Wednesday, January 25, 2017

It's Wednesday and here's an entire post about a bike review that made me angry.

Bicycle helmets and disc brakes for road bikes have a lot in common.  For one thing, they both inspire lots of tedious debates.  For another, on one side of those debates you have people who may or may not care for them personally but ultimately don't give a shit whether anybody uses them or not, and on the other side you have people who think anybody who doesn't use them is an idiot with a death wish.

Take me for instance.  I don't care if you wear a helmet or not, nor do I care if you use disc brakes on your road bike or not.  On the other hand you have Outside magazine, who are actually telling people to throw their rim brakes in the trash:


(Via a reader.  Thanks reader!)

Okay.  Firstly, is that Bret?


Sure looks like him--except Bret somehow manages to defy time and space even with rim brakes.

Secondly:

Each time I write about the proliferation and advantages of disc brakes on road bikes, a litany of naysayers parry. Common criticisms: disc brakes are unreliable and finicky, heavier than rim varieties, hinder aerodynamics, fade because of overheating, prevent fast wheel changes, and are dangerous when ridden together with rim brake–equipped bikes because of the differences in cornering speeds and stopping times. Most of these arguments are refutable.

Yeah yeah yeah.  Feather your dick breaks there, Aaron.  Let's talk about that headline first.

As someone who wades hip-deep in bicycle reviews day after day I have developed a high tolerance for bullshit over the years, but telling people to "throw your rim brakes in the trash" is downright offensive.  For many of us, riding bikes is one of our greatest pleasures in life, and the shit you need in order to do it ain't free.  Even I, a world famous semi-professional bike blogger, must proffer legal tender in exchange for consumables such as tires, tubes, cables, and sundries*.  Keeping my bikes running well is a commitment of both time and money, and I value every minute of cycling time I'm able to fit in between my many responsibilities.  Indeed, I don't just value these minutes, I cherish them.  Furthermore, I'm grateful for all the bike stuff I have, and I make sure to get as much use out of it as possible.

*[What's a sundry?  Do I need one?  How much do they weigh?  Do they come in crabon?"--Some Fred somewhere, probably.]

Meanwhile, here comes some guy who reviews bikes for a glossy magazine you flip through at the dentist to tell me I need to "throw my rim brakes in the trash."  Really?  Which rim brakes?  The ones that have been stopping me predictably for years?  The ones that require virtually no maintenance safe for the odd two-minute pad change and occasional cable replacement?  The ones I can visually inspect for pad wear at a glance?  The ones I can adjust with the flick of a finger while riding?  The ones that let me change my wheels in seconds before heading out for a ride?  The ones that have never, ever failed me?  Those rim brakes?  You want me to throw them in the trash?

And what happens when I do throw them in the trash?  I need a whole new bike, don't I?  Not only that, but pretty much all the spare parts I've accumulated over the years are also useless, aren't they?  Wow, that's a big and expensive commitment!

But you know what?  I'm a person who cherishes his riding experience, and maybe that initial outlay of time and money (thousands of dollars at least) will be worth it.  After all, this guy writes for an established magazine that publishes the work of respected authors with integrity whose work means a lot to me.  He must know what he's talking about when he tells me to throw what basically amounts to my entire bike in the trash.  So maybe I'll hear him out:

The other common argument I hear against discs is that they are a solution to a problem that doesn’t exist—rim brakes work fine. (Having descended countless wet mountain roads on carbon wheels with rim brakes, where stopping power all but disappears, I beg to differ.) But rather than simply continue to rail on the subject, this year I decided to put the debate to our test team in Sedona, Arizona, by offering up two comparably spec’d bikes—one disc, the other rim—for comparative feedback.

Ah-ha!  There's the problem: "wet mountain roads on carbon wheels."  Why are you using carbon wheels?  Nobody who is not a sponsored full-time professional bike racer should use carbon wheels.  Yes, of course they brake poorly in the wet, and disc brakes on road bikes are mostly a solution to the problem of using carbon wheels.  Professional athletes must deal with this problem because they must use bleeding-edge equipment in pursuit of those "marginal gains."  (Or, more accurately, to distract from what's really increasing their performance.)  The rest of us do not, and if we do anyway we're simply spending extra money for absolutely no reason.

