Friday, November 21, 2014

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz And Thanksgiving Recess Announcement!

Everybody knows that October 13th was Thanksgiving:


But did you know the holiday has an obscure counterpart down here in Canada's Taint?


("Here, enjoy some smallpox.")

Yep, it's true!  We've got our own Thanksgiving, commonly known as "American Thanksgiving."  The whole shitshow goes down on Thursday, November 27th this year, and that means I'M TAKING THE WEEK OFF, SUCKERS!


(Suckers.)

In other words, after today's post, I will not be posting again until Monday, December 1st, at which point I will resume regular updates.  So please mark your calendar:


(Holy shit, the puppy's driving a car!  How fucking cute is that?  I hope he doesn't crash into a tree and get decapitated when he goes flying through the windshield--though that would make a good image for January.)

And if you're wondering why I need a whole week off, it's because I'm planning an amphibious assault on the Walmart in Valley Stream for Black Friday, because the early bird gets the deeply-discounted Chinese goods, and the late bird gets trampled to death:


When it comes to giving thanks, Canada could learn a thing or two from us.

Of course, if you don't want to get trampled this Black Friday, you should just sit back and do all your holiday shopping from the safety of your computer:


You know what they say: if it's not a gift from the BSNYC/Walz Caps Collection, then it totally fucking sucks.

Also, I have coffee, because people love coffee, and I love people.

Meanwhile, here's a bit of good news for once from [stifles laughter] America's Most Bike-Friendly City:


Transportation Commissioner Polly Trottenberg says the Department's "Bikes on Bridges" campaign will look for ways city bridges can accommodate more bikes and boost safety.

The proposal will be announced at a City Council hearing Thursday afternoon.

Trottenberg said the study will focus on the 16 bridges connecting northern Manhattan and the Bronx. "That's one area where I really heard loud and clear people wanted to get improved cycling experience over the Harlem River," she said.

It's about time.  Over the past decade and a half they've lavished a tremendous amount of attention on the East River crossings, and it's getting to the point where they only way to improve them further would be to have volunteers throwing rose pedals in your path as you ride.  So I'm glad it's finally occurring to them to get around to the rest of the city.

And while we're on the subject of New York City bridges, let's all say Happy Birthday to the Verrazano Bridge, which turned 50 today:




Let's also remember that, 50 years later, you still can't walk or cycle over this bridge, so maybe one day they'll get around to changing that--after the Harlem River crossings of course, which are far more important.

Ahem.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right, well, that's just terrific, and if you're wrong you'll see incredible speed.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and Happy Thanksgiving.

I love you,


--Wildcat Rock Machine








(What a freaking nerd.)

1) The 21st century equivalent of "Schrödinger's cat" is "Bono's helment."

--True
--False






(Identifying yourself by airport code: the calling-card of the entry-level city.)

2) Portland, its cycling heyday far behind it, is giving up on bikes and moving on to:

--Cars
--Motorcycles
--Unicycles
--Skateboards







3) This new pedal harnesses the mediocre foot-retaining power of:

--Velcro
--Silicon-based adhesives
--Magnets
--Golden plates







4) "Helmetor" is:

--A vehicular-cycling superhero
--The name of the comet upon which the Philae landed
--The term for the party fitting the helment, as opposed to the "helmetee," who is the party receiving the helment
--A plastic hook thingy





5) What is this?

--A cycling-specific coffee filter
--A moisture-wicking brimless cycling cap for people with tiny heads
--A cat diaper
--A bag for your nuts






(David Byrne: The Janet Yellen of Gentrification)

6) David Byrne says everyone should move to:

--Philadelphia
--Detroit
--Minneapolis
--Des Moines





("The Biktrix Juggernaut must be stopped!")

7) What is a "Biktrix Juggernaut?"

--An electric fat bike
--A Lollapalooza-like tour featuring artistic cycling, BMX stunts, and the gravity-defying bicycle stylings of Danny MacAskill
--The media's term for the cultural phenomenon of young over-educated white people flocking to Des Moines
--The media's term for former New York City Department of Transportation Commissioner Janet Sadik-Khan



***Special Theft Prevention-Themed Bonus Video!***



176 comments:

Buffalo Bill said...

Podes?

Buffalo Bill said...

Whoa. That's a first.

Schisthead said...

Have fun getting stuffed.

Schisthead said...

TURKEYS!

JLRB said...

Top tennish

Anonymous said...

Two claws up!

JLRB said...

