Friday, December 11, 2015

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

Dooring:



It's the bane of cyclists everywhere.  Even though it's the driver's job not to open his or her door into traffic, dooring is yet another potentially fatal traffic situation that's become Entirely Our Problem.  This is because most drivers are generally too addled, inconsiderate, or just plain stupid to meet even the most basic responsibilities of operating a motor vehicle, such as looking before opening the fucking door.

This is not going to change anytime soon.

For this reason, I was encouraged to see a Kickstarter campaign for a "dooring alert system:"



Too many bicycle-related Kickstarters involve superfluous electronic devices that complicate stuff that's already easy, such as opening a u-lock.  Dooring, on the other hand, is a situation in which electronic devices could potentially make a huge difference, since the one thing they do pretty well is pay attention to the stuff we refuse to acknowledge.  So I excitedly speculated about how an electronic anti-dooring system might work:

Would it scan the area behind the car for oncoming cyclists?

Would it prevent the door from opening until the coast is clear?

Well, it does have a seatbelt and brake-activated camera that monitors the door zone:


So this alerts the driver not to open the door because a cyclist is approaching, right?

Nope.

All it does is turn on a stupid Knight Rider light on the windshield, and after that it's the cyclist's problem:


"The signal is visible from significant distances in both night and day conditions, ensuring the rider has ample time to take evasive action."

What?

Is this Jeremy Clarkson doing a bit?

How is this any better than what we've got now (which is nothing)?

Firstly, light or no light, it's the driver's responsibility not to open his or her car door into traffic.  Period, the end.  Secondly, even if it wasn't, how is that "visible from significant distances?"  You can hardly see it through the glare on the windshield!  Thirdly, people put all kinds of flashing crap on their cars, so as a cyclist why would you associate this with an opening door?  I'd just assume this was one of those dumb fake alarm lights people put on their dashboards.  And, perhaps most crucially, WHY IS IT IN THE FRONT OF THE CAR?  I'm against salmoning, but the one thing it's got going for it is it's pretty hard to get doored that way.

This isn't safety equipment, it's the kind of shitty accessory you'd find at the car wash next to the air fresheners and dashboard hula dancers.

Leave it to a couple of people from the world's least bike-friendly country to design anti-dooring device that basically tells cyclists to go fuck themselves.  I look forward to their next project, which will be a warning light for guns that flashes just before you get shot.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right a meaningless light will go on somewhere, and if you're wrong you'll see someone telling it like it is (using some NSFW language).

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and and assume every stationary car contains an idiot who's about to fling the door open and pounce.


--Wildcat Rock Machine





(Typical Masters cyclist.)

1) British Masters champion Andrew Hastings blamed his positive doping test result on:

--An imported nutritional supplement
--An erectile dysfunction treatment
--A tainted haggis
--A used syringe he borrowed from a stranger at the gym






(It takes two disembodied hands to hoist a Rivendell.)

2) Rivendell's retail store is called:

--Bike, Book and Hatchet
--The Luggery
--Ol' Man Petersen's House of Ferrous Velocipedes and Canvas Curios
--The Lug N' Tug






(Fred humping another cycling "innovation")

3) Which is not one of Gizmag's top 10 cycling innovations of 2015?

--Electrochromic sunglasses
--An automated suspension fork adjustment system
--A wireless dropper seatpost
--A chamois with built-in dehumidifier






4) What is "Wavetrans?"

--A transgender cycling club
--A new gear shifting system
--An automated handlebar-mounted hand that waves at other cyclists
--An undetectable blood booster supposedly making its way into the pro peloton






5) Find the shining helmets and you will find the team.

--True
--False




6) Why is he so happy?

--His Brompton has a motor
--His Brooks smells of British heritage and ass sweat (it takes a trained nose to tell them apart)
--He and his bicycle can finally practice the love that dare not speak its name
--All of the above





7) This fat bike mudguard doubles as a boot tray.

--True
--False



***Special Folding Fixie-Themed Bonus Video!***



A folding fixie?  It's so uncool it's...no, it's still totally uncool.

130 comments:

Matthew Weigel said...

Looks like #4 is off...

Anonymous said...

podiation yo.

Anonymous said...

Early dooring!

Ted K. said...

91. Also, science and technology constitute a power mass movement, and many scientists gratify their need for power through identification with this mass movement (see paragraph 83).

O'4fuxake said...

Defective quiz, I want my money back.

You're slippin', Snob.

Anonymous said...