Hey, I readily admit there are reasons to use disc brakes, even on a road bike.  Maybe you want that extra clearance.  Maybe you're a "modulation queen" who simply can't live knowing that there's another system out there that feels a little bit nicer.  Maybe you ride in horrendous weather conditions day in and day out and go through rims like the rest of us go through brake pads.  Or maybe you just think they're nifty.

I totally get it.

But while there are reasons to use disc brakes on your road bike (not "throw your rim brakes in the trash" reasons, but sure, reasons), there is not a single valid reason to use carbon wheels.  Not one!  Aluminum rims are fantastic regardless of which braking system you use.  If you ding them you can often bend them right back into shape.  They last a long time.  They're cheap.  They're light.  And if you do use aluminum rims and disc brakes your rims will last approximately until the end of time.

On the other hand, carbon rims are...what, lighter?  You think that makes a difference?  Firstly, you need discs to make them stop predictably so there's a chunk of your weight savings right there.  Secondly, you're overweight and you suck, and even if you weren't and you didn't (but let's be honest, you are and you do) that weight difference doesn't mean shit.

Oh, wait, I forgot: you can also make carbon rims into the shape of a whale's scranus or something, so there is that.

What can I say?  If that's a structural property you value then you're beyond saving.

Still, as a cyclist looking for the best riding experience I can get my scranus on I'm willing to hear this guy out to the end of his article  It's a bold claim after all, and there's still time for him to back it up.  (Also the dental hygienist isn't ready for me yet, and the only other magazine is about golf.)  So let's hear his rigorous testing protocol:

On one side, we had the Trek Domane SLR 8. Since the new Dura Ace 9100 wasn’t available at test time, this is not a stock build, but a one-off we received earlier this year. It’s equipped with Dura Ace 9000 parts (including rim brakes), upgraded Bontrager carbon Aeolus 3 clinchers, and stock 28-millimeter Bontrager tires. The bike weighed a feathery 15.3 pounds.

On the other side was a stock Trek Domane SLR 7 Disc, which comes with Shimano Ultegra Di2 components, Shimano RS805 hydraulic flat-mount brakes (which were the company’s top model prior to the release of the new Dura Ace 9120 and 9170 models), alloy wheels, and 32-millimeter Bontrager tires. It weigher more than two pounds heavier at 17.6 pounds.

Okay, so the rim brake bike has the carbon wheels and the disc brake bike has alloy wheels.  Isn't that backwards?  Didn't he already establish carbon wheels don't stop well with rim brakes?  OK, here's an idea: switch the wheels.  Oh yeah, you can't!  The wheels aren't compatible.  So let's proceed with a test that's already doomed to failure:

Despite the SLR 8’s clear weight advantage, testers unanimously preferred the SLR 7. “They are both comfortable, quick, and super fun to ride,” one tester said. “But I feel more confident on the disc version.”  Testers found the modulation on the discs more nuanced and subtle, with just a slight touch of the brake providing microadjustments, while the rim breaks took much more effort and were less predictable. Most people commented on how much less hand pressure it took to stop with the discs than the rim variety. Several testers even swore that disc brakes made them faster, saying they could hold speed longer into a bend on the SLR 7 because the brakes’ responsiveness and finesse allowed them to slow later, which meant coming out of the turn quicker.

"Clear weight advantage?"  The "heavier" bike is still sub-18lbs.  Also, I've ridden disc brakes on the road and yes, they do feel nice.  Still, the rim brake bike has those carbon wheels.  Did you try it with different wheels?  Of course you didn't.  But you did spell brakes "breaks" at least once, so there's that.

