Thursday, June 26, 2014

Et tu, NPR?

As cyclists, plenty of people out there hate us, but we can always count on the communists at National Public Radio to have our backs, right?

Wrong!
Not only is the underlying "logic" of this tweet completely stupid, but invoking comparisons to "Lance Armstrong" is the lowest form of cyclist baiting, as anyone who has had it shouted at them from a car window will attest.

In any case, the only way to answer Mr. Simon's question is with another question:

Any listen to Rush Limbaugh's radio show demonstrates he's an idiot.  Does that explain you?

Inasmuch as it follows the exact same logic as Mr. Simon's initial tweet I'm sure he'll find that, if he really thinks it through, it answers his own question concerning cyclists quite satisfactorily.

This isn't to say cyclists can't be dangerous, or that some of them don't think they're above the law, because yesterday in Brooklyn a cyclist fleeing the police rammed into the back of a flatbed truck and decapitated himself.

Oh, wait a minute, I meant driver, not cyclist:


Police say that Leroy Samuel, 22, was driving a 2003 black Infiniti eastbound on the BQE when he tried to exit at Atlantic Avenue. But he collided into a flatbed truck waiting at the light.

One witness told DNAinfo, "A couple cop cars were chasing him. The lights were flashing and the sirens were on." A bicyclist said to the Post, "When he exited here he was driving 70 to 80 miles per hour, and the trailer was waiting for the light... Highway patrol was chasing him. When I went to see what happened to the driver, he had no head. His head was in the back seat. It was horrible."

If only there were some way to identify and stop potentially deadly drivers before they caused grievous bodily harm to themselves and others and put our hard-working officers of the law in harm's way.  Oh, wait a minute, there is!  If you look up this guy's license plate he had a shitload of unpaid parking tickets:


Do you think there might be a relationship between being a highly irresponsible motor vehicle owner and driving that motor vehicle in a dangerous fashion?  Because I do.  It seems to me that by the time you've run up this many parking tickets and failed to pay them the city should tow your car away and crush it up into a tiny cube.  Nine unpaid parking tickets in a four month period is a cry for help.  So maybe someone should have helped this person by impounding the car five or six unpaid tickets ago.

If you can't take care of your toys then you shouldn't be allowed to have them.

I'm tempted to say that, given the addled mental state of the typical driver, our streets are full of guided missiles.  However, implying that the way these people drive in any way qualifies as "guidance" is about as accurate as Scott Simon's fatuous Lance Armstrong comparison.  Even so, it's clearly dangerous out there, which is why would-be entrepreneurs keep coming up with stuff like this:


Backtracker is a two-part system, the front unit giving you the speed and distance of rear-approaching vehicles, and the back unit alerting motorists to your position via increasingly frequent light pulses.

Or, you could just turn your head.

But why go through all that effort when instead a display on your handlebars will tell you how far away a car is with flashing lights?


"What, turning my head a few degrees?  No, I've outsourced that tedious chore.  See, the indicator tells me how fast the car is approaching, and when the light goes from green to red I know that I've been decapitated."

Of course, if you really hate turning your head you could always just use a helment mirror, but then you wouldn't be playing with lights and radar.  "But helment mirrors are dorky!," you may be saying.  Well, yeah, sure they are, but do you think you look like less of a dork with a bunch of radar shit strapped to both ends of your bike?  Because you don't.  You're just a digital dork instead of an analog one.

By the way, I've been struggling with an editorial decision as far as which default helment mirror image to use going forward, and I'm not sure if it should be this one:


This one:


Or this one:


I'm sort of leaning towards Gandalf in the middle, but I'm still open to reader input.

Or, if you don't want to put the mirror on your helment, you can always wear it on your wrist:


I first mentioned the above product back in February of 2012, and I can't believe it still hasn't taken the cycling world by storm.

Lastly, let's all acknowledge the organizers of the Giro d'Italia for not being condescending to female cycling fans at all:
Hmm, I don't know.  This is an Italian bike race, so it would be helpful to know which (if any) of the riders doesn't still live at home with his mother.  That might help the "girls" narrow it down.

151 comments:

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

winner?

Serial Retrogrouch said...

podio

Nat Futterman said...

Podium?

Anonymous said...

woohoo

McFly said...

I hate us.

Anonymous said...

