Friday, November 13, 2015

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

Further to yesterday's post about the Marin Pine Mountain 1, you'll no doubt be filled with resentment to learn that I was able to spend yesterday morning riding it:


And then yesterday afternoon drinking beer:


All while keeping a watchful eye on the bike through the front window of the bar:


Had anybody attempted to steal it, I'd simply have rapped on the glass, fogged it up with my breath, and then written the words "!ꟼOTƧ ƎƧAƎ⅃ꟼ"

That usually seems to work.

Inasmuch as it was only one ride I'm not going to draw any sweeping conclusions about the bike or anything like that, but I will say that my first impressions were very favorable.  I certainly appreciated the extra tire volume, and I suspect that once I figure out the tire pressure sweet spot I'll be able to make the most of it.  (If you're want to know "WHATPRESSUREYOURUNNING?," the answer is "I don't know."  I kept lowering it as I rode, and I suspect I could go even lower still.)

As for the particulars, it's a single ring in the front:


And a wide-range cassette in the back:


Which worked very nicely and gave me a sufficiently low gear for everything, and apart from personal stuff like saddle and grips I can't imagine what parts you'd want to change on it unless you were an incurable weenie.

Also, while the Marin website says the bike has thru-axles and Boost-Whatever rear spacing, this is in fact a mistake, and it actually has standard quick-release hubs:


As well as good old-fashioned 135mm rear spacing:


This pleases me, since I like stuff that works with other stuff.

So in all it was a very enjoyable first outing, and I'm looking forward to many more, hopefully also followed by beer:


And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right bully for you, and if you're wrong you'll see triathlete skills.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and watch out for wet leaves.


--Wildcat Rock Machine






("Ground control to Major Fred...")

1) According to "Bicycling," a pair of Recon Instruments Jet sunglasses:

--"has only about four hours of battery life, which limits its use"
--"blocks a significant amount of peripheral vision"
--Attracts "curious looks and comments"
--All of the above






2) What's at the end of the pole?

--A pitchfork
--A paint roller
--A dead cat
--Peter Sagan






3) What is this?

--A new clipless pedal system
--A new tire tread
--A sticker you put on your car door handle to remind yourself to open the door carefully
--A new massaging chamois from Assos







4) Bike canvassing is the new gravel grinding.

--True
--False





5) Why is this rider stopping?

--He's searching for an energy gel packet
--He's experiencing lower back pain
--He's adjusting his Assos massaging chamois
--He's lost the Bluetooth connection on his "smart suppository"








6) According to "Outside" magazine, the Ridley X-Trail is:

--A road bike
--A cross bike
--A gravel bike
--An ineffable feat of both engineering and marketing that somehow manages to exist entirely within the infinitesimal empty spaces between the above segments







(UCI president Brian Cookson)

7) UCI president Brian Cookson says you can't run pro men's cycling without:

--More sponsorship
--Better bike technology
--Enhanced media coverage
--Dopers


***Special Folding Helme(n)t-Themed Bonus Video!***



Headkayse. The world's first multi-impact, soft, safe, foldable cycle helmet / www.headkayse.com from Headkayse on Vimeo.


Via here.

183 comments:

Happy Unicorn said...

Podio? This is the Ted K protest bot. It's bot vs. bot.
Ted K suck it.


Scranus.


Hi Snob! Keep up the good work buddy!


Loser says "Some people may have some exceptional drive."

N/A said...

Drinkin' beer and riding bikes is pretty fuckin' swell, man.

dop said...

podiuo

dr voodoolittle said...

Do the rainbows come out of the unicorn's ass?

Ted K. said...

79. Some people may have some exceptional drive, in pursuing which they satisfy their need for the power process. For example, those who have an unusually strong drive for social status may spend their whole lives climbing the status ladder without ever getting bored with that game.

dop said...

Ted:

Is that exceptional drive campy compatible?

WCRM:

Every time a triathlete falls, an angel gets another square in celestial bingo.

DB said...

I want to be you in my next life.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

In the Tennus.

Glad you like the new test rider Sr. Snob.

I will be going on a vintagy ride with the Brooklyn Velodrome Vintage Wheelmen at 9:30am in the Park of Prospect in Brooklyn!, NY, USA. Meet by the Grecian Temple (thing with the white columns, I foget what streets exactly) for some sociable laps. I will be there unless I have a lapse. Then some ... refreshment...
All folks welcome. If you don't have a vintage steel steed, ride what ya brung and think olde thoughts!

vsk

Loneract said...

Crank flaking already?

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Prospect Park ... Saturday Morning...

vsk

Carlos Caliente said...

Scranus, missed it by that much!

P. Bateman said...

seriously, that front fork is like red lipstick. other than that, its seems like a totally reasonable byecycle.

why would you omit the P's in please stop? something against pees in public?

JLRB said...

Firstly - the video after the tri-fail video is interesting - whatpressureyouruntomakeyourbikefloat?

Second - what bike is the Marin doing to dog greet with?

Third - I have an old frankenbike Marin something or other I use as a commuter beater - it ways several euro fuktonnes - good solid stuff

JLRB said...

AND - are those hydrological dicks on the Marin?

Anonymous said...

Rapha!

P. Bateman said...

well, because i got all the answers right i had to go back to watch the Tri-video....

holy geezus titty fucking christ. about spit cereal all over my laptop.

thanks. i'm going to laugh at that all damn day...because i for one just love other people's misery.

Dorothy Rabinowitz said...

My vulva is not Boost-Compatible.

Spokey said...


hey top 18

dcee604 said...

That certainly was an epic triathlete dismount fail! lol!

Dorothy Rabinowitz said...

Sranulogical Forecast...incurable weenie

Vince Lombardi said...

Tri fall video:

It does not matter how many times you fall down. What matters is how many times you get back up.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

NIce! that's why I come here for the hard hitting in depth biek reviews. I like those wide range cassettes. Have one on my non-single speed mtb and also one on my recumbent trike. Both will climb like goats.

Now once you have fingered out the pressure sweet spot maybe you should have a contest giveaway or something and see if we can guess it?

Oh man it's Friday and I am so ready for some beer.

Anonymous said...

Incurable weenies have incurable weenies.........

