Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Today's Post Will Be Short But Short

I realize you may be looking for Internet content that offers temporary respite from world events.  Alas, today's post needs be short owing to the vicissitudes of blah blah blah and so forth.  However, just to keep you up to date on a few things:

Firstly, you are looking at the new Brompton World Champion:


This is because I just registered for the race, which takes place on Sunday, June 18th, and obviously I'm going to win:

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The Brompton World Championship returns to North America this summer, and it's coming to New York City!

The uniquely competitive and singularly sartorial event will be held during this year's Harlem Skycraper Cycling Classic.

The race will begin at 2:15 pm sharp. Donning their finest formalwear, competitors will take off with a Le Mans-style start, running, unfolding and mounting their Bromptons, before racing ten laps around Manhattan's Marcus Garvey Park.

The winner of this race (who will be me) is then flown to London for the finals, which of course I'll also win.

This means the BSNYC Gran Fondon't, which will be held on [DATE TBD], is now merely a training ride for my inevitable win...unless I decide to hold the Fondon't after the World Championship, in which case it will be a victory ride during which I can showcase my rainbow pant cuff retainer or whatever honorific vestments the reigning champion gets to wear.

And between now and race day I must contemplate the big question:

Flat pedals or clipless on the Brommie?

It's not a question of performance, mind you, it's just that the former will allow me to wear my Vittoria shoes, which they sent me way back in 2009:


And which I typically break out for special occasions, such as L'Eroica:


Now to figure out how to fit a Gruber Assist into a Brompon.

Secondly, turning to world bicycling news, this happened:


PALERMO, Italy — A mafia boss was gunned down while riding his bicycle in Sicily on Monday, judicial sources said, in what appeared to have been the sort of mob killing that has become rarer in recent years as dangerous figures have been locked up.

Giuseppe Dainotti, 67, had served more than two decades in jail for murder and robbery, as a member of the Cosa Nostra mafia, before being released in 2014.

Investigators believe at least two hit men, probably on a motorbike, approached Dainetti and shot him in the neck, a few hundred meters from the scene of another mafia murder in 2014.

Living in New York it's not unusual to see these sorts of people in the wild, though the idea of one of them riding a bicycle is almost unthinkable.  Naturally my first thought was "So what kind of bike was it?"  I mean was he cruising around down, or was he off on a full-blown Lycra-clad Fredo ride?  Of course consulting a popular search engine quickly yielded an answer:


I guess if you're a Sicilian mob boss your choice of transport is a tough call.  Motor vehicles might hide you from view, but are susceptible to car bombs:


Whereas bicycles are harder to sabotage yet leave the rider vulnerable to point-blank shootings, as was the case here.

Still, two things are certain: 1) Had the mob boss been wearing a helmet this wouldn't have happened, since nothing bad happens to people who wear helmets; 2) The mafia in America should take to riding bicycles, since then they'd be free to kill each other on a daily basis without law enforcement so much as lifting a finger to investigate.

And finally, there's a City Council candidate in Brooklyn who basically wants to legalize parking in bike lanes, and you can read all about it in the Bike Forecast:


Wow, what a putz.

Okay, now time for some Brompton training.  See you tomorrow.

Love,


--Wildcat Rock Machine


42 comments:

bad boy of the sooth said...

Firstish.

Anonymous said...

Podi-odi-odi-oooo

wishiwasmerckx said...

Podiodiodium!

dnk said...

Are you gonna wear your suit?

If so you may not win the race but you will score a lot of free hotel stationary.

They used to call me Fred (really). said...

I swear it looks like an IKEA bike.

leroy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
leroy said...

My dog observed "helmets, shmelmets" and wishes to point out that for years of public outings in NYC Vinny "the Chin" Gigante sported a bathrobe and slippers to great effect from the standpoints of style, safety, and a viable legal defense.

Fergie said...

What the hell do you mean, "It's not about performance"!?!

Ride to WIN dammit!

Also, I noticed on the Performance Bikes website that RDBlocks (Wheelie Master) is used in the photo for "BMX Bikes". I wonder if he knows...

Anonymous said...

"event will be held during this year's Harlem Skycraper Cycling Classic"

I'm not sure what a "skycraper" is, but oddly it seems appropriate for this race...

