Monday, October 28, 2013

It's Monday, October 28th, And I Just Realized I Totally Missed The Tour de France.

Firstly, please join me in taking a moment to remember Lou Reed, rock music pioneer and bicyclist:



Now I wouldn't say Lou and I were best friends exactly, but we were once in the same dog obedience class, and that's the sort of experience that creates an enduring bond between people.

In any case, I find it tremendously inspiring that even one of the foremost architects of underground rock apparently spent his middle age the way so many of us regular schmucks do, i.e. riding around town on his wife's Jamis and getting hornswoggled into going to a dog obedience class.

You can only walk on the wild side for so long.

(And even if you do want to keep walking on the wild side you really can't, since the wild side is now the High Line, and the transsexual prostitutes have been replaced with an Apple store.)

Anyway, hopefully wherever he is now he's feeling just like Jesus's son and the goddamn dogs are doing what the fuck he wants them to for once.

Secondly, I am LOVING this whole autumn thing:


Whoever came up with the idea of inserting a brightly-colored and refreshingly cool spacer season between summer and winter (arguably the suckiest times for bicycle cycling) really knew what they were doing.

By the way, isn't that a pretty view?  (Answer: Yes, it's delightful.)  Well, what you don't see is that beyond those cliffs rides one of the highest concentrations of Freds and Tridorks in the western world, easily rivaling the crabon-and-Lycra shitshows of the San Francisco Bay Area or wherever else staggering numbers of bike dorks stalk the city's outskirts.  I, however, have become increasingly cantankerous and Lou Reed-like as I get older, and so I prefer to avoid them whenever possible by staying on the opposite side of the river and hiding in the forest:


Here, your biggest problem is small groups of people on bouncy bikes who attach cameras to their helments and make videos of themselves riding over the same rock over and over again while bellowing "Woo-hoo!" like frat boys at a kegger.  It's not really a big deal though, since they're so distracted by repeatedly falling over the same obstacle that you can just ride right by them.

Eventually though what happens is that you stop to sit down and nibble on some food while enjoying the solitude of the forest, and then off in the distance you hear the sounds of "Woo-hoos!" and breaking branches, which means they've finally tired of their rock and are in search of another, but even this isn't so bad, since they give you plenty of warning and it's easy to escape.

And in the worst case scenario, if they do manage to get close, all you have to do is scamper up a hill, because when they try to follow you what happens is they shift into their granny gears, start spinning frantically, and then just fall over sideways.

As you can see, I am well-versed in the ways of the suburban wilderness.

By the way, even though I ride with a primitive chain and not a state-of-the-art belt, my drivetrain did not get "clogged with dust:"


Wow, it's almost like chains are cheap, durable, and easy to maintain, whereas belt drives are expensive and fucking stupid.

Shockingly though, this bike (which was forwarded to me by a reader) does not have a belt drive:



Meet Steve
Steve is a 45 year-old, upper class, male. He is also a prosumer. That means he values products of professional quality. He is an avid cyclist and a businessman: clean-cut, organized, and always on time. He enjoys riding a $4,000 bike on Thursday night rides and weekends, but what he could really use is a dedicated commuter bike.

Seriously?  "Prosumer?"  This is what we are calling Freds now?  Okay, fine.  If Fred needs to waste even more money than he already has in order to have a "dedicated commuter bike" he should just buy a Budnitz, right?  Nope!  Apparently that's not what being a "prosumer" is all about, and what Fred really needs is a trunk, like he has on his Mercedes:


I don't like where this is going.

So a little tracing, a little sawing, and a little wood glue:


And there you have it, a singlespeed Softride with a storage compartment in the front wheel:


Yeah, I don't see what could possibly go wrong with this setup:


Plus, the best part about it is that all you have to do is throw in your dirty clothes, some water, and a little detergent, and you've done your laundry on the way to work:


All this from the mind of David Hotard:


Yeah, that's right.

Hotard.

It's the first and last name in prosumerist Fred-tastic singlespeed aero washing machines--though I would upgrade it with a Climax Frok, as forwarded by another reader:


Nice froks, they look very prosumerist:


But, as the site itself asks, "Why Climax?"  Well, here's why:

Every cyclist is not the same. climax will outfit you with the perfect bike based on your body type and personal cycling goals.

So basically, they look at your body, they give you a frok, and there's your Climax.

Makes sense to me.

Lastly, here's an encounter between a motorist and a cyclist that will chill you to the bone:


Hey, I know that sort of thing can be frustrating, but there's no need for obscenities.

