Thursday, October 9, 2014

Bikes: So Insidious Even Portland's Giving Up On Them

So I was flipping through the old Tweeter when I saw this:
Oops!  You know that feeling when you forget to collect your laundry from the dry cleaner?  That's the deep shame I'm now experiencing.  Just give me a few days to find my ticket and I can assure you I will declare a winner in the next few days.

Between my pending L'Eroica report and this I am officially sitting on a backlog, which means that as a blogger I'm now flirting with a demotion from semi-professional to amateur.

Speaking of demotions, remember how Portland used to be the Bike Capital of America?  Well, they've tumbled from grace so spectacularly that they've given up on bikes altogether and are now trying to be the...uh, the themselves of walking:

Portland’s annual three-week festival of fun on foot, inspired by PedalPalooza, has its first big burst of action this Saturday.

Walktober is run by advocacy group Oregon Walks. Like PedalPalooza, anyone can create an event online; the most interesting will survive.

Wait a minute.  A series of theme walks in October?  Come on, Portland.  Every city in America already has that.  It's called "Trick-or-Treating," and you'd know that if any of you had TVs:

Then again, most Americans experience a sense of shame when they continue to engage in these sorts of activities well into their 30s.  This is not the case in Portland, hence a bikeless "Zoobomb" called "Shoebomb:"

Put on your full-face helmet, pack a snack, and get on the MAX. We're going to bomb the west hills...on foot! Tighten those laces and hold on tight as we walk briskly around hairpin turns and sashay vigorously down perilous slopes. 


Poor Portland.  I can only assume that the producers of "Portlandia" sucked all the life out of the city and this desiccated shell is all that's left.

It's only a matter of time before Vanilla moves into the shoe business--oh, wait, they already have:

Yeah, I know they've been selling these boots for like six years but I'm sitting on a backlog, remember?

I've also got like two thousand fixies on Fixedgeargallery still to pick apart.  Check out Bamboo Fred, for example:

(Actually, a "Bamboo Fred" is technically called a "Gilligan.")

Fixegeargallery...still going, still ridiculous.

Speaking of ridiculous, did you know that bicycles are a greater threat to American society than mass shootings?  Well, it's true, at least according to this "article:"

(Wow, typing the word "article" really stuck in my knuckles here.)

For example, the CDC bicycle-related injury report for 2010 shows that almost twice as many people died on bicycles in that one year than were killed in "mass shootings" during the 14 years studied by the FBI. Thus, while there were 418 deaths in "mass shootings" from 2000 to 2013, there were 800 deaths by bicycle in 2010 alone.

Moreover, there "were an estimated 515,000 emergency department visits" due to bicycle accidents.

Yep, there you go.  Iron-clad logic American style.  Seems pretty clear to me that if every American had a gun instead of a bike all our psychotic violence problems would be solved.  We really need to ban bikes already--and ladders, counters, roofs, and mountains while we're at it:

And CDC death statistics for 2010 show there were 26,009 deaths from "falling" for that year alone. That's right--26,009 deaths in one year from falls from ladders, counters, roofs, mountains, etc. 

After all, you know what they say:

In fact, I say we go one better and ban gravity altogether.  That should solve that pesky "falling" problem.  Then we can all float around in "Zero-G" happily shooting at one another like the movie "Moonraker:"

("When moonrakes are outlawed only lunar gardeners will have rakes.")

Oh, while I'm on the subject of outlaws, here's a thing:

Yeah, I'd just run the fucking light, but that's just me.  See, there's a question Fredly philosophers have pondered for ages, and it is as follows:

"If a Fred runs a light in the city and there's nobody around to see it, did it really happen?"

And here is the answer to that question:

"No.  No it didn't."

But now there's a new option for this moral quandary, which is futzing around in the middle of the street looking for a sensor:

So there you are late at night, rolling back and forth and lifting your rear wheel up like a dog looking for the ideal spot to take a dump, when a drunk driver comes along and closes the circuit on your mortal coil, turning you into another statistic and further bolstering the case against gun control.

