Now the idea of "aero gains at any speed" may sound a bit self-contradictory, but it's important to remember that by making some small changes to your setup and riding style you can finish your ride more quickly, which has the overall effect of reducing the amount of time you're out there enjoying yourself. This is the very essence of road riding. To that end, here are the main tips contained in the video:
1) Don't leave your jacket on
That's right, by leaving your jacket on while you ride you're rendering yourself less aerodynamic. So take it off.
What's that? You're wearing the jacket because it's cold and you feel more comfortable with it on?
Well, perhaps road riding isn't for you. Didn't you hear the guy? You can use the time you save by not wearing a jacket to stop and eat a sandwich!* Now who doesn't love sandwiches?!?
2) Don't ride a "loosely-cabled" bikes
Apparently this is a thing. You'd think if your bike's cables were too loose you wouldn't be able to shift, but apparently not. Specialized is now selling a $75 cable tension meter so you can check yours before every ride.
3) Don't use a saddle pack
Why carry essential tools when you can shave essential seconds off your recreational bike ride? Plus, you can use the time you save to eat that sandwich while waiting for your spouse or life partner to come pick you up.
4) Don't use lights
Aerodynamics trump visibility always. Sure, you might get sideswiped by a driver, but the ambulance ride is yet another perfect opportunity to break out that sandwich.
5) Get a new helme(n)t
See the vapor flowing over the helme(n)t? That's the hot air of PURE SPEED!
6) Get new clothes
Tighter, more aerodynamic clothing reveals the curves of your flabby, dimpled body. This is performance-enhancing, because everybody knows that dimples are aero.
Now get out there and ride, you uncomfortable sausage!
*It is highly inadvisable to both wear a jacket while cycling and stop for a sandwich when you're hungry, as nourishment and thermal comfort are conducive to cycling enjoyment.
But first, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right then good, and if you're wrong you'll see cows.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and stay aero.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
1) Leaked data indicates Chris Froome's maximum heart rate on Mont Ventoux was:
--61 beats per minute
--116 beats per minute
--161 beats per minute
--Undetectable, as Chris Froome is clinically dead
2) Pyongyang, North Korea is now officially more bike-friendly than NSW, Australia.
--True
--True
(Hydroformed aircraft grade aluminum sandwich containment system)
3) What's in this sandwich?
--Peanut butter and jelly
--Peanut butter and banana
--Tuna fish and raisins
--Pâté, caviar, and dry cat food
4) The town of Southold on Long Island has officially banned:
--Aerobars
--Clipless pedals
--Fixed-gear bicycles
--All cycling events from June 1st to November 1st
(#Eventualgram)
5) The bicycle is the clearly most important invention in modern history.
--True
--False
(He was also the prototype for the silent movie villain)
6) Mike Sinyard invented the safety bicycle in 1882.
--True
--False
7) Sadly, thanks to the gravel craze, you can say "hello" once again to the:
--Suspension stem
--27" road wheel
--Bicycle tire wiper
--Water-filled saddle
***Special "The Dingoes Ate His Baby"-Themed Bonus Video!***
The dogs would never catch him on a Venge-Schmenge.
124 comments:
bike scum will remain
ME!
41. For many if not most people, surrogate activities are less satisfying than the pursuit of real goals (that is, goals that people would want to attain even if their need for the power process were already fulfilled). One indication of this is the fact that, in many or most cases, people who are deeply involved in surrogate activities are never satisfied, never at rest. Thus the money-maker constantly strives for more and more wealth. The scientist no sooner solves one problem than he moves on to the next. The long-distance runner drives himself to run always farther and faster. Many people who pursue surrogate activities will say that they get far more fulfillment from these activities than they do from the “mundane” business of satisfying their biological needs, but that is because in our society the effort needed to satisfy the biological needs has been reduced to triviality. More importantly, in our society people do not satisfy their biological needs AUTONOMOUSLY but by functioning as parts of an immense social machine. In contrast, people generally have a great deal of autonomy in pursuing their surrogate activities.
A new day, a new dawn, a new quiz!
Top 20
Hey WCRM, I thought I wasn't supposed to bring essential tools because you'd fix my flat for me. What gives?
Could've podio'd but instead wasted a bunch of time reading the post! Misplaced priorities!!!!
Tawp Tayun! Yuck, yuck.
i see someone is feeling good
Uma fixes my flats.
vsk said . . .
Top Elevenus !
vsk
Walla, walla
Nut, Nut
Chuck, Chuck.