Woohoo X2

rush said...

rush

Anonymous said...

Fug it

BamaPhred said...

Top 10?

the Jimboner said...

Fuck Yeah!

McFly said...

As someone that has used the drug Oxycontin recreationally I can somewhat explain Rush Limbaughs actions.

It's the only thing I have ever taken back to the dopeman and asked for credit towards something else.

stillfixed said...

Ron Paul 2012

Freddy Murcks said...

I would like it if someone could come up with a smartphone based application that would replace my helmet mirror. Kickstarter, you have your marching orders.

[I am really just kidding, in case that's not obvious. I think a smartphone-based replacement for helmet mirrors would be stooooopid. And I don't even sport a helmet mirror.]





115 166

Hiname said...

Hi Name!





and

seek esdomina

Flyover BC said...

Out of the money.

The thing to remember about communists is, when they've got your back, they're keeping you in front of them : to take the bullet for them, they've got a gun in your back, or to keep you conveniently located when they need to sacrifice you for the cause.

Having said that, I'll read the blog and figure out which one it is.

Freddy Murcks said...

By the way, Scott Simon is a fucking idiot. If his Lance Pharmstrong comparison tweet isn't enough, his profile pic at NPR provides further evidence. The text of his profile may also discuss his persistent sexual attraction to farm animals, but I didn't read it, so I cannot confirm that. But it is well known that he is a goat fucker.

http://www.npr.org/people/3874941/scott-simon


119 806 2902 7771

gE said...

If you took all the bad drivers and put them on bikes, the world would be a safer place ... for a while.

But then with the ensuing rampant population rise from lack of death by car, food shortages and mass starvation would result, so there's that.

I'd vote for Gandalf, but it's a little trippy that he has a two-sided mirror and his twin is taking his picture with an invisible eye-camera. Dorky folding helment guy is up there too.

grog said...

Remember what the dormouse said.
My vote is #1 dorky helment mirror.

Regular guy said...

I vote for photo #3.

#1, it's an old photo, and back then with helmets like that the only option, everyone looked like a dork.

Gandalf uses a mirror because at his age if he turned his head, it might just stay that way.

#3 is dork personified. He(she? it's hard to tell) even appears to be relishing in the dorkiness.

Comment deleted said...

This makes getting head in the back seat sound like a *bad* thing.

Flyover BC said...

Is that a retro-grouch monocle or a rear view mirror?

I once saw a decapitation. The other bystander asked "where's his head".

I said I don't know and I'm not looking for it. I made sure not to look at or trip over anything in street on the way back to my car.

On plus side, that guy's poor choice at the intersection may well have saved my life.

BamaPhred said...

I like the fatuous colander head helment mirror person.

Looks like Serial Retrogrouch has got his legs back, compliments to ECDO, winner winner chicken dinner, and Nat Futterman.

Anonymous said...

how did he know the driver was travelling between 70 and 80 mph (miles - per - hour))?

GreySpoke said...

I'm leaning towards the Centurion Cycling Chapeau for your helment mirror image.

P Finn said...

http://www.efficientvelo.com/safezone/ is the one with max dorkiosity

P Finn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

decapitated. that had to hurt. Cops cracking down on cyclist in central park this week because of the bike-on-ped accident earlier in the week. If you can't tackle the real problem (people being killed daily by reckless drivers) go after the easy targets, even if zero people are killed per year by cyclists. fuck the police.

JLRB said...

"When I went to see what happened to the driver, he had no head. His head was in the back seat. It was horrible"

Why did that make me actually LOL? Too much Quentin Tarantino is my defense.

JLRB said...

I vote for Ganldof. #1 is un-'Merican - the mirror is on the right side for the Imperialists that drive on the wrong side of the road.

#3 is too obvious.

DB said...

I vote for number one. We all had that setup in the big eighties. Crooked Bell helment and goofy mirror.
Crosspalms lives in Chicago and will take care Scott Simon for us. He's probably in Grant Park now watching the futbol match.

JLRB said...

Lame half Simon-pology

"Sorry to stereotype cyclists as scofflaws. I was wrong. But saying "You're wrong" makes better case than violent screeds."

Roille Figners said...

#3 all the way. And fuck everybody's stupid fucking tweets.

balls™ said...

I actually used to use a helment mirror (made from an old spoke). Once I got used to it being there it was really useful. I stopped using it when I realized I was looking for it while on foot without the helment or bike.

