Friday, May 26, 2017

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz! (And Recess Announcement!)

[After today this blog will be on high-ate-us until Monday, June 5th, at which point I will resume regular updates.  The Bike Forecast will continue uninterrupted...except for Monday, May 29th which is Memorial Day.  Got it?  Good.]

Apologies in advance for any incoherence on my part beyond the usual amount (this blog is generally at least 40% incoherent), but the truth is I'm suffering from a massive hangover.

Sadly, this hangover is not due to excessive libation.  Rather, it's because I spent three hours steeped in stupid at last night's community board meeting, which you can read all about on the Bike Forecast:


Believe me when I tell you it's soul-crushing to spend that much time among people who are literally too stupid to get out of their own way:
And who can somehow spin drivers crashing cars into their homes into a rationale for opposing a bike lane.

Also, let's not forget the time-worn line of bullshit that bike lanes somehow slow emergency vehicle response times.  So sure, by all means keep the streets deadly, because at least the meatwagons will have an easier time showing up to scrape us off the road.

Morons.

In all sincerity the advocates who fight tirelessly for this stuff are made of some seriously high crabon moral fiber and I'm a counterfeit eBay S-Works in comparison.

Anyway, it's on that note that I'll bid you a-doo for the holiday weekend.  Please note as stated above that I won't be here until Monday, June 5th, at which point I'll resume regular updates.  I will however be person-ing my post at the Bike Forecast next week (Memorial Day excluded) so if you can't get enough of my insightful typing then rest assured you'll be able to relish it over there in the meantime.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you'll know and if you're wrong you'll see a video that is definitely a reward and not a punishment.  (You're welcome.)

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and enjoy the holiday weekend.


--Wildcat Rock Machine






1) Fill in the blank: "Reservoir _____"

--Dogs
--Dudes
--Dorks
--Freds





2) What is this?

--A fragrance ad
--A clothing ad
--A bicycle ad
--An escort service ad





3) How does the "smart bell" work?

--A button on your handlebars plays a bell sound through your phone
--A button on your phone rings an electronic bell on your handlebars
--A voice-activated electronic bell on your handlebars responds to the command "Ring-a-ding-ding!"
--It broadcasts a bell sound to drivers directly through their car stereos





4) I will be Brompton World Champion.

--True
--False





5) Of course you can get crabon wheels for a Bormpton.

--True
--False





6) In Florida, after you get hit on your bike by a pickup truck driver, you get:

--Justice
--Free health care
--A large cash settlement
--Deported





7) Adult balance bike racing is the new adult kickball.

--True
--False



***Special "Pedaling to Paradise"-Themed Bonus Video!"***





83 comments:

dnk said...

January 5?! Say it ain't so, shoeless joe!

janinedm said...

I think it must be a typo. I've done the same thing on my out of office emails. How else will he tell us of his Brompton exploits or alert us that the Fondon't is happening.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Sorry! Yes, June 5th, not January 5th. I musta caught some stupid at the CB meeting last night.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

dnk said...

I think you're right janine. Those CB meetings can be a soul-sucking experience. Snob is indeed in the post-meeting tramatic-typo zone

N/A said...

Have a nice holiday weekend all. May your rides all be epic and/or gnar.

dnk said...

I remember attending a meeting many years ago (more than 10 years back?). A meeting to discuss bringing congestion pricing to Manhattan, which would involve tolling all East River bridges and charging non-commercial vehicles for driving in Manhattan business hours M-F.

I signed up to speak in favor of the proposal but ended up leaving despondent after sitting there for hours and hearing person after person walk up to the mic to denounce the proposal. "TAX ME FOR DRIVING? HOW DARE THEY?!"

*Driving & parking should be free, b/c there is no cost to infrastructure, and no cost to congested streets...*

One person who stepped up to the mic introduced himself as City Councilmember Bill de Blasio of Park Slope. He said what an awful thing it would be to tax the hard-working people of the outer boros, how he could never support charges on the East River bridges, etc.

