Tuesday, January 20, 2015

This Just In: I'm Going On Maternity Leave!


(The stork preparing to deliver a bundle of both joy and racism in Disney's dated and off-putting 1941 classic, "Dumbo.")

I am very pleased to report that over the holiday weekend our family welcomed a brand-new human child.  This means we now have eighteen (18) children, or two (2), depending on how you count.  This also means that I'll be exercising my contractually guaranteed right to maternity leave (the Blogger's Union fought long and hard for this), and will hereby be extending my absence to Monday, January 26th, at which point I'll resume regular updates.

That should be enough time to trade in the Big Dummy for a bakfiets:



Or else just a Canyonero.

In the meantime, thanks for indulging my absence (or, if you choose not to grant me indulgence, you know where you can stick your lack thereof), and I look forward to seeing you back here on the 26th.

Sincerently,


--Wildcat Rock Machine



213 comments:

1 – 200 of 213   Newer›   Newest»
Feodor Vassilyev said...

Mazel tov.

I hope mother and child are resting comfortable.

And you will find the parental work load from 1 to 2 goes up at least 4 times.

2 to 3, and you and the misses have to drop back into a zone.

More then 3, just give up and start drinking.

McFly said...

Where are my podium fluffers?

Anonymous said...

CONG RATS




POOD UMMM

Christopher James "Chris" Christie said...

"...eighteen (18) children, or two (2), depending on how you count."

There are 3 kinds on people in this world; those who can count and those who can't

wheelman61 said...

Snob
Congrats to mom and yourself. Looking forward to your return

dop said...

Congratulations. Will you call him/her martin/martine?

I think it goes one child changes your life, two makes you organized, three makes you wonder what the fuss was all about I never went to level three. Daddy made a trip to the vet.

Jon Webb said...

Alhamdulillah!

Anonymous said...

congratulations on your human child. Just as well it wasn't a velociraptor.!

bad boy of the north said...

congratulation to snob,ms.snob and to all the little snobbies.welcome to the world,little one.

bad boy of the north said...

oh....and in the first group.

samuel said...

ya know, when my kids were born I didn't take a brake from blogging. Of course I did take a break from the job that I had, so whatevs. Maybe now is a good time to add to your wealth by designing a line of BSNYC clothing for infants and toddlers. Maybe some pastel, gender neutral colorways.

bad boy of the north said...

if I see one more selfie stick on the brooklyn bridge,i'm going to...

Buffalo Bill said...

Congrats Mr Snob.

What, no cigars?

Anonymous said...

mazel tov!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Hey Congrats Old man!

No problem on the no cigars. I gave up burning the tobacco so I'll puff my nicotine vaporizer in the kid's honor.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations!
My daughter is pregnant and I'm getting schooled on how much things have changed in the raising-baby thing.
The stroller we used cost maybe 14$ and folded up like an umbrella. When the kid slumped over we stuffed towels around him/her to make him/her upright.
When they were cranky or when Mom and I wanted some alone time, we'd put them in the dryer.
Seemed to work just fine.
Good luck, happy for your and your Bride.
Best wishes.

JB said...

Enjoy!

A.J. said...

Congratulations, Snob!

Anonymous said...

No need to thank me. A short list of suggested names for the new Baby Snob:
Schwinn
Hipster
Beer
Curie
Erich
Snobette
Lance
White
Re-run
Brooklyn
Tour De
Ballast

Unknown said...

Mazel Tov and blessings to you all!!

babble on said...

Yay!! Contratulations, Mr and Mrs, and WELCOME, little tiny baby Snob! That's great news... enjoy your family time, Snobi Wan!

Didja get a present for the other seventeen kidlets "from the baby?" Mine had such a gap between 'em, it would have been silly, but they say it works a charm.

Bryan said...

Congrats to all! And isn't it paternity leave, not maternity? Well, either way in just a few short years you have another person to make caps and jerseys in your sweatshop...er, basement.

babble on said...

Oh! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!! Inquiring minds want to know! Baby boy, or baby girl, or are you going to do that whole (gak!!) Gender Reveal party in a few months time?

Anonymous said...

