Thursday, September 17, 2015

A Helme(n)t Is No Substitute for a Thinking Cap

Did you know the Federal Reserve is going to raise the interest rates?

Well I don't know what that means either, because I get all my financial information from "The Money Programme:"



It's hard-hitting financial news, but sadly about 40 years out of date.

Nevertheless, according to the illustration accompanying the article, Citi Bikes are the new BMW:


They just had to squeeze a helme(n)t in there, didn't they?

Of course, I would have taken the illustration in a different direction:


Either way, if you are a financial genius and you know of a way that I can make money off any of this please let me know:


Money is very useful because you can use it to purchase goods and services.

Sadly, I doubt there are many financial geniuses among you.  First of all, you're cyclists, and cyclists are terrible with money, which explains the existence of Specialized.  Secondly, anecdotal evidence suggests most of you are academics of some kind, because subsequent to Tuesday's post a sizable number of you were kind enough to email me PDFs of that helme(n)t study I was too frugal and idealistic to pay for.

Please note that I have not taken the time to thank all of you individually, and in fact I may never do so, but rest assured I am profoundly grateful.

Also, I'm assuming you all had free access through your places of study and employment, and that you did not pay the $31.50 on my behalf, because if you did we just gave the publishers a fuckload of money which might have otherwise been used to purchase goods and services:


In any case, the study would appear to support the notion that the way helme(n)ted riders behave is far more of a safety factor than the helme(n)ts themselves:


Note in particular that 20% of the non-heme(n)ted riders were boozing versus only 6% of the helme(n)ted riders.  (Jeez, Freds really are no fun.)  Note also that almost 14% of the bare-headed were using an "electronic" device, versus only about 8% of the foam hat set.  As for running lights, almost twice as many non-helme(n)ted riders did that too: roughly 11% versus roughly 6%.

Perhaps most interestingly, 67.5% of non-helme(n)ted riders were involved in collisions with cars, whereas "only" 59.8% of the helme(n)ted riders were.

I take this to mean that, on balance, non-helme(n)ted riders are drunker and hitting (or being hit by) more cars.  Therefore, the conclusion I choose to draw from all of this is as follows:

DON'T RIDE DRUNK.

Of course the problem with that is riding drunk is already illegal and generally understood to be stupid, so if you're a doctor seeking media attention and more grant money you get a lot more mileage out of saying we need helme(n)t laws.

Or, I suppose the other possibility is that helme(n)ts are so effective that the drunks don't even wind up in the hospital when they crash, and that it's perfectly fine to ride drunk just as long as you're wearing a helme(n)t--just like you should go right ahead and drive drunk just as long as you're wearing a seatbelt.

Most importantly, let's keep in mind that most of these statistics are probably pretty meaningless anyway:

There are also limitations to this study. The primary limitation is that this study only reflects those bicyclists who presented to BHC with an injury and therefore may not be representative of others who were involved in an injury-free collision, refused to present to the hospital, or were declared dead at the scene. Many bicyclists who are injured and hit their helmets may not seek medical care unless injuries to other parts of the body are serious enough to warrant an ED visit [11]. The fact that extremity injuries were more common in the helmeted group in our study may be evidence of this. Future studies using a population-based control group may reduce this limitation [20].

Additional limitations of this study include potential inaccuracy of the data because it relied heavily on patient self-reporting; it is possible that individual patients may have underreported certain behaviours for personal, economic, and/or legal reasons. This study was conducted at a single institution, so its results are representative of the patient population of BHC in NYC and are not generalizable to all bicyclists and regions.

Yes, you can make number say anything you want, and I suspect this study is basically the equivalent of this ad:


So with that, I resolve to stop worrying about it, and instead place all my faith in the Urban Sombrero:


(Is that a serape or a tallis?)

