Friday, October 4, 2013

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

I'm a Satanist, and I have a lot to do.  For example, I have to read various incantations from my Recipe Book of Evil with the pages made from human flesh and the cover made from kitty fur so that the maiming cabbie who just got his license back (I mean holy fucking shit, right?) drives off a bridge and into the East River.  (Without a fare in his cab, of course, unless the passenger is similarly deserving.)

This is a lot to do in itself, since there's always that last-minute trip to the pet store for that unexpected animal sacrifice, and on top of that I have this thing to do at my kid's nursery school (it's Happy Fun Critter Day, and I'm sure I'll have to go back to the pet store yet again after I sacrifice all the bunnies), so as you can see this is shaping up to be a very full day.

On top of all that, according to my research assistant the last quiz I proctored ("proctor" is a portmanteau of "prick" and "doctor," so please call me "Dr. Prick") was nearly a month ago, which is far too long, because people's minds get dull and they become complacent unless they're constantly subjected to testing.  And that's still more work for me, especially since I have to make sure the quizzes aren't culturally biased, and I had to re-do this one after reading it over and realizing that nearly every question was about kugel.

So let's get right into it.

I'm pleased to present you with a kugel quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on the answer.  If you're right then celebrate by slathering your naked body in kugel, and if you're wrong you'll see this culturally biased video about the merits of bike lights.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and Hail Satan.


--Dr. Prick





1) The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has issued an advisory against using cycle paths, bike lanes, and signed bike routes during the government shutdown.

--True
--False





2) What is this Canadian doing?

--Waiting for the bus
--Waiting to receive the automated roadside prostate exam that is the centerpiece of his country's universal healthcare program
--Attempting to foil Toronto mayors and suppervillains Robs Fords' latest robot, the "Unbikelaneifier 9000," with the power of his crotch
--Invisible tobogganing






3) These riders in Calcutta are protesting:

--The city's ban on cycling
--The city's new helment law
--Mandatory bicycle licensing and registration
--Their disappointing ranking of 26,741st in Bicycling's most recent list of bike-friendly cities






4) This guy just got:

--"Whapped"
--"Thwacked"
--"Fwapped"
--"Shenkermanned"





5) What is this?

--A tour group enjoying an "authentic North Brooklyn bike experience"
--A grassroots movement to reclaim America's sidewalks for cyclists
--Mandatory participants in New York City's new "Cyclist Re-Education Program"
--A typical Cat 6 paceline





6) This plywood bike:

--Is inspired by cafĂ© racer motorcycles somehow
--Is another in a series of design failures that "is still a bit to flexy for mass consumption" [sic]
--Made by a company that rhymes with "Doofus"
--All of the above





(Assos engineered the "KuKu Pentouse" after receiving frequent complaints about male camel toe.)

7) Assos is introducing a women's version of the "KuKu Penthouse" called the "Hoo-Hoo Suite."

--True
--False


***Special "Art Is Truth"-Themed Bonus Question***


(BKJimmy)

--True
--False

91 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hello

incessantlycommentingregular said...

WORD

McFly said...

$$$$$$$$$

McFly said...

I would like to dedicate my pode to the awesome Amy Dombrowski.

Anonymous said...

McFly: a good start would be to spell her name right..

Yeah Cleveland! said...

Tep ton indeed!

dana said...

Seven

wishiwasmerckx said...

West coast top ten on a very early post.

Yeah Cleveland! said...

Left coasters are obviously still snoozing and have yet to do the "undock of shame."

wishiwasmerckx said...

Saw Amy Dombroski ride well at CrossVegas during Interbike a few weeks ago. My heart goes out to her friends and family.

McFly said...

My arch nymisis use to be the arithmetic butt now its evolving to speling. I thought it was the thought that "counted" but then that circles back to math so I am screwed.

BamaPhred said...

Holy Cow! Froot Loops eaten, sweatpants pulled up over underpants, quiz proctored, and out the door to do Nature Day and animal sacrifice. I need some of whatever Dr. Prick is runnin' on today.

incessantlycommentingregular said...

Sorry. I rarely, if ever, think before I post, never-mind check spelling. It's just that I'm in such a hurry to get a pode, or converse with one of my cohort. This is critically important!

BamaPhred said...

