Sorry to stereotype cyclists as scofflaws. I was wrong. But saying "You're wrong" makes better case than violent screeds.
— Scott Simon (@nprscottsimon) June 26, 2014
Yeah, that is what everyone was saying. I didn't see any "violent screeds." I just saw replies like this:So he might as well have pointed out that saying "You're wrong" also makes a better case than blowing bubbles in your chocolate milk. (Though I admit I did angrily blow bubbles in my own chocolate milk for a full 20 minutes after reading his initial tweet.)
Also, before apologizing he tried to defend himself with this limp noodle:
Perhaps because cyclists are so visible we see more of their infractions. Yes, we have many staffers who bike to work and-
— Scott Simon (@nprscottsimon) June 26, 2014
If we're so visible then why do drivers keep running us over because they "didn't see" us? Also, I assume he's tweeting from Washington, DC, and if he thinks cyclists are a bigger presence than drivers on the streets of our nation's capital then he'd better go back to LensCrafters and get a refund.[Also, bonus points to him for falling back on the classic "Some of my best friends are cyclists" routine.]
In other news, Bradley Wiggins is officially out of the Tour de France:
Yet David Millar will be riding it for the 13th time:
(I thought he retired already.)
Proving once again that the worst career move you can make as a Tour de France cyclist is actually winning the thing.
And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you're special, and if you're wrong you'll see a doped-up rabbit.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and be sure to yield to NPR hosts.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
(He's watching excitedly as the future of rearward viewing overtakes him.)
1) Finally, a digital answer to the helment mirror!
--True
--False
2) What is this contraption?
--The Flying Rider™
--The Hover Bike™
--The Velo Truss™
--The Fred Harness™
3) Which of the following is true of the £6000 Trek Domane Disc 6.9?
--It has "fantastic power on tap with minimal hand effort along with a positive initial bite that's far from grabby or overly abrupt"
--It is "akin to driving a car with disc brakes versus drums"
--It is not officially approved by Trek for tires wider than 25mm
--All of the above
4) Ángel Vázquez was removed from a Gran Fondo by Spain’s Guardia Civil for:
--Serial doping
--Using a bicycle fitted with an electrical assist
--Cereal doping
--Hogging the donuts at one of the rest stops
5) According to its inventor, the Mac Ride child seat promotes:
--"Independence"
--"Independance"
--"Six Pack Abs"
--"Motion Sickness"
6) What ridiculous notion is he scoffing at?
--The idea that someone would ever eat food that isn't locally grown and sustainably harvested
--The idea that someone would ever ride a bicycle that isn't handmade by a master craftsman
--The idea that someone would ever think about the wind during the course of a typical day
--The idea of washing his hair
7) Fill in the blank:
DONT FUCKING PEE NEAR MY HOUSE AGAIN. YOU'RE DISGUSTING. PLEASE GO BACK TO ____.
--Jersey
--Ohio
--Iowa
--Fucktardistan
***Tasteful Yet Still Technically NSFW-Themed Bonus Question***
Helment Mirror Guy clearly likes what he sees.
--True
--False
200 comments:
podiating yet again
(.)(.)
),(
( y )
Podium, dudes
( . )( . )
( , )
( y )
"2) What is this contraption?"
I was looking for "The Cipollini Compliance Kit" as an answer.
The rabbit got the Trix?! How did I never hear of this? I thought Trix were for kids!
Oh BTW I aced the quiz. Had to go back and pretend to miss one to see that kickass bonus video.
Damn, the Venus of Willendorf took fourth place; must be the early start diminishing the field here.
(no comments)
It's FRIDAY not friady, you ass
number 10....
I read it. Just out of top ten. Damn.
Recumbabe! Did you find her?
2nd week in a row 100% Quiz score! Those night classes at the community college must really be boosting my intellect.
helment mirrors are for narcissists
McFly:
She's preggers?
BB - how else are we supposed to check our makeup?
And, the blowing bubbles in chocolate milk was brilliant!
I doped my cereal with fresh sliced peaches this morning.
Doping doesn't help my placing.