Just cruising along, gonna Ace the quiz, then BAM!

It's the blogging equivalent of getting doored.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. MachineCat,

The anti-dooring light is on the rear window of the car, not the windshield. It's still stupid though, I'm not arguing with that.

Helton Moraes said...

Robert de Niro is creating dumb stuff at KickStarter. Wow.

Watch Hollywood Movies Online said...

Awesome! Great link.

Synonymous said...

Fred can hump that cycle because there's no pressure on his scranus. I liked the pictures today. Gonna go back and read the words now.

Anonymous said...

"A folding fixie? It's so uncool"

How about a folder coaster brake bike? Fewer or possibly no cables to get caught in the fold/unfold.

ubercurmudgeon said...

To many people the dooring problem, if they've ever stopped to think about it at all, has already been solved by... you guessed it, the helment.

I'm just glad my one and only dooring occurred decades ago, when car doors contained none of the motorized mirrors, cup holders, side impact air bags, leather, and devices to make the pleasing thud noise that drivers now expect in all but the cheapest vehicles. I hit with such speed that I taco'ed the flimsy car door, leaving the driver in need of a taxi to get home. Nowadays, I'd be in need of an ambulance to hospital. But I learned my lesson to take the lane, regardless of how many impatient motorists behind behind me rev their engines. Those younger than me are less fortunate.

JLRB said...

Hardly done with my morning trump

Anonymous said...

I'm going to get accused of victim-blaming, but you have to admit the driver who has just parked in the bike lane has just put up a giant SUV-sized sign that says "Look out! I am an idiot and don't acknowledge the presence of other sentient beings!" and needs to be given a wide berth by cyclists, motorists, pedestrians, rollerbladers, etc, etc.

This is kind of like when you pass a semi on the Thruway late at night whose driver has clearly run out of bennies a while ago. Wait for a straight stretch, hug the left shoulder, and gun it.

Anonymous said...

I took three bennies and my semi truck won't start..

bad boy of the north said...

yep....like Hitchcock's film...the stupid light was in the"rear window",prolly driver's side....ya know, like in real foreign cars.

P. Bateman said...

Let's scream at them on 3...one..(FUCK YOU!)...two...three...FUCK YOU



bad boy of the north said...

but that's okay....I didn't ace todays quiz.and I probably won't tomorrow,either.
perhaps that was due to my stopping at some bar in midtown manhattan.the place was named after some large man-made body of water in northern Westchester.a nice old railroad bridge transverses said body of water.

Eric the Infrequent said...

I still want a Rivendell.

Anonymous said...

Ted K. ruins everything

Dorothy Rabinowitz said...

The bike lanes that are begriming our city should be converted to stress-free door-opening zones.

Thomas Edison said...

A light that goes on when the driver's seat belt unbuckles? Pretty much the same technology that make the light go on when you open the refrigerator door.

More to the point, the same technology that is already in cars to make the fasten-seat-belt light and buzzer work, but in reverse.

crosspalms said...

Seal up the driver's side doors and make them get in and out through the moon roof.

Li'l Abner said...

"Seal up the driver's side doors and make them get in and out through the moon roof."

What ifen your truck ain't got no moon roof?

dop said...

I was reaching deep into my suitcase of scranus, but still muffed the quiz.

Who in the world in 2015 would:
1) Be so stupid as to inject with a borrowed needle
2) Think this sounded plausible


NHcycler said...

To quote crosspalms:

"Seal up the driver's side doors and make them get in and out through the moon roof."

I admit that I chuckled at that right away, but then I thought "Wait, I've got a car with a moon roof!"

The collective "We" of the bikecycling subculture don't want something else to make life more difficult.

NHcycler said...

I do understand crosspalm's comment was sarcasm!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Sweet woody in the angry man video.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Question #6 -All of the above. That's great!

Have a nice weekend Snobbie and all yalls and enjoy the warm weather.

Bob Patterson said...

Lug and Tug...hmmmm. Sounds vaguely sexual.

dnk said...

Loved watching "Mick" in that Kickstarter vid. And yet: horrible idea.

Eric the Infrequent said...

http://gizmodo.com/ban-cars-1737654991

The complete raving, spittle flecked comments are so amusing to me.

Anonymous said...

The solution to dooring is an app that calls the PT Cruiser crackhead of Bumfights fame when a door is crashed into by a bicycle.

ChamoisJuice said...

Now that penis transplants are possible I am thinking of donating my for the betterment of society, but I am not sure if anyone would actually want it.