Stating the Obvious said...

You should only be allowed to ride a folding bicycle while wearing a folding helmet.

Anonymous said...

Snob,

Was that bar stool a "dropper"?

Frickus Rungus said...

Dear Rock Machine,

Sorry to hear about your incurable weenie. I hope that advances in science and medicine can provide you with some relief in the near future.

P. Bateman said...

@recument - the fingered sweet spot is achieved with a thumb up top, index and middle on the inside, and then pinky in the back door.

Anonymous said...

Snob's shillin' hard for that soft helment....

JLRB said...

Find a stick and put Sagan the fuck on it!

Roille Figners said...

Yeah so "tech specs" on the protest bot: It's kludged together using AutoHotKey, and runs and controls a browser window using only Windows keyboard shortcuts from fucking 1995. It finds and copies the day-of-week of the post, into the paste buffer and compares it with today's day-of-week, every 15 seconds. If they don't match, it queues up to run again in 15 seconds; if they match, it navigates using keystrokes through the process of posting a comment and then quits.

Downside is that it loaded bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com an estimated 2,500 times overnight, which inflates Snob's pageview count, but then again maybe that's a good thing.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Hey it looks like that duherailher would be stretched pretty far forward if you was to shift it up to the 36t or whatever big cog you're running there on the back.

Anonymous said...

you can't spell derailleur without l'eul raider.

OTOH, You can spell Alec Guinness with Genuine Class.

Sam I Am said...

Running "Peter Sagan" through the anagram server yields some amusing results.

Frickus Rungus said...

Here's something for those of you who can't decide if you next bike should be a chopper or a tall bike: linky

Steven Keaton said...

AYHSMB

dop said...

10 nerds were put out of work by that anagram generator. What would Ted K say about the effect on society? (or indeed, the affect of society)

Anonymous said...

Sam I Am -

"steve tilford" = Overfed Stilt

Hee Haw the Barista's mom said...

Anything more than LX is overkill.

babble on said...

Heh... er, silly question, but it's important to some of us: can you be an incurable weenie if you don't actually have a weenie to cure??

Comment deleted said...

I'd prefer my weenie remained uncured, thankyewverymuch. Cured meat has gives cancer.

Anonymous said...

JLRB: a Niner something or other.

dop said...

I know a brilliant physician who can cure epoxy.

dop said...

btw ladies, if you need a weenie, I can help. Nothing wrong with my weenie that couldn't be cured by the attentions of a good woman. Or a bad one.

babble on said...

but presumably not a baaaaaaaaaaa-d one.

mikeweb said...

Stephen Keaton, O.G.

P. Bateman said...

unless your a dyed in the wool sheep fucker. then baaaaaaad ones are great.

dop said...

You're mistaking me for my inlaws. They're from New Zealand. I was born here.

balls™ said...

I skipped class all week and still aced the quiz. Suckas.

ChamoisJuice said...

Captain Obvious,
*blovitate
My couple day absence was due to a visit from an Ukrainian, interested in leaving behind the competitive world of higher education in Cambridge, MA, for the slower paced, outdoors based world of the PNW. Don't want to give too many details, but it was not Picov Andropov from Car Talk.
I enjoyed her company, but ultimately our union according to the force of passion or carnal desire was not compatible. She refused to inflate my 27.5+ chubby tire to proper pressure before jamming it in her boost spaced rear triangle with tapered hourglass stays, predictably resulting in roll in the corners, burping, and a pinch flat when charging hard that cut the ride short. The least satisfying sexual experience I have had in some time ;_;

ChamoisJuice said...

BikeSnobNYC,
I will stick with the weed farming, the reddit comments, AND bikesnob commentarding. And tinder, and however else I want to use the fucking internets. I'm not sure what you think is so insulting about reddit? r/redheads, r/trashyboners, r/lookatthisrussian, r/askreddit are extremely entertaining ways to kill time.
There are a bazillion bike dork forums, where "experts" argue over which $3000+ dream machine is awesome/sucks. There are not many resources for college kids and minimum wage workers to look for advice on what $100-500 bike to get for basic transportation. I am a bike dork, and compulsive Craigslist checker, and I frequently like to see what the used market looks like in L.A., or Portland, or Madison, or Florida, or Kentucky for that matter.
I've actually helped a few people find good deals on used bikes, that fit them, and work for their needs, and received thank you messages for it. The dood in queens who was looking at a huffy, that I turned onto a 90's trek 950 for $100. The college girl in indiana who got a Fuji mixte with fenders and wicker basket for $120. The dood in portland looking for steel disc brake drop bar commuter, who got a ridden twice, selling cuz wrong size 2015 Raleigh Port Townsend with lights and fenders for $700.
There are a fuckload of people that buy everything online these days, and think going to a store means paying twice as much for a shittier selection. Right or wrong, you are not going to dissuade people of this notion. Bikesdirect makes a bunch of crap, but they actually do make a bunch of functional commuter bikes and starter bikes. I don't know. I do think more people riding, more people on the roads is only good for cyclists and bike infrastructure. I'd rather see beginners that are not willing to spend $500+ for a commuter, or $850+ for a starter road bike, at least get something that is somewhat functional, so their first experience with bike riding is not ruined by a magna, or walmart schwinn with shocks and goofy 20 spoke count aero wheels. There are tons of places in the country, where "just buy a used bike" is not realistic advice.
I actually was working on a blog for affordable commuter bikes. If you have $100 to spend, $200, $300, $400, $500. With decent examples of craigslist bikes, internet mailorder options, and even the couple few walmart bikes that are somewhat serviceable.
But it was entirely too much work, and I'd way rather talk shit and/or help actual people that are looking for decent cheap bike.

balls™ said...

Hey Roille,
Can you write something as simple as your other bot that will delete CJ?

McFly said...

Do you get to "try out" the Pine forever?

Love is the Answer said...

What was the question?

Anonymous said...

You know who loves a good weenie joke?

MY MOM!

BikeSnobNYC said...

