Friday, September 25, 2015

BSNYC Friady Fun Qiuz!

Firstly, if you own a human child this balance bike recall may pertain to you:


Wishbone Design Studio is recalling about 400 balance bikes in the U.S. because the handlebar can pinch fingers at the frame. The firm company reports of four incidents, including two injuries. One required stitches and one required restorative surgery

Yikes!  They should have called it the Snapping Turtle.

Poor kids.

No mention whether or not they were waering healme(n)ts, though.

Speaking of parenting, further to yesterday's post, I'm afraid I owe impassioned anti-bike lane ranter Darby Monger an apology:


And Darby Monger crafted an analogy to describe the addition of bike lanes to her beloved city.

“It’s very similar to personally taking all three of my daughters to a tattoo parlor and having them completely body tattooed,” she said.

See, it turns out poor Darby Monger is delusional.  The truth is that she doesn't have any children, and for the past 20 years she's been pretending three school crossing signs are her daughters:


It's all very sad.  She dresses them in pretty bows and stuff:

And she's hoping to marry the oldest one off to a nice doctor:



So now you know why she takes painting lines on the local infrastructure so seriously.

In her mind, it is tattooing.

Finally, here's an eminently sensible analysis of elite women's time trial World Champion Linda Villumsen's decision not to ride her sponsor's bicycle:


Sadly, it took an audacious act of courage on her part to face her team, put her foot down, and decide, team be damned, she would ride her Trek and win the World Championship. No woman makes enough money to sacrifice a chance at rainbow bands in favour of her sponsor. And while Tom Boonen might be able to command Specialized to make a bike to fit his specifications, Linda Villumsen before the rainbow bands was no Tom Boonen.

Now, rather than asking who was right and who was wrong, maybe what we should be asking is will Wilier invest in women cyclists now that they are sponsoring the World Champion, and perhaps create a bike for her to win the Olympic Games on? 

Well said.

Ironically, I'm sure the sponsors would rather the athletes just dope.  That way at least they get to use the victory photos for a few weeks before the test results come back.

And at least she didn't ride this:
It's both aerodynamic and watertight.

And now I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right then whoop-dee-doo, and if you're wrong you'll see a tall bike on the highway.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and don't look down at the bike lane lest you fall victim to a dizzying type of vertigo.


--Wildcat Rock Machine





(Tank Man ain't got nothin' on the brave homeowners of Coronado, CA.)

1) Which is not an actual reason residents of Coronado, CA objected to new bike lanes?

--“You are covering Coronado with paint stripe pollution,” said resident Gerry Lounsbury
--The lanes “bring to mind a visual cacophony that if you look there long enough it will induce a dizzying type of vertigo,” said Carolyn Rogerson.
--Gerry MacCartee asked if the community couldn't think of a better option than “these black streets with these brilliant white lines everywhere because believe me, it takes away from your home, from your outlook on life.”






2) When Pope Francis visits Philadelphia this weekend, he will be given:







(The suspect.)

3) A bike thief in Manhattan successfully gnawed his way through a bike lock.

--True





4) New York City now has 1,000 miles of bike lanes.

--True





5) What is this rider doing?






6) Which group has the biggest problem with drinking?





7) This guy's going to revolutionize:



***Special Canadian Speed Sperm-Themed Bonus Video!***



They deserve a standing ovulation.


99 comments:

Victor Kaminski said...

Podiating !!!


vsk

Victor Kaminski said...

I'll copy some info from yesterday's.

vsk

Victor Kaminski said...

For the extra EPO !!

A bunch of guys are getting together at the Kissena Park Velodrome Sunday morning at 10 to pay tribute to a fellow who passed away recently.
There will also be a vintage track iron day with folks from the Brooklyn Velodrome Vintage Wheelmen and others. Should be a nice day. It's usually in October / November so it will be a little warmer.

vsk

Victor Kaminski said...

I can even do a Ted K. post:

Society sucks. You're all gonna die (eventually). Bla Bla Bla.

Is everybody at the Pope's Nuncio ?

Hey Nuncio!! Is that you on the Galmozzi ??

vsk

Ted K. said...

62. Social needs, such as sex, love and status, often remain in group 2 in modern society, depending on the situation of the individual. [10] But, except for people who have a particularly strong drive for status, the effort required to fulfill the social drives is insufficient to satisfy adequately the need for the power process.