SO here is bad cycling news from Portland:

A cyclist I "know" from the interwebs got killed by a Fed-X truck - looks like a right cross:

http://bikeportland.org/2014/11/20/collision-involving-fedex-truck-kills-person-bike-nw-portland-113735 Really sucks - the man just retired and had plans for an epic retirement bike tour with his wife.

And in the same issue of Bike Portland Some twatwaffle made light of drivers running into bicyclists , because, you know, bad traffic makes you want to commit murder.

Spokey said...

at least i'm in or on the top tennis

samh said...

See ya' next month, Snob. Happy birthday, Canada.

Anonymous said...

10th ???

vsk

Spokey said...

woo-hoo

A++ today. perfect score

you know the bonus vid wasn't ny. that cage woulda been gone and in someones apartment inside (or onside?) of 30 minutes.

dop said...

12

d-o-p said...

Remember: It's the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge, not the Verrazano Narrows Bridge. The hyphen is indispensable. The body of water spanned by the....span.... is called simply, "The Narrows". There is no such body of water as the "Verrazano Narrows". It was discovered by Mr. V, who contrary to local myth, did not name the island at the western terminus of said bridge. (he looked at his chart, then at the shore, then back at the chart & asked the first mate, 'Stat an Island?)d-o-p

RANTWICK said...

Sorry, you have got to see my super cute dog in the snow.

Happy Thanksiving, 'mericans!

dop said...

have you ever had really good twatwaffle?

Stuart Rasmussen said...

When Des Moines builds a connecting trail to the High Tressle Trail, they will be quite the deal, Midwestern-biking-wise..

David said...

Didn't you mean "rose peddles?"

Spokey said...

d-o-p

that's all wrong

as we all know, that island has a heavy italian population. with that comes pizza, italian sauage, etc. With all that cholesterol, big pharma saw the gold mine it was to become and appropriately named it statin island.

Anonymous said...

rose pedals? Really?

cycle

Brandon said...

Sadly the East River Bridges are a completely half-assed job for cycling. Christie and Jay Streets are terrible but the most direct route from most places.

I can only hope the DOT does a better job on the Harlem River bridges before not touching them again for decades.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

100% on quiz. Yay rct!
Hey nice I share birthdays with some bridge somewhere. The bridge has got six years on me but I have way less gum spots and bird poop on my surface.

This year I give thanks for my recumbent bike. And so does my scranus.

See you after the break Wildcat Turkey Machine.

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

JLRB, sorry, sad to hear.

I did not thank Mr. Snob properly enough when in person at the Philly thing. This a great forum here and like all the internet rabble etc. I even bought a Knog Light. It may be fully attributable to my Snob reading.

The VZ Bridge would make for an explosion of strava stuff I'm sure.
1 mile of climb and 1 mile of descent (they'd definitely put stairs at each end or at least a Bocci court on the S.I. side!) would definitely make good fodder for KOM/QOM and King of Descents or something.
My little Specialized Speed Zone thingy would go from 20 mph to 30 mph to "slow the fuck down you know you can't stop!".
Would definitely be able to take great pictures.

You can have Incidents or Instances, you can't have Incidences.

And don't AXE me any more questions, excedra excedra.



vsk

benDE said...

Dorothy Rabinowitz - How did I miss this skank of a woman? Can I say skank even though she is 107? I bet she was just as skanky at 22.

but you have to go to the WSJ to see said skank or possibly a nursing home.

Have a shitty weekend you skanks!!

Comment deleted said...

Thanks for another great year of columns, Snob. Enjoy your aircraft-grade turkey.

call me Al said...

there were incidents and accidents...hints and allegations

CommieCanuck said...

There are Canadians that head for the US to do Black Friday shopping, we have a quaint colloquial term for them: fucking idiots.
Next time someone calls you that, shout back, "hey, did you know that was Canadian?"

Also, we don't fry turkeys, that shit is disgusting.

grog said...

TURK RIDE
PUPY HEAD
MORE BABE
RIDE NICE

JB said...

Where did you get that freaking calendar image? The dog's name Toonces?

CommieCanuck said...

Let's see, one full week, let's take bets of the number of additional women will come forth with rape charges against "Mr. Pudding Pop".

I have dibs on three.

Also, Snob, this blog has no clear sexual harassment policy. tsk.

crosspalms said...

My Kickstarter campaign is to raise $250 for that puppy, just in case. But maybe puppies are better drivers than people are.

Happy Thanksgiving, Snob, and to all the rest of you, too!

benDE said...