And let's talk about that perception of "confidence."  Sure, the discs might have contributed to that.  But what about tire size?  The rim brake bike had 28s, the disc brake bike had 32s.  That's a significant difference, and certainly one that would affect your perception of "confidence."  (And I'm not even going to ask #whatpressureyourunning.)  For fuck's sake, this "test" has more holes in it than my knee warmers!

But let's press on:

Even though all testing was in a big group, we had no collisions or accidents due to the mix of rim and disc brakes. You simply learn how each performs and adjust your riding accordingly.

Miraculous.  A bunch of magazine Freds managed to ride in a group and not crash.  Also, I'm shocked that each type of brake does have its differences in feel yet ultimately performs well--even rim brakes on carbon wheels.  Too bad I already threw my rim brakes in the trash.

As for durability, the discs have held up fine for four months of testing without a bleed or an adjustment. We also had zero days of inclement weather, which I imagine would have amplified the preferences for the SLR 7 given that the carbon rims on the SLR 8 feel far less confident in the rain. (A fact I discovered subsequent to the test.)

I should damn well hope the discs held up for four months.  Only a magazine reviewer would find this worth mentioning.  Also, good thing you had those discs so you could experience their superior performance in the foul weather you never experienced.  Meanwhile, given that the SLR8 feels less confident in the rain due to those carbon rims, are you ever going to try it with different rims?

Of course not.

While this isn’t a scientific inquiry, it did convince me again of disc brakes’ advantages. They won over our group of testers, too. Even the hardcore road racers in the group preferred discs. On the day we took on Mingus Mountain, a 4,000-foot hill climb west of Sedona, there was a morning scramble for bikes with disc brakes. The only models that weren’t chosen were rim varieties. “A long, winding descent like that? You definitely want disc brakes,” said one avid road racer and tester. And I heard no reports of brake fade on that long descent.

You're damn right it isn't scientific.  It's a heap of anecdotes from a bunch of maga-bros, which I guess is pretty much the definition of Outside magazine.

As for that rim brake bike?

That’s not to say that the SLR 8 is a bad bike. I rode it for the better part of six months as my primary road machine, and it is absolutely fantastic. I’m sure I would have made easy work of the Mingus descent on it. As critics say, rim brakes work fine, especially the high-end versions on this model. Discs simply work better.

It was your primary bike for almost six months, which is pretty much an eternity by maga-bro standards?  It is "absolutely fantastic?"  Well why the hell are you telling people to throw their rim brakes in the trash then?  I had a really great meal at a very expensive restaurant not too long ago and you don't hear me telling people to throw away the contents of their refrigerators.

Do I think disc brakes work well?  Yes.  Do I think eventually most performance bikes will have them?  Yes.  Do I acknowledge that one day even I will probably have a road bike with disc brakes?  Yes.  Do I enjoy posing rhetorical questions?  Emphatically so.

But come on, this review was even dumber than that New York Times story about the daddies in Montclair who had to look after their own kids.

We should demand an apology from Outside.


109 comments:

N/A said...

Woot, early post!

N/A said...

I like to tuck a pinch of my sundries in between the cheek and gum!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Last podium spot!

Schisthead said...

Can't blame them.

They're sick of people saying "Throw Outside magazine in the trash."

Of course, we all know what belongs in the trash...

Grump said...

Snobby, you forgot the main reason your average Fred rides on Carbon wheels. They know for a fact that every rider that passes them will think that they have a larger penis than they really have. That what it boils down to. Bike component manufactures have known about "alternate facts" for years now.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Post podio...




vsk

Bryan said...

Choke on dick (brake) Outside Magazine

leroy said...

Yesterday's post pictured an Aussie Road Rager performing analingus on a pig.

Today's post is paean to rim jobs.

My dog says he's sensing a theme.

Sometimes he's such an asshole.

Conrad said...

Amen! Don't throw away your obsolete bikes. Give them to me.

wishiwasmerckx said...

A downhiller friend of mine inherited a pro's last-year downhill bike with disc brakes. They require CONSTANT maintenance and adjustment. What a pain in the ass.

It has been objectively established that disc brakes stop better than rim brakes in wet conditions, but I live in the desert where it never rains, and when it does, we stay inside and watch asian porn instead of riding.

