Friday, July 18, 2014

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

This morning I was going over my schedule while eating my Froot Loops.  Flipping through my DayRunner one day at a time I saw nothing...nothing...nothing...  until August 20th, when I head to the IMBA World Smit in Steamboat Springs, CO!


If you're not going you totally should, because all the Smits of the world will be there summiting, me included.  We'll also be talking about lots of important stuff, including:

9) E-bikes and Trail Access: Electric-assist bicycles are a fast-growing category. This discussion will examine the evolving management strategies and best practices for e-bikes on natural surface trails. Facilitated by IMBA Executive Director Mike Van Abel. Confirmed speakers include: Randy Neufeld, SRAM; Larry Pizzi, Currie Technologies; Samuel Benedict, Specialized; Zach Krapfl, GSD-Global; Mike Van Abel, IMBA.

So what do you think?  Should e-bikes be allowed on trails?  [Hint: the correct answer is NO!!!]

We'll also talk about:

10) Fat Bikes and Trail Access: Considered a fad just a few years ago, fat bikes have emerged as a meaningful trend in bicycling with application to winter sports, sand sports and backcountry travel. The go-everywhere capability of fat bikes has inspired discussions about how to best manage their use at Nordic facilities, multi-use trails and public beaches. Facilitated by IMBA Upper Midwest Region Director Hansi Johnson. Invited speakers include Gary Sjoquist (QBP/Salsa), Jake Hawkes (Grand Targhee Resort), others TBA.

So what do you think?  Should fat bikes be allowed on beaches and stuff?  [Hint: the correct answer is NO!!!  It's enough with the goddamn "fat bikes" already.  Mountain bikes were already plenty fat, your bloated tank is just annoying.  Also, if you need to ride a bike at the beach then get a beach cruiser and use the boardwalk.]

I'm glad I was able to clear that up.  Now you know why they invited me.

In other mountain bike news, remember the guy who won a race because he was wearing my hat?


(Skill had nothing to do with it, it was totally the hat.)

Well, he's written a review of said hat, and it shouldn't surprise you at all to learn that it is awesome:


Specifically:

You see, I am a heavy sweater (a person who sweats a lot, not a dense garment used to stay warm)
and as I had explained in the previous blog, I find it hard to wear caps while riding in the warmer months without wanting to rip it from my head mid-ride. The first time I tried a Walz cap I was mostly impressed by the wicking fabric that they use in the head band area. Keeping the sweat off of my face soon became easier with their caps than with others I have tried.

This particular cap, is all wicking material. It is the lightest, most airy cap I have ever worn.

This is one hundred percent true.  I too have a hair trigger when it comes to sweating, and this hat is like having angels fan my brow and massage my scalp as I ride.  In fact, the other day I was so sure that's what was happening that I attempted to capture the Sweat Angels on "film:"


(Douche.)

However, they darted out of the frame just as I pressed the button, and then one of them got stuck in my rear brake and let out a little squeal as its creepy little insect leg was torn off:


So if you see Hoppy the One-Legged Sweat Angel, please tell it I'm sorry.

And also BUY A HAT:

Thank you.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If your wright good for you, and if you're not you'll see a fat recumbent.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and watch out for Sweat Angels.


--Wildcat Rock Machine





1) "HMFIC" stands for:

--"Head Mother Fucker In Charge"
--"Head Massive Fred In Charge"
--"Helments May Fail In Crashes"
--"Hear My Farts In Cans"





(The coveted maillot AARP.)

2) The oldest rider in the Tour de France is:

--Jens Voigt
--Chris Horner
--Alessandro Petacchi
--Sylvain Chavanel






3) The owner of this bike would like to trade it for a:

--Road bike
--Mountain bike
--Folding bike
--Gun




4) The owner of this bike would like to trade it for a:

--Road bike
--Track bike
--Recumbent bike
--Gun

[Via Klaus of Cycling Inquisition]







5) The short film "How to Survive as a Bike Messenger in NYC" should have been called "How Not to Carry a Pizza."