A few more names (if you did not like any on the last list):
Paris Roubaix
Maillot Jaune
L'alp D'huez
Cassette
Alley Cat
Engin
Green Way
Citi Bike

NJRoadie said...

Congrats! Tha pants yabbies work!

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...What everyone else said.

...this means you are one human child shy of having the status child.

...and you def need a backfeets now.

...matzaballs inshallah!!!

Joe K. said...

Congrats Snob. Enjoy every moment. My youngest just turned one and my oldest will be 7 next week. It's ridiculous how quickly the time goes.

I am not a robot, I have emotions and empathy.

Benjamin Chertoff Images said...

Congratulations!!!

Anonymous said...

OH! OH!!! BEST SNOB BABY NAME EVER!!!!

Sheldon Brown

Anonymous said...

How about "Not A. Snob" for the baby's name?

McFly said...

DB,
You SHOULD NOT put babies in the dryer.

FYI the bakefiets link has one nice Scandanavian MILF image on it.

It's something.

P. Bateman said...

Congrats to you sir.

Very surprising that after all the bikeen and all the sitting on your ass that you'd have any swimmers left.

well, good luck with all them there chi'dr'n. better you than me. i love them for about 30 minutes max and then immediately want to hand them back to their owners.

maybe i AM a robot and just dont have this human "emotion" like real people.


Spokey said...

congrats snobbie

i see many good names suggested.

but to honor the past, the new urchin's name must be Vito

Spokey said...

db

congrats to your daughter too. you find it is fun even if you find those car seats to now be hundreds of dollars more than you spent (if you actually had car seats) and impossible to work.

but what they say about doting grandparents is true. they are all fools. but they have their revenge. the first blow up thing that was large enough to take over princess' living room was great. like a ball pit. even better was buying several hundred extra balls for it.

just wait till the urchin get to Lego age.

Anonymous said...

We had a car seat, but it'd definitely be illegal now.
I recall my car seat growing up.... My Mom would slam on the brakes, fling her cigarette out the window and swing her arm across my chest to keep me from flying through the window.

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

Congratulations Mr. + Mrs. Snob!

I hope you got her a nice push present (as I've heard them described!).

Funny scene in Paddington Bear (don't ask me how I know this!) when the father to be brings the wife to the hospital to deliver and when he picks her up a couple of hours later. With kiddies, you will see this I'm sure.

Best of luck, I am going to use the subway that I do not own.

vsk

grog said...

So, you've been doing more than just pedling your biek, eh?
You'll be breastfeeding this one too?
BABY #TWO

The Robot Engineer said...

Congratulations.
The second child is easier in many ways because most of the experiences are old hat. However, no two children are alike, so you'll probably be in for some adventures.

Anonymous said...

The baby's name?

Vito and pretty good choice but I think Cleveland is better.

Grump said...

My first kid's car seat had a steering wheel and the only thing that held it in was a hook that fit under the back of the front seat.
Another week off?......I demand a refund.
Back in the day, It was the wimminz who took care of the new kid, and left the men-folk free to do what they want.

wishiwasmerckx said...

A heartfelt congratulations.

Perhaps you should take this opportunity to finally get around to changing your name from "Weiss" to the more inclusive and politically-correct "Schwartz," because black lives matter, too...

wishiwasmerckx said...

I wish that we could organize a series of guest-posts to while away the time, but that is difficult to do without imposing on our gracious and busy host.

Anonymous said...

How about Brooks for an name? Untermyer?

Anonymous said...

BMX?
Free Wheel?

balls™ said...

I'm thinking the best name for this kid would be "Pabst Budnitz Snobbers". Or, you could go with just one name and call him/her Bansky. Either would be fun, and you're not listening to me anyway! (who would, with a name like Balls?)

Anyway, congratulations and good luck making it through the next 4-6 weeks!

Anonymous said...

Good idea, WIWM
I am computer illiterate so I am out as guest blogger.
Perhaps one of you youngins can entertain us while Snob is painting the baby's bedroom?

JB said...

"Gender Reveal party" after the kid is born? Kill me now.

McFly: "It's something." When we something of interest in the wild, we'll say to the other, "Is that something?"