121 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ass Monkeys…ATTACK!!!

hellbelly said...

Lou!

Anonymous said...

TOOP TEEN
PDDD UMM?

Anonymous said...

je suis dans le premier dix

Yarpo said...

Oh SHIT! THEY'RE BAAAAAAACK!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-Top Ten-YAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Flyover Bike commuter said...

Looks like the peloton is strung out today.

the Jimboner said...

Ass Ponies...PROSUME!!!

Anonymous said...

and the colored girls go do did do

Marcel Da Chump said...

I'll be your mirror

Comment deleted said...

Oh good, there's a name for that type of person I'd like to focus short bursts of hatred on: prosumers.

Joey Mc said...

woohoo - Josepi

Joey Mc said...

woohooo- Joseph

McFly said...

Transexual Prostitute? I feel like I am missing out on so much in Suburbia...

Roille Figners said...

My comment is important to you and will be posted in the order it was received.

RoadQueen said...

Top Twenty. Towards the front, but not IN the front...

ChamoisJuice said...

@RQ

I'd give anything to be one of the first 20 in you.

Anonymous said...

Top 5?

In your bum.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

i'll take 16

Anonymous said...

Im listening to The Smiths

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
leroy said...

I don't mean to brag, but my dog and I went to obedience classes and I got better grades.

But he did get us a sweet gig marshaling for the Tour de Bronx this weekend.

I even got my picture on the cable news.

My dog was so impressed he had me sign his authograph book a whole bunch of times.

His autograph book looks a lot like my checkbook, but he assures me that's just one of those serendipitous coincidences life sometimes presents.

Still, as far as serendipitous coincidences go, I would have preferred meeting Lou Reed.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Duh forgot to make it turn blue.

Lou Reed -- by The Little Willies

Schisthead said...

Wouldn't being a prosumer and prosuming imply that you are a career consumer, and that's how you make the money to then go prosume? How many people are sponsored prosumers these days?

On a personal level, are you offended that someone ELSE decides what crappy bike thing you're going to make fun of today? Does it make you feel like a newb-sumer or slave-sumer?

Getting weirder all the time...

Yarpo said...

Holy Frok!

Congrats to Ass Monkey Handler, hellbelly, and Anon 12:34.

I'm typing from underneath the bed because, well, Ass Monkeys are attacking, launched by The Handler in his/her/it's 3-minute glorious lead to Podio Victory.

Snob, I am not part of the crabon-and lycra sideshow here in the Fran Sanflisco Bay Area, but a devotee of the aluminium-and-lycra-clad-demi-horde of same. Thank You.

As soon as the all-clear signal is given, I will venture out on my day-off Fred Ride, though ready to bail and hide should the Ass Monkeys return.

Stay Alert, people!!

dana said...

How about 'protard'?

Serial Retrogrouch said...

haha.... hahaha... you suck, man.
you scared the hell out of me because in that last vid image you see a circle below the car... then you say chilling, and i assumed there was a bicycle below the car. then... hahahaha... relief... frok relief... hahaha

climax

Anonymous said...

Satellite's gone way up to Mars

Soon it will be filled with parking cars

I watched it for a little while

I like to watch things on TV.

crosspalms said...

ProSumer is icumen in, Lhude sing cuccu

grog said...

Hooray for bubble-babe.
Where's Recumbabe?

Anonymous said...

My life was saved by rock and roll

and helments

and dick breaks.

theEel said...

RIP LR

weed.

Innovative Thinker said...

I will now cram my perfectly functional messenger bag into the scranus that is my front wheel.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

FRNT LODR

Anonymous said...

Poop chute McLovin' fudge packin' fun times.

Anus.

RoadQueen said...

I bet that Prosumer Commuting cycling beikcycle is a real mother-fucker to do a poppawheelie on when it's loaded.

Ah, Autumn. So pretty, yet so cold.

FUCK COLD

DerZoots said...

Prosumer is a word poached from the pro-audio world.
There is professional level equipment.
Then Prosumer.
Then garbage that last two years at best.

In Fred terms.

Dura-Ace
Ultegra
Sora

So there you have it.
This guys 4K whip is mid level.
The article is accurate in a sense.

The end.


Robotcatchpfrase: omaresul 13

bk jimmy said...

crosspalms just got medieval on hotard's ass

Anonymous said...

Me arsehole is a' turtlin'!

