Wednesday, February 20, 2008

This Just In: Local Boys Make "Good"

Every local Cat. 4 road racing team just got a little bit cooler.

Recently my inbox has been ablaze with the news that architect, fixed-gear freestyler, street fashion enthusiast, and architect Prolly is managing a new cycling team. In fact, some of these emails were even from people other than Prolly. The team is called D.A.R.T., which stands for something, and you can read all about them on his blog. They look like this:


This is certainly a bold (if schlubbily-attired) venture, and D.A.R.T. have their work cut out for them in the rugged, sordid, mercenary world of doing stuff together while wearing similar clothes. There are a lot of crews out there who have been doing it longer and who, quite frankly, have been throwing down harder, and I have a feeling they're not going to take it easy on the new kids on the block. Some of these OGs include:

The Goonies


The Goonies have been the crew to be reckoned with ever since they thwarted the Fratellis and saved their town from evil developers. They're disaffected yet endearing, and tough yet lovable. What's more, they were dressing like the D.A.R.T. guys before most of the D.A.R.T.s were even born. And while D.A.R.T. may have Tony Fast, the guy who's got a sense of humor about his weight, the Goonies have Lawrence "Chunk" Cohen. Careful, Tony--it'll take more than a few fakies to defeat the "Truffle Shuffle."


The Bad News Bears


When it comes to rag-tag crews of sporting misfits, nobody--but nobody--steps to the BNBs. When that little blond kid starts spewing racist invective even the toughest fixed-gear freestyler is bound to stand down. Also, there's that guy who played Kelly Leak who went on to play the pervert in the movie "Little Children." He's just creepy. And D.A.R.T.'s team manager Prolly is no match for coach Walter Matthau, whose irascibility and hard-drinking ways are bound to make Prolly's handlebar moustache do bar spins.



Real Genius


D.A.R.T. may have the brawn to stand up to those guys, but do they have the brains to stand up to the Real Genius crew? This group of prodigies at fictitious university Pacific Tech has been emboldened by the irreverent antics of their leader Val Kilmer, the coolest darn genius you'll ever meet. Granted, D.A.R.T. do have an older guy with glasses who looks kinda smart, but the RGs have been there. We all saw how they dispatched with Kent with the talking filling trick.

Whatever the outcome, this is surely a watershed moment in grass-roots fixed-gear cycling, and I for one will be on the edge of my saddle.

217 comments:

1 – 200 of 217   Newer›   Newest»
Balf said...

First!

what about the red hand gang?

Trevor said...

The Goonies comparison/picture is hilarious and uncanny!

Anonymous said...

I think you must have written this entry too quickly. It suffered a little. Still humorous, but missing some precision.

steevo said...

I would include the monster squad.

Anonymous said...

I didn't even read the post yet...how cool am I?

Anonymous said...

If you read the "team" press release, the DART cycling team seems to be less of a cycling team and more of a fashion-sponsored show group. They'll go to various events and county fairs and do tricks and the people there will want to buy the sponsor's products. Really, like a Oscar Meyer Weiner-mobile for cycling. Mmmmm, hot dog.

rmckittr said...

I guess my question for Prolly is: "Who the F^^^ cares?"

Anonymous said...

I can bunny hop a fixie and have access to an urban wear shop, can I be on the team too?

Anonymous said...

Lemme guess... Douches Are Riders Too.

Anonymous said...

ahem... nu rave meets fabulous five (wiki that) meets fixed

Anonymous said...

Is Luke Stiles the Bike Snob?

Anonymous said...

Christ, those playing cards on the prolly site (oops I mean "Rider Profiles") could not be more dorky.

crispy said...

My God, please tell me this is a joke!? It embarrasses me to be the same species as the people who came up with this.

Pagina Vilot said...

uhhhh...why not just ride a bmx? unoriginal bastards.

Aaron said...

Laslow could totally whoop Prolly in a throwdown.

Anonymous said...

I think this is a hoax, or at least I hope so. If not, then Prolly is an even bigger douchebag that I thought he was last week.

Anonymous said...

Nothing strikes fear in the hearts of little children at the park better than 16-bit game boss references and Russian language. Here's some more '90s for ya... "POSEURS!" Looks like you got yourself whole a team dedicated to it. If the start wrapping their arms in duct tape before big "races" you'd better duck and cover.

Anonymous said...

I thought a "Road and Track Cycling Team" would race on the road and on the track.

Anonymous said...

beachboys count?

they hella rocked.

Anonymous said...

I'm not a huge Prolly fan and I think this is all sort of laugable, but I still think that this is a Big Fucking Deal. You should all recognize this.

Poppy said...

I rather doubt Prolly's "business is killing" save for his videogame forays and the occasional shout of "I killed it bro" when pulling off some insipid freestyle trick. Frankly it looks like a bunch of twenty-something losers looking to pimp their urban wear.
Death Adders?
Could you possibly find a name that bespeaks not only stupidity, but is as lyrical as a crunchy bottom bracket? Will the Fabulous Five form a team and call themselves the Zelda's? What about Philadelphia's Mario Brothers? For a moment I thought they were sponsored by WTB, then I realized it was their logo. Something about baby bears, why not call yourselves the Snuggle Bears, after that annoyingly coy fuzzball that pimps toilet papaer?

Here in lame old Dallas, DART is the light rail system, which is a joke, so maybe the acronym fits.

Anonymous said...

AHHH…to be young, board and living in your parent’s basement. I too was a part of a sausage club way back and thought of myself as quite the badass, yet in reality it was nothing more than a need to be noticed. Well congratulations, you have all made it on Bikesnob. Enjoy this now because you have peaked and the rest of the ride is just going to get more embarrassing for you all when you grow up and someone reminds you of this brief moment as a nationally recognized group of douche bags.

Prolly said...

thanks guys. I'm going LARPING this afternoon, who will join?

Anonymous said...

@Poppy

Aw... how cute. Someone's been practicing his prose and references to audition to be america's next top bikesnob.

Anonymous said...

hipster-bashing is far more pathetic than being a hipster. Who cares? Probably not Prolly.

