Friday, June 19, 2015

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!


(It's the new golf, you know.)

Good morning class.  It's a Friday late in the school year, and I see you all fidgeting.  Therefore, I'm going to go ahead and give you your quiz now so you can start your weekends early and your teacher can start drinking.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right that's fantastic, and if you're wrong you'll see the hour record.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and enjoy--and don't forget to watch the bonus video to the very end, because it's amazing and potentially life-changing.



--Wildcat Rock Machine




1) What do these numbers mean?

--Aspect is usually expressed in degrees from north
--Slope, aspect, and surface curvature in terrain analysis are all derived from neighborhood operations using elevation values of a cell's adjacent neighbours
--Slope is a function of resolution, and the spatial resolution used to calculate slope and aspect should always be specified
--Dude, you like totally need a road bike with a Lefty because it's rad






2) The Broken Bones Bicycles crabon road bike is called:

--"The Fracture"
--"The Failure Mode"
--"The Warranty Replacement"
--"The Douche Chariot"







3) In 1989, Tour de Trump promoter Donald Trump sued Tour de France organizer the Amaury Sport Organisation for copyright infringement.

--True
--False





("I'm this many!")

4) How old did Eddy Merckx turn this week?

--70
--75
--80
--85






(Classy.)

5) Podium ceremony "curated" by:

--"Hostessen Service No Limit"
--"Femmes en Fietsen"
--"Hostessen Service No Handjob"
--Eddy Merckx






(The most labor-intensive hydration system I've ever seen.)

6) Apparently people in Portland have nothing better to do than carry beverages around in leather.

--Ture
--Flase





(We're only making plans for Nigel.)

7) What is the "ShockWiz?"



***Special Incredible Outlaw Bikepacker-Themed Bonus Video!***




Did he say "a tortured soul on a bike ride to Hell?"

That's pretty much every Tour de France winner from the past 100 years.


120 comments:

Ted K. said...

30. We certainly do not claim that leftists, even of the oversocialized type, NEVER rebel against the fundamental values of our society. Clearly they sometimes do. Some oversocialized leftists have gone so far as to rebel against one of modern society’s most important principles by engaging in physical violence. By their own account, violence is for them a form of “liberation.” In other words, by committing violence they break through the psychological restraints that have been trained into them. Because they are oversocialized these restraints have been more confining for them than for others; hence their need to break free of them. But they usually justify their rebellion in terms of mainstream values. If they engage in violence they claim to be fighting against racism or the lik

Neil said...

Podium?

Chemmy said...

Podium?

Neil said...

Podium?

Anonymous said...

howdy!

cycle

Anonymous said...

Rapha!

Old-timer said...

I wonder if I could ever be a “Bro”? I know that as an old-timer cyclist, I certainly am a “Fred”. And, as a recumbent rider, I am automatically in the “Nerd” category. Old-timer Bro? Well, it does have a nice ring to it! What IS a “Bro”, anyway?

Anonymous said...

Topp Tenn!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top ten...

Ted K. said...

Podium!

P. Bateman said...

top tyn?

Bryan said...

I like where you are going with this drinking thing. I think I'll take your advice there

P. Bateman said...

just nailed down one of the more vexing parts - affordable 650b wheels that are rim brake compatible. turns out that is like finding good writing or "funny" on BSNYC. BAM!

kidding snoberdong.

Anonymous said...

Top 14

Anonymous said...

Yesterday was 99 degrees ('merican) with a heat index of 107. I went for a ride just to see if my tires would explode. They did not. But hey...i wasnt actually racing so, yeah.

RANTWICK said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
RANTWICK said...

Holy crap! I thought that crime stoppers thing must have been a joke, but there's a whole ton of preachy/weird crimestopper videos from that cop in St. Landry parish! Is it normal for crimestopper thingies in the southern states to contain religious diatribes? Is this one guy / place just freakin' weird? Please, somebody tell me it's a one-off kind of thing. Please.