Me's gots ta get to a toilet!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Ass Monkeys are much like herpes. They go away for a while but inevitably return again to annoy.

babble on said...

You haven't LIVED till you've been hornswoggled, frocked, and climaxed. I mean, really.

Anonymous said...

Watch out for Road Queen's Snagglepuss Vagina!

Ya wouldn't want to get your front wheel caught in that.

Roille Figners said...

How prosumptuous.

Q: Can we give a bike a trunk, with no lid, so that your stuff gets covered in road-filth while you're riding, and gets stolen while you're parked? Also can it be completely non-detachable (unlike the rack'n'panniers that were invented like 800 years ago) so that to avoid said theft you must take your items out one by one by one and carry them in a big unwieldy mess of random individual objects, or put them in some sort of bag first (i.e. double-contain them)? And finally, when it comes time for wheel maintenance can it be as complicated a clusterfuck as possible? Can we do that?

A: Yes, yes we can.

It's just like Sister Ray says.

RoadQueen said...

Roille, a clusterfuck would probably be a lot more fun than what changing that tire presumably entails.

Just sayin'.

McFly said...

I really was hoping for something different when I clicked on Climax Frock. It really is a great idea. They are doing amazing things with Scotchgard.......

Roille Figners said...

All these design douches and their presuming customers need to be punched in the face with my full Monday morning fury and also my fist.

Well you shouldn't do that
Don't you know you'll stain the carpet

Blog Drafter said...

Gold...Heaven, a place where dogs obey...gold, Snob, gold (where's KB when you need him?)

mikeweb said...

Dog obedience class... right.

We all know that was really a monkey obedience class.

HLPR VITO

bk jimmy said...

I hope SRAM is pleased with their investment.

Maybe CamelBak can get on board too. An integrated drinking tube through the steerer would allow the prosumer to proslurp up all the rainwater that collects in the doorless trunk. Naturally a dedicated commuter shouldn't have it's clean lines interrupted with a bottle cage.

Roille Figners said...

You, me, Babs, Frillz, now THAT'S a clusterfuck I can "get behind" chortle chortle

OK I feel better now.

LuckyLucy said...

RQ, I love the new pic! Is that you, or someone else? Sorry, I wasn't sure if you actually knew how to ride a bike.

Roille Figners said...

To my knowledge Lou Reed never complained that people on the bus weren't waving to him. So that's something.

Anonymous said...

It seems like a box that attaches to your rear rack would do the same job and not mess with your steering. But what do I know, I'm not a prosumer.

JLRB said...

Why not ride the $4,000 fredcycle to work?

What that commuter nightmare needs is a dolly seat and a 15 n 1 bike tool

http://www.skymall.com/search?q=bicycle

JLRB said...

Lou Reed? How can you even see him - the blue bicycle draws the eyes to it to the exclusion of all else


rooftio 19

babble on said...

Lucky Lucy, and whatever else you're calling yourself today- WTF?! Didn't your mama teach you any manners?

Karma must be a bitch for you.

PBateman said...

what does the e-Fox say? "that wasn't very nice of you ma'am"

you know what i'n a prosumer of? vaginas. i eat those up.

BamaPhred said...

Late to the party. Ambushed by those ass monkeys. Fortunately I was able to ride them off my wheel.

Hotard. Just too easy to be super offensive with that. Gonna leave that one alone.

Scranus.

McFly said...

Babble, heal well and take it easy. Maybe you could take this as an excuse to get a very pretty trike bicycle to use lightly while you mend and are feeling wobbly. :)

Thinking of you and sending all the positive karma I can muster your way. XOXO

Buffalo Bill said...

Do I have to fill out some sort of form to get my 57 seconds back?

mikeweb said...

I think someone hacked McFly's account again.

RoadQueen said...

It's like BSNYC's blog is haunted by evil spirits or something.

Anybody have some white sage on them? Anyone?

LuckyLucy said...

Babs, karma must be a bitch for me? I'm not the one with double vision.

balls™ said...

Reinventing the pannier? What's next, reinventing the penny-farthing?

http://www.dezeen.com/2013/10/28/concept-1865-electric-bike-by-ding3000/

These "designers" really need to get out and research someplace where they sell bicycles and bicycling accessories. If only there were such a place...

SCRANUS

Anonymous said...

Ride into the Sun Lou

McFly said...

Good Call MW. Geez. Maybe I should fade to black. AND THE COLORED GIRLS SING DO DODO DODO DO DO DO

Dooth said...

