Thursday, November 5, 2015

Sleds 'N Freds!

In case you're wondering (or even if you're not, because I really don't care), my WorkCycles FR8 has slotted quite nicely into my artisanally-curated bespoke urban lifestyle:


The bike lives outside, heavily chained and pummeled by the elements, yet always at the ready for child-portaging or late night booze-and-baby-supply runs.

Funny how those two things go together.

Yes, the FR8 is a loyal and faithful companion, much like the canine:


Traditionally people refer to dogs as "man's best friend," but it would appear that increasingly they're becoming Fred's best friend as well:


Sure, you've seen baggy-shorted bros mountain biking with their panting dogs, but the latest iteration of dog-assisted racing gives new meaning to the term "Fred sled:"


"I was actually kind of surprised as a filmmaker, looking around trying to see 'OK, what kind of media is out there that covers this story,' and there's really nothing that is at the caliber of the film we're making here..."

Surprising, really?  You know, sometimes when the media isn't covering something there's a reason for it, and it's probably because enduro-mushing or whatever is simply one sport to many.  Really, unless the sled is laden with presents and driven by a jovial fellow in a red suit and white beard, you're going to be hard-pressed to find too many people who give a fuck:


Though I did appreciate this echo of the height of the fixed-gear craze of the mid-aughts:

"I can tell you from racing dogs that there is no more profound feeling than the connection of knowing that you are allowing their genetic perfection to be manifested in going straight ahead as fast as they can pulling down the trail."

Yep, it's a zen thing.  It's like you're totally one with the dog:


And in case you're wondering, the answer is "Yes, why of course the dogs are doping:"


The 5 controls on the athletes revealed no use of forbidden substances.

4 controls on dogs were also negative but, unfortunately, one dog urine sample was analyzed to contain caffeine, paraxanthine and theophylline. These substances are listed in § 2A of the list of forbidden substances as stimulants for the first two and bronchodilator for the last one.

The positive control was done on one dog of Igor Tracz (Poland) racing in the DR5-8 class.

Yes, it's always a tense moment when a dog is taken to doping control:


As for the humans, it's pretty easy to tell when they're doping, though you can only properly test them during a full moon:


(Lycanthrofred!)

It's a problem in other sports too:


Anyway, in this case they disqualified the human, which seems unfair because it's entirely possible the dog was doping without his knowledge:

Igor Tracz has been disqualified from the race where his dog was controlled positive and is banned from racing any race for a 6 months period starting on February 25 (date of the hearing panel decision) by the Polish hearing panel. Igor Tracz has been requested to give back the Silver medal he was awarded with.

As for the dog, he held a press conference during which he explained it's a false positive from eating yellow snow around the doping control hydrant:


Sounds plausible to me.

Speaking of corruption and sport, the cycling world is still reeling at the revelation that the 1993 Thrift Drug Triple Crown was fixed, and by "reeling" I mean "yawning:"


As cycling fans, we are accustomed to ethical conundrums.

Do we cheer for a popular rider who secretly admitted he used PEDs but never bothered to tell us?

Do we support a team whose owner tweets out racist garbage?

Should we hate on riders who doped in an era of rampant doping?

There are no correct or wrong answers to these questions, of course. Deciding where you stand is simply part of being a fan.

Wait, what?  There are no correct answers to those questions, really?  I don't know, they all seem pretty straightforward to me, especially that middle one.  Seriously, fuck him and his team, the whole ass-grabbing lot of 'em.

Between Tinkoff's racism and Merckx's disregard for human rights it makes you want to defect for a sport with more integrity, like jai alai.

Yet incredibly, fans are still willing to rationalize:

By all accounts, Armstrong’s winning move was a motorcycle-like attack up the Manayunk wall. If he indeed fixed the race, he still had to get into the winning breakaway and attack like a rocket up the climb. If he proposed some cash agreement to his breakaway companions before the move, then he was just increasing his already strong chances at victory. In that scenario, I’m more inclined to shrug the episode off the usual mid-race agreement, only with a major incentive.

Though I suppose that's understandable, since the only way to remove the cheating is to also remove the high stakes, and competitive cycling without the stakes looks like this:


I mean sure, they're all on drugs too, just not the performance-enhancing kind.

Lastly, via VeloNews, here's a new threaded bottom bracket standard to replace the shitty press-fit one that replaced the threaded bottom brackets that worked great in the first place:


Argonaut / Chris King Precision Components / T47 Standard from Argonaut Cycles on Vimeo.

