Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Sartorialize This!

Remember how at the end of yesterday's post I said I was heading out for a ride?

Well, that's exactly what I did--I slammed shut the old lapping-toppe personal computing machine and I fucked right on off for a round of bicycle cycling:


It was pretty good one too, and I even finally figured out the correct "line" through a tricky (for me) section of trail that had been vexing me for months.

The universe demands balance however, and so I also slipped on some leaves while doing nothing especially challenging and fell down like a schmuck, my bike to the right of me:


And this gnarled and knotted uprooted tree to my left:


Then a woodland troll ran out of it and bit me in the scranus for loitering in front of his home.

Good thing I got that tetanus shot the other day.

Oh, I should mention I wore those Giro clothes to which I administered a good drubbing recently:


(Middle-aged bike douche in expensive clothing and riding alone in suburban park on a Monday takes world's saddest aerial "selfie.")

As it turns out, these clothes are at their best in mild temperatures (it was 50 degrees Fahrenheit, or I-can't-be-bothered Celsius), and at the relatively slow speeds one travels while mountain-bicycling.  (Not sure why they call this stuff since "New Road," since road-style bicycle cycling is the last situation in which I'd want to use it as it's all baggy and the wind cuts through it.)  So yeah, it's good for knocking around in the woods, but so is probably every article of clothing you already own.

At least the orange vest made me visible to unemployed suburbanites out walking their dogs.

Speaking of bikes and fashion, a reader in Germany informs me that Jan Ullrich has gone Full Rapha:


Who would have thought that Ol' Hapless Jan, Lance Armstrong's "eternal second," would be the one sitting pretty?  Indeed, in the topsy-turvy world of professional cycling, he's now the embodiment of success:


Whereas he used to be the embodiment of something else:


He's even got the sort of full social calendar befitting a man of success, and you can now go "Radtraining mit Jan:"


I'd totally watch a TV show called "Radtraining mit Jan," especially if it was filmed in the manner of "Sprockets."

He'll also teach you how to make a killer egg salad.  The man is a fucking genius with mayonnaise.

Meanwhile, "Sir" Bradley Wiggins in emphatically not a genius (at least with words, not sure how he is with mayo), as another reader informs me:


Wiggins, who was the BBC’s 2012 sports personality of the year, had donated an autographed shirt to the auction and was approached by an auctioneer with a microphone. Wiggins said to the auctioneer, into the microphone, “You’ve got a posh voice. I like posh voices. S*** me off.”

His joke fell flat and those at the event were reportedly shocked and disgusted by the comment.

Yes, only a bike racer would be dumb enough to make a blowjob reference (I don't see how that's a joke) at a charity event for molestation victims:

“Bradley’s remarks were at very best completely misjudged,” Malcolm Cowing, a retired PR manager, told the Daily Mail. “On a stag do maybe, but not at a dinner for victims of childhood sexual abuse.”

Wow, glad this Malcolm Cowing guy came out of retirement to make that observation, because otherwise I'm not sure we'd have been able to figure that out.

But while inviting Wiggins--whose default mode of discourse is a version of English called "Drunken Australian"--to a charity auction is a pretty dumb thing to do, it's not quite as dumb as the new London approach to cycling enforcement:


A letter has emerged in which London police officers have been ordered to catch and fine 10 law-breaking cyclists a month.

In an email, Inspector Colin Davies of the Metropolitan Police’s South East Area Traffic Garage, said: "Officers have four months to do 40 cycle tickets. Ten per month, 2.5 a week. Most officers are nearing or have even achieved their other targets. This will give them a renewed focus for a while.”

Sure, the "Let's punish the victims" approach is profoundly stupid and all, but as a New Yorker all I can think is, "Wow, 10 cyclists a month?"  That's nothing!  You can't spit in London without hitting ten cyclists wearing high-vis vests and riding folding bikes, so honestly, what's the point?


So I say fuck the traffic lights, because I like those odds!