In other news, there will be, or has already been, a "Breaking Away" reunion in Las Vegas:


Most noteworthy is that Dennis Christopher (a.k.a. "Dave Stoller") rides a bike in New York City, and Dennis Quaid is now a giant Fred:

While neither Christopher nor Quaid were big cyclists at the time Breaking Away was in theaters, both came to love riding bikes. Christopher especially likes to ride in New York City, where he spends much of his time these days. And Quaid, who now owns multiple race bikes made by Italy’s storied Pinarello brand, often rides 100 miles a week, mentioning that he has toured in Tuscany and brought a bike to a recent shoot in Canada. “I started riding with my wife because running just got to be too hard on my joints,” says Quaid. “I feel like I’m 12 years old every time I get on my bike.”

Yep, Quaid is not only the genuine article, but he's also a member of the elite 8% of helme(n)ted riders who use electronic devices while riding:


(Oh please, don't act like you don't do it too.)

Speaking of Interbike, the glowing reviews by "stoked" journalists who have ridden bikes for short amounts of time at the Dirt Demo are coming in hot:


When it comes to hype, few companies generate as much internet skepticism as Specialized (however unjustified it often is), and few trends are lambasted as pure marketing BS as much as the new crop of so-called ‘plus’ bikes. Call me a shill, label me a sellout, and cast as much anonymous keyboard ire as you want my way. But after riding the new S-Works Stumpjumper 6Fattie, just call me a believer.

Gee, somebody sure woke up on the defensive side of the hotel bed.

Relax, we believe you.  I'm sure it's a really fun bike to ride--and only $8,600 at that!

I'll take three.

By the way, in addition to being frequently "lambasted as pure marketing BS," Specialized are also frequently counterfeited:


I am SHOCKED that aggressively marketing very expensive bicycles results in a black market.

Yes, it's all to easy to dupe overzealous Freds (redundant I know, "overzealous Fred" is like saying "wet water") in their relentless quest for performance:

Though Tombragel picked up riding relatively late in life, he made up in ability what he lacked in experience. As his fitness and physique transformed, friends suggested he try racing. And as he upgraded (he is now a category 2), so did his bikes. In 2010, he bought a BMC Racemaster SLX01, a light, stiff model made from carbon and aluminum. When the seatpost seized in the frame four years later, and the warranty claim dragged out, he began looking for a replacement bike. He tried to buy a used Specialized Venge on eBay, “but you can’t touch a one- to two-year-old frameset for less than $1,500,” he says. “I put in a few bids and lost.” Although he has a good job at GE, he didn’t want to spend the $5,500 it would have cost to purchase a new, race-ready Venge.

Yes, that is a dilemma.  Certainly a more sensible Fred might pick a cheaper bike from Specialized's vast lineup.  Sadly, there is no such thing as a sensible Fred, so instead he bought a $500 "Venge" on eBay:

Ironically, it was his search for legitimate items that led him to a murky deal. “Because I’d been looking on eBay and Google, I got served up an ad in Gmail from DHgate. Sure enough, you have a frame that looks dead-on like it’s a Venge,” he recalls. “You could tell it was Chinese-direct. But I’d bought things from overseas on eBay, so I was comfortable with it.” The bike was openly advertised as a Specialized. The cost: $500, including shipping.

And soon discovered it was a piece of crap:

When the frame arrived, he took it to a shop to have the parts switched from his old BMC. But from the start, there were issues. Over the next few months, he began to notice that the dropouts weren’t totally aligned. To spin freely, the rear wheel had to be clamped slightly askew. Other oddities: Standard water bottle cage bolts didn’t fit in the frame. And after a few weeks, the screw-in cable-stop adaptor for the internally routed cables began to rust. These weren’t the only signs something was amiss. Not long after getting the bike, he had an unsettling experience on a descent. “In the chainstays and fork, there was a kind of squishy feel,” he recalls. “I just didn’t have any confidence in high-speed turns.” Similar sensations followed on other rides. Additionally, he felt unstable on the bike when sprinting. A return trip to the shop to try to fix some of the issues confirmed what Tombragel had begun to suspect. The shop owner showed a visiting Specialized rep this mysterious Venge with misaligned dropouts. After a few moments, the rep dropped the bad news: “That’s a fake.”