--True
--Flase




6) In the companion piece to this signed Robert Mapplethorpe photograph, the same models roll around naked in a giant pizza.

--True
--False






7) Someone on Kickstarter wants £4,000 to:

--Make a macaroni salad
--Win the Single Speed World Championships
--Launch a new line of artisanal chamois cream
--Blog about putting his fat bike together



***Special Some-Guy-Pretending-To-Be-Interested-In-Bicycles-Themed Bonus Video!***



123 comments:

schwinng said...

schwinng

ken e. said...

zoom a zoom do

Comment deleted said...

In there...

ken e. said...

raises arms... crashes as he crosses the line.

dnk said...

Top 46

the2002saga said...

Red Kool Stop pads.

Jason Rumfelt said...

Indeed it was the hat.

Anonymous said...

hey all - happy weekend.

cycle

Anonymous said...

Better showing today!

Dang I read it first!!

Jousting with the electric bikes in the 2nd Ave bike path...

vsk

McFly said...

Hansi Johnson? Yesterdays comments gave a nice segue into that one.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Dang fast sprint today.

Spokey said...

dang 1 minute after post and not even top 10

Roille Figners said...

recumfat

crosspalms said...

Cameron would look better in one of your hats.

Spokey said...

hmmm

google reading list indicates post just posted:

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!
BikeSnobNYC at Bike Snob NYC - 1 minute ago

but post says 12:37. So google has been screwing my podi aspirations.

P. Bateman said...

dang top 20 maybe?

so, that fat recumbant bike doesn't look like too much fun (though i love how EXTREME the soundtrack is...)

this however looks like it could maybe be fun - riding a bike on the rail lines. i also love this guys incredible engineering....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pl9EfFrguQs

(you'll also note he can barely mount the bike, but is wearing a volunteer fire dept shirt. may god have mercy on your soul if you live in that town)...

leroy said...

My dog observed that the BSNYC hat brim brings out the red in my eyes.

I'm not sure what he means because he's the one who always has red eye in photographs.

On the other hand, I'm pretty sure he was being snarky when he opined that I didn't present a fair test of the hat's moisture wicking properties because, for a fat person, I don't sweat much.

Ride safe all!

And if you see my dog, tell him he's in trouble. Again.

JLRB said...

I need to study more - watching a video from a camera mounted int eh scranus of a recumbafatti is painful - although the first time they stopped was cool - the bike on front of the recumber has a rear fender that wags like a dogs tail

DB said...

Hey, Kids! I'm in NYC! Rented a place on Barrow Street in the West Village. Come join us. We'll walk around tonight and pee in front of people's' apartments. Ready to Rule the East River Sunday. What a great city you folks live in.

crosspalms said...

JLRB,
That was my favorite part too. I confess I only made it through about 2 minutes, though.

Red-letter day, though: 2 prime ministers!

Buffalo Bill said...

Whole lotta gettin' off the fat recumbent and walkin'

Anonymous said...

Pretty sure Jens is the oldest. DOB: Sept. 17, 1971. Horner was born October 23, 1971, according to the internets. And who knew he was Japanese?

McFly said...

OK OK I bought a hat. Boy WALZ turns into a Stage 5 Clinger after you click the PAY NOW icon.

You like us. You really like us!

wtf

Anonymous said...

So Snobby is attending the World SMuT fest. Explains a lot.

cycle

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
babble on said...

Spell check check.

What a hot douche you make, snobberdooderdoo. Er, is that a tattoo? Pictures, please and thank you!

dancesonpedals said...

i was hoping one of the ladies would put a pair on the podium again..

Anonymous said...

I applaud your What About Bob? reference. Such a beautifully delivered, classic line.

Don't Hassle Me
I'm Local

RoadQueen said...

Fat Recumbent? Now we're talking!!!!

I'm going to hypothesize that it would be better to have a fat TRIKE recumbent to do the off roading on, rather than a 2-wheeler. Because slow speed balance loss sucks.