- in your butt butt.
From an early 1990s Anthem Blue Cross advert
lucky!
What's in this Sandwich?
...
...
...
Pâtè, caviar & dry cat food.
Probably didn't help that I had a mouthful of avocado But I just threw up a little in my mouth.
@ted k,
i definitley strive to solve my biological needs autonomously. though i did just solve them with the help of a pretty blonde, but that is like only 30% of the time.
I think I saw one of the cows wearing a borat thong!you're welcome.
An aerodynamic helment is a great advantage at any speed.
18 is a magic #
WATCH THIS RADBALL VIDEO!
https://www.youtube.com/embed/SbvA-vG85yw
BICYCLE SOCCER ON A BASKETBALL COURT!
AND ALSO, I LOVE CAPS LOCK!
hey... 4) Don't use lights... when i got side swiped last month, i woke up in the ambulance hungry, but didn't have my delicious sandwich because it was in my front bag.
...i didn't eat until early next morning when they told me to get the F out of the hospital... when i got up to leave, i promptly almost passed out... apparently from hunger... they gave me a sandwich, but it had no bananas or peanut butter... so i just ate a choco bar and left.
...lesson learned: always carry your PB & B sandwich in your pocket.
Is the answer to question #3 correct?
Today's quiz has a question about a white bread sandwich. The video featuring white bread proves not all cycle racers are skinny:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4O5voOCqAQ
The answer to 3 was, "The animals kill the pineapple"
Fisrt cimment ever!
I had a dog come out after me last week; some little yippie thing. The house was on a pretty large piece of corner property and I was going around the corner. Of course the owner is sitting on the porch and sees this all go down. Starts yelling at me, "Don't squirt my dog, it did nothing" Yeah, except come within 18" of my bike. Meanwhile I probably saved the stupid thing by keeping it from running under my wheels.
She'll be the perfect suburban helicopter parent some day, already pointing fingers away from the problem...
I am not a robot, robots eat yippy dogs.
Finally, the sport of cycling merges with the sport of dog beating. Amazed it took this long.
So I was eating a sandwich wrapped in Reynolds yesterday when it suffered a CATASTROPHIC failure and leaked out juice. Fucking hipster wrap. This is due to simple metal fatigue and I can tell you, the sandwich tasted buzzy.
I'm going back to my STEEL lugged lunchbox, thank you very much. Plus, the iron in the lunchbox adds precious iron to my sandwich, giving me a heart rate of 161 bpm.
Also, my scientific explanation for Froome's heart rate is simple, the monitor picked up the heart rate of the gerbil up his ass dosed with "la bomba". which is still 100% UCI legal. So suck it.
RCHD GERE
McFly,
Sorry, fixed it!
--Wildcat Rock Machine
Never wrap your sandwich in Reynolds 531. Insist on Columbus nivachrome.
no way i'm riding tubes made by drunk italians. 753 all day.
sorry, i meant wrapping sandwiches. i dont want olive oil on my pb&j
You talking about that steel-sniffer Dario?
dop,
Did you pee all over that turtle after removing the helment?
I hope not because snapping turtles have a very long reach.
Roadie riding is sucky and boring and it detracts from time that could be better spent masturbating (which is apparently the second most popular off-bike activity among roadie riders, the first being talking about roadie riding - which is also, in fact, a form of masturbation), so I can understand why roadies would want to minimize their riding time by ending their their rides sooner.
advancing into him.....pushing into him.......
Let's easy up on the doggystyle buddy, this is a familyway blog.
*ease
I think the cows were all saying "which one of you bastards is Contador?"
I went for a nice lunch time road ride and it was quite enjoyable.
What did I do wrong?
Nice work Snob! You totally got me with the $75 cable tension meter! I clicked through wondering how in the world that tool could possibly be justified, but never for a second did I question that the bike industry would try to sell such an item.
I'm so glad I am a bikecycle riding doofus nerd with peanut butter breath.
haven't had PB in days now. i did take the little end of the rye i made earlier in the week and the little end of the whole wheat i made last eve and had a little grey poop with turkey, cheese & matoe. just don't see peanut butter on a Frieda day
BICYCLE SOCCER IS LIKE BIKE POLO SO THE SNOB PROBABLY DISAPPROVES....
"Specialized is now selling a $75 cable tension meter"
O.K. So they are now the most appalling anything-for-a-buck-capitalists on Earth. Do something useful Ted and send them a package.....