Oh, the indignity of being a cyclist in America.  That's why the media snaps to attention the very moment WHEN BICYCLES ATTACK!!!

If only Hilary Abramson (a journalist, as it happens, which is why you should never run into a journalist with your bicycle) had been carrying a firearm at the time then she could have shot the bicyclist and all of this might have been averted.

Lastly, remember New York State Senator Diane "Find A Fucking Bike Lane And Get In It" Savino?  Well, the best course of action when you're a politician beset by bad publicity is to deploy a smokescreen--ideally a heady one made of intoxicating marijuana smoke:

 Hey, Savino: Find a fucking bong and stick your face in it.


3G said...


Spokey said...


damn robot cost me yeller

Anonymous said...

podio FS!!!!!

JLRB said...

damn you all - or congrats - it means the same - off podio but top ten.

Anonymous said...

FS top ten!

Anonymous said...

TOP 5?

badcomputer_eo5u said...

read the whole thing too!

dop said...

top ten

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

je suis dans le premier dix

GreySpoke said...


Joe K. said...

I'd love to see his argument justifying his lifted pick-up truck with CDC data.

Praise the Lob and pass the ammunition!

babble on said...

Shoes shmooze! I need a walk-a-thon like I need another bicycle. Oh wait...

Um- weren't most of those deaths on bicycle caused by dumbassed, distracted drivers speeding and running them over? Just wondering is all.

babble on said...

3G -Nice podium! That's the way I like it... XX

McFly said...

Veloloop models were exquisite. They don't need no steenkeng integrated transmitter to stop the traffics.

grog said...

Thanks Wild Cat!

S said...

People love to talk about hitting the bong, but, they never actually hit the bong (or a fine specimen of handblown glass made whole with a carburetor). That 'find a fucking bike lane" woman cannot feign nor verify a long term relationship with the marijuana. You can lead a horse, darling..

le Correcteur said...

Top twenty; read; where is everybody?

James said...

Shamefully, I have two bikes on Fixedgeargallery.

streepo said...


Anonymous said...


mikeweb said...

At least Andy will have more time to play with his pet pony now.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I love how the pigpen ghost has got a dirty sheet and that cloud of dust following him around.

Anonymous said...

And now; Velo Loop! Or... the city could just follow the state DOT code and set the inductance loop detector so that a steel frame bicycle could trigger it.

And as for the woman who got hit by the cyclist (and please dont take this the wrong way because i really do feel bad foe her), she was probably blasting the ipod too loudly to hear the cyclist call out, then she probably meandered right into their path, because lets face it, thats usually the case. Cant we all just pay-a-damn-tention, and then when shit goes south, take responsibility for our actions? What the hell...

Id love to stay and chat but ive got to go file a law suit against Juicy Fruit gum because i tripped over my own two fucking feet. Peace.

Anonymous said...


Freddy Murcks said...

I am just going to spend the day foffing off and try to forget that all of this stupid shit is going on. I recommend it as an alternative to letting yourself go completely fucking crazy.

Anonymous said...

Two things:
1. I'm with McFly. Veloloops girls are spectacular.
2. Did you say Portlanders are now walking or wanking?

I think the latter.

Anonymous said...

Without signage there can be no education.

Anonymous said...

I think Bamboo Fred might be Vincenzo's brother, Gilligan Nibali.

Spokey said...

it's true about portlandia walking

peachy was running the portlandia marathon last sun-dey and found she had to walk parts of it.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...fack podder.

Anonymous said...

Handsome Carl?

Happy Birthday Leroy's Dog.

scaryblackguns said...

I have ccw permit,scary guns, and several bieks.
Not once has any of my scary black guns jumped on one of my bieks and run over someone. that's gun control.

Comment deleted said...

While I applaud the ingenuity of the Veloloop inventor, it gives me an achey kind of despair. Such a high-tech solution to a problem that doesn't really exist. Why do we keep searching for ways to make a simple, beautiful form of transportation into a wired-up piece of cruft?

Comment deleted said...