Prolly said...

FYI for those who speak so highly of themselves:

-calling someone a douchebag is tired. Especially behind a computer screen. What are we 14?
-yes we ride, Tony has 2 road bikes and rides them more than his fixed gear. Wilis has been a messenger in Seattle, Philly and NYC for 7 years. Luke Stiles is a seasoned track star, match sprints champ and could hand most of you your asses on the track.
-Hate them all you want, but Tom and Tony have done a lot for this growing growing sport. All you cyclocross guys should know about the mixing of cycling sports. Sure they used to be BMX kids, but skill is skill no matter the vessel.

I don't see what the big deal is. I'm part of the Mishka family and when the guys asked me if I wanted to do this, I was game. There's nothing wrong with handing your friends free clothes. Ride and Relax.

For the record, I also dress in squid gear when appropriate, wear a helmet and crank away as much as possible. Centuries, ect. I'm not a rookie to this shit. See you guys at Kissena this Spring.

Roadent said...

Anonymous said...

I didn't even read the post yet...how cool am I?


Possibly the best comment ever....

Anonymous said...

Still, BSNYC's satire rocks. Good to have a critic here and there.

Prolly said...

Oh I love the post. Made my day. Everyone's laughing in my office right now and Architects NEVER LAUGH!

Luke said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Luke said...

So much love ... are the comments closed over at Velocity? And just so I don't get slammed TOO hard, I'm only slightly better than average on the track, below average on the road, and 30 pounds heavier than when I stopped racing 10 years ago. Which means I'm not in my 20s, presenting an entirely different set of problems and opportunities for criticism.

And I appreciate the Real Genius comparison, as my uncle's old friend, Dave Marvit, was Val Kilmer's 'nerd' consultant for that movie. A great man who taught me many things, including how to lose at Go.

Bike Snob, please keep up your insightful work and don't be offended when people occasionally accuse you of being me. One suggestion: consider mining the arcana of early 90s rec.bicycle.* postings. The world needs to remember the arguments Jobst Brandt, Sheldon Brown, Roger Marquis and the rest had.

Anonymous said...

Just what we need a Cat 4 "Rock Racing" team. Great!

Boz said...

Good job, NYBS, setting prolly up like some sort of pinata, but he defended himself quite well. He blocked all the jabs and has a good counter punch. Stilll no knock-out punch yet. I'm waiting.

Prolly said...

knock out punch

shit sucked.

Anonymous said...

so fucking funny.

Ugly people on ugly bikes wearing ugly clothes and doing stupid things.

almost a regular road racing team, except their bikes are uglier...

Brad Wright said...

Wow, I didn't know The Klaxons were a cycling team too!

KanyonKris said...

I'm a bit surprised at the venomous comments to what was a mild roasting of the DART crew by the Snob. I think the DART thing is silly, but I've done plenty of goofy things in my life just for kicks. Live and let live, I'm OK you're OK, and all that. I blame the angst venting on the weather - we all need to get out and ride.

thefutureofamerica said...

Could it be any more adorable how Prolly and Tom are sharing that set of powder pink deep V's? Man, I bet you could hardly tell where one rider's colon ended and the other's mouth began in a paceline.

Dan Ennis said...

i don't really understand the fixie scene, but i know from mtb racing its always fun as hell to have a team with friends to hang out at races and whatnot. this seems like the same thing to me, im down with it.

Anonymous said...

Dear BSNYC: The last few weeks I've only chuckled at most of your posts, but this one had me in tears. Thank you.

Brian said...

Why do these dudes look like they've dug out their parents old 80's ski gear? I can just imagine seeing them ripping down k-12 while the paperboy jams after them yelling, "I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!" I imagine fixed gear freestyling to be akin to trying to grab a pair of shorts out of the washer while the spin cycle is at full bore.

Prolly said...

Free hoodie or sweatshirt to the best comment today. I'm serious... who's got it?

So far, no one has pointed out how much Luke and Tom look alike... Or how my mustache is clearly glued on hamster fur...

I appreciate the "shared" rim comment. My PAUL hub stripped, so Tom lent me his.

Matt in Seattle said...

I know Wilis, he's a good kid, a messenger turned hipster who's still a messenger, but a good kid none the less.

I'll hold my 'Racing Team' comments until I see these guys in matching team kits. Not Cadence clothing or the like, I mean real team kits, made out of lycra.

Prolly, I just want you to know I think YOU had the best comment today for breaking out the LARPer challenge to all comers. I mean really, who LARPs now a days? I also see no foam sword or vamp make-up in the posted pic. Don't piss off LARPers Prolly, if you know what's good for you!

Word!

ZiP said...

Anon 10:26 said:

"hipster-bashing is far more pathetic than being a hipster."

good point.

Prolly said...

FTW!

visitordesign said...

shared rim?
i've shared a rim with prolly before.
that stuff around his mouth... it's not a mustache.

Luke said...

I'm a Cat 3 dammit - people, those park races are HARD!

Perez Hilton said...

butt darts

M. Weed said...

Prolly you did a good job with your "retort" but you're going to lose your lead if you keep posting.

Andy Warhol's new prediction is that in the future every cyclist (I use this term loosely) will be famous for exactly one Bikesnob post.

Matt in Seattle said...

Come on! I just looked at the DART blog and got a good look at the 'Death Adder'. It's a bear with a forked tongue for Christ sake! A death adder is a snake! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here!!

Prolly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

DAY GLOW NIKE'S...CHECK

CLOSE FITTING HOODIES ALL GANGTA'D OUT...CHECK

EXTRA TIGHT HIPSTER JEANS...CHECK

COWBOY/SANDANISTA STYLE BANDANA...CHECK

CAN'T FORGET ABOUT THE STUPID AEROSPOKE WHEEL... CHECK

OH YEAH, DEFIANTELY CAN'T FORGET ABOUT THE NOT WASHIN YER BALLS FOR AT LEAST A WEEK AND PROBABLY HAVEING A MEAN CASE OF HERPES...DOUBLE CHECK

If you read this lis and think you fit the criteria, i'm pretty sure that you could be part of any fixie-freestyle squad!

sh said...