And the thought does counts. I had to go look up the news article to see how her name was spelled. I bet there won't be a "no criminality suspected"

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Well at least its Friday.

Scranus.

JB said...

Wakey wakey, eggs and bac'y!

Marcel Da Chump said...

Kugel in the kuku penthouse.

Buffalo Bill said...

Hail satan!

mikeweb said...

So early!

Yes, RIP Amy D. Too, too soon...

Anonymous said...

7 out of 8 right woo hoo

RoadQueen said...

What the hell???

Congrats on the 3rd podio spot, McFly! XO

ISR, contracts on being the first loser!

Anon takes the prize!

Now, on the read the blog...

RoadQueen said...

Believe it or not, I got the first question wrong.

Guess because I haven't been paying a whole lot of attention to what the douche bags in DC are doing/not doing.

Meh. Friday, oh how I've longed for you...is it 5:00 yet??

Anonymous said...

I believe it. I definitely believe it.

DB said...

Wow. Early post. Barely had time to finish the coffee with weed foam.

RoadQueen said...

Anon @ 10:01

XO sunshine.

Anonymous said...

Love your blog!

McFly said...

The kisses are nice but hugs with boobie crushiness hold a special place in my.....heart.

RoadQueen said...

McFly, I agree. Hugs are awesome. Especially great big bear hugs where you get squeezed super tight.

I love hugs. I think I need a hug.

JB said...

Hey, I have my first Fred ride on Sunday. Saturday morning no-drop shop rides don't count, do they? It's a charity ride and with it came my first real bikecycling jersey! I plan to draft all day and then blow past my wife in the final sprint. She'll be on a '90 Giant mountaining cycle with slicks. I don't think she can keep up when I get in the drops on my couple-years-newer steel Fuji. Plus, she won't know that we're racing.

If I can't wear a camelback, where am I supposed to stow 2/4 tubes, a pump, food, etc?


McFly bonus: if you like your babes not completely shaven.

Mike in Dallas said...

luvmastertx is a fellow Texan! Hooray! Now I'm confirmed to not be the only bike light nerd in Texas!

babble on said...

Camelman looks very uncomfortable. Wow, thanks for all the crotches, Dr Prick. Oh, and thank you for portmanteau, too. Nice.

Well well well... would you lookey what we have here?

29 lickyv

How appropos.

babble on said...

Nice dedication, McFly. RIP, sister.

McFly said...

JB, make her carry them to weigh her down more. Me and hunny bunny are doing a Dewathlawn tomorrow. She will run 5k then I cycle 30k then she runs 5 more k's. There is some hills with one affectionately known as THE BEAST. Good luck with the sprint finish. I got 2nd Tueday in the Simulated Road Championship of West Tenn and was happy with it but still called him a Sorry MOFO as he launched and I popped.

babble on said...

Hugs, Queenie and McFly... OO

babble on said...

OOOOOOH, extra podios. OO
Congratulations!

RoadQueen said...

Thanks, Babble. :') {(Hugs)} to you, too.

XO

P.S. Why is it that I can type 50wpm, yet I consistently fuck up the bot detector? Even when I go slooooow.

554 hicsAf <--- talk about apropos.

Anonymous said...

Ugh, make it stop, please.

babble on said...

Ok.

It's just good to get yer lovin in soon as you can in the day is all. Why do you think those guys are racing for the podium in the first place?

But you're right. Let's be serious for a minute. You're such a noob, snob. It's Thelema to those in the know.

Bout time you figured out who the real ruler is in yer neck of the woods, too.

Yes. Let's DO talk about how that fucker got his license back, shall we? And I still want to know how all of the agents and their armoured vehicles involved in yesterday's shoot-to-kill-in-front-of-a-baby couldn't manage to contain one single car without using lethal force.

ChamoisJuice said...

What a shame, that Sian Green broad is a fine piece of ass. At least the accident didn't maim her snatch.

ChamoisJuice said...

^^^^Not the real CJ. For one, I think that joke is in extremely poor taste. If I were to make that joke, which I wouldn't, I would throw something about the snatch being sideways.

I do, with all sincerity, think that the hotdog is really what makes that story so heart wrenching.