Keith Gaunt said...

Hmmmm. Maybe take a closer look at the car. That's the back of the car not the front. Hint, they drive on the left side of the road in Oz land.

Anonymous said...

http://velonews.competitor.com/2015/12/news/transgender-athlete-barred-from-mens-race-at-cross-nationals_390837

http://bikeportland.org/2015/12/10/local-transgender-racer-told-she-cant-race-mens-championship-event-170078#comments

Of all the grave injustices going on in the world this one deserves to be near the top of the list. Especially since she tried to race as a female after taking male hormones years ago.Thank God this also landed on the home page of Velo News, gender~busting revolutionaries like this are sure to bolster Portlandia’s image as a community who is unafraid to challenge social norms and who embraces important issues like this that will pave the way for a American city where everyone is treated equally.Look at how great Portland is: A transgender athlete gets headlines for challenging social norms in a sporting event. Meanwhile I’m Saudi Arabia homosexuals are still routinely executed. At least we can focus on local sexual identity issues and hopefully they get a lot of publicity and the rest of the world can follow our morally superior example.Unfortunately this important issue of transgender equality often gets buried by other issues that don’t even have any apparent solution: climate change, religious extremism, ocean acidification, pollution, water & resource scarcity, and over population.

John A said...

There is already a warning light for guns. 186,000 mps. Flash boom

Ted sux said...

Just skip to the end asshole Ted K. impersonator:

The worst thing about the Unibomber was that he killed and injured innocent people who were in no way important to the industrial machine. He was just some bored sadist. But also his manifesto wasn't even a manifesto, it was just vague musings, where he often contradicted himself in the very next sentence. And in conclusion he admitted his whole treatise was BS. Just a meaningless sadistic asshole.

"FINAL NOTE

231. Throughout this article we’ve made imprecise statements and statements that ought to have had all sorts of qualifications and reservations attached to them; (YES, BECAUSE IT IS ALL TOTAL BULLSHIT!!!!) and some of our statements may be flatly false. Lack of sufficient information and the need for brevity (NEED FOR BREVITY?????)made it impossible for us to formulate our assertions more precisely or add all the necessary qualifications. And of course in a discussion of this kind one must rely heavily on intuitive judgment, and that can sometimes be wrong. So we don’t claim that this article expresses more than a crude approximation to the truth.

232. All the same, we are reasonably confident that the general outlines of the picture we have painted here are roughly correct. Just one possible weak point needs to be mentioned. We have portrayed leftism in its modern form as a phenomenon peculiar to our time and as a symptom of the disruption of the power process. But we might possibly be wrong about this. Oversocialized types who try to satisfy their drive for power by imposing their morality on everyone have certainly been around for a long time. But we THINK that the decisive role played by feelings of inferiority, low self-esteem, powerlessness, identification with victims by people who are not themselves victims, is a peculiarity of modern leftism. Identification with victims by people not themselves victims can be seen to some extent in 19th century leftism and early Christianity but as far as we can make out, symptoms of low self-esteem, etc., were not nearly so evident in these movements, or in any other movements, as they are in modern leftism. But we are not in a position to assert confidently that no such movements have existed prior to modern leftism. This is a significant question to which historians ought to give their attention."

trama said...

A few years ago:

Lady flings door open and I smash right the fuck into it. She hops out yelling and all enraged. Her door is fucked up pretty badly. Cop shows up, writes it all down. I get a big check in the mail. How you ask? Well, I was in a four door sedan at the time of course. Drivers have rights.

Anonymous said...

233. (from prison) my ass is really sore.

Ted K. said...

Anonymous at 10:23 AM

"Ted K. ruins everything"

Everything? Including sex? Does Ted K ruin sex for you?

Anyway, for those who may be new here, the "point" of the Ted K comments is to say something just as meaningful and related to this blog as PODIUM! or SCRANUS!

Anonymous said...

that dooring video made me cringe. Been the victim a few times myself (stitches and broken ribs) and it is a constant fear.

babble on said...

I'm with you, dop... what kind of idiot injects himself with a used needle, period, never mind a stranger's needle??? Winner of the Darwin award, that one.

And re: doorings - um, yes. I stay out of the door zone, too. It's a survival thing. And one simple solution which they teach drivers in the Netherlands (heh, I love that word:) is to open the driver side door with the opposite hand, thus forcing the driver to shoulder check.