JLRB said...

Damn you peeps are quick - pre-luncher and I still fell out of the top tennis

Anonymous said...

Noisy disc brakes that need periodic bleeding, creaking threadless bottom brackets, carbon rims that delaminate or peel. I wish I had money to upgrade my old steel bike that doesn't have any of these features.

JLRB said...

ps - I can see Crane Freds from my window - they have YUGE balls hanging from cables twenty stories up within sniper range of the Whitehouse - RESIST

Somehow it makes up for the azzhead cabbie who flipped me off then tried to run me down during the morn commute

bad boy of the north said...

Watch out for sundry drivers.

bieks said...

First of all, you should have no less than 25% and no more than 33% of your bikes equipped with dick breaks. Also, you should have a semi-spendy venty helment for summer use and a cheap-ass, not so venty helment for winter use. This is what I do and everything else is wrong. Of course, when I say this is what you should do, what I really mean is keep doing what your doing because I just want to be judgmental. Okay, maybe I'm not actually that judgmental - except when I see a tridork, but that's just my survival instinct.

Jimmy Onion Carter said...

You people made me give up my little peanut farm and Billy Beer?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Good post today Mr. Snob.

For the first time in a long time I got out my obsolete 26" rim-break equipped bikecycle for a little ride. It was nice. Like you say- the rim stoppers worked great just like they always do.

No helment either. Even rode in my jeans and New Balances.

janinedm said...

I have mechanical disc brakes on my Clubman (no non-disc option). It's fine. The part of the review that gets me is this, "Most people commented on how much less hand pressure it took to stop with the discs than the rim variety." You can adjust the levers on rim brakes (and drum brakes for that matter) to be a bit tighter. It is no big whoop.

Chazu said...

Let the political comments flow. Just don't talk about personal financial independence.

Pist Off said...

I really can't imagine a road rider "needing" dick brakes. And no one needs carbon rims. It's all about the Freds and dick measuring. I use and like dick brakes on my mountain bikeway. I would still have a mountain bike and ride in the mountains without them, just like I did in the 80s and 90s and 00s.

Schisthead said...

Oh yeah, I LOVE sundry tomatoes.

FR8 said...

My FR8 doesn't seem to have any brakes but stops just fine!

Vend403 said...

I reckon I'm pushing the envelope by running drum brakes.

CommieCanuck said...

Yeah..it was not that long ago that the pro peloton all used alloy wheels and frames, and historically, the times on the precise exact same stages were actually faster. Lesson: spend your hard earned money on dope.

Even today, pro riders switch to alloy wheels in descents and especially wet descents.

[places on propeller beanie]

Goal of optimal brake design is to increase swept area per revolution, which means making the disc as large as possible, which means, ideally using the rim. They can't do this in motorcycle racing because of the extreme heat which would damage the tire. On bikes, the rim disperses heat better than a small disc. Rim brakes can be made too powerful, which is why road races bikes don't use cantilever brakes.
[now places on BSNYC foil hat]
Fed on pure bullshit, this industry has now convinced the consumer they need a $12000 bike, with ever-changing parts parameters that has abolished the standardization of the past. The only way they will go back to marketing alloy frames is if some new bullshidium alloy can be made more expensive than crabon (meanwhile, crabon material cost have dropped dramatically, yet not frame costs).

Will a full crabon gravel bike with dick breaks make you faster than a steel framed bike from the Eddy Merckx era? Nope.

Scott C. Pope said...

Your analysis is, at the very least, thorough....

Nice job.

Anonymous said...

Let's take braking advice from someone who admits he hits the breaks inside a corner and not before..

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Crabon layered with aluminimum such that it doesn't have such a shocking failure modeway when the peloton is mixing brakeways.



vsk

DJT said...

That guy from Outside should run my investigation into voter fraud - results will confirm hypothesis.

now where did I put my Showers Piss jacket?

wle said...

yeah but - isn't that the same as EVERY bike component review?

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

30tg Scrani?