It hurts, too.

McFly said...

Those are some borderline pointers in the bonus vid. Bonus in the bonus.

babble on said...

Wow! Look at all of the political capital on offer today. But it's a scam, their alleged interest in the bicycle. Everyone knows that the leaders of ther free world are all just lackeys for all of the world's short-sighted, major multi-national corporations.

babble on said...

I tried for the podium, but today's drugs failed me. Plus that was a hella fast sprint!

Anonymous said...

just wondering if chamois crème could be made in peperoni pizza flavor ?

Anonymous said...

Mile high Weed summit

Bama Phred said...

Yeah World Smut is the first thing that came to my mind. Just KMN if I had to listen to someone make the case for and against ebikes and fat bikes on trails. After all who am I to deny the differently abled their right to a nice trail ride or someone's choice of bicycle.
But think of the Strava KOM possibilities. MTN Fred's everywhere are sweating that issue.

JLRB said...

Electric Assist Fat Tire Recumbent = Hyundi Hybrid

JB said...

XTR cantis? Well la-dee-da.

JB said...

E-bikes on trails: No, it has a motor. Very simple line to draw.

Bama Phred said...

Yes, pointers noted also. Maybe Snob needs to wash his biek if even the insects are sticking to the frame. Don't really need to know what made it sticky. TMI.

Court said...

I used to think e-bikes are for lazy riders and cheaters, until I blew out my knee. I'm now considering a mid-drive electric assist so I can keep riding to work. I think full electric where no pedaling is involved is more categorized as a motorcycle, but assist is ok for the trails. The people with e-bikes in this sense around me (San Jose) are respectable commuters, using their bells, not riding too fast, and usually old people with blown out knees like me. Still safer than the racer-freds.

JLRB said...

OK - I was going to hold out for a t-shirt, but since now t-shirts appear in the offing, I am leaning towards the woohoohat - but I am stumped - there are two sizes - not being a hat guy I am uncertain - I need cone tits to stop by with her man hands to measure my head

JLRB said...

now = no with crap typing skills

no does not = now, unless you are that creepy date rape singer dude

DB said...

Um, Snob,
People are riding bikes on the sidewalks down here.

Bama Phred said...

Hat sizing question. I'm on the high side of the small/medium. Usually wear a 7 1/4 - 7 1/2. New Era. Order the small/medium or the large/xlarge. I'm sure WCRM would say both.
This may help others also.

JLRB said...

DB - Politely ask them to take the example of the respectful delivery-bike peeps. (And then duck)

Schwinng said...

I figured that since the library let me read your books for free, I'd suck it up and buy your ugly hat...your welcome...

David Pearce said...

Risks and Challenges:

That's a very good question.

None that I can see, there are no pending hurdles in my life to get in the way of this project.


Or as Susie Greene succinctly explained to Jeff Greene,

"It's gone! The brooch is gone!
Jeff, I'm going to kill you.
You Cock Sucker,
Mother Fucker!!"

That's about it for me. I'm done.

alpaca lips (not Punky's) said...

Was it round,
And did it have,
a motor?
Or was it something different?

Greenbelt said...

Why are all these big conferences called "summits?" Why not "valleys" or "troughs" or "cols" or "base camps" or something?

Greg "Rancid Peach" LeMond said...

Hat sizing question. How much diahrrea will a sm/med hold?

JLRB said...

OK - Cone Tits just stopped by and she says my head is massive. What a grip. Drip drip drip.

I am going to go deal with this annoying web site to buy a hat that I can guarantee will never win me a race (gotta play to win)

One Trek Pony said...

I can make one of Snob's hat vanish. Not once, not twice, but three times... I call it my hat trick.

JLRB said...

Taa-daa!

WTF - They really put little balls all over the testicular cancer hat? I'm holding out for the breast cancer hat

W. Etter said...

Methinks Snob's hats qualities would make them useful as diapers.

Anonymous said...