Now now people, the venom against Prolly is a little too uh, venemous, don't you think? The reason this blog works is that it's culturally detail-laden and funny, but not specifically mean. That's the magic, get it?

Despite the fact that Prolly and DART could've benefitted from a front break before they skidded into Gooniesville, and the many braggadocio references to his "boys" is certainly laughable (and worth the reward of the comparisons listed on the front page today) blasting out with The Hate undermines the spirit of the comment section.

It's pains me to see Prolly have to return repeatedly to defend himself; a gentle drubbing should only require a quick repartee and then laughter. This is a classic BSNYC post, don't bum us out with the douchebag remarks, 'kay?

(On the other hand, all derisive callouts to fixed gear fashion are totally acceptable.)

Chris Mayhew said...

I give it till the Vuelta that THE KING OF PANTS is stuck sponsoring these guys.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure Bike Snob is Ellsworth Toohey

Anonymous said...

I think it is so convenient as a way to share rim pairs. Do you want only one lime Deep V on your bike? Then start a team and give your mate the other.

So Prolly is an architect? And he's also an architect?

Anonymous said...

No such thing as too much venom towards Prolly, has everybody forgotten that freakin' rick roll?

BTW/ nice molestache!

Anonymous said...

What a bunch of douchebags. This is why I hate NYC. Let then next plane fall on Brooklyn.

Anna said...

I agree with Sh about the viciousnsess of the comments, it's really not necesary.

However, I did find it funny that the only stats on their bikes were the gear ratios, as though a "manly" 49:15 makes up for their bikes being as cute as they are. The only one of my friends with powder pink deep v's is kind of an ass too.

Anonymous said...

"Luke Stiles is a seasoned track star, match sprints champ and could hand most of you your asses on the track"

Not with a 13.82s F200....

http://www.kissena.info/track/results/2006/State%20Championship%20Results.pdf

Anonymous said...

Love and Hate is what bloggin's all about. FUCK THAT , WHERE'S MY FREE SWEATSHIRT! Sike! i'm just kiddin, but not really! It's all just a BMX rip-off anyway.
Really, i'm not trying to come off as negative, in fact, i wish them nothing but the best. But keep in mind, nothing is original any more.
Saw the MASH video, it really brought back some old memories of when I had alot of downtime waiting for my dispatcher to dole out some jobs. Just like sittin around and waiting for jobs, one word, BORING!

Anonymous said...

Anon. 12:03

What are you even talking about? With the exception of one aerospoke photo, none of the things you listed were even close to present in the D.A.R.T. profile (I personally was surprised with how loose their jeans were).

Lack of critical reasoning...Check.

Overwellming sense of insecurity...Check.

Perception of the world as an offensive abbreviation ...Check.

Dull defense of mediocre existence...Check.

Punctuate with detailed description of soiled testicles...Double Check.

Robert said...

It's always nice to see new people doing new things.
Some sort of Death Adder comparison should be enough to win comment of the day.

The Death Adder has a short, fat body and triangular head.

DART has Tony.

Anonymous said...

what the hell, this is the BSNYC blog comment area, right? From reading, I could swear it's CL RnR.

Polygraf said...

Freestyle Fanatics was the name of my crew, but we were 15yrs old and it was the early 80's, we grew up and found a purpose.
I've seen these guys do some pretty amazing stuff but this dart stuff is making me very sad,now i know the end is near.

Anon 12:19 FUCK YOU!
Love,
Brooklyn

Team Dilly said...

I hate to have to hate but if I ever start to care about what someone is wearing while they are doing a curb endo then power-bomb me

-Seth

Anonymous said...

seriously, watch these video's and tell me they don't deserve everything they get. Its just awful, some of these clips display such low skill levels its seems like a bad joke. Live and let live, do your thing etc, but if your gonna film yourself and post it online you'd better be ready to take what you get. You look about as graceful as an elephant seal.

http://www.slamxhype.com/2008/02/19/mishka-dart-cycling-team

Anonymous said...

The "fatties fit fine" logo on Tony Fast's chainstay is priceless....

Anonymous said...

hey prolly, or someone, what's "squid gear?"

datamonkey said...

Hey Prolly: I just showed this to some folks in my office and they laughed and they are statisticians, which in my experience are even less funny than architects, so that is a step in the right direction. Good job. Also that stache is very popular in Wyoming, very NASCAR, keep it up.

Peter said...

Holy Crap,
It's like a tidal wave of nasty in here today.
The comment about the plane was VERY shity! Bad Form.

Anonymous said...

God, you guys really need soften up your Brooks saddles a bit more. JEEZ, did everyone's sense of humor get flushed down the toilet with their French Blend enema?!

Anonymous said...

What this looks like to me is an East coast effort at capturing and capitalizing on the Popularity of Mash and the cultural impact that it had on San Francisco, not to mention the gains made by Fixed Gear hipster boutiques like FatLace and Orange 20 in LA.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations snob, you've brought the end one day nearer with this post.

Not only did you devote an entire post to a guy who hangs out on the comment board, but it reads like one of the crappy complaints that pops up here at this time of day.

Whats next a post devoted to Jim, or Bluenoser? They like bikes too. Or how about post about all the anon. comments on your blog.

yeah, yeah, i know, my refund is in the mail.

stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com
is funnier.

Jim said...

As long as your boys ride hard and ride often, they're okay with me Prolly.

BTW, your blurb says you like Carolina Style, pulled. So that's eastern or piedmont. What are your favorite joints? I'll show mine first and throw out some Stameys, Allen & Sons, Bullocks and The Swan. Yeah, that makes me an Eastern Style whore (or Eastern & Piedmont Style whore, technically), but so be it. At least it ain't that western style crap - what is that stuff, sunday pork roast with ketchup on it? And yes, I brew my own since there's little or no good 'cue in D.C., the 'name brand' it most resembles is Allen & Sons. Damned if I can duplicate the hush puppies though.

Anonymous said...

Come on Guys Internet Bullying just ain't cool!

Anonymous said...