It had to go.

nscadu 9 said...

If only there was some way to give Brett a helmet mirror.

McFly said...

What's the big deal about a lil' head in the back seat?

ubercurmudgeon said...

Gandalf FTW

Anonymous said...

Ant-I still lives with their mother [ I think] I sort of know that they at lease work together for now.
I would snatch them up in a nano broken heaRT beat. Well, they would have to be STI -free, & listen to AphEX TwIN while being my [ I'll only switch for their switch] hunghangmatters anallicksuckbitrripptrip

le Correcteur said...

This is the winning line of this post: "You're just a digital dork instead of an analog one."

And really, WCRM, you've got to use the first image for helment mirrors, just because the Bell V1 Pro helment is such an effing classic! It's the Rivendell Long Low of helments!

James said...

I am a strict follower of the Velominati rules. Not really, but if I was, rule #66 forbids use of a mirror. Rule #74 forbids me from using anything kickstarter electrojunk other than a mini computer or a power meter.

Anonymous said...

Crashed into the Firewall at work. Still couldn't catch the lead bunch.

vsk

Roille Figners said...

So you use this deal and look down at a flashing gizmo instead of where you're going. (It's for safety.)

jodphoto said...

Gandalf, definitely.

Hey Simon,

When have bicyclists become "you people"?

As long as we are generalizing...all pedestrians are a menace. As a mob, they politicize anything that inconveniences or annoys them. They walk wherever and whenever they want.

When they get hit by a car it's always their fault because they weren't looking behind them. They should all wear helments with dork mirrors and blinky lights on top and, electronic noisemakers programmed to play the fun house scream.

You self-righteous putz.

Fred Clampett said...

That's a mightie fine mirror you all got thar. This is what I carry:

http://www.amazon.com/Sprintech-Drop-Mirror-Black-Pair/dp/B00168K3IY/ref=sr_1_4/179-3077402-3886936?s=cycling&ie=UTF8&qid=1403804280&sr=1-4

http://www.amazon.com/CycleAware-Roadie-Bicycle-Handlebar-Mounted/dp/B001V7IFDU/ref=pd_sbs_sg_cy_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=1GVY1NE30N0ZRD3MSGB4

mikeweb said...

Is it me or do all the helment mirrors guys look like they're furtively viewing naked boobies behind them.

Except for #2. He's obviously perturbed that he's still married to Mrs. Santa.

And yes, #3 may be a woman, but still naked boobies.

Anonymous said...

This is the raddest blog post! Smash them to bits tiny dingy bittttttttttttts bite me !Vvehicles go FUcK YOUrSELf!

I would choose to fuck the first helmet mirror photo & post the last mirror helmet [yeg] helment[{ from now on mR. spacecASE!cat rock mr. machine mountain

GreySpoke said...

just asked NPR to trade Scott Simon to Fox News due to his generalization skills

Dave said...

I gave helmet mirrors a good try, back when my neck still turned. I found them fiddly and jiggly, and I couldn't shake the irrational fear that in a crash the wire stalk would be driven through my eye into my brain.

Now my neck doesn't turn enough to do me any good, so bar-end mirrors are mandatory. It's so bad that I can't ride a bike without them any more than I could drive a car with no mirrors. So I don't need the warning radar to tell me I'm about to be crushed into a paste.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

#3.

Anonymous said...

OK, so his head was in the back seat. But was he wearing a seatbelt ?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I almost forgot...

Scranus.

Dave said...

PS - product plug: this is the only company whose mirrors are any damned good:
http://www.amazon.com/Mirrycle-MTB-Mountain-Bicycle-Mirror/dp/B0009R96YK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1403805507&sr=8-1&keywords=mirrycle+mirror

Anonymous said...

Mirror mirror.
I always use the glasses mount mirror. It makes traffic a whole lot easier to deal with. Third Eye is the company. I get very apprehensive riding without it. Yes, it's dorky, geeky, nerdy, etc. It helps tremendously. I use clear glasses at night, 30 mph wind in the face with pollen does not make for optimal conditions.

The 3rd helment chick... is she wearing a fencing mask on top of her head? Did they have those helments in Tron or Tron Legacy?

Brett from Tridork should have a yellow mirra.

vsk

Anonymous said...

