Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Get Wednesday!



(Do what the sign says, kids!)

As we all know, "Riding a bike in NYC with your kid on the back is basically child abuse"--which is why I've been portaging mine on the front:


(Child has already disembarked.)

Indeed, we've both been enjoying the kiddie seat on the WorkCycles FR8, for the following reasons:

--The kiddies love having their noses in the wind, especially on the descents;
--When you need to text or tweet, you just let your child steer for you (I always drive with a kid on my lap for the same reason);
--If you lose the kid you know right away, whereas if you hit a speed bump and they fall of the back it could be miles before you notice.

In all seriousness, the front seat is great.  My eldest human child is getting pretty sizable, so shifting that weight from the stern to the bow has made the schlepping much easier, and we're both quite comfortable.  If you have school-age offspring you wish to transport smugly I highly recommend it.

Anyway, after I dropped mine off at the brainwashing factory I returned a book to the liberry:


Here's the book I borrowed, in case you care:


I checked it out to read on my summer vacation, yet I only just finished it owing to my hectic type A lifestyle, and if you'd like my complete review of the book you can find it here.

And yes, in case you were wondering, I do fully embrace the fact that I've become the sort of old fuddy-duddy who rides around town on a utility bike returning liberry books.

Don't laugh, it could happen to you, too.

Hey, it's best to age gracefully as a cyclist, because if you're not careful you could wind up with a camera on your head chasing kids half your age:


Anything but that.

Speaking of the supposed "dangers" of schlepping a kid on your bike, the truth is they're probably a lot safer there then they are simply standing on the sidewalk minding their own business:


See, at least on the bike you're a moving target:

At least four pedestrians, including multiple children, were struck by a livery cab driver early this morning on a Bronx sidewalk. There are currently no reported casualties, although two children are in critical condition.

Hmmm, judging from the condition of that car it's clearly safe to assume the driver was following all traffic rules and was driving at the new citywide 25mph speed limit.

Or, maybe the driver is just one of the hundreds of people in New York City who have tragically fallen victim to a defective accelerator:



I'm still waiting for someone to address this epidemic of supposedly defective accelerators.

It's almost as though every single one of these drivers is lying.

By the way, at least one of those "accelerator defective" collisions says there was also a "failure to yield the right of way" on the part of the other driver.  This is raises an interesting question:

So if an out-of-control driver is hurtling towards you is it still your responsibility to yield?

The answer to this--and any question regarding motor-vehicular mayhem in New York City--is of course "no criminality suspected."

Oh yes, things can get pretty crazy out there on the mean streets of New York City:



Which is why one "journalist" wants to remind you that "New York isn't a bike city:"


Journalism isn’t typically considered among the riskier of professions—at least if you confine your reporting to the five boroughs. But I undertook an assignment on Wednesday afternoon that put me in imminent physical peril: I rode a Citi Bike for the first time.

Firstly, it seems to me if you're not taking risks as a journalist you're doing it wrong.  I mean, at least lie about it, like Brian Williams.

Secondly, Citi Bike isn't dangerous.  In June alone there were 941,117 Citi Bike trips--and since the system debuted in May 2013 not one of these trips has ended in death.

Anyway, this particular risk-averse journalist learned there was a Citi Bike station near him when his neighbors started kvetching about it:

I learned of this ostensibly felicitous development while walking my dog one night and running into a couple who live on that block. They moaned about the number of automobile parking spaces the docking station would consume.

I’ve since heard from others encouraging me to investigate journalistically the arrival of Citi Bike in our neighborhood. Some suggested nefarious motives; others conspiracy theories.

“Why here? Why east of Park Avenue? Why so many?” one wrote.

You have to be a psychopath to live in Manhattan and expect street parking.  This is like moving to the country and complaining to your neighbors, "WON'T SOMEBODY COME AND BUILD SOME SKYSCRAPERS???"

To his credit, our "journalist" seems to have more common sense:

Maybe I’m just naïve, but I tend to think of a bike-share program as a good thing. Bikes don’t pollute. They provide exercise. And they offer a sensible alternative to sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic while your blood pressure rises in direct correlation to the soaring fare on the taxicab meter.