I always thought Squids referred to a guys with no talent on brand new Suzuki GSXRs.

VD said...

Dress
And
Ride
Together

it's all about flow!

handsomebastard said...

Hmm, let's see, overly serious attitude, big deal about their gear, matching funny outfits. That sounds like every bike team/club on earth. The humorometer will dip if y'all can't remember the diff between making fun and out and out hating. Some of these comments crossed the line. Now, there is pomposity and there is POMPOSITY. Not strong enough.. Utterly rancidly painfully stupidly obliviously last years newsly plastic fantastically ostenfreakintatiously pompous: http://www.pezcyclingnews.com/photos/babes/babes08/cali-rock.jpg

Morris Day is about to have to come out of retirement and battle this man.

Jim said...

And anon 1:07... I thought the post was mildly funny but was actually really sort of interesting, especially following the link, more than it was funny. There are guys where I work who are Fixxsters, who ride a mile or two to work, full messenger getup, and ocasionally out to bars. That's the extent of their riding. They're kind of lame-o-s, better they are on the bike then driving I guess, but trying to imitate the style of hard core riders is just week. Kind of like the guys on blinged Madones who hammer the bike trails once a week in their Discovery kit, complete with yellow jersey. But the lamest ass club racer in the world wins my respect because they live the life and earned the silly looking kit. If Prolly and crew are the real deal as riders but also cashing in in the hipster fixation on actual urban riders, whether it's with fashion stuff or just a little cultural project to amuse themselves... good for them. I think you may be missing some of the irony in that whole deal. Irony - it's not just what you use to put a crease in your Swobo messenger pants.

Anonymous said...

Sooooo ...

Who else thinks "sh" is BSNYC????

Anonymous said...

So maybe the Mishka / D.A.R.T. bike crew doesn't look like your standard bike riders. But these guys are talented. They maybe look funny to you, but they know how to ride.

I think the main reason everyone hates on the D.A.R.T. crew is that they'll inspire people who don't know anything about track bikes to go out and buy one. Now if the Icy Hot Stunnaz created their own bike crew, I give you permission to hate.

Mark said...

Names that were rejected:
M.A.R.T. - Macho Anarchistic Riding Team
T.A.R.T. - Totally Awesome Riding Team
F.A.R.T. - Fixed Army Riding Team
W.A.R.T. - Wild Area Ridint Team
B.A.R.T. - BQE Action Riding Team
P.A.R.T. - Pacifist Artistic Riding Team
K.A.R.T. - Killer Action Riding Team

Tyler Hamilton said...

That kid from the bad news bears looks a hell of a lot like me. Freaky...

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 1:07pm,

Where in this post did I complain about anything?

I'm sorry you didn't find Prolly's team newsworthy or my post entertaining, but I am glad you've found a new blog that you like better than mine. I'm sure its conceit will never wear thin for you.

--BSNYC

Anonymous said...

Does 'team' mean there are going to be team competitions soon (trick ones, not alleycats)?

Matt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Prolly, you're o.k. with me, I promise, BUT, you only see moustaches like that in Wyoming or gay porn.

Anonymous said...

Might want to replace the fork on that steamroller before they make the county fair rounds. Safety first kids. (follow the link and look at about the fourth picture down). Going to need a quite the sponsorship to keep replacing surly forks.

Anonymous said...

bike jocks are still jocks

Commiecanuk said...

datamonkey said...
... that stache is very popular in Wyoming, very NASCAR, keep it up.


Boogity! boogity! boogity!, let's gaw cyclin'!

Honestly, I thought it was a professional Fred Durst impersonator.

Check out Luke's glasses, they have that urban Napolean Dynamite cool.

Don't forget my Canadian United National Team, C.U.N.T.s.

McLovin said...

Isn't all gay porn filmed in Wyoming?

BTW: you also see the 'stash on baggage handlers at the Denver airport.

Sleepy said...

Wow. The responses are pretty gripping. Scary, it's like ritual chanting for the Fixocalypse. The Four Fixies are on the horizon....
I suggest we re-convert all those conversions to prepare for the impending tidal wave of doom...

agentdetroit said...

s.b.d crew rules detroit!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/agentdetroit/454820941/

now gimmie my hoodie!

Anonymous said...

Dear BSNYC: Nice, Funny, supportive Post !

Prolly: Good Luck to the Team !
Start winning and everyone will be complaining about that next !

On a side note: Is it my imagination or does Luke Styles look like a cross between Dana Carvey and Chevy Chase ?

Enjoy the ride !

Anonymous said...

So where is the cycling team?

I laughed, I cried, I shoke my head...

central dogma said...

I agree with 'sh'
he/she should also get best comment

And while I occasionally snicker at hipsters, you guys should keep getting pitted, so pitted, brah

Anonymous said...

I see it all too clearly now. The snob has a split personality disorder. He IS prolly, and he IS the snob. Why do you think that prolly comments so much? I bet in the morning the snob gets out on his fixie beater which cost under $400 and rides a hundred miles. But when it becomes dark, prolly hears the call and takes over and soon he is on his fixie freestyler riding a hundred miles to his favorite bar doing wheelies the whole way.

Pagina Vilot said...

does this mean you cretins are going to start snaking people down at the brooklyn banks? i wasn't aware curb endo's were a real "trick".

andy said...

Chunk was actually Jeff Cohen, I knew him in college. Just for the sake of accurate reportage (and so those DART boys know who they're dealing with...)

FTWBB said...

Tell me again what sport it is that they participate in, bouncing bikes off walls? Reminds me of when I was in a garage band; we all thought we were the next Led Zeppelin and all we were was a bunch of lame-ass suburban kids with guitars.That's the goofiest BS I've ever seen.

Prolly said...

To the dude who said my fork was broken...

[too many comments to sift though]

It's a fisheye lens. My fork is fine. I have a Brooklyn Machine Works fork coming. Surprisingly, the Surlys can take a beating. I'm very happy with it.

Sleepy Head said...

I just want to know if it gets any of them laid, or at least gets them free pizza and beer. Then we will know who the joke is on...

Commiecanuk said...

