Friday, October 24, 2014

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

So yesterday I was flipping through an actual paper newspaper and I came across this New York Times "Style" feature on the phenomenon of non-bikey bikey clothes:

(Obviously this is the digital version, I saved the analog version to stuff in my Sidis when they get wet.)

The movement in the United States signifies a big shift from a decade ago, before bike lanes spread like kudzu in cities across the country. In those days, big-city cycling was generally a commando affair for bike messengers and other urban warriors. No wonder safety gear tended to be drably utilitarian in spirit, like military armor. Now that pedal-pushing professionals, many of them style-conscious women, are gliding down the streets, a next-generation biker wardrobe seems overdue.

Ordinarily I might scoff at this sort of froofiness, but after weeks of reading about cyclists terrorizing Central Park and drivers running over pretty much everybody I was actually relieved to read something about bikes that was utterly non-controversial--not to mention it's the "Style" section so what do you expect?  Also, my wife was looking over my shoulder and announced she wants this red "riding dress," but she's gonna have to fight me for it because it would look absolutely smashing on me:

"Rowr!," I growled at her, miming cat's claws as I shielded the paper from her view.

I would also totally wear this "Lightning Vest" with nothing else:

The technology is based on Acme’s Tornado whistle, engineered through the principle of wave interference – meaning it can produce a highpitched, high volume sound without the need for any moving parts. The shape of the whistle also prevents it from being pushed into the wearer’s mouth in case of a fall. The nylon neckband comes tied with a safety break free knot. It sits securely around your neck but if you pull it off with a quick snap, the knot will break.

I'd like to know the last time a cyclist either choked to death on a whistle, was inadvertently hanged by the lanyard from which it dangled, or both.  I'm also sure that, were a cyclist to actually die this way, the media would still go out of their way to point out whether or not he or she was wearing a helment.

Furthermore, you wouldn't think anybody would still need instructions on how to use a whistle, and you also wouldn't think those instructions would sound so lurid:

Blow softly for a gentle alert or hard for a loud warning. Keep it around your neck at all times and leave it resting on your lip when traveling through a particularly busy area.

It's simultaneously phallic and also evocative of that Star Wars guy's head tentacle:

(He rests it on his lip when traveling through a particularly busy area.)

Another product I learned about from the article was this "CitySeat" artisanal bike share bike seat cover:

I think they'll sell a million of these things if they start a rumor that Citi Bikes spread Ebola and that the CitySeat is your only defense.  Yes, everybody is freaking out that a guy in New York City now has Ebola, and while I hate to recycle my own Tweets this one encapsulates my feelings on the situation:
Nevertheless, everybody's obsessed with where Dr. Ebola has been over the last few days:

The High Line?  Bowling in Williamsburg?  Jogging?  All in the same week?!?  I had no idea anybody in New York City actually lived this way, I thought that was only in rom-coms.

In any case, it says a lot about people that, instead of saying "Wow, I hope the doctor who risked his own life to help people will recover!," they're instead worrying that they caught Ebola off a subway pole like a bunch of idiots.

Get over it.  Basically, if you went to any of the places above and rubbed your faces in any puddles of vomit or diarrhea--or maybe you went bowling at The Gutter in Williamsburg that night and then blew this guy in the bathroom--you should be very concerned.  Otherwise, worry about something that's actually pretty likely to kill you in New York City.  You know, like a car:

But that would require common sense.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right that's nice, and if you're wrong you'll hear Dracula sing the "Cyclist's Anthem."

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and don't use that bowling ball or CitiBike if it's smeared with puke, blood, or crap.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

("A new car!!!")

1)How much to run down a cyclist with your SUV in New York City?


2) If you announce your intentions beforehand and then run down a cyclist with your SUV in New York City, you will get in real trouble, because it proves premeditation.


3) The key to immortality is:

--Riding between 75-200 miles per week
--Regular blood transfusions
--Being a retrogrouch
--Hot-tubbing with Steve Guttenberg

4) The 2015 Tour de France route was unveiled this week.  Which is this year's route map?

