Now you do:
Yes, after a one year hiatus I will be returning to the Philly Bike Expo--Philadelphia's premiere bike expo--where I will give a seminar!
I sure hope Seminar Room 107 has good acoustics.
Also, keep in mind that the first three rows will get wet, and all attendees will have to sign a waiver indemnifying both the Expo organizers and me in the event of any injury caused by (poorly) trained sea lions.
I may also give a live Fun Quiz to make up for the dearth of them on this blog of late. Rest assured that if I do administer such a quiz I'll bring prizes for the contestants. Some of the prizes will be valuable merchandise such as books and caps, and others will just be stuff I've got in the house, like low-wattage light bulbs and boxes of stale crackers. And if you don't win anything from me you can always try your luck again at the bike theft seminar:
I should probably attend it myself since my street smarts clearly need some honing.
And to diminish my street cred even more I may go multi-modal and travel to Philly by rail and clown bike:
Since last time I was down there I totally lost THE CAR THE BANK OWNS UNTIL I FINISH PAYING THEM BACK.
So be there or be somewhere else.
Speaking of a bunch of bike nerds getting together to dork out in a large indoor area, Bike Kill happened this past weekend:
There's something slightly depressing about a bunch of "adults" who are stuck in the anal-expulsive stage of development, though the mutant/freak/tall bike/whatever-they-are gangs are downright endearing compared to the geriatric motorcyclists who emulate "The Wild One" starring Marlon Brando:
Police say members of the Pagans and Hells Angels began fighting around noon on Sunday in the parking lot of the Pennysaver Amphitheater in Farmingville. Officers managed to break up the brawl and disperse the groups.
Police say two people were taken to hospitals to be treated for injuries. No arrests have been made.
Newsday reports a large puddle of blood could be seen on the ground after the fight.
I sure hope nobody broke a hip.
No mention either of whether or not the Satan's Helpers were involved, but it's always tragic to see blood spilled due to a violent outburst that could have been easily quelled by a man-child in giant shoes:
I'd also be lying if I said I didn't kind of want to see a bicycle gang brawl. Just imagine if a bunch of road weenies in Lycra showed up at Bike Kill on crabon Fred Sleds and they all got into a highly choreographed "West Side Story"-eque dust-up. In fact, I may attempt to adapt this idea for the stage, because it has the potential to be the next "Hamilton"--which in turn gives me a good casting idea:
Naturally I'll tap Michael Ball for the costume design, assuming he's not too busy helping with the Trump campaign or whatever he's doing now.
Lastly, in cultural news, noted bicycle painter Bob Dylan has finally acknowledged his Nobel Prize:
(The Freds they are a-changin'...)
I take full credit.