Or my spelling.
Props to McFly for classying up the podium. It's about damn time.
I'm originally from Iowa and I'm headed to NYC July 18-22, so I'll be peeing near all your houses. Probably pee in the East River, too.
Please send addresses.
It's not gay,
It's Europeein!
Jeez, what time do you have to get up to podium around here? I just let the chickens out of the coop, Snob has posted, and pack has already passed me by.
But there was a Recumbabe sighting, along with drunk hipster girl re-enacting her street streaming media scene.
Oh well, there is still time to go "milk the cow", if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
I thought David Millar retired 13 years ago.
Top XXV?
Mid-pack fodder
Probably. That'll teach her to not use a mirror to see what's coming in behind her.
"If we're so visible then why do drivers keep running us over..." Who is "us"? I have never been run over while riding a bike nor have I run over anyone while driving, bicyclist or otherwise. P.S. Have you seen any "Silly Cyclist" videos?
8:00 on a Friday? ON A FRIDAY?
and what's with Q7? Where is Crown Heights or NY for the correct answer?
The quiz was supreme ngykin today
Anonymous 10:03pm,
You seem to be very literal-minded, which would also explain why you like those "Silly Cyclist" videos.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
Anon @10:03 -
Try harder.
"We offer Trek hybrid-style bikes that are fine for riding in regular clothes (no need for spandex),..." This is on your "Classic Cycles" sponsor website. Really, you can ride a bike without spandex? Anyone tell that to "Fred"?
Friday = AnonoTroll Day
Too early! Over here in burrito land, we're drinking our first cup of coffee, and there's already 35ish comments? How'm I supposed to be in the running for podium or top ten?
Mr. Snob, the great people of Fucktardistan take great offence to you infidel humor and our humble, but great country. I have ordered a fatwa and you shall feel the wrath of proud Fucktards when you ride you Western Sexual Immoral device with wheels.
oh shit..you done it now.. don't fuck with Fucktards.
Do they make a version of the Flying Rider™ without wheels, for bedroom use? It looks like it could be fun.
Happy Friday.
Having ditched the Tour de Drogue, good luck to Bradley Wiggins with the Cleveland Cavaliers! One talented cunt.
What kind of turtle is THAT??!
Anon @ 10:03 - be careful. You're tempting the hands of fate.
Um, and OMG. Do you really ride a bike? Do you really NOT see the war on cyclists happening on the mean streets of North American cities?
You must be blind, deaf and ever so dumb dumb dumb.
It's a box turtle.
LOL! Well, at least she's not peeing in a box of turtles. And at least she didn't hit a great big bump in the road.
I thought I was being quite restrained today.
which quipkat?
Mr. Bike Snob, Yes, "Silly Cyclist" literally shows some "cyclists" behaving very badly and in some cases, motorists showing good driving skills by avoiding hitting "scofflaw" "cyclists." AND the videos literally show most motorists and cyclist behaving very well. (It couldn't be filmed NYC).
Ooh, let's all go to Dunkin Donuts and watch those videos together.
Some of this car/bike shit is akin to what Hutus said about Tutsis in Rwanda or what whites said about blacks in America. All harmless -- oh wait, no, actually one led to civil war and the chopping-off of heads with machetes, and the other led to lynchings and burnings etc. In this case the murder weapon's already right there though, and is a part of how the person identifies himself. Which is interesting.
HAVE A NICE DAY
In 2014, "Peeing on the turtle" is the new "jumping the shark".
I.e. after the Ulrich-Armstrong battles, the Tour de France really pissed on the turtle.
Learning how to squat and pee is the first thing Iowa girls learn in preschool. Most catch on pretty quickly.
Can't believe I missed this yesterday. That electronic mirror thingy hangs RADAR under your scranus? Too excited about actual helment mirrors, I guess.
Well, if you buy one of those because you saw it here, then:
BIKE SNOB IS A LOSER BIKING GIVES LOWERS YOUR SPERM COUNT AND GIVES YOU BALL CANCER
McFly 11:02 for CoTD
Is the girl in the portable sex sling to young to fantasize about?