Anonymous said...

I see it all too clearly now. The snob has a split personality disorder. He IS prolly, and he IS the snob.
.

dude, you like, just blew my mind.
Chuck Palahniuk reads BSNYC.

Anonymous said...

LARPING!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Prolly: If you seriously are, you can do no wrong in my book.

... said...

The more widespread the product the weaker the purity. This shit is weeek, you couldn't sell it on the corner...

Trompe le Monde said...

I just can't get over how much the pic of DART looks like a Suicidal Tendencies or Anthrax album cover...

Anonymous said...

Oh lordy.

I logged in this morning and was saying to myself, what's on Bisnick's blog today, prolly someone really dumb.

Christ, these people do Okay if somewhat mediocre tricks, they seem like OK folk... why did they go and dress themselves down in poserdom? The punk meadows lip squish is not worth free clothes guys.

It's that response made to the photographer saying "OK now! Look mean! Sneer!"

"grrrrrrr".

Ow.

Anonymous said...

Watson and porky need to take a listen to Mojo:

"Get your lip too.
Not no fool Billy Idol lip either."

VD said...

I just can't get over how much the pic of DART looks like a Suicidal Tendencies or Anthrax album cover...

glen friedman just called me and asked if i'd retrieve your severed head for him.

Anonymous said...

"Those guys look like dorks."

~offhand comment made by the wife as she looks over my shoulder.

Blayne said...

Prolly said...

I appreciate the "shared" rim comment. My PAUL hub stripped, so Tom lent me his.

That is what you get for not riding Phil's!

Husker Duchamp said...

The old 80s rivalry between skating/punk rock and BMX/heavy metal has been decided by this fixed-gear freestyler phenomenon. I'm afraid the BMXers have finally won. Even my own son is more interested in Godflesh than the Flesheaters. The Apocalypse is indeed near.

Anonymous said...

Prolly, I found some more info on your very interesting team, including photos on this page ! Your crew will certainly score with the ladies!

leroy said...

I'm just disappointed I won't get to compete against Prolly's crew because they're Cat 4.

I don't mean to brag, but I'm well known on the Cat 6 circuit.

Masters Division.

Every event I go to, the sponsors peg me as Cat 6 and apologize because there is no one competing at my level.

I think the baggy jersey gives me away.

Maybe if I had a cool hoodie, I could sneak into a Cat 4 event.

Jim & Prolly -- Wilson, N.C. has some great BBQ, but when in Savannah, GA, try Wall's BBQ. It's in alley downtown.

jeremy said...

Each DART team member should adopt a real menacing nickname, such as "Lion King", and the rest of the world can measure success by wether or not you have bodyguards. Check it...

http://tinyurl.com/2yoda9

Side-Note: I personally wish that "Lion King" referred to the Credit-Lyonnais Lions awarded at TdF Maillot Jaune Presentations, but it really is just a lame nickname.

agentdetroit said...

wasn't luke stiles in the buggles?

Trompe le Monde said...

@ vd

err - did i post something inappropriate? are there some friedman-acolytes out there that watch out his legacy is not tainted by mere words?

Anonymous said...

Agent Detroit:
I have confirmation that Luke Stiles is responsible for the death of the radio star.

mander said...

Respect to Prolly and co. Your fixie team is beyond silly but you guys have handled this situation with a lot of class and character.

spellchecker said...

You spelt irascibility wrong.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Spellchecker,

Thanks, I did indeed. But where were you when I needed you?

--BSNYC

AskReamer said...

anon 1:07, I checked out stuffwhitepeoplelike and, while it's true, it really isn't very funny. They can't fade the snob.

and leave prolly alone. He's a nice dude that likes bikes and also shits in the face of all your unfounded allegations of what you deem"hipsters" to be. Namely, he has a job. sheesh. haters up in this muvvvv.

Also, I will venture to say that DART strikes me as more of a gang than a team. One of the friendly types of gangs. Like how Shaggy called Scoobs and the gang, "gang." Like that.

McLovin said...

Whoa...only cat7 master's here..our sprints have been radar-certified at up to 28 km/hr, but don't ask us about cadence, we can't see our cranks.
Phil Ligett once described our riding style as "dancing on the pedals" during our dismounts up 5% hills.

Anonymous said...

Spell checker is spelled wrong.

agentdetroit said...

c'mon prolly, you gotta admit, the buggles comment is worth a hoodie...

Anonymous said...

Very similar to skate teams over the last 10 to 15 years: you get a sponsor, you wear their shit, you choose a team name, you session spots together. It'll be here for a while people, no need to hate. My vote goes to the ST/Anthrax comment.

-fixeryuppie

Toxteth O'Grady said...

Huh...I thought this was a new Morgan Spurlock Documentary (starring Morgan as Prolly) wherein he teams up with Chevy Chase and one of the Kings of Convenience (and a few other guys) to go undercover in the fixed gear sub-culture...

guess not.

Justin said...

wait, what about the whole project runway crew? Fashionably gay any merry. Uhhh oh, don't pull a 1,000 foot skid out on me guys. bahhhahaha Fashion crew's, you gotta love em.

Daniel! said...

The comment about the plane was VERY shity! Bad Form.

Yeah, don't be shity. It's too soon. New York is America's city.

not to mention the gains made by Fixed Gear hipster boutiques like FatLace and Orange 20 in LA.

What gains? Like, uh, money? What does that have to do with anything?

Boogity! boogity! boogity!, let's gaw cyclin'!

Is that supposed to represent a negro dialect, Canuck?

broomie said...

"mander said...
Respect to Prolly and co. Your fixie team is beyond silly but you guys have handled this situation with a lot of class and character."

Ditto

hooray for having fun and being silly, and poop on those who don't know how to have fun anymore

Fendergal said...

Woohoo! "Real Genius"! Bikesnob must have come of age in the '80s!

Anonymous said...

http://msp43.photobucket.com/albums/e356/shizzlelayouts/myspace-codes-animations-49.gif

Anonymous said...

Does D.A.R.T need some theme music ?

http://www.bombaybicycleclubmusic.com/

Anonymous said...