So wait, if threaded bottom brackets worked to well to begin with, then why did they...

Oh never mind.

81 comments:

dop said...

I'm such a Fred

Ted K. said...

76. In response to the arguments of this section someone will say, “Society must find a way to give people the opportunity to go through the power process.” For such people the value of the opportunity is destroyed by the very fact that society gives it to them. What they need is to find or make their own opportunities. As long as the system GIVES them their opportunities it still has them on a leash. To attain autonomy they must get off that leash.

Sean Yeager said...

Boom!

leroy said...

Dear Mr. BSNYC -

My dog wishes to protest in the strongest terms possible the upsetting content of today's post.

As for me, I giggled. I am so totally going to make a canine themed pull-your-own-weight joke later.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

quasi pode...

vsk

Frickus Rungus said...

Podium cause Ted K's dumb!

Frickus Rungus said...

Crap. Missed it by that (indicates small distance with fingers) much...

Anonymous said...

I put my foot down in the top 10

Anonymous said...

Pdium!

P. Bateman said...

Give me ..a keg...of beer

David Byrnes Hyundai said...

TOP X SCRANUS

Anonymous said...

The new bottom bracket standard was the obvious solution. I'm surprised it took this long from someone to make it happen.

Buenos Dias said...

Finger Bang!

David Byrnes Hyundai said...

Ok, If you remove Ted K. top XI Scranus.

Artisinally crafted bespoke bike, chek.

Shitty front teeth, check

Priorities all fucked up, check

samh said...

"...enduro-mushing or whatever is simply one sport to many."

Then it should make a great subject matter for a film, no? Okay, sorry to be the grammar police.

BamaPhred said...

Balto totally denies eating yellow snow, sues other teams for defamation, humps other dogs just because he can.
The only way to bring any credibility back to pro cycling is to race under the jurisdiction of Lucha Libre, masks and all.

WineCanine said...

Good one today! Can’t go wrong with dogs and bikes.

Gud dawg said...

We watch a *lot* of dog sled racing videos. My 3yo daughter loves them. This is our favorite:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lAfBzp91T8https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lAfBzp91T8

I grew up in an area where dog sledders regularly went by the house, but never knew of the other Lance until recently... that being cancer survivor and multi Iditarod winner Lance Mackay. There's a Livestrong video about him:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4itoaTozjg

Though my favorite Mackay video is probably "PETA needs to get a life":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ey5XuQRgm6s

BTW: my not a robot challenge was to select all the bicycles.

Balto said...

"...the only way to remove the cheating is to also remove the high stakes...

In my day we did not cheat and we pulled for some pretty high stakes, at least high stakes for the kids in Nome. Some of those kids were real good with the petting, though.

Dooth said...

Wildcat, this artisanally-curated urban lifestyle you bespeaking of sounds radical and non-conformist. Wait till the media finds out.

janinedm said...

"If he proposed some cash agreement to his breakaway companions before the move, then he was just increasing his already strong chances at victory."

Mr. Dreier, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

P. Bateman said...

...but dogs love steaks? you cant take that away.

Spokey said...


The bike lives outside, heavily chained and pummeled by the elements

hmmm. wonder if the elements will chain my bieksyckle

N/A said...

I can't wait until they just get rid of bottom brackets altogether. And cranks. And brifters. And rear hubs. It's just all too much.

Bryan said...

Hah. Like my own Husky would ever pull anything...She would be more happy being the one on the sled and letting me pull her around. That's more pawsable.

I keep waiting for a travelogue done on your workcycle.

The BB30 on my crabon fred sled is easily my least favorite thing about that bike. Just bring back cup/cone/loose bearing systems! Easy peasy to maintain. External BBs are even easier! I got a set of new FSA Mego Exo cups for $14 and shipping.

Anonymous said...

6 month ban from sled dog racing... starting in February... that's harsh. Even in MN we only hold sanctioned dog sled races 5 months out of the year.

Spokey said...


caffeine a forbidden substance?

dang. only time i'm not in violation is around 4am when i flush the last caffeine out. i'd prove it soon when i head out but we gots no fire hydrants like you hipsters do.

Dorothy Rabinowitz said...

I hate the dog lobby too

Serial Retrogrouch said...

Leroy,

perhaps your dog will stop taunting your bad performance on (and off) the bike, as well as the state of your physique... he will have no excuse not to pull you on your commute, especially when there's snow on the ground.

Hee Haw the Barista's mom said...

RUFF RIDE

N/A said...

