Friday, October 25, 2013

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz SL With Extra Bonus Material!

Hello.

I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see a video about bike safety.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and also ride safe.


--Wildcat Rock Machine




(Sharing!)

1) Delia Ephron does not like Citi Bike because:

--Red
--Yellow
--Green
--Blue


All right, that's the quiz, you're done.  Now let's celebrate the greatest oligarchy the world has ever known--America!!!



How talented was Whitney Houston, right?  I tear up every time I hear this.

Anyway, in what was truly a great day for America, I saw on the UrbanVelo where Ray LaHood basically threw down and was all like, "trains and bikes and people and stuff, motherfuckers:"



Unfortunately he's not the Secretary of Transportation anymore, so that's a bummer.

Meanwhile, probably-next-mayor-of-New-York-City Bill de Blasio basically admitted he's going to spend his first term deliberating any further cyclist and pedestrian improvements right into the ground:

Obviously on pedestrian safety, on bicycle safety, on bike lanes, on Citi Bike the point is we ought to keep looking at specifics and in certain specific instances we may find there are tweaks we want to make or improvements we want to make. That’s what a mayor should be doing, is looking to make sure the implementation is going the way its supposed to and making changes where they find problems.

I gotta hand it to him, he took the All-Powerful Bike Lobby™ in this town but good.  This guy's so crafty he should open up a three-card monte stand in Times Square, where pretty soon there won't be a pedestrian plaza anymore.  Then he can appoint this guy Commissioner of the DOT:



In hacky comedian school, after they teach you how to juxtapose the walking styles of black people and white people, they then show you how to ridicule cyclists.  Here's how you craft a really killer cyclist bit:

1) You segue from dating into how you like totally need to lose weight so you're all working out and stuff;
2) In so doing, you encounter these cyclists people (like, I know, right?!?);
3) In describing the cyclists, it's essential to imply they're all homosexuals, which allows you to showcase your moronic hacky gay voice without insulting gay people directly;
4) Close with some great stuff about hitting them with your car on purpose.

Depressingly, I tweeted this, and somebody thought it was funny.  Why?  Because he "actually knows the laws:"
Oh for fuck's sake.  Yeah, I suppose I should laugh, because assholes like this hack have actually tried to hit me with their cars, so it's totally relatable.

Maybe we'd all get more respect if we rode around in these:



Tired of filling up your tank? Tired of spending hours circling the beach looking for a decent parking space? Well, we are too! The E-fox is the cleanest way to make your daily commute or just a joy ride more efficient and also fun! Ever dreamed of  riding your bike to work but hate the thought of showing up hot and sweaty? Not anymore.

How exactly do you circle a beach?

Oh, yeah, this is how:

 

A reader forwarded me this video, and it is one of those rare videos in which the music and footage being equally awesome.

Here's more footage of the "e-fox" in motion:



Does he really need to wear a helment?  I mean, isn't he basically riding around in a great big helment already?

Speaking of great Americans, they don't get much greater than huckster Old Man Budnitz and his line of designer bicycles.  Until now, Budnitz basically just sold mountain bikes without the frame clearance you'd need to use them as mountain bikes, but those days are over, because now another reader tells me he actually wants to sell you a mountain bike:



Weighing in at just 18 pounds, the new Budnitz No.2M is the greatest recreational mountain bike ever made.

Yeah, no, sorry, this was the greatest recreational mountain bike ever made:



And I thought this Budnitz character was an artist.

Anyway, it's not just a mountain bike.  It's also a "gravel assault vehicle," because gravel is So Hot Right Now:

Fast, simple, and ridiculously fun to ride, this bicycle is a lightening fast dirt and gravel assault vehicle that flies over ruts, roots, and rocks as if it had a shock absorber built into it — without the power loss and extra weight of actually having one.

"Lightening?"  "Shock absorber?"  Is Budnitz farming out his copywriting to the local middle school?  In any case, he sure knows his bike tech. Does the bike also come with "clicky-type peddles," or do I have to buy those myself?

Our engineered titanium cantilever frame provides lateral stiffness for speed and tight handling, while organically absorbing trail shock to such an extent that in its October 2013 review Culture Cycles called the Budnitz Mountain’s handling “magic”.

Ooh, it's "engineered! " That's what makes it so laterally stiff and organically absorbing.