Please stop ripping off the 80s thrash band art and inject something original.

This stuff makes me ambarrassed and I don't even live in the same country as this American boy band.

Chop

Kro said...

I took my BMX bike to the track this last weekend, and hell did I get shelled. I was OTB by the first corner.

I thought about bringing my track bike, but fuck that, I wanna be different, even if it means embarrassing myself and my family.

ltc_tim said...

I haven't seen moustaches like that in gay porn since I've been an adult. You guys are either really old or only watch vintage stuff from the 70s. Trust me, Titan, Hot House and Treasure Island don't have any models with that kind of throwback facial hair.

bbb said...

too much hate. i'm not the biggest fan of the elitist bike gangs that have been popping up (and damn there's a lot of them), and prolly may be all the names everyone is calling him, but at least he's out there doing something, instead of arguing online. everyone should really just settle down. bikers hating other bikers is just bad form (and a bad sign). for the most part we're all out there in the same situations with the same problems as everyone else who is on a bike, right? we should really be watching each other's backs. whether you're some seasoned track star, messenger, commuter, mexican who pedals with his ankles, or CX dude you;re on a bike and you're in the same world as me. i mean come on!

Anonymous said...

i agree with bbb. prolly and his elitist gang might be douchebag hipsters but i'm fighting on their side if it comes down to it.

Melissa said...

The existence of D.A.R.T., together with this eerie sighting surely signals the coming of the fixpocalypse:

http://fixedgeargallery.com/2008/feb/2/DWarden.htm

Yes. What you're seeing there is a SEAT TUBE protector.

morgan said...

I like how there's graffiti in one of Tony's fotos that says:

SMEGMA = DICK CHEESE

Who knew? What a valuable PSA.

Anonymous said...

"Prolly"--
You have got to be kidding.
Please be kidding.
Please.

sh said...

ah, bbb, your naivety is almost charming. Almost.

...for the most part we're all out there in the same situations with the same problems as everyone else who is on a bike, right? we should really be watching each other's backs. whether you're some seasoned track star, messenger, commuter, mexican who pedals with his ankles, or CX dude you;re on a bike and you're in the same world as me. i mean come on!

While, it's true, hate has no place here, neither does Kumbaya. Here's the word: if we all got along, "watching each other's backs" as you say, this blog would have little reason to exist. But it does exist, and that is because we, members of the various cycling tribes, are by our nature driven to mock those outside of our version of cool.

The simple truth is that I'm entirely incapable of "watching the back" of a fixed gear rider sporting a long-tired 80's ironic mustache. It's just too cliché. Especially when there are claims that sponsorship is not like Nike, but rather like family. (Meaning "I couldn't score a contract, just a hoodie.") Every fiber of my being demands projection of well-deserved scorn.

However, one doesn't need to be mean about it.

Daniel! said...

However, one doesn't need to be mean about it.

Mean would be slashing other peoples' tires, or stealing their bikes, or striking them from behind with a hammer and taking their wallets. Insulting someone's taste in bikes over the internet is catty. Big deal, right?

Anonymous said...

Dude, it was just a lame-o attempt at humor. I have no idea what kind of facial hair predominates in gay porn, I promise.

gunnery sergeant hartman said...

ltc tim,

You little scumbag. I got your name, I got your ass. You will not laugh, you will not cry, you will learn by the numbers I will teach you. Now get up, get on your feet. You had best un-fuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck.

Anonymous said...

Nobody’s said shit about hate here. This crew has just set them selves up for criticism and most of it is just descriptive. I wasn’t hating when I said they would look back on this with embarrassment 20 years from now and realize that they were a group of douche bags. I’m describing a feeling they’ll have when their children pull out these photos and ridicule them the way only children can. And here’s another description for Prollys mustache, and my favorite, “dick broom.”

Anonymous said...

It's the Red Moon snob that's causing all of this.

fakebikesgonewild said...

Whoa!
Yesterday, on the comments board, I wondered out loud where Prolly was and now I'm like "Shit, that's just too damn much Prolly".

Anonymous said...

"I wasn’t hating when I said they would look back on this with embarrassment 20 years from now and realize that they were a group of douche bags."

But won't you feel like a bigger douche bag if lets say hypothetically in 20 years you dust this post out and "Bike Teams" like this are very much the norm and these dudes you're labeling "douche bags" for doing this become the cycling communities Tony Hawks, Steve Caballeros, Christian Hosois, Stacy Peraltas, etc, etc?

Would they really be douche bags if regardless how ridiculous you think they look, they go and inspire a whole generation of kids younger than them to really pick up and promote cycling to new heights and popularity? They'd be real douche bags for that kind of travesty right?

Who knows if ANY of that WILL happen, but if you're really paying attention to the way things are going the likelihood (at least to me) is that this may indeed happen, and happen sooner rather than later.

So you can keep doing your own thing and support cycling and anything that bring attention to cycling or you can be bitter because the times are changing and you aren't part of that change. It's up to you, but I don't think in 20 years or in 20 days anyone in those photos is going to look at this and be embarrassed by it.

Like I said, who know where this will go if anywhere but for right now it's certainly got the attention of EVERYONE and that's always the first and most important step in anything new.

Anonymous said...

get real you donut, stacy peralta? steve caballero? your having a laugh. tripe sir! utter tripe.

Anonymous said...

I'm mostly having laugh at how you still haven't figured out when to use your and your

Anonymous said...

well thats egg on my face! I meant your and you're.

Anonymous said...

better to be pissed off than pissed on, I always say

Anonymous said...

In 1975 I was a skate punk, OFP (Original Fucking Punk) safety pins holding my cloths together from the asphalt tears and not as a fashion statement and I looked like a Douche Bag. I was a vert ramp skater and sucked at it and in no way contributed to the future of the sport. These guys are doing what they enjoy and that’s great but I have earned the right to ridicule them. I didn’t take myself seriously back then and these boys shouldn’t take themselves seriously now. But Prollys does gots a serious flavor savior going.

Anonymous said...

today's PistaDex is predicted to close an all-time high of $499.00

track specialty retailers warn of looming double strap shortages

Jason said...

