Monday, November 16, 2015

A Walk Down Hyperbole Lane

In the dynamic and vibrant literary genre that is the anti-cyclist screed, one common rhetorical device employed by writers is drawing a comparison between cyclists and terrorists. The word "terrorism" in this context (or indeed any context in which someone is making a highly spurious argument) basically becomes sort of a shorthand for "entitlement."  It's a facile, throwaway insult, and by now we've almost come to take it for granted--which we shouldn't, because it's fucking stupid.  It's an analogy that's in poor taste at any time, but the horrific events of this past weekend serve to remind us just how abjectly moronic it is, and perhaps by thumbing through some examples now we can inspire people to stop using it once and for all.

One instance that leaps to mind is Washington Post columnist Courtland Milloy's infamous "Bicyclist Bullies" story:


That's the one in which he said he could relate to wanting to pay $500 to run down a cyclist with your car:

It’s a $500 fine for a motorist to hit a bicyclist in the District, but some behaviors are so egregious that some drivers might think it’s worth paying the fine.

And in which he referenced both "The Muppets" and terrorism in the same paragraph:

On Wednesday, the Washington Area Bicyclist Association’s Bike Ambassadors will ride to the NoMa Summer Screen viewing of “The Muppets” “to hand out surprise goodies to people who biked.” There’ll be kids and bikes and Muppets, as if Kermit is supposed to make us forget about the biker terrorists out to rule the road.

Yes, when I think kids and bikes and Muppets the first thing I think of is terrorism:


Though Kermit isn't wearing a helme(n)t, so maybe Courtland was onto something after all.

Our nation's capital isn't the only city under siege from "terrorists" either, as this Chicagoan can well attest:


While leaving the Printer's Row Lit Fest last week, I was almost run down by three two wheeled terrorists riding their personal weapons of destruction (PWDs) on the sidewalk, weaving between several pedestrians.

I exclaimed, "Look at these F@#$ing morons."

Who talks like that at a literary festival!

Cyclists may be "terrorists," but you, sir are a vulgarian!


Then again, I can understand his anger, because he did witness the cyclists causing injury to innocent pedestrians.

Oh, wait, no he didn't:

It is surprising they have not injured people while weaving in and out of that heavy pedestrian traffic.

Even worse than simply calling cyclists terrorists is when an actual cyclist does it and takes the analogy way too far in the process:

CRITICAL MASSHOLES ARE NOT CYCLISTS:
Critical Massholes are to fundamentalist terrorists what Islam is to cycling. I love cycling but I am not a Critical Masshole. Likewise, many of my best friends are Muslim, but they are not terrorists. However, in the “profiling” era we live in society no longer takes the time to assess what one individual is doing. Instead society judges based on what they’ve seen recently with their own eyes. Every afternoon on the last Friday of the month thousands of Critical Massholes take over the city streets and ruin people’s daily routine.

There really needs to be a function in autocorrect that warns you when you're typing the phrase "many of my best friends are..."

Maybe that would have stopped him from saying that terrorists are people who "take over the streets and ruin people's daily routine."


("There goes my daily routine!  The terrorists have won!")

Yes, when it comes to bicycles, the bar for terrorism is astonishingly low:


Two-wheeled terrorists

Bicyclists should be grateful that Madison's alders cared enough about their safety to allow them on sidewalks designed only for pedestrians ("Bad Madison Bicyclists," Tell All, 4/4/2014). They have obligations to give pedestrians the utmost safety. Anything less is terrorism and negligence and being a taker. No walker deserves to be frightened. Those who blame the victim display a callous uncaring for their own behavior's harmful impact to the extent it causes fear or worse.

Susan Michetti, Mount Horeb

If "being a taker" is terrorism then what does that make the typical Olive Garden diner?


This isn't to say that cyclists don't hurt or even kill people, because once in awhile they do...and this obviously makes them terrorists:

They’re terrorists on wheels. Assassins in Spandex.

The bicycle menaces must be stopped.

Though beware the law of unintended consequences, because if you get rid of the cyclists then what excuse will taxi drivers use for running over pedestrians on the sidewalk?


"This is what cab drivers have to deal with every day.

"It could have happened to any of us."

Mr Himon, who launched the fund for Ms Green with the New York State Federation of Taxi Drivers, claimed the cyclist had pounded on his car and yelled at him.

Speaking of taxi drivers, earlier this year London's taxi chief famously called cyclists the "ISIS of London:"



"The loonies out there in the cycling world, they're almost the sort of ISIS of London," McNamara, general secretary of the Licensed Taxi Drivers Association, told LBC Radio. "Their views and their politics — if you are not with them — and we are with the majority of it — then nothing is too bad for you. These people are unreal."