No, you're not naïve, that's exactly true.

Yet for some reason he can't seem to come to grips with the idea of riding a bike here:

But one reason I wasn’t tempted to mount the sturdy-looking bikes earlier is because they would seem to pose risks even more pressing than those of a cardiovascular nature.

Namely, that you could get thrown head over heels by a car door opening unexpectedly in your path, or crushed under the wheels of a tractor-trailer.

I don’t care what anybody says, New York isn’t a bike city.

I certainly believe that this whole "America's Most Bike-Friendly City" thing is bullshit, but that doesn't mean bikes don't make sense here, since they most certainly do.  By his metric New York really isn't an anything city.  And it's certainly not a car city.

For one thing, there's no place to park.

Anyway, after all this, he finally checks out a Citi Bike, rides it for 20 minutes, and has no problems whatsoever:

I also managed to complete the entire odyssey within 20 minutes, and without any wounds.

Which the person responsible for Citi Bike summed up thusly:

Oh snap.

He just got Sadik-Khan-ed.

But while our intrepid journalist may have an irrational fear of bikes, he's not too timid to go swimming in the pond of his country home:



His own pond, huh?

He must live over on Breyer.



Meanwhile, in our nation's capitol capitle city where all the monuments are, public school students will now learn how to ride a bike in second grade:


This is great:

The students are among the first to take part in a new D.C. Public Schools program to teach every second-grader how to ride a bicycle. The school system, with help from the District Department of Transportation and private donors, purchased 1,000 bikes that will rotate to every elementary school by the end of the school year.

Wow, building bike infrastructure and encouraging people to use it?  Who'd have thunk it?

Kenyon said the District wants to make sure that students in all parts of the city know how to ride a bike, a skill that many people take for granted. In wards 7 and 8, with high concentrations of low-income families, officials are concerned that less access to bicycles, fewer bike lanes and no bike shops means that fewer children there are learning how to ride.

That concern comes as bicycle riding in the District and its suburbs is growing quickly, with a rapid expansion in popularity of bike sharing and miles of new bike lanes installed in recent years.

I can only imagine what Old Man Milloy thinks of all this:


("It's got my bib shorts in a twist.")

Unfortunately the stupid plastic hats are getting in the way:

“My friends know how to do it, but I don’t know how,” said 7-year-old Lachae Taylor as she began to learn at Walker-Jones on Wednesday. After a few minutes of wobbling, her helmet was pitched to the side of her head and both shoelaces on her sparkly high-tops were untied. Every time she lifted them to the pedals, the bike tilted to one side.

“I wish I had training wheels,” she said.

But I suppose I shouldn't be too picky.

Lastly, have you ever struggled to figure out a place to put your glasses when you're not wearing them?  Well, this guy has invented something anyway:


All else aside, I was amazed by this claim:


"One afternoon I went up on old San Marcos Pass and I probably found six or seven pair of glasses lying on the side of the road."

So are Santa Barbara Freds so concerned with their Strava times that they don't bother to pick up their glasses when they drop them?

I think we may have reached Peak Fred.

125 comments:

P. Bateman said...

boom!

Anonymous said...

PORT LAND

Chris said...

Podium!

P. Bateman said...

and thats after eating a big ass hot italian sandwich. still podiuminingng.

Unknown said...

63. So certain artificial needs have been created that fall into group 2, hence serve the need for the power process. Advertising and marketing techniques have been developed that make many people feel they need things that their grandparents never desired or even dreamed of. It requires serious effort to earn enough money to satisfy these artificial needs, hence they fall into group 2. (But see paragraphs 80-82.) Modern man must satisfy his need for the power process largely through pursuit of the artificial needs created by the advertising and marketing industry [11], and through surrogate activities.

ken e. said...

zoomin'

trama said...

PEEK FRED

GOOD POST

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

"There are currently no reported casualties, although two children are in critical condition."

Children in critical condition are not considered casualties?

Spokey said...

top 10 i hope i hope i hope

Carlos Caliente said...