I mean, it's not hard to tune inductive sensors to recognize bicycles. My town does it.

balls™ said...

Happy wanking day!

Wait. Walking? Oh, that's different.

Spokey said...

oh my lob

i am losing it

totally missed recumbabe

Spokey said...

that was the stupidest kickstarter in awhile.

just what the hell are all the electronics? it's a stupid induction loop. I guess the silicon lights up the LED?

Find a goddam tuner and get in the fucking control panel

wishiwasmerckx said...

The easiest way to trip the traffic sensor whilst on bike is to activate the flux capacitor I carry in my camelback.

JLRB said...

So we can ignore mas shootings until more people, children etc. die from gun violence than, say heart disease. I love logic!

JLRB said...

In the category of solutions in search of problems - can someone design a device - hopefully made of hideously large pieces of metal attached to my beik - to allow me to scratch my nuts while riding?

Bryan said...

I like the end of that video about (nut)sac(k)remento...when the portly gentleman rode behind the reporter. So perfect, it had to have been staged. I can understand that though....bicycles don't belong on the sidewalks (at least if you are an adult)...the more people who ride in the street the better it is for everyone. I ALWAYS see college kids ride up a sidewalk, going against traffic, when there is a bike lane RIGHT FUCKING NEXT TO THEM.

crosspalms said...

I give Abramson credit: She says get bikes off the sidewalks and put in protected bike lanes so they (we) have somewhere safe to ride.

She wrote about it here.

Orestes Munn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Orestes Munn said...

Good afternoon.

It think the All Powerful Bike Lobby needs to force Congress to cut the CDC's budget in the exact amount it spends on bicycle-related research and put language in its appropriation prohibiting it from advocating bike control. That approach worked for some other group, I forget who.

Anonymous said...

Ok heres the deal with veloloop. I regularly encounter lights that i cant trip. So i stop, make sure the coast is clear, then run the stupid light. If theres too many cars to run it safely, i roll on over to the handy crosswalk button and give myself a green light. Is it a pain? Sure. Am i gonna buy some overpriced ugly hunk of turd to bolt onto my beautiful bicycle? Fuck no. That thing in the stay is just a stick in the spokes waiting to happen. And yes, id pee in veloloop girls butt for sure.

1904 Cadardi said...

Dear State Senate Creature Savino,


One of your thankfully unstituents

1904 Cadardi said...

Regarding Veloloop,

My girlfriend noticed that in the last year she was able to trigger traffic lights. Partly because the city went out and marked the center of the censor loop with a cyclist icon, mostly because she switched to a steel frame.

But if you really don't want to run a red, for instance to cross a busy street, can't you just push the pedestrian crosswalk button?

Anonymous said...

Kenny better not be winning that Strava-Free essay, Snob.
Just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

The only real way to increase cycling in the U.S. is for the USA to declare a war on it. You got to admit the approach worked pretty well on drugs and proverty.


Joe K. said...

I ride on inorganic bikes, so the inductive loop thing has never really been much of an issue. Especially when pulling the tag-a-long bike with my 6-year-old on it, while his tag-a-long is pulling the child trailer that has my 4-year-old and 10 month old in it. We seem to find the sensor just fine.

But I have friends on organic bikes and they just put neodium magnets on their bottom bracket.

I don't know how they work though.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...portland is a cesspool of everything that is wrong with canada's sagging nutsac.

Anonymous said...

VSK said...

Meanwhile in other non-news:

Well Mr. Snoberdoodles, it seems you skeedaddled out of the Welcome Back Kotter boro a little too soon:

vsk in Bay Ridge,
now Beirut,
complete with Bay Root Meats on 5th Ave. When can I cash out on the foreign cash boom?

Orestes Munn said...

vsk, I used to go to Bay Ridge to party when I was in high school. They had amazing substances and an over-lit White Castle, which was open all night. You could get to the beach from there somehow, too.

Olle Nilsson said...

Hey, Private Cyclist, we all better hope you don't win the contest or the next 6 months of this comments section will contain you asking "where's my hat?". I guess you're not familiar with the BSNYC contest format.