Unreal indeed.

And of course with cycling and terrorism so clearly linked, anti-bike lane forces have done their best to use this connection to cause mass hysteria.  Remember back in 2011 when CBS News predicted doom because a bike lane was going to pass by the Israeli consulate?



“It was bedlam,” Silberblatt said. “Anybody trying to ride a bike is taking their life in their hands. It’s that dangerous.”

CBS 2 scoped out the area and spotted other potential dangers. Buses come down 48th Street and travel one block to 49th to turn around. They have to cross the new bike lane twice within one block.

A Second Avenue bike lane is next to the Israeli consulate, leaving many wondering what would happen if a man on a bike were a terrorist.

Because of course none of the cars, trucks, or buses streaming by as she spoke could possibly have contained terrorists.

And more recently, in suburban London:



Terrorist attacks, undiscovered unexploded bombs and a potential to poison the London water supply have all been listed as reasons against a proposed cycle path between New Malden and Raynes Park.

So there you go.

The above notwithstanding, it's important to keep in mind that the terrorism references work both ways, and cyclists themselves will invoke it to portray themselves as martyrs and feed their own persecution complexes.  Consider celebrity bike salmon Alec Baldwin:



Alec Baldwin is still berating the cops who arrested him for riding his bike against traffic, joking to Page Six, “There is only one crime more serious in New York than riding a bike the wrong way down the street, and that’s terrorism.”

The actor, smarting after he was busted for riding his bike the wrong way against traffic on Fifth Avenue on Tuesday, said he believes he was targeted by cops who acted far too heavy-handed over his cycle crime because of his celebrity status.

This is obviously not true, because obviously you can easily slip "selling loose cigarettes" between the two.

Of course, if we move beyond newspaper columnists and indignant celebrities into the sordid world of tweets and internet comments it's almost too easy, since at this point there should be a corollary to Godwin's Law stating that any mention of cyclists will eventually attract a comparison to terrorists.  This graphic illustrates this rule to great effect, as does the following tweet:
They should be so lucky.

Still, even though finding cyclists=terrorists on the Internet is as easy as finding chainring tattoos at a charity ride rest stop, it's still noteworthy how even the most benign behavior can inspire such rage.  Consider this video:



I don't know, that group looked pretty civil and considerate to me.  Even so:
Bonus points for ironic use of "literally."

By the way, it just so happens that while browsing the Internet this morning on the subject of cyclists and ISIS, the following tweet popped up:

I wouldn't have even thought anything of it, except it turned out the tweeter was a writer for the "Tonight Show:"


So I tweeted what I thought was a fairly benign dig in comparison, though the tweeter was indignant, pointing out he'd crafted the bon mot before the events in Paris.  You know, back on November 4th, before we knew ISIS were so bad:
Indeed, I really seemed to get under his skin:


If nothing else, it's interesting and perhaps worrisome that a written expression less than two weeks old is now considered "old" and "forgotten."

Of course, as (presumably) non-cyclists, people who make these sorts of jokes can be forgiven for not realizing how many other people out there express these sentiments with sincerity--and often back them up with physical intimidation out there on the road.  Instead, they deflect any criticism and instead characterize cyclists as humorless.  We all know this isn't the case, and we also know there are about a million ways to laugh at us--but saying the same stuff as people who try to run us off the road and occasionally kill us usually isn't one of them.

At the very least, joke writers aside, if column writers and policy makers have any sense they'll expunge the whole terrorism thing from their repertoire and find other ways to negatively characterize us.

Which I suppose means they won't.


104 comments:

Happy Unicorn said...

Jailhouse fellator says "Some people have low susceptibility to advertising and marketing techniques."

Ted K. said...

80. People vary in their susceptibility to advertising and marketing techniques. Some are so susceptible that, even if they make a great deal of money, they cannot satisfy their constant craving for the the shiny new toys that the marketing industry dangles before their eyes. So they always feel hard-pressed financially even if their income is large, and their cravings are frustrated.

Paul Kirby said...

Do what?

P. Bateman said...

Always

Be

Cycling

Spokey said...

thank lob finally a top 10

cdinvb said...

Bing Bong!

dnk said...

That Mike Drucker guy really is an idiot. I'll forgive him for that though.

But calling himself a comedian: now that's unforgivable.

leroy said...

If I have learned anything from my dog, it's that you can't negotiate with terriers.