From earlier in the week? Mr Figners? Here! Thanks for asking... :) xo xo

Mr Snobberdoodle? I am pretty sure it's saline these days, and not silicone. (with respect to the new and improved boobie.) And hey, it's saline! What could possibly go wrong?? Thanks for another week of fun and games, Wildcat. I totally failed the quiz, though, because WHAT KIND OF EEJIT INJECTS HIMSELF WITH A STRANGER'S SYRINGE???

Captain Obvious said...

Hey Ted K. you stoopid fuck-o fuckface asshole - those PODIUM and SCRANUS! comments are funny. You, on the other hand, are a stupid, pedantic asshole impostor who apparently thinks it's cool to glorify the mad ravings of a cowardly murderer. Fuck off and die.

Frickus Rungus said...

I'm going to invent a device that emits all possible remote locking "lock" commands for all brands of cards continuously as you ride along. It would lock all occupants in their vehicles until you had passed safely by.
It could also have an option to trigger the panic alarm of every car you ride by...
Kickstarter anyone?

Anonymous said...

I got doored and woke up on a stretcher in the middle of the road with my head immobilized surrounded by fire trucks, cop cars, and the EMTs debating on whether or not to take me to the brain trauma unit. And yup, it was a hit and run. A driver doored me and then saw me unconscious in the road and decided to just leave.

Grump said...

The guy who got doored is an idiot. The woman asks him if he is alright, and he says "I'm fine".
He should just lay there and moan..."ow, my spleen----I can't feel my big toe". After a trip to the ER, by meatwagon, he should be able to draw this incident out to a $10,000 settlement. Pain and suffering can add up.(along with every component on his bike being "damaged" in some way, that could cause future catastrophic failure)

Anonymous said...

The light is on the back. Australia is left hand drive, so you are looking at the rear-right of the car.

Jimmy the Greek said...

What's the over/under of the number of "The lights are in the back" comments we get today?

N/A said...

Traffic in Australia runs on the wrong side of the road, so those lights are in the back.


YEAH, I'M IN THE TOP TEN TO MENTION IT!

Anonymous said...

Now that I know that Teddy K is actually pointing a satirical mirror at the podium dorks, I really like him!

Also, don't want to get doomed? Don't ride in the door zone. Yes, it would be nice if people were more considerate, but anyone who says that his/her safety is someone else's responsibility is a moron. The guy in the video was not a victim. He made a mistake. Law of the jungle, man. It shouldn't be that way, but it is. Putting one's foot down and declaring that it should be different is just a whiny tantrum. I got doored once. Just once. I learned from it and it won't happen again.

leroy said...

Well what are the odds. I narrowly missed being doored just this very morning.

Actually, the odds for getting doored are pretty high in favor of the dooring. My odds of narrowly missing are okay, but getting slimmer.

For real thrill seeking though, it's pretty hard to top last night's commute.

I got stuck at an intersection in the theater district with a pedicab cyclist who assured me that was Hillary Clinton's motorcade crawl by.

Channeling my inner Bill Murray, I cheered "Yeah, let's run some red lights," which got a smile from a young woman riding shotgun -- probably literally -- in one of the support vehicles.

So there's that. Which is nice.

Ride joyfully all!

Anonymous said...

TED K HAS GIVES BALL CANCER!!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:22pm,

It is sometimes unavoidable to ride in the door zone, especially in the city. Sure, in hindsight the guy could have avoided it. At the same time when it's a situation where there's a double-parker in front and and oncoming traffic behind you're forced to pass close. Someone flinging their door open in your path is not much different then them running a red while you're in the intersection. Should you be on high alert for both? Yes. Are you any less if a victim if they manage to nail you anyway? No.

--Wildcat Etc.

1904 Cadardi said...

I had a Volvo sedan and my bike easily fit in the trunk after removing both wheels. I bet I could de-wheel and stow faster than Mr.Look-at-my-folding-fixed-gear. Admittedly my bike has gears and a freehub so I wouldn't be a hipster when I pulled the bike out and started riding. So that's two wins for me.

Also, sweet baby Jesus what kind of idiot shares a used stranger's syringe? Dude is either too stupid to live or lying. Either way, DQ.

dop said...

Ted K ruins everything? That could be the next great meme. Like I need another meme. Thanks Ted K.

Anonymous said...

I'm guessing the point of WCRM's post on the door/light thing, is that the driver is now absolved of all responsibility of checking visually before opening his/her door. "Hey, bike-jerk, why'd you hit my door? Didn't you see the light?!"
(I don't think anyone would buy it tho, because, why would he/she spend any money to 'help' out a fucking bicyclist?!)