--This one:

--This one:

--This one:

--This one:

5) In banning Lance Armstrong from the Hincapie Gran Fondo, USA Cylcling is now one step closer to also claiming authority over the discipline of "Cat 6" racing.


(The boys enjoying Hincapie's "platinum package.")

6) Which of the following is not included in the $10,000 Hincapie Gran Fondo "Platinum Package?"

--Helicopter from airport
--Security team
--A Lexus
--Special one-on-one opportunity to give Tom Danielson "the finger"

7) Trading eyes is a good way to get Ebola.


***Special "A Bicycle?!?  That's Political Suicide!"--Themed Bonus Video***


Anonymous said...


McFly said...

Jedi commenter

dnk said...

Sub-Jedi Commander

dickey said...

Unnnhhh. I'm komming!

leroy said...

Almost Podium (cough, cough, sniffle)

Anonymous said...

sub-podio FS

Anonymous said...

Jesus Dickey. Keep your Koomming and saddle sores to yourself.

Herschel Raney said...

Indeed, the Doctors-Without-Borders guys have no fear. And they have literally been there since the day after the outbreak started.

He did not take care of patients when he returned. He went bowling. Probably wiped his ball down with bleach. And as soon as his temp went up, while he was self monitoring, he called and had himself put in isolation.

People are batshit. Give him a medal.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Toppus tennus

Freddy Murcks said...

I am having a hard time caring about the Tour day Frank route.

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...
Almost podes. Even after reading.

Cheated on the quiz.

Ride your bike to work. Don't pick up bleeding strangers w/ projectile vomit and explosive diareeeya (I don't feel like looking it up, you know what I mean...).

Back to NYC tonight !!


leroy said...

Cough, cough, sniffle.

My dog owes me $5.

But he says I'm quarantined to the couch.

I think he's just peeved because he isn't allowed on the couch.

Anonymous said...

Grand fondo babe is smokin' hot

Anonymous said...

Quiet for a friday. everyone must be taking a long weekend.


Synonymous said...

More comments, please

Anonymous said...

BS, while I'm sub-podio'ing, just wondering why my comment yesterday about SUV guy was removed? In my comment I rehashed info already in the media (nothing new - his FB page and his workplace on Gothamist) and expressed that people should protest him. (Going from memory, I may have dropped a C-word - is only Wiggins allowed to do that?)

In the end this guy got away with trying to kill someone with a $250 fine. Having almost gotten killed by many irrational drivers (while on foot, on bike or in the car THAT I TOO OWN) and having lost a sibling to a hit and run, it's hardly the vigilantism he deserves saying he should be protested by people upset by his criminal actions.

That said, it's your blog, I love it and I respect whatever "curating" of comments you want to do. I just think this was horrible and shouldn't be forgotten in a day - especially by the perpetrator.

boner said...


Comment deleted said...

Anonymous @ 1:05: I have never known a comment to get deleted here, other than by the person that posted it.

I agree with you fully, by the way. How does vehicular assault (attempted murder, even) get reduced to leaving the scene of an accident with "property damage"?

Motherfucker. (See, that won't get deleted).

CommentatorBOT9000 said...

"I'd like to know the last time a cyclist either choked to death on a whistle, was inadvertently hanged by the lanyard from which it dangled, or both."

It is either equal to or more than the number of Americans who have died from ebola.

Comment deleted said...

Hmm. Anonymous @ 1:05 just disappeared (without a "Comment deleted" tag). WTF?

synonymous said...

It only costs $1500 to kill a cyclist in Iowa.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Comment Deleted,

I certainly didn't delete anything. Will see if G--gle automatically rerouted it...

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Bama Phred said...

Sometimes the comments don't post. They go to some commenting purgatory.

If Snob is rocking the Red Riding Dress, then I'm going for the Scalloped Shorts.

I can just hear the Lance now, "WTF, First they said I can't swim, now I can't even go for a snack ride?"

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 1:05pm,

Not sure what happened, G--gle seems to have sent your comments into the spam folder. No idea how their little algorithms work. Anyway, I've un-spammed it. Sorry!

