It's a Le Mans start today, so let's get to it:
Well, you'll be pleased, saddened, or indifferent to learn that Fredly haberdasher Rapha will no longer clothe totally drug-free Tour de France champions Team Sky after 2016:
But fear not! Sky will not have to ride naked, for Bike Snob NYC Industries LLC LTD INC ETC have signed on as their official clothing sponsor beginning in the 2017 season!2016 will be the last year of our successful partnership with @Rapha. We’re ending on a high with our 2016 team jersey, coming soon!— Team Sky (@TeamSky) November 3, 2015
Here's a sneak preview of the new look:
That's gonna look so good on the podium--much better than those Rapha rags:
Speaking of Chris Froome, he wants you to know he didn't even use a TUE at the Tour last year even though he TOTALLY coulda:
After the furore that surrounded him at this year's Tour de France, Chris Froome says that he refused to apply for a TUE for an infection he picked up in the latter part of the race. Froome and his teammates endured an often hostile reaction from some members of the public during this year's Tour. Several of them were spat at, while Froome also claimed that one fan even threw urine at him.
Threw urine at him?
And there's your infection.
Yeah, yeah, I can hear the urine apologists now:
"Urine doesn't make you sick. In fact it's so healthy you can drink it! Watch this!"
[Drinks deeply from a Thermos full of urine, wipes mouth with back of sleeve.]
"Ahhh. Now that's what I call refreshment."
Well, to verify this claim I visited the CVS website, because I only trust giant pharmacy chains. According to them, here are the possible pros of drinking urine:
(When life gives you lemons, drink chilled pee.)
Although no medical evidence supports urine as an effective treatment for any of these (or other) illnesses, scientific studies have shown that some components of urine have medicinal properties. Most notably, urea (which, next to water, is the primary component of urine) possesses antibacterial, antifungal, and antiviral characteristics. And, it should be noted that research is underway to investigate the potential of other urinary substances to treat infertility and specific forms of cancer.
While urine’s purported healing properties have yet to be confirmed by rigorous research, drinking small amounts of your own urine is unlikely to produce serious harm if, for some reason, you are so inclined.
And here are the cons:
Although sipping the occasional urine sample may not be immediately harmful, it should not be forgotten that urine can contain harmful substances in those who have taken drugs—legal or otherwise—or have been exposed to chemical residues in the environment.
Also, if a person were to drink his own urine as a substitute for fresh drinking water, the proportion of water content would rapidly decrease as the proportion of harmful waste products increased.
Wow. Seems to me that pro cyclists should really take up pee-drinking, since inadvertently imbibing someone else's tainted urine is a great ready-made doping excuse.
Anyway, I'm glad to know that next time I'm too lazy to get up off the couch I can safely wash down those Cheetos with my own pee.
In other news, here's the eleventy-billionth "connected" cycling accessory, and it's basically a light that rats on people:
See Sense Features Video from See.Sense. on Vimeo.
For example, it tells you when someone's stealing your bike:
"Imagine you're at your favorite coffee stop..."
"...and your trusty bike is outside:"
And locked with dental floss apparently.
So there's Fred, enjoying his coffee:
When he answers his phone, only to learn that someone's stealing his Fred Sled:
Naturally Fred takes off in hot pursuit:
At which point the thief saunters into the café and steals the wallet Fred has left on the table.
See, technology isn't eliminating theft so much as it's simply rearranging it--or, as they say in the tech sector, "disrupting" it.
Next we cut to a hard-cornering Mountain Fred (or "Barney" if you prefer):
Who, unbelievably, is swiftly undone by a crate of bananas:
Thankfully a strategically placed pile of empty cardboard boxes breaks his fall:
Though just when you think he's going to emerge unscathed, his handlebars hit him in the head, so Good Thing He Was Wearing A Helme(n)t:
Then, as the narrator explains:
"If you have a crash, Icon notes your location, and sends an alert for help."
I'm assuming the system sends both a message and a humorous "selfie" of the victim during the priceless moments immediately after the crash to a designated safety contact, who can then reply appropriately:
I feel safer already.
Lastly, here's a video that exposes the Automotive Industrial Complex conspiracy in a humorous fasion:
Think about that in 20 years when you're riding around with your legally mandated Smart Helme(n)t and Connected Suppository.