I could be wrong. Have been many times before. And I don't see it stopping anytime soon.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:49pm,

Yes, that's pretty much it.

--Wildcat Etc.

1904 Cadardi said...

Speaking of Volvos, the Volvo 850 had lights on the door edge to warn passersby of an open door. Accomplished using the same switch that turns on the dome light. Amazingly advanced for the pre-kickstarter era of 1991.

Roille Figners said...

Yowch, that smarts, even through the screen. Well at least they were also parked in the bike lane forcing him out into traffic to be doored.

DB said...

Hope all the New Yorkers enjoy SantaCon.

BPsucks said...

Kinda interesting how much longer it takes to read non-conventionally spaced text, even though the meaning is entirely unambiguous

SaltyMike said...

Time to aim the danger back at the drivers and bring back suicide doors. "Lambo" style doors also accepted, if thats what they think is cool. Also punishes salmoners!

NHcycler said...

John A said: "There is already a warning light for guns. 186,000 mps. Flash boom"

Not sure, but I don't think there's quite enough time to react when you see it...

Anonymous said...

The smallest, lightest folding electric bike on the market

Theodore said...

Hey WC, anonymous 2:22 here. In retort to your retort (yes, I am retorted) you say, "someone flinging their door open in your path…" and alls im sayin is, there ain't no doors in my path. If I'm forced to take a lane, cool. But I'm not putting myself in the door zone. Now, of course, there are exceptions, like when I'm filtering past stopped cars at a light or something but, as I said in my earlier comment, I've been doored before and it won't happen again so in that scenario (or any other where I'm in the door zone) I'm going slow enough or taking whatever precautions I need to not get doored. I won't leave my safety up to some grazing, bleating, auto-cattle than you would leave yours to the foam-hat (helme{n}t) makers. Am I wrong?

WryGuyHi said...

The Ted K bot isn't here to inform, educate or entertain. It's here to take podium, which it does with more consistency than Lance with a bloodbag.

Snob's line about the most bicycle hating country in the world had me confused - the Jeremy Clarkson character is clearly British accented. Dooring videos are international. Other countries drive on the left. But there it is in the last shot - a helmet little training cyclist a few minutes away from getting splattered by a Melbourne tram.

Theodore said...

Furthermore, to say being doored is like a driver running a red light, hitting you, well, I disagree. I think that it's more like you running a red light and getting hit. You put yourself in the doorzone, you get doored. Yeah, it'd be nice if the asshats could learn to turn their heads and actually look, but cmon, man, let's be real here.

Anonymous said...

http://www.businessinsider.com/brett-favre-bike-custom-trek-madone-2015-12

When did Obama start riding mountain bikes??

Anonymous said...

Theodoor,

"You put yourself in the doorzone, you get doored." That's right. And you'd be wise not to wear suggestive clothing because getting raped while you're lying on the ground after getting doored will be your fault too.

NHcycler said...


Theodore said: "Furthermore, to say being doored is like a driver running a red light, hitting you, well, I disagree. I think that it's more like you running a red light and getting hit. You put yourself in the doorzone, you get doored."

I believe the context is important here. My experience in urban commuting is in the small cities of New Hampshire, not NYC, LAX, or London, UK, et alia. Most of the time, I can claim the lane without undo fear of annihilation. Therefore, I take more of the responsibility upon myself to avoid the door zone.

I don't know what it's like attempting to share the road with big city buses, taxis, and type A maniacal drivers…well, that last category I do know.

Anonymous said...

Trauma @ 1:06 - my older brother is a bit of a pathetic soul. In his instance, he was the instigating doorer of the oncoming car that was the dooree, and his insurance also had to pay. Luckily he only damaged his car door, and the dooree car, not himself.

Anonymous@2:49 and WCRM - Also, a Kickstarter campaign for aftermarket installation of these things will never lead to widespread adoption and the Auto-Industrial Complex that gave us jaywalking isn't going to spend the money to install these devices even if they do put the blame back on the cyclists.

dop said...

Guy in the video got doored,. Thanks Ted K.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Theodore,

Where do you live? I'd be interested to know. In a busy city there are times you're not going to be able to avoid the "door zone." Furthermore, your assurance that you will never get doored again borders on hubris. Ever have a passenger decide to leave a vehicle while it's in the middle of a street in slow traffic or at a light?