Bill Crowder said...

Congrats to your wife Snob. Another human child future Cat 5 competitor. Now get back to work so you can feed the kids.

Verona & Stevil said...

Some one should ask us to do a guest post here while Mr. Snob in busy elsewhere. We both write the same guest post at the same time.

JLRB said...

Woo hoo hoo!

Name choice is SO obvious - Fred.

Now that you have two children I am sorry to report that you will no longer be eligible for those awkward pauses in conversation when parents of multiple children ask how many brothers and sisters your child has - but you are now eligible to deliver that shocked response when someone else has only one child.

JLRB said...

Or Charlie

aka Jesus-Chuck

Snidely Whiplash aka Bill Belichick said...

Great News, Congratulations. There may be under inflated balls in New England, but obviously not in NYC.

Boy name: Rob in honor of you know who.
Girl name: Pope in honor of Babble.

gak!! Had a GF who made that sound sort of like that every once in a while, sometimes like a metronome.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations but only one week off? It is Australia Day on Monday 26th down here Canada's smelly socks, surely you will enjoy that public holiday as well?!

Don't want to give parental advice because apparently I am a shitty one for wanting to ride my bike too much.

GreySpoke said...

Congrats!

Anonymous said...

Anon 11:23.
Agree with Brooks, they are paying the parental leave aren't they? Read the fine print of your contractual agreement, you may have no choice! Is it a gender neutral name?

Name said...

The list of names is totally dorktastic!!

mikeweb said...

Confabulations Snob!!

And you're a better man than I: I would've taken at least 2 weeks off.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Crosspalms:
We should combine our REI credit dollars and get a baby gift.
Box of Clif Bars?

McFly said...

For us the second child was much less hassle because......well shit.....where is she at?

HUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYY HAVE YOU SEEN THAT OTHER ONE?"

Anonymous said...

Congrats on Arlo Thomas Weiss born January 18th, 7lbs 14oz.

"Mrs Snob" is a public facebook type

Tom said...

Big Congratulations!

Ours is 10 months old and we are back to 'hell no never again" after a very rewarding several months of "this isn't so bad maybe we could have a 2nd", which was of course preceded by parenting phase 1, being "what the fuck have we done?". Sincere best wishes! May there be many naps.

crosspalms said...

For the next few months, just call him/her Eric/Erica the Complainer. After he/she starts giving you a little peace a better name will probably come to mind. Congratulations! And let us know whether that Dick Tracy watch played any role.

DB, I like that idea.

Anonymous said...

Hey anonymous 12:12, that's kinda shitty and definitely creepy of you. Check yourself. Nice name though.

philadelphia bicycle journal said...

Mazel Tov. I hope you have created a Strava account for your child so it is old enough to start riding with you they can the youngest KOM.

dop said...

No naming the child Scranus. Jr High is hard enough as it is. Also, very limited choices when rhyming.

Septima Vector said...

7lbs 14oz

714 is a notable number in 20th century Americana. It is:
a. Career home runs hit by Babe Ruth.
b. Joe Friday’s badge number
c. Finally this.

Anonymous said...

I like Arlo.
Good name.
Sending it to my daughter for possible future use.

Anonymous said...

Congrats to mom!

Another kid means 5 more years of Snobby day care. Good for us! Two more years and I get to be a house husband too.

cycle

Anonymous said...

What name were you considering if baby was a female version?

dnk said...

Snob, well-wishes to you and family.

Now don't you worry about a thing while we trash the place in your absence....

Bike Junkie said...

Congrats on the new human!

gregario said...

Sheldon? Did no one see When Harry Met Sally?

More names:
Epic ("Ed" in Canada's scranus)
Allez ("Al" in Canada's scranus)
Roubaix "Ruby"

Middle names:
Shiv
Venge
Crux

And then start a bicycling blog. When Sinyard's lawyers sue you to Cease and Desist, only the child will be mentally scarred and the Specialized lawyer moves onto the next bicycle industry victim.

Seems like a good idea. Who's with me?

Twob Rake said...

Well done to all the Snob family.
Worth it to get that Canyonero video.

(Names: Eddy or Bilko)

ken e. said...

happy birthday! i did like cassette...