Top Tennis!~

BikeSnobNYC said...

Pathetic Old Cyclist,

I think like me they get confused by the word "casualty." I also usually just assume it means death, though I realize it doesn't necessarily.

--Wildcat Etc.

P. Bateman said...

interesting that the glasses cozy inventor has american flag themed kit, but a mexican themed bike.

donald trump is right about NAFTA.

dnk said...

Stellar post today, Mr. Snob. Someday the "mainstream media" may just put you out of a job by responsibly reporting on the defective accelerator epidemic.

Wait. No, they would never do that.

Well, thanks for doing it for them.

Anonymous said...

Kiddies in front make a nice rain shield and airbag.

Spokey said...


--If you lose the kid you know right away, whereas if you hit a speed bump and they fall of the back it could be miles before you notice.


it happens. according to family lore, my grandfather bought himself an indian motorcycle in 1910. as was the proper decorum of the day, grandma rode behind him sidesaddle. one day he's chatting her up and at one point turns his head only to find he's by himself. apparently he had to go back several miles to retrieve his bride. either he was successful or i need to redo the genealogy chart.

Vernal Magina said...

I did lose a pair of Cycling Goggle Apparati Equipment Wear Systems shuttling down Fifth Avenue once, so maybe that guy has a point.

But alas they do tend to fit snugly in the lower-wrung ventilation system holes of a helment nonetheless when it starts to get too dark to optimally utilize or whatever.

Anonymous said...

The new smug is driving a VW TDi around Portland.

N/A said...

That bike learnin' is a surprisingly good idea. I wonder who the hell approved that?

Jon Webb said...

"The kiddies love having their noses in the wind, especially on the descents;"
Better double-check. Does your "kid" have fur and a tail?

N/A said...

Delia Ephron swims in Ralph Garner's seminal pond! Darby Monger disapproves, naturally.

Confused Not Dazed said...

"In all seriousness,....." You weren't?

David G said...

If all the official DC elementary-school bikes and hamlets are blue, like in the picture, it might pull focus from Congress.

P. Bateman said...

@anon - i wouldnt be so sure.

http://jalopnik.com/that-angry-wise-ass-portland-note-left-on-a-vw-diesel-w-1733700671

Fausto Coppi said...

"...mexican themed bike...."

Che non è una moto a tema messicano ma italiano.

Carlos Caliente said...

One Friday this past summer I found a $5 bill lying on River Road, part of NY's grundle between the GWB and Rockland County. As soon as I picked up the money and got back on my bike, I spotted a nice pair of Oakley's sitting on the rock ledge along the road - some other poor Fred must have left them while either fixing a flat or sprinkling money on the road (there was no spent tube or Gu wrapper left behind). I was very pleased with my finds that day, until I got home and both offspring informed me that the found pair of Oakleys were smaller than typical and of the "Asia Fit" variety. I didn't even know there was such a thing, and thought it would be too politically incorrect to exist, but it does!

BamaPhred said...

Peak Fred

Scranus

P. Bateman

"and thats after eating a big ass hot italian sandwich. still podiuminingng. "

Oooohhhhh, now I see it, "sandwich".

I was going to say congratulations, I will say it anyway.

DB said...

Thanks, Snob. Another stellar post.
Can't wait for tomorrow, though. October.
Snobtoberfest! Dirndls! Beer! Bike porn! Brats and pretzels!

Fausto Coppi said...

A meno che non pensi che il ciclista si presenta come un aquila su una roccia in un lago uccidendo un serpente.

Citi Bikes are the Best said...

Thanx for pointing out that Citi Bikes are safe. Even the so called "Bicycle Advocacy Groups" are reluctant to mention the ridiculously amazing safety record of Bike Share Bikes. 7 years and tens of millions of miles in more than 30 U.S.A. cities and not one (ZERO) fatality. And several of the Bike Share Cities have never had an injury (5 years in Madison=not a broken finger nail (O.K. so maybe an unreported broken finger nail or two)). It is like the "real bicyclists" (as in most really douchy) are afraid of sturdy, safe and worst of all slow bikes.