Yes?
Too late........
I think you mean STANLEY WIGGINS
Mr. Bike Snob, Forgive me for expressing a naïve view of motorists and cyclists, but almost every day I ride, I pass by the Anne Frank memorial. It's just that I prefer your blogs bashing "Freds," and stupid products and your rides, rather than the "war on cyclists"
You have to really have PO'd some people to be a TDF champion and get cut from your own team, even after injuries take out part of it. Sir Bradley of Cuntingdon, I salute you.
I just realized that helment mirror guy's helment is crooked because the mirror weighs too much, however much that is.
Ms. babble on, I suspect you to be more of an "Anne Frank" kind of women as opposed to Joan of Arc" in the "war on cyclists"“ At least your blog would indicate this. "In the long run, the sharpest weapon of all is a kind and gentle spirit.” Anne Frank
Hey Crosspalms, "Oh, let's all go to Dunkin Donuts and watch those videos together."
Love to; Rollie, wanna go?
scott simon = liberal panty wearing npr schmuck
?
- -
^
/ \
/ (. )(. ) \
/ \
/ \
WCRM,
I see you have chosen your doppelganger as "helment mirror guy." Bravo.
-JB
I wanna say something funny about window seats at Dunkin but I got notihn'
Babble is more Lady Godiva than Anne Frank.
Discuss...
Anonymous 12:33pm,
I think they call that "Godwin's Law."
--Wildcat Rock Machine
Speaking of dopplegangers and helmet mirrors - sort of - I have been experiencing a series of occassions where I am bikcycling along teh MUP, to or fro work, cause that is all the time life gives me to bikecycle these days,
but anyway, as I am going along with my super-nerdy bottle-cap helment mirror (plus bar end mirror, depending on the bike) I keep sensing someone behind me - when I look I will see a dark clothed cyclist a little ways back - maybe 20 bike lengths - but the cyclist never catches up - I sense there is something metaphysical at play. Like a time traveling version of me trying to catch up and tell me the secret of the universe. Or maybe it is Leroy's dog.
That's clearly the rare and endangered Piston Turtle.
JLRB...are the black clothes long and flowing, and is the cyclist carrying a sickle, by any chance?
A bi-sickle?
A bah-sickle?
Anon @ 12:48 -right? I created spokeNscene because the best way to win that particular war is to open people's eyes to the joys to be had on two wheels.
Drivers still take my life unthinkingly in their hands, however, and when they do, it's prolly a good thing I'm not armed, cause it would feel ever soooo good to retaliate with something big, loud, nasty and explosive.
I do believe in creating win/win situations, and in showing kindness above all, but I'm a great shot, and I'm well tired of needing to fight for my life just to win the right to ride safely in my own city.
CD - heh heh Piston Turtle indeed.
Synonymous - squatting and peeing comes naturally to most of us. Even without lessons... though THAT would be quite the class.
Re: Lady Godiva ... mmmmm naked... Yes. I model myself after her whenever possible. That woman is one of my heroes.
A bi-sickle! One that swings both ways!
pondering question #2 has left me embarrassed by my thoughts. I am off to self flagellate.
Great. Just when my blue vein Green Sweater Katie boner had subsided you go and bring her back.
My dog read BOSSYhopeandchange's NPR reply tweet opining that cyclists are "above the law and filthy."
I told him if the shoe fits, chew it.
He told me to bite it.
Ride safe all!
Nice going: Mild self destruct Feline Mountain [ I mean NAME] , I thought I voted for The #3 helmet mirror photo, though I said I would bump boots with #1 helmet mirror I guess we are all voting with our vaginas ...
We're voting with our vaginas, are we? Oh goody. Forget about all of those skinny guys. My vagina votes for rubbing me the right way. Oh, and she votes for all of those lovely vibrations that come with a good hard ride. Mmmmmm a good hard ride... mmmmmm
This message from Bab's vagina is brought to you by GoPro -- go hard or get off.
CD, I prefer "go hard, AND get off."
:D
Er... that's Go Hard AND Get Off.