But sure, only suckers get doored, right?

--Wildcat Etc.

P. Bateman said...

i'm kind of into dooring. but only in the sexual sense.

Anonymous said...

Anno 159 - Amazing, "Door and Run". Really makes you wonder about some people (I presume this would never happen in Canada). Leroy, Hill must have been on the way to one of the tower's of the billionaries for a 10,000 grand an appetizer plate fundraiser. But she won't owe these people anything, will she? She'll be the Sheriff of Wall Street, sure she will be.

Dooth said...

I saw a Doors tribute band called Crystal Ship at Hammerheads in Long Island back in 1981.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Just this very day I thought about how I would like to invest in a new idea. Lo, and behold, here is one seeking to develop a device marketed to self absorbed, unawares motorists who feel a need to rush out to Auto Barn and spend 30 bucks on a device that Warns cyclists that the aforementioned motorist is a douchebag. The kind of douchebag who will spontaneously open a car door in your path, but is thoughtful enough to offer a lame, barely intelligible warning beforehand. Count me in!

Doc Sarvis said...

No one is innocent

Earth First! er said...

Hey brother, how ya doin' on stamps?
Stationary?
Dynamite?

Arizona redneck said...

At least he did something

Anonymous said...

[URL="http://hudsoncountytv.com/a-bicyclist-who-was-unable-to-stop-is-struck-by-vehicle-in-north-bergen/"]A bicyclist who was unable to stop is struck by vehicle in North Bergen[/URL]

[URL="http://www.northjersey.com/news/bicyclist-injured-in-north-bergen-crash-faces-marijuana-charge-1.1471982"]Bicyclist injured in North Bergen crash faces marijuana charge[/URL]

OK, so riding a bike with no brakes down a hill that runs across a major traffic artery isn't the smartest thing (perhaps less dumb than sharing a needle with a stranger), but is that probable cause to search the rider's backpack?

Notable in this story is the driver was cited for driving with a suspended license, the owner of the vehicle cited for allowing someone with a suspended license to drive the car, and the fact that the story doesn't mention whether or not the rider was wearing a helme(n)t!

Anonymous said...

I guess I don't know how to make links work with HTML tags!

Anonymous said...

Quiz must have been rigged today to bring down the class average.

Amazing Grace said...

"I guess I don't know how to make links work with HTML tags!"

This is where I done learned it.

The Dipper said...

Once I was passing a toe truck that was a big one for big trucks that was parked in a bus stop place and then the door opened and because it was a big toe truck I just ducked my head a bit and went under the door! Now I never ride too close to toe trucks.

Original Wrapper said...

Anonymous @ 4:18:

I lurve celebrity biek-riding photos! Dig checkin' out all the set-up quirks (Obama's seat's too low; LeBrawn's stem is fargin' wicked boosted! Bill Walton is YUGE! His feet make those water bottles look like AA Batteries! Etc....)

Troll said...

Anonymous @7:58, the tags you used are BBC (Bulletin Board Code) tags not HTML tags.

Troll said...

Original Wrapper, the points you brought up are not the most glaring awful points in Obama's mountain bike photo. Check the bike out. It is a full suspension mountain bike. But on the back you can see a kick stand.

Having a kickstand on that type of bike is asking to get gored. Any real MTB rider would make sure that was removed before it was ever put in the dirt.

ken e. said...

people are funny. ride safe y'all.

PION TEND
SHRP STOP
DUMI ZONE
DONT BLYD

Anonymous said...

I like to ride around with a full plastic 2L bottle (not a bidon mind you) attached to a length of PVC pipe that projects over my front wheel. If I ever get doored, the driver is gonna be wet as hell and sticky because it's red cream soda. Stains like you would not believe, even if I get hurt at least I will have some instant payback. Kind of like reactive tank armor. Plus if I decide to bonk on a long ride I can just pop it open and refuel the internal combustion engine :0

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Anonymous said...

Bike Snob, some people are claiming you ruined cycling in Portland by making everybody cynical and full of disdain. Care to comment?

Dick Tracy said...

"...but is that probable cause to search the rider's backpack?"

Typically, if the cops think an accident victim might be a perp, the befriend him/her then ask if they can look in their bag.

You may think this is an invasion of privacy, but consider these cases , in some of which the cops used similar methods.

In particular, this guy was arrested trying to cross into the US from Canada with (supposedly) enough explosive for 40 car bombs. The U.S. Customs and Border Protection guards, of all people, got him talking and he give up enough information to allow them to search his car.