Of course Wildcat will have to pick a winner first.

Spokey said...


that's why you wear those stretching lick-ra panties. No problem scratching at least one-handed.

Anonymous said...

I believe I would just as soon drag an unmanned volkswagen behind me to set off the sensors as to put that loop next to my Campagnolos.

Spokey said...


that portly gentleman is already dead. or didn't you notice no helment.

here in snobbie's hemorrhoids, the state says there isn't any law against riding on the sidewalk but you should do for all the reasons frequently listed here.

Not sure I agree with them. Given that the state say a bicycle is a vehicle with all the duties yada yada (assuming your seat is at least 25" at its lowest level) unless it's OK to drive my car (with drum breaks) on the sidewalk, seems like a biek otta be ill-eagle too. And I have read most of the actual law (can't be sure as it's scattered all over the place) and don't remember any exceptions for sidewalks.

Freddy Murcks said...

The Veloloop video offended me because they insisted on calling it the vay-low-loop. That is neither the correct english pronunciation of velo nor is it the correct french pronunciation. It is, however, stupid and annoying.

JLRB said...

Freddy - I fixed that by turning off the sound and focusing on the two models - nice calf close up of the blond-a-low

JLRB said...

And, Snob, on the subject of the Filthadelphic Beik show appearance - we need to get you down here to the taxpayer financed founding-phallus and dome-where-nothing-gets-done - WABA must have enough in its budget to pay your appearance fee...

Freddy Murcks said...

JLRB - I agree that the blond is very nice. I never did manage to get through the whole video. Is there a treat at the end or have I seen all of the good stuff in the 2/3 that I have watched?

The blonde and I have the same bike, by the way. I've been riding it to work this week. I have always considered it to be kind of a novelty bike, but an internal 8 speed really is a beautiful thing.

David said...

MT @NY1: State Sen Savino headliner at cannabis expo this wknd. "Find a f***ing bong!"— David Bivins (@davidbivins) October 9, 2014

Anonymous said...

in Minnesota you can stop at a controlled red light and then run it if it doesn't change for you

Subd. 9.Affirmative defense relating to unchanging traffic-control signal. (a) A person operating a bicycle or motorcycle who violates subdivision 4 by entering or crossing an intersection controlled by a traffic-control signal against a red light has an affirmative defense to that charge if the person establishes all of the following conditions:

(1) the bicycle or motorcycle has been brought to a complete stop;

(2) the traffic-control signal continues to show a red light for an unreasonable time;

(3) the traffic-control signal is apparently malfunctioning or, if programmed or engineered to change to a green light only after detecting the approach of a motor vehicle, the signal has apparently failed to detect the arrival of the bicycle or motorcycle; and

(4) no motor vehicle or person is approaching on the street or highway to be crossed or entered or is so far away from the intersection that it does not constitute an immediate hazard.

(b) The affirmative defense in this subdivision applies only to a violation for entering or crossing an intersection controlled by a traffic-control signal against a red light and does not provide a defense to any other civil or criminal action.

Anonymous said...

Fred of the Sea . . .

Sadly, and with seep remorse, the White Castle on 92nd St + 4th/5th Ave has been gone for a long time now. Recently (in the last 3 months?) the White Castle on 31st Street and 4th Ave is closed and is boarded up. That was total flyover Brooklyn territory and the White Castle I am sure provided economic sustenance to the locals. However, when I take my non-epic train R and B subway train rides, you can see more well heeled individuals and couples getting on the train from the former cities of Dis that were 59th, 53rd, 45th, and 36th Streets. While still gritty, the neighborhoods are heading up the market. I am sure a White Castle would not do there now.
The last hope of getting the microburgers is on 40th Street and Fort Hamilton Parkway.

