Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Pefrection is Overated.

Last week we took an in-depth look at the Visp Whatever-This-Thing-Is:


And subsequently WorkCyles informed me there's also a version with sweet three-spoke wind-cheating, squirrel-slicing mags:
Here's a closer look:


If nothing else, the design team at Visp clearly have their fingers on the pulse of the high-end bicycle market.  Unfortunately, they're wearing oven mitts and can't feel anything, so this bike is basically them yelling "Clear!" and zapping us with the defibrillator paddles.  Actually "The Defribrillator" would have been a good model name, but they went with "Machete" instead, which is even better:


It's especially fitting on the tri-spoke version since, should you attempt to adjust the rear derailleur, the rotor, the kickstand brace, and the wheel will conspire to slice your forearm like a Boar's Head bologna.

By the way, if you're regretting having already bought the other version, you can always buy those Accrue wheels separately and "upgrade:"


Company Overview

ACCRUE is originated from U.S.A.,a famous auto wheel manufacturer.Mr Mike brought its technology into one piece bicycle wheel industry,it created a new concept of one piece wheel in bicycle industry by making the first set magnesium wheel in China in 2008.
Ningbo ACCURE SPORTS EQUIPMENT CO.,LTD. is located in Ningbo,the beautiful Delta area of Changjiang river.All our products were designed by a specialist team in U.S.A.,equipments come from Germany.Our company are subject to Mr.JACK’s administration policy of Humanization,standardization and specialization,were cooperated with  some famous  brand  such as ACCRUE(America),SORUN(Italy),CREATE(UK) worldwide.
Ningbo ACCURE SPORTS EQUIPMENT CO.,LTD. Is very expecting your visit and cooperation

You don't want to cross Mr. Jack.

In other hot bicycle product news, Leroy's Dog spotted this bike at the Brooklyn Museum:


It is by artist Ai Weiwei, and it can be yours for only $27,500:


Ai Weiwei, one of China’s most famous and prolific contemporary artists, created this limited-edition artwork to support the Brooklyn Museum’s recent presentation of his major survey exhibition, Ai Weiwei: According to What? The bicycle, the main mode of transportation for much of China’s population, is a recurring theme in Ai’s work. This limited-edition artwork is stamped on the head tube with a signature and edition number, includes an imprint of an image of the artist’s face on the seat, and is accompanied by two signed wrenches and a certificate of authenticity.

Wow, looks like Ai Weiwei is looking to out-Budnitz Old Man Budnitz himself.  I especially like how this bike is a less practical version of a $500 mail order bike from State Bicycle--though as a cyclist I can certainly appreciate the attention to detail, right down to the half-a-fender:


Plus, you get to sit on his face:


Of course, if you want a more Fredly bike for your twenty grand, you could always buy a Specialized-McLaren Venge-Schmenge, which is just what someone in Portland did:



BP: Can you tell us anything about the lucky owner (is he/she local)?
RCB: The McLaren is for a customer who is local. He’s a very dedicated rider who works in the automotive industry and appreciates the reputation, quality and precision of McLaren’s work. He’s also a big fan of Specialized and the geometry of the Tarmac model works very well for him.

BikePortland posed that question very diplomatically, because I would have phrased it thusly:

"You live in in the bespoke artisanal handmade bicycle capital of the world, yet you paid $20,000 for a plastic Specialized.  Isn't that like living in Tokyo and having pre-packaged sushi rolls flown in from a Safeway in Phoenix?"

BP: Specialized says it’s “most technically advanced bike ever”… But what does that translate to a non-techy bike lovers?
RCB: This bike is the most technically advanced bike ever because of the McLaren influence. McLaren is mostly known for its work with Formula One racing cars and has vast experience in carbon lay up, design and aerodynamics. So, while the tube shapes and geometry are fully Specialized engineered, the collaboration with McLaren offered a new level of carbon design and manipulation that will result in reduced weight and drag, improved ride quality and durability. Similarly, the frame was painted at McLaren so the weight and durability of the paint is above and beyond what Specialized normally uses. All of the chrome accents on the frame are made from chrome metal paint rather than chrome colored paint. They were able to use significantly different bearings in the bottom bracket than normal, vastly improving the durability and reducing friction. The rather large price tag is not necessarily the result of the “limited edition” status but from the technological and performance upgrades such a price can allow.