Tom's card says his favorite trick is either a backflipa or a fakie backflip.

On a track bike? Really? If you can do backflips, then why is your next photo a bunny hop? If you've got the mad skills or whatnot, then let's see it.

You want to progress the sport, then do it. Wheelies, skids, pogos, grabs, and stands are old.

Richmond Roadie said...

Waaa Haaaa! From the looks of them, the DARTS may be the genesis of a boy band revival! That pic has album cover all over it!

Btw, the Bad News Bears "Kelly Leak" was played by Jack Earl Haley. He was "Mooch" in Breaking Away. BSNYC karma at its best...

lemmiwinks said...

You know, if prolly would just grow his hair and sideburns a bit...

Anonymous said...

I'm starting to get this nagging feeling that this whole D.A.R.T. thing is completely tongue in cheek and that the joke is on all of us for thinking they're being serious...

Is it possible that this was just BSNYC fodder like a lot of the ridiculous bikes you see on FGG are now? I mean, this clothing company has gotten a crapload of publicity from this... I wonder who sent this to BSNYC originally...?

dick cheney said...

I am the death adder.

Prolly said...

Jason. You just made yourself look like an idiot. Thanks.

the riders you speak of

NO ONE ELSE IN THE WORLD IS DOING THIS ON TRACK BIKES.

Where have you been for the past year? Under a rock?

russ j said...

Prolly,

An honest question: how did Jason make himself look like an idiot? Seems to me he's got a valid point--whether it's on a track bike or a bmx it's still the same tricks. (Sure, it's harder on a track frame, but in the history books that's more of a footnote than an actual innovation.) That video has some good stuff, but unless you can bust out, say, some backflip footage you're not proving Jason wrong.

And it's great that you encourage people to ride and relax--so why the contentious responses on your part? Take it easy, man!

-Russ

Clayton said...

LARP gathering this weekend in mccarren park pool. bring your lightning bolts.

and jim. western style bbq? you talking about texas or tennessee?

Anonymous said...

I'm going to save my comments and let this clip do the talking - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhAr_UeroCk
The guy on the kid's bike says it all really...

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha... this is BS NYC afterall kids - the home of sarcasm and satirical lyricism. Props to Prolly and his crew for paving their (a) way.

One beef however, What's with this fixed riding in bowls and skateparks??
(a) it annoys the shite outta skaters,
(b) What's the point if you cant do lip tricks and airs? A bar spin dropoff or wheely doesn't count,
(c) it looks lame,
(d) learn to skate

Anonymous said...

God, Prolly and his mustache are milking this for all it's worth. I think a lot of you think these guys are taking this a lot more seriously than they really are. This reminds me of an Andy Kaufman stunt or something.

What this appears to be to me is marketing genius on the part of Mishka... "any publicity is good publicity" and all that. Who ever heard of Mishka before this shit? Definitely not me...

Russ said...

A free hoodie or sweatshirt?

Is that a threat?

Young jzZi said...

I salute Prolly and his team even if they're more than a bit ridiculous but then; boys, let us see who you do in The Monster Track...

Anonymous said...

My dog's name is Mishka.

Anonymous said...

I think some of you have already created your own Team and should look for a sponsor:

Anonymous Haters Of Literally Everything

or alternatively

Anonymous Haters Of Life's Eccentricities.

Anonymous said...

that video of the "extreme" fixie tricks is hardly demanding more respect. they're doing bmx tricks you learn within a month of riding.

ooh a 180.

oooh a wall ride.

ooh the easiest flatland "trick" one can do....

unimpressed.
doing shit on a frame and wheelset that wasn't designed for tricks doesn't make it more hardcore, it just makes you dumb. like riding a beach cruiser on a century.

Anonymous said...

Prolly, no one is doing those tricks on track bikes because there are already bikes designed for tricks, and they're much more well-suited than track bikes. Tricks on track bikes are dumb.

Brian said...

Anon 10:55,

Beach cruiser century team! PRICELESS!

Prolly,

Go check out www.pinkbike.com , and see how cycling is really progressing in the tricks department.

Anonymous said...

do these people actually ride their bikes? maybe i am living in some strange parallel universe where bikes are used to get from point a to point b and back (without sacrificing the sheer pleasure of riding a bike) 'cause i have no idea what these guys are doing. and i tend not wear neon dunks or new era caps while riding, again, must be my parallel universe thing. guess i am not terribly cool for sweating and wearing the appropriate gear.

Anonymous said...

Ellsworth Toohey? Wow.

Anonymous said...

Please allow me to summarize the comments for this post:

Grrrr! Grrrr! I hate Prolly and all of these dudes, Grrrr! Grrrr! They can do all the same stuff I can do on a fixed gear but then they have to go and do all this other shit you're not supposed to do and I obviously can't do!

But I was OK with not being able to do all that shit on my bike because I don't ride a BMX and it's obviously a BMX ONLY thing. I ride fixed gears and I don't need to prove to anyone that I should be able to do those things on my bike because I mean duh... my bike was so not built for that shit and has nothing to do with my abilities.

But OH NO! GRRRRR! Now because they can do all those things you are totally not supposed to do on a fixed gear and are getting attention for them I'm afraid it will put my abilities and identity into question!!!! Grrrr!! Grrrrr!!!

Anonymous said...

Prolly, DART . . . Can I just have my popsicle?

~Lee

Greg Formager said...

This DART crew is chillin. I vibe hella and it's my classic peep during art history. Do me up an email if you read this comment and are down.

kyre said...

hmmm this is innovative? Seems to me being a fixed gear ballerina has been going on for a long long time. Nothing new besides the fact people are using way too short of handlebars because they "think" they need to squeeze through 2 buses going real extreme.

Get your DUI dad bars on and try some tricks like this here video from a particular movie everybody knows. http://mikeywally.wordpress.com/2008/02/20/quicksilver-bicycle-dancing-scene/

Jonathan said...