N/A said...

Morning peeps.

babble on said...

Wooot!! Friiiiiiiiiday! Thanks for another great week, Snobi Wan.

bad boy of the north said...

top ten........have a safe riding weekend,all.

Freddy Murcks said...

Some of today's quiz answers were too surprising to be believed. My score was in the shits as a result.

JB said...

I watched an episode of Family Ties last evening. It's been a while. Mallory has still got it. #puberty

JLRB said...

sacrifice a chance at rainbow bands

So fuckoing ridiculous

No pot 'o gold at the end of that rainbow

N/A said...

Darby O'Mongor and the little people of Coronado would totally sacrifice a chance at rainbow bands, because it would be a wicked visual cacaphony.

P. Bateman said...

top lucky 13!! GET SOME! slow pokes

Anonymous said...

Wonder if all of Darby's public relations work on the several "large public outreach campaigns" she lead before she went into real estate were as successful? Did they involve the tattooing of her daughters too?

P. Bateman said...

by the way, i nominate todays post for some sort of award. bringing all the funny today snoober

BamaPhred said...

Judging by my quiz results, I guess I'll have to repeat this week.

Anonymous said...

Rapha...!

David Pearce said...

Snob,

Are you just using hyperbole, or what is the source of your info the Darby Monger does not have children? I've seen profile pages of two of her daughters on different school sports pages, in which her parents are mentioned.

Although Darby Monger does appear pretty creepy, as in this quote, from her, in Coronado Lifestyle Magazine.

“Optimism is essential but often elusive, even when we need it most. Nearly a decade ago, having a PMA (Positive Mental Attitude), became vital to our family of five. Our world was rocked when our leader, the man with abundant PMA, was diagnosed with the big C. His six treatments, scheduled every three weeks, would be rough. With our three daughters living all over the country, how would we bolster his PMA as well as our own? Our girls conferred, determining each would be responsible for nurturing our family’s PMA one week of every treatment cycle. Week after week, the creativity flowed. One daughter mailed a box filled with a paper airplane folding kit, seven handwritten letters to her dad, and scores of pages of well-known inspirational statements. Another brought over flats of life-renewing perennials accompanied by a set of knee pads for her dad to use while helping her replant his front flowerbeds. And another invited her dad to the backyard where she had attached paint-filled balloons to a huge canvas. Together they threw darts popping the balloons and creating artwork that she cut into four pieces which were framed and hung in each of our homes. And happily, the PMA made a world of difference! Optimism comes naturally to some while others have to work at it, but it’s life-saving and worth having regardless.”

****************

What wife writes about her husband as "our leader"? She's pretty out there, and getting herself out & about in Coronado, I'll give her that.

P. Bateman said...

so Ted K. - "insufficient to satisfy adequately.."

so are you saying there is something wrong with my gear? let me tell you something buddy...

P. Bateman said...

interesting to see that if you get PMA like Darby Monger you'll still have a heavy flow...of creativity.

guess you'll need to stuff some cotton in your thinking cap.


Roille Figners said...

I thought going through a crisis was supposed to make you not sweat the small stuff.

ken e. said...

"pma" -probably marijuana adjusted.

leroy said...

Bolt cutters apparently cut my lock while I rain an errand this AM.

Goodbye to the bike I've been commuting on for the past 10 years.

Oh well, ride safe all.

Ride tight and don't let the bike thieves bite. (And I thought they just sucked.)

@breaklessballsdeep said...

Mr Wildcatter: reeding ur poly-seminal interweb diary gives me a happy time all days.

Always firm believer in reciprocal happy-endings; Behold, my heavily-flowing pussy makes it rain

https://youtu.be/W1yQdOnAGds

Vaya con dios...

N/A said...

Condolences on the loss, Leroy. I hope the dirtbag that stole your ride gets right-hooked.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Jeepers! The balance bike weighs 10 lbs! Absolutely Fredly weight weenie wonder!

Alex P. Keaton said...

JB - I love me some Mallory too

Anonymous said...

Bolt cutters apparently cut my lock while I rain an errand this AM.

Ouch! Assuming you didn't park it anywhere near the Pope's route or the UN, but if you did have you checked to see if it might have been removed by the police?

@PeanutGallery said...

Who the fck is MALLORY?
Anyone w/ eyes knows that Tina Yothers was only looker on FT

Anonymous said...