MTN SMMT
BYAHAT
RDE SFE

DB said...

Bama:
Go with the L/XL.

boston's inferiority complex said...

Boston commute update: haven't seen the elliptical bike people in a while, but I was shoaled by two people on a vintage steel tandem this morning. I wasn't even mad - it takes a lot of skill and coordination to do that on a tandem. and holy crap can those things go fast.

Anonymous said...

yes, quiz fail as pointed out below, jens is older than chris horner. Nice work snob, thanks for stopping by

Spokey said...

usually snobbie fixes his mistakes. he must be out today snagging a photo gallery of pointies.

Was out earlier myself searching but only found rounders. Both were salmoning on the US highway running through town. Must say that salmoning does provide longer gawking time though.


Bet snobbie has snagged about 2520 pointies today.

BamaPhred said...

DB Thanks, Some things are better tight, but I like my hats just right!

Roille Figners said...

Everybody's trading their bikes for guns. Heck maybe I'll trade MY bike for a gun. Except the only time I feel like I need a gun, is when I'm riding the dagdurn bike with these ANIMALS.

You know what I need to trade away, is this muh fuggin WATCH. It's "self winding" meaning if you don't slavishly wear it every day it fuggin stops at a hundred and four bl'glock. THANKS A LOT.

Spokey said...

I traded away my bow for a bike. Just the bow. No arrows. I guess he can try using the bow like a bat or try to garrote someone with the bow string. Kept the 12 ga.

Don't see what's wrong with having both a biek and a gun.

Warlord Spearmint said...

Can I have my license plate back now?

Ronnie Van Zant said...

Gimme back my bullets

BamaPhred said...

Snob's twitter been blowing up with another case of video road rage

@bikesnobnyc: Just dropped Santa Paula PD a line to share Police Reserve Officer @LauraWeintraub 's latest video with them.

Anonymous said...

That insect shoulda known better than to go get tangled up in brakes like that. Serves it right. A sterling example of Darwinism at work.

However, in that same mutilated insect photo it's evident there's a couple of disturbing things going on...

1) the cable that pulls up on the calipers appears to have nothing more than one of those little condom things that you shove onto the end of cables acting as a stopper type thing. No way could that withstand even a moderate tug on the lever. What's with that?

2) that one insect dismembering couldn't have resulted in so much bloodstain on the Kool Stops. Is this like a hunting bike, or something?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 6:18pm,

The cable is held firmly in place by bolts on the other side of the cable hanger.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

AYHSMB said...

I did not know that you are all tatted up,Snob. I want some sweet tats, of my own design and uniqueness, but alas and alack, I have a skin condition that can only be helped with the prednesone,(a steroid)which makes my skin like tissue paper, and thus, tattooist artistes avoid me like the plague. But I can wear a a sweet BSNYC cap. Win.

Spokey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spokey said...

BikeSnobNYC said. Anonymous 6:18pm,

The cable is held firmly in place by bolts

Even I can see that and I've only got one eye to do it with.

that's not blood. that colour designates koolstops snobbie uses while salmoning

Roille Figners said...

So what gives with at-Laura-Weintraub, hashtag-blowme? "This video has been removed by the user."

Anonymous said...

"The cable is held firmly in place by bolts on the other side of the cable hanger." ~ thus spake Snobby.

Ahh, excellent idea! I've shed litres of my own blood fitting and adjusting hangers of less advanced design -- which accounts for the bloodstains on my Kool Stops, but you've still got some explaining to do...

Thanks for the info though, I shall now attempt to avail myself some similarly handsome hangers. Good day to you, sir.

B Clinton said...

Hey Snob, how about a little head... The circumference of my cranium is not that grand, so I hope one can get a small cap.

Anonymous said...

" Spokey said...
BikeSnobNYC said. Anonymous 6:18pm,

The cable is held firmly in place by bolts

Even I can see that and I've only got one eye to do it with."

Bugger off, Spokey!