I guess that flatbed didn't feature a Jayne Mansfield tuning the perp into a Jayne Mansfield.

babble on said...

The only way they could prove that they've stopped patronizing women is if they actually held events like the Giro FOR women. And if they then bothered to PAY the women as much as they pay the men.

And we all know that's never going to happen.

gE said...

1:29 & 1:49 - Okay, which one of you set the porn filter on your computer so your kid could only visit BSNYC?

Roille Figners said...

"...saying 'You're wrong' makes better case than violent screeds."

Says the guy who makes his case using a fallacy.

Roille Figners said...

PS I will fucking kill you.

Regular guy said...

Good thing there weren't any flat bed trailer trucks around when Angel Vazquez was trying to flee the Guardia Civil.

But then again, a little dismemberment might be just what the unrepentant serial doper Fred needs.

go_mericuh!_with_guns! said...

Chris Froome would love that blinky light warning system thing.

Integrate it into a power meter and duder will sell thousands. A power meter that does the looking around for you is a major leap forward in everything cycling geek.

After all, we don't do enough staring at computers. Let's do it some more! Outside! On a bike!

1904 Cadardi said...

Guess what NPR, after that Scott Simon outburst I won't be pledging. You can keep your tote-bag and Yanni CD. That'll learn ya!


Definitely Gandolf. While contestant #3 is the dorkiest, Galdolf the White is clearly the embodiment of everything the helment mirror represents. Including a recumbent and socks with sandals.

Roille Figners said...

Was the head wearing a healemenette when they found it in the back seat?

gE said...

Collander helment says Dahon so you can figure what it's all about. Vaguely remember reading Velovision, pretty sure it's a dude, and yeah, that's exactly what he's looking at. First pair he's ever seen too.

go_mericuh!_with_guns! said...

Babble,

It's called the Giro Rosa and definitely a high-ranked race for women.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giro_d%27Italia_Femminile

What's missing is media coverage for so many high ranking Women's events.

I'm certain we both agree there are LOTS of other things missing too.

Regular guy said...

Thanks for bringing up the Dahon, gE. Obviously a poser, so I change my vote from #3 to Gandalf. He's surely dedicated. #3 will stop riding a bike as soon as he/she is paid well enough to buy a Prius.

JLRB said...

#3's name is definitely Pat

leroy said...

No relation to that Leroy from Brooklyn.

Warned my dog: No quoting Austin Powers decapitation jokes.

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking a photo of Sheldon Brown would be better than any of those 3.

views iestsrip?

Anonymous said...

I vote for the Velovision woman. Gandalf's "mirror" makes for a cool photo, but it is not a mirror!

JLRB said...

Bals #123 -

I had the same issue with helemnt mirrors. I still use one, but I now staple a helment mirror to my temple when I go walk the dog, etc.

Anonymous said...

Yes - Sheldon Brown!!

Search google Images for sheldon brown mirror and there are good options.

https://www.google.com/search?q=sheldon+brown+mirror&tbm=isch

Anonymous said...

I say Fred #1, he's got it all. Hairy, Dorky helment, even put the mirror on the wrong side of his head!

clyde said...

GANDALF!

Anonymous said...

Speaking of futbol: http://www.spiegel.de/fotostrecke/deutschland-gegen-usa-die-bilder-zum-spiel-bei-der-wm-2014-fotostrecke-116225-10.html - guess that may have hurt a little ...

Anonymous said...

Anyone out there seen the "Silly Cyclist" videos. I think it's all special effects, because no "cyclist" in real life would ride the way they do in the videos.

crosspalms said...

I was going to vote for Gandalf (although 3 made me laugh), but I like the Sheldon idea.

Meanwhile, over at the hole Simon keeps digging for himself: "Drivers can be dangerous too. But on walk w/ daughters 3 cyclists ignored stops & zipped too close. Happens all the time"

Obviously the cyclists should have stopped (it's the American way: Obey the law if anyone's looking). But he got buzzed by cyclists and lived to tweet about it. What will he do when he gets buzzed by a car or a bus? And as another Chicagoan I can tell him this happens all the time too.

Maybe he's just auditioning for Fox's new "When Smart People Say Stupid Things!" Big hit coming this fall.

Larry Varney said...