Lastly, this past Friday was "Black Friday," and yesterday was "Cyber Monday," and in between we had the lesser-known retail event known as "Hand Job Sunday," but if you didn't take advantage of any of these you should know that, if you're holiday shopping, you should patronize some or all of the sponsors off in the right hand margin.  Also, long-time right-margin denizens Just Coffee want you to know that they're now shipping to Canada:


I had no idea they weren't shipping to Canada before, but now they are, so rejoice!  In fact, I'm relatively sure this is the first time coffee will be commercially available up in America's Icy Yarmulke.

So buy now before that last Hanukkah candle burns out.

The end.

132 comments:

mattyo said...

Podium?

RoadQueen said...

PODE!

Christian said...

Pode Chode.

Early riser bars.

Buffalo Bill said...

At last, the babe returns

Anonymous said...

I just woke up ferLob'sake!

DB said...

WTF?
I was just checking into late night comments and you're posted already!
Time to go back and read it.

Sven said...

Sven!

Anonymous said...

S'fuckwithdattree?

dancesonpedals said...

maaybe I can sing 'oh canada' and the recumbent lady will stand up & her maple leaves fall away...maple leafs! it's a bob ford conspiracy!

JB said...

There's the babe!

McFly said...

And THAT'S why I never get invited to charity auctions for sexual abuses. Would you like to touch my monkey?

Pronounced Yawn uLLLLLLrick

JB said...

“Common reasons for fining law breaking cyclists include riding on the pavement…”

RoadQueen said...

More blame the victim gaming from our cousins across the pond.

I need a sammich.

mikeweb said...

Early one. Good choice on the hi-viz vest during huntin' season.

"It's wabbit season! No, it's duck season!!"

Bod said...

I know you yanks have some funny ideas about swear words but since when was "suck" an expletive?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Hey that's cool to finally nail the tricky line. Congrats.

Sorry about the woodland troll.

Thanks for the Babe.

RoadQueen said...

Bod - the word 'Suck' in and of itself isn't an expletive.

It's when you add the "me off" in reference to your Johnson that it gets a bit...sticky.

Anonymous said...

The orange vest is a good idea during deer season...

JB said...

What happened to the suspensionway of your geared mountaining bike? Are you going steel/rigid for all of your forkways?

Serial Retrogrouch said...

20

the Jimboner MOS version said...

Still recovering from "Hand Lob Sunday".

BikeSnobNYC said...

JB,

I go back and forth. I generally prefer the rigid but appreciate suspension from time to time.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

David said...

Can't decide whether that outfit is more Death Star or Rebel Alliance.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

Bod,

RQ is right...

take WRM's comment above...

"I go back and forth. I generally prefer the rigid but appreciate suspension from time to time."

if you add a reference to his johnson, it becomes very erotic and suggestive.

Bama Phred said...

Just forking off

Yarpo said...

Bastardo!

aaaaaaaand...Scranus!

McFly said...

Nice outfit Gold Leader...perfect for when you want to bulls-eye womp rats in your T-16 back home.

[If you get this reference then you are a 40something dork]

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Serial Retrogrouch said...

WRM,

when the three images are viewed in succession: the fallen bicycle, the fallen tree, and your selfie, one feels compelled to pick up the bicycle cycle, plant another tree and say a prayer for the fallen one, and give you a big hug...

...that is the world's saddest selfie, indeed.

babble on said...

Podio-deeeeeoooooooo kisses.... XXX

RoadQueen said...

McFly - I got it. But I'm not 40 something. Maybe LSW is cooler than you think. ?

3G said...

Tuesday...more like BOOZEDAY!!! AMIRIGHT!?!?

i need to get out more

JB said...

WRM,
OK. I'm just monitoring for full-curmudgeon status (e.g., low/no maintenance).

mikeweb said...

A selfie?

When my hunnee bunne was away for the weekend a few days ago, I did a couple of selfies. I didn't use a camera though, that would be a little weird...

Possum Rider said...