So he went back to his original bike, yet still dreams of one day owning a Specialized:

Regardless, Tombragel’s direct-from-Asia experiment is over. He figures, between the cost of the frame and swapping parts from (and back to) the BMC, he’s probably out what it would have cost to buy a secondhand, legitimate Venge on eBay. He’ll get another bike, and he’d like it to be a Specialized. “I respect the brand,” he says. “The Venge and Tarmac, to me, are the best-reviewed race bikes out there. I mean, that’s what I wanted before going down this crazy path.”

That's just about the saddest story I've ever heard.  Let's all put our hands together and PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS ON HIGH that poor Tombragel one day sees the light, stops chasing "the best-reviewed race bikes out there," and discovers bicycles made out of metal.

Lastly, here's over three minutes of Dutch people using roundabouts:


When I find myself getting overwhelmed I watch videos like this in the corner while sucking my thumb.

126 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ha, ha, still laughing at yesterday's cheesy socks

Anonymous said...

Podium! Ready for Richmond.

Ted K. said...

58. It would be possible to give other examples of societies in which there has been rapid change and/or lack of close community ties without the kind of massive behavioral aberration that is seen in today’s industrial society. We contend that the most important cause of social and psychological problems in modern society is the fact that people have insufficient opportunity to go through the power process in a normal way. We don’t mean to say that modern society is the only one in which the power process has been disrupted. Probably most if not all civilized societies have interfered with the power process to a greater or lesser extent. But in modern industrial society the problem has become particularly acute. Leftism, at least in its recent (mid- to late-20th century) form, is in part a symptom of deprivation with respect to the power process.

David G said...

I am commenting relatively early. I am correspondingly better than those who comment after me.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

My thinking cap has a propeller.

herzogone said...

Woohoohoo! Top ten. Would have been faster, but my chain oiler ran out of lube.

Schisthead said...

You say it like there's something wrong with sucking your thumb.

(or something wrong with roundabouts?)

Anonymous said...

You mean to tell me that there are other bieks out there that aren't made by Specialized? Well, my eyes are opened!

Kraig said...

Holy frozen Fred on a stick did his LBS ever judge this guy right

between the cost of the frame and swapping parts from (and back to) the BMC, he’s probably out what it would have cost to buy a secondhand, legitimate Venge on eBay.

So it cost him 1000$ to swap parts from one bike to the next? 500 bucks a pop?

BRB gotta quit my academic job and get in on this action.

dop said...

That video of Dutch cyclers is a bridge too far.

Bryan said...

I equate riding while drunk about as dangerous as walking while drunk...though my situation is very different down here. Past 7/7:30 pm, there are hardly any cars on the road out into the suburbs. It's a much better alternative to driving while drunk, and at least around these parts I don't think a police officer would bother you on a bike. Obviously, YMMV

Anonymous said...

Top 12 - and basking in my anonymity

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

XIII

Roille Figners said...

HAH! The helmet does look added-in and in fact looks exactly like a BSNYC PhotoShop job. Are you sure you're not on the payroll?

Jon Webb said...

Be careful -- you're starting down the slippery slope of knowledge. You read one bicycle helmet PDF, next thing you know you'll be reading another, and another. There are hundreds of them. Then there's meta-analyses, review articles, and so on. You could end up being an expert. Better to just make up your mind and save time for biking.

NHcycler said...

What is that on the cigarette woman's smiling face?

NHcycler said...

Come to think of it, that Doc looks like he just put it there.

grog said...

had a Dutch roundabout with my morning coffee.

dcee604 said...

Sweet re'venge' for buying a Chinese knock-off.

Roille Figners said...

Did I say helmet? I meant healemenette.

PotbellyJoe said...

Surprise Butt Socks!

"I can't wait for plastic frames to become a commodity and get sold for marginal cost, so instead I will buy at peak-Fred and spend $8k on a Venge frame."