The only "technically advanced" aspect of the bike is the electronic shifting, which has nothing to do with Specialized or McLaren.  As for the "vastly improved" bottom bracket, before all these stupid press-fit interfaces a bottom bracket was quiet and lasted and spun roughly forever, so perhaps in 20 years the McSchmenge will use revolutionary new one-piece sealed cartridge technology as well as a proprietary press-fit crank arm interface:


($99?)


BP: Any other comments?
RCB: This bike is a great example of the passion Portland area cyclists have and the commitment to performance and innovation Specialized has. We’re excited to be a part of the whole process. I’ve been told that this was the only McLaren sold north of San Francisco and east of Boulder. Not sure if that’s entirely true but it’s safe to say that there won’t be many riding around this area.

Is it really a great example of cycling passion?  Or is it just further proof that Boulder, San Francisco, and Portland now form an area known as the "Fred Triangle?"


Anyway, I thought it rather ironic that a post about the sale of a $20,000 bicycle included this message:


Though perhaps this is a subtle attempt on BikePortland's part to guilt the owner into kicking in a few bucks.

Speaking of the Fred Triangle, an informant informs me that someone in Boulder can't handle "The Lance Package" anymore:



The Lance Package - Good Stuff - $150 (Boulder)

So now that Lance keeps doing boneheaded shit, I am selling some of my collectables. Did you hear about his latest ruckus in Aspen, hitting those parked cars? JEEZ!!!! What a guy.

So........I just can't hold onto my Lance crap anymore, but surely there's someone out there who loves him more than I do. For sale is a vintage USPS jersey (size XL), hardbound copy of "Lance" (author: John Wilcockson), and a SIGNED copy of Comeback 2.0 (signed by him, and Liz Kreutz). I got the signed copy of Comeback 2.0 when I was at Mellow Johnny's in 2009. All are in near mint condition, and the jersey is like new (never wore it, too large for me). All are being sold "as is", as one package, and will sell on one condition, that the future owner proudly display items on his or her coffee table, or pinned up in the shop wall, for all to see!!

Oh, and even if you aren't interested in The Lance Package, here's a link to Sheryl Crow's song, "If It Makes You Happy". Enjoy.

Evidently it was the drunk driving incident of all things that pushed the seller over the edge, though I'm not sure how you can call it "The Lance Package" if it doesn't include a lone Neuticle:


I mean come on.

Meanwhile, Bernard Hinault says the whitest sporting event this side of the caber toss isn't going to stay that way for much longer:


"These guys have perhaps got something else on their side, and that's their hunger to succeed! They really want to get out of the difficulties they find themselves in, just as we did 60 or 70 years ago. If you become a high-level athlete, that gives you the chance to better yourself, to make a better life for yourself."

Actually, they're more than ready to win the Tour, they're just waiting for Phil Liggett to retire first:



Oh, Phil:



And let's not even address his psycho-sexual wheel-changing narration, or his predilection for making gentle love to wombats:


He's the Bill Cosby of marsupials.

Lastly, yesterday I mentioned "Vision Zero," and here's a fun article:



Police have arrested 17 drivers — including six MTA bus operators — under the controversial Vision Zero law that raises the stakes for motorists who hit pedestrians or bicyclists.

Yes, a law that means you can get in trouble for hitting pedestrians and cyclists with your car is considered "controversial,"  which goes to show you just how fucking stupid people are.  "Gee, I dunno if somebuddy who runs me over should get in trubble," opines your typical idiot.

Anyway (and I can't take credit for this idea, I think some commenter on Streetsblog pointed it out), it's worth noting that in the relatively rare instances when the NYPD have applied the law, they've done so disproportionately to city bus drivers--which, if you're the cynical type, might lead you to suspect that maybe the police are trying to generate negative publicity for the law and undermine De Blasio and his whole "Vision Zero" program.  If so, it's certainly working:

But transit union officials and some City Council members argue that MTA bus drivers are unfairly being treated like criminals for accidents that happen even when they are not driving recklessly.