Of course, I allow for the possibility that I haven't learned anything from my dog.

Schisthead said...

Using hyperbole? You've gone off the deep end.

Spokey said...


hmmm. we know ted doesn't count. happy claimed to be a bot too (to beat teddy at his own game i think). so do we ignore his also? if so, i finally got a podi prize today. and it wasn't the whitey jerzey

Anonymous said...

Hey

cycle

N/A said...

"Mike Drucker" rhymes with "Fu...rniture".

P. Bateman said...

i can tell you this much about my daily routine, and the daily routine of daily routine lady...

that isn't coffee on that gal's blouse.

i really need to drink more water...

Dorothy Rabinowitz said...

ChamoisJuice claims to have slept with me. He most certainly did not. He ignorantly labeled me based on my ethnicity and religious beliefs, but just cowered in the corner and never made a move.

Dan Rather said...

Americans will put up with anything as long as it doesn't block traffic.

Jon Webb said...

I think that to the extent we immediately start comparing ISIS and cyclists after something like what happened in Paris, we're doing the opposite of what the terrorists want. They want to be taken to be a threat to Western civilization, not an annoyance that slows you down on the way to work.

JLRB said...

B-Snob - good for you for calling that twat out on twitter - some stupid movie I watched this weekend (The Gift) had this theme about planting ideas in peoples' minds (which it planted in my mind).

Idiots who commonly use of terms like "terrorist" not only water down the meaning, but they also put negative thought association with bikecyclerists in mushy-brained peoples' heads. They then repeat stupid dieas, like the brain dead people Stevel shamed last week.

So now Mike Drucker is mad because the inevitable bad acts by ISIS make him look like the asshole that he is, hacking away for cheap humorous responses at the expense of others. Poor little Mikey. Fuck him.

Freddy Murcks said...

Mike "the fucker" Drucker should know that the internet is forever. That's why I never post anything controversial under my own name.

Finger Bang said...

Buenos dias!

Freddy Murcks said...

The anti-Ted K. bot is now my favorite thing on the internet. It's the sort of thing that I wish I had the skills, time, and cleverness to implement. Thank you, Happy Unicorn.

McFly said...

Let's get her out of that blouse and get it in the wash before the stain sets in.

Juan said...

I see the woman who was on about “terrorism and negligence and being a taker” is from Mt. Horeb. I’ve been there. Ever since the mustard museum moved to Middleton, all Mt. Horeb has going for it is its trolls.

ChamoisJuice said...

Why do normal people hate cyclists??

I'd argue it's because we steal from them, that most valuable commodity:

I am the destroyer of mountains, the killer of kings. I always fly by, yet I don't have wings. I can end basketball games or marriages with similar ease. And though I flow like a stream, only water can freeze. I've murdered parents and children and houseplants galore, Yet despite all this you always want more.
Who am I?


I want to kill motherfuckers when I get held up in traffic, and the culprit is a fatal car crash and emt response. When it's a group of overweight, middleaged doods in spandex riding three abreast?!?!?!?!? Totally understand the desire to puteminaditch and shit down their throat. FUCK YOU AND YOUR BALLERINA COSTUME, SRSLY!

Cyclists steal time from normal people = cyclists are slowly killing normal people = cyclists are terrorists

jk :P

Gene Rottenberry said...

Can someone devise and anti-CJ bot that will figure out what he's going to say before he says it and mocks him for saying before he says it? It shouldn't be too difficult. He has a limited range of things that he writes about: meaningless bike setup minutiae (e.g., frame geometry, boner stems, dropper posts, bars, stem spacers, brake lever positioning, etc.), fictional sexual encounters with eastern Europeans, fictional social/sexual encounters with women in general, and casual antisemitism just about covers the range of possibilities.

Grump said...

Snobby, it's the American way to shoot your mouth off and take things to the crazy level. People eat it up. Have you wasted your time on any of the Presidential Debates??

janinedm said...

I know this, but let me put in writing that the global dependence on fossil fuels is one of, if not THE, biggest contributing factor to the conditions that create terrorists. ...and what does a Fallon writer even do? That show relies on games and lip-syncing over jokes.

balls™ said...

In that case, can I be the first person to point out that the geometry of Kermit's frame is all wrong for him? Talk about goofy tiller effect. And those bars... Nobody will fuck him with that whip under him. I wish CJ would help Kermit with his set-up. Perhaps he could suggest a different seat post diameter?

janinedm said...

balls, you never read that article about amphibian-specific gravel bikes?