"a standing ovulation" That one should have gotten a big smile in Vancouver.

Bwana Dik said...

My dick is a Harley, you kick it to start.

crosspalms said...

Leroy, sorry to hear about the bike. That sucks.

Anonymous said...

If you could find a shack for sale in Coronado it would be listed for seven figures.

dcee604 said...

That 'cockpit' is a bong, considering that photo was taken in British Columbia. (That's Canada if you don't know).

babble on said...

Heh heh. Yes, of course it tickled me pink, the standing ovulation for the Canadian spermatozoan speed machine. Floated my boat, that line. But then the wildcatman had a brilliant week start to stop.

Um, but Holy Uckfay, McBatman. There are a lot of visual and othewise references to these here parts roundabout. Yes, I am looking at you, Mr Ballzdeep. Got a bit of time on yer hands, have ya?

JLRB said...

Leroy - That sucks, bites and blows. I hope the thief gets bitten by a dog.

PotbellyJoe said...

Based on Darby's sole tweet, she doesn't understand the purpose behind traffic enforcement:

"Re eCoronado today: AS A "PHYSICAL MEASURE" THE CITY SHOULD SPEND SURPLUS $$ TO HIRE A TRAFFIC CONTROL OFFICER TO TICKET SPEEDERS ON 3rd&4th"

If the speeding is that bad, the city wouldn't need to touch their surplus $$ to enforce it, the sin tax of speeding will pay for the officer.

I like that the team considered firing her for ride off-brand. I feel like that would have been the best thing for Linda. She has the rainbows, so she'd be worth hiring for another team and she may even make a bit more in the deal.

My shed has 9 bikes in it, from 8 brands. This is the reality in cycling, I may carry a prejudice towards a brand, but if it does't fit my wants (let's face it after 2 bikes it's no longer 'needs') then I shop something else. And I'm brand loyal to the max when it comes to laundry detergent and ketchup.

Leroy, that sucks. I hope your bike was i need of a new chain and it will let go on the guy as he gets out of the saddle to climb a hill. Just curious, did you run clipless on your commuter? I have long believed that tiny clipless pedals on bikes and manual transmissions on cars were healthy theft deterrents, but I do't know what the casual SPD wearers population is in NYC...

babble on said...

Oh no! That's terrible news, Leroy. I can think of few things worse. My bikes are quite literally my happy place, and so the loss of a good bike is indeed the loss of an old friend. My deepest condolences. Who knows? Here's hoping a miracle happens and your bike comes back home again.

McFly said...

Striker Striker STRIKE HER!

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Holy Crap Sr. Leroy !
Hopefully your chain and cogs were unfindable under grit and grime and the wheels were outta true and etc.

Mallory was awesome yes!

That's some nice weather out there today. It's absolutely Papal outside.

vsk

CommieCanuck said...

The CDN Butt Plug-cycle is a rapid response to the poll that shows 40% of Americans in favor of a US/Canada wall (and like 99% of CDNs). Easier than a barrel over Niagara Falls to sneak across for boxed milk.

Hamster maze OR bong, why not both? Vancouver hamsters are notoriously laid back ...when Richard Gere isn't in town for the VIFF.

1904 Cadardi said...

My dentist has told me on numerous occasions "Treat your teeth like jewels, not tools." I don't think she would approve of chewing on a lock.

She rides an aluminum Trek so I think that means she must have above average dental skills.

Richard Gere said...

Technically it looks more like a gerbil maze judging by the diameter of the tubes.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

That sucks Leroy. Hopefully the thief has gets ball cancer.

Anonymous said...

BIKE THEIVES ARE A LOOSER. BIKE THEIVERY LOWERS YOUR SPERM COUNT AND HAS GIVE BALL CANCER.

THANKS FOR REMINDING ME RCT

P. Bateman said...

@anon - bike thieves are looser 'cause d'ey ho's?

Freddy Murcks said...

I figured out why I did so badly on today's test. It was a "qiuz." I had foolishly studied for the Friday Quiz. I was told by an expert in the field of pedagogical test application of testing that qiuzzes are much harder and more nonsensical as compared to quizzes. Fuck the fucking fuck-o.

grog said...

Recumspeeddude should meet Recumbabe
MISS BABE
RIDE NICE

Anonymous said...

Anyone notice that the 'jaws' thief was charged with "Petit Larceny"? Since when have the French taken over?