Mid-size 650B (27.5-inch) wheels power over bumps like a 29’er, without sacrificing the nimble cornering of a smaller wheeled 26‘er MTB. Paired with a powerful White Brothers Rock Solid carbon fork, this titanium bicycle is screaming fast off the line, while maintaining a supple ride that will leave you asking for more.

May I have more please, Mr. Budnitz?

Apparently so:

Silent carbon belt drive is nearly indestructible, won’t get clogged with dust, and requires no grease. Singlespeed, or 14-speed Rohloff internal transmission. Hydraulic or mechanical disc brakes. Internal cable routing, top-of-the line components, and endless fun on dirt, sand, slick rock, and mud.

Good, I hate when my bicycle chains get clogged with dust.

You know, on second thought, I don't want to talk about America anymore.  It's just too depressing.  Instead, let's travel to London, where the people area are all polite and genteel and erudite and stuff:



Wow, that was profoundly embarassing.  When folding bike fights folding bike, the only loser is dignity.

And finally, let's Celebrate Yorkshire, where they are threatening to unleash "the greatest Grand Départ in the history of the Tour de France:”


“We will raise the bar for all future hosts with our Cultural Festival 100 days before the race, two stunning stages and a legacy that leaves a cycling imprint on the county which lasts for generations..."

So basically, we're supposed to come for the Cultural Festival and then hang around killing time for 100 days, just eating pudding and waiting for the bike race to start.

Yeah, that's a legacy that's going to last for generations all right.

You know, I'm beginning to suspect people from Yorkshire may be prone to exaggeration:




I can totally relate.

97 comments:

babble on said...

Happy Friiiiiidayyyyyyyy!!

babble on said...

Nearly naked sharing Friday, no less. Mmmmmmm... :)

Flyover Bc said...

Podium again

samh said...

AYHSM (podium) B

babble on said...

Where are my kisses??!

Tal F said...

Top 10!

Brontodon said...

Top ten!

Anonymous said...

Herbal remedy

mikeweb said...

Read it.

Didn't watch all 48 videos yet though.

Double vision babble with the double podium!

balls™ said...

I would post naked, but I actually like this job.

Anonymous said...

Top teen!

streepo said...

scranus.
oh and xxxooo.


28 bedsolo

g. said...

Aced the quiz this week!

Anonymous said...

Ooof!! that last climb got me

Serial Retrogrouch said...

someone's winning double as well as seeing double.

Marcel Da Chump said...

De Blasé mayoral candidate.

DB said...

Hell Yes!
Double kisses for Ms. Babble.
I aced the quiz.

Pisstank said...

Crunched my bag(s).

Comment deleted said...

A little pitchy, dawg.

Krakow said...

I'm not sure how the e-fox is going to stop me from showing up at work hot and sweaty....it seems heavier than my Fredcycle, and with the windscreen there's a definite loss in ventilation, as well as a significant increase in wind resistance. Perhaps because all the tough kids from the middle schools I pass on the way to my office will so frequently stop me to beat about the hindquarters that I will never be able to work up much of a heart rate?

Blog Drafter said...

Damn, how did I miss that question?

Kisses to Babble xoxoxo.

Bottom bracket's pretty high on that Budnitz No.2M. That sucker's going to be tippy. Good for the target demographic, I guess.

Anonymous said...

Budnitz is ok, dudes. I always like outfits who profit mightily from the members of the idiot class.


DUST PRUF
BELT DRIV

P.S.: 14spd rohlhoff sucks energy from legs in some ratios faster than banging an entire yoga class

475asessiba

DerZoots said...

Laugh robustly I did. Not quite a guffaw but hearty none the less.





Robotcatchingphrase: 530 arervei


Have the sox lost the america world serial number yet?

DB said...

Random question for NYC denizens: the Mrs. and I are coming in over the Christian holiday. We will be wearing helments on the sidewalks so we don't get hit by falling drones and cars driving on the sidewalks, thank you, Snob. Anyone been to One if by land, Two if by Sea? Haven't eaten there yet. Thanks.

babble on said...

HELLA YESSSSA! Collecting kisses! Best way to end the week. :D

Ride safe and ride safe? That's keeping the rubber side down on all counts. Pope babbles would give away condoms at churches. Just sayin'...

