This is a lot to do in itself, since there's always that last-minute trip to the pet store for that unexpected animal sacrifice, and on top of that I have this thing to do at my kid's nursery school (it's Happy Fun Critter Day, and I'm sure I'll have to go back to the pet store yet again after I sacrifice all the bunnies), so as you can see this is shaping up to be a very full day.
On top of all that, according to my research assistant the last quiz I proctored ("proctor" is a portmanteau of "prick" and "doctor," so please call me "Dr. Prick") was nearly a month ago, which is far too long, because people's minds get dull and they become complacent unless they're constantly subjected to testing. And that's still more work for me, especially since I have to make sure the quizzes aren't culturally biased, and I had to re-do this one after reading it over and realizing that nearly every question was about kugel.
So let's get right into it.
I'm pleased to present you with a
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and Hail Satan.
1) The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has issued an advisory against using cycle paths, bike lanes, and signed bike routes during the government shutdown.
2) What is this Canadian doing?
--Waiting for the bus
--Waiting to receive the automated roadside prostate exam that is the centerpiece of his country's universal healthcare program
--Attempting to foil Toronto mayors and suppervillains Robs Fords' latest robot, the "Unbikelaneifier 9000," with the power of his crotch
3) These riders in Calcutta are protesting:
--The city's ban on cycling
--The city's new helment law
--Mandatory bicycle licensing and registration
--Their disappointing ranking of 26,741st in Bicycling's most recent list of bike-friendly cities
4) This guy just got:
5) What is this?
--A tour group enjoying an "authentic North Brooklyn bike experience"
--A grassroots movement to reclaim America's sidewalks for cyclists
--Mandatory participants in New York City's new "Cyclist Re-Education Program"
--A typical Cat 6 paceline
6) This plywood bike:
--Is inspired by café racer motorcycles somehow
--Is another in a series of design failures that "is still a bit to flexy for mass consumption" [sic]
--Made by a company that rhymes with "Doofus"
--All of the above
(Assos engineered the "KuKu Pentouse" after receiving frequent complaints about male camel toe.)
7) Assos is introducing a women's version of the "KuKu Penthouse" called the "Hoo-Hoo Suite."
***Special "Art Is Truth"-Themed Bonus Question***