CC

5 Years ago I flew back to the US on Thankgiving as a family member was in the ICU. The jetlag had me wondering around commercial areas of Rochester Minnesota in the middle of the night. at one a.m. on Friday I encountered people sleeping outside a Best Buy. When I asked them what what they were doing they looked at me like I was a fucking idiot. So I guess it's all perpective... From my perspective they were indeed fucking idiots.

benDE said...

wAndering . . . .FUCK!!

JB said...

I will purchase something for 25% more, if I don't have to stand in[on] line. Thus, I don't make a good BLACK FRIDAY!!! WOOT!! YOLO!! STUFF!!! candidate.

Hee Haw the Barista said...

But I'm from Des Moines!

Now I have to move back?

brother yam said...

and I love people

Liar.

Anonymous said...

I take exception to the answer choices for question #3. The MagLock pedal harnesses the mediocre foot-retaining power of Mormonism (and some shitty magnets).



who arylici

Matt said...

Be glad your entry-level city isn't Sioux City where your t-shirt would say SUX. But at least you'd be closer to DSM, er, Des Moines, hipster capital of Central Iowa.

Anonymous said...

So ive had 2 very near misses in the last few months. Both times just happen to have been fedex trucks. One incident, the driver aimed his tractor trailor at me and gunned it, forcing me off the road into a ditch. Yesterday i was right hooked by a fedex delivery truck. What the hell is up with fedex? Do they even require a CDL any more?

dnk said...

CommieCanuck,

It was actually Jian Ghomeshi who paved the way for the Mr. Pudding Pop scandal.

Verily, Jian Ghomeshi was John the Baptist to Cosby's Christ.

Or is that Ghomeshi's Saul to Cosby's David? I seem to recall that the latter behaved rather criminally in the Bathsheba affair....

Anonymous said...

DEEZ NUTS!

Bama Phred said...

I thought the early bird got trampled by the stampede. Enjoy your Thanksgiving off-fucking.
Let the death spiral of commenting begin.

JB said...

What does the I ____ PDX shirt decode to?

I do endos for Portland?

DB said...

Praise Lob!
The holiday balls of light have been untangled, they still light up and are wrapped around the deck.
I know it's early, but as everyone from the middle rectangle states know, you do it when it's kinda warm and this is the warmest day in a week and a half.
The Polar Vortex is sliding back north where it belongs.
I am now headed downtown to celebrate the Nouveau harvest of bad Midwestern bourdeau. I, of course, will not be drinking that swill, but will partake in a nice little Shiraz Barossa from Australia.
Snob: I don't think those were rose petals in the East River when I swam this summer. Don't know exactly what they were, but the Ciprofloxicin took care of it.

balls™ said...

You... love people?

Who are you, and what did you do with WCRM?!?!?

JLRB said...

ANON @ 1:33 -

Same here - had a FEDX delivery truck one lurch out of a parking spot at me 2 days ago; he stopped short of hitting me then gunned it after me when I passed.

I'll trade another day between on-line ordering and delivery if they will stop killing people to make delivery times. Where do I sign?

Until that deal is inked, I now place FEDX vehicles up there with taxis, limos and garbage trucks - high alert when they are near.

wishiwasmerckx said...

I usually avoid posting personal stories here, choosing to post awful attempts at humor instead.

Well, this morning I was riding a mixed-use pathway where I ride regularly. I came upon a fellow walking whom I have encountered dozens of times without incident. We have at times even exchanged pleasantries.

Today he was with a buddy and an unleashed dog. They were walking two abreast taking up the whole path as I approached from the front. You can guess the rest.

I slowed; he refused to yield. Not expecting trouble, I was unable to clip out and wound up in a soft landing in the grass.

Threats and unpleasantries were exchanged, then we both went on our way, leaving me mystified as to why this encounter had gone south so badly and so rapidly.

Anonymous said...

Dorothy R, Dottie to the boys in the WSJ Men's Room, sez Bono's accident would never have happened if Central Park had been closed so the park could have been a six mile velodrome for his personal use. Dottie goes on to say that the wealthy deserve ginormous tax cuts because they are "different from the groveling masses" and that they are deserving of receiving head from a kneeling position. She should know, she works for RM.

RoadQueen said...

Rantwick - LOVE the video of your dog! He's just cuter than pigtails. :)

Also, I have an announcement to make:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RCT!!!!!

Here's to many more! XOXOXOXOXO

Anonymous said...

