something, right? Happy Birthday and let's hope you still have a long way to go before Fuckitday - the day you finally pack it in. Oh, it'll happen all right. One day you're blogging like stink and then all of a sudden your penis goes numb and you have to start writing for the NY Times. Until then...
Look forward to your posts each day. Many thanks for the humor and also legitimate insight into the bike scene in NY and other urban areas by extension.
Will think of you while suffering on tomorrow morning's ride, though not even remotely in the way j describes.
Happy Birthday from Germany. As you love to use a small amount of German words in your blog like Zeitgeist, Ersatz et cetera, here’s my present: Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!
Happy Birthday BSNYC, a light in the darkness.
It isn't just anybody's tampon string. Jamie's tampon string. Dreamy
Anon 1:06 thats just f'n creepy
You and Big Jonny rock my freewheeled world.
Happy Bbay snob, even though you never respond to any of my comments, I salute you and my favorite lunch time activity.
Polygraf,
Thank you, Polygraf!
--BSNYC
Happy Birthday Fonzie.. keep it comin' for at least another year, or until fixies and hipsters go extinct.
Happy Birthday Snob, and many more, yada, yada.
And fellow posters, I just went back and read the historic Post Number One, and I notice that Commenter Number One, Will, actually commented on the post - without claiming 'first', 'Boonen', or any such foolishness. Imagine, the first BSNYC poster EVER, didn't even claim the honor. I think we all have a role model here.
how funny you mentioned tampon strings! Here's to you BiKeSnOb!
Happy Birthday BSNYC! Thanks for helping me "laugh my way to health" and for the marvelous "Seal of Disapproval" stickers and buttons.
...you, sir, are a **fucking gem**...
...in a blogosphere full of good, bad, indifferent, lousy & back to great, even, blogsites, the amazing effort you put into bsnyc/rtms shows as truly stand-out...
...& the interaction you stir up from hard driving off the front riders, middle of the pack dwellers to the anon back of the bunch cuz they think it's safer there & all the way to the last straggling, just tryin' to make the cut lanterne rouge, on a daily basis is quite fucking phenomenal...
...be it cheap beer or dom perignon, bsnyc/rtms, a toast to your birthday on an auspicious day...& again, you're a fucking gem in an richly struck vein...
WOOO HOOOO Victory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy bday BSNYC, don't worry, your true identity is safe with me.
as for BSNYC...
"I know him pretty well and he's a solid dude and has been riding bikes for a long, long time for whatever thats worth."
as for BSNYC...
"I know him pretty well and he's a solid dude and has been riding bikes for a long, long time for whatever thats worth."
as for prolly...
You're still a douchebag.
Happy Birthday, Snob! You are truly the Aerospoke of bloggers!
Birthday?
Check it out
Hopefully the passage of the coming year will see the hipsters moving on to something else, leaving cycling to those of us who appreciate the beauty of having a wad of chamois jammed up their ass.
Anonymous 12:15--get the chip off your shoulder. Just because you're short, doesn't mean you have to stoop to using 650c wheels. In fact, it means you probably don't have to stoop at all.
So polygraf "salutes you and his favorite lunch time activity"-masturbating.
I guess the 2 go hand in hand. Happy B-day Snobby!
Happy Ersatz Zeitgeist and Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!
B-Maree 1:32
I'm now waiting for the RTMS/TS.
I'm wating.
BTW....ComentoDex....Is this post gonna break the 1k Barrier?
as for prolly...
"We don't have a clue who he is, but as far as we can tell he is definitely giving a bad name to people that have been riding fixed gears for a long, long time for whatever thats worth."
(Derrr)
"Com-mento"
What I think is most amazing is that you can make these great posts every weekday. It's like the Tour de France of blogging. How do you have the time?
wait, really prolly and fake prolly right next to eachother .... I'm all confused again. why are you imitating prolly? you too can sprocket grind if you so desire.
happy bday snob. i have a love/hate relationship with your online persona. love.
Wish I'd known about your birthday ahead of time. Who'd have thought those anodized titanium pie plates would be back ordered?