I am as invisible on the bicycle as off it ,even though I choose to not wear my ass-less chaps on the bike. When I am off the bike people some how see right through me, I like it but when I am waiting in line [ insert a line when I am wearing ass-less chaps; use your imagination ] they cut right through me. But I assert my presence we I need to on the bike or not. I like being a see through show, it works for me.
I sort of feel like the character from the fictional short "Invisible" from Ant Farm by Simon Rich. That actually was the first book I attempted to read after (it took me a few months) I was hit by an SUV in a market signal crosswalk { with the signal}. Yeah WE ARE SO FUCKING VISIBLE huh?
The turtle? Is's clearly a snapper.
Heh heh... great minds think alike, and fools seldom differ!
Green Day "Bab Uvula who?"
Yeah, Skinny Puppies+hanging hung_ like Caleb Moreton [ I dig bi context , it's the {looking} internet there for I will never get to bang boots with them]
I believe it's unanimous. :D
Yep, CJ is back for sure.
I still contend that Scott Simon is a well known goat fucker. Of course, one of the benefits of being a goat fucker is that you never have to apologize. For instance, goats are usually perfectly happy with a non-apology apology.
12767 38790
I blew myself?whoa BubblES in my G.T.'s Classic organic raw kombucha synergy trilogy for forty seven minutes. I watched in horror & disbelief,as the culture strands bubbled over lap.
I am mad about town.. & also about riding all the way over there & not getting the two 2 SKiNNy PUppY albums. It is akin to riding the cock ¬ cumming on top of Bradley Wiggins.
I need to take a cold shower while riding my bicycle, could someone please start a kick starter.? The piss shower by the tri_dork isn't up to par with what I am looking for.
The lead out has begun. Good luck to all of you.
I've never apologized to a goat.
And I won't to Scott Simon either.
I am going to listen to a bit of Carnivore & thrash SPD metal! PRONG good night mr. wild feline moutaiN
95. Big ring time.
Quickening the pace to the lead out. Lifting my scranus off my dick breaked £6000 Domane.
I see Bama Phred in my helment mounted mirror.
scranus
century podi again?
Congrats - you are above the law and filthy!
DB fails because he had to pull into the corn field to pee.
Congrats, Spokey!
Like DB is like a like liar.
I like saw like Katie like in that like cornfield ripping off her green sweater and like DB going down for the like count.
DB deserved to lose. It's like either the like century yellow or Katie. You like made your choice buster.
sown senionm was your reward.
thx queenie
That was a Good Friday sprint. But really my Domane weighs 6,000 lbs and creaks like Grandma's hip.
it's the weekend. Maybe a double century sprint before Moonday
Like, I know Good Friday has come and gone, and most Fridays are good. What I meant was a good Friday sprint, stoopid iPad thingy. Sheesh.
BamaPhred - CJ never left. He just got himself some therapy and dropped the handle.
Katie and I roll in with corn husks stuck to our jerseys.
It was worth it.
Congrats to winners and see you at the double century.
Bama, that must be the *standard* Domane. The Domane 6.9 is better in every way.
Every way? Like it has more vaginas?
"It creates household odors,
It disinfects,
It sanitizes for your protection,
It gives you an erection,
It wins the election!"
"Get on the business end of our going out of business sale!"
Yeah, I got the "Sucka" series, not the 6.whatever. But I'm not complaining, much
We're already at 115, so double century it is.
Have to say, mirror guy #1 does blend quite well into the cosmopolitan flair that is Wildcat's blog.
34% i failed the quiz,hill repeats ! I will gladly submit to the hills! I laugh every time I see or hear the word failure. The BSNYC post May 30th starts out will that rad tee shirt "fear failure" & mild feline mountain response/quip: Firstly, here is a t-shirt I spotted in a sporting goods store emblazoned with succinct instructions on how to be a loser:"fear failure" (The motto of shut-ins everywhere.)
I really wish R.Hilary Clinton is not running for president! rapist defender The past has a way of creeping up on you!! I loath defense lawyers who clearly are a wolf in sheep clothing for rapist [ pose as feminist] { DUI drivers etc.}
Please another woman needs to step up and stand for our rights; everyone rights! No more right wing racist/sexist wing-nuts.