ChamoisJuice,

I wasn't insulting Reddit, I was insulting you.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

ChamoisJuice said...

about that marin:

I kinda think the specs and geo chart for the bike are riddled with errars. The seat tube angle, visually does not look super crazy slack, 70deg. Think it might be more normal 72-73. I'd still want 74-75, for better climbing, and the ability to tuck the rear wheel in there tighter, and have proper <420dood stays, for superior wheelie abilities and sliding cutties.

WTF is going on with that extra fork arch? Stupid looking and unneccessary. I guess it makes mounting a mud flap easier...

Close up of those dropouts is truly disgusting.

Couple of set up things I would change. Your bars are rolled up too much. With crazy upsweep, not enough backsweep. You are handicapping yourself. At least you haven't chopped the bars down to narrow, yet.

I would lower the bars/stem a bit. 29"/27.5+ bikes have quite high front ends. Your bars are higher than your seat! Seems like all your other SRS bikes, bars are quite a bit lower than the seat. I'd put the spacers on top, or preferably cut down the steerer, to get bars level with the seat.

-set up tires tubeless. $20 investment, bit of dicking around with sealant, but prolly save 1/2 pound in rolling weight, give smoother ride, and be less prone to flats. Cheapest, easiest "upgrade"

-skewers. Those ching chong skewers always have that plastic piece get deformed. $30 Shimano deore skewers clamp harder, way more reliable

-sintered metal brake pads. The inexpensive shimano discs are a good brake, but come with organic pads, that are not as powerful, kinda meant for beginners. Sintered brakes would get em working good. Also, moving levers in, so you get maximum leverage for 1 finger braking.

-single ring doesn't look like a narrow wide. I'd either put a simple top guide on, or swap to a n/w ring, to keep the chain from coming off on rough downhills.

Anonymous said...

ChamoisJuice-

re: marin bars

do you think a 'bum bar' set up would give the Snob better control and ride position?

Love is the Answer said...

Oh Yeah. All you CJ haters. Cut a little slack and skip over his posts. I find them entertaining, sometimes. Taken with a the reminder that, in our pre-teens, some of us thought journalism was found in the Playboy (is that magazine still around?) articles on peoples sexual experiences. If CJ fancies him/her self a journalist, so be it. I am totally on board with old bike reuse. I hate to see old Raleigh, Treks, Panasonics, Univegas and, yes, even Specialized bike sit outside rusting. Bike manufacturers are like golf equipment manufacturers and their are plenty of folks willing to buy in.

By the way, Ted K has also provided good fodder for some excellent commentary.

Ride on, read on and keep typing.

P. Bateman said...

why everyone hating on CJ so bad? its like Ted K, just bunny hop right over if you dont like.

BikeSnobNYC said...

ChamoisJuice,

Cool. Go buy yourself one and write about it on that blog you're thinking of starting.

--Wildcat Etc.

Bikesy said...

Marin should have kept that original rough gray scratch proof paint on all their bikes they they bought out in 89. You remember, that paint that used to get scratched! (Actually saying that because if you're going to have a gray marin with fluro forks again then by rights all the old school riders are going to come up to touch it to see if it is indeed that rough gray scratch proof scratched paint!)

1904 Cadardi said...

Anyone else notice the triathacrash video is number kSriyman-YA. It's almost ksyrium. Spooky, like the ghost in the machine is a diminutive Frenchman.

wishiwasmerckx said...

After Zapruder-film level analysis of the Tridork crash video, I have determined that he lost traction on all of the human skin laid down on the asphalt by all the Triathletes who fell at the same spot proir to his arrival.

ChamoisJuice said...

Anon 2:14,

Snob does not have his bars setup fully bum bar style. I mean, they are not upside down. They are just adjusted a full 30degrees or so too far forward. Kind of the MTB equivalent of this goofy road bar set up

BSNYC would benefit from taking 5 mins to read a beginner's guide to setting up your mtb cockpit. Bar angle, lever angle, and sliding the levers in for one finger leverage.How-To-Mountain-Bike-Cockpit

Roille Figners said...

Bateman - I for one didn't mind Ted K until he pussed out like a prison [edit: person who does sexual favors for others]. (We don't mean to sneer at prison [edit: those who do sexual favors]. We do mean to sneer at the real Ted K sitting there in prison, and who by now has noticed a couple flaws in his big plan for revolution, and btw revolution is just murder wrapped up in a sanitizing idea. Oh yeah everything's fucked but you're gonna change all that! Aren't you! Sure you are! Everybody let me know if you're planning a revolution so I can get out of town before the bloodbath starts.

Plus I just wanted to see if I could write a bot.

With CJ I find the relentless abuse from Snob kind of funny but I actually enjoy the stories of sexual adventures, ha!

Circle Jerk said...

The reason we hate is CJ and want him to leave and get his own Cycle Jerk Blog, is because he is such a raging hypocrite. On the one hand he correctly realizes that a used Trek is totally O.K., but then on the other handjob he goes way beyond Anal Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and is Anal to the point of studidity and criticizes Seat Post diameters for example, what an annoying jerk...

Almond Joy said...

Sometimes you feel like a bot.

Sometimes you don't.

Big bad Ted K has a bot.

The rest of us don't.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

CJ 2:57

This is where you run afoul of the commentariat....

Snobby and the commentariat are not the legion of beginner commuter or fledgling cyclists you have cultivated from Reddit or where ever else you post. By and large, the commenters here are well experienced and many , such as myself, are not looking for unsolicited advice on how to set up our first real bike. Most of us have multiple rides and are fairly confident of our ability to set up comfortably. Dare I mention, if you ever actually read the bulk of the comments here, we tend to malign those who sweat such details as a 72 vs a 74 degree seat tube angle, or a chainstay that may be a cm longer than some elses perceived ideal.

My mental image of you is a mid twenty to thirty something who has managed to memorize a shitload of bike spec and you think you can regurgitate and appear to be an authority. You sound smart, but act stupid, because you don't know when to shut the fuck up.

Oh yeah, you're also a douchebag.

Anonymous said...

CJ;

You also clearly have poor reading comprehension skills, and are unable to understand what other commentators are saying.

Anonymous said...

CJ;

And you repeat words like leverage and traction with no understanding of what they mean.

Anonymous said...

CJ;

And you lack of personality and social skill you have never had and will never have sex with another person. You social life consists of posting on the internet, which we can all plainly see is how you spend most of your waking hours.