You've taken the quality of endless bicycle crap drivel to a new level.
btw...
When was the first, ...uuhm, whatdoyocalit? Pixelated prime.
I take offence to your use of the term “odd douchebag.”
Happy Birthday, Snob! Keep 'em coming. It's hard to find really good bitterness out here in the hinterlands, so it's great to be able to import it straight from the factory.
I have a scrotum
The "Butchering the Hellride (Bring it on!)" video is priceless! LOL!!! Go Kristen Butcher! Thanks Snob for the laughs!
Amir wishes upon you a happy blogbirthday. I celebrate you with a weekend of bike dating in the central park. Look for the Amir, ladies.
happy b-day! you are always on my rides with me. * hehe * even if im
on the wessst coast. ;)
peace!
Snob,I don't want to sound like a mushy bucket of man-love, but I just wanted to say that visiting this site and diving headfirst into the soup is always a high point in my day. You are a truly gifted writer with an endless wellspring of material. I thank you for the hours of free entertainment, which, by the way, consistently outshines the entertainment for which I actually shell out cash. Who could ask for a better group of faceless, anonymous friends than the regular commentators? By the way, I couldn't help but notice that the first comment took TWO DAYS to post! What an epic stage that must have been for the podium racers. Here's to another year. A toast to our host. And we now return you to our regularly-scheduled programming.
Tonight I was planning to have a beer (or ten) anyway, but now I'll drink to you Bike Snob.
Thanks, too, for not censoring posts. Make the slightest critical remark on Prolly's blog, and he won't publish it. As much as I like the alliteration, I hate Fascist Fixed-gear Freestylers!
Happy Bday BSNY. I can't believe this blog is only a year old.
happy birthday big guy!
we'll be hoisting beers in your name over at www.velocipedesalon.com - y'all are welcome to stop by. join or lurk, either is fine.
i'll buy a shot
You've taken the quality of endless bicycle crap drivel to a new level.
btw...
When was the first, ...uuhm, whatdoyocalit? Pixelated prime.
Mr. C 2:12
I'd s'pose Mr. BS has it buried some where in the "crap drivel"..just waiting 4u..go blog racer go blog racer go...(vomit/hurl)
happy b-day - keep it bitter!!!
**This is the same reason I don't post pictures of my bikes. I mean, all I did was take a bunch of parts and bolt them together.**
Agreed...but if you take a hack saw to your alloy Sakae drops then you are expressing your individuality and you really should send a picture to Dennis.
Hey!!!
ROCK RACING JUST SPOTTED IN CP! Everyone get out there and JOIST THEM!!!!!!!
Knockem down and I'll chainring grind on their foreheads while listening to Frost!
Happy first birthday BSNYC!
JUST FOR YOU I'M GONNA PUT A PIE PLATE ON MY PISTA AND SEND YOU A PIC!
Happy Birthday Snobby!
Mwah! (big birthday kiss-- w/tongue since I saw that Bicycling pic of you rocking the hot bod.)
Mackey hasn't actually discovered the "world of penile numbness." Not first hand, anyway, though he is experiencing foot-numbness.
Is this a common problem with an obvious solution — perhaps a change in cleat placement or brand of shoes? — or something that everyone just learns to live with?
"the answer is that I'm a good fucking writer"
FUCKIN' A SNOBBY!!
Happy b-day, snob. You crotchety bastard!
To Anon 12:37, aka "j.":
Get thyself a menstrual cup!
I've never had any problems with mine while biking.
I'm a spambot
Prolly,
JOIST? Does that mean I should bash them over the head with a 2x10 dropped from a story above? I've heard you are a solid dude and have been riding bikes for a long, long time for whatever thats worth. . .
SquiZZ??
Thanks for the 11 months of reading, or however long ago it was that Jim shared you with his readers.
You are a GREAT fucking writer.
For the fake prolly wonderers, Prolly made the For what it's worth comment in defence of some dud a couple of months ago. I still chuckle every time I read a fake prolly post though.