HivemindX said...

Kind of sounds like he should be telling everyone to throw those carbon rims in to the trash no?

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...fuck Outside and this douchebag. I just came back from the bike store pissed because they charged me $7.65 for a single shifter cable. Now I gotta chuck my whole bike. Fuck you. And fuck your dics breaks.

...Spot on Snobs.

Anonymous said...

Mingus mountain? More like Dingus mountain.

Frickus Rungus said...

Today's post was nifty!

I'm probably going to die soon, since my commuter has a dual pivot, long reach rim break on the front and a mechanical disk break with a 203mm rotor on the back. It's a miracle that I am able to stop at all...

Wesley Bellairs said...

Go to a bike show. Look around. See those guys in North Face sweaters and $250 skinny jeans and Ray Bans? You know they have BMW payments and private school tuition to pay. They have a 4 BR casa on a cul-de-sac, those ain't free. And unless Fred is forking out $4500 for a crabon frame that costs $32 to produce that show is over. So quit bitching about the bike industry, Man. You are jammin the scene.

Gecko said...

FWIW hydraulic modulation is spectacular, but I still prefer mechanical for simplicity.

The only bike I own with discs is my 15-year-old MTB.

N/A said...

It's hard-hitting journalism like that article that makes me miss my subscription to Outside. Hahaha, jk, jk.



Though I don't have have a bike with dick breaks, I don't think I'd purposefully avoid one if I was buying a new bike. If I had a choice between two otherwise similarly-built bikes and the only difference was dick vs. rim breaks, I'd go for the rim job. On account of these reasons: One(1)[uno], I am not extreme enough to need dick breaks and two(2)[second one] I don't want to fart around with anything that requires special maintenance procedures and the annoyance of special brake pads. I can go to a big-box store and get rim brake pads in a pinch. With that said, the "learning curve" of dick breaks seems to have flattened out a bit, so I'm not ascared of them anymore.


Crabon wheels, however, are not for me, no way, no how. I'm a big guy, and them shits still scare me.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

The publisher of Outside must be giving Rodale Press a run for its money to
Rock bottom. Pro Tip: find a dentist with free wifi, toss Outside in the trash and read bikesnobnyc online!

Old Timer said...

Huh? What?

dnk said...

Fuck it, I'm throwing my kids in the trash along with my rim brakes.

Fuckface von Clownstick said...

Disk brakes are ruining this country. Stop the carnage. Sad! #MAGA

Fuckface von Clownstick said...

I meant rim brakes! Fuck it, I don't even know what I meant. Absolutely horrible --- millions of innocent babies lost! What a shame!

Bluezurich said...

Best fucking rim rant! Love the Fred's not crashing in a group ride bit.

N/A said...

If you think about it, brakes are stupid anyway. Firstly, they're meant for slowing you down. Who wants that? I want to go FASTER. Secondly, they're heavy, and weight isn't FASTER. And thirdly, remember when you were a kid and your bike had shitty coaster brakes that you never maintained and they went from "shitty" to "non-existent" so when you got where you were going you just jumped off your bike and ditched it in the yard? That's all you ever need to do. Did you die when you were a kid with no brakes? No? Me neither, so there you go.

Drock said...

When the cycling team in Cuba get dick features I'll try them, mean while you can send me your rim brakes rather than filling the trash bin.

Justine Valinotti said...

I think you shouldn't ride carbon fiber anything unless someone else is paying for it (i.e., you are sponsored by a team).

This is what you should throw in the trash: "Outside". And "Bicycling". And all of those other outdoor and sports magazines that are really delivery systems for advertising. Oh, and your "Livestrong" bracelets, if you still have those.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

I just tie an anchor to my seatpost and heave it overboard when I want to stop.

janinedm said...

This sort of think always reminds me of that Simpsons where Principal Skinner says, “Am I out of touch? No, it’s the children who are wrong.” I just imagine some cyclist staring at their bike after falling off of the back or crashing avoidably and thinking, "Am I in bad/mediocre shape and/or don't know how to ride a bike? No, it's the components that are wrong."