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Comment deleted said...

Thanks, WCRM. I didn't suspect you of memory-holing comments.

babble on said...

Fair enough. I do hope the doctor who helped people dying in Africa recovers, and that nobody else catches that damned bug down there.
Thanks for the pretty dresses. I'll shut up now.

Anonymous said...

Mid-pack fodder
Top XXX ??

Comment deleted said...

What's strange is that the comments briefly appear here. Then, somehow, the giant hive-mind of Goog lumbers into action and shuffles it off into the spam folder.

Ours is not to question why the Big G does anything, I suppose.

Anonymous said...

You're right wildcat, you would look nice in that dress. That vision zero clock is pretty sad when you read some of the victims stories. Everyone ride safely. ALWAYS assume that a driver or pedestrian is going to do the wrong thing. Also, look out for doors. Now go do your room and do your homework.

Anonymous said...

Fuck Google. Unless of course they want to hire me.

Freddy Murcks said...

I'd bet that red riding dress would look great on my floor, if you catch my drift.

rural 14 said...

rural 1st.
Just returned from vacation in NYC.
Not joking when I suggest this - how about some sensitivity training for cops / and some sort of PSA program for citizens not to be such jerks to cyclists? How about "earbuds out" - oh, that would offend Apple or some such. NYC has been a more civil place than it is now, despite all the bike lanes and etc. I think it's possible to bring it back. Just like the poetry program on the subway, which used to get people speaking with each other, was mothballed, and recently made a comeback.
I'll hide now.

Anon 1:05 said...

BSNYC, thanks. I didn't say much new. Also thanks Comment Deleted for the support and info.

I usually comment under "anonymous" and leave stupid messages in the Podium! Back to lighter fare…

Bama Phred said...

I can understand the Ebola fear.

It is communicable, there is no vaccine, there is no cure, and the death rate is 70%.

There are treatments that are successful if started early.

Hence the nurses and doctors that have survived.

But turn the virus loose amongst the homeless, the street people, the not so very hygienic, those who make a habit of ignoring symptoms until they are flat on their back, literally, and you have e recipe for disaster in one of the worlds most dense population centers.

I'm surprised that Dallas has not had any more patients appear.

balls™ said...

In other news, WADA, USA Cycling, being dicks.

That's it. I am officially retiring from CAT-6 racing. What a joke.

Selfie Queen said...

Look at my ass

BikeSnobNYC said...

Bama Phred,

Right. Lots of homeless people working for Doctors Without Borders or commuting between the USA and Ebola hot zones.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

bieks! said...

The key to proper whistle use is to alternately blow the whistle and shout "BICYCLE RIGHTS" or "SHARE THE ROAD". Fred Armisen demonstrates this technique rather adroitly in Portlandia. What might get you in trouble are those lobe stretching earrings.

babble on said...

WOOOT!! Can't. Help. It. Must babble... that faceingbook "like" thingy is approaching ONE MILLION on SpokeNscene! Sooooo happy-making. And I owe it all to you, oh Snobi Wan. You inspired me to write, and you have this awesome forum to chat and make friends on... thank you thank you thank you. :) xoxoxoxox

Oh, and the disappearing comment syndrome happens on my blogspot spot sometimes, too actually. I suspect it is blogspot specifically, and not G___le generally. I get an email message for each comment, and sometimes the message is in my inbox, but the comment doesn't appear on the post. And it is noticible because unlike your site, mine doesn't have a flood of comments for every post, so I usually just copy/paste the comment manually.

You will need another helper monkey just to keep up.

Herschel Raney said...


Fear of a very infectious disease is understandable. And you are essentially describing in your bottom paragraph what is happening in the largest city in Liberia, where it is possible that 1/4 of a million people will die.

But the parents in the Mississippi school system who held their children out of school after the Principal returned from a wildlife safari in Tanzania because he might give them Ebola?

Or Rush Limbaugh's verbal masturbation concerning the virus and who wants who to die from it? Those are wrong headed fears which help no one.