Thanksgiving north of the NSA Border, what is the national dish? I think a Beaver appears on at least one Canadian coin. Is it BEAVER? If yes, does it have to be heated first?

JB said...

The best beaver is self-heating, if you know what I mean, and I know that you do.

Angry Beaver in Miramichi said...

CC@255 Yesterday: Greyhound, facing bankruptcy a few years ago, tore out all of the toilets. Now the passenger side rear window slides open.

JLRB said...

"so sad about his passing and sad that the first line in KPTV’s “newscast” this am stated that he was “on a recumbent without a flashing light or apparent flag making him difficult to see”. Always blame it on the cyclist…"

Even if you are wearing a helment they will blame you for your tragic end somehow. You have lights? They should have been flashing. You have a big gigantic body sock on you bent? Should have had a flag.

Blow me indeed.

Anonymous said...

This is Precious Roy, you guys are suckers!

leroy said...

Thanksgiving a lot for nothing, Mr. BSNYC.

I hope you can explain to my dog why it's not cute that he bought a monster truck on Craigslist.

Even if it does have room for his friends.

And even if it's the only way to "ride safe all" for Thanksgiving.

And now I'm off to get the supplies for my dog's Thanksgiving Day Philadelphia Kennel Club National Dog Show viewing party.

12 bags Cheetos, 12 bags nachos, 4cans bean dip, 1 case puligny-montrachet(any vintage other than '94 or '03), 1 can air freshener....

Titless in Seattle said...

Not a tit to be seen on the SNOBVILLEUSA blog in ages. Have the people who run the Al Gore invention issued a cease and desist order?

bieks said...

Identifying yourself by airport code

Pfft, losers.

Happy American Thanksgiving from YVR!!!

PS - It's the Thanksgiving miracle: Snobby loves people! Hope that doesn't mean soylent green people.

dnk said...

Is Leroy's dog a poodle? Or did his barnyard fowl friends post a poodle picture to his profile as a gag?

Regular guy said...

All my life I've just felt uncomfortable, regardless of the situation, time of day, whether I'm sitting, standing, laying down.

Now I know its because I'm around a scrotum ALL THE TIME!

Anonymous said...

A google news search for "fedex cyclist" yielded a startling number of incidents and deaths. Next time i ship something, its gonna be ups or something...

Anonymous said...

Do those golden plates come with a magic helment I can look into to see what happens to the PDX cyclist after he caught his wheel in the MAX tracks?

Snob, do you control the robot weeder-outer? "Francis BJ U state" doesn't seem so random as the holidays approach.

NHcycler said...

WCRM,

Awwww, we love you, too! And thanks for learning me that Staten Island is Richmond Borough. That'll impress my NYC born'n'bred Dad.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a good Black Friday...

Spokey said...

leroy

don't mean to be overly critical here but perhaps you should re-think about the bean dip

Telegram Sam said...

a while ago they went to having all their drivers be independent contractors rather than paid employees. They're paid on commission, by the package, so the incentive is obviously to get where they're going as fast as possible, by any means necessary, and FedEx doesn't have to pick up the tab if they cream a cyclist or ped.

Spokey said...

ts

i think you'll find (or they will find) that that doesn't protect them. remember it's really up to a jury once the bottom feeder, i mean counselor, names 1/2 the world population in the lawsuit.

Anonymous said...

I had to lay it down once to avoid t-boning a FedEx truck that failed to even slow down for the stop sign it ignored.

Driver was scared shiitless, as I was hopping around like an angry gorilla until I calmed down. No harm done, we went on our merry ways.

Not two weeks later I found out that an old co-worker of mine had just been fired from FedEx for one to many accident reports/driver complaints. She backed into a dumpster. 3 strikes and out.

So, if you want to get back at them, get their driver's number, I'm sure they are all an infraction away from unemployment.

Anonymous said...

“the truck turned into the path of the bicyclist causing them to collide.”

"The truck turned into the path." Then the wording says "causing them to collide."

Doesn't seem like there is a "them" involed. How about "hitting Mr. Johnson."

DB said...

Leroy:
If we were in town over American Thanksgiving, our "fixie" dog would like to join your dogs party.
She is thinking of having her own party for the neighborhood dogs sans bean dip.

Anonymous said...

Sweet. I'm gonna make lots o' funny custom tombstones now.

Marsu Pilamus said...

Monsieur le Snob,

So you have coffee because people love coffee and you love people. Following this remarkable logic, a (semi) professional bike blogger should have come up with condoms, because people love to ride. "Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo", etc.

dop said...

wildcat is just a big lump of sugar

David Pearce said...