As for which bicycle mirror image to use, the middle one, of course! And why? Because it's me, the co-editor of Bentrider.bike, (or BentRiderOnline.com), the largest online recumbent magazine in the world! And as you might guess, I love bicycle mirrors, and wouldn't be without one. Usually I'll have one (or even two) on the bike, and one on my helmet (or sunglasses).

gE said...

Making Sheldon the helment mirror guy is so not cool - no matter how goofy he looked.

Anonymous said...

I watched a friend of mine run into a legally parked car while riding her bike. I think it was a trap set by some cyclist hating lunatic motorist.

crosspalms said...

Oh, and DB: I've hired the Violent Screeds to serenade Scott Simon's house overnight. They're setting up their amps in the street now.

Anonymous said...

And no she wasn't running from the cops.

Brooks said...

For the mirror picture, I'd definitely go with the gondolf-looking guy in picture #2 -- not only is it a great bike mirror picture, but it's got that "droste effect" picture-in-a-picture thing going for it.

Boromir said...

"Making Sheldon the helment mirror guy is so not cool - no matter how goofy he looked."

Exactly. This blog only mentions/shows thing to make fun of them. And one does not simply walk into making fun of Sheldon Brown

DB said...

Nice work, Crosspalms.

clean shaven helmetless guy said...

..and another Sheldon thing...

http://i.imgur.com/mE1yS.jpg

Dooth said...

A fitting end to a mindless driver.

Anonymous said...

the crabon fiver helment mirror picture, please. Lance has never been the everycyclist, the asshole

Spokey said...

If snobby doesn't use #3 then he's simply an ingrate.

He got free advertising for his european vacation book on the outspoken cyclist back spring 2013 (I think). The radio host is the woman who owns the bike shop that makes the mirrors in #3

Spokey said...

If snobby uses #3 then we know he's just a greedy bastard like the koch (or is it coke? coak?) brothers.

Tit for tat for that free advertising for his european vacation book on the outspoken cyclist back spring 2013 (I think)? The radio host is the woman who owns the bike shop that makes the mirrors in #3

Or maybe it is tit for something else?

Spokey said...

I used to use a Chuck Harris mirror. I switched to mirror #3 a few years back. But I'm ashamed to say I do use just a normal run of the mill Bell helment.



Simon says fuck me. Please

gE said...

Spokey, how can anyone who rocks/rubs/palps/runs a helment mirror be ashamed of anything? Is that even possible?

Guido said...

Yo! snobby - ya little punk - jus cause you got beat up by the sons of Italy when you was a kid doesn't mean I still live with my mama - got bless her and the sauce she makes for me when she does my laundry on Sundays

Spokey said...

gE

At my age I only have so much shame left. I must use my remaining shame judiciously.

DB said...

Let the lead out begin.

DB said...

Early today for the race to 100.
Lots of mirror comments.

BamaPhred said...

Utilizing secret Lift Scranus Propulsion Technique

JLRB said...

So, Larry Varney at 3:11, was Mikeweb @ 1:46 correct?

Were you "furtively viewing naked boobies behind" you in the mirror?

crosspalms said...

Wheeze, pant, wheeze...

Spokey said...

if snobby wants a truly stupid mirror, he ought to find a picture of a Delta mirror mounted.

http://crev.vo.llnwd.net/o42/mtbreview/images/products/product_359127.jpg

Mounts to your top tube so you can verify that your scranus or pants yabbies are still there.

Other than that, pretty much anything will prevent it from showing you something behind you. Your legs, panniers, trunk bags, saddle bags.

i had one. If it's still kicking around maybe I'll put the stupid thing on and provide snobbie with a pic.

crosspalms said...

... check mirror (on handlebar! from Rivendell! oops, better watch where I'm going...)

Spokey said...

yellow for the century podia?

JLRB said...

Time to hop in my hernia truss-cycle to run-cycle to the 100 line!

Spokey said...

YES

JLRB said...

curses - late again, unless you DQ Spokey for the semi-duplicate post about the radio lady

Spokey said...

JLRB

jeez sore loser eh?

those posts are called satire.

DB said...

Spokey:
Please report for urine testing.

BamaPhred said...

To be inclusive of those with tender sensibilities, the urine test is now called the Streaming Media test.

JB said...

Larry Varney: No offense, but if that's really you in pic #2, you'll never convince me that you ride a recumbent.