Freddy Murcks said...

Is there a Stava segment climbing segment called "peak fred"? If there isn't, there should be. The holder of the KOM could be given the title King of the Freds (No pro freds, please Let's limit this to doctors, dentists, stock brokers, and other type-A assholes who don't know how to have fun and who think that everything has to be a competition.).

Bryan said...

Oh Santa Barbara....I swear there were more cars than bikes in the part of it I was in (between downtown SB and UCSB).
Anyways, hope you are bracing for the impending doom of hurricane josjfefjkjdakfnda

Anonymous said...

so now it's a required skill to learn in grade school how to ride a bike?
what's next, how to bake cookies 101?

Spokey said...


the fuck-o with peak fred

just wait till we reach peak scranus

Freddy Murcks said...

By the way, I usually try to avoid the road freds, but I occasionally ride the local fred routes and I have never seen a pair of sunglasses left by the side of the road. Because I am slow, I would have plenty of time to spot them if they were there.

GreySpoke said...

If they would just use Opti-Grabs they wouldn't have any problems.

George Patton said...

I think like me they get confused by the word "casualty."

&Updated news report has (correctly) changed "casualty" to "fatalities."

In military terms a "casualty" is a solider killed, captured or wounded bad enough so they can not longer fight. God damn yellow belly malingers always getting killed or severely wounded...

Roille Figners said...

"...basically child abuse."

Oh we're gonna talk basically now eh? Just the basics? Just basically get right down to what the basics basically are?

Seems like a great way to reduce anything to anything else. To test this thesis I choose: that tweet, and murder.

I shall now attempt to prove: "That tweet is basically murder."

The tweet required a computer or smartphone.

Smartphones are basically computers so we'll just say computers.

Computers are basically products of global capitalism.

Global capitalism is basically a wealth concentrator.

Wealth is basically health.

Lack of health is basically death.

Ergo that tweet is basically murder.

P. Bateman said...

@coppi - i know mondonico is an italian bike. but mexican just sounds funnier. too me anyway.

in 6 months i've found:
-1 pair raybays
-1 pair persols
-1 pair maui jims

its like the gods are worried about my eyes. or maybe the gods were angry at the other people's eyes. not sure, but beware the eyes of march for they will cause you to leave your stuff behind.

Spencer said...

Great to see the kids being encouraged to learn to ride!

My human child is now 24 and still enjoys bicycle cycle riding. We started riding together just as soon as she could be safely portaged in a rack type seat, I can remember riding home, one hand on the bars and one hand holding her styro-encased head from flopping as she slept. I can remember the first time she took off on 2 wheels with me running behind offering encouragement and then, the realization that she was on her own and the overwhelming sense of fear on my part. I remember the last time we rode the “tag-a-long rig, that last time, I was on the tag-a-long and she was on the bike, both of us laughing so hard. All I can say is…don’t blink man… the kids grow up at whoohooo speed.

leroy said...

I don't mean to brag, but I was doored last year while riding a Citibike in the Second Avenue bike lane while wearing nothing but a protective Bike Snob NYC cap by Walz, purveyors of fine cycling headwear since I'm not sure when, but it's probably been a while.

Spoiler alert: I survived. I wasn't even thrown head over heels. In fact, I was basically unscathed.

Now I'm not saying that the BSNYC Walz cap has magical properties and I'm not saying that it doesn't.

But if those Walz folks ever get around to making shirts and pants, I'll have a whole wardrobe in which to ride.

Roille Figners said...

Leroy what'd you substitute for your stolen bike? Sounds like maybe a crabon racer from your quiver? (Like your Toyota got ripped off so you're on the Ferrari?)

Anonymous said...

Nice Ride has had 3 injuries in 6 years, none considered serious, but it is Minnesota so as Garrison Keillor wrote "After a car crash, the person is too injured to speak, but reaches their arm out of the wreckage and scrawls a bloody, "OK" in the dirt by side of the road."

Bryan said...

I haven't found any good sunglasses on the side of the road. If I did...better believe I would be sporting a new pair of sunglasses! I use Cablez and let 'em hang if I want to take them off during a ride

Roille Figners said...