-Someone with no idea about money despite having more of it than they need.

I can hear those Special-Guyz lawyers typing my cease and desist from 3000 miles (6 Quaid-years) away.

Roille Figners said...

Perhaps most interestingly, 67.5% of non-helme(n)ted riders were involved in collisions with cars, whereas "only" 59.8% of the helme(n)ted riders were.

Know what this tells me? Helmet or no helmet, about 60% of your risk of going to the hospital, is due to cars.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Tombragel...I learned a long time ago...you buy cheap, you get cheap. You also buy twice.

Anonymous said...

Is your Camel smoking?


Try a better lube

Nine out of ten doctors who tried Camels preferred women.

I know, it's a little dated, but it was funny back in elementary school

Bryan Bracy said...


What gives, Snob? No picture or mention of the "Venge-Schmenge" ; did THEY get to you?

streepo said...

You are welcome.

BamaPhred said...

Leroy's Dog figured this out a long time ago.

Of course I get my science from the Daily Mail. Doesn't everyone?

BamaPhred said...

I don't mind wearing the healment, I just don't want to be told I have to.

bieks said...

" 67.5% of non-helme(n)ted riders were involved in collisions with cars, whereas "only" 59.8% of the helme(n)ted riders were"

That's because drivers think "Meh, he has a helment, I can throw caution to the wind."

No helment = self induced injury
Helment = assaulted

So, according to the study, be careful & helmentless.

N/A said...

67% of all statistics are made-up.

N/A said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
N/A said...

In a recent survey, 4 out of every 5 people reported that they were more inclined to believe something told to them if it were backed by examples of public approval.

GreySpoke said...

Nike sure has an interesting advert in Bicycling.
More roundabout videos please, I can't get enough!

P. Bateman said...

interesting you'd bring up the topic of money today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZHCVyllnck

if i were elected president which woman would i put on our currency and which denomination?

i'd put those hot chicks from the hot stripper socks on the $1 bill which is the currency most associated with dancing gals.

that is what i'd do as president.

McFly said...

I just shot a guy an offer (on the EBay) on a 29" Kona Hei Hei FS frame made from scandium. I had never even heard of scandium. He is from Texas. So I didn't really want to mess with him.

David Olson said...

Wait, a warranty claim for a seized seat post?

Researchists: data on helmet (non-)use by those declared dead at the scene of a cycling accident are available daily at the NY Post (which is now seized and no longer under warranty!). If helmet wearage is not mentioned, then the victim is certain to be wearing one.

McFly said...

I do like the sound of direct-from-Asia experiment , though.

Canada, Not So Loonie After All said...

Record number of words posted by Ms. Babble yesterday. She was on quite a roll, damn good reading too!

David Olson said...

Speaking of straight from Asia, the easy-money rip-off that is modern academic literature publishing is evident in the weekly e-mails asking for article submissions to yet another new journal start-up. George Carlin's Bicuspid Annual would be an appropriate sample title.

The other alternative, Open Access, where the public doesn't pay, uses the author's willingness to pay up to $5000 per submission to own the publishing rights.

OK, that was boring.

Not Every Experiment Ends Up Sounding The Way You Think It Will said...

"I do like the sound of direct-from-Asia experiment , though.

Remember, Afghanistan is in Asia.

Gideon said...

Wow, that guys is a loser. He should looked a little harder and he would have found the Venge Mcclaren..Mclaren...M...whatever......http://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/Promotional-Sales-For-S-WORKS-MCLAREN_50022761643.html?spm=a2700.7724838.35.1.zlxx2K . $1000 US FOB; which one can only assume is a derogatory phrase "fresh of the boat" I just bought three. I'll sell them for 1200 + shipping/handling.

Unknown said...

" 67.5% of non-helme(n)ted riders were involved in collisions with cars, whereas "only" 59.8% of the helme(n)ted riders were"

Whether you are wearing or not wearing a helme(n)t is irrelevant. Curious to know why you would devote any amount of column to that?