SLED DAWG

Mike Callahan said...

I"m not sure if I qualify as a Fred but I have done a lot of dog racing on skis. With fast dogs you can cover a lot of ground. I hate to go skiing dog free. Of course you have to be able to control your dogs when skiing faster than a world cup skier without dogs. Old riders like me still wear white socks and black shorts and jerseys with back pockets. Like any self respecting rider my bike is always spanking clean. I have been shaving my legs since I first held an ABL license. I was racing on a Colnago before snob was on his mothers tit.

Groundskeeper Willie said...

I 'ate yer dog and i 'ate the mess he left on me floor!

People pay money to watch people ride bikes??? said...

Well I watched the Foot Down video, and I especially liked the joke about the No Weapons rule, as if some versions of Foot Down allow weapons........Wasn't much more boring than bike racing....

N/A said...

Snob's off the tit and into drinking urine now, if I understand yesterday's post correctly.

Comment deleted said...

Dog sledding is kind of like bikecycle racing: if you're not the leader, the view never changes.

*

Anonymous said...

I thought the unthreaded bottom bracket was the one you bought from Velo Orange when your threads went bad. (Grand Cru Threadless Bottom Bracket). Also, are the new threads english, french, swiss, italian, or (finally) metric? Somebody tell Sheldon (RIP).

Freddy Murcks said...

I saw that VeloSnooze piece the other day and I wasn't quite sure how to respond. Morally it all seems quite clear to me, but the level of mental masturbation (probably actual masturbation too) embodied in that article left me a bit nonplussed. It definitely represents a new low in the navel gazing department. Since Fred Dreier apparently loves to stare at his navel, perhaps his next column can be about the weight savings associated with careful and regular removal of belly button lint. That'd be more practical than his pseudo-philosophical drivel about Lancy Pants.

robot_by_another_name said...

Wow. Velonews at it again...
Yeah, so what the federations were doping riders.
Yeah, so what the riders committing fraud.
Yeah, so what the races were fixed.


Someone still had to win. Lance (clean at the time. No really... Oh wait) attacked on some hill and no one followed, BECAUSE HE FIXED THE RACE.

Velonews is like the North Korean propaganda factory for the UCI.

Bike smug PDX said...

Hey Wildcat I lived in Manhattan the first half of the '80s. If I had dared to leave a bike chained up on the street, I would have come back to find just the frame remaining and every removable part removed. Same as why you never wanted your car to break down on the Cross-Bronx Expressway; you would have come back hours later to find only the chassis sitting there up on blocks. Has NYC really changed that much? Nobody helps themselves to choice bike parts of their liking with a few turns of an allen wrench?

N/A said...

Allen Wrench left town.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Bike Smug PDX,

No, I just don't live in Manhattan.

--Wildcat Etc.

Freddy Murcks said...

I must say that as far as Barney bikes are concerned, Santa Cruz will always have my loyalty for never having adopted the press-shit bottom bracket standard or, for that matter, integrated headsets.

I own a bike with a press-shit bottom bracket and it has yet to give me any trouble, but I am sure as hell wishing that I had been looking more carefully when I bought it. I would not have bought it if I had realized that it did not have a threaded BB shell.

dop said...

Bike Smug PDX:

Walking along Riverside Drive, the sidewalks are no longer littered with broken glass from cars that have given up their radios. It's night and day since the 80's.

Anonymous said...

Your photoshopped pictures are becoming a highlight of the blog. The huskie with a microphone was my personal favorite. One question, when you sitting around unshaven and unwashed in your pajamas at 3PM and are putting together these works of art, say pasting a microphone into a picture of a dog, and one of your 17 children comes up and says "Daddy, what are you doing?" Do you have the heart to tell them that your "working"?

wishiwasmerckx said...

When you say malt liquor say Schlitz malt liquor.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Schlitz, the beer that made Milwaukee famous.

wishiwasmerckx said...

When you're out of Schlitz, you're out of beer.

P. Bateman said...

Styles, I got something to tell you. It's kind of hard, but...

Look, are you gonna tell me you're a fag because if you're gonna tell me you're a fag, I don't think I can handle it.

I'm not a fag. I'm... a werewolf.

movies have changed a lot since the 80's too.

N/A said...

If I'm being honest, here, I can say that... I'm out of beer.



Master Bateman, I'm enjoying the quotes. Well-played!

P. Bateman said...

who doesnt like a little teen wolf?

i guess owners of silver bullets, but other than that crowd...

Frickus Rungus said...