Anonymous said...

Typical union move to anounce a maternity leave after a three day weekend!

Anonymous said...

As gubner Walker said, "Molotov!"

Charlie said...

The name will be Mario (as in Cipo).

You will be a grandfather in no time.

Comment deleted said...

Yay! Smart people are reproducing!

hellbelly said...

Mazel Tov!

asantone said...

Congratulations on the birth of your child. Much happiness!

BamaPhred said...

I'll add my congratulations!

Tweed said...

Hmmmm with the extra time on my hands during lunch for the next week maybe i'll have wifey come up here for a nooner.

jodphoto said...

HEY SNOB.

CONGRATULATIONS ON THE NEW BABY. I'M RELIEVED TO HEAR YOUR SWIMMERS WEREN'T AFFECTED BY ALL THAT RIDING.

THEY ARE SAYING WOO HOO TOO.

JLRB said...

Does this mean you have to return the Dick Tracy watch?

ALL CAPS said...

all caps

Marcel Da Chump said...

Congratulations!

Anonymous said...

WoHoo!

Anonymous said...

Comment Deleted, 1:17.
COD

Anonymous said...

Nice work, where do you find the time?

Anonymous said...

You selfish son of a bitch. Don't you realize that we live on a dying planet with dwindling resources? oh, and congratulations.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful news!! Congratulations!! You must feel very Special(ized)!!

McFly said...

This is surreal, arsed the podium and made two more comments before I woke up.

RayG said...

Langster.

Then you can report first hand about getting sued by Specialized.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations to the Snobs! Here in America's hat (or more specifically, Canada's left-facing codpiece), Dadternity leave is 12 months. Don't get any ideas, though, or I will start ignoring the ads over there ->
All the best to the 20 of you.

97 said...

97

98 said...

98

99 said...

99

dop said...

century

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:11 best me to it... Molotov

Anonymous said...

congrats

Anonymous said...

Also, McFly@10:20. "You SHOULD NOT put babies in the dryer. "
Why not? Will they shrink?

Anonymous said...

oops, at 2:05. I meant "beat me..."

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

Wow, post century already!

vsk

Dave - Everywhere said...

Congrats to the Snob family!! Personally, I think "Randoneur" would be an awesome name - vaguely foreign with a touch of hipster savoir faire (as pronounced by the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz).

JLRB said...

Just remember Women also do most of the child care and household shopping

db said...

Congrats, Snob. Peace and good health to all involved.

JLRB said...

AND don't forget to go the diaper-free route

McFly said...

Na they will panic and shit all over yo towels.

CommieCanuck said...

Hey awesome..but no mention of boy or girl, brother or sister for L'il Eddy?
You really should consider naming the baby after me, or the very least, David Byrne.
On our second round, we had twins, ...just sayin', didn't want to out-Strava you on this, but just sayin', twins. This makes it 3:2 in overtime.
Tip:These will keep yer yabbies super-fertile.

JLRB said...

Least but never last, when will you start working on the status child?

Cyklist Stockholm said...

Maternity leave is great, having someone watching over the kid while daddy is riding!

Jed said...

That's wonderful news. Thanks for sharing your joy with us.

P. Bateman said...

since no one else has mentioned it.... i don't find Dumbo to be off putting or racist at all.

no more so than any given kevin hart movie.

and those crows are way funnier. and taller. SNAP. in yo' face kevin hart.

Anonymous said...

Biopace Rock Machine, what a beautiful name!

P. Bateman said...

also, might i suggest Paul Allen for your latest 2015 edition of human offspring?

Old-timer said...

Doh! I’m glad you didn’t call the little one “Old-timer”. I know you were probably tempted. And I’d have been flattered, of course! And, the moniker is not gender-specific. But still, it just wouldn’t be right, what with the child being so young and all. // Snobby, you’re a lucky guy!!! Abundant blessings on you and yours!!!

JLRB said...

I say we pitch in and buy one of these for the new edition

Unknown said...

De-lurking to say "congrats"!

Anonymous said...