Anonymous said...

Dick Tracy - whatever those people were planning to do, or seemed to be planning to do, doesn't change the fact that it was an invasion of privacy. In short, invading the privacy of a suspected terrorist is still an invasion of privacy. But if you're having trouble finding sympathy for the terrorist devil, don't worry: the main problem is actually that the police have to search thousands of innocent non-terrorists in order to finally find something and be right ONE time. Those thousands had their privacy invaded, got humiliated, got treated like the one criminal, and had the climate and character of their home land insidiously degraded. What was it we were protecting again?

Anonymous said...

FREEDOM!??!

ken e. said...

isn't the statistic that more people are killed by falling pop machines than by terrorists? build a wall to keep the strong canadian beers and schweppes ginger ale in particular, out and keep freedom in!

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

boobies

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

yahoo....my first ever hyperlink. now i am relevant!

Dick Tracy said...

"...doesn't change the fact that it was an invasion of privacy."

To which particular invasion of privacy are you referring?

I'm sure you remember from law school how important it is to know the facts of the case before trying to consider any point of law.

Knowing the fact; it is what allows to know what you are talking about.

leroy said...

100!

What I learned late last night: it is difficult to change a flat when you are tired, the bead feels like it was glued to the tube, and your tire levers are too fat. On top of that, I couldn't locate the source of the leak from the old tube or by feel. This morning I found tiny puncture on wheel side of tube. Not even a snake bite.

Oh well, could have been worse. Could have been raining.

Tomorrow will be warm. And my doctor says I'm healthy enough for a longish ride. My dog has a second opinion. But I'm not sure "lard ass" is a diagnosis.

Anonymous said...

Fact: you're a dick. Shut up dick. (not you leroy)

Anonymous said...

I mean Dick who is a dick. Dick!

Dick Tracy said...

"Fact: you're a dick. Shut up dick."

And there it is. The final retort of the ignorant.

Anonymous said...

Meanwhile, there is some bike related news: Bicycle 'should win Nobel Peace Prize'

Anonymous said...

Have you reviewed the Gi Fly bike yet? https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/227461008/gi-flybike-the-first-electric-bike-that-folds-in-o

proximo said...

Win the crowd. Win your freedom.

No One Asked Me said...

"Bike Snob, some people are claiming you ruined cycling in Portland by making everybody cynical and full of disdain. Care to comment?"

You did not ask me to comment but this being the internet I'll but in as say...

Cynical and full of disdain beat smug and condescending every time.

Anonymous said...

"isn't the statistic that more people are killed by falling pop machines than by terrorists?"

Well, this seems worth a quick looks-see. Over the last 14+ years in the US:

9/11/2001 2,996 Deaths
9/18 to 11/30 2001 anthrax letters 5 Deaths
10/2002 Beltway Snipers 10 Deaths
7/4/2002 LAX shooting 2 Deaths
7/28/2006 Seattle JF shooting 1 Death
6/1/2009 Arkansas recruiting office 1 Death
11/5/2009 Fort Hood 13 Deaths
2/18/2010 Austin IRS Plane Crash 1 Death
8/5/2010 Wisconsin Sikh temple 6 Deaths
4/1/2013 Boston Marathon bombings 3 + 1 = 4 Deaths
11/1/2013 LAX shooting 1 Death
4/13/2014 Overland Park Jewish Center 3 Deaths
6/8/2014 Las Vegas Valley 3 Deaths
12/20/2014 Bed Sty Police shooting 3 Deaths
6/17/2015 Charleston church shooting 9 Deaths
7/16/2015 Chattanooga recruit center 5 Deaths
11/27/2015 Colorado Springs PP 3 Deaths
12/2/2015 San Bernardino 14 Deaths

3080 total deaths, about 220 per year (not counting perpetrators.) All according to this Wikipedia article.

In 2013, there were 16,904 accidental deaths in the US, that were not caused by transportation, shootings, drowning, smoke, fire nor poisoning. From page 22 of this CDC report.

So 1.3% of those would have to be caused by falling pop machines for the quoted stat to be true.

A whole bunch of less reputable web sites claim the number of deaths from all vending machine (not just pop machines) in the US is between 2 and 13 per year:

Freakonomics.

WNYY Radio

Odd Facts

Urban Legends

San Fran Gate

So it could be true but I'm thinking it is not.

Anonymous said...