Or if you are in Pitsburgh, you'll want "Olde Frothingslosh" beer - the pale, stale ale with foam on the bottom.

dop said...

It's tough to argue over a Utica Club. We put, so much, LOOOOOVE into it.


(I don't know if I want to drink that)

dop said...

I think it was too much looooove

Angela Merkel said...

German girls never drink beer at the beach.

They don't want to get sand in their Schlitz.

EricBikeCO said...

At least now I know I can ignore anything Fred Dreyer writes. Whomever he is. They can't get the Big Lance Sponsor Money so they write about doping, pro, con, pro and con, fellate fellate fellate

ajs.lax said...

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I thought i was the only one who didnt like team tinkof tainted stake and ass grab.

P. Bateman said...

its funny how the comments can swing day to day.

sometimes they commentariat stays surpissingly on topic, and other days it all just goes down the toilet.

N/A said...

Are you suggesting that the commentariat are swingers?

Roille Figners said...

WTF, did I just read "If he proposed some cash agreement to his breakaway companions before the move..."??? And then the thing they follow it up with is "...then he was just increasing his already strong chances at victory"?????

Um yeah OK first of all, isn't that a pretty straightforward definition of cheating? Increasing your chances at victory by unsporting methods?

Here let me rephrase some things

"If he [cheated], then he was just [cheating]."

Reads a lot snappier that way.

Roille Figners said...

Not to mention "his chances" are an unknowable parameter, but whatever, yeah hey guys let's not get down on Lance, he probably would've won anyway, plus even after doping like a muh fugga he still had to do the work of racing! That shit's hard!

P. Bateman said...

N/A - i am decidedly down with OPP

1904 Cadardi said...

The bigger threaded bottom bracket seems like an elegant solution to the problem of creaking press fit bottom brackets, except it doesn't solve the problem that press fit bottom brackets were intended to fix. Namely, it's cheaper to press a couple bearings into a frame than it is to bond in some threaded piece of metal. The whole wider tires, better clearance, bigger tubes came about after press fit started. So while it seems like this will fix a problem, it really won't because manufacturers don't want to spend the extra 12 cents per frame.

As for me, I'll stick with my english threaded bottom bracket. I like it and it's good. Now darn you kids get offa my lawn!

Captain Obvious said...

Winning is hard. You might want to cheat in order to increase your already strong chances at victory.

ChamoisJuice said...

I see a sled dog dooder fairly regularly on my favorite escape from humanity 5 hours in the woods mountain bike loops. He uses a quad, with the engine removed, and has about 12 huskies hooked up. He smokes me on the climbs.

I'm sure none of you remember the artist chick with big boobies that rode a black fixie and was moving to portland I was dating for a minute. Didn't work out, she's a sweetheart, but our levels of carnal desire were not compatible. Anyways, I commissioned her to do a portrait of my folks for christmas. It turned out awesome! She really is talented. If she was not so genuine, and had more of the knack for blowing smoke up people's ass, could hack it in the "city", she could really make a name for herself. Anyways, I'm pumped, and she's charging me considerably less than the cost of a dropper post.

janinedm said...

I have the Oma, not the Fr8, but a WorCycle can live happily outside longer than your average bike. Even in the city. The rear wheel lock makes the bike basically a brick without the key and as for the individual parts, i don't see 700x47 wheels that take roller (drum) brakes with a dynamo in the front and a internal gear hub in the back having much resale/reuse value. Saddle could get stolen, though.

JLRB said...

When they outlaw doping dogs, Meow - pass the catnip

Dooth said...

Not a peep out of my bottom brackets. The English thread: I could understand its reticence, because, you know, it's English. But the French and Italian threads are surprisingly and pleasantly mute. Though I could swear I hear whistle from the French and Italian threads when a hot chick is around.

dop said...

I never appreciated fenders until tonight, when I crossed close by the horse carriages on Central Park south in a citibike with fenders. I had no fear of all the shot on the road, in spite of the light rain the created a viscous dlurry

babble on said...

Comment Deleted? One of the reasons I love going for club rides is that I get to spend the morning enjoying such an exceptional view. Never mind the natural beauty in this particular part of the world... I just love all of that hot tottie, and on pretty bikes, too... MMMMMMMMM. :)

Captain Obvious said...

Since stating the obvious is kinda like my job, I am going to go ahead and remind all of you of the following: CJ is a fucking idiot. He's a basement dwelling piss guzzler. He knows nothing about bikes, women, or dog sled/biking sports.

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