That stupid Wildcat Rock Machine.

Weenie not going to be posting during American Thanksgiving week.

And what are we supposed to do??

Fuck, I'll feel about as nuts as the last two weeks in August, when my shrink goes out to his Hamptons place, and forgets, yet again, I might add, to refill my fucking prescription before he escapes from NYC.

I hope your breast meat is as dry as 120 grit sandpaper, you get sat at the kids table, and right next to you is Uncle Morty, and I hope he keeps his bony fingers clamped around your forearm all night, while he regales you how your cousin is doing SO MUCH BETTER than you.

Well, Happy Thanksgiving anyway. Pretty much.

semi serious cyclist said...

Schroedinger's cat meets Bono's helmet, and out popped Lucas Brunelle in a rainstorm, pedaling furiously like Albert Hoffman.


Gorging on birds will offer no succor.

DB said...

Crosspalms:
You weren't riding Lake Shore Drive and Belmont at 3 am, were you?
Hope that wasn't you.

bad boy of the north said...

happy turkey week to all.be safe,not sorry.

babble on said...

Ha! Yeah, I can just imagine a million bike cages hanging off of buildings all across North America... the stratas are just going to love that. And what happens when there is a bike cage hanging below your bike? What happens when all of those cables get tangled up?

Um, and I'm sorry, Snobberdipsydoodle, but I don't actually believe you picked all of those beans. You prolly just send yer 17 little mini-wildcats out to those shady plantations once they're finished at the iphone factory.

Yikes, buildings exploding in London, collapsing in Japan, and straining under the weight of snow in Buffalo... I am quite thankful to have a safe roof over my head.

Enjoy your break, Snobi Wan. You deserve it. Just know we'll miss you.

Rantwick - OMG cute!!
RCT -Happy birthday! XX
Commie - Right?! Uber gross. And I've been quaintly, colloquially so accused at times. A driver did it just the other day, in fact, but that was definitely a pot calling the kettle sort of situation. Sad how often THAT's the case.

Heh heh. The death spiral of commenting indeed... you've gotta love this place I am giving thanking for this, too! :D

Well, time to do a little off fucking of my own.

Spokey said...

congrats babs on the 3/4 century. better you than that leroy miscreant (although he'll probably be advised by the mutt to claim 3/4 + 1).

one good thing about getting older is that we no longer have to do thanksgiving, christmas etc. we get to go to kid's houses. still gonna make some cranberry / cherry relish and a cheesecake but that stuff is easy.

did get my free holiday tofurky this week. not sure when i'll roast that one though with no company. spousy won't eat that shit.

but happy thanksG to everyone even youse all in the lesser white norta.

Bama Phred said...

Good Grief
Hats,, coffee, books, jerseys, hawking for Brooks and Rivendell, on and on.
Let me introduce the newest BSNYC product.
The Woo Hoo hoo speed condom.
Black and orange to coordinate with the rest of your kit.
As with all things Fredly, Woo Hoo speed, if you what I mean, and I think you do.

babble on said...

Eeew tofurkey. Are you vegan, Spokester? That's super cool, but a nutbird would be better for you, since soy messes with yer hormones. It acts like an estrogen mimic with a compound called isoflavones... once in a while it is ok, but eating it regularly won't do your body good. Plenty of tree-nuts, on the other hand, do.

Freddy Murcks said...

Easy there, David Pearce @ November 21, 2014 at 10:28 PM. Remember that this is basically a volunteer gig for Mr. Weiss. He can go on vacation whenever the fuck he wants. And unlike your shrink who is paid for his services and is bound by ethical rules and a basic standard of care, Snob has no such obligations.

Spokey said...

no vegan here

love me mouldy cheeses too much.

best i can tell the jury is still out on those phytoestrogens. seems like they might protect against breast cancer, prostate cancer and some other stuff i can't remember. but maybe not. and maybe increases risk of uterine cancer. but maybe not. maybe help with cholesterol. or not.

anyway, i get plenty of tree nuts. probably more than i should give the energy density. course there's risk there too i suppose. brazil nuts, which i like, along with bananas are among the most radioactive foods around. but then again, they are high in potassium-40 and i have to take prescription potassium so maybe that's ok.

best i can tell, you try to pay attention and do the best you can. tomorrow the science will be saying something different.

but i like those tofurkey roasts (not the tofu turkey though). only get it once or twice a year around this time. unfortunately no one else around here will eat it. i can usually count on my brother (vegetarian) and little peaches (also a vegie) but neither are around this thanksgiving. airline prices were too high for peaches to fly in from portlandia this year.