Pic #1 looks like WCRM mit beard. No?

BladFaceBot9000 said...

Pic #1 looks like WCRM mit beard. No?"

Are you saying the stubble on WCRM's face is not worthy of the title "beard"?

Roille Figners said...

"Drivers can be dangerous too."

First of all: TOO?!!

Secondly: Are drivers dangerous? When they're driving maybe.

Ooh subtle. The kind of subtlety that's totally lost on dipshits like Scott "WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?!?!" Simon.

I voted for Nader '96 and

tsongrls 171

Spokey said...

DB;

it's in the mail

crosspalms said...

What was the name of that bicycle that became famous for bursting into flames when rear-ended?

And what's the name of that bike that had to be recalled because it would suddenly lose power to everything, including safety devices?

And that Japanese bike that was recalled because the brakes were too close to the pedals, confusing the rider and causing crashes? That was one of my favorites.

Vernal Magina said...

source programmable guidance.

Blog Drafter said...

Most people make frequent use of the mirrors that The Car That They Own, or Borrowed, or Rented, or Just Stole are equipped with. They wouldn't even think of driving such a car as these without mirrors, but cyclists who ride on the same roads, in the same traffic, and surrounded by the same idiots refuse to use a mirror! Because it's uncool.

Well.

I love faded colors and crappy silhouettes so I definitely vote for the first picture. Plus, I had a Bell helmnet like that once.

Anonymous said...

Number 1...the Bell helmet name offers superfluous safety...and the guy looks so happy to be protected...you just know that his arsenal is limitless.

JLRB said...

Spokey -

The sarcasm detector says go pee in the cup, or stream media, or carry the 100* proudly

JLRB said...

Sprinting the 116 line!

Roille Figners said...

Starting the looooonnnnggg leadout to #200?

Matt said...

I really like my helment mirror. I don't give a rat's ass if you think it looks dorky because, and I hope this isn't too heartbreaking for you, I don't pick my gear to impress you. Sorry. The always-available view behind is excellent and extremely useful. I only turn my head when needed to act as sort of a signal to drivers behind.

Spokey said...

Roille

I'll help. I'll play the domestique for JLRB. I think he needs multiple leadouts. I don't want to listen to any more whiney Contador excuses.



once a cinessr Hannah always a cinessr Hannah

JLRB said...

Sorry Spokey - I can't follow you with those rim breaks - go back to the team car and get the dick breaks.

Flyover BC said...

What was the last thing to go through the Lexus driver's mind when he ran into the flatbed truck?

The license plate.

badda bing

Lord forgive me.

Anonymous said...

Definitely the third one. This is exactly what anyone wearing a bicycle helmet looks like, mirror or no mirror.

Mary said...

I can't believe it: Bike Snob publishes pictures of helmet mirrors, and two of the folks are friends of mine -- Larry Varney and Julianne Neuss. Larry really does have that mirror with his photo on the back, and Julianne imports and sells that Hubbub helmet mirror. (The Pango folding helmet was borrowed for the photo to demonstrate that the mirror will fit onto just about any helmet.) She is a German physical therapist with an impressive line of bikes for disabled people. My own choice for best helmet mirror is the SafeZone mirror from Efficient Velo Tools (http://www.efficientvelo.com/safezone/ ). It is large enough to be useful, and it readily adjusts to provide good views from recumbents, road bikes, and city bikes. They are really the very best.

mungibli said...

one vote for gandalph!

Frodo said...

Gandalf with recumbabe superimposed on the mirror...

Anonymous said...

Vilifying cyclists is the last refuge of the bigot.

No longer can you be racist, sexist, ageist, homophobic etc. so frustrated bigots like Scotty Simon, desperate for an avenue to release their pent up malignancies target a group they (mistakenly) think is weak and inept.

These prejudiced minds harbour the self-delusional belief, borne of self-doubt and self-loathing, that riding a bicycle in a city is an lower tier activity practiced only by the unaccomplished. But deep down, in the darkest crevices of their subjugated psyche, they know a bicycle is the most practical, efficient, inexpensive, liberating and enjoyable way to navigate a city and they curse themselves for lacking the poise, volition and self confidence to break free from the despotic shackles of unimaginative dogma on the matter and ride a bike themselves.

Like all bigotry, Scotty Simon's outburst is the expression of an anxious and frail soul bedevilled by low self-esteem.