My only encounter w/de Blasio. I said to myself then, "I hope this asshole never runs for anything beyond City Council...."

Anyway, enough of the trip down Memory Lane. I feel for ya Snob. Thanks for fighting the fight & have a lovely weekend.

theEel said...

weed.

Anonymous said...

1. Greg must be needing some cash. Reminds me of the commercials the former 70s TV stars would do in their old age.
B) where's the rest of that exciting bike video at the end!? That looked like it was going to be an epic display of short shorts and knee high, striped Cotten tube socks.

Or did it get cut cause no one was wearing a styrofoam hat?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Missed the adult balance bike question because it seemed entirely plausible that millennials would partake of such activity.

wishiwasmerckx said...

I can't exactly put my finger on it, but there was something amiss with that video of Lemond riding his bike...

leroy said...

Oh great, now my dog is humming "Two Tickets to Paradise"... he's trying to get the tune stuck in my head.

Jokes on him.

Nothing sticks these days.

Ride safe all! Especially on Broadway.

Anonymous said...

Have a fantastic weekend Bike Snob! Illegitimi non craborundum: Don't let the bastards grind you down.

Spokey said...


decided to skip the quiznos for the first thyme. was afraid of a zero this week. i did watch the video though. is that so wrong of me? to catch the video without enduring the pain of the test?

Old Timer said...

Huh? What?

Pour some syrup on those Aunt Jemima's sized Ta Ta's said...

"you'll see a video that is definitely a reward and not a punishment."

My Guess: It's re-cum babe pedaling away with the maple leafs?

janinedm said...

In car news, someone drove their pickup truck through a wall at AnalTech and they had to call hazmat on account of the smell. While there were no bikes involved, I thought the story fit right in on this board. http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/truck-plows-analtech-odor-leads-hazmat-situation-article-1.3189762

Dept of Typos said...

My Guess: It's re-cum babe pedaling away with the maple leafs?

Typo correction: My Guess: It's re-cum babe pedaling away without the maple leafs?

bieks said...

Snob, while I'm sure you took precautions, liberally applied hand sanitizer and wore a surgical mask, maybe even a prophylactic, none of these measures are effective against the transmission of stupid. All you require is earplugs.

McFly said...

Hangover? You need to hydrate.

Paul Heckbert said...

It's sad to see an English major such as BSNYC resort to adjective abuse: "I spent three hours steeped in stupid". Speaking of idiocy...

BamaPhred said...

It doesn't seem to matter where you are, any mention of the dreaded two wheeled human powered conveyance activates the stupid gene immediately. My not so favorite is "tsk tsk tsk did you hear about that dear cyclist killed yesterday evening? So sad, but had he not been riding that bicycle he would still be alive blah blah blah. "
Farewell crabon fibre bicycle, all hail the Made in Tennessee "Dentist's Special", and I'm not even a dentist! (I couldn't resist) I may, or may not, have no shame, but it sure rides great, so I don't care.
And finally, The Cannonball, LeRound, and I certainly have something in common, and it isn't similar athletic ability........

dancesonpedals said...

janinedm for cod



ps.. I bought one of those Tennessee Titanium Dentist Bikes and it's a lot of fun to ride.

McFly said...

Dop,
"Tis a fine state that cranks out many a fine product.

Love, McFly
[Current TN Resident]

leroy said...

Dear Mr. Heckbert @2:03 PM --

My dog asked me to note that one person's adjective abuse is another's artful alliteration of mordant mellifluousness.

Sometimes I wish I had a normal dog who wagged his tail instead of his tongue.

Wag tailing is tongue-tying and tiring.

Frickus Rungus said...

I truly enjoy my visits to one of the internet's most prominent landmarks. One which has come to exemplify the spirit and freedom of all who dwell within it's lofty comment section. The sentinel known as BikeSnobNYC, Rip Torn Mug Shot, Wildcat Rock Machine, etc.

Bike Snob said...

Paul Heckbert,

Not sure what the problem is there but then again I only went to SUNY.