What are those things rapped around your rear hub and dangling off the back of the bike?? Dare I say S*** me off old chat?? The indignity of going for ride in the park with anything other than a handmade SSCX???? This on the eve of the SSCX World F#$*ing Championships in the city of Brotherly Love, Phil-a-delphia! word, possum out

Schisthead said...

"I go back and forth. I generally prefer the rigid but appreciate suspension from time to time.

--Wildcat Rock Machine"

Did you know there is an AI programmed to recognize "that's what she said" jokes? I bet it would return 1 on this comment.

grog said...

Are you sure it was a troll, and not a gnome or elf?
Thanks for the babe!

balls™ said...

Fully rigid.


(that's what SHE said)



scranus.

Comment deleted said...

During this special time of year, I'd like to appeal to everyone's better instincts and ask that you all take a moment out of your day to think of those less fortunate than you.

Oh, and s*** me off.

crosspalms said...

I didn't used to be rad until I took radtraining. Now look at me!

leroy said...

Well, that settles that bet.

If a mountain bicycle cyclist falls in the forest and no one hears it, it still happened.

My dog better pay up.

I'm not going double or nothing on whether you can get ticketed for it too.

Could be traffic cameras out there.

Andy said...

It took me along time trying to figure out Wiggins comment before I gave up and read on.... sh*t me off? I'm a brit and a northern one... I thought he'd just coined a new insult. That's why he's a knight alright! Oh wait, he rides a bike too?!

CommieCanuck said...

Sandwiches? Everyone knows Jan was caught red handed by WADA with 12% strudel in his blood. At that time, he was riding for Giant, on his T-Mobile team, aka the Giant Mannschaft.

I really miss the KaiserJan MySpace page, that shit was funny.

Brad W said...

I would sincerely like to apologize to the Children's charity, I erred, I should not have said that. I sincerely apologize to the little cunts.

trama said...

I will always remember Jan climbing behind the furiously spinning Lance, seated, big ring, shedding brat and beer by the mile


SUCK SUCK


amosesH

McFly said...

How many tooths is on your front tooth circle? 32? I can't decide if I am man enough for 1 X.

CommieCanuck said...

Sounds like Brad took some advice from motivational speaker Robs Fords (who lives in a mansion, DOWN BY THE RIVER) on how to setup awkward moments in front of large crowds.

DB said...

Brad W for the win today.

I was waiting for someone to come up with that.

Roille Figners said...

Cover me, Porkins.

McFly said...

Nobody does a selfie like Jane Kaczmarekand a polaroid.

Anonymous said...

The woodland troll that bit you might have been a skunk, they like to live in uprooted trees. Better get rabies shots to go with the tetanus.

Anonymous said...

Nice outfit, you look like Elmer Fudd on a bike.

Top said...

Hulu has Brit TV show "The Misfits". One of the plots has a character that can summon the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, except they are ninjas that ride BMX. Revenge!

DB said...

Hey, Dooth:
Have you listened to Juiceboxxx, Front Seat of the Tacoma yet?
Pretty decent.

Minsk said...

Hey, thanks for the review!

Anonymous said...

Hi Snob, you should get a dropper post to help you clear those tech sections. The dropper post is the component equivalent of the gravel bike. Might also help you not fall over

Dave said...

Hey Frodo - Gollum called, he wants his ring back. Just leave it next to the gnarly fallen tree.

your obt. svt. Sauron, Dark Lord, etc. etc.

JLRB said...

I wonder if the bobbies will politely say "don't be an idiot" when handing out tickets for jumping the light. Really, I do wonder.

Dooth said...

Rumor has it that Sir Wiggo is planning a post-cycling career in the music business...said to be starting a band called Turned on by Posh Voices.

DB, thanks. I segued from rap to jazz circa early nineties, but I might just re-up on it.

babble on said...

Holy FUCK that was funny - Drunken Australian indeed!! I was hooting so loudly a woman walking by on the pavement outside my window heard and smiled back in surprise.