BikeSnobNYC said...

CJ,

You would benefit from blowing me.

--Wildcat Etc.

AYHSMB said...

With all the haters here today - must be a lot of ball sucking going on

pt_barnum_bieks said...

Yeah, Reddit cycling topics prove the saying there's a sucker born every minute.

Sinyard's lawyers can save me 30 watts at 40KMH and it only costs $10.000. Only!! Mod that informative topic up!

Bob Guccione said...

ChamoisJuice, I own a thriving magazine that begs for your writing talent and feminine insight. Salary negotiable. Please contact me via the Pet Forum.

BikeSnobNYC said...

CJ,

An honest response to your comment about the bars, all modesty and sarcasm aside:

When you're an awesome cyclist like I am who's also a semi-professional bike blogger and otherwise busy minding the details of a modern urban lifestyle, when a bike company offers you a chance to try a cool bike that looks like fun, you don't spend a bunch of time dicking around with the bar and brake lever angles or changing quick releases or brake pads or whatever other bullshit you're talking about. What you do is you pick up the bike at the shop, you get the saddle height in the ballpark, and then you have a really good time riding the fucking thing. Maybe as you're riding you tweak things here if they're bothering you, but it really doesn't matter because when you're THIS AWESOME you can enjoy a bike even when everything's not EXACTLY where you want it, like it is on your super awesome custom bike.

That's why it's annoying when someone who's the Hitch of used bikes on Reddit comes along and says the bars should be in a slightly different position, like anybody gives a fuck.

Of course, my blog has an open door policy with regard to comments, which is one reason why it's the World's Greatest Bike Blog. So of course you're welcome to keep posting if you insist on doing so. But it doesn't make you sound like any less of an idiot.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

CJ,

Like I said....

JLRB said...

Why is the fire hydrant outside the beer bar neon green?

dop said...

As much as I can remember, most of BSNY's reviews are positive, which figures. Like his audience, he like's bikes & most of them are fun to ride, especially when they do what they're supposed to. A cargo bike! With room to carry shit! An MTB bike! with biggish tires and adequate gearing to ride off-road! A son-of scatante! that out-scatante's all dreams of scatante!! Near tragedy: someone left the workbike in the rain...I don't think that I can take it...cause it took so long to bakefiet...and I'll never have a bakefiet...AGAIN!!! (spoiler alert...the workbike survived the winter outdoors)

(the only bad reviews I remember were over-priced vanity bikes that were poorly assembled)



Anonymous said...

“Jesus had 2 dads and he turned out just fine”

wishiwasmerckx said...

CJ, as we approach this holiday season, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you are 36 years old now.

SANTA CLAUS IS NOT REAL!

wishiwasmerckx said...

...and your sister LOVES anal. Do not ask me how I know this...

Spokey said...


and on a lighter note


not sure that the folding helmet is for me. i'm sure i've never worn a tie while riding my biek-sycle to work. i know i've never done a pirouette on my buy-k-sickle.

otoh, the fact that you don't have to replace it after a crash might be a smart investment for say babs.



butt . . .

i don't read either cj or ted so i don't have any fucking idea what you're all talking about. i just thought cj was a pancake house chain until i remembered that was pj. but happiest petals this weekend everyone. looks like the wind has dropped below hurricane level.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Juice,

I'm looking to buy a combo gravelgrinder/adventure/cross/road/commuter/fat/recumbent/folding bike and want to keep it under $10, I could spend more but don't want to break the bank. What do you recommend? Also, should I go tubeless? I am also wrestling with that age old bottom bracket conundrum, press fit vs threaded. Your advice would be greatly appreciated.

Anonymous said...

Dammit, snob, why do you have to delete my posts when I actually get honest and real?

Anonymous said...

The TROLLS “Ted K”, and “CJ”…Bros?

Anonymous said...


Friday the 13th.

Dooth said...

Happy Odd Couple day!

Roille Figners said...

"You would benefit from blowing me."

HAHA, see that's what I'm talkin'bout

P. Bateman said...

i will say, thank god for the open door policy. i can't get in anywhere else.

i wonder if some social media manager from S#$!iali-zed ever is tasked with monitoring this here blog and ever debates whether to offer up a vengeschmeggle for a full review in hopes of winning the Snober over?

i bet they do but then come to the comments and say, meh. not a good plan. too many unibombers and retrogrouches.

okay, i'm off to chase tail. mostly my own. because i'm very dog like.

Arizona Hillbilly said...

If I saw somebody wearing a suit while riding a kid's bike I'd plug him with my Peacemaker...

Filthy Swede said...

Unibombers and retrogrouches!
That's about sums things up...
BTW,it's becoming painfully apparent that CJ is actually WCRM in drag.

Holy Roller said...

The GOOD BOOK says,'Let he who is stoned cast the first sin'.

Major VVald said...

I work in tech and you, Suh, are a genius! Wish I'd have thought of that. PS how did you find out where TK was getting its paragraphs - they seem so damned obscure. Did someone say they were from a psych dictionary or something? Anyway, congrats and we ALL owe you a beer. A BEER! That's what I'm forgetting......

Major VVald said...

Oh yeah this (above) is for Roille Figners and Happy Unicorn. Sorry wasn't specific enough

The Commentariat said...

Just like the Italian pro peloton, We are sick of having to pay 1/2 of our meagre commentator's salary back yo BSNYC. It is time for this whole shameful episode to end!

ChamoisJuice said...

OKOK, I have been commenting on this blog, since before Snob had babies, when the content was mostly making fun of bizarre bike setups, ridiculous tattoos, and hipster mating rituals. He was waaaaaaay funnier then.
Clearly, snob is a funny motherfucker, and amazingly talented and prolific writer, and is pretty dead on when it comes to road bikes and city bikes. However, his MTB sensibilities have always been a bit off the back.