N/A said...

Kermit needs a chubby bike.

Freddy Murcks said...

janinedm - Don't you know that this is a humorous bike blog? You're gonna have to go elsewhere if you want to post (absolutely mutherfuckin' true) statements about geopolitics.

Just kidding, of course. This commentariat needs more people like you.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

To compare the death and mayhem wrought by cyclists vs. motorists? Who's the real ter... ... I won't say it. Can't have anything negative said about driving an absurdly huge Toyota SUV around a city ... oh wait, who else drives Toyota SUVs?

Yes, ... the internet is forever... until the first EMP nuke, then it's not. Unless there's a paper backup someplace.

vsk

N/A said...

Specialized is currently developing a swamp bike with the all-new FAT+ tires. 12 inches. You run 'em at 2 PSI for maximum flotation. They are going to co-brand it with the new Muppet Show.

Anonymous said...

i dunno, i think riding two abreast on a busy one lane road is uncalled for. not terrorists, douchebags is a better description

Carlos Caliente said...

You can't spell Mike Drucker without

Mr U Reek Dick!

ChamoisJuice said...

I do talk about the CAT6 race of life, too many rats in a cage, population overload bringing out worst in humanity with some regularity, too.
http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2013/08/a-great-big-bummer-for-your-wednesday.html

I'd rather talk about how bikesnob is a retro grouch and absolutist, and has his head in the sand about the fact that some new bike technology is not pure marketing BS, but actually improves the experience of the ride.
Cool vid of Deadly Nedly Overend, reminicing about his early 90's bike, and comparing it to a current whip
Yes, yes, yes, Ned is a hated specialized employee, and this vid is thinly veiled advertisement. But Ned is inspiration to old doods everywhere. And he actually does a good job of explaining the new ideas and tech that have changed the game in the last 25 years.

That said, My road bike/commuter is about 25 years old. In my mind, it is really not very technologically different than your brand new Milwaukee.
Yes, your bike does have a bit wider gearing range, and tighter spaced ratios. But both bikes have indexed shifting from the brake levers, 2X cranks.
Yes, your bike can fit a red irish cunthair fatter tires. Which I am jealous of.
And it has a threadless fork, and 2piece crank with oversized spindle. Stronger, lighter, all that. I have never sheared a quill stem off, or snapped square spindle BB on a road bike, like I have on a mtb.
The two bikes are very similar, in my mind. Except that mine is hand crafted by Dave Moulton, one of my favorite bloggers. And features old world craftmanship, beautiful lugs cinelli bb shell, campy dropouts, columbus tubing. While yours is a boring tig welded commodity, marketed by a company who's "main thing" is fucking POLO BIKES and FIXED GEAR FREESTYLE. And my complete bike cost about half the price of your frame/fork.

dop said...

Maybe Ted K can start a blog called Botsnob NYC. Cyclists can go annoy the commentators.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Drucker was just ethered by Mr. Wildcat.

Jim Henson said...

Kermit be rocking a left drive brakeless fixie with the wacky tiller effect.

babble on said...

Oh for fucksake. Riding two abreast means we can ride a lot closer to the speed limit, and it also means that the group can act more like a car on the roads, including making it easier and safer to pass us. Whatsamatter, you poor, wee, fat impared motorists, can't take it that you might have to actually slow down from your forever-speeding habit and wait for an actual whole fucking minute before you get caught up in traffic again? Fucking fucktards. Heaven forfuckingbid a motorist might actually have to sit in their Manslaughter machines for a whole minute longer. That sure gives them the right to speed and risk lives. ONE MILLION PEOPLE died from cars last year - that's 1,000,000,000!!! - and all of the world's fucktarded pedestrians are afraid of US? Madness. Insanity. It's crazy!! People are so fucking stoopid. Terrorism is what cars do. Manslaughter IS the way of the roads, but nobody is talking about what we can actually do to stop the killing and slow the climate change. Nope. Let's just all hate on cyclists, shall we?

Happy fucking Monday. But hey, at least this Monday didn't see me get hit by one of those damned murder machines, so that's a better start than the other week. Where's the Zen Master when you need him?

wishiwasmerckx said...

CJ, just for the record--you do know that nobody here believes that you have a hand-crafted Dave Moulton, right?

And you do know that Moulton has not made bikes under his own name since 1983, so you have a math problem.

Please take your elaborate fantasy life elsewhere.

ChamoisJuice said...