P. Bateman said...

i wonder if Hell's road laws will require the Wildman to wear a Hell-mut?

Anonymous said...

DINGLEBERRIES!

Lt. Higgins said...

Turn yaseff in, son.

Il Bruce said...

I thought Nigel had his future in British steel.

Anonymous said...

that crimestoppers video was damn thing of beauty. wildman on a bike

Anonymous said...

The bicycling thief is obviously a "Leftist"

Jon Webb said...

That video made me want to turn myself in, even though I haven't been near St. Landry Parish. I really want to start a new life in their jail, it sounds wonderful.

JLRB said...

I shoulda studied more - got a C-

maybe some education in a Louisiana prison will straighten me out

McFly said...

RANTWICK those Southern Sheriff's do not play. Our town of 10,000 has like 20 drug dogs and a chopper and a SWAT team, etc. He unleashed a canine unit on his daughter's car in the high school parking lot a couple of years ago. They found some hooter's. Besides her C cups.

Boss Man said...

What we have here is a failure to communicate

BamaPhred said...

Aced the quiz. Officer Higgins, fuckwit. Yeah, they'll help you out in the St Landry parish jail, I'm sure. Typical multi family dwelling pictured in video.

dop said...

scranus

Frilly Chick said...

Six out of seven, not bad. Need to be the teacher's pet for the easy A.

Anonymous said...


Mr. Snob;

1. Your photoshop skills are getting less bad.

A. The ShockWiz thing is over 75% funded (or is that 75 degrees?)

II. Second answer choice to Question 5, did you know you were mixing langues?


JB said...

Hi Frilly! It's good to know that you haven't drowned.

Shouldn't the mtn. bike wheelie enthusiast just get a unicycle? Someone set up a Kickstarter.

babble on said...

Yay Frilly! You're already the commentariat's favourite, so there's that. :) xo xo

Higgens... OMG, too much power, not enough conscience. Crazy man. He's a preacher, an evangelist energized with his own righteous convictions. "We will redeem you behind bars, sinner!" Never mind that you'll be somebody's bitch. I'm my own bitch, thank you kindly. This pope to be prefers the two wheeled road to hell over corporate America's new and improved slave trade any day.

Besides. On the outside, I am free to join teacher in the sacramental right of beer Friday. It's noon somewhere...

Blog Drafter said...

I believe the correct answer to Question #4 should be ten. Awesome video, a keeper, and a great reason to stay out of Louisiana.

Kudos to Leroy and his dog for having such great taste in music, I wept all night, shuddering "Maria, Maria", and was a great dork in general. She'll do that to you.

Former Nepal Peace Corps Volunteer said...

"Shouldn't the mtn. bike wheelie enthusiast just get a unicycle?"

If he did he would have to go 6.51 kilometers (degrees?) further in an hour.

Also, this is the stupidest bike related thing I've seen in a long time.

Anonymous said...

It's good to have a faith in the Lord. Makes it easier to commit atrocities. "Son it's not me givin' you a beatin', it's the Lord! May the Lord's Holy Collapsible Baton of Righteousness rain down blows upon you while your hands are bound with the Anointed Handcuffs of Justice until you find the Great Redeeming Hematoma of Salvation!"

Not creepy at all!

leroy said...

Ride safe all -- especially if you were considering a tattoo at gunpoint from a tortured soul on a bike ride to hell.


(DB - stopped by NYC Velo last night very briefly. It's been a while. Nice looking shop. They had the lights I wanted and price was reasonable. I overheard employee helping person with rental bike and answering questions. He seemed friendly, knowledgeable, and attitude-free.)

Anonymous said...

"...attitude-free..."

That is possible in NYC?

Spokey said...

i took the highway to hell a couple weeks ago. or a couple days ago. lately it all seems the same.

anyway, got to the 7th level and there was dop waiting for me with a delicious iced tea*. i found the whole thing quite delightful.












* of course being the 7th level, the ice had already melted. i asked dop to wait till he saw me comin' round the bend to put the ice in.