Every single one of these scaremonger editorials (and that's what they are) is a journalist saying "I'm too scared to ride a bike, no I don't think it wise, no sir I don't." They see the whole world through that lens and that's all the ideas they've got. Nothing to see here, move along.

Dooth said...

Ralph Gardner Jr, whose Police Blotter column in the old New York Observer was a favorite of mine, is bike phobic!? Oh, he works for Rupert now...I see.

TJ said...

I don't comment on anything. I think I'm one of the silent majority. But I just want to say you put a smile on my face everyday I read your blog. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

On the "accelerator defective" epidemic - about a year ago on 9/29/2014 there was a series of improbable events which somehow led to an "accident" where *THREE* vehicles with defective accelerators somehow arrived at the same place at the same time. What are the odds?

JB said...

If I found 6 pairs of sunglasses on a ride to research something that keeps you from losing your sunglasses, I'd say "F it, I guess I don't need that anymore."

motoed said...

I hate seeing all the accident reporting you do... Your writing is great, it's the reason you have to write this $#@$! that sucks! Thanks for continuing to hammer the logical points home though.

Part of me wonders... is there a data point somewhere on the legal counsel representing all these drivers with stuck accelerators? The crackpot in me has me wondering if a foul plot is afoot.

janinedm said...

I'm sure the BuzzFeed guy thinks that raising children above 96th street is also basically child abuse. I'm glad kids are learning to ride bikes in gym class. My adult life hasn't included any playing with parachutes or tag, freeze or otherwise.

leroy said...

Roille --

I'm considering a Milwaukee bike, possibly similar to BSNYC's. I am, of course, mired in indecision.

In the meantime, I commuted by crabon bike on Monday, but I've been using Citibikes the past two days because the weather has been damp.

The irony is the new Citibike was designed by Ben Serotta and has some plastic components.

It's a bit like riding the living room sofa, except my dog doesn't tell me to get off the couch when I'm wet.

Unknown said...

Sunglasses Guy was not riding in Santa Barbara as far as I can tell. And no, Old San Marcos is not littered with lost shades.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I found a pair of Oakleys on the mountainbike cycling trail once. They were scratched up pretty bad must have gotten run over a time or two.

Do you ever take your cat for a ride and let it sit on the front seat?

Nice to see the Lone Wolf. Recumbabe has been a stranger though.

Unknown said...

vsk said ...

Sr Spencer, that is one of the coolest little anecdotes I've read in a long time. It should be copieded and pasteded to a few places.

I found $20 once in the median at the Brooklyn approach to the Brooklyn Bridge. That was before I knew better and started taking the Manhattan Bridge which is scoured by everybody and anything found there is bound to be suspicious.

Dee Jurocaine WA-KEEN!! may hit land south of us possibly North Carolina according to "the models" (Brittany, Alexandra, and Lara).
We'll see . . .


vsk

Anonymous said...

The Lone Wolf makes a guest appearance!

Nice to see him resurface after an extended visit to the Betty Ford Center.

Grump said...

On the positive side, the eyewear guy rides a steel frame, with "real" wheels with aluminum rims. On the negative side, I'm not sure if I can trust someone who wears their eyewear on top of their helmet straps, and who wears a "club fit" jersey.
.
Having a kid in front of you, who can steer, is a great idea if you are drunk.
.

Knüt Fredriksson said...

Wildcat says: "But I suppose I shouldn't be too picky"...
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
It's a sure sign of the lob-pocalypse!
Run, or bike, for your lives!!!!

Anonymous said...

got rained on this morning, arrived at work soaked. still better than the subway. I've notice a huge increase in bike commuters here in NYC over the 2-3 years and not just citibikes. Someone needs to tell them that this isn't a "bike city".

fongfong said...

I live in DC and while they want to teach kids how to ride, the infrastructure is just sorta OK. A lit like NYC, methinks. We may be getting over the hump as DDOT for the first time, gasp, is proposing to eliminate a parking lane in favor of a bike lane.