The only relevant question is IF you are in an accident, does the helme(n)t offer any protection from injury? And your $31.50 would indicate that yes, a helme(n)t can offer protection IF you are in an accident. If you would like to spend another $31.50, I can provide some information showing a thick leather full body suit would reduce road rash IF there is an accident. Matter of fact, I have multiple studies showing wearing a something to prevent injuries IF there is an accident. This includes but is not limited too air bags, seat belts, bullet proof vests and bomb shelters. Please make all checks out to Captain Obvious.

Unless of course you fall into the nut-case anti-helme(n)t crowd who claim a helme(n)t causes more injuries IF there is an accident. I'm pretty stupid but I didn't see any evidence presented to backup such a claim.

Unknown said...

Actually, the only relevant question is whether a crabon fiber bike will asplode if you are wearing a helme(n)t or not wearing a helme(n)t.

MikeS said...

I find it interesting to note that the ONLY person in the cycling roundabout video who is wearing a helmet is the photo snapper described as a " foreign tourist."

Anonymous said...

Exactly!

PotbellyJoe said...

McFly, Scandium is added to the Aluminum alloy for better welding and fatigue properties.

Really the only people who ever used scandium were the Soviets in the Cold War, mostly for the Aluminum in the MiG 21 ad 29s. So buy it, strap that fighter jet between your legs and ride smugly.

Tomac had a scandium frame as well.

Me, I'm holding out for Nitanium frame to become available.

Anonymous said...

I have a very similar Masi to the one used in Breaking away. Mine is a 1977 criterium made in Carlsbad. still runs like a champ, original campy nuovo record.

Esteemed CommentorDaddoOne said...

which might have otherwise been used to purchase goods and services...
uh...drugs and whores?

McFly said...

Not sure I would classify years of planning and fake I.D.'s and subterfuge direct.

PotbellyJoe said...

@Esteemed CommentorDaddoOne,

They're not whores, they're escorts, but Snobi Wan didn't wa to cause confusion among his apparently academically-based readership who may still aspire to one day ditch their Aspire for a fancy Escort and he is much more comfortable pushing drugs and Hyundais if that is the case.

drugs and whores? said...

Purchase!

FR8 said...

Very like the "roundabout" at Central Park West and 110.

Anonymous said...

Call me a shill, label me a sellout, and cast as much anonymous keyboard ire as you want my way.

You're a shill
You're a sellout

Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire
Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire
Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire
Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire
Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire
Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire
Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire
Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire Ire

Bob Patterson said...

Using a $4000+ carbon bike to go to the grocery store, or to class is sort of like using a Ferrari to haul rocks, don't you think? I stick with steel.

Vernal Magina said...

Dumpstumper.

JLRB said...

On my way to work today, some Italian guy jammed bikini-clad-hooker socks in my spokes

Anonymous said...

"On my way to work today, some Italian guy jammed bikini-clad-hooker socks in my spokes

Multi post reference(s) COD.

Anonymous said...

and Ire

CommieCanuck said...

Jesus..bib shorts guy just does not get old.
The "that's what she said" of sophisticated cycling comedy.
Fart.

CommieCanuck said...

"... is sort of like using a Ferrari to haul rocks,"

But Ford sued Ferrari in 2011 because Ferrari used the name "F150" on a car to celebrate the 150th year of Italy's republic, and Ford argued, successfully, that people would confuse a Ferrari with their redneck limos.

CommieCanuck said...

PBJ.. it's really time for plutonium frames to glow our way to night safety on the roads. I'm pretty sure that's what those aluminum tubes in Iraq were for, too bad we bombed the shit out of them.

Freddy Murcks said...

I am just going to throw this out there because I am that kinda guy. Riding your bike is fun, getting drunk is fun, riding while drunk is fun. If you don't live in a city with great public transit and/or cabs everywhere, biking drunk is just about the only relatively safe way to bar hop. At least you are basically only a danger to yourself, which is a helluva lot better than driving drunk. And for the record, walking while totally shitfaced can be hazardous too.

leroy said...

