Monday, July 21, 2014

One down, a gazillion to go.

First of all, give yourselves a great big "high five."

This past Friday, as I was crawling through the bowels of YouTube for Friday Fun Quiz wrong answer videos, I came across an anti-veloist rant that had recently been posted by one Laura Weintraub:



In it, she travels the streets in an automobile expressing her disdain for cyclists and her desire to run them over.  It was pretty much exactly like the Keith Maddox thing--if, instead of being a living caricature of an Alabamian, Maddox were a stereotypical Southern California bottle blonde being chauffeured about town by a willing "himbo."

Anyway, I tweeted about the video, and other people did too.  Then somebody pointed out that, in addition to being a demonstrable idiot and possible sociopath, Laura Weintraub was also a reserve police officer, and it wasn't long before the cycling "Twitterati" figured out that the department she "served" was that of the city of Santa Paula.  Armed with this information, I sent them an email bringing their attention to the video, and presumably numerous other velocipedists contacted them too.

In the meantime, Laura Weintraub deleted her YouTube video as well as the "tweet" linking to it.  (As I recall, the tweet said something like, "I can't be the only person who feels this way, can I?")  However, the video lives on, because the Internet never forgets.

By Saturday, Keith Maddox's SoCal alter-ego had been "placed on leave:"


"Meet Laura Weintraub, horrible person, incompetent videographer, and utter moron," said a Twitter poster with the handle bikesnobNYC who linked to the video.

Uh, "a Twitter poster with the handle..."?  Wow, the Los Angeles Times is really out of it!  The appropriate attribution for someone of my stature is "the internationally-acclaimed cycling blogger and author."  Southern California is truly a cultural wasteland.

Laura Weintraub also issued an apology:

I would like to apologize to all those who have been offended by what was intended to be a satirical video on cyclists. It was never meant to be hurtful or harmful in anyway, I am a human being, I made a mistake, I have learned from this and ask for your forgiveness. The responses have shown me overwhelmingly just how hurtful my comments were to some and that is not at all what I intended. As soon as I knew, I removed the video immediately. 

Translation: "I'm a soul-less person with a feeble intellect who is desperate for fame and would sell my mother to be on a reality show.  I really do hate cyclists, but because my video didn't get the response I wanted I'm taking it down.  I may have strong opinions and beliefs, but none of them are stronger than my borderline psychotic desire for favorable attention.  I will move on to baiting other groups of people who are less social media-savvy."

And now she's resigned:

Santa Paula Police Department

The purpose of this post is to advise the community that I have accepted the resignation of Volunteer Reserve Officer Laura Weintraub. Her resignation is effective today. I believe that Ms. Weintraub did the right thing for everyone involved and wish her nothing but the best for her and her family.

Chief Steven McLean

I've seen some griping on the Tweeter that she should have been charged, but public embarrassment and subsequent resignation precipitated entirely by a bunch of pissed-off cyclists feels pretty good to me.

So go ahead and smack your screen in a great big virtual collective high five for a job well done.*

*[Please note that BSNYC Industries, LLC shall not be responsible for damage to your computer, tablet, or smartphone device.]  

Indeed, the good news with regard to Ms. Weintraub was merely the cream cheese on the bagel of what was, for me, a lovely weekend of bicycle cycle riding.  On Saturday I rode a bike with the curved-type handlebars like they use in the Tour de France, and on Sunday I rode a rugged all-terrain bicycle with knobbly tires and dick breaks--all without crossing bridges, utilizing automobiles, or dealing with any other inconvenience:


One day I'll write a glowing testimonial to my little corner of New York City and how it affords easy access to some of the best bicycle cycling in the tri-state area, though probably not until it's time for me to put my mansion on the market and move to the countryside, where I will open a do-it-yourself "farm to table" restaurant called "U-Bludgeon."  (We give you a pig, a hammer, a grill, and a bottle of our delicious artisanal barbecue sauce, and you do the rest.)

In the meantime, hopefully the Freds of New York stick with Brooklyn and their hour-long slogs to the George Washington Bridge as they're beset by herds of tridorks with aerobars heading inexorably towards Nyack like migrating elks:


If you can't draw a direct line between the rival gangs of 19th century New York and the various cycling clubs and fondos of modern-day New York City then an astute student of history you are not.