And another thing...I always enjoy the ersatz, erstwhile attempts to "unmask" your true identity. I am sure that dozens of people must actually know, and they are to be commended for their discretion in keeping your secret. It can't be that hard, really, to track you down. Wouldn't slipping a c-note to the guy who runs the "blogspot.com" part about do it? I am surprised that the NY Times has not put a crack investigative reporter on the task in retribution for skewering their TdF blogger. Keep dropping inadvertant clues, we'll figure it out eventually.
Sonia, too much information.
Sonja,
What the hell happens when you pull that thing out? Reminds me of the joke about the monkey with a cork up his butt.
Just wonderin'
Top 100!!
Happy Blogday.
-Jimmy
Happy Birthday, RTMS.
BSNYC/RTMS
A Freilekhn Gebortstog!
And yes, you are a good fucking writer. Any cone of smugness wearing porta-potty putz that says otherwise is loyz schmuck.
Here pick out one of these, it will make you feel b?tter.
Wow. Zero Down and No Payments for the First Year?
The best things in life are free.
Thanks, Snob.
BTW, it's been great commenting regularly here for a year. For my fellow commenters, please keep those rants about proper spacing of elipses, how lame Prolly is, and the canned hams coming. Matter of fact you can cut out the other stuff as long as you keep sending me a canned ham every week. Can't tell you guys how much I look forward to getting a canned ham every Monday morning. It's my favorite food in the world other than canned bacon.
As for Mr. Mackey, somebody tell him that what he needs to cure the numbness is either a noseless seat, or to rub one out once an hour, every waking hour. Either he'll get the noseless seat and crash f***in' hard (because you have nearly zero cornering ability with those things) or his wife will totally freak out and leave him forthwith. Either way it should eliminate bikes from his NYT blogging.
Oh yeah, and what's up with the NYT reporters blogging? Isn't that a bit of inappropriate slumming for that level of society, kind of like if your grandad called you up and asked where he could score some roofies and some X?
I don't know what Sonja does with hers, but I empty my "keeper" (menstrual cup) in the garden. It fertilizes the flowers.
Happy birthday, Bike Snob!
100! Happy Birthday Snob!
Actually, at this point I just come here to see erik k's photoshop comix, but happy birthday sir snob.
(kidding)
xooxo
"...I'm a good fucking writer. If your endeavor requires one you know where to find me."
so this whole year has been one long advertisement for your writing services? i feel so...spammed. this is lonelygirl15 all over again, without the inapprpriate fantasies.
wait... that's what the Fake Prolly's were talking about? I really don't even remember saying that. Thanks for clearing that up.
Happy Birthday, from a loyal lurker...
para-hippie's got it.
"good fucking writer" is, whatever snob's protestations, not meant ironic. And so what? BSNYC(tm) could do a Boonen on me and I'd still pay my subscriptions dues.
"this is lonelygirl15 all over again, without the inapprpriate fantasies."
Whaddya mean, "without"?
Dear BSNYC/RTMS:
Happy Birthday/Blogday !
You write good, you really do !
http://popwatch.ew.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/05/10/ricardo_l.jpg
----R.M.
sd, do you remember what "dud" it was? was it about that guy with the pink fanny pack from king kog? I also am trying to remember this.
Here is my gift to you
anon (#2) @ 3:28
Sorry, you're 101. Lost by a Schwalbe!
Happy Birthday !
http://popwatch.ew.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/05/10/ricardo_l.jpg
At the end of the day, happy birthday, ya want a pie plate with that?
pepe,
how the f< is 'et cetera' a German word? While I admit it sounds really good with a German accent, it looks like a latin word, sounds like a latin word and golly, it IS a latin word.
Frieden
un ami de langue latine aka Stückscheißekönig der Scheiße Insel
Amir 2:22-
The restraining order still stands.
A
A 4:26 speak fer yer self....
Amir, I'm yours baby!
Everyone else Take a number
RTMS,
Happy blogday and love the blog. Read it after my noon ride, when I'm back at my desk to eat lunch while I ostensively work, but instead check the post.