Anonymous said...

I hope that "tortured soul on a bike ride to hell" took the highway...(Que AC/DC)

Frilly Chick said...

Hi JB! Still staying afloat? I actually went to spin class last night so I could get some riding in. Ugh.

Back at yau Babs! You are the queen of my heart always.

Frilly Chick said...

*Back at ya!

Angry Beaver in Miramichi said...

Frilly Chick is back! Yes!!!! (from someone who has been around long enough to remember one of her previous profile pictures).

Babble gets of a good line this morning "This pope to be prefers the two wheeled road to hell over corporate America's new and improved slave trade any day." Very well done

Anonymous said...

Man it looks hot in Louisiana. Is it hot there? I'm sweating up here in Quebec's nether regions and cannot imagine it being any hotter. Have not seen any wild man on a bicycle as of yet, though did see some riders riding to hell in the Tour de Beaunce.

BamaPhred said...

I don't know which one made me snort the most coffee thru my nose, the opening picture of "the new golf", which is a great example of Primitive Art, or the St Landry Parish jail endorsement. I guess I will go with New Guy Golf parody, as the sheriff is altogether too real and will lock your ass up for real.

JLRB said...

South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley says the gunman who killed nine people during a shooting spree at a Charleston church should get the death penalty.

Not a big fan, but in this case ...

PotbellyJoe said...

I work with a few cyclists as well as a few triathletes. The other day at lunch one of the triathletes stated that we mere cyclists 'have no idea' how difficult it is to pee while riding.

I said, "You're right, because I've never even thought of trying."

Anonymous said...

On a highway to hell, but some guy on a bike keeps taking the damn lane!

southern_comfort said...

Man it looks hot in Louisiana. Is it hot there?

It's not the heat itself, because that's just 90+ 'mericun. It's the humidity. Nothing like a torrential downpour to ease 95% humidity on a 80+ degree day.

There are some beautiful places there and definitely worth a visit any other time of year but summer. It's another, strange world if you are invited into the daily life.

southern_comfort said...

Man, that Law Enforcement dude is scary. Imagine getting a moving violation from that guy passing through his county and he decides you need some "rehabilitation."

Because rules, laws, God, etc..

DB said...

Thanks for the report, Leroy.
Happy Fathers Day,

JLRB said...

So. If cycling is new golf, should we be riding in madras shorts, knickers, sweater vests, etc?

Fuckiwannaleaveworkearlybutcan't

grog said...

Deputy Dawg says. Punk. You rehabilitated yourself?
RIDE NICE
MORE BABE

PotbellyJoe said...

Disturbing search trends for the Googles shows that bikepacking and gravel bikes are way too closely related in timeframe and search volume.

Betty Broder told me her neighbor was putting her dog up for adoption. I've always wanted a dog.

Dave said...

Got my G.E.D.
In the Lawtell Jail
where the bullfrogs pee
and the caimans wail.
Now my tortured soul
rides a bike to hell
over red-hot coal
in downtown Lawtell.

(Play that harmonica, son...)

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
 And you may find yourself in another part of the world 
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile 

Same as it ever was in Lawtell, La.

1983 David Byrne said...

Three hundred sixty five degrees!

BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE

Anonymous said...

Angry Beaver - I think you meant "Babble gets off."

Angry Beaver in Miramichi said...

If Frilly had aced the test she could have sat on the teacher's lap. Then again, maybe Prof Snob grades on a "curve".

Spokey said...

So. If cycling is new golf, should we be riding in madras shorts, knickers, sweater vests, etc?

what?? is there someone here who doesn't. the sweater vest was a little hot today. i think i'll stuff it in the trunk bag on the next ride to the 7th level.

wishiwasmerckx said...

I have only one question for the witness:

Psycho killer, qu'est qu'est ce?

Spokey said...

wiwm

you gots to start paying attention to what jillian puts in your morning scotch.

Anonymous said...

