According to this bicycle sales training video, how should you handle "casuals and most escalators?"
--Don't waste your time with them
What complaint does the owner have regarding this bike?
--It suffers from "shit ass pedal strike"
--It's got "lame ass braze ons"
The "Buy It Now" price for this headset on eBay is only:
--$60.00
--$80.00
--$109.99
--$179.99
This picture shows:
--The stuff of which every Williamsburg resident's dreams are made
--The apex of "hipster" ingenuity
***Special not safe for work springtime bonus question: conducting an innocent Google image search for which bike-related phrase is most likely to yield sexually explicit results on the first page?
84 comments:
Man i always blow at these quizzes
dos!
I'm willing to bet that you would have to have "safe search" turned off to get that cutie on the first page?
I have to read the post first . . .
loser!
love these quizzes
I, like many of you have been faithfully reading blog since it began last June. And it seems like every week there are more and more readers who discover it, become consumed and fall into the well observed pattern of compulsive commenting which has afflicted many of us. Of coarse to someone who dose not read the blog regulary much of what is said does not make much sense, talk of the PistaDex, the leroyDex, who is the real bikesgonewild, what is the Kludgie? does woogie woogie mean anything? and what exactly is the apocalypse and when is it coming?. So for everyone who is new to the site and has wondered what is going on from time to time & for everyone who has been a long time reader. I have compiled my own personal best of BSNYC list. Featuring many key and pivotal post from the mind of BSNYC. If you haven't read all of these post, you must read them all now! and If you have read them all read them again, I guarantee it will make your day better. Listed in reverse chronological order, now get to it!
Worst of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads, #1s
seven signs of fixed gear apocalypse
seven signs of fixed gear apocalypse
five reasons i hate being cyclist
six signs you may be missing entire point of cycling
five grounds for immediate equipment reappropriation
bsnyc add time capsule
put up or be quiet would you still ride?
2008 dream bike shootout
black monday aerospoke crisis
fixedgeargallery of dogged determination"aka the Kludgie"
its all in details screw your bike
bsnyc product review-no holds barred
bsnyc fixed gear apocalypse-watch: The PistaDex
genuine article reporting on fixed gear phenomenon
gilding lily building better bike
hiding in plain sight why cycling is the world's more popular underground activity
purloined letter ball to hed
P.S. sorry for the insanely long post, but I think this one is worth it & yes I know I left out allot of good ones, but there are allot of posts on this site.
"shit ass pedal strike"
Epic. And the page is entitled "road geometry ftw!"
And many thanks to EK for the "best of bsnyc." New readers should probably take the afternoon off; you have some required reading.
Super-Loser Tuesday!!!
I didn't get one right. Lantern Rouge, and proud of it.
my pista concept has a side mounted vespa rack, and my top tube pad has an integrated ipod nano sleeve and bandit schmata clip. I had my bmx brake lever implanted on my left ankle. lookout 'burg, here i come.
On the bonus question, the girl looks just fine, but that bike is in need of some serious overhauling!
too bad that's not even a real vespa but actually a modern day wannabe vespa, the "stella":
http://www.genuinescooters.com/
That fixie/scooter pic was taken in Toronto. This is what happens when a society allows gay marriages. You won't see that in Colorado.
BTW: that saddle looks very painful for that poor girl. When will people learn to keep the saddle and bars level?
As I read this while reading it during lunchtime at work I think I would have found it helpful to have also read the 'Not safe for work' disclaimer before clicking on the link. I had to bawl out Christian dude for a full 5 minutes.
Love, love, the sales-person training video. Reminds me of the corporatization vids (policy and procedure training etc). Items on that checklist include:
1. Use of thought bubbles ("hey, that fake compliment made me feel great!")
2. Variety of person color.
3. Variety of hair color (ginge is the ace-seller).
4. But white teeth only.
5. A very neat looking place of work. Where are the piles of detritus and dated office art?
Ok, the Bicycle rear rack one got me.
A fixie attached to a scooter.....I smell a new "freestyle sport" in the making. Prolly and his crew can be the first to make it happen. You heard it here first.
erik k:
that's just regular chronological order. but nice job.
I am getting a rear rack for my bike!
Wow, that Chris Carmichael thing is funny. I think he shared a wee bit too much information there.
If I could give him some advice, it'd be:
Chris, I love your stuff normally, but there's a word for people who need to be around weaker folks in order to stroke their ego. It's not a nice word. I realize you're playing to the Bicycling crowd, but still. I suggest you find a hot 20 year old to date on the side, or maybe go out and buy an expensive bike and start racing it, which is how most of us deal with our midlife crises. Um, the bike that is.
Check out the folder index of the rear rack image, and it appears this guy has alls sort of mis-named images.:)
What a great way to lure pervert cyclists in search of lighting systems and bike racks to your site!
erik k - Is it time to start looking for a job? Or do you work for the City?
New Jersey: America's second banana. Not even Bush-league.
i think 'quick release' might also work as an answer to the last question
Cameron,
That list is worth looking at, by the end, we see that our friend has a perversion for LED lighting, Sheldon Brown, racks and hot asians.