And not only has the transit union attempted to use this as the basis for a class war, but they also want to be exempt from the law altogether:

The union, Transport Workers Union Local 100, says the arrest on Friday of the driver, Francisco DeJesus, a veteran with the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, was uncalled-for; it has supported a proposed amendment in the City Council to exclude bus drivers from the law. The union created a hashtag — #LetsBePerfect — for its 10,000 bus operators, protesting that the mayor’s policy, Vision Zero, unreasonably demanded perfection.

DeJesus does make a good point, because nothing is more un-American than demanding perfection.  In fact, it's the driving force (pun intended) behind our automotive industry--just ask Bob Dylan!

No, here in America it's only acceptable to demand perfection from pedestrians and cyclists, because everything's always their fault:




Oh well, I'm off to watch some reckless bus driver porn.

Prefection is for commonists.

74 comments:

Hans said...

Podium?

Hans said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Podium!

Anonymous said...

since when is portland east of boulder? No Maine jokes.

Shawn said...

I'm not not licking frogs perfectly by the sea shore.

P. Bateman said...

top tennis.

GET SOME!

wait, is this throw back tuesday? because if i'm not mistaken, the BikeSNOBNYC is back to making fun of bikes?

Anonymous said...

Top tenski

le Correcteur said...

Top ten and read! I need those Accrue Accure Arcuce whatever wheels for my 10 speed!

grog said...

Nein
Scranus

P. Bateman said...

I was told there would be porn? this site is just a bunch of click bait whereas i'm looking for click masturbate.

bad boy of the north said...

in the first twenty...woohoo!
hey,is there a fred triangle in nyc?
waiting to get out of the subzero
temps....waiting and waiting and...

Jonh smith said...

No pudium for me today.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Why is Bedd Eggly on a trainer, outdoors, on a beautifuld sunny california day??

https://twitter.com/edbegleyjr/status/569579786793721856/photo/1

Anonymous said...

"Why is Bedd Eggly on a trainer, outdoors, on a beautifuld sunny california day?

Less chance of getting run over if you stay on a trainer.

Murray sez said...

I would pay $20,000 to have my face on the saddle of Babble.

Anonymous said...

Fred triangle actually goes the other way: east of boulder to portland.

babble on said...

Lol! Well now THAT's an interesting sponsorshop option. And who couldn't do with a hot dosh injection?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

"You live in in the bespoke artisanal handmade bicycle capital of the world, yet you paid $20,000 for a plastic Specialized. Isn't that like living in Tokyo and having pre-packaged sushi rolls flown in from a Safeway in Phoenix?"

I'd retweet that if I had a twatter. Probably too many characters though.

dockworker said...

fully Specialized engineered

That's actually Merida engineered. You have to wonder if Merida is building it or someone else.

I'm sure Sinyard will sue someone else very soon to stay in business since they add no value to what Merida is doing.

Anonymous said...

http://i.imgur.com/TkXhiiS.jpg

Dick Brakes!!!

babble on said...

Ha! Prefection indeed. I have a list of a dozen buses I have seen toot the horn, speed up, and run red lights here in Vancouver in the past two months alone. I guess the fact that they are exempt from paying tickets, and from demerits on their licenses makes it a no-brainer for them.

Nooooooo! Ai Weiwei what happened?! Much as I love shiny things, that bike is whatchacall a sellout. Damn. I hate seeing my heroes with all of their human frailty intact.

PotbellyJoe said...

"Basically What we did was take a plastic bike from China, painted it with papaya accents (McLaren's racing color) and then kept the really good parts out of our other bikes to make this specially painted one look better." ~Mr. Mike.

**Knock Knock**

I have to go. I've been sued for telling the truth.

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

Too cold to pode.

vsk

Put the Top Down said...