What goes on in your mind?
I think that I am falling down.
What goes on in your mind?
I think that I am upside down.
Let it be good, and do what you should,
you know it'll work alright.
Let it be good, do what you should,
you know it'll be alright.

RIP Louuuu Reeeeed

Roille Figners said...

I know huh, any day McFly talks about positive karma instead of pussy (maybe they're the same) then you have to question the basic laws of the universe.

Anonymous said...

CJ is seriously creepy the way he hijacks peoples names. When he gets mine I'm going to be pissed.

Yeah Cleveland! said...

Busy day and I'm way late.

Anonymous said...

Comment deleted

This comment has been removed by ..

IF YOU LIVED HERE YOU'D BE HOME NOW...

that is all.

Anonymous said...

CJ Said,

Mom, Dad, sit down I have something to tell you...

Super Mario said...

I consider myself to be a hosumer.

babble on said...

Yes, for sure my destiny is a function of my density.

Even so, I do my best to create happiness for myself and others, and always strive to be kind and compassionate.

Anonymous said...

babble, nice words. But I'm not buying the kind and compassionate part. I want to believe, however. Yet, you spew venom as well as anyone here.

Anonymous said...

I recently told the hot red head I was over her, but thankful that she helped me reassess my prioirities in life. She didn't like that very much. REDHEADS BE CRAZY!

I really despise what you wrote me. I can not stop thinking about it. It was just so horrible what you wrote me and manipulative. It is just the cherry on top of all the shit you have given me. I want to show the world how egotistical and disgusting you really are. I hope your true light shines through so that others may glimpse at the reality that exists within you. All you care about is sex and mating and you have no respect for women. You make women feel like meat, mooch, and are verbally manipulative, and then walk around talking about how awesome and successful you are. You are extremely selfish and sociopathic. You want to tell your new girlfriend that men are attracted to younger women and that women better hurry up and find a man? I'm sure that would go over really well. I have met so many men that are nothing like you and actually have respect for women. You pretend like you are so forward thinking and intelligent but really you just spout off random facts about shit that you read somewhere and when someone comments on it, you don't listen and repeat the same point you just made. You are a rich little New York kid who's daddy made it big and you are riding his wave because you have half of his DNA. I have always tried to make some point to myself that perhaps you did respect me and that is why I embarrassed myself by staying with you as long as I did. That will never prove to be true. Once someone spits in your face and kicks you in the back (oh so horribly literally), there is no going back.

JB said...

Loose Lucy is my delight.

Captain Hornblower said...

Babble has been "hornswoggled". One can well imagine that a video of that would be interesting viewing.

Roille Figners said...

Interesting, she wants to show the world, you actually help her do it.

Freddy Murcks said...

"That was very nice of you, maam" is definitely my new "that was really fucking necessary, asshole."

mywayo 21

ChamoisJuiceIsAFookinIdiot said...

Anonymous, when it is the nom de plume for CJ, is a fookin' idiot.

577 tisural

Anonymous said...

I've been feeling insanely motivated and confident about my new business venture. I'm really excited about the future, and am sooo glad I have found an oppurtunity to do what I am passionate about. I am confident that it will be a success, and that I will actually earn a pretty solid income, and have time off in winter.

This confidence is spilling over into other parts of my life. I have been interested in a girl for a few years. She is a graphic designer, makes art for fun, rides bikes for transportation. I have enjoyed her company and considered her a friend for a few years. I was always attracted to her, but never made moves because
1. I thought I was such a mess she wouldn't go for it
2. it would be temp physical thing, and would be weird after. It's honestly a lot harder for me to find friends than it is girls who want to mess around, so I didn't want to fuck that up.

Anyways, I told her how I feel about her, and she's into it.
I really wanted to be with you, take care of you, more than anything in the world, and it was really tearing me up. I've been pretty delusional in ignoring obvious signs that it will never work. I think I am ready to move on.
I will always care about you and wonder what if?
I am really sorry that I was such a fuck up and did so many bad things, and feel like I have screwed up your ability to have a healthy relationship.

You are a beautiful, smart, caring woman. There are a lot of good men out there. The older you get, the more the good ones have been snapped up already. At my age, the vast majority of smart, sexy, sane women are off the market. The ones that still are, have serious flaws that have driven others away.

I would highly suggest, not waiting until your 30's to find a good man. Most men are looking for younger women. Seriously, check out OKCupid, 32-40 age range for women. There are a BAZILLION career driven, educated, fit women on there. Not many takers. Successful men are desirable to younger women with less baggage and more fertility. I know this sounds shallow, but people are shallow.