Speaking of New York City and old-timey chicanery, here's a New York Times profile of a man who practices the dying art of pocket-pickery:


If you're unfamiliar with picking pockets, it's basically an artisanal form of embezzling whereby you actually appropriate paper money by hand:


And as it happens, the subject of the profile plans to stop picking pockets and become a bike messenger:

He is a slight man but has long, insistent fingers, and eyes set wide apart. Pickpockets call each other “shotplayers.” Asked to reflect on his career, Mr. Rose said, “Shotplayer — I don’t even want to hear that word anymore.”

After his release, he vowed, he will reform. “I’m done with this life,” he said. “I’m going to buy a bike and become a messenger. That’s what I’m going to do. I want a job.”

In other words, he's basically leaving one obsolete and moribund profession for another.  Historically speaking, this is a lateral career move, and at that rate he might as well just become a cooper:



Though I'm sure there are three or four thriving coopersmiths on Bedford Avenue already.

I imagine wooden barrel-like "bidons" would go over rather well in the trendier precincts of the city, though there's still nothing more "cycle chic" than climbing a hill while "scarfing" a baguette:



You riding a bike and eating a baguette sandwich- love you girl! - m4w - 39 (Midtown)
age : 39

I saw you go by on 47 and 2 by the park- you were heading up the incline and scarfing the baguette... I shouted out "yeah girl"

If you ever want to ride bikes with a good looking bike boy who is fun- let me know.


Sounds like a good way to choke on some breadcrumbs.

128 comments:

Morning Machine Fred said...

PODIUM!!??

Bodhi said...

Podium!

Anonymous said...

Do I win?

MBenson said...

Excellent post, and righteous!

1904 Cadardi said...

2nd?

SQNYC said...

Crap!

Spokey said...

at least top 10?

JLRB said...

top something

8===> said...

Hating people on bicycles aside that woman should be bared from being a cop because she's clearly fucking crazy.

babble on said...

Wooot! Good work, twitter poster with the handle bikes snobNYC!

JLRB said...

So first, congrats on the victory!

Second, WTF is a "Volunteer Reserve Officer"???

DB said...

Ok. The swim.
They let our wave go fifty minutes after it was scheduled due to some River traffic. By then, the tide shifted and the current changed and we were being slammed into the Manhattan Bridge truncheon and once out into the main channel the current was heavy. I was headed for Queens along with 100 of my friends and they started pulling us out because we weren't getting anywhere fast. But it was fun! Almost made it across, but better to be safe. Thanks for worrying about me.

babble on said...

Fucking auto-corrrect. Doesn't this stupid computer KNOW you're an internationally acclaimed cycling blogger and author?

dancesonpedals said...

DB-

What a bummer. I guess it's harder to close a river than prospect park. Better careful than roadkill...or river kill...or the Krell or something

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...one down... a gazZzzz

Bryan said...

Dammit! If I didn't read first, and subsequently decide to munch on my lunch before really reading, I would have gone in for first. Oh well.
Solid article today, and a Monday at that!

Spokey said...

DB

the question is why oh why?

Where you being chased down by Laura Weintraub? Was she lobbing
Support Stones your way?

dnk said...

Good work, BSNYC.

Remember the takedown of George Rekers? The takedown of Laura Weintraub feels almost that good...

Anonymous said...

http://www.stuff.co.nz/motoring/10286840/Toyota-wants-to-help-you-scream-at-your-unruly-kids

From Plutarco.

Roille Figners said...

You forgot "ugly whore." HAPPY MONDAY!

Yeah Cleveland! said...

I get two high fives. I attained woohoo + speed on yesterday's Fred ride. But no hat for me, not my style. Nor was the speed for that matter. I kept picturing all that could go wrong.

McFly said...

I knew shit was gonna get real when you slipped on that sleuthing hat.

aDayLateAndaDollarShortBot9000 said...

Am I the last one to notice this?

http://www.outsideonline.com/news-from-the-field/Airbus-Wants-You-to-Sit-on-a-Bikein-a-Plane.html

Herschel Raney said...