Hey, if anyone remembers yesterday’s post about Cannondale’s new bikes shod with low-pressure 650B tires, here’s a brief primer on the configuration. Up until now it’s been the domain of custom builders, who apparently managed to attract enough of a market share to interest the big corps:

https://janheine.wordpress.com/2015/06/19/allroad-bikes-hit-the-mainstream/

wishiwasmerckx said...

Spokey, it's potent blend of arsenic, saltpeter and strychnine, and it's a hell of a drug.

Anonymous said...

Late and all - but WTF was that crime stoppers video? Jail? Help? F-that.

Frilly Chick said...

I would totally sit on Snobbie's lap. No A required.

David G said...

"Commerce Secretary Penny Pritzker … the second cabinet official to suffer a biking accident in recent weeks … badly bruised her left hip and is on crutches after hitting a patch of loose gravel while training for a triathlon over the weekend, a Commerce official said."

A filthy rich cabinet secretary and gravel and triathlon training. Kerry pwned.

Anonymous said...

Your grades, they are crap.
Come....sit on my lap.
My shorts have a flap.
I'll be done in a snap.
My bad it's a trap.
Now you got the clap.
And I need a nap.

Stuart said...

I certainly hope Officer Higgins pulls his pistol as slow as he talks. But I have to admit, he makes St. Landry Parish Jail sound pretty nice. It can really fix all those things? Well, if I didn't already have my high school degree, I sure would have signed up.

Wryguyhi said...

All that Crimestoppers sheriff is doing is reinforcing how bicycles are the best form of transport going, for short to medium distances of up to 10km or so, and minor to medium thefts of up to 10kgs or so.

Seriously, they would have caught the sticky fingered scofflaw already if he drove a car.

Hey help me out snobettes: does the expression "major malfunction" originate with Full Metal Jacket, or is it old school marine speak, or from somewhere else?

Holy Roller said...

Sinners! The road (Highway) unto hell is wide and spacious whilst the road unto salvation is narrow, twisting and turning. Therefore he that does have the gravel bike is but closer to the kingdom of God.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. A goofy single tine fork thingy ought to be fine.

Top said...

What is your major malfunction? ...Numb nuts!

(Don't forget the numb nuts.)

Anonymous said...

Still waiting to hear if you are dude/bro/man enough to go bikepacking. East Coast as I described. I think your bike skills might suffice, but your ability to live outdoors could be suspect. We could find out. As I said, I have done this and am not creepy, and my Scout son would be coming along to support you on this endeavor. He can take care of your punctures and adjust your dick brakes. As as a New Yorker, a place I once survived, are you open to an "Adventure" in the woods? I hope you can respond to me, even though I have tried to be "anonymous". You have all weekend to evaluate your dude/bro/manhood. We await your sign up on our next ride.

Anonymous said...

that's fcking creepy - hey dude come shit in the woods with me and my son

babble on said...

Wait a minute... you're questioning his manhood AND threatening that your boy will adjust his dick brake AND you want him to head out into the deep, dark woods with a self admitted anonycreeper? Er ... yeah, good luck with that.

You might have had a response had you invited the whole family to a five star Mediterranian cruise where the woman he tricked into marrying him and carrying his eighteen children can sit on Cipo's lap every night, if she chose. But only an off chance.

-A glass half full snobette.

D,B. Cooper said...

Ayy...can anyone here break a c-note?

Anonymous said...

Lantern rouge...

puteminadeetch said...

Put em ina deetch!

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Stay tuned...Will Snobby accept the gauntlet thrown down by Anon 10:49????Will he engage in a penis measuring contest to prove his brohood??? What pithy comeback will our favorite blogger create to cut down Anon's macho swagger??? So much is riding on this, Snobby... Your manhood has been challeged! Do ou have it in you to shit all over a farmer's yard and walk away, leaving your manly mark of posterity( and a little lump of Charmin) for all to see?? I can't wait for Monday!

meltyman said...