Anonymous said...

She rides a Surly Crosscheck. I would judge the fuck out of a dood for riding this bike, but it's pretty cool bike for a girl.

Salty and Sore said...

Hack-sumerism?

Douche-sumerism?

Anonymous said...

She uses an old pro-tec skate helmet. It's got a gullwing sticker on the back and she wears it without the strap connected. That's kind of hot, right?

Anonymous said...

She doesn't have a TV, but watches Breaking Bad episodes at the library.

Anonymous said...

-Bern healment.

-young people use computers to watch TV. Torrents, streaming sites and what not.

She is bubbly, personality wise as well as physically. She does not know how to play chess and her favorite author is Tom Robbins(fuck that guy). She has a FANTASTIC ass.

Road Queer said...

Hogcock.

babble on said...

re: anonyshallow
speak for yourself

Lucky-loo
Do I screw up in the face of naked hostility? Sometimes.
Do I own up when I make mistakes? Usually.
Do I care what an anonymous internet troll might think of me? Lol! You really ARE funny, bless you. :D

Comment deleted said...

CJ @ 3:27: You are the strangest sort of person; I don't understand how you can function with all this self-loathing. You're intelligent enough to recognize what you did to her; why do you celebrate it by making it public?

Start treating people better.

Anonymous said...

She smells perfectly musty, in the way only achieved by being clean but not worrying if she smells of ripe peaches.

David Byrne said...

did Lou Reed own a car? I don't.

Vegas said...

When I scrolled past Mr. Reed I assumed the blue bike was a Citybike one, till you esplaind it were a Jamis.

One friend of a friend who joined us on a mountainousing beik 50mi ride last weekend was the only one not double-sprung. It was fine for the beginning and end which were big chunks of pavement to get to the trail, and even for the uphill trail, but the riding of the downhill trail caused him much pain, anguish, and consternation. Not all trails call for boingy+boingy, but we prefer the ones that do. We gave him big ups for not knowing what he was getting into but slugging it out on the hardtail anyway. But the only other choice was riding back Up the trail, so not much of a choice actually.

Unfortunately the warshing merchine bike doesn't have an agitation cycle in that configuration. And even if it did, your kit and soapy water ain't stayin in for too many pedal strokes without a lid. A LID! Notice that the hairplain overhead compartment and the Expencedes both have LIDS that LATCH. Also so does every design sketch they show, EXCEPT the one they went with. Way to go, dipshits. A trunck that isn't aero, isn't protected from the elements, and isn't lockable. Congratulations, you designgeneered the trunk out of the trunk.

CommieCanuck said...

I recently told the hot red head I was over her, but thankful that she helped me reassess my prioirities in life. She didn't like that very much.

Maybe if you referred to a person by something other than the "hot redhead", things would work out, unless she referred to you as "that retarded brownscalp".

McFly said...

I screw in the face of naked hospitality. AS LONG AS THERE IS A CLIMAX FROCK HANDY! Wakka wakka.

Anonymous said...

babble, you care enough to show your teeth.

Frilly Chick said...

McFly it's Wacha Wacha.

Carry on.

Roille Figners said...

No CJ dude, it doesn't matter about your new business or what kind of fuckin healemenette she wears; you WILL screw this one up too, and by that I mean, "wherever you go, there you are." Give it a minute will ya? Try just chilling by yourself for a while, see how long you can actually tolerate it. Also RE people's flaws, they ALL have "serious flaws," young and old alike, and even if you find one who has none, you'll be the one with the flaws.

If you can't do the heavy lifting it's better to just stick to random sexypants and senseless acts of fucking. Why even aspire to any sort of long-term relationship? IT'S OKAY

Anonymous said...

THANKS LOU!!!!.....

-the silent assassin-

wishiwasmerckx said...

Roille, please do not tell me that you actually believe a word of CJ's screed. I promise you that not a word of it is true.

CJ is so odious that his own right hand broke things off with him, and now he must resort to pleasuring himself with his left hand...

wishiwasmerckx said...

...and 100th...

Anonymous said...

WIWM, are you seriously THAT FUCKING TONE DEAF to human interaction, that you can't tell I am left handed?!?!?!

Seriously, I think you are more socially retarded than I am...