The babe selling the wheels; how is it that she has a top on, the standards in Snobville USA are falling fast.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

I AM GOING TO LOSE MY JOB BECAUSE OF THIS GOD DAMN BLOG!

Belching Beaver said...

A picture of Babble posing with her bike at Wreck Beach would selling for way north of $27,500.

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

For exclusivity I'll choose a gold plated Colnago for 1/2 the price. If I really want some papparazzi, I'll get a hold of one that would come with a legion of Swiss Guards chasing me! Like fogettabou!

vsk

jodphoto said...

Stupid assed comments. Ugly ass bikes. The Emperor's new clothes. You're the best, Snob.

ken e. said...

"ponderous, man, fucking ponderous..."

Bob Patterson said...

Just hold on there a sec, pardner. Fernley, NV is DEFINITELY NOT in the Fred triangle as shown. Try again.

Bob Patterson said...

I hear Lance's used hypodermic syringes will be going on ebay for $500 a pop.

Anonymous said...

VISP needs a copywriter. Hope they don't pay in bicycles.

crosspalms said...

They said it would be warmer today, so I rode to work. They lied. Or maybe their timing was off. Anyway, it took about half an hour for my toes to forgive me. It still felt good not to ride the bus. Hope McFly is OK, they're getting slapped around much worse than we are this time.

Anonymous said...

Portland is east of Boulder?

The Price of Rice said...

$27,500 gives "Made in China" a whole new meaning.

magellan said...

the other east?

J. Dahmer said...

I was mistaken ...

Re L. A. the right one is crabon fibre not the left one. Sorry for the misprint.

Anyone out there know where I can get a decent human* taco in Austin?

*US citizen meat. No illegal meat.

Comment deleted said...

The NYPD had better ticket that bus driver! He took out five firefighters! Crushed the head of one of 'em, it looks like.

Oh, will the carnage never cease?

My Ding-A-Ling said...

What a blogulation! And all I can think about is a squirrel slicin bike named for Ai Weiwie. A Weiwei. Yeah, a Weiwei. I got your Weiwei right here.

Freddie Fredrickson said...

TODAY'S REPORT FROM PLANET D. BYRNE ...

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2015/02/23/inspiration-nation-frozen-commute/23893555/

Chris PF said...

East of Boulder, BS! Updated the Fred Triangle for you: http://i.imgur.com/emRtS7n.jpg . Probably more Kazakhstan than you expected - I know Specialized has been super disappointed by their lack of sales to the Freds out there.

DB said...

Snob:
I believe the Fred Triangle needs to include the Palo Alto, Los Altos and Cupertino area, unless it's just given that they are included in the San Francisco area.
That place is thick with Freds.

leroy said...

Oh dear. It looks like I owe my dog an apology.

He really was at the Brooklyn Museum.

I had no idea they also had a liquor license.

Or karaoke.

1904 Cadardi said...

Please, please, please Mr. Snob. Please ask VISP for a loaner bike to review.

Yes, it's crap, yes it's heavy as hell, yes it looks like a random part selector barfed out the specs, but I'm sure you can find it's true inner beauty. It's a bike after all, how bad can it be?

dop said...

BSNY- you've been out to the East End. You were busy looking for your epi pen, or you would have been overwhelmed by the Freds. I was visiting friends in Sag Harbor, and I stood out because my bike cost less than 4k &I wasn't in full team kit. Some kind of satellite of the Fred triangle.

BamaPhred said...

Everybody pumped for Omloop Het Nieuwsblad and the cobbles? Run the VISP in that. Who knows, it only has to last till the finish line.

Jack said...

East of Boulder? Only if you go the long way around or its Portland ME.

JLRB said...


Of course the shop was "excited to be a part of the whole process" - they just took some idiot who is "a BIG FAN OF SPECIALIZED" and its run of the mill Tarmac geometry for a $20,000 ride. P.T. Barnum would be proud.

ps -I like how the Venge-Schmenge beik comes with the wheelie wheel like they have on dragsters... and don't try to tell me it is part of a bike stand, because if it doesn't have a wheelie wheel there is no way it is worth $20k.

Anonymous said...