I don't mean to brag, but my dog often refers to me as "genius."

We even joined Mensa together.

Did you know that Mensa is so eager to welcome qualified canines that they get discounts for friends for whom they vouch?

Well, it's true.

That's how my dog got me in for only $50.

Fun fact: Mensa's President signs all membership cards in crayon.

Anonymous said...

In the doctored photo it kind of looks like Grumpy Ol' Man is gettin' in BSG's fudge tunnel so hard it's lifting him off the ground.

P. Bateman said...

you can tell the ford from the ferrari pretty easily. the ford will be the blue one in first place.

GT40 returns to le mans next year to eat their lunch again. i already have an erection.

if you want to see some unhappy race fans, the 1955 Le Mans wreck video is a laugh riot.

Billy said...

A seized seatpost, really? I thought that only happened to bikes that got left untouched behind the garage for years.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the kind of person that wants to buy a $6000 bicycle also doesn't bother to take his current fancy race bike to the LBS at least once a year.

CommieCanuck said...

I tried riding drunk once, it did not end well. Turns out you DO need your brain to ride a bike, who knew.
..and you can't vomit in a helmet with any effect. Trust me.

Anonymous said...

"drugs and whores? said...Purchase!"

Succinct COD.

CommieCanuck said...

you can tell the ford from the ferrari pretty easily. the ford will be the blue one in first place.

That was kinda 50 years ago..awkward.

P. Bateman said...

i know. just get excited about some racin'.

shooo..dang. gimme sum hrse'pwr'

Glory said...

"Let's just look at the people passing by."

That is pretty soothing.

Greenbelt said...

Well I'm embarrassed to say that I'm at Interbike. Here is my report:

Best bike ridden was a mostly metal (Reynolds 631, plastic fork) multi-function bicycle with the curved-style handlebars like they use in the Tour de France and "cable-actuated" (not exactly sure what that means) dick breaks and Shimano one hundred five gear shifting machinery from a medium sized bicycle designer-importer company that doesn't seem to sue anyone and is easy to work with. Liked that bike a lot.

Rode the same medium sized company's plastic racing all-terrain flat bar bicycle, but I locked out the suspension because I'm used to not having shock absorbing technology on my metal all-terrain bicycle back home. I did use the shifting though. It was OK, but out of my price range.

Best indoor Interbike bargain remains the fat Vegas singing Elvis socks for $5. This year's colors are orange and blue. I still have the yellow and pink version from two years ago -- they're my favorites.

That is all.

Freddy Murcks said...

The BMC Racemaster SLX01 that Freddy McFredfred had has an aluminum frame and probably had a crabon fibre seatpost. When crabon and aluminum are in contact with one another it can cause galvanic corrosion, which can fuse the seatpost to the frame.

BMC was probably right to drag out the warranty claim. It's not their fault that the dumbass who assembled the frame neglected to apply anti-sieze to the seatpost and it's not BMC's fault that Freddy McFredfred neglected to periodically remove the seatpost, clean it and reapply anti-sieze, and reassemble. In fact, Freddy McFredfred seems to be just the sort of careless dipshit that is stupid enough to buy a counterfeit Venge-schmenge.

1904 Cadardi said...

Freddy,

Whilst out on a stretchy-clothes/clickey shoes ride one evening I watched a gentleman pilot his bike down a bike path and then go suddenly limp and dive face first onto the concrete. When I reached him, I was pleased to see that A) he hadn't gone directly face first into the ground, B) was wearing a now severely damaged foam bowl on his head, C) wasn't dead, probably due to B above. I was not startled when he regained consciousness and turned out to be well past shitfaced on the inebriation scale.

Although that path can get pretty crowded during weekend daylight hours, late on weeknights it's pretty empty, so yeah, not really a danger to much anyone but himself. But boy was he a danger to himself that night. Driving he could've easily killed a bunch people, so I guess drunk biking is somewhat less asshole like.