Leroy- it happened because clever Snobbers got a photo. But in big brotherhood they can use your own selfie to incriminate and ticket you, don'tcha know.

Brad W ++

Happy last day of Hanukkah Snobber Doodle Doo. Thanks for another stellar post. :D

Anonymous said...

While what Wiggins said was obviously inappropriate, if you knew the story of how his father died you probably wouldn't use the phrase "drunken Australian ", because you're not a jerk on purpose.

crosspalms said...

The Rapha cap sets off the orange vest quite nicely.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

whoa.. i didn't even know sir wiggo was an ausie... i mean that his father was an ausie... and a track champion at that...

...yes, i really doubt snob would be a dick on purpose... i mean, he is a dick in the good sense of the word... in the sense that a dick is a good thing (babs would attest to that)... but never on purpose. it's just coincidental.

Anonymous said...

Whoa, whoa, whoa. BSNYC does not run hydraulic brakes or even shockers for fuck's sake. Dooder is petrified of anything involving oil more complicated than a chain. WHY DO YOU THINK HE IS ALWAYS GOING ON about Cippolini?!?! Besides the obvious penis envy?!?!

Nope, a dropper post is out of the question. A gradual first step might be a QR seatpost binder. I predict, this will not happen.
Bike snob likes to set up his mountain cycling cycle like a mid nineties road bike.
-Boner stem- check
-long ass chainstays- check
-steep head angle
-exclusion of technological advances of the 21st century- check
FUCKTARDED ERGO GRIPS!/!?!1?!! CHECK MATE MOTHER FUCKLER

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...oh, you said jerk on purpose.

scratch that.

Anonymous said...

p.s. drunken aussies are my favorite.

ge said...

If you're going to wear that vest in the woods, you really need a gun rack on your bike to complete the look.

lletsgu - sthat you Ed Sullivan?

Anonymous said...

related....
on bike snob custom, blow smoke up your ass SS mtb, he has a custom, blow smoke up your ass cro-moly seatpost. Beyond being 1. heavy as fuck, 2. offensively expensive, this post is sleeved, so that it is IMPOSSIBLE to drop the post more than an inch. BIKE SNOB IS SO COMMITTED TO RIDING WITH A SEAT RAMMED UP HIS ASS, he paid significantly EXTRA, to get a seatpost that PREVENTS putting your seat down. Given socio-cultural stereotypes towards frugality and value, it should be obvious how married snob is to FULL EXTENSION.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 4:19,

The post isn't "sleeved," dimwit. It's marked with electrical tape, as are all my posts on all my bikes. Marking saddle height is something people who ride bikes do, so presumably you've never come across it on bikeforums.

Putz.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

I'm guessing someone is supposed to say "That's what she said" after this post?

Great comment, brah.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...WRM

...apparently, showing us your bicycle cycles, even just to illustrate how much you suck at bicycle cycling, will illicit comments akin to a stripper undressing before a bunch of teenage boys.

...one will say to the other, oh, she's not that pretty, her left boob looks away from the right boob... another will say, oh, her labia are wayyyy too big for her... wachamacallit... cunt.

NO ONE EVER said...

Let us give thanks that CJ decided to drop by.......

McFly said...

I thought you were anti-SRAM. I think I see avid BB7 dicks breaking technology AND possibly a X9 shifter. I have both. AND I LOVE THEM.

Herschel Raney said...

Would you anonymoronians shut the fuck up about Snob's bikes? I swear never to show one of mine anywhere. I may start riding around with a black car cover upon my whole mobile apparatus with my head sticking out of a ragged hole.

He has apparently been riding bikes longer than I have been drinking scotch or failing to train dogs. So damn it, I think he knows what he wants to ride.

ge said...

Tape? Sure. It's so obviously an adhesive PVC sleeve if I've ever seen one. And I should know, I have them on my seatposts too.

byassar - horny pirate robot

One Girl, Two Wheels said...