Page 22 of this CDC report.

dop said...

What does a Fred do, when he can't trim the tree with his href="http://i.imgur.com/aCXthw3.jpg" bicycle ornaments , because the little seat posts won't stay put in the href="http://i.imgur.com/PFElLhQ.jpg" riders' asses? He gets out his gorilla glue and href="http://i.imgur.com/OAazaSr.jpg" clamps them together. These riders are so uncool, they still wear href="http://i.imgur.com/fQwgtH8.jpg" fanny packs.

dop said...

What does a Fred do, when he can't trim the tree with his href="http://i.imgur.com/aCXthw3.jpg" bicycle ornaments , because the little seat posts won't stay put in the href="http://i.imgur.com/PFElLhQ.jpg" riders' asses? He gets out his gorilla glue and href="http://i.imgur.com/OAazaSr.jpg" clamps them together. These riders are so uncool, they still wear href="http://i.imgur.com/fQwgtH8.jpg" fanny packs.

dop said...

What does a Fred do, when he can't trim the tree with his href="http://imgur.com/aCXthw3" bicycle ornaments , because the little seat posts won't stay put in the href="http://imgur.com/PFElLhQ" riders' asses? He gets out his gorilla glue and href="http://imgur.com/OAazaSr" clamps them together. These riders are so uncool, they still wear href="http://imgur.com/fQwgtH8" fanny packs.

dop said...

What does a Fred do, when he can't trim the tree with his bicycle ornaments , because the little seat posts won't stay put in the riders' asses? He gets out his gorilla glue and clamps them together. These riders are so uncool, they still wear fanny packs.

A brief journey through html hell for one stupid joke.

Spokey said...

sorry i'm late chaps. guess i should have read the commentary. then i would have gotten the needle question right and not gotten the absolute worst quiz score of my life. Sub 50%. i'm so ashamed.

in other news for you skinflints Study says don't toss your old foam yarmulkes

Spokey said...


oh and i'm pretty sure angry man is salmoning as he complains about drivers while insisting he follows the law.

i did get to watch that video a number of times.

Spokey said...


dop

those are mighty cheesy looking clamps. if i were you i'd claim i borrowed them from ted k

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Spokey,
Yes, the foam that will last for 25000 years in landfill loses critical performance after 1 year on my head

dop said...

It would be nice to blame Ted (Thanks Ted K.), but I can't. Those clamps were a Christmas present from my daughter. It's simple, just walk together through home depot head for the tool rack. Point and say, "OOh OOh OOh!" Those clamps (part of a set of eight) were the first tools so acquired, followed by a sawzall & bolt cutters.

bad boy of the north said...

was in Washington,dc this weekend.we saw lots of bikes being used.......on sidewalks.what's up with that?

Anonymous said...

It increasingly seems that the best way to find Albany on a map is to look for the intersection of greed and ambition,” Bharara said

Spokey said...



2 days late for the friday quiz but up bright eyed and bushy tailed this morn. alas no snobbie.

well i stand corrected. daughters who say "OOh OOh OOh!" can't be wrong. particularly if they are skipping down the aisle with their pigtails bouncing.

Anonymous said...

Bad Boy of the North: perhaps some people find the sidewalks more comfortable, safer and more convenient than the road? Get yourself a 3yo and you'll soon come to love riding on sidewalks. It's almost like cities should build pathways for bikes or something.

Anonymous Yesterday 6:35. I would use median, not average, or also count the vending machines that dropped with the WTC.

JB said...

The Woody is the wrong-answer vid is great. Also, is the bitching guy in the vid salmoning? That's the way he is positioned.

BamaPhred said...

If you find the shining "helments" in a park you just might be looking at used prophylactics. Don't ask me how I know.

Anonymous said...

"I would use median, not average, or also count the vending machines that dropped with the WTC."

Median death count from the the seventeen events listed is 4. Average terrorism deaths per year not counting 9/11/2001 is 6. Both the same order of magnitude as vending machine deaths.

(Note all this is for US residents only. I'm sure the numbers in Syria, Iraq, northern Nigeria, etc, are way different.)

bad boy of the north said...

anon@1029a
agree.....partially.said bikey people....sans 3 y.o.s....no trailers,no child seats..no cargo bikes.all adults....oh...no yield to pedestrians....oblivious to all.maybe it's just me......

bad boy of the north said...

...and as you know..i'm a bikey guy.

Dooth said...

I can't wait...I'm going for a ride.

basith said...

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