Have officially ordered my snob fireball hat. And another damn brewery hat that was just too nice to pass up. Makes three Walz caps since following the bloggering of BSNYC. What a sucker.

I will NOT be forwarding a selfie of me in the cap on a podium or off. You can thank me now.

I did experience the ecstasy of a duel flat tire this weekend after a deer went batshit as usual and ran around and beside me (I think once even over me) causing me to hit a road repair shelf that should have just blatantly unseated me and caused my death, but just double flatted me. Shit.

And a local mountain biker this weekend died in a race after she landed pretty much on her face at high speed. She died in the chopper. So my flats seem trivial now. Be careful out there.

NHcycler said...

@aDayLateAndaDollarShortBot9000:

Probably

Anonymous said...

I'm going to the U Bludgeon once they get a drive thru.

. . . so this off duty police chick in a Honda Accord yells at me for not following "the Law" and taking a whole lane to myself at Hamilton and 3rd Ave and 18th Street under the Gowanus Expressway (due to huge holes at the side of the lane nearest the sidewalk). I yell back that I am allowed to under "the Law" you stupid Bi... [then notice the NYPD uniform]. ... it's just a ride to and from work, go ahead, yell and scream all you want.

Internationally Ashamed Bicycle Rider.

vsk

Bama Phred said...

A volunteer reserve police officer has to resign. If it had been a real member of the tax feeding gendarme persuasion they would have defended the video and arrested the world famous bike blogger for obstruction and hindering an officer. Move along, nothing to see here, move along.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

Laura is BUSTED!!!

dnk said...

aDayLateAndaDollarShortBot9000:

I think Babble already noticed it.

Bama Phred said...

Laura sez

Don't hate me, I'm hawt.

babble on said...

Day late and a dollar short - nope. You're not alone. I wrote about that particular sardine can plan last week! :D

babble on said...

Lol! Cheers, dnk. xo

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...i can see Laura Weintraub's acting carrying picking up following her fame after getting the 'bump' from a world famous blogger.

I mean... just watch this trailer for her last feature. she wakes up a man, or rather, a man wakes up in her body...

...her next movie she will play the role of a bike messenger who is handicapped by a cop.

Bama Phred said...

SG. what a call! Starring in a 6 minute "action" film. Whatever could it be?

crosspalms said...

SG
Nice find! Maybe she'll appear in "Scarfing the Baguette" next.

Anonymous said...

In the words of Sherlock Holmes, "I'm not a psychopath. I'm a high-functioning sociopath." In that woman's case, she is probably a psychopath.

cycle

CommieCanuck said...

"Scarfing the baguette"..so that's what the kids call it today.

CommieCanuck said...

So what's with this handle of yours Snob?, I hope to Lob it's not crabon.

CommieCanuck said...

Weintraub...moron, poor judgment, but socialmediagenic, this can only mean one thing: she resigned the police to run for congress.

crosspalms said...

DB
Glad you're OK! I can ride in traffic without worrying, but the idea of swimming across a river -- WITH BOATS ON IT -- gives me the willies. Hope they had podium girls for you.

P. Bateman said...

i couldn't make it through the entire video of cupholder commentary.

and not because i was outraged, but because her commentary is just truly, truly awful.

i mean, its just soooo unfunny i couldn't take it. "where is your spandex guy?" and then another "where is your spandex", "did you outgrow your spandex".

my god. if you are going to host a "show" at least maybe work on your material.

it was just bad comedy and i've been training hard for that sort of experience by reading this blog for years. SNAP!!!!!!

j/k snobber. you're the best.

Anonymous said...

This Laura person is all over the Low Brow Culture:

http://www.mlrh.com/Laura-Weintraub.html

Comment deleted said...

Well done, sir. I'm busy at the moment imagining a forced mating between Keith Maddox and Laura Weintraub, and the sort of Gollum-like offspring that would result.

JLRB said...

What a movie career she has - looks like pornos without the benefits of porno. Rumor has it she tried for porno but, she was, like, that girl in the porno, the one without deodorant, so nobody would "act" with her.

Anonymous said...

I always let out a Yeeaaahhhh Giiirrrrrll when I am getting my baguette scarfed.