They do have absolutely nothing to do with biking however. Or cats.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Thanks for that Armstrong - Big George fondo thing. Man that's funny stuff. Almost as funny as head tentacles.


Freddy Murcks said...

Bama - In addition to the foregoing, I would invite you to consider the case of the family of the Liberian man who died of Ebola in Dallas. The were living with him and in intimate contact with him while he was infectious and not a one of them contracted Ebola. If Ebola was transmissible like the flu or the common cold all of those people would have gotten sick, but they didn't. The Dallas nurses who contracted Ebola did so because either because they were not following protocol or their employer was irresponsible and there was no protocol. Ebola is deadly and scary, but it is still very hard to transmit. And the fact that it kills so many so quickly actually reduces the chances that a person infected with Ebola will infect others.

Anonymous said...

Did everyone miss the real reference in the "hit and run" quote? I'm not defending the douche, and the quote is strangely premonitory, but come on- the quote is from Lil' Wayne and is freaking funny. Because, you know, it isn't actually about hitting someone with a car and running.

JB said...

True BamaPhred. Let's hope there is very little contact between these Docs and the homeless, et. al.

I can see the movie now though: hot shot doctor (Christian Bale), bangin' 'em two at a time, gets talked into joining Docs w/o Borders by a sexy surgeon babe. Surgeon babe won't give it up while in Africa. Horny hot shot doc gets back to Manhattan, hits on babe at the bar, at the last minute she reveals her nightly fee, he says "oh well" and pays up. Three days later he gets the fever. Duh, duh, DUH!

Oh yeah, he's not contagious until he has the fever. Script needs a little doctoring.

1904 Cadardi said...

More Americans have played Batman than have contracted Ebola. It's 21 to 9 so far. If luck holds out we won't have a relapse of Clooney Batman.

That has been today's useless statistical comment.

Anonymous said...

”I can understand the Ebola fear. “

Can you understand why Ebola should be greater than fear of Hepatitis, Meningococcal, Tuberculosis, and all the other communicable diseases the homeless and the street people already have by the tens of thousands? Vs. a disease with 7 cases in the US?

Also this

Stop me if you have heard this, but more Americans have been married to a Kardashian sister than have had ebola.

1904 Cadardi said...

If UCI/WADA/USADA is to be believed, as many Americans have won the Tour de France as have died from Ebola.

Anonymous said...

Anon @2:17p

Talk about communicable diseases.

grog said...

Worst bicycle infection disease in history has been nearly wiped out. Rust. The inventions of aluminium and crabon fibre has just about wiped out dreaded rust of bikecyle. Thanks be to Lob. And Recumbabe.


Anonymous said...

Found a 1995 Trek Jetta on Craigslist for $50.00. Bought it from guy who said it was wife's bike and hung in garage for 15 years.

I know you guys will flame me for enjoying such a lowly stead but they really were nice bikes in their day. Not too heavy,good steel frame, nice component set. The joke back then was that with a Trek Jetta you paid $14,000 for a nice mountain bike and they threw in a German sedan.


McFly said...

..............scanning the EBAY for Peta Todd's discarded City Seat. I found a couple but I prefer a minimum of 50 Scranus Hours ground into the tapiture.

JLRB said...

Firstly, these pretzels are making me thirsty, and

Snob's lead-in article includes the following quote:
"The movement in the United States signifies a big shift from a decade ago, before bike lanes spread like kudzu in cities across the country."

Which leads me to subject you to a mini-travelogue, cause I can. Last week I asked about cycling in San Antonio TX - a reader or two warned of it being, in the past, known as cycling hell. My findings: kudzu bike lanes (though on crappy surfaced streets); miles of bike/pedestrain trails along the river (Mission Trail); ample well-stocked bike-share kiosks.

So I was thinking, times have changed - these have gotten better in many places - and it is true. Here in the Crapital City my commute for the past decade has always enjoyed multi-sue paths between the burbs and CIty, but now the city is full of bike lanes and the numbers of cyclists is way up - including those using the share-bikes. All mostly good.