Favorite post: Pass/Fail Racing.
As a tech writing, masters racer who finishes mid-pack (training or not), I'm down with the concept.
Come to Norcal sometime for the riding. It'd be worth the trip and there's plenty out here to snark on about.
BSNYC -- Happy Birthday and thank you for a very funny and informative year!
With all the love in the comments section, I'm getting a little choked up.
So just to insure that I'm not getting soft, I clicked on the link to Robert Mackey's blog about penile numbness and training to ride a stage of the TDF.
Well color me surprised!
Mr. Mackey reports that he engaged in Endurance Training yesterday -- two laps around Central Park.
What a coincidence!
I got up a little earlier this morning so I could add 3 quick laps around the Park to my commute.
I thought that was called a "short ride because the weather was nice." Who knew it was also endurance training?
In fairness to Mr. Mackey, though, my average speed was only 16 mph. I had to slow down three times for the ticket trap on the West Side of the Park and lost a little momentum in the traffic from Brooklyn. (Honestly, I bet Lance never had to contend with that.)
Nonetheless, I'm beginning to think that if I weren't in serious training for the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest next month, I might give Mr. Mackey a run for his money.
And then, Lawrence Orbach: look out!
But I digress.
Happy Birthday BSNYC!
Great post. I love the blog. It's part of my daily routine to read your posts. I especially love when I realize that you're negatively describing something that I do. Regardless, happy blog birthday I'll dedicate a weekend ride to your honor! Keep up the great work!
Oh and if you ever need any illustrations or graphics...www.thomglick.com www.thomglick.blogspot.com
Happly Birshday Mr. Shnob,
I'll be drinking a few more beers in your honour!
Always a pleasure. Many thanks for a great year.
Happy Birthday BSNYC!
I'd buy you some flowers, but Bob Fuller seems to have dropped the cyclist for the jogger. What a snob he is!
Who knows, maybe with the recent increase in biker deaths around my hometown, he just ran out!
Wishing you a happy second year!
Viva La Snob!
Errr, dude.
I don't know. Maybe it was the fake Prolly all along. I thought he defended some tall bike rider, or bike polo player or some shit.
Have a great weekend.
Feliz cumpleanos, Snob. My all time favorite post was your hoodie review. I still laugh out loud when I read that one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_yjdPPQFI0
I don't suppose you'd care to tell me what kind of handlebars are on the bike that you/not you are straddling in the Bicycling article?
Schorsch,
Whoever it is, he's using dirt drops.
--BSNYC
Thought so. He at least has good taste in handlebars...
as for BSNYC...
"I know him pretty well and he's a sarcastic dude and has been writing a blog for a long, long year for whatever thats worth."
Snob,
Here's a birthday gift from the Mile High City. Witness the result of the spelling program in our public schools.
hurry, this one won't last.
...man oh man...or rather women oh women...the estrogen count is WAY up today...
...j...hope yer not stringing us along...
...ti(*)(*)ies...always nice that you share your presents, whoops, presence w/ us all...
...roomservicetaco...you should pull some strings & ride w/ j...
...bloody mary...i raise my cup in good cheer...
...frilly, baby watch where you put that thing...nyc is a nasty, dirty town...
...sonia...thanks for sharin'...yer writing has an indelible flow to it...
...judi...dammit, woman...you should be here more often (hey, no joke)...
...anon 3:28pm...do you grow daisies in yer garden ???...i have a friend who likes daisies...
...annazed...are you sharing hugs & kisses w/ snob or a cup of bullion...
...& finally amir...it'd only be if we were all in jail together, but ya dude, yer pretty enough to be our jailhouse blog bitch, ok...
...post script: "at the end of the day" there's no point in mentioning the highly used term "douchebag" because that reference inevitably leads to one of us guys...
Mazel tov, bubbe.
the whole fake prolly quote came from
here.
the best part is that it was an ANON quote sandwiched between two brilliant real(fake) prolly quotes from 4:12 to 4:15!
This blog gets good comments. It's more like a bar with a great clientele.