Bama Phred said...

How about Keith and Laura wake up in each other's body, and proceed to use it for an amusement park. This could be revolting

Bama Phred said...

As far as Alabama and SoCal stereotypes are concerned, I'm open for trades.

Dooth said...

Give Laura Whinetraub a break, she apologized.

Jean-Francois Caron said...

While I'm glad that an anti-bike law-enforcementy-type was pressured to apologize & resign, I wonder how much of the online rage & doxxing was motivated by misogyny. I bet a male volunteer cop doing similar stuff wouldn't have gotten such a virulent backlash.

I left my reurint case in my other pants.

JLRB said...

BamaPhred @1:18 with an early lead

TomRH said...

As of this morning she had 87 followers. Its a festivus miracle that anyone even found out about her video.

BullMooonRider said...

Bike hating nut in a car..

1 down

10 million more to go

Anonymous said...

Snobby,

Your comments about old-timey coopers does not reflect the modern demand for barrels --- http://www.omaha.com/money/one-result-of-the-growing-demand-for-american-whiskey-an/article_fc6e3e96-8ef3-5606-a09d-f0df7e40a242.html

David Pearce said...

Dear WCR Machine,

I am so loving the new Woo-Hoo Cap with its wicking action, just so good for trying to get through these shockingly stupid-humid summer days. Don't know how it feels up in NYC, but in the DC area it is just soul crushing.

You say our "friend" Laura Weintraub shouldn't be prosecuted for what she posted. I don't think so either. After all, she took down the video and "apologized".

What she oughta be prosecuted for is LEAVING UP ALL THOSE OTHER VAPID, RIDICULOUS, SHALLOW VIDEOS ON HER "CUP HOLDER COMMENTARY"!

If I want to waste time on the internet, I'll read your blog! And anyway, your site is not a wasteland of time, you impart good information.

God save us from the morons! "God save the People!"

David,
D.C.

Anonymous said...

Not sure you can be "charged" for driving around in a car and videoing herself hating on cyclists. Not even sure she deserved to lose her reserve cop job over it. the whole freedom of speech thing. people are entitled to their opinions no matter how stupid they might be. Other than the run into / over cyclists comment it wasn't particularly aggressive or threatening. in short, while I disagree with her hate of bikers, I don't necessarily give a shit because she is an idiot and I don't think there is a conflict with that and her position as a rent-a-cop, in fact probably a correlation.

Anonymous said...

Decades of empathy sought by Jews ruined by one hate-filled rant. Shameful!

Anonymous said...

Really?! Wow, you're a dooth! Wait, I'm sorry.

Anonymous said...

Here, here, truth-sayer!

David Pearce said...

ℵ Of course, the nice thing about coopered barrels, is that the small ones are made with 6 and 1/3 staves of wood, 6 full-width staves plus one 1/3rd-width filler piece....

.....Close enough to 6.28, in other words 2ח, once around the circumference of a circle.

....Of course, I realize I've used the Hebrew letter "het" to stand in for the Greek letter "pi", but I can't find my pi right now and I gotta go!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Jean-Francois Caron,

No, they would.

Anonymous 1:59pm,

There is freedom of speech but there is no freedom to have whatever job you want. Her video was basically an advertisement for the fact she should have no involvement whatsoever with law enforcement. If there had not been that connection people would simply have exercised their free speech to call her an idiot and leave it at that.

--Wildcat Rock machin

Anonymous said...

When you're in a position of authority, yes, hatred of those you are able to exercise power over is a serious conflict.

And a reserve officer is an unpaid volunteer, not a rent-a-cop.

Paulo said...

Wrong, he'd probably had gotten a stronger backlash. Whereas she probably got less because of her sex and hair color...people limited themselves to responding because she's a dumb blonde girl.

Society expects considerably more of men than women. That's why women are belittled and men are crucified. Defy convention someday and see how the world treats you.

Plain_Jim said...

Bag the Weintraub, who cares about anything else... THE MOST IMPORTANT thing in your post was this:

[Please note that BSNYC Industries, LLC shall not be responsible for damage to your computer, tablet, or smartphone device.]