Congrats, Snobbie. Your children will do to you what thousands of ottermobile drivers couldn't...knock you off your bike and make you fat like the rest of us.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

I say we all head over to Snobbie's house and check out the little cynic.

Spokey said...

JLRB

you gots to be kiddin

I don't little Vito in anything less than an F350.

Anonymous said...

Good luck with the sleep deprivation. Not that you were any more than semi-coherent before.

3G said...

Mazzzzzzzzel ToV!

Mike B. said...

Congratulations to you and mom.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Although I am not sure that anyone actually keeps such statistics, I am pretty sure that today set a record for speediest reach of the 100 comment mark.

Holy Roller said...

Blessed be! Praise the Lord! If the child be a male, then I hope you consider circumcision. If the child be a female, then I hope not so much so.

Dick Clipped said...

Ouch!

dop said...

you could call him, bambi

Freddy Murcks said...

Like Feodor Vassilyev said, 1+1 does not equal 2 when counting children. My condolences, WCRM.

w00hoo said...

Apparently there is an Indian proverb when it comes to children, 1 is 1, 2 is 11.

We stopped at 1, but every one of my uncles and aunts said if they'd had the second one first, they'd never have had 2.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! After two children, My wife and I decided that was enough. I became a fixie myself soon after.

McFly said...

Best $1700 I ever spent. I never went back for the follow up visit to Confirm Blank Rounds status. I just field tested it for 2 or 3 months of wet work.

Anonymous said...

scranutulation !

herzogone said...

Congrats!

Paul Anka said...



Having my baby
What a lovely way of sayin' how much you love me?
Having my baby
What a lovely way of sayin' what you're thinkin' of me?

I can see it
Face is glowin'
I can see in your eyes
I'm happy you know it

That you're having my baby
You're the woman I love and I love what it's doin' to ya
Having my baby
You're a woman in love and I love what's goin' through ya

The need inside you
I see it showin'
Whoa, the seed inside ya, baby, do you feel it growin'?
Are you happy you know it?

That you're having my baby
I'm a woman in love and I love what it's doin' to me
Having my baby
I'm a woman in love and I love what's goin' through me

Didn't have to keep it
Wouldn't put you through it
You could have swept it from you life
But you wouldn't do it, no, you wouldn't do it

And you're having my baby
I'm a woman in love and I love what it's doin' to me
Having my baby
I'm a woman in love and I love what's goin' through me

Having my baby
(Having my baby)
What a lovely way of sayin' how much you love me?
Having my baby
(Having my baby)
I'm a woman in love and I love what's goin' through me


Anonymous said...

Anonymous at 1:47 yesterday for co-COD.

JLRB said...

Spokey punked my idea of buying Snob a motorized kiddie SVU, so may I suggest everyone celebrate by buying a hat or jersey or book

I went with the urban wool murdered out version.

See McSee said...

“The truth about the world, he said, is that anything is possible. Had you not seen it all from birth and thereby bled it of its strangeness it would appear to you for what it is, a hat trick in a medicine show, a fevered dream, a trance bepopulate with chimeras having neither analogue nor precedent, an itinerant carnival, a migratory tentshow whose ultimate destination after many a pitch in many a mudded field is unspeakable and calamitous beyond reckoning.

The universe is no narrow thing and the order within it is not constrained by any latitude in its conception to repeat what exists in one part in any other part. Even in this world more things exist without our knowledge than with it and the order in creation which you see is that which you have put there, like a string in a maze, so that you shall not lose your way. For existence has its own order and that no man's mind can compass, that mind itself being but a fact among others.”

Olle Nilsson said...

Dude, you should totally get the Canyonero.

I mean, one kid = minivan, two's a Canyonero.

Congrats or something. The blog will become more erratic, you'll tell us to stop our whining and get a life followed by a link to today's post or the blogger's union contract. Oh happy days.

Robbie the Robot said...

1 + 1 = 10. Every robot knows that.

17 + 1 = 10010 but who's counting?

Suck it Right Wingers said...

I know because I won both of them

Anonymous said...

Having a child does not deserve congratulations, but raising one with love and guidance does and I wish you the best in that regard.

I will miss your daily dose, Rockcrusher. But as I grow older I'm becoming accustomed to being inconvenienced by other people's children.