1904 Cadardi said...

When Shimano unleashed the dual-pivot caliper brake on the world rim brakes suddenly stopped not being powerful enough. Ever since rim brake progress has slowed. The introduction of disc brakes was met with squeals of delight from the bike press, or course they wouldn't have to bleed the darn things.

ubercurmudgeon said...

The main reason for disc brakes on road bikes: so that Freds can discuss #WhatViscosityBrakeFluidAreYouRunning

Anonymous said...

All in all we're just bricks in dons wall

Or dicks at the mall

Or dick breaks for all

bieks said...

janinedm - it's always someone else's fault. Going to start calling people out for being Trumpy.

Anonymous said...

Disc brakes for road bikes (Avid bb7s) have been around for 15 years at least.
The same people who now try to sell you disc brake road bikes, have been selling you
bikes with shitty brakes for all those years.

The King of Park Slope said...

Outside is still a thing?

Scratch that ... Magazines are still a thing?

CommieCanuck said...

If I had a choice between two otherwise similarly-built bikes and the only difference was dick vs. rim breaks, I'd go for the rim job.

Ooo...there's a phrase for a BSNYC cap: Go for the rim job.

boys on the hoods said...

Maybe Anthony Wiener could send some pictures of his dick braeks to Outside.

CommieCanuck said...

I just tie an anchor to my seatpost and heave it overboard when I want to stop.

#WhatAnchorYouRunnin

Hee Haw the Barista said...

Commie from Canuckistan said

"Yeah..it was not that long ago that the pro peloton all used alloy wheels and frames, and historically, the times on the precise exact same stages were actually faster. Lesson: spend your hard earned money on dope."

Awesome.

Anonymous said...

Who could turn the world on with her smile

Spokey said...

i'm tossing my rim jobs in the trash as soon as the new ones that have been sitting on the workbench since last year are put on. and i usually keep the old stuff thinking i'll have a spare part when of course i just go out and buy a new part when needed.

and so the new biek i've had for a little over six months should be tossed? or should i be burned at the stake for speccing cantilevers for it?

Joh said...

I think that is bret

bad boy of the north said...

thanks,MTM,for all the laughs.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Screaming M.A.F.A.C.s are state of the art.


vsk

Spokey said...


the things i learn here. sad to hear about mary.

Anonymous said...

I guess they were starved for content that month & Aaron hasn't been pulling his weight so he splashed something together on this topic. I agree a rim braked bike with Carbon fiber rims and 28mm tires(brand?) is apples and Oranges to a disc Braked bike with 32's! So different in fact that why bother at all!?
I agree disc brakes are likely going to take over and I'd love to say I hate them, but I actually don't; they are great! It's taken me awhile to warm to them though they do have some annoying habits, but then so do rim brakes.
Also I have not noticed wheel swapping to be a big issue once you know how to adjust the brakes quickly, assuming the wheels are appropriately similar (i.e.: both Shimano road spaced wheels), it's amazingly easy & possibly no adjustment needs to be done at all. In fact the ability to take off your 700C wheels with thin tires and throw in some 650B's with a bit fatter, cushier tires is a big plus for disc brake bikes. Apparently, ole Aaron does not mention that at all!? - Mas

From the Dead Sea Scrolls said...

Performing Cunnilngus on a pig isn't Kosher.

Hair Furor said...

Holes in the knee warmers, eh? Too many Rim Jobs!

1904 Cadardi said...

Is this the same Outside Magazine that so highly spoke about L'Eroica in Italy and the various offshoots? Disk brakes are forbidden, yet they waxed so eloquently about riding an old steel bike with aluminum rims and normal calipers.

Journalistic hypocrisy!

Like Makin' Whoopee said...

Janine at 1207 "It is no big whoop."

The only big whoop is Makin' Whoopee.

On the same subject, I bet Babble knows a thing or two about hydraulics.

JLRB said...

It's days like these, when protests disrupt vehicular traffic, that I am especially glad to be traveling by bicycle.