I'm now picturing this bar: it's exceptionally long and narrow. About a hundred derelicts are sitting on barstools in a long row. The bartender tells them a story and then, starting with the guy farthest from the door, they each speak a few sentences (usually tangentially related to the bartender's story) and then sit in silence as the next guy speaks, and the next, and so on until the guy closest to the door says something like "Amir loves you, baby" and they all file out Then they return the next morning around nine.
...covered in their own semen, feces and vomit...and then posted on your blog, "cum again."
...ya, daniel...but the podium wannabes are waiting at the front door of that bar, from when they wake up at dawn next to a fents...
...no porta-party-potties w/ cones of smugness in that part a town...
...then we all file in for our daily absolutions...
Anon 6:29 --
Okay, so we don't know what you're doing this weekend, but thanks for sharing how your weekend ends.
Ride safe.
You surely don't want to add road rash to that list.
Anon 6:29 --
On second thought ....
Mr. Ball? Is that you?
Are you riding Harlem Rocks this weekend?
Oh, yes, long-time commenters,
Please use this anniversary moment to highlight and advertise yourselves and all of your responsive glory.
We Anon are so very impressed.
Thanks for the writing, Mr. Snob.
I'm a solid dude and I've been buying bikes for a long long time and at the end of the day it's all about publicity and I'm told this blog mentions Rock Racing pretty often and so (what's this guy's name? Somebody find out quick!) uh I'd like to personally thank the (What? What the...?
Prolly just quit Mishka to sign to the Rock Racing team where he will be in charge of bastardizing yet another realm of cycling...
So where did you want these Electric Red Deep-V I got for???
danie! & leroy--funny stuff, both of you.
bgw--can't be sausages all day every day, it'd be a tad boring, don'tcha think?
...please, frilly...i'm curbing my tongue in a cone of smugness so that anon 6:38pm can feel like he's accomplished something righteous...
...he or she brought cake to the party & doesn't think 'some of us' are acting formal enough for the occasion...
...excuse the fuck outa me...
C.P. 2:34
Hey, I have the snob that thank for teaching me the mad skilz of out-sprinting my wife!
It's been my pleasure.
I estimate that BSNYC saved me $8,952.93 in useless bike parts last year.
Daniel!,
You also forgot the dozens (maybe less, maybe more) of us who wander in and mill around listening, never speaking a word...
Pardons, bgw, it was not directed at you—
But "he or she" brought a flask to the party, is a little liquored up, and just does not want to suffer undeserved self-congratulatory or promotional twaddle.
Snob’s congratulations are deserved.
Wait. I'll just drink more and drunkenly express my love for all. Let’s all get righteous. Ah, booze.
Douchely yours,
Anon
Oh, yes, long-time commenters,
Please use this anniversary moment to highlight and advertise yourselves and all of your responsive glory.
Yeah! It's like we're shitting on the flag... An "anniversary moment" like this is a solemn occasion, like a human sacrifice. You guys make me sick, exhibiting the very behavior that BSNYC praised in the entry we're all commenting on.
Daniel!
I thoroughly enjoyed your description our little watering hole here.
Sonia and others,
How did we get on the topic of tampon strings an menstrual cups? What did I miss?
Also...
Thanks to all of you kind clickers out there, I've collected a whopping $8.14 in Adword commissions so far today. Every bit helps:)
Hey Snobby as usual, spot on my man, spot on!!! Happy BLOGDAY!! May all your post smite the craig's list freaks, ROCK ON BROTHER!
Nope. Missed the point, Daniel.
Hmmm...Was the praise to those who write to tell how long they've been commenting or simply to advertise their own website/blog? I think the praise goes to contributors.
And, c'mon, what's a bar without a fight?
Pugnaciously yours,
Anon.
And, c'mon, what's a bar without a fight?
Union Pool.
Ha. See. There, again. You continue to contribute. So, venom not directed at you, daniel! (or bgw).
(Yes, I do not contribute but at least I do not advertise. Sigh. Venom directed at self & others).