Hi vis in a forest? Interesting choice...

changuito said...

Speaking of "Just Coffee", the code to enter is "BSYNC". Shouldn't that read "BSNYC" or am I missing something?

Big Charlie said...

Drunken Australian is redundant.

Just like cracked-out Torontonian. Or nerdy bike blogger.

Or pathetic bike blog commenter.

Sigh.

crosspalms said...

changuito,
That's how the internet keeps robots away from coffee. If they had access to caffeine we'd all be doomed.

babble on said...

Grouch - thank you. Yes. Dicks are good. It's like cocksuckers... why do people pretend they don't like em?

The Rook said...

@One girl, Two wheels----that's so he's not mistaken for a deer. I guess...

Grump said...

It's always fun to hear the antics of "Pro" cyclists.

First we have Jan (I cheated a little less than Lance) Ullrich, and then Bradley (I cheated a lot less than Lance) Wiggens.
.
.

BikeSnobNYC said...

McFly,

Not at all, it's just not my first choice for the road bi-keen. I prefer Shimano to the "double tap" or whatever they call it.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

http://jlukasbrink.fatcow.com/store/media/V__C59D.jpg
I want this ScRAM T shirt. Not enough to actually BUY a bicycle related t shirt. But I like it. Courtesy of http://thisbikeisfucked.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

Bike Snob, thank you for clarity regarding your $250 artisanal, handcrafted, heavy and stupid looking seatpost. I assumed that the black band around the bottom was a lug, or sleeve, similar to the lug at the top of the post. I see now that I was mistaken. Your seatpost still sucks tho.

Marking seatpost height is important for some bike riders, not so much for others. 1/4" here or there, I don't give a crap.

Are you are aware there are methods of marking seatpost height, that do not prohibit dropping the post, like the electric tape method does? Such as a scratch with an awl, or a sharpie? More than one way to skin a cat.

I want to compare and contrast your two mountain bicycles. But I am lazy.
I will say this. The On-one with it's fucktarded dekerf style seat stay arrangement would be more symmetrical with the fucktartded cut and weld crown engin fork.
Like wise, your engin, with it's cleaner, lighter, "normal" bent seatstays would look MUCH better with the bent crown Kona fork.

Road Queer said...

For christ sake it is just a fuckin bicycle.

CycloXdresser said...

The black electrical tape on his seat post matches the black electrical tape on his nipples.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 7:47pm,

Using more words doesn't disguise the fact you have no idea what you're talking about. And it's not a "method," it's a piece of tape, dimwit. I have absolutely no desire to lower my saddle in the middle of a ride, but if I did I'd go with the "peeling off the tape method."

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Stickytits said...

Wendy O Williams and the Plasmatics!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Lance always kept Jan just close enough to smell his farts.

Dave said...

Those callow young riders that can't be bothered with optimum seat height will one day pay the price in knees gone prematurely bad. It's something adults do, like checking the oil in your car even if it's a junker. Negligence is an extreme thing. (Look up Tsunetomo Yamamoto.)Some of these kind of things I learned from my betters, and others I learned the hard way. But at least I learned.

Dave said...

Oh yeah! I've got that album, with the Cadillac crashed into the swimming pool.

NIPL TAPE

McFly said...

10-4, bro has SRAM double crap on his and I feel as though I am going to destroy it every time I ride it. We finally slapped an Ultegra derraiullerreuuiler on the front to sooth the shifting pain. I do like their off road stuff.

ouabacher said...

Yaaaaay, McFly! I've always wanted a title. But I prefer SIR 40 something dork, thank you

ouabacher said...

Oh, and when I first read the Brad article yesterday, I assumed the offending word was, "sods", cuz I was reading in an English accent at the time.

Anonymous said...

Road Queer said...
For christ sake it is just a fuckin bicycle.