The 15 Street bike lane goes right past the Washington Post building. I suspend my rule for no spitting for my 6 year old as we pass by each day.

Anonymous said...

Grump, the sunglass helmet strap thing reminds of a story. A few months back I was riding my vintage Italian racer and this duder started a conversation with me. at first he was complementary about my bike but then he stared quizzing me on the components. Finally he kindly informed me that I had my quick release levers in the wrong position. It was then I realized that he was just a dick who was looking for an opportunity to be smug about esoteric and completely meaningless bike etiquette. I thanked him and then dropped him. Luckily my wheels didn't fall off.

Anonymous said...

The most common thing I find on my rides is porn magazines. Maybe that guy should design a special porn mag holder. Awfully difficult to steer, hold onto your porn and shake hands with the unemployed all at the same time!

Spokey said...

anon at 3:22

ahh just for research purposes

where exactly do you ride?

Roille Figners said...

hahaha "shake hands with the unemployed"

The other night I put my chainrings on the crank and DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION TO WHICH WAY THE TOOTH-COUNT STAMPS WERE ORIENTED. #bikeetiquetteconfessions

P. Bateman said...

where should quick release levers be?

P. Bateman said...

i'm thinking i may put a gold chain on this chrome bike. or is that too "full hipster"

just figure since i'm in florida i may as well own at least one gold chain.

guess i'll switch to cut of jean shorts too.

samh said...

There's always room for some Lone Wolf.

Roille Figners said...

Schwalbe tires have an arrow on the side saying ->ROTATION-> (which I do sort of believe in, for certain tread patterns) but I put the front one on backward, so I just flipped the wheel, but now the QR lever is on the wrong side... WHAT DO I DO??? HELP! SHOULD I REBUILD THE BIKE? AM I GOING TO DIIIEEE??!!?

Anonymous said...

Undo the spoke nipples so the hub can be flipped relative to the rim and relace. You could just flip the skewer but your bearings will be going the wrong way.

crosspalms said...

I've never lost or found a pair of sunglasses, but I've knocked mine off my face a couple of times. And yesterday I found a dime in the street. That's about it.

If I ever see the guy who can ride backwards again, I'll warn him about that bearing problem. Sounds serious.

K-Bo said...

Proper angle for quick-release levers:

Back tire points to scranus

Front tire straight up like a middle finger to God

Anonymous said...

K-Bo,

Why?

Dave said...

I've been told to align the levers to the back so that they won't be hooked by some weed or stick and flipped open (and it's more aerodynamic!); and then much later I was told by an old pal that when he used to race with his hard-core buddies back in the 80s, a standard tactic was to hook your rival's lever with a pump and open it on a long downhill, and therefore the proper lever position is as close to a frame member as possible to preclude this. As with a lot of things he said, I paid no attention whatsoever.

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
babble on said...

Um, I'm sorry, but who the fuck says ostensibly felicitous? And this from a journalist?! That is the most ostentatious use of the English language I have seen this year. Can you say "Pretentious Twat" boys and girls?

Spokey said...

babs

i get the twat part but most of your words are > than 5 lettr so i'm lost.

Spokey said...

I've been told to align the levers to the back so that they won't be hooked by some weed or stick and flipped open

that is what i always heard

clyde said...

Hello from Portland's scranus - lotsa fun here in the "vall"

P. Bateman said...

do the bike fashion police care whether the release part of quick release is on the drive side or "ON MY LEFT"?

i already got a ticket this month. i don't want to get carried away in cuffs. unless babs has the cuffs.

Roille Figners said...

I reneg on the superfluous incidence of both ostentation and pretentiousness; however I allow for the possibility that such a connotation could in the appropriate circumstances be at least ostensibly felicitous.

NAILED IT

babble on said...

Heh. Well don't worry. Twat is the best of the lot anyway. It might be a four letter word, but it's a five star noun.

Master Bateman. We went to an 'event' at a local establishment once. Dunno if you've ever been to an event like this. See, you had to be either in yer knickers, or else wearing leather or fetish wear of some sort. I had NO IDEA there were so many interesting ways to dress a pair of cuffs.