LOL, it's a 89 Fuso with mid 90's chorus, and record wheels. So technically, he did have apprentices working for him doing the tube fit up. But he did all the brazing. It for sure has his signature on it. I have talked about this bike before... bought it from some retard who thought the bb shell was fuxored and put one of those goofy velo orange threadless BB's in it, and it creaked like hell. I tracked down a record cone and cup BB from the the bike co-op, chased, faced bb shell, and green loctited the driveside cup in, and haven't had a problem since.

Main things that bug me about it. Campy ergopower hoods from that era are too narrow, not that comfy. Record rear hub is starting to go south, and replacement cones are impossible to find. I am torn between need to keep it era correct and matchy matchy and the fact I'm a cheapskate.

http://www.davemoultonregistry.com/Fuso.html

Anonymous said...

MoreCJorImagonnaandsoforth

ChamoisJuice said...

Okay, okay. You got me, WIWM. I don't have a Dave Moulton. I made that up so that you all would think that I'm cool. But I do have a hand-crafted hand full of my own gizz, which is almost as good as a Dave Moulton. Right? I am going to smear it all over my asshole and see if it can help me get this butt plug in.

P. Bateman said...

oh yeah? well my david moulton is slightly bigger than yours. so take that mutha' fuckaaaa'

rambling on said...

hey bubble on, how many cars do you see riding on the fog line on a two lane road so other cars can pass them safely and easy? riding two bikes abreast on a narrow, winding no shoulder road is stupido, ill-conceived, self-centered (really). there is a time and place for that, and that was not one of them.
the vid looks like it was taken on some old euro socialist road.

Anonymous said...

Number of people killed by cars >>> number of people killed by ISIS.
Number of US citizens on bikes killed by cars >> number of US citizens killed by ISIS.

Bikesy said...

All this Dave Moulton talk keeps getting me excited as I'm getting him confused with Alex Moulton, the real deal when it comes to crazy bike design. Look him up and you'll see what I mean...

JLRB said...

Number of comparisons of apples >>> Number of comparisons of oranges

JLRB said...

Wasn't he the lead actor in Moulton Rouge?

DB said...

Juan:
Don't forget that Mt. Horeb now has the Duluth Trading store where you can get underwear that doesn't show the crack of your ass when you bend over.
It's a strange little town.

Spokey said...

We all know this isn't the case, and we also know there are about a million ways to laugh at us--but saying the same stuff as people who try to run us off the road and occasionally kill us usually isn't one of them.

wait a minute. where is that blog where commenters are constantly posting something like "run him into da deeetch"? i thoughty it was this one.

'course i think i can tell humour from non-humour (even when it's bad humor) and mike is just a fuck-o-head.

Anonymous said...

This mad scientist engineering student who got top 10 finishes in Norba national DH races on bizarre, garage fabricated crabon fibre bikes? Among the ideas this out of the box thinking experimented with, 29" wheels for DH, waaaay before decent 29" tires were available, going so far as to cut and sew his own tires. Bikes with two pivots and two shocks, that created a true "floating" virtual pivot, that firmed up under pedalling load, and allowed for crazy rear ward wheelpath through the gnar.

Who is ______?

Wait I'm buggin' that's Alex Morgan. Moulton is the stupid folding bike guy

Anonymous said...

"Moulton is the stupid folding bike guy"

The original small wheel bicycle designed and patented by Alex Moulton was not a folding bike. Raleigh made folding version of a modified Moulton, after they brought the right to it.

P. Bateman said...

just went out to the old land cruiser to grab my chubby bike out and the damn rear tire is flat as the back that ronda rousey got knocked on to.

the center of the presta seems bent....never had this happen. is that broken? i pump but it loses air out of the valve faster than i can pump.

damn. just replaced that one. god i suck at bikes.

Dr Evil said...


Babble, 1,000,000,000 = 1 billion, not 1 million

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Snobby,

Reading your post, I was reminiscing about the days we were referred to as "Bike Nazis" Then I came across this ditty which creates a hyper - hyperbole.. Nazi - Islamic Bikes from Hell. I think they could have worked fuck o in there too.


http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/06/06/nazi-islamic-bikes-from-hell/?_r=0

No Need to Thank Me said...

Dr. Evil;

A billion is a number with two distinct definitions

Anonymous said...

The stupid things I see in my daily commute by death machine make me wonder why I let myself ride on the road. Ever. Dumb-ass stupid things to get to work 30 seconds sooner. Why die to get to work on time?

Anonymous said...

Das Nazi Fahrrad, The Nazi Bike

Anonymous said...