I have been riding bikes since the 90's. Have worked in a variety of shops: high end NY road shop slanging merlins and serotta fit kit sessions to dentists. CORE mtb shops, doing custom builds and fixing the shockers and dick brakes. The normal Specialized shop. Affordable, no bs commuter shop selling consignment bikes. I've volunteered at bike coops. Been "prototype test rider" for bike companies, because I am sensitive to small geo changes, ride a lot, break shit, can express what handling traits I find good/bad. Raced at a somewhat competitive level. Had real world engineering jobs, done carbon prototyping, ETC, ETC, ETC

I think it's funny as hell to state personal preference as FACT, and see people that take their perceived bicycle expertise too srsly, REACT. The most annoying part about working in shops is dealing with uptight, know it all bicycle fetishists. The most satisfying is helping people who don't know the first thing about bikes, get on something that works well for them, and helping them get their machine more comfortable and functional, and having them be really stoked and thankful for the honest advice.

ChamoisJuice said...

I have always kinda used this blog as pressure relief valve: an outlet to release my mania without making actual people I interact with on the day to day think I am a weirdo. CJ is exaggerated caricature of one aspect of my personality, I have the social awareness not to release in real life.

I do have the bipolar, and it for sure has affected by ability to be traditionally successful in modern society. While I may be a douchebag, I do ride my bike more than most, get into all kinds of crazy adventures, and slay the ripe poon with some regularity.

Manic Depression is a disease that's little talked about and little understood. This programme, presented by Stephen Fry, sets out to explore the highs and the lows and the causes and treatments of a condition that may affect as many as six percent of the population.

Motivated by his own personal battle, the programme follows Stephen Fry on an emotional journey that takes him to the homes of stars such as Carrie Fisher, Richard Dreyfuss and Rick Stein, into the lives of ordinary people who juggle this illness with their working lives and into the surgeries of psychiatrists and the lab of researchers who are trying to help control the condition.

This film is often used by those suffering from Bipolar Disorder or Manic Depression to inform their acquaintances about the illness.

bad boy of the north said...

our hearts go out to those in paris.

bad boy of the north said...

je suis paris

wishiwasmerckx said...

Dop, you left out the Ironic Orange Julius bike.

dop said...

Q: What color toga should I wear to the orgy, Calpurnia?

A: Orange, Julius.

BikeSnobNYC said...

ChamoisJuice,

Glad to provide a "pressure relief valve," I'm replying to you in that spirit as I'm trying to distract myself from all the awful stuff in the news right now.

On the subject of how you "break shit," if you're talking about mountain bike stuff specifically, while I'm sure you're a ballsy rider and all the rest of it, I tend to attribute that as much if not more to component gimmickry as to aggressive riding. It's a failure of the bike industry more than anything. Keep in mind some of us ride the kind of mountain bikes you love to criticize because they're simple. They don't break or need to be overhauled at specific intervals, nor do they become obsolete because of some new trend in suspension technology. (Sure, you might argue they're already "obsolete," but only if you think straightforward trail riding on a simple bicycle is obsolete.) Your "game-changing" dropper post is my overpriced pain in the ass, and I'd rather pick my way through a section a bit more carefully than deal with hydraulics in a freaking seatpost, which should be the component on a bike that requires the absolute least thought and maintenance. I absolutely refuse to squander time and money on a seatpost that goes up and down like a freaking car in a Snoop Dog video.

Of course I appreciate that people enjoy that stuff and that, at least within the pretty small window where it's working properly and not yet obsolete, it might make you faster on a downhill or help you elicit more of an adrenaline rush. I totally get it, and whatever gets you the most fun out of a mountain bike is what counts. Personally, I'd rather ride a solid, low-maintenance and low-tech bicycle and compensate with the fact that the frame doesn't squish and the seatpost isn't a pogo stick by adjusting my riding style accordingly. Sure, my Engin is a pretentiously expensive low-tech bicycle, but we're all entitled to our obnoxious displays now and again, and apart from the odd cog and chain I'll never have to spend much more time and money on it. I'm also not going to suddenly decide I want to break Strava descending records, and odds are I'm not moving to some other part of the country where the terrain is different anytime soon. I live and ride on the east coast, where my bike makes sense.

I'm surprised as someone who advocates sensible commuting bikes that you don't appreciate that on some level.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

JLRB said...

BRAK SHIT

PEEP SUCK

NOTA GAIN

leroy said...

Life is short, enjoy every ride.

Google translate advises "tous les ennemis vous sucer mes couilles."

And in that vein, my dog asked me to pass along to CJ some wisdom gleaned from experience.

It's okay to lick yourself to relieve pressure, but it's unrealistic to expect to make friends by asking folks to watch.

He finds bike riding a more constructive coping strategy.

Enjoy every ride.

CJ's Mom said...

I keep trying to tell you - people who actually get laid often do not feel a need to tell others that they get laid - it's a give away of your forced celebacy

ken e. said...

burny mcburnside reporting in. with noted exceptions, i love you people. can someone throw down some voodoo and fix my head cold so i can go outside please?

Roille Figners said...

Look at this dialog happening, it just warms my heart. Maybe we will all grow a little bit. You know I went back to 2007 and re-read about "The Riddle" and "Cycling's Worst Paint Jobs" and a few others.(*) Yeah it was funny, though compared to today it's still basically the same but different... like a wine that aged 8 years, some of the component flavors mellow, others emerge. Snobz I can see you were a bit more extravagant then, and more grateful/stunned that people were actually reading it, ha! But I like the occasional tackling of weightier advocacy-type matters nowadays too. Anyway it ain't no cakewalk semi-professionally writing a bike blog every goddamn day for 8 years, so hey!

(*) [By the way if anyone reading knows how to disable Blogger's "trying to scroll but inadvertently swipe left or right because you're a fucking human with a fingertip that swings a circular arc around a hinge/knuckle, but said lateral swiping has inexplicably been programmed to load the next or previous blog post and then for the millionth time you quietly say to yourself 'god DAMMIT who would EVER use a blog site that way?' and quick try to hit 'back' but then of course Android browsers don't cache shit EVER and it has already 'forgotten' and so while you wait for the original page to re-load you wonder about your data plan, not to mention all the work you should be doing instead, and then it finally comes up and you have to laboriously re-find your place in the page" feature, please clue me in. Other than using a feed reader which I am already considering.]

Agent Provocateur said...

If only the 'action' branch of the French Foreign Intelligence Services could have put as much time and effort into national security as they did with 'Operation Satanique' or the mining and sinking of the Rainbow Warrior. Mais oui?