The stage show made me want to reach out and touch someone...

Mr Figners? You did so not reneg.

Vaginal Irrigator said...

Sunglasses Holder Guy is riding lugged steel.
THAT'S BULLSHIT OLD TECHNOLOGY!

I would never buy something he designed.

Now I'm off to go buy me a nice carbon-fiber coffee mug.

Philip said...

I enjoyed "ostensibly felicitous," but felt "investigate journalistically" to be clunky and pretentious. Do you mean... "report on?"

Ostensibly felicitously yours,
Bike Tinker

Philip said...

And by "you," I meant "him."

P. Bateman said...

havent been to an event like that, but they did open up this shady (but surprisingly nice inside) bar near me that apparently attracts the "lifestyle" crowd.

i strictly go for the colorful people watching and the hot bartendress. i am NOT going home with anyone's wife. i dont care how much they offer to pay

DB said...

Dirndls please.

Finders Keepers said...

I happened upon a ss coffee mug on the road the yesterday.

North of Forty said...

I find lots of stuff on my morning commute, but gloves and toques seem to be the number one acquisition for some reason.

North of Forty said...

Not in summertime though.

Anonymous said...

Cycling for 44 years and his saddle position fucking sucks.

Himmler said...

Herr Finders Keepers,
Achtung! Give me back my coffee mug.

Anonymous said...

Snob's midlife crisis bike, the WorkCycles FR8, advert link says it has an "enormously stiff" frame. We all know what that means.

Anonymous said...

BABBLE "I had NO IDEA there were so many interesting ways to dress a pair of cuffs."

Had a short relationship with a GF who was into such things. Ended badly when SHE induced a "deposit" to occur where she said she didn't want it to be and then went berserk. Interesting experiences until the freak-out, great looking woman too.

Anonymous said...

QUICK RELEASE DICK BREAK RECALL: 1.3 million bicycle wheels with dick breaks and quick release recalled because of 3 injuries.http://www.mprnews.org/story/2015/09/30/bike-recall

Spokey said...

sorry roille

but you put that wheel on with the QR lever on the drive side and i'll report you meself

Roille Figners said...

Is it...

Roille Figners said...

Could it beeee...

Roille Figners said...

A totally underhanded

Roille Figners said...

late-ass

Roille Figners said...

West Coast

Roille Figners said...

century attempt?

Roille Figners said...

Woo hoo hoo hoo! <-- looser

Pablo Fleece said...

James Petit is correct, Sunglasses Guy is in Park City, UT or thereabouts - his video sure doesn't look like SB. Didn't know they had an "old" San Marcos Pass there too. Here in Santa Barbara, it's officially "Old" San Marcos Pass, or OSM in localingo. Now that they've outlawed the downhill skateboarders, there's only Road Freds™ and weed smokers "just up to admire the view" - it's an interesting combination.

It's a sad day when your glasses won't fit on your helmet or in your jersey pocket or, I don't know, on your face.

Also, all I ever see on OSM are used condoms - making those really kills your Strava times, or so I hear.

Anonymous said...

Funny to see Harrison Ford trying to sell his glass holder invention....

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

QR recall is the cycling equivalent of the stuck accelerator pedal. Guaranteed
Those injured didn't tighten it right, but said the QR failed.

El Que Lo Sabe said...

"Schwalbe tires have an arrow on the side saying ->ROTATION-> (which I do sort of believe in, for certain tread patterns) but I put the front one on backward,..."

To quote St. Sheldon"

"Ideally, you would like the front tire to offer maximum traction in the braking direction, while the rear tire would normally be oriented to produce maximum traction for drive forces. Thus, if a particular tread pattern is perceived to have better traction in one direction than the other, it should be facing one way if used on the front wheel, and the opposite way if used on the rear wheel."

Anonymous said...