Bars bars bars abound. Now, it's hooker bars. I hate saying hookah. There are like 7 or so of them in close proximity - Damascus Gate, Turboosh, lemme look at the google street man, ... oh yeah... Blow, Hookahnuts (hooker bar supply place), Yemen Cafe, Felfla, Le Nor, and La Moza.
There are still some "good"/"traditional"/"regular" places left. Yes it's xenophobic codespeak for "the townies" or local folks. The Wicked Monk moved to the old Bally Bunion place and really made a nice place of it. Greenhouse has live bands too. There isn't much of a "club scene" although there are some storefront places in the high 80s for the usual Brooklyn stereotypes to go. I'm sure "substances" are probably obtainable.

Beach? The shoreline here is rocky although you could take the N or B Trains to Coney Island. My marina is on the way to Rock Rock Rockaway Beach.

It's long sleeve jersey time about now though.

Forgotten - NY dot com has some interesting neighborhood tours and facts, etc.


Anonymous said...

We don't need no more stinking devices on our bikes designed to do nothing but achieve parity with how motor vehicles operate already! Bikes belong and riders need to be treated fairly!

It's not that big a deal to change detector sensitivity to pick up bikes. Just call your city traffic engineering department and bother them. Some of them actually ride bikes.

Orestes Munn said...

vsk, We got to the beach by car and somehow didn't die. The riprap along the narrows isn't very inviting.

We really do have to spend a week in NYC, preferably with bike cycles, and visit new neighborhoods, one of these days.

JLRB, Wasn't Snob here pretty recently on a book tour or something?

Joe K. said...


Yes, our Geniutards in the Trenton State legislature decided it would be better for each municipality to make the call on sidewalk riding among other rules of bike ride cycling.

Because where's the fun in anything that isn't an ambiguous mess? The rest of the state already is.

I was harassed by a gentleman of the law in a white Ford named after a dead queen in my beautiful town once over my "flaunting of the laws of the road" while on my bike. It was only after that I realized he could impound my bike for not being registered with the town, having the proper reflectors and not having a bell.

This is why they can harass anyone on a bike. Make enough laws and pretty soon everyone will be breaking at least one.

JLRB said...

Freddy - There is a brief (but not in briefs) return appearance of the brunette at the end, but if you caught blondies calf close up you saw the best of the video - unless you are into duders talking whiz bang scientific nonsense with library books as background for gravitas...

Fredo'Sea - I don't recall his Snobiness gracing our bookstores, but I may have been out on my bike and missed it ...If so I'd ask him to come back, but his Cipolini joke about that is still too fresh

Shane said...

'sitting on a backlog' is a horrible image.

Anonymous said...

Fred of Sea -
What's old is what's newly gentrified.
You would definitely be in for a shock seeing the coastal area from Atlantic Avenue to the Manhattan Bridge. It's nice, but so crowded on the weekends now. Crowded over there used to mean 3 bums (ambulatory homeless) on the same block.

I keep thinking I'll go to Anapolis for the power or sail boat show but this work stuff gets in the way. No use salivating over boats that have things like new carpet and USB ports anyway.

If all a yall come up this way, look for me (preferably when it's warmer and the roads and seas are more comfortable), I'll be in the comments section of dis here blog!


Everbody said...

Who asked the ahole to compare "mass killings" with bicycle deaths? My opinion is he picked that cherry out of his darkest pucker. Why didn't he use ALL gun related deaths? Why didn't he compare mass gun killings with mass bicycle killings? Some people

Comment deleted said...

Yeah, well, that's just like, Everybody's opinion, man.

Tom Rousculp said...

Thanks for sharing BSNYC! Cross season is here for sure.
New link for those SV Pit Boots is:

jodphoto said...

Welcome back there Wildcat. I can't wait to see how you did on L'Eroica.

Don't sweat the backlog. Nobody gives a shit who won the essay contest. It was a joke anyway, right? ...RIGHT?

The castaways on Gilligan' Island were ingenious. They made a radio out of a coconut! I always wonder why they couldn't fix the hole in the boat.

I DO NOT want an IUD hanging off of my chainstay, thanks. Especially if it removes my excuse for going through red lights.