Roille Figners said...

Hey, catching up on comments - thanks Major VVald! Just getting back into the techie world after a long hiatus - hence the memory of old-ass shit from the 90s!

Holy Roller said...

No, no. I got that wrong. I think the GOOD BOOK says, 'It's a sin for those who live in glass houses to cast stones first.'

Holy Roller said...

How about, 'Those of the self-righteous who cast stones at sinners will enter into the KINGDOM OF HEAVEN.' Yes, that's how it goes, for sure. Amen.

P. Bateman said...

hey CJ,

is your blog up yet? i need a street value on this really pristine Dawes Atlantis.

just pulled the saddle off to clean it up. sort of an interesting Kashimax Aero. its actually an NJS approved part which would have been worth billions back in 2005 or so. for now though i think i'll just clean it up and ride it.

kind of like this old dawes. my english built raleigh is looking down its nose a bit at though. and here i thought they would want to share a pint and maybe some crisps.

Spokey said...


you know you're old when . . .

you can remember actually seeing a computer memory bit

Spokey said...


master batemen

just how many friggin bikes do you have at this point?

P. Bateman said...

too many, though i'm really just tinkering with most of them to clean up and hopefully resell. if i make a couple dollars fine, but not really the objective.

my actual rides:

-1984 Raleigh Team Pro
-1991 Brigdestone Rb-2/chubby bike

the project bikes are:
-this dawes atlantis which actually isnt much of a project because is pretty minty

-a chome'd out Schwinn Voyageur 11.8 that i've been trying to clean up. has been a lot of tin foil, metal polish and elbow grease so far.

-a girl sized bridgestone RB-1 that was probably a mistake. LOTS to do to restore this one.

oh, and i have my old univega mountain bike but havent been on that in quite sometime.

ChamoisJuice said...

Pretty sure Snob bought the ironic orange julius bike. A baby blue On-one Pompino. That means bologna wash in eye-talian. Been through a few build iterations, currently being an upright townie bike. One of snob's cooler bikes, though I do find the seatstays offensive.

Snob did also test some State townie. This bike is an example of snob jumping the shark, and selling out to his advertisers. I feel like 7 years ago, State would be a company he would hate on HARD. Mailorder direct company, that is not actually inexpensive, but sells bikes with shitty hi-ten frames, with hipster friendy "colorways" and trendy marketing. They have a Wu-tangXState Fixie collabo for Lob's sake.

$500 Bikesnob endorsed townie
That bike was nearly identical to this Bikesdirect Windsor Essex. Except it is literally twice the price, and the BD bike has a chromoly frame:/ I guess it does come with crappy front basket and a fucking beer opener, quite the value for an extra $250.

$250 BD townie

I did not get much sleep, it is actually not raining right now!/!!?!1!, gonna go for a rip. Got to go make tribute to Ullr tonight and drink from the shot-ski. I DO HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY, but I'll do it later.
8===D ~ ~ ~

Anonymous said...

Cheap At Twice The Price

Spokey said...


you gots to have more. i'd swear you report picking up a new one about once a week.

Thor said...

Ullr is a pussy

Anonymous said...

Problems in France. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6DqH3ljZgk

P. Bateman said...

nope. thats it. they all were picked up within a very short time period. but i have since put myself in bike time out because i started to look around and realized i might have a bike addiction. which is still cheaper than cocaine. but when you have a bike, coke and strip club problem all at once its very detrimental to the bank account.

Anonymous said...

Are we playing how many bikes you got?

I realized a while I don't know the exact number, especially because of all the bikes in pieces in the basement, but those I can remember off the top of my head:

1977? Kabuki Submariner mixte (cost $70)

1982 Fuji Royale II (cost $120?)

1982 Schwinn Super SP (cost $140)

1985 Schwinn Le Tour Luxe (FREE!)

1970 Schwinn Continental Fixed Gear (FREE!) (Except for the conversion parts)

1976 Schwinn Super le Tour ($135?)

2010 Trek 1.1 ($200?) (Rain bike)

1988 Cannondale SR500 ($220 plus a long drive)

1974, 75 of 76 Peugeot PX-10 with a 2 speed kick-back hub ($180 for the frame, $120 for the rear wheel, and maybe $80 for the other parts)

1992? Yankee Bike ($120)

1972 Raleigh Sports ($140???)

1980s Atlas Roadster ($180?)

197? Lambert (Being made into the "DEATH" bike, $60)

1987 Trek 560 (FREE!, had been run over by a car, maybe $100 to get it ridable)

1985 Ross Mt. Hood ($240)

1962 Schwinn American ($???

1964 Schwinn Typhoon Chopper rat rod ($????)

2011? "Mamason" bike ($35)












P. Bateman said...

i actually attempted to find out what a mamason bike is but instead the guugle machine took me to this and this is actually some quality bike porn...had never heard of them. mmmm...steel....mmmm....blue.....

mmmmm...blue steel....

https://masoncycles.cc/shop

Anonymous said...

Sorry, that was supposed to be MAMACHARI, not Mamason.

Spokey said...


never had a mimosa while on a bike

P. Bateman said...

wow, is that the honda odyssey of bikes?

mimosa's are overrated. just drink the champagne.

Anonymous said...


A much more exciting odyssey.

dop said...

I don't think BSNY's review of the state bike was jumping the shark. The bike reviews are just stories of bike rides. Not really any different from the fly 6 sagas. They're fun.

ken e. said...

i love that video.

Mel Brooks said...

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”

Spokey said...


never had a mimosa. had to look it up to see what it was. i don't like champagne either. but the OJ is fine. i usually cut mine with seltzer. guess that gives me a virgin mimosa?

Spokey said...


oh, and PB, finally followed your advice and got me some of that Suntory Hibiki. haven't popped the top yet but maybe tonight. yeah that one was sixty something at the cheapo likker store.

NHcycler said...

@ken e:

"...can someone throw down some voodoo and fix my head cold so i can go outside please?"

I've just completed making a rag doll in your image. I've chosen the proper needle. You should feel a painful, cold-virus-annihilating jab in your sinus on three. One...Two...

You're welcome!

McFly said...