I am all giddy at the proper use of the Oxford Comma. Oh, my stars.

1904 Cadardi said...

Wow,

I think I'm sprinting for 2nd and end up 5th? Was I even looking? Why not just throw a victory salute from the back of the pack. I hearby hand in my US Cycling Blog Commentariat license. It's back to the citizens for me.

I have friends that run small wineries and distilleries. They go through hundreds of wooden barrels every year. Being a coopersmith (as Anon @1:50 pointed out) has much better career prospects than bicycle messengery. But unlike like messengering it requires skill, effort and the use of power tools capable of easily severing fingers and is therefor incompatible with massive drug use which excludes every messengerer I've known.

Stuart Rasmussen said...

This isn't even the craziest Laura photo....

Paulo said...

Hmm, speaking of crucifixion: Why wasn't Mary crucified along with Jesus to prevent her from spawning another god...probably because she had a chick-pass. So instead they likely belittled her...haha, silly Mary thinks her son is the Son of God.

Another fine Craigslist Ad said...

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Colors: Matte Green

You must be here because the IRS is about to give you a ton of cash back on your tax return. You can stop looking now because you're about to buy a rare KONA Professional Dirt Jumping Bike!

Some questions that you're probably asking yourself right now. . .

"Man, how much faster will this bike make me?" This bike is definitely too fast for you, and you shouldn't buy it. However, if you are man enough to saddle up on this steed. . . be prepared for exponential wattage gains! Warp speed is for children. This bike goes ludicrous speed. Your legs cannot keep up with how fast this wants to go.
"What logos are on the bike?" - Only the best logos in cycling. Each logo should gain you an extra KOM a week on Strava or get you to the coffee shop faster than your friends, leaving them panting for air. They are definitely going to make you cooler than whatever is on your bike currently, so live with it.
"What colors are bike?" - Awesome, rad, and sick.
"Why is the bike getting sold?" - The owner stole too many KOMs on Strava and got banned from riding.

commentatorbot_i3709345 said...

I bet Major League Roller Hockey gets more viewers than the average industrial park crit.


Major. League. ROLLER. Hockey.


"I'm a professional athlete.... Hockey..... Oh, no roller hockey..."


That girl Laura needs to leverage this opportunity!! Put a gun in her hand and she can complain about her rights being threatened and whatever other nonsense you want to throw in there.

Go 'mericuh! With guns!!!

Roille Figners said...

I stand by my misogyny - since it only applies to homicidal-ass Laura Weintraub, and since I was in fact TRYING to say the most vicious and carelessly hateful thing I could think of -- in HER presumed value system, not mine. Note that I left out "dumb," since obviously she could give a shit. I should've added "fat" though.

CommieCanuck said...

Dooth said...

Give Laura Whinetraub a break, she apologized.


After she was outed and was going to lose her position.
We in Toronto don't take much credence from forced apologies, and it's only a matter if time before Weintraub does something even stupider.
My guess, stupid is now a DISEASE.

CommieCanuck said...

I thought Laura Weintraub was a tranny...does this make me misogynist or homophobic?

commentatorbot_i3709345 said...

Snob,

The better story from L.A. was a couple of days before yours.

http://www.latimes.com/local/cityhall/la-me-bike-lane-backlash-20140716-story.html#page=1

Got to keep increasing those average speeds for cars in L.A.

Anonymous said...

Hey man if it weren't for all the sexism holding her back, she'd have achieved Margaret Thatcher/Maya Angelou/Mother Teresa status by now.

leroy said...

My dog has been singing:

She came in through the You Tube window
Projected like a ranting loon
But now she sucks her thumb and wanders
By the banks of her own lagoon

Didn't anybody tell her?
Didn't anybody see?
A bike blogger on the Right Coast,
Saw your videography

So Laura quit the police department
It was not a steady job
And though we think she'll run for Congress
She’s crack addled like Ford, Rob.

Didn't anybody tell her?
Didn't anybody see?
There’s a twitter post on Sunday
Straight from Bee Ess En Why Cee.
(Oh yeah)

ubercurmudgeon said...

What I wouldn't give for a large sock with horse manure in it.

leroy said...