Then you read about that Jose Fuckface intentionally hitting a car and are reminded they have only gotten so much better, and there is so much more that needs to be done. When a $250 ticket is handed out for attempted murder, it brings truth to statements like Idiot Milloy .

How have various interest groups made progress? Money - make them pay. Want safer products? Turn loose the PI attorneys. Victims should refuse to settle civil suits and take each one to trial beyond insurance limits - take everything ass clowns like Jose have.

Travel-rant ended.

JLRB said...

Either I can't type or Goooole just inserted a bunch of typos in my post for fun - I meant multi-use paths, and hitting a bike with a car, and etc.

JLRB said...

Why does the vision zero clock say things are on track for pedestrians?

Dubya said...

There's nothing wrong with fear. And the best way to comfort yourself is to buy stuff.

JLRB said...

Lastly, on teh ebola - I reached the same conclusion as others - I have a roughly equal chance of contracting meningitis and haven't, etc. A number of people registered for a conference I just attended cancelled last minute because of fear - that fear is fueled by the blowhards who have politicized the issue and blown it out of proportion in the media. I probably had a better chance of dying in a plane crash, or getting run over while biking, then I did of catching ebola while traveling.


Be safe.
Don't settle if they hit you.

Anonymous said...

SNOB! What do you think of this >

Bryan said...

Ya know what, I have mentioned 2 things in comments this week that make it on Snob's posts. Sure, I know it is coincidence, the Portland improvised weapon thing was a big deal, and if Snob reads the NYT, he came across the same article on "fashion"...but dammit, I am taking those coincidences and will say I have achieved infamy! muhahahaha.
Anyhow, the cycling anthem is super fucking creepy.
Enjoy your weekends!

ken e. said...

nothing says great illo like internal illumination from your scrotal region.


Freddy Murcks said...

Anon @3:24 - If it's raining, find a bus and get in it.

Anonymous said...

Anon @3:24 - I don't know what Mr. Snob might think, but I think it might work as long as the wind never blows when it is raining.

balls™ said...

Every time I see the word "tentacle" in print the part of my brain that loved Beavis & Butthead thinks I just read the word TESTICLE.

Is it just me?

Comment deleted said...

Anon @ 3:24: I'm so happy that we finally have portable force-fields.

I mean, that's what it is, right? His shoes aren't even getting wet!

bad boy of the north said...

hazmat suits will be the next cycling fashion statements.

Bama Phred said...

Whoaa. Tough crowd on the Ebola thing.

I'm not banging on a tin pot saying the end is near, even if I came across that way.

Time to dig myself from under this pile-on and have another go, but it won't be on you-know-what.

Have a nice weekend. Keep the scranus side down.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Ebola is not so deadly. It is treatable with modern medicine. G-d help you if you are in some sub-Saharan backwater, however.

It is also not so contagious so long as you avoid the copious bodily fluids of the infected.

After SARS, the bird flu, and all the other pandemics which were going to wipe mankind off the face of the earth, one should gain a little perspective and learn to tune out the chicken littles.

JB said...

Bama, don't be a stranger!

P. Bateman said...

seven's eights nine gear. bi bi bicycle

damn you snob. that anthem is gonna be lodged in my mind for quite some time.

where do you keep finding those wonderful yootoob gems?

on the subject of ebola, i'm way more concerned about my private parts contracting something much less exotic from these trashy florida gals that i just love so damn much.

Anonymous said...

I had two really funny comments deleted last week. I thought maybe Snob didn't want the competition but when I considered how lazy he reports himself to be I thought, no, Google must have done it. BTW, they were really funny.

Anonymous said...

Aw the product of Satan red dress and the Terry bike company. Hide all your credit cards. My husband thought he would look great in their clothes too, and spent our son's college savings on Terry's stuff. (Yeah that's my story and I am sticking to it. Kid probably won't go to college anyways.)

leroy said...

Shucks, with all this ebola talk, I almost forgot to say "Ride safe all!"

And if you're in the nation's number one bicycle cycling city for bicycles this Sunday, don't forget the Tour de Bronx.