I met hot redhead when she was 23.... She was just barely within the half your age plus 7 range of societal propriety.
I met her riding bikes with my dog. She was riding bikes with a mutual friend. I invited them both to the waterfront for gin & tonics with my delinquent bike rider friends. Got those digits and went dancing at the local gay bar later that night.
I tried the old "can you feel my boner?" line while grinding, and she did not bite.... "I am a good girl". I thought I had ruined my chances, but we ended up fooling around. She did make me wait 3 days before letting me put my schmeckle inside her.

At first, I didn't really care about her: I was insanely attracted to her, but she was so much younger and more innocent, that I wasn't challenged by her, and didn't expect it to last very long.

I ended up falling in love with her. We traveled together, she met my folks, ETC. My parents are in love with her. She is a sweet heart, hard working, nurse. I fucked that one up....

She called me, today. I kinda thought we were done communicating, after that last email exchange. I try to get over her...
step 1. Bhuddist monk phase, master of my own domain.
step 2. get really horny, fuck naive girls.

This was not satisfying, as the new conquests could not compare to how beautiful and sexy I find hot red head, nevermind the redhead je ne sais qua that I have no idea was so addicting until I had a taste.

The 21 year old stoner chick was close to making me forget how good the sex was with HRH, though she was only tolerable while stoned out of my gourd and entering BONE ZONE.

Women that I am actually interested in mentally, tend to only be interested in me sexually. WHICH IS VERY IRRITATING.

Bhangibastard said...

I want to read aboot fookin' bike shite. All you wankers sound like a fookin' bandarlog.





ken e. said...

which is a what exactly? did John Cleese fight one in the Holy Grail?

Anonymous said...

i really really really hope they make that bike. I'd never feel embarrassed about my looks on a folding bike seeing those around.

wishiwasmerckx said...

CJ, don't try to sprinkle your fantasy conquests with French phrases. You don't have the intellectual chops to pull it off, much less spell it.

There is one ultimate truth to your ramblings, however. It seems as if girls either get their kicks above the waistline or below; almost never both. If you find one such creature, she is definitely a keeper.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Oh, and another near-universal truth? Firebush is almost always a wild ride...

wishiwasmerckx said...

...as Gingers are often possessed of that certain je ne sais quoi...

Mr Nofish said...

I really need to stop reading DC Rainmaker's Week in Review, he's spoiling the KickStarter humor for me.

DerZoots, what about you leave the Fredlitism to the archetypical bikeforums user with a compulsive need to belittle anything that isn't as expensive as the stuff on the 3 dentist bikes they never ride, and pretend to know what they're talking about?

skipper said...

He's just trying and failing to live out his fantasy of doing Ginger on Gilligan's Island.

ChamoisJuiceIsAFookinIdiot said...

Oh, CJ. I am sorry to have to break it to you, but the reason for the non-response that you got from the redhead is that she COULD NOT feel your boner. If anything, she might have been thinking that you had a little stub of a golf pencil in your pocket.

ge said...

1. Ned Flanders has a helment cam? Nice.
2. Fuck you David Byrne. That's not cool.
3. Anon, go see a therapist already.
That is all.

ouabacher said...

Wife's response to Lou's passing: "who? It's not like he was a member of KISS or anything." Currently preparing weekend lesson on rock n roll (It saved my life).

Anonymous said...

Why the fuck would I pay someone $100 an hour to listen to my fucked up stories, when I can tell you for free???

USA is not Canada, eh? Health care is not free. I would have to work more at a job I don't like to pay for it, would have less free time to do things I enjoy. I will spend my money on weed and bike parts, thanks for the advice tho

McFly said...

Don't forget. It's Titty Tuesday.

babble on said...

Frok yeah.

Hey. If you're a hotard, can you still be chillin?

Frokin Hell! The future is now. Vancouver has the world's first Bitcoin ATM opening up at nine am today!

Anonymous said...

e-assist pennyfarthing?

ICR said...

I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF!!!

boston's inferiority complex said...

I was in NYC over the weekend. few things:


cars don't stop for you like they do in Boston, and they drive wicked fast.


lots of people biking in soho, still nowhere close to the level of Cambridge, but enough to appear impressive.


Washington square is much cleaner than I remember.


bagels are as good as I remember.


citibike looks like a smurf threw up on hubway.

Flynn said...

I have to say, if I was riding around on Laurie Anderson's Jamis, I'd be thrilled. It probably has violin strings instead of shifter cables, and the brakes make whisper laugh noises.

Hegnawed Hertitsov said...

The Red Skelton was very funny with the solipsistic humor.

Basen Eritme said...

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