BIKE SNOB IS A LOOSER BICYCLING IS HAS GIVES BALL CANCER AND LOWERS SPERM COUNT TO BOOT
Snap Trtl-
I got some flack from animal lovers at work for not moving him into the nearby stream. I figured he was mostly off the bike path & on his own.
The Sinyard cable tension thingy? PPPB BFFFTTT! Never send a boy to do a man's job.
dop,
I tried to move a turtle out of the road, got scared and dropped it.
Moral: woosies should not try to rescue turtles.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
I stopped to more a nice large turtle out of the road. The thing either whizzed, or squirted pond water, all over me. There were witnesses to let me never live it down. No good deed goes unpunished.
Only one comment from blabs? A wonderful Friday indeed!
This guy looked like he could do bad things to a careless finger. I only touched the helmet.
(signed)
A wimp who still has 10 fingers
Yeah cuz how did turtles survive evolution without humans to keep putting them in the water (where they don't live)?
Anonymous 4:41pm,
Well, he was about to get run over by a car, which is a recent evolutionary development.
--Wildcat Etc.
"Yeah cuz how did turtles survive evolution without humans to keep putting them in the water (where they don't live)?"
Turtles do live in the water.
Tortoises do not.
Well I like turtles.
All my bikes are loosely cabled. It's like a sickness.
Hahahaha Funny!
I recommend purchasing the foldable helmet Fuga by http://www.closca.co
Before dogs and humans became friends who fixed their ears when they got turned inside out?
BamaPhred,
The cable tension meter is only $2500. How many dollars per watt will it save?
Not cows.
No tits, bro!
i need that tension-o-meter. last time i redid mine, the housing for the rear brake was too high tension so it pulls away from the frame a bit and rubs against my thigh. i find that very sensual and a little bit distracting. at other times of course it is rather soothing.
please join my kickstarter program that will provide bieksickening enthusiasts with on the McFly variable cable tensioning. i've hired uma for product training.
1904 I doubt it will save you any, it's a device for measuring the tension in a support strand for telephone cables for instance. Those strand diameters are typically 5/16" or 3/8" in diameter.
Lol! Wow. That's funny. Thank you for that, for sharing the good words 'rock a doodle doo.' Spread the joy! How very odd to receive a backhanded compliment like that from the spineless sort of troll who kicks someone when they're down. Since we're friends now, please do tell me, is it physically painful to be that udderly, morally bankrupt?
When Ted K. goes ALL CAPS, I pay attention.
minimalism
New Quiz:
Worst BSNYC commentator of all time?
1. Angry Dragon
2. C.J. (who is/was probably a retuned Angry Dragon)
3. Ted K.
4. A nonny mouse
4. TBD...
Pick me, pick me!
McFly @ 5:46,
I think it was the other hunter/gatherer members of their tribe.
100 degrees, heat advisory.
Multiple seasons of Trailer Park Boys.
Best thing ever to come out of Canada.
Pretty toasty here as well. Think me and junior are gonna ride some bikes with engines in the canopy of some trees tomorrow. Then onto the boat. Got to rig the new anchor up! I'm an idiot.
Get well soon Ms. Babs. Adult beverages and Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream will cure anything.
Unfortunately, nothing cures stupid.
babbleon and on and and on and on and on and on...
practice what thou preach and accidents happen no more.
I hate when we argue. We were having such a nice discussion about turtles.
Summer Sucks.
should i be proud or embarassed that happy to-get-her is on my smarting phone?
I don't know Spokey, but this couple seems happy together.
Do you know what I fucking HATE!! I fucking hate stupid fucking people with stupid fucking squeaky chains! Fuck! "Have you ever heard of fucking OIL!", I yell at them. "It's that fucking black goo that they pump out of the ground, so you can put it on your fucking chain!" Do you know what else I fucking hate! I hate seeing videos of fucking dogs on fucking surfboards! Fuck!! "What the Fuck is this?!!", I screamed at my tv the other day. "Why don't you fucking tie the fucking dog to a hang glider and hurl it off a cliff?" Fuck!! I'm so angry my nose is starting to bleed.
You know what burns my ass? A flame this high.
(indicates about hip height with hand)
Karma is in fact a bitch.