Snob,

Noticed the mudguard on your mtb in yesterdays post.
This one mucho better:
http://www.sks-germany.com/?l=en&a=product&r=mudguards&i=11096&X-BLADE%2026+27,5

Anonymous said...

I can never forget Liggett referring to Raul Alcala as "The little Mexican".

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to check out some reckless bus driver porn, but now I'll spend the rest of the afternoon thinking about kinky boots.

JLRB said...

So on the near miss bus video: (1) why was duder using a dash cam; (1.5) sad how they didn't even react when the bus ran the light - just noted it as a usual event until the pedestrian issue; and (2) duder should have spared us by editting out the shantz talk before posting?

Frilly Chick said...

Wait a minute, shell out a shit ton of money and then he wants you to sit on his face.

Oh I've been on THAT date, "Hey Baby, I forgot my wallet, would you mind? And then maybe later you could, ummm, you know."

ken e. said...

bring new meaning to the phrase "go dutch" (no slur intended).

crosspalms said...

Frilly for COD

Platypus Dundeee said...

I had heard rumors about Liggett attempting to 'breed outside of his species.' The photographic proof is truly sickening and damning. But hey it's Aussieland where anything goes cause everyone there is hanging upside down down undah and the blood rushes to their heads and they act out.

Is the opposite of a Sheila a Heila?

Bryan Bracy said...

My moving here had nothing to do with the weather or my job. It was the triangle drawing me here. That reminds me, I need to replace the tin foil in my helmet.

JB said...

Anonymous @ 3:35 (re: better mudguard/fender):

Duly noted, but I don't think mudguards/fenders are really upgradable items. Kind of like can openers: you don't shop for one until your old one brakes [sic].

JLRB said...

If you go East long enough, you end up West.

Anonymous said...

And how will we deal with reckless robots?

This Shelley is our Skynet:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/11410261/Driverless-car-beats-racing-driver-for-first-time.html




Someone who has been to Argonia said...

I would bet a dollar that's the only UN-72 BB in Argonia. I'd bet a nickel it's the only one that's ever been there, new or otherwise. Hunnerdollars is still a lot though, scarcity or no.

clyde said...

Thank goodness you kept Corvallis OR out of the Fred triangle - we do not have ANY of those here!

McFly said...

I rode yesterday in the 20 degrees. Didn't die.....got some weird looks, though. My buddys Roubaix with BB30 makes this sweet ass crunching noise when he pedals. Its pretty new.

Regular guy said...

That Visp tri-spoke bike looks like something that Michael Ball had in mind when he was in that pissing match with Steve Hed (may he rest in peace)

P Sherwin said...

WOW! Of course I had heard the rumours that Liggett was into the Aussie furry mammalian/reptilian sexual domination sado role playing scene but actually viewing him in action, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

tubasti said...

Boulder seems angry that you've included it in the Fred Triangle. Boulder's always known it was better than Portland.

I wee-wee said...

I'm sorry, my English is not so good. Does east of Boulder mean Kansas or Nebraska?

Anonymous said...

Eat the corn out if my shit muthafuckas

El Gecko said...

Besides the VISP, Amazon customers also viewed this stinking hunk of horrible. 40-44 pounds??? No thanks.

http://www.amazon.com/Rockefeller-Black-Folding-Brakes-Suspension/dp/B00R9LY5OK/ref=pd_sim_sbs_sg_6/179-1727910-3137358?ie=UTF8&refRID=1ZKNC54NW1VMNV2SXX3S

Angry Beaver in Miramichi said...

Frilly Chick is back. Yeah!!!!

Frilly Tush, Frilly Tush, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah said...

Frilly Chick is back (not her tush though :-( ) Now all we need is for Road Queen to reappear.

db said...

Gah! So disappointed to see Boise just outside the Fred Triangle...

TonyF said...

For much higher quality reckless bus driver porn, please see:
http://youtu.be/MIpYLrozRpg

Peter Milton said...

Useful information shared. I am very happy to read this article. Thanks for giving us nice info. Fantastic walk through. I appreciate this post.carbon fiber wheelset