I tried to keep the bike between me and the gound last week - at least I kept my hands on the bike, right? Still no helmet... sigh.

Circle this, beeches!

I cogito therefore I am.

Anonymous said...

Why are american airports such shit?

RoadQueen said...

WOOT BABBLE! You GO girl!

Double podio kisses for sure XXOOXXOO and a set for Flyover Bc as well!

I don't see the e-fox purpose, either. When I read the part about not being hot and sweaty, I thought maybe they'd figured out how to equip the thing with A/C.

I watched the whole damn video waiting for them to explain the cooling properties of this vehicle. Now I now the answer: 'Taint none.

It does look like sort of a fun little vehicle, though.

Regular guy said...

Did you see the guys leaning against the pickup in the second e-fox video? Looked like they were thinking "damn, if I run over that thing, I'mo dent m'truck."

ge said...

No sense reading this at work today as it mostly references a fuckton of blocked content. The 48 videos should make for a busy weekend.

Creepo said...

so hungry for bike

Buffalo Bill said...

Bansai!

165 orkeymen

Creepo said...

hahaha goofer I got your bike

Freddy Murcks said...

Wow! A fully rigid titanium MTB bicycling bicycle with mechanical dick brakes and a Gates(tm) belt drive. That's original. Keep up the good work, Buttnitz.

Sincerely,
Freddy

167 rtsdsul

Regular guy said...

I find the e-fox slightly appealing, for those days when a bit of shelter would be nice on the commute. Also, the electric assist would be needed to lug that thing up the hill to home. But where would I park the thing? Wont fit in my bike locker at work and I will never pay to park a vehicle while I work.

93 orectobs, anyone know what that is in ounces?

Mr Plow said...

Efox whoo hoo! Speed is apparently 17 miles per hour.

I have to grease my chain now

the Commentariat said...

Kisses to BabbleOn in the Brooks saddle region, if you catch my drift.

wishiwasmerckx said...

BabbleOn, I usually do not offer up congratulations on podium finishes, but in your case, I am willing to make an exception.

About this "nearly naked sharing Friday," thanks a lot. You just got me thrown out of Kinkos.

Freddy Murcks said...

I think Buttnitz just looks at whatever sorts of bikes that WalMart is selling and then makes the high falutin titanium version(s) thereof. It probably even includes the chronically creaky eccentric bottom bracket. How about "18lbs of HELL NO."

okssag 17

wishiwasmerckx said...

A perfect score on this week's quiz!!!

I have seen that e-fox before. Snoopy used to drive one in those cartoons.

Lastly, only after watching that hydrofoil video did I finally embrace what CJ was trying to convey about the "goofy tiller effect." I get it now.

Anonymous said...

...wait, but what about your new brooks saddle?

RoadQueen said...

On the E-Fox Kickstarter page, I watched the video titled "Candy going to work".

She began by unlocking her bike lock...FROM AROUND A LOW-HANGING TREE BRANCH.

Huh? Can't figure out a way to prevent theft besides chaining the fiberglass frame to a tree? That seems mildly inconvenient...

crosspalms said...

If I had to sleep next to someone playing the piano I'd probably howl too.

Hats off to Ray LaHood, the guy makes sense.

Anonymous said...

Dear Babble,

Kisses to you and feel better!!

Dear Babble On and Road Queen,
If I ever win the Cat 6 Manhattan Bridge Rush Hour Downhill, I want youze two as my podium girls !!

vsk


Dear Knog,
I bought a rear Blinder due to the copious adverts here (I'm not a Brit, just don't want to spell out the full version of advert). Red Anodized, cause that's how I roll (I don't talk like that, just trying to build up and burnish down some street credentials). * Lemmetellya, it's very blindery. Works great.*

Red metallic and red ano (not that I'm too 80s, just waiting to get a Members Only shoulder padded jersey).

Anyway, it's Happy Friday.

vsk

A Roar for Ms. Babble said...

Babble, Queen for a day!!!! Well, I don't mean she's a queen, like the queen that comes to mind when you see the word queen, when reading this blog anyway. Blowing one kiss to Babble's left cheek, now blowing one kiss to Babble's right cheek. XO XO XO to top of the podium. I see she's #2 on the podium too. Undoubtedly due to her double vision.

Frilly Chick said...

Congrats Babbs!