There's no visible evidence of bolts, unless you're talking about the bolt holding the fender in place? If you had two eyes, you would've had the depth perception that comes with stereo vision to notice there's a gap between the the hanger and the fender bolt.

But anyway, this blog still publishes old fashioned 2D photos and there's still no hanger bolts to be sighted.

You need to apologise, Spokey!

ken e. said...

someone needs to learn to spell. and get with the old school xtr.

Spokey said...

apologize to some asshole who greets me with "bugger off"?

I think not. Looking back at the pic, you may very well be right. But you're still an asshole

You're all idiots said...

"Bugger off" is a term of endearment. If you weren't such a know-it-all arsehole, you'd have known that.

It's still not too late to apologise, Spokey...

and Ken E needs to learn how to capitalise

Spokey said...

not around here it's not.

which should be obvious by my reply.

Do I take it to mean that around your area asshole is not a term of endearment?

ken e. said...

thanks there anon, but for the record, i set type for a living.

FUCK OFF!
JUAN A.B.

Spokey said...

but enjoy your weekend

and enjoy a bike ride

ken e. said...

second that, and sorry if the cubicle view has me snapping like a little dog.

You're all idiots, but I love youse anyway said...

Pfft.

Around my area, Spokey, it's already the fucken weekend and instead of enjoying it and a bike ride, I'm having to deal with you empty-headed yokels.

No, "asshole" is not a term of endearment around here. Around here it's not a term of any description. In cultured circles, with which you are obviously unfamiliar, the term is "arsehole" and may or may not be a term of endearment -- I expect it's too subtle and nuanced for you to understand so I shan't bother explaining the finer details to you.

and what a deadshit Ken E turns out to be; he not only boasts of his superior knowledge of "old school xtr", but claims to be employed as a typesetter. the only people who set type these days are artisanal hipster wankers.

Nevertheless, in the name of maintaining this uneasy peace that appears to have broken out, I too extend my wishes to all that the weekend and bike rides be enjoyed.

ce said...

Well, I finally caved and bought a cap, but not the new sweat wicking cap. Despite living in one of the hottest and driest countries on the planet I got the wool cap, because as an Australian I am a fucking idiot who thinks I'm still going to have to worry about keeping warm in the future.

ce said...

Anon 8:52,you sound like a fucking idiot from down-unda too. Go buy yourself a wool cap and see if you can sweat that bug out of your arse.

Anonymous said...

It gets trolly up in here on Fridays!

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
babble on said...

LOL!

Two lovely young blonde women - hotties - seriously checked me out when I pulled up to the bike rack outside of IGA today. One of them said something to the other.

Then I heard one of them say "I can hardly ride with two hands," to which I replied "It's just like sex. You never forget."

Heh heh. The look on their faces was divine. Then they clocked the shoes. I made two new friends today. :)

Anonymous said...

Is IGA the Into Girls Association? I Got Ass? Interested Girls Approach? Intimate Groans Accepted?

That could explain it.

Unless it's the International Grocer's Association.

babble on said...

Geez. Way to put me on the spot! I have no idea what it stands for, but take your pick...

They were WAY too young for me, and waiting on a bus, but maybe now they'll reconsider riding a bike. :)

Anonymous said...

Tilford's first day back on the road bike and already the attacks come.

Spokey said...

getting time to line up for the centurion sprint

Spokey said...

was a perfect day over here in snobbies hemorrhoids. even the black F350s were giving wide berth.

Spokey said...

93

Dooth said...

I'm wearing the original BSNYC cap the next time on the Old Putman trail. If our paths cross, I'll ask Wildcat to autograph it... in blood.

Anonymous said...

I mentioned the word "vulvanus" to my wife today. Her first thought was that it sounded like a luxury car.

DB said...

96.
I'll report in tomorrow after the swim if I don't drown.
Great day in the city.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

97 Good luck to you and your immune system DB.

Spokey said...

98 don't do it DB

and where is bama & JFRB

They competing for Lanterne Rouge?