Right??! So that's a resounding yes, then. It hurts something fierce, I expect, doesn't it, dearest anonytroll?
i hate it when my crank clicks
and when i'm standing, i.e. dancing on the pedals, e.g. visualize the dancing bears at the circus, i get a squeak.
several lbs can't fix either. i've tightened the crank bolts and re-torqued (got help from miley) the bottom bracket cups and nothin works.
hanks my crank.
but dogs on surfboards? who gives a flying fuck? other than ZM of course. but then i've never seen one. perhaps i'll flip if i do.
nothin to sey. just thought i'd start a slow brake-a-way to the century
That's what she said
Who remembers all that Shimano Aero line from the early 80s? I was surprised at the time it didn't stick around for long.
That's what she said
he said she sed
you don't understand what I said
I said nonono, you're wrong
Ted K(ennedy)
My brothers got to bang Marilyn & all I got was this Senate seat.
I was on Nightline for all those years and all I got was this shitty haircut
91
92
92 1/2
I hate it when my crank is cranky
95
I know Spokey is lurking
that's what she said
that's
she said
Lead out.
https://twitter.com/leroys_dog/status/621705596123918336
How about that. Congrats dop.
Now that the thunder storm has passed thru it's tolerable outside.
Of course it's dark also.
good show dop
but i'm claiming 102 podi
or the 103 & 104 podi
I've podi on the nineteenth..1.1
all of us in snobbie's hemorrhoids better get out early today. it's already 78. snobs must be lighting his flatulence.
WBSNYCCOAT
Babs, hands down.
CONGRATS!
You live up to your promise on this one. Brilliant! Even though it is so easy to make fun of Fred.
The concept of "aero gains at any speed" is just stupid. As (I think) Rollie Fingers pointed out they last time this general topic came up, air resistance increases with the square of the speed. Air resistance at fred cruising speed (12-15 mph) is a minimal factor (regardless of what you are wearing, what you are riding, or what accessories you have attached to your bike) compared to the importance of minimizing air resistance at, for instance, pro time trial speed (~25-35 mph).
Freddy - not sure it was me... not sure it was I... no wait me... aw shit! not sure whom I were me it was, who said that, but it sounds like a pretty good description of reality. Which means, HELLO, the best way to reduce air drag is to reduce speed! As speed approaches 0, so does air drag! Bottom line: AERO GAINS AT ANY SPEED, just by going slower. If you cut your speed in half, say from 18mph to 9mph, you are improving your aerodynamics by a FACTOR OF FOUR, people!
i must be the most aero rider around then. i'm certainly the slowest rider around.
WOW
snobbie has taken on robbie the robot. I just got Select all images with bicycles
Air resistance is pretty significant at fred "woo hoo hoo!" speed, but it's still not a big deal because fred "woo hoo hoo!" speed is only attained going down hill and is never sustained for very long.
Dog on surfboard. Dog on surfboard. Dog on surfboard. Dog on surfboard.
Sometimes when I am about to pray, I ask myself, "If Jesus couldn't walk on water, would he do the dog paddle"?
sometimes when i am about to prey, I ask myself "will the wolves get me or will i get the wolves?"
sometimes when i comment, the robot demands of me "Select all images with airplanes"
I took spokey's advice & went for a ride before it got hot (unsuccessful...90 by the time I was home. I stopped to look at a hawk for a while. He was screeching loudly, so I videotaped him. He got pretty pissed off with me
let's move on to the knees Hanah
i managed to get back at 90 'merican too. maybe around 11:00. but it got to 94 so it was a good move
After seeing those photos blown up, I realize that's no ordinary hawk...it's an osprey
I had a mishap at the urinal today.
me, too
"air resistance increases with the square of the speed."
It's more than that
Air resistance FORCE increases with square of the speed.
The power to overcome air resistance increases with the CUBE of the speed.
As always, Sheldon has the facts:
http://www.sheldonbrown.com/rinard/aero/formulas.htm
http://sheldonbrown.com/rinard/aero/index.htm
Presumption of innocence is only necessary if you first presume a crime has been committed. I'd be happy to presume innocence if we first accept that a crime has been committed.
I had a driver's ed instructor -- in (Upstate) NY, mind you, that abhorred the word "accident" in reference to auto collisions. He taught and repeatedly emphasized that the frequency of collisions that were true accidents (and not due to some aspect of negligence, distraction, or other identifiable behavior of one or more parties involved) were exceedingly rare. Bad brakes? Not an accident! Icy road? Not an accident!
This has stuck with me all these years, and at least 100 people were in that lecture (and he'd taught driver's ed forever). Your guess is as good as mine how many other boneheaded 16 years olds actually got the message.
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