Bike question: I have an old ass ultegra chain on my MTB. When I install a new Sram pc 1031 (only .010 wider) the bike makes a grindy noise in the small ring. The chain is not rubbing the deruiller. The crankset is off a 90s trek singletrack. Possibly not sram compatible?

dop said...

McFly...It depends. What pressure are you running?

ken e. said...

@mcfly, never had any luck matching older generation shimano drivetrain with the shram, always funky result. could be the chain is too stretched out too, whatever that math is, 3/16th over a foot of chain or somethin'
a big thanks to new hampshire too.

Spokey said...



I use sram chains about 70% and shimano 30%.

The 7speed ('94 cannondale) is a shimano rear and i think cannondale branded front cranks (triple). Rear derailer i think is arx and front might be lx.

on the 9sp (2002 comotion), it's durace / raceface front and xtr / shimano mega (11-34) rear.

neither has a problem running either shimano or sram chains. i can't keep track of the model numbers but i usually buy mid range chains. amazon reports the last 9sp was a sram SRAM PC 971

i do have to 'trim' the front sometimes to get rid of chain rub, but that's it.

is the 'small gear' a granny or is that a double? get the noise in all cogs or just when you're starting to cross chain (is that the right word for small to small or big to big gear)?

McFly said...

It's a granny. It was a 3x but I took the highway gear off. Just seems to grind in the granny gear. I was thinking maybe the chainring was worn but it doesn't appear to be. I ordered an ultegra. May just be and older shimano/sram issue.

Anonymous said...

I'd rather read CC than CJ.

BamaPhred said...

My iPhone 5 won't post to the blog. That's probably a good thing for everyone. But why?

P. Bateman said...

@spokey - hope you enjoy.

@bama - an iphone 5 is not boost 148 compatible and this blog as switched to a new standard. please upgrade immediately as your life could be in grave danger. its like crossing the streams. complete protonic reversal. cats and dogs living together. mass hysteria.

BamaPhred said...

PB that's certainly good to know. I thought I had missed out on the double secret Bike Snob NYC smarting phone app. I mean even CJ had it. C'mon, man!

Spokey said...


oops

sorry bama. as you weren't posting with your eye-fone 5, ahhh, we gave your copy of the snobbie-500 app to CJ. there are still a couple android snobbie-600 apps in stock if you can switch.

Anonymous said...

"... I was thinking maybe the chainring was worn..."

That's my guess too.

http://www.sheldonbrown.com/chains.html

http://www.sheldonbrown.com/brandt/chain-care.html

Roille Figners said...

Firefox in Android doesn't seem to either. You have to use Chrome I guess? Google is not playing nice, surprise surprise.

Spokey said...

@Roille

Commentary works OK on my android firefox 'cept for the fuck-o caps it keeps inserting

oh and the preview sucks too



from my galaxy s4 mini - firefox

Roille Figners said...

Spokers - lemme axe you this: Do you have AdBlock installed? That might actually be my problem.

Spokey said...


no, not on the smarting phone

actually don't have it on pc either. i just use ghostery to blocks etc which blocks some but not all ads.

Spokey said...

that is to block bots etc

Spokey said...


ah, the previous garnered me the prized century and one half podium.

what a way to cap my week-end.

Captain Obvious said...

I would remind you all of Captain Obvious's advice regarding our favorite frenemy, CJ: Don't engage with him.** When you do, it makes his teeny, tiny micropenis feel ever so slightly larger. And it deepens his delusion that his elaborate fantasy life might be just a tiny bit real (Bosnian? Ukrainian? Serbian? His stories about his Eastern European conquests are so obviously lies that I doubt that even he can keep them all straight). CJ wants you to engage with him and he wants you to insult him because it makes him feel like he's not the irrelevant, friendless, basement-dwelling, virginile turd that he is. Let him bloviate pointlessly and without reaction from anyone and he might just get bored and leave. That's my hope anyway.

** I know that I am guilty of ignoring my own advice from time to time. I know. He's frustrating and it's tempting to engage him and insult him directly.

Captain Obvious said...

Re: CJ's Mom at 12:33. She may have begat and raised CJ, which seems like it may have been some sort of karmic punishment, but that lady does know what she's talking about.

Captain Oblivious said...



what is a CJ

Captain Obvious said...

That's the right attitude, Captain Oblivious.

dop said...

BamaPhred- are you able to post from your I-5 if you switch to we view?

dop said...

Web view

P. Bateman said...

i think Snob needs to make some investments in technical upgrades and in his customer service. I've been on hold with IT for an hour.

this is just absurd. Clearly i have better things to do.



Spokey said...

are you nutz?

being on hold is the greatiest. sit there watching stupid tv muted. sipping your scotch and soda. imagining what you're going to call the poor fuck-o who draws your straw and must apologize (i really hate that), and take your guff.

i try to break something at least once a day so i can call support.

oh, and having been on the other side, when you imagine that, while you're on hold, they are belittling you, laughing about how the size of your penis is smaller than cj's, etc. well you're right, they are.

P. Bateman said...

how'd the japanese whiskey work out? i had a real kantucky native and bourbon snob try some recently and she wasn't terribly impressed.

Spokey said...

haven't opened it yet. was going to but i'm in a rush tonight. have to go to bed early to get up go to the grandkid's skool for grandparent's day. fuck-o(e)s schedule it for 8:15. fuck-o. not that i have to get up by 8:15 but have to get up, pretend to shower, get dressed, drive there, go through the clint eastwood gauntlet and arrive in the classroom by 8:15.

but hey it's worth it to listen to some old biddy read some stupid 30 page 15 word story about how great loving grandparents are. i'd say fuck 'em but we went for the first one so now we're committed. or at least i should be committed. at least i'm making princess pay the price by doing thanks-giving again this year.

so i stayed with the tried and trusty glenmorangie. just about done and going off (not foffing off, jeez) to get my beee-uety reast.

leroy said...

Spokey- True story: several years ago, had intractable computer problem. After many calls, finally wound up with Apple Support guy in Austin. Made Lance Armstrong joke, learned support guy rode a Pinarello, discussed bikes, found out he was a BSNYC fan. Guy couldn't have been nicer. Solved my computer problem.