I've wondered if he remembered the crash the next day or just thought he had an extra bad hangover.

Mark said...

Doctors may fancy Camels, but cyclists prefer something that tastes great .

Dooth said...

Years ago, decades really, I rode my bike to a bachelor party on the upper east side. I lived downtown. It was a long night (bars, strip joints, after hours club). When it was time to go home I rode down Lexington Ave around six 6am. Mostly empty streets, hardly any cabs. A sublime, peaceful ride. The road bike was a Trek 660, lugged steel, Shimano 600. Didn't wear a helment; the g-string on my head sufficed.

dnk said...

@Mark 4:30. Tastes great, smokes mild.

That is a helluva ad.

The most interesting guy in the world said...

I don't ride drunk often, but when I do I prefer Dos Equis

PotbellyJoe said...

I don't ride drunk often, but when I do I prefer Dos Equis

I believe you mean Sram Dos Equis Uno.

bad boy of the north said...

where's the hipster beard and man bun in the citibike/bmw comparison?

N/A said...

It's a damn shame when a g-string on your head won't suffice for getting you home safely.

Dylan L said...

bicycling infrastructure porn!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Scandium is nice, but my frame is made of unobtanium, and it rides like a dream!

wishiwasmerckx said...

I was at CrossVegas last night. The guy in front of me in the ticket line had a sweet Zinn frame with couplers very similar to Snob's travel bike. Turns out that the Zinn was owned by...wait for it...Lennard Zinn! The man, the myth, the legend. Pretty nice and humble guy in person. Not a trace of pretentiousness, unlike his writing.

That Guy said...

My favorite frame material is scamdium. My Chinarello is made out of it. It's vertically and laterally compliant (kind of like yo momma).

Snikebob said...

I note the study recorded no scranus injuries. I deduct a pair of pants or padded cyclist's shorts pulled over your head for riding is even more effective than a hell-ment.

millican said...

No mention of a helmet in this one:
http://www.localsyr.com/news/local-news/bicyclist-in-serious-conditon-after-being-struck-by-an-spd-officer

JLRB said...

My bike is made of Corinthian scranusdium

Ute Boote Schlute said...

Dutch Roundabout three thumbs up

Anonymous said...

Was listening to the commentary track on the Breaking Away BluRay the other day and they were talking about the scene when Dave reaches down and grabs he notebook off the ground while on riding the bike. They originally had a pro try to do it and he couldn't. Dennis Christopher got on the bike and did it in one take.

blunchbelly said...

Dear mr. Snob
Very meaty post today, I have way too many comments, sorry. The charger thing advert on
the Monty Python video actually looked useful for a Kiickstarter device. Who knew the urban
sombrero was the least ridiculous outfit? Stuck seatpiosts will surrender to PB blaster and a
pipe wrench(w/cheater if necessary). I hope you enjoyed your time in the Adirondacks this
summer. You really should move to CNY(maybe even Utica). Lots of snow means 4 to 6'
shoulders and hold on to your Waltz cap, most drivers are curteous!

Anonymous said...

Thinking crap

dop said...

Damn you Mr. Bateman...I just got home from work and started in on the wild goose chase you organized. My family used to go to Watkins Glen for the 6 hour race on saturday & the can-am on sunday. (or at least we did in 1969 & 1970. In 1969, Watkins Glen was the first race after Le Mans, and the winning GT 40 was on display, proudly retired. (Jo Siffert won the 6 hour in a 3 litre Porsche 908.) My 13 yo self took a picture of the GT 40. I've searched in my basement & I can only find a few pages of what looks like the water-damaged album.

In 1970, John Wyer crossed over to the dark side & raced Porsche 917's.

Here is the winning 917 from 1970, in Gulf colors..driven by Jo Siffert:

Jo Siffert in John Wyer's Gulf Porsche 917

Perry Mason said...