Go Pards said...

Lafayette 27

Lehigh 7

Happy 150th meeting

Spokey said...

twas a pretty good day for petalling in the hemorrhoids. Only required 17 layers (lucky that matched one from each of snobbie's kids despite their howling). even got up to 55 'merican by the time i was done.

leroy said...

Dear Mr. dnk -- My dog is a Brooklyn Schnorrer, although some have suggested he's a bulldog/shih tzu mix.

Dear Mr. DB -- your dog would certainly be welcome at the dog show viewing party, but be forewarned, my dog and his buddies like to turn down the volume and take turns pretending they're Joan Rivers critiquing red carpet appearances.

Dear Mr, Spokey -- Nothing I can do about the bean dip. Each year, my dog bets me he can pick the winners in the various categories and best in show. The loser has to foot the bill for next year's party and requested snacks. It's uncanny how my dog never loses. It's almost as if the show were pre-recorded.

Palestineative Care? said...

Do Jews even do Thanksgiving turkey thing? I know they don't do pulled pork or the Gaza Strip loin.

David Pearce said...

Dear Mr. Murcks @ November 23, 2014 at 10:39 AM,, and the rest of you gang,

I see that "When the Wildcat's away, the Rats will play," as they say.

Since Mr. Rock Machine has decided NOT to favor us with his received wisdom during American Thanksgiving week, I take it upon myself to vent my spleen about Thanksgiving week in the dead and dying comments section.

To wit, "Black Friday". I think it only fair that the Blacks are allowed to go first for Christmas shopping, as a small mea culpa I guess for all the trouble and inconvenience you may have put them through with that whole slavery thing.

Okay then, I suppose the Whites shop on Saturday, which I guess is fine. Noblesse Oblige & all that.

Of course, no one shops on Sundays, because we have to go to church and pray to be forgiven of our sins.

Monday is called Cyber-Monday, so all the geeks and the coders can get their gifts.

My question is, when do the Jews get to go? If you're a Hebrew, like myself, you have to wait until Tuesday to shop??

Or maybe even longer? Who has priority [like an old film camera, shutter or aperture], the Jews or the Gays? I know Daniel Carver, member of the KKK from Stone Mountain, Georgia, and frequent guest on the Howard Stern Show, ranks Jews below Fags on the totem pole of life. The fags are at least human, just misguided and sinful, but the Jews are the spawn of the Devil.

I KNOW, I accept that I am inferior and don't deserve equal status, but I still want to know when I'm allowed to shop in the stores at this neighborly time of year.

BTW, Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

McFly said...

Nothing like replacing your MTB Bottom Bracket only to possible find it was a brake cable housing smacking the frame that was the click culprit. No biggie. I like playing around with a Beefy BB on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

McFly said...

*possibly.

How could I have possible made a typo?

McFly said...

*possibly

dop said...

sort of like a surgeon taking out that pesky uterus, when the bleeding was just a hemorrhoid. At least he can laugh at his mistake

Anonymous said...

Yes, like my living room queen SLX Paramount with the C Rekkid.

I gotta adjust my front derailleur, not quite doing it for the big ring. Adjust a little more, ... adjust a little more...

Wobble wobble, hey my right side crank arm bolt loosened up. How bout that.
Tighten the bolt. Drop the chain outside. Fix the limiter.

Still have a piece of cardboard under the tube where the rim strip ripped.

And just so this post is categorized in the right bloggy blog...

Scranus!!

vsk

MrDan said...

Snob, we'll miss you over the break. I hope you and your multitudinous offspring enjoy flushing, greasing, and re-packing thanksgiving foods this week (now that I re-read that, maybe not in that order).

We'll see you again Monday with the rest of the working stiffs.

J Holmes said...

Leave my stiff out of this

Bama Phred said...

Phoning it in this week, but I pretty much do that every week.

I hear the BSNYC prophylactic "The Helmemt" services beefy bottom brackets quite nicely.

Try the knobby Gatorskin for maximum stimulation, puncture resistance, and long wear.

Bama Phred said...

The Helment.

Scranus

JLRB said...

Spokey - Get your nuts out of the tree.

dop said...

Babs in Daily Kos

It started with someone writing about "Derrick Jetter"

Anonymous said...

Bill Cosby is gradually becoming the Lance Armstrong of comedy.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Oh, for goodness sake...

dop said...

or the lance alworth

dop said...

century

wishiwasmerckx said...