P. Bateman said...

marshawn lynch was just riding a stationary bike on the sideline and he wasnt wearing a helmut.

i've alerted the media.

ChamoisJuice said...

BikeSnobNYC,

re: breaking shit & "I tend to attribute that as much if not more to component gimmickry as to aggressive riding. It's a failure of the bike industry more than anything."

Could not disagree with you more. While there certainly are a lot of stupid standards. planned obselescence, BOLDNEWGRAPHICS, proprietarty BS, there have also been a TON of big innovations that have improved mountain bikes's abilities, as well as durability significantly in the time I have been riding since 94 or so. Shocks that work. Disc brakes. Bigger wheelsizes. Much improved tire tech. Wider range gearing, and much more durable derailleurs. And of course the dropper post.
This is the first decent expension fork, marzocchi Z1 in 1997 Coil and oil bath, 100mm travel, quite plush and required little maintenance. It did weigh maybe 5.5 pounds. And dove quite a bit under braking, and wallowed in corners in comparison to newer forks with improved valving. I loved the fork, and wouldn't consider it "obsolete". I mean, it works a shitload better than a rigid fork. Is a newer fork lighter, and better performing? Absolutely. Also, the 1 1/8" steerer broke out of the crown of mine. Lucky I didn't lose teeth. Have not had that happen to a tapered steerer fork....

Believe it or not, the last few years, I had been riding a 29" hardtail, not that far removed from that On-One you have, aside from not having antiquated geometry. You actually have more baller shocks and parts than I do, too. I have a bit more travel out of the fork, bit meatier tires, hydraulic brakes. I am kinda a cheap skate, so slow adopter of new tech. I'm not buying it first year it comes out at XTR level. I'll wait 3 years til it trickles down to SLX, 105, or Zee.

ChamoisJuice said...

Initially, I was a hater on dropper posts. WTF is wrong with a seat QR?!?! I have my seat up, when I'm going up the hill. Then I put it down to go down the hill. I'm not racing.. I stop at the top of the hill to eat beef jerky, take in the view, smoke a joint, rub one out, etc. Then I borrowed a buddy's bike that had one.. HOLY SHIT THEY ARE AWESOME.

Not all droppers are hydraulic. The OG dropper, the Gravity Dropper, is literally a coil spring, and a lever operated pin with 3 positions. up, 2", 4" drop. There is a chinese knockoff that like $68, that a bunch of people are on. TMARS Adjustable Seatpost Seat Post , 27.2X400mm
The problem with 27.2 posts, is you only get 100mm drop. With the exception of the thomson which is $$$$$$$ and 125mm. 30.9 and 31.6 has waaaaaay more selection, and 150mm drop versions.
I actually think the next "Stupid new standard" we will see in MTB's is larger diameter seat tubes 34.9 or whatevers, for more room for reliable guts, less flex, moar drop travel.
The best one out imo is 9point8 Fall Line Fully mechanical, very simple. Easton and Raceface have licensed this design, and have it made in taiwan, and sell em for $500. 9point8 makes em in house in canada, and sells them consumer direct for $370. They cannot keep up with demand. They have 170mm and 200mm drop versions coming out. No 27.2mm, tho :/
I have a KS Lev, but 150mm does not quite cut it.

Marin has not really been relevant in the MTB world for 15-20 years. They must have hired a new product guy within the last 2 years, cuz I have noticed that they are making an effort, at least.

I do feel like speccing 27.2 post in 2015, is error of the magnitude of bridgestone refusing to get on the indexed shifting and threadless headset train.
It's weird. The $3000 dollar version of that chubby bike, does have a dropper and 30.9 seattube. However the frame has even MOAR disgusting lines, with a hideous bent downtube, and fucktarded internal cable routing... for the hydro brakes too. MECHANICS HATE HIM, whoever the marin bike designer dood is.
/bike nerd

ChamoisJuice said...

I had a good weekend, thanks. Got a little tipsy at that ski party and sent the jewish righteous cyclist a text:
"I am somewhat inebriated right now, and feel like I need to tell you I totally have a crush on you. smiley with the hearts for eyes. See no evil monkey emoji"
Aha! That's sweet to hear! I was sorta hoping so.
":0) We should hang out"
Lets do that


I have never dated a Serbian. I kinda regret describing the Ukrainian as such, because she's not 1st generation or anything. I dunno, it just was kinda the easiest way to describe/objectify her. She really was not particularly interesting or memorable. I know there are some that think I completely fabricate these stories. I don't, and in fact there are many stories I don't tell. Went to a party. Flirted with moderately attractive woman with typical job. She was drunk. We had sex. It was not that awesome. THE END is not a particularly entertaining story.

Spokey said...


@leroy

i am sure there are many pockets of resistance to the help desk creed. i hear apple is a hotbed of these felons. but trust me. they will be weeded out.

BikeSnobNYC said...

ChamoisJuice,

Your list of "innovations" is highly relative. The proportion of meaningful refinements to marketing BS is the exactly same in mountain biking as it is in all the other marketing segments of bicycle-cycling. You just like playing with cool MTB parts, so you think they're somehow less silly than the roadie parts. And that's OK, but just remember the mountain dork who's excited because his suspension and dropper allows him to descend a little faster is no different than the Fred who's excited because he gets the same results out of his new crabon wheels.

So have fun with your seats that go up and down and all the rest of it, and I'll have fun on my artisanal singlespeed.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...


Monday Podium !

vsk

dop said...

If the term, 'chubby bike' catches on, will Marin thank me?

Anonymous said...

"If the term, 'chubby bike' catches on, will Marin thank me?"

No, but the running joke here is Specialized will sue you.

N/A said...

I like my bikes like I likes my womens: GOOD OLD-FASHIONED REAR SPACING.

Anonymous said...

This is not a diary

N/A said...

Nor is it a dairy.

David Carless said...

This ain't no disco

P. Bateman said...

i'm sorry sir, i think i coined chubby bike (TM). send royalty checks to 55 West 81st Street, American Gardens Building.

Anonymous said...

"Chubby Bike" has been all over internet comments since Sea Otter in May. Your comment is as original as people who make "you must play basketball" jokes to tall people. i.e. OBVIOUS

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