McFly said...

All I wanna do is rooma zoom zoom. ....

McFly said...

In your boom boom.......just shake your rump.

McFly said...

I bycycle cycled not only to another town but to another state. Met the fam and did the Applebys. Headwinds all the way so I had to dig deep into my make up case of excuses to maintain an 18.

babble on said...

Lol! Good on ya, boom boom. XX

Anonymous said...

From the LA Times: "Meet Laura Weintraub, horrible person, incompetent videographer, and utter moron," said a Twitter poster with the handle bikesnobNYC who linked to the video.

Anonymous said...

Somebody sucks at setting up canti's.

JLRB said...

Anon - here is a link to the LA Times idiot article

Here's hoping people soon go back to lawyer and banker jokes and leave the "jokes" about killing and maiming innocent cyclists be...

BamaPhred said...

All I can think about DB in the East River is the Seinfeld episode about Kramer taking his swimming workout to the turd channel. "Man look at that guy, he sank like a rock!"

Lots of luck and dodge the bodies!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 12:34pm,

You?

Somebody also sucks at apostrophe's.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Spokey said...

no, no, no

the pizza is silent.

you need to read it as

Somebody sucks at setting up canti's pizza

obliquely referring to the establishment Wild Bill works for and his inadequate delivery methods.

Spokey said...

did DB live?

If not, why did he not tell the tale

Spokey said...

110 - at this rate we'll never get a double centurion out of Friday's pos't

Spokey said...

and I wish I had canti's (pizza) to set up rather than the stupid linear pull's (hoagies) on my main biek.

JLRB said...

Cantu' apostrophes suck

David Pearce said...

Dear Wildcat Rock Machine,

Have received Woo-Ho-ho-ho-Hoo Cap & Book, which will reserve for future post to comment about.

However, I suppose you will be forced to respond about good ol' Laura Weintraub Stellino later today, and no doubt there is plenty of fatty gristle to plunge your efficient repacking fangs into.

I do hope you use some of your hyper valuable time to comment on her Mom, Debra Cummings, and just what the hell an "Energy Practitioner" actually is!

David Pearce,
Charlottesville, Va.

David Pearce said...

BTW,

How is it that the new Australian PM, Tony Abbott, walks down the stairs of the motel he's staying in, just like a hobbit,

....AND IN HIS BARE FEET (?)

WHAT THE HELL? NOT EVEN IN HIS FRED SHOES BEFORE VENTURING OUTSIDE THE MOTEL ROOM?


David Pearce,
Charlottesville, Va.

McFly said...

Augustus 20th is a Weednesday. You cant spell imPlicaTiOns without POT.

DB said...

I'm alive! It was great! I'll tell you more on today's post.
Thanks.

Bama Phred said...

Apparently Energy Practioner, Scam Artist, and Snake Oil Salesperson are all same thing, would you like some vibrational energy stones to go along with your hate video? No? Maybe some personal vortex scranus zorching salve.

Spokey said...

I'm an energeeee practitioner. Just a low energeee practitioner.

pardon me, but I need a rest after all this typing.

RoadQueen said...

DB! So glad you lived! Did you encounter any whitefish? Cigarfish? Dead bodies?

Can't wait to hear more!

Center for Disease Control said...

DB report to the wash down chamber immediately.

Bernie said...

How can cyclists claim their place on the roadway with motor vehicles when cyclists are fighting cyclists over which type of bicycle is permitted on a non-motorized trail?!?!?

Anonymous said...

The only excuse for that lame brake set-up is if you need heel clearance in which you have put yourself in the shitty situation of riding a bike that makes it look like you don't know how to work on bikes. But I guess if you rare vintage mountain bike brakes and are desperate to show them off you make that sacrifice? Or maybe you don't ride aggressively so you don't need the extra power that having the arms canted outward more and the pads extended in more would provide? But you do write aggressively...

http://sheldonbrown.com/cantilever-geometry.html

e-bikes said...

good blogging!