Stump said...

BROM PTON

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Scranus.

Anonymous said...

What do you want to bet that putz is all asshurt that he got a parking ticket?

Old Timer said...

Huh? What? What's happening?

Blunchbelly said...

Think how extra dead that Mafia guy would be using rim brakes.

Die free said...

Any true Bromptomer would be contemplating which Tweed jacket to wear on such an outing not which pedal (answer of course is flats with wingtips BTW)...

McFly said...

Clipping in on a Brompton is like sucking a titty through a sweater.

Anonymous said...

What McFly said
&
Thanks for the time travel link to you wearing hippy pants and a skirt.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Top twenty pack fodder scranus!

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

What is the best thing to put Marcus Gravy on?

Michael Corleone driving an Alfa Romeo 6C around post WW2 Sicily would be like a having a flying car today. Not the way to go incognito at all. If Fabrizio hadn't been bought off, word would have gotten out that he was hiding there. Too bad Appolonia was collateral damage, she was way hotter than Kaye. And if you see Kaye......

bieks said...

Hey, you should be a shoe-in for the win, unless any former grand tour winners or other dopers show up to the start line.

Hey if the mafia in North America started riding bikes it would improve cycling's image. Think about it - maybe we'd finally be a step up from being the Rodney Dangerfield of transportation choices.

dnk said...

Come to think of it, Quaglione looks like a mafia boss....

Il Pirata es Mort said...

Kevlar neck warmers from Ralpha in 3...2...

Anonymous said...

I'm waiting for the Ikea bikes to go on sale.

N/A said...

Once you're a world champeen, you're not going to become insufferable are you Wildcat?



dancesonpedals said...

?!?- What, you never saw a guy stretch his tube before?

Campion del Mondo has a nice ring to it.

Anonymous said...

There is probably a head in that green bag on the Boss' bike.

Bromptonaut said...

I'm looking forward to meeting you at the Brompton World Championships in London on 29th July. Are you going to join the 100-mile closed road Fred ride on Sunday?

Fit your Brompton with SPD pedals and the cleats on your Vittoria shoes, your Cambium saddle from old man Brooks, strip off the mudguards along with your dignity and you'll be good for the 10 mile dash round Buckingham Palace in under 26 minutes. Easy.

It used to be a fun event for British eccentrics when they ran it at Blenheim Palace and Goodwood in years gone by, but now it's a limited-place balloted entry crit race that folding Freds take really seriously. Still a good laugh, though.

The Mafia King of Park Slope said...

ALFR EDOH

Anonymous said...

Excuse my ignorance... with Brompton racing, are you required to disassemble and reassemble the bike during certain intervals? I also envision a requirement to gracefully get on and off a crowded light transit system.

BTW, I read somewhere that during light breeze tunnel testing, tweed has .00002 the cubaziliance of lycra... not sure how this converts to race day conditions but it may be worth checking out.

JLRB said...

Stay above the fold

bieks said...

Anon 3:56, it's like the old timey car races where they had to run to their cars and start them to begin the race. You run to your bike, unfold it and ride off. That and the dress code.

Oh, and Snob, I stand corrected - you can still win the race even if a grand tour winner / doper shows up.

Anonymous said...

Can we get Casey Neistat to make another video, with John Quaglione riding on his handlebars?

Possession is nine-tenths of the law said...

...and wishes to point out that for years of public outings in Italy Mario "Cipo" Cipollini carried around a pocket full of condoms to great effect from the standpoints of a viable legal defense.

Anonymous said...

While choice of shoes is important don't forget to starch your collar for aerodynamic efficiency as well as keeping up appearances.

Stiff Rick said...

In these sprint races, the lateral rigidity of the Brompton's bottom bracket must be a factor. Have they incorporated a press-fit oversized BB yet?

BeerDrivenCyclist said...

36st scranii

bad boy of the sooth said...

Another scranny day in nc.

janinedm said...

I never thought I'd post a link related to the Kardashian/Jenners anywhere, let alone here. But this video of one of the Gen2s eating it on gravel is a delight no one who rides bikes should miss. https://www.instagram.com/p/BUIsomUFfid/

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