For the record, I agree with you. My personal frame choice "design matrix" always factors:
geometry
looks
weight
cost
availability
I always make some compromises, limited by me being a cheap ass, and not wanting to spend more than a certain amount. There are always a few little details on my bikes that I would change, if I had my druthers, but don't bother me enough to drop the crazy dough on a custom frame, just the way I like it.

Bike Snob's engin IS a crazy expensive custom bike, made just to the his exacting specifications
http://www.engincycles.com/ordering
Base price for a frame is $2500 for steel
Stems: $300 steel
Seatposts: $250
Forks: starting at $250


That's $3300, at least, for a rigid, cromo, fork, frame, post, stem. That is fucking obscene. It's not "just a fuckin bike" at that point. It's an avatar of bikesnob's ideal mountain cycling cycle. Which is goofy as fuck.

Compared to his on one inbred. From $193.12
http://www.on-one.co.uk/i/q/FROO29VD/on_one_inbred_29er_vertical_dropout
This is a much more reasonable bike, to my tastes. Though the seatstays are disgusting and heavy. And the toptube/seat stay junction is offensive. And the geo is old school. But, AT LEAST, it is a reasonable price for a reasonable bike.
He's got a thomson post, around $80, stronger, lighter, better adjustment than the engin boat anchor artisanal bs.
Some forger alloy stem, prolly $40, again, stronger, lighter than the stupid "custom" steel on on the poofter bike.
And normal bars vs. the stupid undersized steel bars with shim on the craftsman bike.. EVERYTHING about the on one bike is better, functionally.

I have difficultly wrapping my head around what makes the engin worth $2500. There is a fellow, Doug Curtlo, that will make you a very nice custom mtb frame, with OX platinum, anyway you like it, for $990. What exactly is Engin doing for the extra $1500??
http://www.curtlo.com/about_curtlo.html

dooder that welded up the Engin

Dooder that welded up the On One

JUST KIDDING

Anonymous said...

html errars
On one welder

ouabacher said...

Anonymous.........Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Anonymous said...

SRAM cannot make a decent front derailleur. Doesn't seem like it would THAT complicated??

On mtbs, they have tried to get around front derailleurs, twice now.
-hammerschmidt. inter gear crank arm. It actually works well, but heavy, ugly, expensive, accelerates chain wear.
-1X11. Even narrower chain= not sweet. Super wide range cogset= sweet. Clutch derailleur= sweet. Wide/narrow chain ring= sweet. Exorbinant pricing (wanna say $400 for a cogset!?!? I know that is typical for road weenies, but mountain bike guys are used to $80 for a "good one" XT level, $150 for "baller status XTR)= NO SALE

I really hope the wide range cogset drifts down to 10 speed stuff. I been running 32X 11-36 on my giner, and I wish I had one or two more easy gears...



Yeah Cleveland! said...

I have no right hand margin...

McFly said...

I am considering 24 x 34/11. I just used the 24 only at the canal Black Friday and got all the speed I wanted with the 11. The 32 would kill cause we gots hills round here. HILLS.

The force is strong with you ouabacher.

Anonymous said...

McFly, have your balls fallen off??

sancho panza said...

Snob
You need to teach your bike co-op buddies (now shipping to Canada) how to spell BSNYC. Its disturbing that they can't.
Sorry about our Mayor.
Loop

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 9:09pm,

Stop trying to wrap your head around things, I think you may have snapped a brain ligament. Accept your mental limitations and move on.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 9:09pm,

Does Doug pay for your flight to Washington?

Dimwit.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

Dood, everyone knows you are supposed to keep it in your BIG RING AT ALL TIMES. They call it a granny gear for a reason, home slice.


Get rid of pussy gears = you go faster. Getting off and pushing is embarrassing. Dig deep, strength of a bear, and so on. You will get stronger. Which is teh point.

Crosspalms said...

Maybe bsync is a new coffee-loving boy band.

Anonymous said...

Bike Snob:

With the $1500 saved, you could fly out there and have an EPIC moutain bicycling adventure AND get a sweet bike for less than the price of the engin.
or just $40 for UPS.