Has Anybody Here Seen Frilly, Frilly the Tushed Lady... said...

We have Babble's legs, we have Road Queen's Chest, but where has Frilly's tush gone?

Has Anybody Here Seen Frilly, Frilly the Tushed Lasy... said...

Now that is Karma.

McFly said...

I just may get me an E-Fox. In case I never ever want to have epic sexy times with a human female for the rest of all time.

Anonymous said...

Woooooottttt! HALLOWEEK! The one time a year where it is acceptable, NAY, desirable to wear stretchy pants in public as a man!

Costumes are the best.
-Show off the legs and junk
-display wittiness and individuality externally
-girls are in bone zone mood.

Cipo Sees, Cipo Wants said...

Frilly Chick, Please get a pair of those inverted chevron riding panties, put on, photograph and then substitute photo for the pussy cat. Meowwwww.......

DB said...

Five letters to the editor today in the NYT re: Delia's rant.

babble on said...

If you saw a fox in an e-fox, would that be a foxy-e-fox?

Thank you for all of the kisses. Mmmm kisses... :)

anonywooooot? Happy girls are always in the bone zone.

babble on said...

... mood.

:D

mikeweb said...

Frilly!!

I will wish your Cards the best of luck - starting next spring.

Go Sox!!

Dooth said...

Stand up comedians who aren't funny...don't you just want to bump them over the head with u-lock? Not enough to hurt them, but...

Roille Figners said...

A "lightening fast" bike would, I presume, get lighter as it goes faster, quite contrary to what Einstein said.
--> No wonder it's so goddamn fast.

RoadQueen said...

Whoa, Roille...

What happened to the handlebars?

Stinky bare feet said...

No Sox!

Roille Figners said...

struck by lightening

(safe for your shitty fucking job)

JLRB said...

"I take exception to people calling me a bloody idiot" - Really? Bring some enthusiasm to the mini-wheeled bike fight boyz!

And what is with the "It might be in America but I'm doing it" line?

And why are the bike lanes six inches wide over-wherever-the-hell-that-was-shot?

In Yorkshire the bike lanes are under the pavement.

4shinalso (I guess as in I kicked him in the shin also?)

Roille Figners said...

Hey RQ -- figger'd autumn's the time for old-ass retired Rollie in the autumn of life. Handlebars are still there but they're more like straight ones as opposed to the curlicue ones like they youse on them bikes with the clicky peddles in the Tower dee French.

RoadQueen said...

Roille, I'm diggin' it. The salt and pepper hair is sophisticated looking...kinda like The Most Interesting Man In The World.

Anonymous said...

Anyone notice that the boat race was won by non-recumbent power.

Freddy Murcks said...

Yesterday, here in Utah, a state court judge was hit and killed by an inattentive driver while riding his bike. Apparently the driver was distracted by the fall foliage and he swerved out of his lane, crossed the opposite lane, and hit the judge who was riding on the opposite shoulder. While it seems to be pretty cut and dry to me, the police and the DA's office are saying it is going to take weeks to decide on charges. At least they aren't resorting to the old NYC favorite of "no criminality suspected," so I guess that's an improvement.

http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/57043080-78/quinn-charges-accident-canyon.html.csp

Sincerely,
Freddy

esidesb 141

babble on said...

R.I.P.

Sigh. There but for the grace of God....

BamaPhred said...

I don't normally give podium kisses, but when I do, it's Ms Babble. Muah Muah

There were semi nudes in the first picture? Couldn't tell too much blue pulling my "focus"

USA! USA!

Here the e-fox would just piss off the diesel SuperDuty driving crowd. An orange one would make an excellent target. Definitely safer on a bike. And that is saying something.

And there are no winners on folding bikes. Just suck it up dudes, or just suck it. Whatever.

A generally awesome post.

And finally, (aren't you glad) AYCHSMB. (All You Cards Haters...

paulb said...

It took just 40 years of watching British tv, but now I know a badly faked Yorkshire accent when I hear it.

Anonymous said...

I have to get a pair of those Gatorade bike shorts.

Anonymous said...

Bourbon

leroy said...

My dog says you should hear Fritz's karaoke version of the theme from that "Team America" movie.

Inspiring.

Ride safe all!

(Tour de Bronx this weekend. My dog got me a discount on the registration fee for marshals. But I had to give him cash.)