Really, they're very sad and pathetic creatures who deserve our sympathy, but I'd rather reinforce their prejudice by ramming into them with a very sturdy, rigid and heavy fat bike.

Flyover BC said...



Hey Anonymous@7:49,

maybe Scott Simon was just startled by the bike, or are we projecting here?

Anonymous said...

Tru 'dat.

Bibshorts guy said...

I'll change my vote to Gandolph if Recumbabe is on the helment mirror.

Bibshorts guy said...

I meant to add also, to agree with Frodo

Hey Anonymous@7:49 said...

Flyover,

No, no projection here. Scotty's pathology is clearly evident.

If you know how to read the subtext, allusions, figurative nuance etc, in his tweet you can easily draw those conclusions.

BamaPhred said...

Is CJ back?

gE said...

I feel so mediocre with my bar-end mirrors. Can't even excel at dorkitude.

133rd

Boguzboy said...

Hey snob - definitely has to be image #3 (manically-smiling androgynous person).

Anonymous said...

Helment mirror #1 is on the wrong side, so please don't use that one.

Anonymous said...



Anon9:41,

Only if you're in some place where people drive on the right-hand side of the road.

Off to reeducation camp with you, cultural imperialist.

Anonymous said...

Et tu Coitus Interruptus?
I am sure the city Council cares about the parking violations as much as bicycle cycles riding on the sidewalk. They had the fucking nerve to write [ and predominantly place on the back of the flimsy community news bulletin sent in the mail, a whole back cover for the laws pertaining to riding on the sidewalk. I personally do not ride on the sidewalk, I rather ride on the road. Could they have written about what we cycist have to put up with each & evrytime we hit the rubber to the road? FUckERs!

Yet,I wonder why the poLICE won't get out of their safety seat to ticket illegally parked vehicles near fire hydrants, 30 feet from stop signs,or parked at corners of intersections ~ on their way to dump a load of what have you.

I am looking forward to joining you...ZoooYork
xxxoo

crank said...

i like this mirror guy
(first one)
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xCXnrAVdxWc/U6w7IWdSTGI/AAAAAAAA1O0/_r2tXPi8OFc/s1600/helment+mirror+1.jpg

something about his amazement at the wonders of reflection is quite charming.

the gandalf one doesn't even make sense. is that him, looking at himself, on the wrong side of the mirror, with a different expression, perhaps from a different time? what?

Rearview said...

Too much fast talk about all this helmet mirror stuff, let's just sit back and reflect on it for a moment.

Tampa doosh said...

#3 without a doubt.

How does Nike get away with sponsoring a televised street skateboarding event where NONE of the kids wear helments?

Anonymous said...

Another day of, "I just don't feel like riding my bike into the city."

BSSuburbia blogs again.

BFB said...

Larry! Is that really you? You read BSNYC, how awesome or something.

RCT: #3? Really? But, but. . . Larry.


Robot says, "gygrast you." Well I never!

Anonymous said...

Any walk through forrest demonstrates that squirrels think they're above the law. Does that explain @groundhogs ?

DB said...

Rearview at 10:47 for COD.

RoadQueen said...

My doped vote is for #2. I think the gentleman in the photo and on the mirror is incredibly charming.

I'll be Bach for the sprintbonce my pil--- I mean 'vitimins' kick in.

Mary said...

I vote for Larry (#2), because the photo is entirely in character for him, and he has been having a lot of fun with it. Julianne (#3) wouldn't normally wear that goofy helmet -- besides which, that photo is clearly off-limits (it belongs to Peter Eland, and re-use of her image for other than the intended purpose would presumably require her permission under German law). The first photo is just too antique.

QMacrocarpa said...

Larry Varney wins! And I recognized him, being one of those bicumbent riders you see around.

Mary said...

It's Julianne Neuss, a physical therapist who builds adapted bikes for disabled kids and adults. She borrowed the silly helmet to demonstrate the versatility of the mirror's attachment system. (Spezialradmesse 2011 in Germersheim, Germany.)

Mary said...

I rode a couple hundred miles with him, and that is definitely a mirror - - with his photo on the back.

africansingle said...

I bet Leroy Samuel wasn't wearin' a helment.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Simon.

You're just another thesaurus thumper.
A screed is long by definition. A tweet is short.