Anonymous said...

Congrats for the little snob!

Twob Rake said...

An idea from Sheldon. (peace be upon him)

http://www.sheldonbrown.com/carrababy.html#disclaimer

The Candid Cyclist said...

But...Just Friday you said you would be back on Tuesday with "Regular Updates". Did this parenting condition sneak up on you? I want my money back...Thanks, for the full refund of $0.00.

OK, congrats.

Anonymous said...

Molotov!

Anonymous said...

chicken skin is nasty stuff

JLRB said...

$1.50 woo hoo hoo

Anonymous said...

does beikcycling deflate your balls?

Anonymous said...

SnobDad:
Please post address where we can send gifts.
Does Boy have a Titanium Litespeed tricycle yet? A Rapha onesie?
Let us know what you need. We're on it.

McFly said...

55* Americanus degrees and I do believe we are LBL bound for some after work fun ending with the torching off of the Nightrider 750 Luminumiumens Beacon of Seeing Things.

It's so nice I may just run the Bib Shorts Guy setup.

Field Marshal Douche'bagg said...

New Ukrainian manufactured bike ...

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=3ac_1421853428

Alberto said...

Congrats on the new pup.

Please do not deprive the unwashed ceramic wax lube stained slack jawed helmented crabon fibered masses of your 'snobules' of wisdom.

Huh! said...

Is it true that the child came into this world with several in utero tatts, a flannel shirt and that he/she looks just like the Porthole who stars in Portlandia?

dop said...

Please don't talk about Bib Shorts Guy....here in the Hudson Valley (America's River) it's 30 degrees & about to snow....FDWT (first day without tights) is a long way off

Spokey said...

JLRB @ 11:13 A

Spokey punked my idea of buying Snob a motorized kiddie SVU


Not at all! Just think you shouldn't settle for a wuss-mobile. At the least, a new snobbette should get an F650

JLRB said...

$70k for a pick 'um up truck?!? I am soooo out of touch.

JLRB said...

time to go beik around in the snooooow

crank said...

congrats!

Bennet Random Surf said...

Is it true that Baby Snob has already published his first book?

"Cycling Maintenance & the Zen of the prenatal doggie paddle while suspended in utero by the warm softly caressing Saline Sea"

Anonymous said...

Biekcycling has gives ball cancer.

Anonymous said...

May I suggest Allincat Bret if you haven't picked a baby name yet. Thus paying homage to the master of onstage scat, the retrofred from planet tridork, and daddy of course

Anonymous said...

But Yehuda Mars Unit is fine too if it's a girl.

David Pearce said...

Congratulations, Wildcat!

I see your Rock and Roll Machine must be working well. No firing blanks there!

I wish Lil' Wildcat a wonderful, wonderful life, free of Islamist Jihadism, salmoning bicyclists, bicycle thieves and those criminals who leave bicycles out in the weather to rust and rot.

I'm sure you will be spending your free time, should there be any, how to spread on just the right amount of Snarky Flavor icing on all the random subject cupcakes that magically appear in our lives.

Pearce

sir scranus said...

sir scranus

McFly said...

don't be so gullible

Unknown said...

Wasn't Arlo Thomas married to Donahue?

Anonymous said...

That Girl! This Scranus! Get the fuck on it. Too soon?

Shelly Silver said...

Soon to have lots of time on my hands; so I think I'll take up cycling, just don't leave your bike unlocked once I do.

dop said...

Is there such a thing as shraderdigitation?

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! The Mrs is agitating for a second now that our first is nearing 3. Looking forward to reading how you are coping with starting the whole process over.

Anonymous said...

Only one thing is more annoying than people talking about their babies and small children. ....

Triathletes talking about triathlon training and racing.

Not surprisingly people who get tattoos with of their children's names remind me of triathletes who get tri-tatts.

Triathletes don't deserve to be called athletes. What else can we call them though?

Triwannabeathletes?

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Anon 12 34
I know, my little one is on, y 24 1/2. The old lady still wants one.

The feeling never goes away for them. It can'tbe supressed with the aquisition of a good sturdy road machine.

JLRB said...

