If It Rains, Take The Bus. (Or Play Cards, Same Diff.)

Today's post must needs be brief-ish because none of your business, but I have seen the future of bicycle-cycling, and this is not it:

 

The music, on the other hand, has gnawed its way into my brain like termites through a "beefy" wooden bottom bracket junction:



I wonder if you can build a wooden bike with "Geared," the bicycle-building card game:

 

Seems to me that, if you and your friends are the sorts of terminal bike dorks who would play a game like this on a rainy day, you might as well pile up a bunch of spare parts and build an actual bike.  At the very least, break out the arts and crafts supplies and build a sweet fixie out of popsicle sticks, pipe cleaners, and elbow macaroni.

Then again, I do see tremendous branding potential in a bike-building card game inasmuch as it lends itself very well to co-branding, especially with NAHBS coming up in a couple months.  For example, just imagine how much fun it would be to play a Vanilla card came.  That's right, now you can experience the thrill of ordering a custom bicycle from a company that's so popular they don't even want anything to do with you.  You don't even need to leave your kitchen table to come away empty-handed!

As of June, 2011 the wait for a custom Vanilla is over five years.

We will not be accepting any deposits in 2011, but we are keeping a list of interested parties. If you want to track progress on this matter, you can email us requesting to be added to the list, or just sign up for The Vanilla Journal, and get your updates there.

So wait, that was almost three years ago now.  Does that mean the wait is down to two years, or it's gone up to eight years?  Who knows?  Either way, the Vanilla card game would be extremely inexpensive to produce, because all you'd need would be a single card that says, "We're not accepting deposits, now go buy a Speedwagen."  Then you could just move on to "Candy Land: Portland Edition!"

(Candy Land: Portland Edition! is only available as a limited vinyl release from Kill Rock Stars.)

The cards say stuff like, "Oh no!  You crashed trying to ride over the tram tracks!  Move back five spaces," and the winner is the player who eventually saves up enough money to move to Brooklyn.  ("Chutes and Ladders: Brooklyn Edition" sold separately.)

A Richard Sachs Cycles bike building card game would also be a lot of fun.  Here's a typical playing card:

("Oooh, I got the 'atmo' card again!")

Not sure if you noticed, but he uses the phrase "atmo" a lot, much to the chagrin of his auto-correct.

Actually, a NAHBS-branded home game wouldn't be a bad idea either:

Except NAHBS organizer Don Walker, who owns the concept of showing fancy bikes to people publicly, wouldn't let anybody play any other board or card game within a 50 mile radius.

(Bike Industry Fun Fact: Between them, Mike Sinyard and Don Walker own every single concept in cycling.)

If you haven't been threatened by either of these guys, you soon will be.

Meanwhile, in Boulder the 2014 Cyclocross National Championships is under way, and if you're not competing here's the next best thing:

Isn't it just like being there?  I'm certainly used to seeing nobody in front of me at cyclocross races, but that's because everyone was always lapping me.

And here's what it's like if you're using SRAM's hydraulic braking system:


 Because, you know, they don't work in the cold.  That's why a lot of people are switching over to those new mechanical disc brakes:

They've got massive 622mm rotors front and rear which are integrated with the braking surface to save weight, and wheel changes are a snap.

Nah, it'll never catch on...