My first impression of the naked asian woman behind the bike photo was not, "seat post too short".
anaon 12:41 thanks it some how seemed backwards at that time, but thats why I went to art school
Now I know why I got that funny look when I complimented a commuter's nice rack.
But on the bright side, I think I've learned how to skid watching that video.
Now all I have to find is a conveniently located wall.
i know you said the last one wasnt work safe, but i decided not to believe you and went and clicked my best guess anyway, the one i thought for sure was safe...
it's a good thing my wall-less cube faces in the opposite direction from everyone else.
NICE!!!
Erik K @ 12:17 pm
Thanks a lot... will do!
Commiecanuk:
He's not the only Asianrackledshelphile in the room!:)
My God!!! Could someone behave more gay than Elton John if they tried? I doubt it...I really doubt it! If I see someone riding a fixed gear bike with no brakes on the road I will automatically assume them to be of homo persuasion
2 for 9...I heard about the quick release ban, though.
anon 1:10
are you looking for a date?
I was doing pretty good until I got to Carmichael. I thought his answer was always to buy something new.
I'd like to buy one of those racks. Are they off-the-shelf at Performance?
I watched that sales video and have to say the acting was about as good as Pee Herman playing the bellhop in the movie version of his Big Adventure.
bike selling videos?
actually i should have paid more attention.
I am continually glad I don't work in corporate retail-- I'm bitter and burnt out enough as it is. That training video made me want to kill myself. In retrospect maybe it's a good thing the chain bike store in my hometown decided girls shouldn't work in bike stores when I applied to work there at age 19. I don't think I would have made it through the summer.
Please "eric k," spend just a little time checking your spelling and grammar. Your writing is painful to read.
A note to all idiots: “Gay” is not a pejorative.
I was forced to watch a "workplace sensitivity" video once, the one where two guys are talking by a water cooler and one offends the black lesbian Christian in a wheelchair.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5lboJIylD0
this one is waaaay better
...using my test results from your last three "fun quizzes" as a form of aptitude test, it would seem that i have a predilection for wearing a helmet w/ an orange safety vest & the innate ability push a large broom around a parking garage, while under supervision...
...things are looking up from a few years ago...
Anon 2:11 pm
Loved the "Fixie Crew Reppin the Skillz" video! Incredible ability and discipline. Thank you.
Please "eric k," spend just a little time checking your spelling and grammar. Your writing is painful to read.
A note to all idiots: “Gay” is not a pejorative.
your gay
anon, I realize I suck at spelling thats why i usual keep my posts short. I wouldn't even normally respond to being called out on it, but you managed to spell my name wrong,, ahh irony
I like to skid.
http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=337347
Hey emily. Bike shops need women, too.
http://www.eeoc.gov/
Funny Denver Craigslist ad of the day:
http://denver.craigslist.org/bik/595317454.html
Daniel! said...
A note to all idiots: “Gay” is not a pejorative.
your gay
yo, yo gangsta..I think you mean "you are gay" or "you're gay", unless you mean you are our gay.
Nipple wench.
The comments today are better than the post. Top-notch kids. Keep it up...
woogie woogie
I'm not sure how, but I glazed over the text in that disclaimer without internalizing one word of it ... I don't think I've ever scrambled so frantically to slap my laptop shut in my life. Good work BS.
That sales video had more unintentional comedy of the squirm-inducing variety than a priest trying to potty train an altar boy. I could only watch about half of it. PAINful!
That rear rack, and the rest of that guy's collection of women posing with various bikes, reminds me of my first piece of "pornography". A 80s era poster of a some random, Flash Dancesque woman, topless, posing with a Univega mountain bike. The caption, "Ride Hard!" I was about 12 or 13 and had just taken a serious interest in both bicycling and topless women. It was certainly a watershed moment in my journey into manhood.
yo, yo gangsta..I think you mean "you are gay" or "you're gay", unless you mean you are our gay.
U R "gay" 2
(Sorry, I'll stop now. This shit kills me, though--real sophisticated crowd around here.)
"yo, yo gangsta..I think you mean "you are gay" or "you're gay", unless you mean you are our gay."
I thought he did "your gay" on purpose, just to piss off a grammar Nazi. Kind of like how you can now call somebody a "Moran" becuase of the old "Get a Brain, Morans" guy.
Dear Mr. Verbose Twat 2:58:
"Yo, Yo Gangsta"?
Isn't he the bad ass cellist who changed his name from Yo Yo Ma because of all the "yo mamma" jokes?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here: I sorta, kinda, maybe think Mr. Daniel! was just funnin' y'all.
"I'm gonna go out on a limb here: I sorta, kinda, maybe think Mr. Daniel! was just funnin' y'all."
Uh...Checked out his blog and I would not give him the credit nor the intelligence it would require. Yikes.
How did you post bikeonvespa1 and not bike on vespa 3???
http://myvespa.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/bikeonavespa3.jpg
Anon 5:02.
You have a point.
That may have been a longer limb than I thought.
Oh well, Mr. Daniel! was complaininig about the sophistication level so I thought I'd brighten his day with a Yo-Yo Ma reference.