P. Bateman said...

good heavens. i followed the first link of the story to the catch up on Snobber's new Satan worship as i missed that and was just absolutely horrified by the video of that poor girl being mowed down by a fucktwat.

seriously terrifying and just maddening as hell to keep coming to this Snobblog and reading every week about the ass backwards way the law treats these "accidents"

keep the government shut down. hell, i'm for starting from scratch at this point.

i'm surprised that lady in DC was shot for trying to mow everyone down yesterday because apparently in most places its just fine and dandy.

anyone want to pitch in and buy some island with no car access? we can have sand specific fat tired fixed gears and ride to our nightly beach orgy. i got $50 on it.

Anonymous said...

Snob,I just got the latest issue of "Brooks Bugle" newsletter. Theres a pitcher of yous on page 2 along with Murray the chamfertoolguy!
Wasn't that like a year ago?

Yes, It's Good said...

Road Queen, Yesterday: "...and dude straddles..." Yes, it's a good one. Have been in the vertical position of that duet many times. And if your horizontal partner and swallow, all the better. Plus, the ejaculation goes straight down the hatch, no 90 degree turn required.

Fritz said...

Hail Bike Light Rapper

I have seen the LIGHT

HALY LUYA

leroy said...

Well this is embarrassing.

My dog was on the internet and I thought he said "Hoo Hoo Suh-weet."

Didn't realize he was taking a quiz.

I owe him an apology.

Ride safe all!

babble on said...

master bateman, you missed RQ's memo on the island, too... we should do this thing together... strength in numbers, and gene pool diversity 'n all that.

the way I figure it is now they will have to admit that a car is indeed a lethal weapon. Since they were required to respond with lethal force.

balls™ said...

Wait, did he say the rabbit died? Is he trying to tell us there's another little snob on the way? (as if 17 wasn't enough)


3357 nibitte

Anonymous said...

A male camel toe, technically, is known as a moose knuckle.

RoadQueen said...

Yeah, sorry P.Bateman. I already have plans for the island and no cars thing.

Fat tire bikes for sand travels, Paved bike paths to Fred out, and no cars.

If you want to get to the mainland, you're gonna have to peddle a pontoon bikecycle.

Mr Plow said...

Why are white people so bad at rapping?

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I'm with you Anon 11:55, just roll with it...these things go in cycles, the cynics, the sarcastic bastards, and the wise asses will reclaim this page when the time is right.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, I needed to hear that. You give me hope.

Comment deleted said...

A conspiracy of the "silent majority" anons gathers. Wait, is there any chance that this is a chain made of one poster and his imaginary-friend sock puppets? An auto-circle-jerk? Onan with a multiple personality disorder, if you will?

Anonymous said...

Possibly because I am totally down with some head dangling over the bedside throat fucking. Well hell your right there might as well get my balls suckled, too.

incessantlycommentingminority said...

We've got this shit on lockdown!

grog said...

Somedays you're an ostrich.
Somedays you're an ass.
DR.P RICK
FUNK WIZZ
RIDE NICE
MORE BABE

JLRB said...

Yes, we here in the shadow of the granite phallic are feeling mighty ungoverned (and traffic is much better)

Anonymous said...

After perusing the personal blogs of some of the more frequent commenters, it saddens me that they feel the need to infest this one too.

Comment deleted said...

Anon @ 3:40: I've never seen somebody give themselves a reach-around before. Fascinating!

Anonymous said...

Yeah! That's a good one! But seriously, have you seen their blogs?

Anonymous said...

That island w/o cars- Its called Mackinac Island.

It sounds good in principle, but actually kind of boring.

Have a nice weekend.

RoadQueen said...

(Ok, I'll bite. I'm bored.)

OOH, OOH! What did you think of MINE?!

Aaaaaand: GO!

BamaPhred said...

@ babble 12:22. You're right. Bike blog I know, but the cops shooting that woman in DC was just plain wrong. Everyday on "COPS" tv drama they show videos of them doing the old P.I.T. maneuver, boxing drivers in, spike strips, etc. I could rant on and on and on, but I will spare everyone. Everyone have a great weekend, ours may be a little wet.

McFly said...

Bite? I've heard enough I am going for a TRY NOT TO GET KILLED ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON RIDE.

RoadQueen said...

Be safe, McFly. Have a great weekend everybody!

Roille Figners said...