Keep the scranus side down

McFly said...

I just dropped enough cheddar on my auxillary child's travel soccer career to buy a nice 26" Santa Cruz Superlite frame. That's on the EBay. With not long left.

Which is now irrelevant.

dop said...

Tridork works for me. (I suggested Trifred, but it never took hold). Training? I try to work out 4x weekly with a swim, bike & run each week. (not many bike outings if it's icy) The 30 mile each-way commute that I do weekly in spring & summer are training runs in disguise. (past the corner of seaman & Cummings) I clear my work schedule for two weeks before a race, which is really a party. I can usually con some family members into forming a relay team & they're on the course, too. Give me a number on my shulder, a goody bag & a neon swim-cap & I'll gladly dodgev turds in the Hudson (America's River)

Yeah Cleveland! said...

Just wasting time and space...
Today's commute near miss involved an inner ring suburb police car turning into my path whilst turning right on red, even though it is clearly posted as illegal to do so. I half expected it so I was fully prepared to brake even though I had the light.

Fred Crabon said...

TriDouche'

Thor Hydrationthal said...

Almost 2015 Baby Seal Clubathon is almost here. Can hardly wait to hear that cranial thump when I make contact ...

https://www.google.com/search?q=club+baby+seals&biw=1053&bih=442&tbm=isch&imgil=vQgQNNXG2DihwM%253A%253BbIu6aWdybTTdpM%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fwww.sharenator.com%25252FSharenator_Fantasy_Football_1%25252F101810%25252Fclub_baby_seals-53193.html&source=iu&pf=m&fir=vQgQNNXG2DihwM%253A%252CbIu6aWdybTTdpM%252C_&usg=__a3d9coHEWNBDdPHBRAPleLRw3SU%3D&ved=0CCkQyjc&ei=dKrCVJqCF8K8ggS3tISoCg#imgdii=_&imgrc=vQgQNNXG2DihwM%253A%3BbIu6aWdybTTdpM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Ffiles.sharenator.com%252Fclub_baby_seals-s346x450-53193.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.sharenator.com%252FSharenator_Fantasy_Football_1%252F101810%252Fclub_baby_seals-53193.html%3B346%3B450

Anonymous said...

Clubbing Baby Seals. Sounds like a can't miss death metal band.

B. J. Squidward said...

$$$$I EARNED $900 AN HOUR*$$$$

Performing fellatio on drunken Sailors during Fleet Week.

For further details meet me at the intersection of Seaman and Cummings 9AM this Saturday. And remember 'Loose Lips Sink Ships.'

I AM NOT A ROBOT

Anonymous said...

TriDork is ok.

I.e. Dork x 3

I would like to see our bike snob lead the way in the reconciliation between Greg and Lance. This bitterness is destroying cycling. But not destroying careers.

Anonymous said...

Greg never took or did drugs! He has admitted to tasting 'the medicine' though.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Lemond admitted to using bee pollen when he was racing. Not sure if it was on the banned substances list, but I do know that the bees were pretty upset about it.

Buzz said...

I tried the bee pollen thing but I got hives.

Anonymous said...

Is it true that BSNYC's pup came out speaking French and is a David Byrne dead ringer??? Keeps repeating Qu'est-ce que c'est ...

caPt scrAnus said...

scranus

McFly said...

Child #2 keeps crop dusting the living room with UTF's......Upset Tummy Farts. Its so bad we started covering our drinks.

JLRB said...

Is he really coming back tomorrow? it's just like Christmas Eve - except the sleigh is a stroller, etc.

JLRB said...

Shaddup Scranuli

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JLRB said...

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Yeah Cleveland! said...

A ha. Top of the podium for the next century.

Why am here?

babble on said...

XX! Did it work? All quiet in Scranusville?

And Holy Carp, Batman! I hear New York will be muffled and quiet under a massive dump of snow this time tomorrow... ride safely out there, peeps, or better yet, maybe you can cocoon at home, snug and warm...

You know how much we miss you, right snobberdooderdoo? Even so, take er easy, and enjoy the magic, mmmkay?Sending peace and love to the whole Wildcat clan. xo xo

Anonymous said...

Nipples.

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