Both Savino and her hubby should take a few hits of the good shit to help with their rage issues. Either that or some angry sex. Then she could politely suggest that cyclists find a sidewalk and ride on it.

When doomsday arrives, gun-tards will loot Kmart looking for bicycles and ammo.

Anything else I can help you with today, sir?

Comment deleted said...

jodphoto, the Existential Castaways were laboring under an unfair constraint: total reset. Every week, they had to start from zero. The Professor would come up with an ingenious plan, only to have it ruined by an inevitable Gilligan-boner. The cruel laws of that peculiar island universe dictated that they could never try that particular solution again (perhaps with Gilligan tied up by a complicit Mary Ann).

Surely this was Hell, and not just some uncharted desert isle.

leroy said...

All my dog wants for his birthday is 20 bags of Cheetos, a case of Chassagne-Montrachet, and Senator Savino's phone number.

It's good to have goals.

NHcycler said...

@ anonymous 2:07 and
@1904 Cardari 2:16

You city folk crack me up.

Only a small percentage of controlled intersections along my commute route have these "crosswalk buttons."

And how does one do this when one is first in line in the left turn lane, surrounded by motor vehicles, waiting for the left turn signal arrow to turn green?

Orestes Munn said...

leroy's is a dog after my own heart and other viscera, no doubt.

vsk, the rather trusting invitation is reciprocated. Sail show is this weekend. We've already spent this seasons''s budget x 2, so I think we'll give it a miss, too.

Spokey said...


hopefully they don't require ferriners to register. i come through all the time. My rear light is supposed to also be a legal reflector.

But I do have a bell. They were handing them out a few years back at a Main / Bike League ralley. So I stuck in on my lower stem.

robot wad did eye do to you?

3rd shot - ranerse book
4rth shot - naoda including
5th shot - lincris for

jellyfishsalad71 said...

wouldn't it be better to compare the mass shooting deaths with mass bicycle deaths? either that or include the deaths from non mass shootings also? stupid gun advocates.

Spokey said...

oh and joe,

I did see that local law thing in the dmv manual. haven't seen it in the legislation anywhere but if you have ever gone over to the legislative site and tried to find/read the actual law you'd understand why we're so fucked up.

She mano a mano said...

A thousand apologies if this has come up, I haven't read all the comments... but I will! Promise!

The LA Times had an eerie bicycling twist to the dead bear in Central Park story.

"The bear’s feet were twisted in the spokes of the bicycle, a “ratty-looking” 10-speed, said Robeck.

babble on said...

NHcycler - if you are in the left lane turning left and surrounded by cars, the cars will surely trip the light. You still don't need the IUDevice, though you could possibly make do with the blonde. You've gotta love a hot blonde.

McFly said...

FIND A COLD BLONDES PANTIES AND GET IN THEM! (Very shortly you will have a hot blonde on your hands.....hand)

Olle Nilsson said...

What the hell are they going on about reflecting signals? It's all about the metal object changing the inductance of the traffic loop and the loop sensing the change. All those electronics might detect where the loop is, but I doubt they do squat to trigger the loop. If anything, the aluminum hoop hanging off the bike, inches from the pavement is what sets off the traffic loop. That thing is a glorified stud finder.

NHcycler said...

@babble on

"the cars will surely trip the light"

You'd think so, but that wasn't the case. The light stayed red, the traffic backed up, and only by a minor miracle was I able to sprint through an opening to get out of that predicament! Now I wait some 150 yards back until at least one car will be ahead of me at that light.

And yes, the blonde would have distracted the drivers enough to allow me to turn whatever the light was doing!

I guess I should read the "hasedsf chapter"

AYHSMB said...

jellyfishsalad71-so Jefferson, Adams, Paine were all idiots? Just try to keep away from ladders and such, and leave a free American's inalienable rights alone.

bad boy of the north said...

I got a rock..

Jeb said...

That electro-thang hangin' off the side of yo' bike is sure as shit gonna git snagged on somethin' an' it's gonna bring a whole new meaning to that sayin', 'havin' yer wire pulled'. They should have seen thet comin'.