WIWM June 19, 2015 at 5:51 PM: Eh?
Ce n'est pas "Psycho killer, qu'est qu'est ce?"!
Pas tout à fait.
C'est "Psycho killer, qu'est-ce que c'est?"

OfficerHiggins said...

Don't take the bait, Snob. I went on one of these adventures with "Anon" . I woke up the next morning with a sore anoose, as Borat would say. I don't think it was my seat post pegging me either, no matter what Anon sez.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 10:49pm,

My ability to live outdoors is non-existent.

I'm OK with that.

I generally make sure I'm back in town in plenty of time for cocktail hour.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

David Pearce said...

Speaking of Making Plans for Nigel and imbibing, you'll never guess! Went to a party! I danced all night! Drank sixteen beers & started up a fight!

But now I'm jaded! You're out of luck! I'm rolling down the stairs to drunk to F**k!

Ed Gentry said...

Anonymous 10:49 sounds like he might could be related to that feller that sow-domized Bobby and that Lewis then shot with his recurve bow. Now we were using canoes instead of bicycles that day-- cuz we're actual men instead of a buncha poofs-- but I bet the same thing would happen on this "bikepacking" lark.

David Pearce said...

This is not that innocuous radio game, "Can You Make it to Ten?"!

Instead I will just tell you I am pretty must just a tortured soul on a bike ride to Hell!

David Pearce said...

Must, much, whatever. Scarlett, I really don't give a damn!

leroy said...

Dear Mr. 10:49 PM-

Your "Dude/Bro/Man" query was a big hit at my dog's karaoke night earlier.

He used it for that Sesame Street jingle:

"One of these things is not like the other,
One of these things just doesn't belong...."

Dooth said...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gXNhL4J_S00

XTC

babble on said...

It's Car Free Day in Vancouver and Victoria, and the end of the first week of Velopalooza here in Van, too. Wonder what kind of trouble I can find...

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Haha, Babble, you misspelled carefree. You wrote car free, as if anyplace would actually celebrate "car free". Could you even imagine anyplace actually going "car free" for a day? You should be more careful ( or car full, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore!). Enjoy Care Free Day!

David Pearce said...

@12:02 a.m. Sunday.

Another typo mia culpa: I meant "too drunk", not "to drunk"....

babble on said...

Lol! Silly me. Actually, as you know, I have an active and fertile imagination, and I can and regularly do imagine whole car-free cities. And happily (if somewhat surprisingly) enough, the list of car-free places and spaces on Earth is large and growing. There's lots of information about progressive car-free planning and legislation online when you check into it, but you'll find a basic list of the places as they presently exist if you google "Car Free Places," and check the wicking-paedia results. (I tried to leave a link, but blogger wouldn't accept that particular https reference.)

Anonymous said...

"...a tortured soul on a bike ride to Hell," or an angel of the mountains dancing on the pedals? You be the judge...

John Watson Radavist said...

Look at all the gleaming piles of man shit! #lightbro

McFly said...

So I watched the recap of the Criteria Doo Daphney and a bicycle sponsor is Alpecin, a caffiene shampoo that stimulates hair growth and naturally I wonder "Will people buy anything?"

dop said...

be vewy quiet

dop said...

I'm a hunter

dop said...

heh heh heh

dop said...

I'm hunting centuries

dop said...

For a second there I thought it was 'cat free' days in Vancouver

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

I was almost ciento something.

Saturday afternoon about 4:45pm I was going west onto the Verrazano Bridge upper level and saw a police car pulled over on the right hand shoulder.

Ahead of him was a tall Asian gentleman in a helment with a ladies white Trek.
He apparently made most of the climb before being stopped. I wish I had the camera ready!

Happy Monday !!

vsk

JLRB said...

So the bottom line is ... if you have a perfect game in the 9th with 2 out and a 2-2 count, do not throw the inside slider

Anonymous said...

DO NOT THREE PUTT ON THE LAST GREEN!!!

Casey Stengel said...