Where are the independent females running or hoping to run for president, with actual feminist views/ We as Emerica need them! It would help Emerica be well squared..ZooYOrk
Friday Funk Whiz. I still got 3 hrs of workday left muh fuggaz.
By 1972 funk had gone mainstream and so had the civil rights movement, such that there were now racially-integrated funk bands on the charts. Sly and the Family Stone included both black & white members, while War (minus Eric Burdon) also included Hispanic members.
this
All right now.
Racist that I am, I always assumed a Hispanic guy was playing the congas.
Nice simultaneous rhythm-chop/lead singing.
Gosh, I wish Tim Lincecum could grow a 'stache like Roille's!
The fruit is so low, I'll just let it rot slowly. The stench is worth the wait.
CD @ 4:26
Nighthawk, eh? That was a classic model..not quite live, but not studio either. Just. Cool.
You know, perhaps I shouldn't say this, especially given the subject matter of the previous couple of posts, but I've started yelling "gonna runiminadeetch!" at cyclists that I pass while driving. Not loud enough so they hear it (windows are up all the time anyway), and of course I don't actually drive in any way other than courteously but it's a riot. I suggest you give it a try. It's ironic humor to yell:
"Lookie thar, gonnaruniminaditch!"
when I've got Big Red in the cab behind me and we're off to the Fred trail on a saturday morn.
I do not ever yell anything about hating cyclists, however, since I am one myself, and I'm just not into self-hatred.
"Her story is the OTHER side of USAC where they dope riders then cast them off because she's on so many roids she's got a beard."
Now that's funny! And yet sad at the same time.
Like the 70's era East German Ladies Olympic swim team.
The stench is in your soul. Like your parents taught you.
I guess there are lists that rank popularity of blogs. Snob's must not be very popular because there just aren't enough comments here that are machine translated from other languages. Shed Snob Melbourne probably gets more.
I congratulate Anon 4:52 on having the persistence to make it this far down the list - whatever bat shit nonsense you're ranting about. Guessing it didn't make sense before translation.
The stench is in your soul. Like your parents taught you.
June 27, 2014 at 5:31 PM
And you wonder why bad things happen to "good" people.
Who said I was a good person? Fuck you in the face, other troll! You're not the most evil person here, I AM!
What utter nonsense. I propose a subject interesting and beneficial to all.
Favorite fellatio anf cunnilingus techniques to use and/or receive.
Discuss.
I bet Troll 1 loves to get analingus from priests before they assfuck him. Or at least that's what his corny pussy-ass "shame on you" routine makes it sound like.
Domane 6.9. It's better in every way.
Troll fight!
Where is Troll 3 to blow this shit UPPPP?!?!
(That's not a decimal point...it's a large, vibrating egg).
Well anyway I'd say my favorite technique is when she's on her stomach and I get all up under there and lick the bean whilst essentially fucking her with my nose.
Psych! We're all the same person. I just like arguing with myself!
No you don't!
OOOooooo - you scary cyclists are lawless and scary
I have no doubt Tammy Thomas has a beard. You just can't see it through the chamois.
MAN oh MAN
I just saw pictures of Tammy Thomas. I'm not sure she was female, ever.
I can't believe they someone who looked like that compete in the womens' event.
Technique? I like to pretend it's a strawberry sundae in the middle of july and it's 102 and I have to lick it all up before it melts. Whip cream can be imaginary or fur realz.
I bet that turtle was pissed off.
Googlize the East German teams. The East German ladies swim team won every medal except one in 1976. That would be every gold, silver, and bronze, except for one. They may be the most egregious example, but it is rampant in every sport, at every level, at every age.
C'mon RQ tell all your fave technique.......
......and don't say head in the back seat.
Ashley Olsen liked 2 in the pink and one in the stink with a vigorous clitoral stimulation. They tricked me once and turns out it was Mary Kate.
Should have known when she requested 1 in the pink and 2 in the stink.