Posting anonymously so my neighbors don't burn down my place, but it's hilarious when I get the Community Board minutes (UES, don't know the number) e-mailed to me by my co-op. All the old-biddy NIMBY types hem and haw about how awful bikes are, and how the 1st Ave Bike Lane needs to be ripped out, because they're afraid of being injured when they step into it. I want to ask them if their mother ever taught them to look both ways before stepping off the sidewalk, but I'm sure I'd get slapped in the face for daring to suggest their they are not infinitely wiser than I. I'm actually thinking about going to the next meeting, just to see how much younger I (34) am than the rest of them.

JB said...

El Que Lo Sabe: The rotation direction may not be for traction. It could be for "squishing" out water or some such.

Roille, I'm afraid you voided the tire, tube, QR, fork, hub, rim, and spokes warranties.

JB said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
El Que Lo Sabe said...

"The rotation direction may not be for traction. It could be for "squishing" out water or some such. "

Both Sheldon Brown and Jobst Brandt have written compelling arguments that tread is not needed to "squish" water out from under a bicycle tire, and a slick (no tread) tire is better on wet pavement that any treaded tire.

From Herr Brandt:

“The contact patch of a bicycle tire is a sharply pointed conoe-shape that first makes contact in the center and spreads as the contact area increases toward the center of pressure….the round cross section prevents water entrapment as that makes hydroplaning possible with automobile tires with their rectangular contact patch having a broad front. “

See also this, , and this.

babble on said...

Oooooh, we're talking canoes are we? Oh goodie. That little pink canoe is one of my very favourite things, definitely a happy place. But it isn't sharply pointed. Nope. Not a sharp bit in it anywhere, no how no way, no matter how much it might enjoy a hard thing.

JB said...

Good point, EQLS. Teaches me to contradict Master Brown.

N/A said...

I love a broad's front. Rear, too.

Unknown said...

Oh Ms. Babble !!
Such happy thoughts on a gloomy (over here) Thursday !!!

vsk

David Pearce said...

"Firstly, it seems to me if you're not taking risks as a journalist you're doing it wrong."

Great point, Snob.

Notice, by the way, The Wall Street Journal. Again!

Journalist Gardner wishes to set himself apart from the cute-as-a-button adorable Dorothy Rabinowitz, but in the end still must tell his bike story of woe, and his obvious disappointment of not being run down by the latest out of control livery cab to abruptly end his 20 minutes of high adventure and derring-do.

David Pearce said...

I don't get it.

Gardner seems completely comfortable with his pond, turtles, grass, carp and all, and wears sportive clothes and backpacks, i.e., seems like a normal person, but gets all squeamish and squishy about riding a bike on road surfaces & city streets?

But it goes back to this: Some people, are just unrealistically scared of riding with automobile traffic. Not me. A good mirror on the glasses (I love my Take-A-Look mirror) or the handlebars makes all the difference. I sail right into a traffic circle just like I'm a crab being carried on the tide, with no fear, just "driving" my five vehicles: the four cars around me, and my bike.

And yet, my Sister, for example, has this unwarranted fear of traffic: She'll beat-the-PANTS-off-of-me mountain biking every single time we're alone on a trail. But get her into city traffic or a country road with cars and she's as skittish and unexperienced as a colt.

babble on said...

You are so kind. Thank you. Only it was utter nonsense because of course a canoe is pointy. A point is one of its defining features. :-l
I need a good hard ride.

Unknown said...

Ms. Babble, I am chartering a Gulfstream as we speak, full on fat cat banker style !!

[in my evil dreams! hahahaha]

David P:

I always use a Third Eye rear view mirror (mirra as they are called in Brookaleeen).
I won't really ride without one. Total situational awareness. ... except for the door prize!
those hybrid cars and 'lectric ones are deadly silent too.

vsk

brood_of_freds said...

In a rage of Freddom attack on San Marcos throwing their glasses aside for maximum freddom effect while failing at a new power-meter personal best. Post ride, they hit the anti-aging clinic for a little botox and Testosterone before their weekly massage and facial since none of them have real jobs.

Can we call a group of Freds a murder of Freds? Sedge of Freds? Chattering of Freds?

Rook said...

@brood_of_freds
I believe the collective noun for Freds is a "spandex": A spandex of Freds.

JLRB said...

Catching up on missed episodes while
Waiting to fly back to the wet coast

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