I do know that you should have put your period inside the quotation marks though.

--Wildcat Etc.

DB said...

I live 1000 miles from NYC but I read Snob's TransAlt Bike Forecast first thing each morning. It's some of his best work.
Have a good vacation Wildcat. Pack the epipen if you're traveling to the back country.

Die free said...

Pimp my Bromptom with carbon wheels....

The sentinel known as Rainier said...

Hey, get out of my lofty shadow!

Dooth said...

The CB meeting needed to hear this: " listen. you old farts, cars kill. Bikes make you fit enough for sexual activity."

leroy said...

Dear Mr. Dooth @5:24 PM - My dog asked me to note, however, that I am proof that nothing overcomes a lack of personality disorder.

Hey, wait a minute....

babble on said...

And I am living proof that while you are only young once, you can remain immature indefinitely. I am also a testament to Better Living Through Chemistry.

Dope IS for dopes, after all...

bad boy of the sooth said...

How did you find that clip of Walter Cronkite's unknown younger brother,Ted's report?you know,Ted,from Uncle Walt's"and Ted's the way he is."?

bad boy of the sooth said...

Oh,and have a safe weekend y'all.

Spokey said...


I do know that you should have put your period inside the quotation marks though.


hmmm. not sure that's true there snobster. doesn't it have something to do with whether the quotation is a sentence unto itself (or some such drivel)? Otherwise something like Mr. Trump, you can "quote me". properly has the period outside the quotes?

But then again i went to class (only occasionally) on the banks of the raritan. and that was so long ago that the school didn't admit those pesky women. so maybe your version is correct post franklin's language mangling was done.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Spokey, wrong, wrong, wrong. In proper American English, the punctuation goes inside the quotation marks.

Very Slim Pickens said...

Janine @ 12:49 zooms in for the win.

Spokey said...


wiwm

put forth the effort to look it up and youse right of course. appears i am too enamored with those peeps across the pond (or up north as my reading seems to indicate they're a tad schizo about it and may do it either way).

N/A said...

#whatgrammaryourunning

JLRB said...

remember

Fight For Your Write said...

All this talk about proper English and punctuation makes this sound like a period piece.

Anonymous said...

Poo pee in my bum bum hole

William Faulkner said...

Punctuation what's that

Louis Ferdinand Celine said...

The little dots...that let you pause...for dramatic effect... then shout at the reader... and mumble incomprehensibly afterwards...that's punctuation

Pucktuation Mark said...

Hockey games have three periods...

McFly said...

The Predatory Predators of my Nashville did not fare so well. I'm no Hockey Fred but the Stanley Cup is the Stanley Cup.

What's a hockey Fred called anywhoo?

JLRB said...

McFly - What's with the catfish?

Hockey Fred = Phuckhead?

Signed,

A.Pens.Fan.

McFly said...

It's some deal they started in Nashville in aught 3. I did a little background on it and didn't really come up with anything conclusive.

Hey it's better than throwing urine.

dnk said...

Anyone ever hear of a NYT-affiliated website called "The Sweethome"? It purports to recommend the "best gadgets and gear for people who quickly want to know what to get."

Except, WTF? They have a list of the best commuter bikes, and they all suck.

dancesonpedals said...

Catfish? I'm going to guess it's a regional riff on the Detroit tradition of throwing an octopus on the ice. (in old playoffs there were 2 rounds, best of seven....eight wins=Stanley Cup)

Anonymous said...

http://sportsnaut.com/2017/05/predators-fan-tossed-dead-catfish-facing-criminal-charges/

dancesonpedals said...

I guess NHL stands for "No Fun League"

wishiwasmerckx said...

I was puzzled about why Snob took off the entire week, then it dawned on me... tomorrow is the holiday of Shavuot.

Of course...

Anonymous said...

I'm wondering if he will return early to cover the most serious shooting incident in pro cycling since Greg Lemond. Another setback for the sport.

Very Slim Pickens said...