Did they sneak in when our "Dept of Offense" was looking towards Asia, the Middle East, Africa, etc??

PJT said...

Leroy - that reeks. But it gives me a Kickstarter idea. A flamethrower installed in the head tube that you can activate via an app.

DB said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Leroy.
Snob: Please give Leroy one from your stable.
(Bike. Not child)

leroy said...

Thanks for the condolences all.

I had a crappy rubber coated cable lock, easily cut while I ran an errand in Williamsburg on way to work. My normal spot was taken, so I locked on the corner next to a beater bike with a better lock. This was four blocks from 94th precinct where I filed a report - sort of, they say they'll get back to me; my receipt doesn't have a report number on it. (Breath not being held.) Two guys working down the block didn't see a thing.

PJ - yes, I use clipless pedals on my commuter. In fact, I had finally gotten new shoes and after much trial and error gotten the cleats to where my knees and legs were as okay as they will ever be.

For some reason, I decided I'd take my saddle bag with me. So I've got that. Even though it has a hole in it.

Oh well.

Anonymous said...

One of my wife's colleagues at the UC Berkeley Law School, Molly Shaffer Van Houweling, set the women's world hour record a couple weeks ago:

http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/van-houweling-sets-new-womens-uci-hour-record/

Took me awhile to find this link... I heard about from a departmental email then had to use a search engine to find this story, which never seemed to make it to any front page. Chronic overachieving aside, hard to see any of the men who have recently taken on this challenge supporting themselves through a tenured faculty position any time soon.

Spokey said...


leroy

mucho condolences on that

but as with everything in life you gots to look to the brighty side. now you can ride your dog to work. i'd ask first if you need to switch shoes.

Dooth said...

A Pope Francis bobble head doll wearing boxing gloves and holding a Philly cheesesteak? I call Papal Bull on that.

P. Bateman said...

hope it wasn't an inside job Leroy. word on the street is that your dog runs with some real mutts - hope it wasn't someone you knew.

that does suck a really fat tire. sorry for the loss.

babble on said...

Yeah, but just wait for the pope babble bobble head.

So wait. That guy had bolt cutters in the bag, but the pleeeeeez man is asking me to believe he chewed through the lock. Sure, why not?! Happens all. The. Time.

P. Bateman said...

i've met some gals with strong jaws before...seems plausible.

Anonymous said...

Never thought of ex GF's in terms of the movie Jaws, but I suppose theirs a gulp of truth in it.

I wonder if Leroy knows where his dog was at the time of the disappearance. If he starts getting text messages "If you ever want to see your..." it would be worth his while to go on-line and do a reverse address lookup.

Anonymous said...

"pope babble bobble head". A Booblehead Pope in a kneeling position with a head that only goes up and down, not side to side. I shudder to think what it would depict her doing.

@breaklessballsdeep said...

Has anyone considered that the amazing Chopper may have been fitted with some kinda dental prophylactics, perhaps fabricated from "semi-precious" (at best) highly-polish (not greenpoint Brooklyn-like but bedazzle-like) alloy?
Ti?
I hear the youths refer to em as "grillz" [sic], which I believe is a subcategory of Bling-bling but hell if I knowz or carez (terminal-Z plural corruptions are totes' awesomeness)

Nevertheless dumbstruck and dumbfounded and dum I may b just don't say that teh Chopper & mastication ain't like pee& karatzzz https://youtu.be/OuEOusBTYkE

Don't.
Say.

It Was Only In Jestation said...

So I read,'They deserve a standing ovulation'. Then, a pregnant pause... Harh!! I laughed until I stopped.

bad boy of the north said...

sorry to hear about you loss,leroy.hey,you might spot it again when you run errands in the area.if you have a photo of it,maybe locals that are here might spot it.good luck.

PotbellyJoe said...

@Leroy,

In the meantime, if you are bike shopping the list of craig's, let me know if there is a bike in NJ that you would need picked up. I can help pick-up/deliver as i have a rack on my car pretty much 100% of the time.

Anonymous said...

a rack on your car?

or one in your car?

Frickus Rungus said...

Leroy,
Here's to hoping that your bike thief suffers from some exotic form of chamois bacterial infection and gets a good case of crotch-rot-drop.

Anonymous said...

Lantern rouge...

Anonymous said...