Hey, hey, hey! Let's not get carried away with all the Law 'N' Order jabber. There is no legal prohibition against riding a bikey-cycle while "officially" inebriated; DUI' s only apply to the operation of motorized veehickules. You could be such a drunken menace that even walking/staggering in public could be construed as a legal nuisance, but hardly a criminal offense like drinky driving (even with a healement).

Pro Tected said...

Blunchbelly, please wear a helme(n)t when using a cheater.

snook91901 said...

I strongly agree with you that it's extremely gross for the authors of the study to advocate for helmet laws with their dataset (this should be a public health discussion where the outcomes are already clear), but I think you've misinterpreted a major component of their analysis.
The odds ratios the authors present for the effect of helme(n)t use on head/brain injury are adjusted for differences among helmeted and non-helmeted riders behaviors. So, while conclusion #1 from this study should indeed still be DON'T BIKE DRUNK and/or STOP SALMONING, it's unfair to imply as you do that the injury outcome improvements measured by this study are due to differences in behavior leading up to accident, because the exact opposite is true.

JB said...

Scandium is like fancy aluminum. Kind of like Greek yogurt is to regular yogurt.

Doc Sarvis said...

You have my vote

Arizona redneck said...

So is Israel

Arizona redneck said...

"Scandium" isn't added to aluminum, trace amounts of boron are added, making it "Scandium"
It's an aluminum frame.

Doc Sarvis said...

Perry Masonry, in some jurisdictions people lose their licenses for riding under the influence

Arizona redneck said...

I have vague flashes of memory riding from the West Side of Brisbane to Clontarf after an all night farewell bash with a bunch of Central European deadlocked punks. I awoke the next morning fully clothed,dry as dust and confused with no idea where I was or how I got there. After assuring myself I had my wallet and zipping open the tent to check my bike was there too, I lay back down in my reeking clothes to count my many blessings. I must have been wearing a healment, they believe in that shit Down there like a Texan believes in Jeebus

Fat Fred wanting a seized seatpost said...

@Perry Mason - In MHL land you can get done for DUI on a bicycle or a horse or a motorised esky or even riding a cow and believe it or not your car driving licence will be cancelled. But you'll be pleased to know that there is a special exemption making it ok to ride a pig* DUI. (*a porky pig not a "respect my authority" pig).

Yep Arizona Redneck there is a special place in hell reserved for Australians who ride bicycles without healments on - anyway it would seem so from the comments in Australia about anything to do with cycling. Dontcha know every Australian has had their life saved multiple times due to their all powerful plastic hats.

Anonymous said...

FOAM HEAD

Anonymous said...

Welcome to Sydney .

Possibly the unfriendliest place to ride since the jurassic.

bad boy of the north said...

howse about Sidney ny....?not far from Unadilla,ny,for the new bike centric venue?

Chemist said...

Arizona Redneck - You're pretty darn incorrect about "scandium" being a name for an Al-B alloy. Scandium is an element (atomic number 21) and it is added to aluminum to make and Al-Sc alloy. Al-Sc alloys may contain boron, but that is not what makes "scandium."

PLPos0713 said...

your T zone will tell you

N/A said...

If you mix scranus with chamois juice at high temps and humidity, you get stankonium.

Anonymous said...

My HED scandium hoops sing to me.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Love peers longingly past the counterfeit Venge-Shmenge, wondering what it takes to join the exclusive sock-dong club on the other side.

Unknown said...

I got a Dutch Roundabout when I was in Vegas for interbike.

Vegas said...

I got a Dutch Roundabout when I was in Vegas for interbike.

N/A said...

I used to know a lovely young lady with questionable morals. Lighting her cigarrette and making a twirling motion with her finger, "I give 'em the ol' Dutch Roundabout" is what she'd say.

John Elias said...

So what am I supposed to do when I'm too drunk to walk home?

The bike at about 10mph? It kind of keeps itself upright. A person walking at 2mph? You might fall down 7 times before you make it home.

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