Anom 959 Meanwhile, also in Denver

"A Boulder District Judge on Tuesday sentenced a woman who struck and killed a cyclist while driving drunk last year to the maximum sentenced allowed — 12 years in prison."

JLRB said...

DOP - Thanks for the octopus explanation - I always wondered why they did that in Detroit. Maybe catfish have 16 barbels?

JLRB said...

While trying to figure out what shooting happened I came across an article about Julian Dean getting shot by a pellet gun in the 2009 Tour de France - interesting bit "Due to the intricate anatomy, a specialized hand and trauma surgeon removed the foreign body."

Didn't know specialized branched out into surgeries.

Spokey said...


so why all the crappy whether during snobbie's high-hate-us?

i'm starting to get dee-pressed

No Criminality said...

“Having reviewed the affidavit involving Mr. Waddell as well as the television coverage of the incident, District Attorney Zappala has made the determination that the actions of Mr. Waddell do not rise to the level of criminal charges. As such, the three charges filed against Mr. Waddell will be withdrawn in a timely manner,” said Mike Manko, a spokesman for the Allegheny County District Attorney’s Office.

Spokey said...


spokey-d too soon. sun came out and i had a nice ride. not even one driver pulling out in front of me, right hooking, or even threatening me. i hereby retracts me earlier complaint.

1904 Cadardi said...

"A Boulder District Judge on Tuesday sentenced a woman who struck and killed a cyclist while driving drunk last year to the maximum sentenced allowed — 12 years in prison."

Again, I ask: Why isn't drunk driving considered non-target specific premeditated murder?

BamaPhred said...

Maybe Danny "Shooter" Summerhill will just start stuffing catfish in his bibshorts, to chuck at hillsides, when he is having a bad day and needs to vent.

JLRB said...

Read the TA for the content - come here for the no Face book commentariation

To continue highjacking the idle site with hockey - I imagine a record number of catfish will have their lives cut short for Saturday's boxing match with sticks

McFly said...

They got their asses handed to them last night. I saw a spot on the ice melting under Carrie Thunderwood when she sang the National Anthem.

McFly said...

[Keith Urban to Nicole Kidman] "Carrie wants to have a threesome with us...."

Nicole: "But I'm straight Keith."

Keith: "So is spaghetti until you get it wet and hot."

Anonymous said...

Of course you're not hung over from booze. Everyone knows that Jews don't drink!

Catfish Hunter said...

I am the original Catfish chucker. Accept no substitutes.

Anonymous said...

Show them the pride, bring it to the bridge!

Cat(fish) Stevens said...

Tonight the White House is serving Catfish cooked over coal, excuse me, I mean clean energy coal.

Anonymous said...

Who is the mtb Jesus?

ZZ Top said...

Jesus done left Chicago, bound for New Orleans

JLRB said...

Ann Lily - You nailed it - Yes, do keep up the decent work. No more of that indecent stuff.

What's so bad about bottom feeders anyhow?

Race to the Bottom said...

Fossil fuels create millions of jobs for the hard-working coal miners and oil field workers who have been cheated into not going to college and spending hours in the vape shop.

Give the gift of economic prosperity to our children. A beautiful planet to our grandchildren.

Now let's go I-V some heroin and watch Fox News.

Make America great (again)!

JLRB said...

You mean Faux News

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laying on the river bottom mud said...

3 Catfish to 1 Penguin so far

Catfish Chunker said...

Fly, my whiskered pretties, fly!

Dat Fish Got Big Whiskers said...

The catfish live to swim another day!

More cowbell and more catfish.

JLRB said...

Ice ice baby - nothing like a seven game series - 2-0 seems so hopeless 2-1 geometrically closer

My flightless waterfowl took a beating - the catfish chuckers got their money's worth (hats to believe how much people were paying for tickets!)

BamaPhred said...

Catfish, the salmon of the South.

JLRB said...

On a sadder note - so sorry to see cars getting used as WMDs again - peace and love to London and beyond

dop said...

That Cuozzo dude is a communist futtbucker.

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