I can confirm that Darby Monger does indeed have a daughter. I met her at the tattoo parlour the other day. She said she was just on her from the bike shop. Btw, she's looking decidedly more buff than 'ol Darby. Must be all that bike riding.

GhostOfTyrone said...

I have found my suitcase of courage.
I have found my suitcase of courage.
I have found my suitcase of courage.

If it is not empty, I will dig from it once more.

- Mark Twain

@brakelessballsdeep said...

LEROY tardy ever so slightly to straddle teh bandwagon but cheesedick bikey bad-touchers deserve hep C, + no soup only tuna. Too much tuna, excessive amounts of tuna foreva & eva. Die bkee thief die all yur dayz

Anonymous said...

AND HAS GIVES BALL CANCER!


greatest line ever, I just like saying it

Cheapo Marks said...

Leroy,

Always look on the bright side of life (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=L2Wx230gYJw). Bike thievery is chickenshit anyway. Maybe that's why all my bikes are cheap rebuilds from spare parts. I only really care about my Bridgestone. Ride cheap my friends.

Anonymous said...

A rack on your car
Or a rack in your car
Or a rack on your face?

Anonymous said...

Craig's List Kazackastan has a "Williamsburg Edition" bike for sale.

P. Bateman said...

geux syracuse!!! c'mon!

P. Bateman said...

well, so much for that. good try though.

Roille Figners said...

Just filed the lawyer lips off an old touring fork and it felt GRATE.

Leroy, reading this belatedly... that sucks buddy! Mercury retrograde strikes again. But hey it's also a good time to either buy a used bike or finish an old stalled project!

File said...

What's the point

Spokey said...

Roille

seems like a better time to buy a new bike. if others in your household might object, pop for that distressed paint job and claim it's used.

Roille Figners said...

Yes yes Mr. File, "We're all just dust specks blowing aimlessly through an indifferent cosmos," as our host once said. But to answer your question the reason I do anything is to reduce pains-in-the-ass. If that means choosing a smaller pain-in-the-ass, to avoid a larger pain-in-the-ass, that's still a reduction in asspain. It's the Asspain Avoidance & Reduction Principle (AARP)(tm) and do NOT steal that unique fucking trademark that I own or I will sue you. Spokers I'm afraid buying a new bike usually comes under the "bigger pain in the ass" category for me, starting with having money leave my wallet, continuing with participating in the banality of "research" (i.e. reading about lateral stiffness & vertical compliance) and the circus that is the marketplace (i.e. damn-near getting into confrontations with arrogant bike-shop bros) and ending with eventually changing out every part that ended up being a disappointment.

dop said...

I can't figure out this crazy world. Spokey's bike is nicked and the Mets clinch the NL East. Tears of pain & tears of joy. Get a new bike spokey & enjoy it

Anonymous said...

Got back from Richmond, VA with my older son. After dinner with the family and before taking the dog for its last walk I'll just like to say...
SAGAN!!! SAGAN!!! SAGAN!!!!

(And I don't care if it is no longer cool to care about bike racing.)

dop said...

You dog is named Sagan? After the astronomer or the cyclist?

David Pearce said...

The only good thing about today (seeing as it is now 3 minutes into Monday) is that Snob might come out with a new blog post.

Maybe I should do the Friday Gun Quiz now. Or Fun Quiz. Or Gub Quiz. Whatever.

Snob is raising his children now. Just wait until he gets old enough until HIS children have to take care of HIM! For that, they never give you an owner's manual! There is something to be said for the Jimmy's, the Jim's, the Janis's and the Amy's, for deciding to die young and leave a pleasant looking corpse!

Anonymous said...

Little late to the show. Cats in the house, coyotes yipping outside and watched the full moon do its thing and revert back to full by the fire. Time for bed so I can go to work tomorrow, I guess.

Anonymous said...

Why was it Sagan the dig's last walk? Is he dying?

Anonymous said...

Sagan the astronomer's pronounciation would make a cool dog name.

Anonymous said...

Not so much Sagan the cyclist's pronounciation.

Anonymous said...

Life is harsh, unfair and gritty
The days are long, boring and shitty
It asks it's toll and you pay the cost
But do not fear, all is not lost
Just train your wife to flash that titty--Unknown

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

Quadruple podia doesn't even qualify for a lousy T-shirt !


vsk

Anonymous said...

Nice cockpit porn

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Anonymous said...

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