Anonymous said...

Danny who?
(love the go pro stuff - fly 6-ish!).

Lil' Abner said...

So I should stop draggin thet log chain to trigger them traffickin lights they wasn't nuttin but seggestions anyways. Mebbe muh Starva will improve. Uh caint get past second place, an ah hates being a #2.

Anonymous said...

I think it's too late to worry about being a #2.

What, I stay up past 9:00 and no sprint?

Joe K. said...

Spokey Okey,

I have read the actual law. And concur with you.

I also drove down Great Rd today through Skillman and saw they not only repaved, but also painted the southbound shoulder at 6" at the widest.

Guess they don't want bikes on the road anymore, there goes one of my potential routes to work...

Seriously, what the hell Somerset? First they repave River Rd from Raritan past Dukes only to mill it intentionally rough. Then they paint the shoulder line on East Mountain on the edge of the rd, and now they do the same on Great rd.

Thankfully no one ever breaks down or rides their bikes in Somerset county or else that could be issues.

Dooth said...

So, now Portland aims to be the number one walking city in the country, which means they'll be the first to have...
walking lanes! And, a cordwainer on every block.

BikeTode said...

I'm pretty sure that most fatalities caused by, say, drunk pickup truck drivers rear-ending cyclists are not "deaths by bicycle", no matter how many of them occur...and that a "Bamboo Fred" would be, technically, called a "Professor".

wishiwasmerckx said...

OK, then...97...

wishiwasmerckx said...


wishiwasmerckx said...


wishiwasmerckx said...

...and 100th!

Shane in Utah said...

Did no one else notice that the VeloLoop girl is standing there flapping her arms in exasperation in front of a light that has ALREADY TURNED GREEN?

McFly said...

I did. At the very beginning of the video. I thought Man is she dumb? I hope she's dumb.

Anonymous said...


CommentatorBot9000 said...

"VeloLoop girl is standing there flapping her arms in exasperation in front of a light that has ALREADY TURNED GREEN?"

The light turns green for the through lane, it is still red for the left turn lane. The bicycle is in the left turn lane.

I'm guessing no one wants a basic physics lecture but most of the comments above about this veloloop would be WAY different if commentators understood a bit about electrical induction.

And finally, even through this Veleloop things solves a problem that does not exist, it does in in a way that is becoming obsolete. Optical sensors are replacing induction loop all around the country.

Orestes Munn said...

I, too thought induction vehicle detectors were DC devices, which simply detect inductive loads, but I was hip'd by the video.

Spokey said...


didn't know about great rd. but the the shoulders there have always been iffy in my opinion. Still it's a good road to ride. at least until you get to that hill between 518 and cherry valley.

They first did that mill thing on New Centre from Auten to about 1/2 mile from roycefield. They said that was to control speed because drivers can't keep their cars on the road otherwise. I think it's probably about a mile long which is probably about the same for the river road one. I ride the new centre frequently and it's not too bad. of course i wouldn't want to ride that all day long. also not sure this should be the wave of the future. i noticed that on the new centre one that in less than a year, there were chunks coming out of the road. small but deep one. maybe a few inches in diameter but inches deep.

hillsborough has announced a complete streets program. and to be honest i haven't seen the police parking in bike lanes since then. don't see any tickets on the cars and trucks parked there but i guess a little bit at a time.

JB said...

I recently took a semester-long course on Geophysics, which is related to these traffic loop sensor things. That's all. I'm not going to try to explain anything, because I didn't watch the Kickstarter vid (blocked at work).

In other news, the taint-cradler saddle that Snob mentioned a couple of weeks ago reached it's Kickstarter funding goal.

My buddy and I are going to eat magic cookies and go on a little ride Sunday morning. So I got that going for me, ... ("Colorado" butter, avocado-colored...)

Spokey said...


my electricity is a bit rusty and the last time i took a course we still had electrons, proton, and neutrons. and you could actually see computer memory.

but i'd think ac would work better. i'm guessing this is sort of like a transformer setup.