Bike helmet worshipers are A-holes said...

All the helmet and disc brake worshipers have to offer is their anecdotal evidence. The statistics say helmets do not increase safety, and certainly say that rim brakes are more than O.K. for almost all people. The only two people who have died in Canada and U.S. on bike share bikes were wearing helmets.
The problem with anecdotal evidence is that it is not true. There is plenty of anecdotal evidence that cigarettes are good for you (just search "cigarettes are good for you").

Anonymous said...

It's a simple business case: magazines, like Outside, rely on advertisers... advertisers decide where to place their marketing $ based on number of eyeballs... advertisers want to up-sell braking/breaking systems that bring in more revenue. In other words, the conclusion of this article was written well before the research was ever done.

When can we expect your blog post about Trump's impact on bike frame production? You know the story, a good bike is going to cost $20,000 now instead of $10,000 because Trek and Specialized™ have to use expensive 'Merican labor but we're all going to be swimming in disposable income because we'll have stable jobs making crabon frames but the cost of butter will quadruple because of the high tariffs on imported emulsifiers which will eat away at disposable bike income....

Outside Magazine Douchebag Collective said...

We're sorry! This was just a fake news click bait worthy headline which has no connection to reality.

Anonymous said...

I really like visiting Montclair in the spring and watching inept fathers attend to their children's needs after they have spent the winter investigative reporting. By the way, Hans anyone seen Ted?

Spokey said...


i hear ted is outside checking up on voter fraud

Anonymous said...

Ted better look out for drones and other technologies of the authoritative state. I mean Specialized of course.

Anonymous said...

I am a bike shop mechanic. I attended an overall informative and helpful tech presentation from SRAM/Zipp this very morning. I spent the first part of the presentation wondering what the fuh an item on their table was. Looked like mannequin plastic. It was later used as a demonstration piece to talk about whale scranus. It was a 3 foot model whale fin. The world makes no sense.

Dooth said...

Keep rim jobs on our shores. Preferably, in motel rooms.

pedantic twat said...

I think dick breaks have become a shibboleth...which have the stopping power of ultegra

scranus said...

scranus

Capt. Hornblower said...

The best anchor to use is a Danforth, far better holding power on soft bottoms and easier to stow. All you old school types should throw your yachtmans in the garbage!

Anonymous said...

Attica Attica

babble on said...

HAAAhahahahahaaaa. :D
This is the sweetest little space on the interwebs. Spot on, Snobberdoodums. Thank you for that. Heh heh heh. Um, and Leroy? You are a genius. Heh. I needed that. :)

The not so vented foam dunce lid (for riding the 61lb high heel and tight skirt accomodating upright Electra - you know, the beast with the DRUM BRAKES THAT STILL STOP THAT MOTHERFUCKING HEAVY BIKE AFTER 10,000 MILES ON RAINFOREST BLANKETED MOUNTAINS!!) Yeah, well that dunce cap is well placed on this head, cause I can't for the life of me figure out how the onion article quaifies as satire. Waaaay over this healmented head.

Whew! Marathon day. Long gone are the days when wearing a Chief of whatthefuckever cap, or your Director's hat, meant you actually earned a living wage. Mind, only computer programmers and Chinese housewives can afford to live in Vancouver. At least Sydney took our silver medal this year. Ha! Saw a quick little video of an Asian teen filming the damage from a broken pipe on "their floor" of the Shangri-La. Carpets ripped up, etc. His mum was all "This will not do! So she went out for the morning and bought a house to live in during renovations." Sigh.

Ran into a lovely old friend of mine in town for the big mining convention, a man on the team who found the Ekati diamond up north, CEO of a gold jr now. He hasn't seen a paycheque in 6 months, and he was on half pay since 2011 before that. World renowned Geophysicist.

Someone should sign the Golden rule into law, so that Bankers who walk off with millions of dollars in bonuses trade places with those tellers who are always first in line for the chop! Ah, and speaking of bank tellers: I feel sorry for the folks in the rust belt who lost as many of their jobs to automation as to NAFTA. There are a lot of companies in the supply chain on your side of the wall to come whose employees depend on that agreement.... the mind boggles.