...this is like taking candy from a baby...

wishiwasmerckx said...

...oops, and 102th!

dop said...

celebrating too soon?

Spokey said...

congrats dop

get a grip wiwm

but i'm glad to give up the century today. toodling around here in the hemorrhoids in 70+ merican degrees. yeah they're cheaper than canuck degrees but 70 of 'em is pleasant stuff.

dop said...

I meant Lance Rentzel, aka keep it in your pants, Lance

I always mixed him up with Lance Alworth....some say his parents named Lance after Mr. Rentzel

DB said...

Day One of Snob Withdrawl.
A long swim powered by last nights' burritos. Luckily, had pool to myself.
Burrito gas + chlorine made for epic window foggage.
Drove to work in early season snow storm. Tucked in behind state plow. Slow, but safe.
Pulled into liquor store for American Thanksgiving alcohol. I was second customer. Podium.
Another two and a half hours of work then back into my wife's loving arms, holding the snow shovel for me to clear the driveway.
Happy Monday, All.

Nuttin 2 Sey said...

well scratch my tree nuts

caPt scrAnus said...

scranus

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babble on said...

Thank you, dop! My dad always reminded me that it's a noble heart that roots for the underdog... :D

Dunno about rooting for the daft, though. I thought I had won the Tuesday night crit the week before my crash last June, but there was still a lap to go. Celebrating too soon, indeed! All of those bells were just too confusing for this small brain.

Strong like bull, smart like tractor.

Jasayin said...

Strong like bull, smart like tractor, suck golf ball through garden hose.

DB said...

Day Two: Snob Withdrawl
Family arriving tomorrow afternoon for American Thanksgiving two day visit.
Wife promised me marital relations tonight before they get here.
Trying to focus and stay busy to get through day.

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McFly said...

Stuff that turkey DB.

babble on said...

DB - remind her that plenty of marital relations slows the process of aging. It might benefit you if she understood that it's practically the fountain of youth.

You might need a whole carton of Snobi Wan's special rubberized healment covers come Christmas.

DB said...

Thanks, McFly.
Hope you get into the cherry pie this weekend.
Wait. Is it in or on the cherry pie?

DB said...

And Thank You Ms. Babble.

McFly said...

Both. Just no chocolate pie.

caPt scrAnus said...

scranus

balls™ said...

Non sequitur. Innuendo. Lady parts.


I think this is phone it in week, right?

Anonymous said...

Pretty innuendo judgy for a guy named balls.

Bama Phred said...

SquirlBiz sez, "Deez Nutz".

JLRB said...

kickstarter; traffic bullshit; new bikesnob ball sac with scarnus seal of disapproval; helment; no helment; beiking's better in other countries; find a narrows bridge and ... , etc.

Anonymous said...

Pretty judgy for a guy named Anonymous.

JLRB said...

And of course, legislation that would make it easier to collect damages from drivers who hit pedestrians and cyclists did not make it through DC Council (although in fairness - whatever that is - it looks like the proposal had some problems)

dop said...

Today I saw a woman in an American Flag Hajib...it looked like the most natural thing in the world

JLRB said...

This just in Accidents are usually Bicyclist's fault

It must be true because a University did a study


(((cough ** bullshit *** cough))))

Spokey said...

well that makes me feel safe

given that I have never run a right light and almost never failed to come to a full stop at a stop sign I need not worry about those pickups yelling at me to getinnadeech or those honda odessey's (even worse than the beemers) buzzing me, turning in front of me etc.

I didn't see (or didn't notice) what percentage of accidents resulted in nothing to see here move along. Perhaps there is a bias towards not finding fault unless the cyclist isn't wearing a healment.


robot only knows of 1 of 821 accidents where an air spear cyclist was at fault

Spokey said...

oh and by the bye

Spokey said...

130 podi

dop said...

JLRB-

every time you cough, an angel checks you for a hernia

McFly said...

As an embalmer removes the blood from a corpse, the landscape is drained of its autumn colour. Spring seems inconceivable and we’ve not yet reached the frost-spangled glamour of midwinter. November promises little and delivers less. ~~ Jack Thurston

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

So I guess the eBola thing is over now?

I'm glad too since these stupid trains are too packed.

vsk

DB said...

Snob Withdrawl: Day Three
Feeling good.
My wife was good to me last night.
Doing a full day's work in a half day then driving an hour to pick up 89 year old father for the weekend.
Going to double bag him with Depends so he doesn't leak in the car.