As I go from fightin' drunk to head-on-bar-passed-out, I'm muttering "can't we all just get along...woogie, woogie..."
Anon.
How's the curse working out for you?
...ok, ok...lets all put down the gloves...cuz...yep, that's right...
...IT'S TIME FOR A GROUP HUG !!!...time to celebrate this puppy's one year old full & vibrant life after it rose out of some form of mental cycling afterbirth, to go on & grow & reach beyond the old set standards...
...bsnyc/rtms...you get in the middle & we'll all surround you w/ big warms...here, lemme get in here & get my arms around both frilly & gosh, maybe j...& dammit, amir, stop fucking rubbing up like that...
...sheesh...
happy birthday snob.
also,
anyone care to tally today's leroydex? its gotta be up there...
Happy Birthday!
another great comment, jonathan. thanks.
techb3:
the pleasure is all mine.
i enjoyed yr BSNYC no-show blog post, btw. thanks.
;)
un ami de langue latine,
you are right. As you might know, "et cetera" aka "etc" is often used in German for "and so on". But what the f< does "Stückscheißekönig der Scheiße Insel" mean? Sort of dadaistic poetry?
What a year! I've been "prolly'd", Rick-Rolled, subjected to various man-love relationships (Leroy, BGW, Amir, et al), wondering about frilly, worrying about "xrideveganx", laughing at erikk, but at the end of the day, it's still BSNYC/RTMS I keep coming back for!
Pepe, I think ami de latrine just claimed he is king of shit island.
Icculus was dead right: we're not worthy. And that's not coming from me, it's coming from a guy whose name would be familiar to readers of Bicycling Magazine. After I sent him the link to the "Ball to Hed" post (my personal favorite), the aforementioned person said, "Genius. I am unworthy of Bike Snob."
Snob, we're unworthy, but we're still grateful for the laughs. Keep it up.
And rest in peace, Tim Russert.
C.P. 2:34
Hey, I have the snob that thank for teaching me the mad skilz of out-sprinting my wife!
It's been my pleasure.
Mr. C 7:19 bak-at-tcha
(Raising m'cup of C-Drivel)
Daniel! I'm guessing I'd be the tourist that's walked into the wrong bar. Mutters to self WTF! Then turns 'round to leave only to have someone sit my ass down, not letting me go until I'm good and proper drunk...and only after I've been tricked into making out with some girl with all sorts of strings and cups...I'm so..(hiccup)..confused..(kerthunk....passes out)
Buuu...rrrpppp! Oh, excuse me.
Snob,
Just another of many hearfelt congrats,from someone who really enjoys your skewering of bike "culture", but could that freewheel pie plate set up actually be welded? Back in the day before the interwebs those of us in 'drome deficient areas would sometimes weld a bmx cog,spin that thing on, and have us a fixed gear bike.With brakes of course,skidding might just spin the thing right back off.
Just sayin'.
happy blog snob! may your fgpp's be many and your pistadex be inflated by garish doofi!
Hi Norm!
Nothing new to add -- just doing my part to push the comment number to a new record of 215.
wishiwasmerckx said...
Nothing new to add -- just doing my part to push the comment number to a new record of 215.
Nice Pull
I bet I could get into the 150s if I had a carbon bike with 11 speed.
My Balls! They're like kerbangers!
Long live the original flite saddle and long live snoby!
-Nameless
Snob,
You are bike culture.
Thanks,
Me
P.S. Never pay retail
this guy shamelessly rips off bsny. The Spandex Gourd
what? the spandexed gourd you say? marvelous!
Bike shyster,
Really if you are going to be ironic and plug yourself after the bar fight/group hug let someone, even an anon, post before you plug yourself again. It looks desperate.
A quick read of your blog doesn't seem such a shameless ripoff. Topics and are much the same and there is the tone of detached disgust with hipster trends, still it ain't the same.
BSNYC's post are a defribulating heartbeat of staccato sentences seeking to skewer his targets on the gore point of his wit. Yours are of a more measured pacing laden with reason and suggested alternatives.