JLRB said...

where's my quiz? Don't make me do productive stuff

Anonymous said...

Picking up on Jellyfishsalad's comment. The author does not explicitly state that the bicycle deaths are mass killings by bicycle. I am going to assume that this is what was meant, as it is the only way it could be a reasonable comparison to mass gun killings.

I couldn't actually find statistics on mass killings by bicycle after looking on the Internet, but I am going to give the author the benefit of doubt. 

I had no idea it was so bad in Canada's dangly bits! 800 mass killings by bicycle in 2010 alone! 

I had to extrapolate on what the total number of killings by bicycle would be. So, in 2010, 82 people were killed in mass shootings in the USA, out of a total of 30,470 firearms related deaths. If bicycle deaths occur in the same proportions, for those 800 bicycle mass killings there must have been about 297,268 bicycle deaths in 2010.

That's just appalling. Stop killing each other with bikes, neighbours. 

Orestes Munn said...

I'm no engineer, but the video suggests that the vehicle detector is a circuit, containing the loop in the pavement, which is tuned to oscillate at a particular frequency. When the inductive load of the vehicle is added, the impedance changes and the thing stops oscillating or oscillates at a different frequency. I imagine this is more accurate and/or less power-consuming than simply running DC through the wires and sensing a change in resistance. Maybe the Bot will straighten us all out. Bots know this shit.

CommentatorBot9000 said...

Scroll down to the 2 paragraphs under "Vehicle Detection." Note photos to the right of a separate bicycle detector loop.

My computer at work does not have speakers, so going by the pictures in the Veloloop video, it receives radio waves being broadcast by the loop in the pavement (all AC current produces at least some radio waves) and then broadcasts a signal back that decreases the inductance in the loop in the pavement, tricking it into thinking a car is above it.

babble on said...

NHcycler - so the cars to the right of you, the ones going through the light, were sitting there forever, too? In that instance, the light was obviously broken, and then you get to do what cars do when lights are broken - treat it like an uncontrolled intersection, wait for a break in traffic, and go! And in that circumstance, you have an advantage over the cars in the lanes to your right, cause on a biekcycle you can accelerate faster than they can, so you can get through a smaller gap in traffic.

Um, and good thinking, McFly... :D

CommentatorBot9000 said...

Correction: the veloloop thing might just detect the magnetic field from the loop in the pavement, maybe not radio waves.

Anonymous said...

I have an assault bicycle, "No one needs 21 speeds to shred a trip to work!!".

Hysterical self aggrandizing smug to the umpteenth governor-speak.

You're gonna need the pro-gunners when the zombies come callin'!

i-pod zombies??


elektrische fietsen said...

I have read your blog post on
"Bikes: So Insidious Even Portland's Giving Up On Them" & it was really helpful. thanks for sharing this nice article.

Anonymous said...

Ms. Babble,

Are you still stopping traffic with your workout ethic, good genes, and good jeans !?!?!


babble on said...

Lol! Giving the flashing advance a whole new meaning, one intersection at a time...

jodphoto said...

Hey all,

I don't usually make sexist comments. But,

Diane Savino has me a little aroused. She should put on some Spandex, hop on a bike and work her thang for a while. Say what you will, she's a hottie.

Then we can auction off her seat, right here on BSNYC. Waddya think?

JLRB said...

I like the way Savino's photo is currently positioned just above the first photo from the prior posting - masturbating tier fixing retro Italia dude. They pair well together - like Chianti, liver and fava beans.

Nat said...

Late last night I decided to test the magnet theory. I tested magnets and the Veloloop at a nearby intersection. I know some of you will complain about the focus, my shorts, and my pronunciation of neodymium, and for that I apologize profusely.

Nat said...

Actually, check out this video instead.

This video has the intro and an oscilloscope comparison, and it's in 1080p.

erikbe said...

Hmmm...Sacramento, if only there was some place that you could ride a bicycle in the city, other than the sidewalk...hmmm...

Holy Shit! the timing of the guy in yellow, riding behind the reporter was priceless!

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