Registration is free, can be done Sunday morning at the ride, the 40and 25 mile rides start late in the morning, you get a T-shirt and slice of pizza at the end, and I might marshal again (haven't quite made my mind up).

Info is here.

Flyover BC said...

The asian girl leaning on the bike would look absolutely smashing on me, astraddle of course.

Bama Phred said...

The reports of my disappearance are greatly exaggerated.
How about that recumbabe insert. Recumbabe doesn't need fancy non bieking bieking clothes.

Spokey said...

instead of $20 for the stupid whistle I bought this whistle from campmor for 2.99. No moving parts and plenty shrill and loud.

Peter G said...

This comment section has proven to be a more sane commentary on Ebola than anyplace else on the World Wide Webola.

Just the same, I think I'll bowl without putting my fingers in the holes.

Spokey said...

yall can turn to zom-bolas for all i care.

I'se hoarded enough peanut butter and bread mix boxes to get me through the apocalypse.

i think i saw some of the undeadly today when i was out for my daily romp. but maybe that moaning was just the wind. it was mightly gustly todays.

Gutter Ball said...

Oh Dear God. Now I have to be terrified of ebowla! Where will it strike next? Will anyone be spared? Who should we pin the blame on? Has the good doctor been framed? You have more to fear from sick puns than obscure sicknesses.

BikeTode said...

Gratwick will undoubtedly not win his election, but not because of the bike. Listen to him: he's obviously From Away...

Duncan Gay has gone full retard said...

Well yesterday you highlighted the fuck knuckledness of Hamilton from Adelaide. Guess the the NSW road's minister wanted to make sure that everyone knows he is even a bigger brain dead fuck knuckle.

What an idiot this guy is

"Roads Minister Duncan Gay has ordered a full review of penalties as part of the government’s investigation into a licence system for cyclists.

The Saturday Telegraph clocked dozens of cyclists speeding over the limit on Sydney’s roads, and others going over the advised 10km/h limit on shared pedestrian paths, ­despite warnings from police and the Pedestrian Council to slow down."

BTW, The Pedestrian Council is a one man private operation run by a particularly odious guy. He deliberately ran over a pedestrian who he had a verbal altercation with (it is in the court records - no slander here) and after that started up his one man PR company - guess he realised he could make some money out of it after reading up whilst trying to defend the vehicular assault charges.

WTF - fucking Australia deserves to sink into the ocean.

Duncan Gay is a stuffed shirt said...

I did say full retard...

“As part of investigating a licensing system for cyclists, I’ve already asked my department to do a full review of penalties,” Mr Gay said.

“Cyclists can create mayhem by running red lights, causing cars to swerve and hit other cars and pedestrians.”

During a police operation in August, officers stopped 151 cyclists in a day, including 76 for not wearing a helmet, 31 who ran red lights and 17 caught riding on footpaths.


For all you helment zealots - look at the above before you push your Helmet Law barrow.

Anonymous said...

I like helments cause they look cool

10 km/h? Wah wah speed

Anonymous said...

Ohh yeaaaa that giro d'italia pic makes my gran want to fondu

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dancesonpedals said...

For the second time in 3 days, the grey lady makes nice with cyclists: ny times does eroica story

dnk said...

@wishiwasmerckx (4:49 pm Oct 24) --

Ebola is not treatable with modern medicine.

But I agree w/your point about perspective. It's much less of a threat than the daily death toll doled out by drivers of cars and trucks.

BikeSnobNYC said...


Of course it's treatable with modern medicine! What do you think all these doctors and hospitals are doing???

Come on now.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

JLRB said...

no approved drugs is not the same
As no medical treatment

Anonymous said...

Concerning the Gran Fondo trophy caresser.....notice how her right hand grips the main portion while her left hand cups the bottom part.....she's a keeper.

What is wrong with this picture said...

Thinking about the Jose ram your backwheel $250 plea deal story - the one thing that is out of place is the police actually investigated it and arrested the guy...

DB said...

Larry King has had more wives than the U.S. has Ebola patients.