Well... I stayed out of this for as long as I could. I have to say, Prolly - if you're reading (and I know you are) - I think it's a silly idea, personally, but if it's making you happy then I can't complain. You're not inconveniencing me in any way by hanging out with your friends and doing tricks on track bikes whilst breaking down your outfit's provenance to a correspondent from some local Vice-wannabe.

However, as soon as you said;

NO ONE ELSE IN THE WORLD IS DOING THIS ON TRACK BIKES.

...my acceptance of you and your set/clique/gang/club/team crumbled like so much tire rubber during one of those siqq skids that 'fixie crews' seem so fond of.

Many other people in the world are doing that on track bikes. One-handed wheelie? I see those on a daily basis here in SF.

By all means, carry on getting free bike-fashion clothes from your sponsor and carry on using a track bike to do BMX/trials tricks, but don't take yourself so bloody seriously or try to make out like you're pioneering trailblazers in the world of fixed-gear freestyling.

Toodle pip.

Greg Formager said...

The OG's:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5lboJIylD0

stv said...

As soon as I saw "Death Adder" it made me think of Death Eaters. Are the members of DART big Harry Potter fans? Is that how come all the purple?

Anonymous said...

"All you cyclocross guys should know about the mixing of cycling sports"

Huh? What is being mixed?

Cyclocross goes back to the 1920s.
Mixing what? Riding your bike cross-country?

I think people did that "off-season" for fun and training and eventually it became organized and competitive. It's really riding a bike in woods and rough country fast, and if you have to carry the bike, do it if it's faster.


And not far off with your discipline, but instead of street fixtures it was natural obstacles and focused on getting somewhere rather than hot-dogging.

Fixed gears (early on), fenders (that's right), and lotsa skill.

Eugène

Stairs

Streetwear


I'm impressed by the skills of fixed-gear freestylers, but it doesn't get me hot and bothered.

And why doesn't the damn bear have an adder for a tongue? It reminds me of my bear patch from Cub Scouts

Jason B said...

I don't know why I'm responding to this, but here goes.

Prolly,

I don't think you read what I wrote, and if you did, you missed the point.

If one of your riders can do backflips, then why aren't you taking photos/videos and showing that off? Why would you hold back on something that good if you're trying to push your sport farther. The video you link to has some pretty cool tricks, but it's not revolutionary.

And why are you so hostile? Get a grip.

Matt in Seattle said...

Prolly, come on, you know you can't back a statement like this:

"NO ONE ELSE IN THE WORLD IS DOING THIS ON TRACK BIKES."

Tell that to the Eastern European fixed gear ballerinas who have been doing tricks like this, syncronized, since the 1930's.

It's one thing to get a crew together to have a fixed session, it's another thing completely to claim you guys are doing things that have never been done before. Don't fool yourself. Unless, of course, one of you actually lands a flip on a fixed gear. That would be ground breaking.

Anonymous said...

What about the Warriors?

Prospect Willie Lopez said...

DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!


Track bikes flying down the street at full speed dodging traffic = AWESOME

Wack BMX kids taking their mediocre skills to Fix gear and calling it innovative = LAME

DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!
DART....YA NIGGAZ IS CORNY SON!!!!

lemmiwinks said...

I think that Prolly is actually a comic foil created by BSNYC. The photographs of DART are photochopped composites collated from images of "peeps" with "mad skillz" posing in "da hood" collected through google images. The 'stash on Prolly is a dead giveaway.

Spare a thought for BSNYC keeping up with fresh postings and comments on both blogs. It's no wonder he needs public holidays to recover.

erik k said...

190!

Anonymous said...

speaking of gay-porn mustaches, what is the deal with #96 fozza of slipstream-chipotle?

Anonymous said...

I think this whole thing is a joke, right? Gotta be???
Who on earth would pick Luke Stiles as a poster boy for anything? The guy looks like my friggin grandfather and slightly retarded.
I think we all missed the joke here, must be tongue in cheek?
Who cares about these ass-wipes?

Anonymous said...

why the hatin'? didn't you like learning everyone's gear ratios on their profiles?

Anonymous said...

NO ONE ELSE IN THE WORLD IS DOING THIS ON TRACK BIKES.

exactly, cause no one would do these sorts of things to a real track bike

simply put until the lot of these bikes sees a velodrome...then call them track bikes..until then fixie will do

im glad u guys are riding and organizing i can only give props to that! to any new road/track cycling team. although I have say im disappointed to not see actual race and points standings, instead its just nice pictures with cute quotes. Is there a tentative race schedule that the team will be involved in? (Crits, Track, TT) I hope this isnt another one of those piggy back on a popular trend thing, cause it would be rad to see a legitimate cycling team come up from a grass roots thing

the i in team said...

Im still trying to figure out what the big deal is. Why are people hating so hard on these guys? If it pisses you off that much make sure you race against them and prove to them and yourselves that you're faster and better than them (if that is in fact the case). In terms of the tricks..... whatever. Let people do what they want. Theres better things to get pissed off about then a bunch of dudes having fun on bicycles.

That said, i will be working the NACCCS here in Chicago come summer. The Dart teams faces are public now and ill be sure to keep an eye out to watch how well they do.

And by the way, I love Mishka clothing line as well as a number of their affiliated (or friends i suppose) clothing companies (flying coffin, actual pain, etc). I also wear cycling clothes when i ride everyday. And you know what? Who gives a shit. Who fucking cares what i or anyone else is wearing? Rock what you wanna rock how you wanna rock it.

aaron said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matt in Seattle said...

I in Team, can't wait to see you and the other heads in Chicago. I think this is my most anticipated NACCC to date! How about making the Matchbox a stop on an alleycat? Everyone has to go in and have a drink, the place only holds 29, that'll be a good time!

Anonymous said...

C'mon guys, we are almost to the double century mark on comments. If this is really a racing team, I would pay money to see the fat guy race a hillclimb. Fat guys on bikes RULE!

schmidty said...

I love it all! interesting styles, and something different are just that, interesting. We have a team Beer in pdx, they come out and race on the track often and its great... Its all about having fun, staying in shape, so you can drink beer.

Jonathan said...

There.

200.

Moving on... how about that Tour Of California, eh?

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