Anonymous said...

Regale us with tails of marital relations. A Slaying the Beaver, if you will.

dop said...

here in nyc, the streets are aglitter with the first sleetof the year

JLRB said...


Big fluffy white flakes falling from the sky here, trying to whitewash the bullshit that is (some of)your Nation's Capital.

dop said...

read the jack Thurston quote to the family at dinner...a fight broke out over simile vs. metaphor


we're ready for thanksgiving

babble on said...

Lol! You guys are awesome... I love this place. :)

Embalmed with Jack said...

That bitch - why'd I have to go meet her for

Smile

babble on said...

Just want to wish y'all a Happy Thanksgiving!! :D xo xo

Bama Phred said...

Happy Thanksgiving. Find a turkey and get the f#%k in it!

McFly said...

We are doing a buffet at 12 cuz no one wants to cook. Parties of 20+ get their own lil' room and mini-buffet. Which is nice. It means we don't have to wait on line.

DB said...

Snob Withdrawl, Day Four
So.......Much.......Food.
Watching Dog Show. Nap afterwards.
Thanks for the laughs this year.

babble on said...

Bama - or get on it?

Bama Phred said...

That too, Babs!

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Spokey said...

hope everyone had a good thanksgiving.

princess did a good job. kept her family in one room watching eagles and hubbie's fam in another watching cowboys. Me? mostly in the kitchen yapping and quaffing 'lil sis' homemade bailey's. no turnkey but did enjoy son-in-law's mom's stuffing until i found it had piggly-wiggly sausage in it.

hope youse all had as good a time as i did.

babble on said...

Adbusters declared this "Buy Nothing Day" some time ago. Yeah, sure. THAT's really taking off... :-\

Spokey said...

I'm guilty myself. Plan to go to Lowe's to buy a drain plug for the basement sink to replace the one that broke this morning. Might also buy plastic coated 'J' hooks. Hoping crazy shoppers aren't going to lowes.

ken e. said...

buy nothing day (original idea by ted dave) is more about rampant consumerism and less about regular purchases, ie: plumbing hardware. just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

Sheeeit, as Clay Davis used to say on The Wire, just missed being #150.

Anonymous said...

Has this blog been suspended for doping?

No tit posted in months either.

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Captain Oblivious said...

Maam;

I am not aware that any commenter on this blog wears suspenders.

Captain Oblivious said...

But we sure do have our share of dopes.

babble on said...

Guilty as charged.

McFly said...

I bought a plate of baby back ribs from The Hungry Wolf today. It's so good you will drive to your mom's and smack her on the mouth. SHOP LOCAL. Then fart.

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Spokey said...

hmm

17 merican in the hemorrhoids today. can i buy a few of those canadian centipede degrees?

mayhaps time for the tour de basement. if only it weren't so boring

Spokey said...

mcfly

ugggh

baby piggly wiggly. i would never smack mom for piggly wiggly. 'sides. would have to dig her up first.

Guy With An Old Bike With An Oddly Linked Chain And A Coaster Brake said...

I have this very old bike with an oddly linked chain and coaster brake. The rear sprocket has a slot cut into it so one does not have to remove said sprocket to change a broken spoke. I like that.

Bama Phred said...

Please Deity of your choice, no more football and company. Like fish, it all smells after three days.

JLRB said...

It seems drivers have a case of the runs

(Happy post-turkey, black Friday, shop local, pre-consumerism, post-consumerism, etc.)

Spokey said...

thanks for the depression JLRB. you really took my irish cream buzz off

i really hope that rideye camera gets going. i've got to get something like that.

bad boy of the north said...

Hopefully,everyone had a nice Turkey Day.

Billy Fehr said...

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Billy Fehr said...

Double Down the Movie-223miles!

BFD said...

Hey Billy - Uh, wtf is with the calf pic? yawn

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

Mondaium !!

Hey happy medium sized cyber Monday!
Welcome back, nice number of American degreezes outside. Thanks Global Warming!

On Sunday had fun at the Kissena Park Velodrome with nice folks riding round the place with classic track bikes.
Rode in to work today. Gorgeous!

Maybe sprinkles later but that's fine.

Happy Monday!

vsk

Bryan said...

Hello friends! I'm baaaaack. Was hoping to have a bunch of posts to read up on, but, well, unsurprisingly I am disappointed. Okay, not really, just busting Snob's butt a bit cause it's fun to do that over the internet sitting safe behind my keyboard.
I'm staying tuned for today's update!

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