DB --

My dog asked me to inform you that the BSNYC moisture wicking hat would make a good East River crossing swim cap.

He tested mine in the shower this week.

Probably explains why it smells like wet dog.

Spokey said...

Anonymous @ 1:50 PM

Several my favorite libations use used casks. some use wine (like sherry) and some use american bourbon casks.

I think all that I have noticed were single malt scotches. I believe they were all used for finishing. I have also read that they can (at least in some cases) only used once or twice.

Unfortunately I am part of the problem as I am partial to Glen Morangie single malts (or Balvenie when the budget is a little tight).

But I'm trying to help by drinking more WoodFord Reserve & Maker's Mark.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I wonder my good man if perhaps you might be so gracious that upon my visit to your fine establishment "U-Bludgeon" to allow me to dispatch the hog with my handcrafted Native American style osage orange flatbow and arrows as opposed to that messy hammer business?

Methinks that Winetraub wench is a worthless harlot.

Bung said...

Mock the cooper if thy will, but surely 'tis a means of staving off hunger.

Ps. I myself do fancy the barrel roll to the baguette.

Anonymous said...

somebody should shove a baguette up that paula chicks ass

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...seriously,

"I knew shit was gonna get real when you slipped on that sleuthing hat."

...is all that McFly said after a post that included a tall blonde that is practically 'asking' for sexual innuendo!!! something is awry.

Anonymous said...

Laura's, too.

I don't care if she's anti-bike, she just sounds like a dumb twat

S.C.R.A.N.U.S. said...

Scranus

Roille Figners said...

Bret shows up at U-Bludgeon with Best-Made Ax.

Singularity results.

Fred Nifacent said...

Poor Laura has Jack Nicholson "joker mouth" and the nose job was a little too aggressive on turning up the end...I think I can see boogers. Who would think someone who posted that masterpiece would be a shallow, vain ,moron?

The Artful Dodger said...

Seems to be there are coopers a plenty. If there be a dearth of vocations in artisanal society then the craft of the tinker is sorely lacking. This, I verbally project, be a grand career for our reformed pickpocket.

Tailor said...

Traveling ( by bike of course) and being a craftsman of 'the pot'. What a stellar idea.

Bama Phred said...

Farm to table U Bludgeon could include a u plow, plant, cultivate, harvest option. Shazam! You are self sustaining. Sort of. Have done this it sucked. Easier and cheaper to go to Publix.

DB said...

Thanks, Leroy.
Tell your dog they made us wear NYC Swim caps to find us floating amidst the flotsam. I would have done better with the Woo-Hoo cap.

Anonymous said...

What the Commie said about forced apologies, but also these apologies to "those who have been offended" shouldn't really count.

It's patronising and trite. It's almost a demeaning of those who have been offended. And "those" weren't just offended, they were vilified. Dehumanised -- her rant may well have inspired some fucknut in a car to squish a cyclist. If she were sincere, she'd have apologised for being a bigoted, twisted airhead, begged forgiveness and signed herself into rehab.

I'm not sure how I feel about our Snobby becoming a celebrity crusading twitter warrior, though. It might go to his head and he'll be pious and proper and demand everyone make pledges of allegiance to his blog and he'll set up a group cycling vigilantes called Snobby's Angels who'll be recognisable by those flaming racing stripe caps they'll all be forced to wear and they'll malevolently cruise artisanal neighbourhoods wreaking havoc...

That's sounds pretty cool, actually. Sign me up!

Anonymous said...

If someone did a quick search and replace on Ms. Weintraub's diatribe; for instance "rape" for "run-over" and swap "woman" in for "cyclist". I'm guessing she wouldn't find it quite as amusing.

It seems horrifying either way and I hope neither happens to anyone.

Fred of the Sea said...

Takedown? My sainted aunt! This sort of publicity is meat and drink to celebritrash.

Airline bicycle seats with pedals could protect against potentially deadly blood clots on intercontinental flights. The airline could also make you generate current to charge the batteries for the amenities in business class by stopping your media feed when your cadence slowed.

McFly said...

