Worst of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads, #3

Good news for those of you in the New York City metropolitan area. If you're looking to get a textbook-perfect fixie poser machine in time for the weekend, here it is. And it can be yours for a mere $500. You won't have to get your hands dirty (or pay your local shop to get their hands dirty) changing a thing--this is as if the collective aesthetic sensibility of the Lower East Side, Williamsburg, Bushwick and Greenpoint coalesced into tangible form and posted itself on Craigslist. Sadly it is not NJS (or even a track frame), but my guess is that the owner is selling to finance a purchase that meets both the aforementioned criteria:

Custom Fixed gear peugeot 56cm Deep V's - $500 (original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/bik/357343822.html)

Reply to: [deleted]: 2007-06-21, 6:32PM EDT

I'm selling my custom peugeot fixed gear 56cm. It was sandblasted and profesionally powder coated.

I look at fixedgeargallery.com like any bike obsessive, and I am constantly surprised at how many people spend good money powdercoating beater frames. Why gild the mediocre lily, only to lock said lily unprotected to a city bike rack? (And why is the bike locked up in the for-sale photo? Did the guy lose the key? If you agree to buy it, does he then pocket the money and say, "Well, here's the catch...")

The frame is purple and the cranks, fork and gooseneck are black.

Gooseneck? I see no goose in this picture. By process of elimination, though, the only other black thing on this bike besides the cranks and fork is the stem, so I assume that is what you mean. By the way, you did take excellent pictures, so the colors (revolting as they may be) don't require mentioning.

Brand new bottom bracket, purple chain, MKS pedals, brand new head set, vintage deadstock Turbo saddle, Lime green Velocity deep V's, brand new tires, Flip flop hub, I have a Nitto drop handle bar and a BMX small handle bar, I will include both.

In the words of Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School, "Oh, you left out a bunch of stuff." Like what kind of cog, what's the gearing, what's the crank length, what kind of cranks are they, and so forth. But let's look at what he did mention:

Colored chains, colored chains, colored chains. If God or an equivalent deity granted me the power to ban one thing from bikes forever, I would have to do some pretty deep soul-searching to decide between colored chains and top tube pads. And you know what? I think colored chains just might win. It's also obvious to me that people who use these chains don't lubricate them, for fear of dulling their vibrant hues. I've been noticing a lot otherwise spotless fixies with drivechains that chirp like an aviary. When these guys roll up on you it's like being attacked by a flock of crows--it's getting downright Hitchcockian out there.

I needn't mention the powdercoated Velocitys at this point, unsullied by brake pads of course. What kind of hubs? He doesn't say, but does it really matter? They're lime green!

I'm glad he mentioned the other bars. I assume the Kashimax top tube protector is useful with at least one of those sets. Because right now it's on there purely for looks--those risers are well clear of the top tube, and with no brake cables they will spin like helicopter blades if you take your hands off the grips.

Lastly, I note the "deadstock" saddle is duly chained to the frame, but what about that retina-scorching rear Deep V? It looks to be unlocked. I may be wrong, but from the pictures the bike appears to be in the Herald Square area. So when you're done shopping at Macy's, swing by and grab yourself a free Deep V.