To his credit, when asked how he felt about not getting the perfect game, Max Scherzer said "I felt bad for 2 seconds and then went on to try to win the game."

DB said...

Scherzer! Harper! Nats!

JLRB said...

I was there Saturday for the almost almost - Scherzer is insane

Tommy Lasorda said...

A slider? a f-/:;(mg slider? Perfect game going, deuces wild, ninth inning! You gotta be f"@&);mg kidding me!

JLRB said...

...on my way into the game I saw a bicyclist who appeared to have hit the pavement - two cop cars on the scene - two cops sort of berating the guy - I gathered he ran a stop sign into a cop car (probably also running the stop sign) - he seemed OK

dop said...

I turned off the Northway (aka I-87 above Albany) to get coffee at the wrong exit Saturday...11 instead of 12...Round Lake instead of Malta. Less than a mile off the highway was Leah's bakery, run out of the first floor of a big old house next to the Zim Smith Trail . The garden was full of cyclists (in helments) and joggers in yoga pants. The trail is a rails-to-trails deal, 9 miles from Halfmoon to Ballston Spa, slated to be extended to 20 miles. Suburban/rural cycling heaven.

Stop by Leah's. Try the bread pudding.

JLRB said...

Baseball geeking out continued: Fair and Balanced Analysis

OK - enough of that ...

DB said...

Watched game between tornados on MLBtv.
Love my Nats!

Anonymous said...

Do they still have valet bike parking at national's Stadium?

JLRB said...

I was torn - had family from Pittsburgh with me at the game (big portion of the crowd was sporting the Jolly Roger), but we have adopted the Nats as our home team since they moved to DC a decade ago. Had to root for the perfect game though; it died like so many do - 27th batter is a tough one. I was helping my son keep score in a program and the three players per inning looked weird. That is one for the scrapbook for sure...

AND since this blog sometimes has something to do with bikes - here is a little tie between Scherzer and bikes

JLRB said...

Anon @11:02 - Yes they do - I didn't get to use it Saturday 'cause I had to haul a bunch of peeps to the game but I walked by it. Last time I used it valet was overflowing with bikes.

They also have a metric fukton of DC's version of the bikeshares piled up - they supplement the receiving station with a receiving area somehow.

Anonymous said...

Babble do you play any stick-n-balls sports?

I bet you're 1st string.

Macros Satu said...

Assalamualaikum ... Hallo gan, salam kenal ! Ane dari De Nature Indonesia minta izin buat promo sekalian titip link ya gan, Mohon komentar ane jangan dihapus ... :)

Cara Mengobati Kencing Sakit
Pengobatan Sakit Sipilis
Obat Sipilis Kencing Sakit Ampuh
Pengobatan Kencing Sakit
Mengobati Sipilis Tanpa Ke Dokter
Gejala Dan Pengobatan Kencing Sakit
Cara Mengobati Kencing Sakit Tanpa Ke Dokter
Obat Kencing Sakit De Nature
Obat Alami penyakit Sipilis
Cara Ampuh Sembuhkan Sipilis

Mas Andi said...

#Tag :
Obat Kutil Di Kemaluan
Obat kutil di kemaluan pria
Obat kutil di kemaluan wanita
Obat untuk kutil di kemaluan
Kumpulan obat kutil di kemaluan
Obat alami kutil di kemaluan
Artikel obat kutil di kemaluan
Obat kutil di sekitar kemaluan

Segera Hubungi Kami Dan Pesan Obatnya Sekarang Juga di Fast Respond : 087705015423 PIN : 207C6F18.

Apotik Denature said...

Obat Untuk BAB Mengeluarkan Darah ? Segera Hubungi Kami Dan Pesan Obatnya Sekarang Juga di Fast Respond : 087705015423 PIN : 207C6F18.

Penjual Obat Ambeyen said...

Penjual Obat Ambeyen ? Segera Hubungi Kami Dan Pesan Obatnya Sekarang Juga di Fast Respond : 087705015423 PIN : 207C6F18.