I wanted to fit in with the cool kids and hate her, too. But secretly she gave me a chubby. AND SHE IS WACK AS CRACK AND I KNOW THAT AND YET THE BLONDE LOCKS DRAW ME IN LIKE A HORNY LIL MOTH TO SO MANY PORCH LIGHTS. I need help.

McFly said...

Oh and youz guyz should get a hat cuz they are bad ass. Seriously they are like athleticky and shit.

rural 14 said...

rural 1st!
roads here so beat up that i am always taking a lane, riding in the middle - now vacationers from NY / NJ, graduates of Sauron's driving school...drive right up hollering to get out of their way / honking, because after all, they're on vacation...I'm in their way...i should die so they can get to the farmers market

Then very embarrassed when I say hello to them as they purchase their arugula from me - "Remember the mentally challenged bike rider you were blasting with your SUV horn - he waved at you and drooled? that was me. Tell me, do you like arugula?" So many of them urgently consult their phones. Sales dropping a little though

Fred of the Sea said...

All kinds of strange ideas give me wood (as in saturated balsa, these days), but not winegrapes of that particular terroir.

I could only buy a hat if no one else had one.

Spokey said...

thx McFly

we were starting to worry about your lack of timely input

dancesonpedals said...

hup

dancesonpedals said...

hup

Spokey said...

99

dancesonpedals said...

ho!

Spokey said...

thx dances for stuttering me to the 100

dancesonpedals said...

piss on you spokey

Spokey said...

104

hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah

dancesonpedals said...

my children thought that was hysterical

Spokey said...

your children?

Spokey said...

the oldest left home

the middle left town

the youngest left the state

I took the hint and stopped there

McFly said...

And lets face it....any woman that is self-absorbed and attention needy is bound to give a toe curling baguette scarfing.

Spokey said...

but that there lorna whiney is jest plane funny luking

dancesonpedals said...

the college sophomore, home for the next 4 weeks, who was leaning over my shoulder saying, "Aren't you done with the computer? I need to print something out"..just as I was pipped at the line after a poorly-timed sprint

Spokey said...

so one of your own progeny side swipes you with that Belkin team car.

wow talk about family cohesion

dancesonpedals said...

I was cursing the monitor & she thought it was funny..her younger sister & friend joined in mocking me

DB said...

Heard they had to pull 200 people out of the River Sunday due to the current. Lots of comments on NYCSwim Facebook page. I'll be back to bring honor to the BSNYC Swim team.

BamaPhred said...

Slept through the sprint. Am I the only one who thinks Laura the Baguette Scarfer looks different in the Twitter profile and the! I guess, real life video?

dancesonpedals said...

DB-

what a horror scene to pull so many out..

in 2 weeks I'll jump into Hudson (DQ if you dive in) for the NYC tri...simpler logistics, we're literally going with the flow...the pros start at 5:50,with a field of 4,000 it takes about 2 hours to get the rest of us in...low tide around 8:30, the earlier we go, the faster the current sweeping us along...last year, the tides were later & people were flying...81/2 minutes to go 1,500 meters...gotta respect the tide in the city

Blog Drafter said...

Whoa, late to the party. Yeah, Laura, yeah. Typically fake-boobed American pop culture genius in her own mind. Only made it through about 30 seconds of her vid, her leaning into the camera says a lot...look at me, I'm doing everything right, I'm a star, look at me, me, me!!!

Laura, no one cares. Goodbye. You're so:


shop term seen.

Anal Turd said...

It's either knobby tires or knobbly tyres. None of this mixing shite up.

semi serious cyclist said...

Wielding the justice, chasing down bike haters all the way on the left coast. Kudos.

DB said...

Dances on Pedals:
Respect the River. Good luck,

McFly said...

OK OK I watched the video. It took 38 seconds for my baguette to become completely unscarfable. It was as flaccid as a 3 lb slug in less than a minute.

Anonymous said...

I just dropped a Laura in the porcelen bowl after the morning coffee

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leroy said...

Sometimes I live in the city
Sometimes I live in the town
Sometimes I get me a notion
To jump in the river and ....

Well now that's odd. Can't remember the rest.

Anonymous said...

A quick peek at that cop shop shows some real winner s for their reserve officers!!

Stuart Rasmussen said...

DFL.....

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