Funny, cause all you have to do is a) switch from resource based to service based (education, health care, arts and innovation) economies and then b) institute a basic income, so that everyone has what they need to afford a reasonable standard of living, and it's remarkable to watch the transformation which occurs. Health and education outcomes skyrocket, reducing enorously the costs to society created by the burdens of poverty and crime ... and surprisingly, everyone's productivity is vastly improved. It's wonderful to see. The results are well documented in places which have instituted poverty reduction strategies.

Or you could just elect an oligarch who says he intends to slash everything but the military. Yay.

Moor or Less said...

Ahoy, Capt. Hornblower.
The Danforth is for drag queens. You must have been aweigh for a while because those in the know, swear by the CQR.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Capt. Hornblower,

I am always interested in a soft bottom

McFly said...

Mingus Descent sounds like a punk band.

Just kidding said...

Voter fraud investigation reveals trump didn't win after all

Fake 'n Bake said...

Hydration key to golden showers

House the people living in the streets said...

If only it were so simple

Vote Early and Vote Often said...

Directly Above: "Voter fraud investigation reveals trump didn't win after all"

White males with no college voted Trump 66%-33%. That's not a landslide, that's a blowout. Not to worry though, the Donald is bringing their jobs back from Mexico just as soon as he scraps NAFTA and all of the automation is ripped out of their former places of employment. Hope those 66%'ers aren't holding their breath waiting.

dancesonpedals said...

'just kidding' is going to grovel & say he didn't mean it

Bubba's Will Wake Up said...

Vote Early - They are holding their breath and will fire his ass in 4 years

JB said...

"Disk brakes for all!"
[BOO!]
"Very well. No disk brakes for anyone!"
[BOO!]
"Disk brakes for some, miniature American flags for others!"
[Cheers!]

dancesonpedals said...

Did I miss Fap Tuesday?

Anonymous said...

Fap?!?

Freshman Arts Program?

Family Advocacy Program?

Dick Breaks, Dick President said...

Vote Early and Bubba's

Bet he doesn't run in four years, because the hand writing will be on the wall long before election day. Hell, he may not even last four years.

The Donald says he may hand pick reporters for his news conferences. Joseph Gobbels would be proud.

bieks said...

Dick breaks are for leased Hyundais.

JLRB said...

I prefer cantilever brakes on my Hyundi

Anonymous said...

99

JLRB said...

Cuntery

wle said...

Maslow's law of the Fred: "if all you have is a BIKE PIC, everything looks like a BRET"

McFly said...

Tomahawk says to suck on it.

Mo B Dick said...

"Whale Scranus". You had to go there Snobby. Some things can't be unamagined. Definitely laterally compliant though.

Anonymous said...

Artisinally curated sundries - go fund me start up campaign soon to follow

Anonymous said...

If your bike doesn't have disc brakes then you are a fucker. Review complete. Where do I collect my check?

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KRW Injury Lawyer said...

When I first rode in Sedona seven years ago, I liked the riding but found it a little monotonous, with short climbs and descents punctuated by square-cut step-ups and -downs.

Tom G. said...

this article says more about the sad state of Outside Magazine. I once had a subscription and, this before the internet really took off, they ran some decent articles - even had a bit of John Krakauer's excellent book Into Thin Air. But then I noticed most of the Magazine's stuff was fluff about fluff (Ex. "Best Down Jacket for High Altitude Navel Gazing"). It's all there to make the advertisers happy and do product placement. This is especially true when they "profile five blablabla branded blablablas" Only five? Where are the other brands? Well folks they didn't pay/ payoff the mag, so they might as well not exist. As far as these brakes? Disks work a tiny teenie bit better. But introduce an entirely new line of wheels not compatible with the millions of rim-brake bikes. Bad for cycling overall, but not as bad as the three plus three-fat size wheels we now have for mountain bikes.