Monday Quiz:

How many times did Babble use "fuck" in her post:

A: 1-3, B: 4-6, C: 7-10, D: 11-to infinity and beyond. E: * Not Once

* A nice babe from Vancouver would never use a word like that.

Anonymous said...

Riding a bicycle is about ultimate freedom. I wear a helmet all the time but I hate the Helmet Nazi, the Bike Nazi or the Thought Nazi. I don't blame the kids because they just want to be free. BTW, they probably won't be free when they are adults.

Dooder ruined the Charlie Chaplin mustache

JLRB said...

Wanna see how your state/local rank in bike-fredliness?

Cusop Dingle said...

Traffic laws could be greatly simplified. One law, requiring that the larger of two collidants is automatically deemed at fault, could replace volumes, including all the disputes about cyclists.

What if a herd of kindergartners decided to have a Critical Mass walk down Fifth?

JB said...

Wait, is Alec Baldwin wearing velco-strapped busboy shoes?

babble on said...

Heh. Well maths have never been my strong point. It's still a fucktonne of lives lost through motor vehicles, and not from cyclists using the road, two by two or otherwise.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

I think Alec Baldwin is CJ

Dooth said...

People who blithely use terrorist analogies has gives Scranus cancer.

EricBikeCO said...

+1 to Babs for fucking knowing how make a fucking point.

David G said...

I heard a WCBS news radio report yesterday about the "World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims" march from City Hall to the U.N., and—at least in the context of this story—the reporter assiduously used the word "collision", and never "accident". So there's a bit of progress on that front.

Anonymous said...

The entire spill was dispersed on the right breast. What's this? Amateur hour? I gentleman aims for center mass......

BamaPhred said...

Hello Babble. Zen Master must have run out of fucks for the year.

bad boy of the north said...

here's an old joke that's almost forgotten....good evening,i just flew in and,boy,are my arms tired.thank you.appearing almost nightly.

bad boy of the north said...

...and sometimes daily.

Anonymous said...

Back on Nov 4 ISIS was only downing russian planes, so still funny comparison back then.

Happy Unicorn said...

.

four hour erection said...

I LUV it when Babble posts dirty!

Anonymous said...

I keep checking this bullshit blog to read some hate and all I get is this fucking picture that every fixed gear bike shop dick head posted on their tumblr. Update your shit!

Happy Unicorn said...

Unicorn

Happy Unicorn said...

WTF?

Happy Unicorn said...

I am Happy

Happy Unicorn said...

e

Happy Unicorn said...

A

P. Bateman said...

if you eat unicorn, do the little pieces just come out the same in your poop?

Anonymous said...

Here's an Australian equivalent of the cyclists as terrorists motif.

JLRB said...

I'd rather be a Terroirist

Happy Unicorn said...

OK last try. Sorry folks, testing. Bateman the answer is: "Little unicorns fly out of your ass."

Happy Unicorn said...

a

Happy Unicorn said...

1

Happy Unicorn said...

2

Ranger Dick said...

CJ must have been successful at inserting that butt plug. He turned awful quiet after he said he was working on getting it in. If a butt plug can shut CJ up, it must confirm what we have all suspected that he talks out of his ass. I say we take up a collection and send Mr. Cleveland Jacobs a gross.

Anonymous said...

Been busy with other shit.

-taking a dump feels good. Why?
-the prostate
-GGG I get a lil cray. Not hooking up car batteries or anything bigger than a normal turd or my own dong.
-TOO MUCH INFORMATION

On a related note. If you have never tasted your own emission
1. you suck as a lover
2. you are a closeted homophobe.

Please continue to advertise your sexual hangups and fear of being a dreaded fag tho

Anonymous said...

Patrick Hardison’s face was not always his own.
Three months ago, it belonged to a young Brooklyn bike mechanic.

Paul Heckbert said...

"Critical Massholes are to fundamentalist terrorists what Islam is to cycling".
Huh?
"What Islam is to cycling" ... which is what?
I would argue that Islam is to cycling what jazz is to sailing.

Anonymous said...

Obviously those guys in the last video were as bad as ISIS, but they were not being considerate. They were riding two abreast and blocking traffic. If they were being considerate they would would go to single file so vehicles moving faster than them could get by. That is the norm, common courtesy etc....

Anower said...

I think balance bikes are great but can someone tell me how they “teach skills like…using caution, as well as basic traffic rules”?
Very timely publication, as we’re right now in the process of putting a page together with the aim to find some sponsoring.

Anonymous said...

Genius post Wild Cat!

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Macros Satu said...

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