Reading RTMS is like watching Marco Pantani dance up the Col du Galibier. You, well, it's like Hincapie hauling his huge carcass up La Mongie. Good, but not great.
Bike Shyster,
Shame. On. Your. Itsy-Bitsy Penis Gourd!
god I just love this blog
BSNYC RTMS forever!! or at least as long as you want to.
You are very funny but also a truly serious social critic who talks about maddening things like entitled solopcistic creeps - and makes us laugh and spray food and drink all over - "bard graduates going to salon to get hands roughed up... restored Vepa etc. was priceless among many - bless you
I'm not going to lie, this post brought a tear to my eye. It's probably because I'm an emotional drunk, but maybe, just maybe I feel some strange sense of propriety for the blog I gain so much enjoyment from every morning. Thank you BSNYC/RTMS/CLYHWE
Veloben 12:43 INTHA AM! Reading RTMS is like watching Marco Pantani dance up the Col du Galibier. You, well, it's like Hincapie hauling his huge carcass up La Mongie. Good, but not great.
Yessss! Pantani! Il Elefantino always rode out of the saddle coz "his" TS was always a bother. EL Hindercappie still doesn't understand, (s)he's confused, her body is going through changes. No TS, No cup, No padding of any sort...grisly....all that and steer tubes snapping....poor gal...
But the Pantani Rawks...
"There's chaos in everyday life, and I tune into that chaos."
As Lance Armstrong reflected: 'I always thought he was more of an artist than an athlete - an extravagant figure, a Salvador Dalì. That's why people were so fond of him.'
That an he didn't let the bike culture give him a bother.
BSNYC/RTMS,
Congratulations on your one year anniversary! One of my favorite posts was your "Save the Messengers" campaign. Many, many thanks for the great entertainment.
Theresa
Happy Anniversary BSNYC! I started reading about two months ago so far I feel both amused and bettered by your venting. If you ever want to move to Portland, you and the Lady Snob can be my roommates for $600/month. I have cats, hope you don't mind.
Happy birthday BSNYC! Reading your blog is my daily treat. Keep that shark tank away!
and a pinch to grow an inch!
I drank a Beck's last night on your behalf. I hope you don't like Beck's. Happy Birthday and may a FGPP come your way soon.
As usual, I laugh in all the wrong places.
It's been a good year. Thanks.
Thanks to the Usual Suspects, too, for some excellent commentary. Even if I hate you, I appreciate your existence.
bikesnob is carl lafong
Nice recycled comment on your pull, tb3. I like WC Fields too, or are you drawing from 3 Amigos?
Are you sure that this is a long bar, and not just the complaint line at the DMV??
193 and pullin strong.
A
Happy bitter-day snob.
Congrats.
I'm out of the bar when the "I love this guy" shit starts.
As you can see snobs the writer, I just fix things.
-B
ANON,
maybe i need to post it a couple of more times for you to get it through your thick skull...i did a whois search for bikesnobnyc.com. there is no site currently running under that domain, however it has been purchased and will be valid until "JUNE 13, 2009". hmmm....that date sound familiar? at least snob is on top of his shit. it's registered under "carl lafong." better keep renewing that domain name or i'm gonna snatch it up! DO YOUR HOMEWORK ANON.
since you will probably need some help figuring it out, here is a hint
One comment closer to 215
Thanks for being around
Hope to see the RTMS edition Langster in 2009
One comment closer to 215
Thanks for being around
Hope to see the RTMS edition Langster in 2009
(S)Amir branded for rape crimes!
more here.
Techb3 June 14 @ 9:21 AM
It's Capital L. small a. Capital F. small o, small n, small g. LaFong! Carl LaFong!!
200th !!!
ALL CAPS.
CARL LAFONG.
doh!
As Lance Armstrong reflected: "I always thought he was more of an artist than an athlete - an extravagant figure, a Carl LaFong, capital L, small a, capital F, small o, small n, small g That's why people were so fond of him,-- it's a Gift, knowing him is a gift. But even If I did know him. I wouldn't admit it. That's how special he is or isn't."
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