Katie..... 5 years later......she fell upon hard times. THOSE SHOES DON'T EVEN HAVE CLEATS.
Lead out to 150 ...
Shoes? She's wearing shoes? I didn't notice.
my nose would exchange places with the seat nose
I don't know what new dope Team Troll Anonymous have their hands on, but you can't keep up with that kind of next level shit with a commenting fitness foundation built solely on the wholesome gift of Mother Earth: Victoria Bitter. All the TIME CUBES are taken before I can even get to the keyboard. I'm too old for this shit. Maybe it's time to retire.
kudos to BamaPhred
what does a 150 sprint get him?
A green jersey? Me thinks yeller ought to stay at the even centuries. And pokies are tooo ugly. He'll have to present ID for a white.
no cleats and doesn't have babs calves either.
It's a clitless system.
Or is it? Better investigate.
Ass Monkeys RETREAT!
Green Jersey? How about a green sweater with a Katie in it? I wanna take her on a boat ride. The sweater can do double duty as a knee pad. In case she has to manually prime the bilge pump.
KEEP SUKN
ITSC UMIN
IPRO MISE
Anyone want a peanut
I enjoy this blog because the smug and pretentious are pilloried and skewered.
But then the commentariat gets smug and I have to chew me some self-satisfied ass.
Just doing my job.
Love ya.
Katie-in-a-green-sweater-rolled-in-corn-shucks beats a Hot Carl any day.
Thanks. On to 200! The Double Century!
looks like a slow climb to the double century.
where's my feed bag. Com'on Levi. Hop to it you hop head.
Taking a pull
163...
I got my shock back from Canadia and 1) was going on a non-epic ride today but its rainin so I am disgruntled and 2) it does not fragrantly waft of pink canoe so I am disgruntled again.
I'll take a couple of pulls. Let me start hydrating. Catch ya later.
166
That bastard Levi gave me a feed bag full of chicken livers. He's working to get me DQ'd
it was a great day here is snobbie scranus.
no one tried to run me over
168 - and GoPro's IPO netted $427 million dollars. Not bad for a day's work...
man, it would be uber-weird to see your own mailbox on the captcha
All weekend long my dog was riding behind and drawling "ride yer little bi-sic-ull, ya piece-a-crep. Oh lawdy, cuss, cuss."
I shoulda introduced him to a bitch.
169
thank lob I don't have a mailbox.
I stick with the little hole in the wall with po boxes only for all 200 or so of us in these here parts.
Keeps the riff-raff from finding me.
ooops now 171
Hydrated. Let's go.
Hah! Creak now zorched.
Lube, good for me, good for you.
At least that's what I think she said.
what to hydrate for in the home stretch?
Sailor Jerry's?
Balvenie Double Wood?
175
25K to go. The break has been reeled in. Its groupo compacto. Just got done Mig welding the trampoline frame back together. Kids. You cant have anything nice.
Spokey - It's Tomatin's 12 year old Highland Single Malt round here these days... :)
Hydration is a tricky business sometimes.
I can not cool down.
Too many miles today
in too much heat, and I can not cool down.
So, a few square pedal turns to 200
Head in freezer, check!
Quart of froyo, check!
A/C down five degrees, check!
damn captchas are hard tonight
I gave up on this for a reason, if I recall.
Oh yeah, captchas, although the numbers are a lot easier...
Oh yeah, captchas, although the numbers are a lot easier...
Well, that and the fact that's it's kind of stupid
Page turns at 200 if I recall, or 201. Gather round...
I'm pooped, but I'll pull a little
just so some hotshot doper can come around at the end
throw their hands in the air...
and shit like that
Whoops, that was me...damn captchas
notice chumplet
that's the best one so far, get ready...going on the 12
it's been a while since we had a page turn around here
on the 11
redline...
and the winner is:
Am I going the right way? I seem to be lost...
Excuse me madam, have you by any chance seen a motley pack of cyclists pass by this way?
Epic race ya little bah-ci-cleests!
congrats BD
i can walking with enjoy obat penghilang tatto
thank you
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