Don't you SEEEEE?? It's the CAPITAL, which is MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than everywhere else, and has "heightened security" and the cops there have to be extra vigilant, due to the VERY IMPORTANT GOVERNMENT that used to do business there.

Obligatory Govt. Shutdown Commentary: Like these assholes needed to supply us any more proof they're incompetent at running the government? Or that they could all vanish and nobody would care or even be able to tell the difference?

Last time they pulled this stunt to get attention, nobody cared either. This time, Lady With Supposed Mental Problems actually gives them some attention, and they shoot her. MAKE UP YOUR MINDS!

Roille Figners said...

Now is a good time to service your chain and drivetrain.

JLRB said...

While I puke in the general direction of the Capital on a regular basis, this latest stunt is one that could mess us up if they don't quit acting like brats. Well at least that is what many publications are saying (with apologies for my HTML ineptitude)

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-10-01/shutdown-would-cost-u-s-economy-300-million-a-day-ihs-says.html

http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/long-debate-over-debt-ceiling-could-harm-economy-reports-says/2013/10/03/992c482e-2c35-11e3-b139-029811dbb57f_story.html

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2013/10/7-ways-the-shutdown-affects-the-economy.html



babble on said...

Last week there was enough cash lying around to invade Syria. This week the shutters are drawn.

Anonymous said...

http://www.w3schools.com/html/html_links.asp

Just copy & paste the stuff in the box under HTML LINK SYNTAX.

Google "html link" = 1st result

Anonymous said...

Snob, have you been riding after dark on the OCA? I shouldn't have told you about Untermeyer.

Now you're getting sucked in. And once you start getting sucked, it's so hard to stop...

Dooth said...

Dr. Prick...paging Dr. Prick.
I'm due for a prostate exam.
Get that finger ready.

Anonymous said...

Dooth, his name is Dr. Prick not Dr. Finger. You get what you get for your exam.

McFly said...

WOOOHOOOO KID FREE TONIGHT! Someone explain to me how the inverted head dangle dealio works....it's all fun and games til someone loses an eye.

Dooth said...

Now that you mention it... a woman I love (and hate) once got emergency dental care from a Dr. Finger at his office in the Empire State Building. Hmmm...coincidence?
Anyway, Dr. Prick, our onomatopoeic physician, sounds like a urologist to me, but then again I have tinnitus.

Dave said...

I asked my friend who works in State and commutes via the Capitol Crescent trail if the feds were actually going to spend more money to shut down the trails than they usually spend ignoring them, and he replied that "They pretend to shut them down, with some little signs, and we pretend to obey, and ride anyway."

Which is a little like the police; they pretend to serve and protect, while apparently having no training whatsoever in non-lethal restraint, and we pretend that they're telling the truth when they swear they saw the panicky Down's syndrome kid in the movie theater "reaching for a weapon" and had no choice but to kill the poor boob.

And so it goes.

Anonymous said...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=face%20fuck

I believe she is describing definition 2.

McFly said...

Ok we did a 15 mile TRAINING RIDE for our dewathlawn. Which consisted of us riding a back road talking about how bad we suck and how we are getting old. Then we watched some Paula Zahn. Dear Lob every time I see that woman I just want to smell her hair. Is that weird. Probably. I bet she knows definition 2.

ZAHN SNIF

Anonymous said...

Yes i think 'boring island' is the right name. It shouldn't have internet access either. Please.

babble on said...

Um, hello? Internet access rocks. We wouldn't be here otherwise.

McFly said...

We won so suck it anon.

Anonymous said...

He he good one!

ken e. said...

mel brooks has some good things to say about tragedy and comedy. i'd just offer sometimes life is, in fact, tough. ride safe little monkeys.

Anonymous said...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=moose%20knuckle

Dennis Hopper said...

holy shit I have never laughed so hard from a single image

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McFly said...

Dave Z has given up the silly Pro Cykleen merri-go-round to try his hand at some poetry

Freddy Murcks said...

The answer to #5 is incorrect. I believe that it is in fact a photo of a Cat6 paceline taken at last tuesdays office park crit ("Tuesday Night Worlds" or "TNW" for short). The Cat6 class at TNW is pretty fierce, as you can plainly discern from the photo.

ntcroe 145

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Jensen said...

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