Didn't realize he was more of a Yo Ma-Ma kinda guy.
My bad.
Yo Ma-Ma
priceless.
Well, I flunked the 'are you paying attention?' test and called up that lovely photo in front of an older colleague at work. Fortunately, she found it amusing when I gasped, "Oh, Shit", so no harm done.
Had to go through all four selections to get a 'correct' on the Carmichael q.
Re: anyone who isn't a 12 y/o male and uses 'gay' as an insult: good god, get over it already. At some point, it looks like you're protesting too much, if you know what I mean.
Cameron is my new friend. Anyone who finds porn for me without charging is okay by me!
And what's up with those gay oil prices?
I sorta, kinda, maybe think Mr. Daniel! was just funnin' y'all.
No, both those posts were completely serious (especially U R "gay" 2). I hate homosexuality so much that, in my enraged state after thinking about it, I flipped and forgot the simplest rules of my native language. Since "gay" is a deadly insult (near-illiterate readers may prefer the grander "pejorative") I never considered that someone might think I was kidding. In fact, the only reason I even wrote the word at all was because I know a gay guy falls off a bike whenever anyone casually calls something "gay".
But I am sorry about the grammar and spelling. I appreciate the situation it and Erik K.'s otherwise helpful post must have put Anon 2:08 into. My pea-sized brain also has difficulty finding meaning in text with even minor errors, so I understand how confused he must have been. I'm still a little unclear why Erik included all those old Bike Snob posts!
I do have one question, though. Why does my blog profile seem so funny to everyone here? Do you guys think wannabes do get respect from real Gs on the street?
high gas prices are good....for the upperclass!!!
Your humble Exxon share holder...
-Upperclass out!!
Agreed with TechB3....
And Daniel, you're ideas are irrational, and erratic, learn to accept people. Or just stop getting annoyed and enraged, and just ignore. Liberals are increasing, so is the radicalness of their ideas, get ready, because times are a changin', sooner or later, you'll be the one hated because you DON'T accept gays. Better just give in now or you're in for one tough fight, big d-a-w-j.
The bike dangling from the side of the scooter is, in fact, geared. Notice the SIS levers, rear derailleur and shift housing. None the less, the matching saddle bag makes up for the egregious multispeed fashion faux pas.
What's up lower classes?
I was almost outraged at New Jersey attempting to ban quick releases, but then I remembered that NJ is the only state to forbid people from pumping their own gas for safety reasons (OR forbids people from pumping their own gas as well, but they use some sort of "creating employment" nonsense for justification).
Then again, forbidding quick releases is like forbidding car windows that roll down or car doors that open without special tools. Maybe we could get NJ to work on these as well? It would certainly decrease dooring and spitting at cyclists.
Hmmm. Since when is it "liberal" to mind your/you're/yore own business and not worry about the sex lives of other consenting adults? Maybe since "conservative" became synonymous with being "evangelical", "fundamentalist" and "Christian"? The word 'fascist' is so overused that it's now nearly meaningless, but it comes closer to describing the "religious right" than 'conservative'. And talk about a bunch of folks who protest too much about all kinds of things you know they're either doing, or dying to do...
By the way, the word for a liberal whose ideas become radical is 'radical', not 'liberal'. Just to be clear.
erik k, nice collection.
bikesgonewild, nice to see you posting again.
prolly, are you done now? You got quite a roasting last week.
Daniel,
G means "Gay" right? Since you're the arbiter of gay, I was hoping you could help me. If I'm wearing a red belt with white shoes, should I wear white socks or red ones?
Thanks in advance!
I really got fed up of the first 2 seconds of that kid on his fixie!!!!!! great quiz tho!
Y'all have to read Daniel!'s blog to infer exactly what he meant.
He be in homlan' securitay bustin' a cap in Osama's mama's ass, 'cause he's an original G rappin' on da Windoze X to the P. Ya'll.
His comments read like he wrote them with a thesaurus.
Broomie --
I don't know the answer to your fashion inquiry to Mr. Daniel!, but on a related note:
You can only wear a red belt with white shoes if you are over 70 and living in South Florida.
The belt must be worn with your pants hiked up just below your chest.
The ensemble is suitable for dining out prior to 6 PM to take advantage of the Early Bird Special.
I leave it to Mr. Daniel! to tell us whether South Floridian seniors wearing these colors will be accepted as Bloods or disrespected as mere wannabes.
But I can report that prominent senior Las Vegas entertainer Wayne Newton has denied recording as Blood affiliated rapper Lil' Wayne.
Mr. Newton's press agent insists they are two different people. Industry sources are skeptical.
I would like to point out to everyone that Chris Boardman opened my Dentists.
http://www.wvdp.co.uk/Practice/about_practice.htm
that sales video made me want to do violent things
cooler fixie trix
http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=ISJjxsh7mZ8
Commiecanuck got it exactly right. She is stretching her back to relieve the discomfort caused by the disparity between her saddle height and her handlebar height. Proper positioning is key. She could shave off a few precious seconds per kilometer in a long time trial with a few simple adjustments, even more than if she shaved her beaver to make it more aerodynamic.
............Nice..^_^v................
Post a Comment