At one of the shops I used to work at, we had a sign:
LABOR RATES:
$50 /hr
$100 /hr if you watch.
$150 /hr if you help.

This may explain the disparity in the costs of the custom frames. I'd sure as fuck want to charge extra to have a neurotic hovering over my shoulder.

Back in the dizzay, I worked at a high end road shop. North Jersey Dentists with Merlins and Kleins, with the stupid/ahead of their time pressed in bottom brackets, would always want to "watch" you fix their creaky BB's. I CAN ASSURE YOU, you do not want to watch me beat on your wunder machine with a ball peen hammer. You don't want to see how they make the sausage.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 10:22pm,

Well, I certainly know what it's like to be constantly hounded by a neurotic who thinks he knows what he's talking about.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

jokes!

anonymoose said...

I thought CJ was dead...

anonymous III said...

my penis is tired..i'm going to bed

ChamoisJuiceImpersonatrix said...

My ride is a motopecane, (sic)singlee speed 48-20 cuz I gots hills. got tired of the gears. too old for speed anyhow.

leroy said...

My dog dictated the following while I waited for the Ambien to kick in.

It's sad, but it's true,
There's something CJ can't do,
And that is write verse
That is terse.

To write and to reason
Is as simple as sneezing.
But it's something that CJ can't do
It's true.

Scratch one's post with an awl?
Go scratch Lance Armstrong's ball.
Cause you need something better to do
It's true.

So CJ next time,
try writing in rhyme
I double dog dare you
It's true.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....

McFly said...

Roses are comments.....

Violets are comments....

We suck at comments....

We also suck at rhyming....

I had my balls surgically removed to get more wattage at the crank. Plus all that mid-ride "junk shifting" just gets old.

RoadQueen said...

AWESOME comments section on this post, peeps.

MyFly - Sometimes ya just gotta cut loose the dead weight that's holding you back. We won't judge....much. XO

mikeweb said...

Tinker!!!!!!

McFly said...

The odd thing is it still get rigid.

Welcome to Pound Town ladies.

Population......you.

leroy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
leroy said...

Well now this is odd.

Found the following verse next to my sleeping dog. It's his writing, but I couldn't ask him about it. Everyone knows you're supposed to let sleeping dogs lie.


Oh happy morning that's new
There's something CJ can do
Professor Bansh Bahadur
Says see sunny Bangalore
And get an MBA too (Woo-hoo!)

ge said...

Is it just me or does CJ 2.0 seem like a robot? I actually thought his first post was generic spam until I realized it had references to the post in it. Still spam, just not generic.

helanta - guess what I want for xmas helanta?

Anonymous said...

Too much knowledge is vexing, and too much knowledge of trivial facts eventually spills into…BSNYC.

I can't rhyme, verse, or spell,
but Jeebus! Leroy,
give 'em hell.

And the em is not a printer's term
but will be comatose, long term,
CJ, worm.

Anonymous said...

RQ, thanks for commenting about the comments! I know how you regs love when that happens. Usually though, it's directed at you and how much yours suck.

Freddy Murcks said...

It's Weed Wednesday and Wednesday's post is late. Coincidence? I think not.

28 ctsnedd

CJ's Mom said...

I used to beat on CJ's little sausage with a ball peen hammer. You can bet you bottom dollar that watching that was pure joy.

RoadQueen said...

ge - I thought the same thing at first. Wowza.

RoadQueen said...

Anon @ 12:13 - By the word's most basic definition, aren't you yourself a regular?

Also, nobody cares what anyone says about the comments, as long as they aren't being a snotty bitch. I made my comment about it because I've been chuckling throughout these comments. Everyone's on FIRE!

Anonymous said...

I'm not on fire, it's not fair. It is, like, still only 6 am out west here according to my calculashuns

Villedo Valle said...

yo!

Villedo Valle said...

yo!

Anonymous said...

Spezcialiced can drink the sweat from my chamois. Assholes.

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