Kate Winslut said...

Draw me like one of your French sluts.......

JB said...

Hydro-foil riders wearing bike helments. LOL. Typical boater.

babble on said...

Does the Fun Quiz's SL stand for Super Lite?

Thank you for not burdening those of us with broken brains this week. Very kind.

JB said...

Just waiting on the Budnitz fat bike before pulling the trigger.

Also, kissing your behind for the podio, Babs.

babble on said...

OMG NOOOOOOOO!! Goofer lost his bike to Creepo the super thief.

None of you smarter-than-your-average-cyclists learned today that there's a right chain and a wrong chain for any job.

33 weallyu

Weally. It's twue.

babble on said...

Ooooh! Why you naughty JB! Thank you. :)

Test Tickle said...

The cabbie actually had a valid point...

Anonymous said...

babble,

You should totally get a gravel bike, lose the grom for the weekend, and take a ferry down to Orcas Island so we can work out our aggressions.
Bike ride around the island.
Climb mt constitution
chest beating, indian noises and wild monkey sex on top of lookout tower.
Naked hot springs at doe bay
Organic, fresh caught salmon.

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwHWbsvgQUE

Anonymous said...

If BLUE pulls your focus Delia, then why did you almost get hit by the a blue bike?

Fritz said...

This E-Fox fuckatard must have copied peoples test answers and wrote
their name at the top of his paper
Organic Tranist had the same idea a year ago and raised 100 G's on kickstarter for their ELF

Where on the planet does the ELF belong..you tell me?

Fritz said...

Organic Tranist Elf Website

Mr Nofish said...

Whoa, the youtube red light sheriff actually comes off as a total goody two shoes prick, check his comments on the video for more.

Snobbie you should have posted this video about the eFox: shows her unlocking the thing from a damn tree, then uncomfortably squeeze herself into it, to finally ride off on a sidewalk.

The description is also worth it: "my wife on her morning 5+ mile commute to work on the e-fox. On the way home, she can mostly pedal and get a great workout. Using the e-fox instead of her van only adds about 10 minutes to her commute each way."

I could probably walk 5 miles in less time than it takes to get that thing going and then parking it.

Thanks for the dog, by the way.

McFly said...

I used to keep my Lortabs in some Reynolds Wrap. I guess that's a hydrofoil of sorts. Nice work Babble. Sending you an Ekiss.....as long as you don't have peckerbreath.

Epic 18 miles of LBL MTB planned tomorrow...I told my 2 compatriots it's only 12 or 13. Becuase they are whiny pussies.

McFly said...

And hey Frilly! Been awhile. How bout them Cards? They gonna get things "tweaked" in? Maybe they can squeeze it out.

leroy said...

Freddy Murcks --

When a judge is run over in New York, the DA file charges.

... If the judge has a famous relative

... But only for leaving the scene, not the actual homicide

... And the jury still acquits.

Judge Dershowitz

America, F*ck Yeah. (Sigh.)

Ride safe all!

And judge not, lest ye yourself be run over.

leroy said...

On a happier note, my dog asked me to post:

Congrats Babs!

Congrats Babs!

Don't worry about the double vision. He said to say congrats twice.

ge said...

I wanted to read this earlier, but THE MAN WAS KEEPING ME DOWN! Caught up on all 48 videos and ready to head out on the Brompton, oh let me douche it up - BRoMPToN, and jump some lights. WOO-HOO! (not the 46MPH version).

teed said...

DFL - too much chain dust.

Frilly Chick said...

MikeWeb--don't be hating on Cardinal Nation.

And Cipo, what about what I want? Don't be selfish mi amore.

Mr KillJoy said...

Even when they are riding stupid little orange contraptions, bloody cyclists still just go straight through stop signs.

Dale said...

Wow! Way to go Babble! Good work on the podium!

Cipo said...

Money shooting on 36D's...........

babble on said...

Thanks.
Shucks. Well, you know how it is. I live in Vancouver: it's all in the dope... :)

Mammal Hammer said...

Am I the only one around here that thinks Sunday Night Pussy is the best way to end a weekend/start a week?

mikeweb said...

RIP Lou Reed.

He said what needed to be said.

BamaPhred said...

^
Yes, RIP Lou Reed

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side