Tuesday, July 23, 2013

2014 Tour de France Predictions, In-Depth Reviews Of Overpriced Crabon Bicycles, and Satanic Death Cults!

Yesterday I posted this picture:


Which prompted a commenter to point out the following:

Anonymous said...

Snob, you DO know that David Berkowitz and his merry band of devil-worshipping misfits got the ball rolling early on with late night dog mutilation parties held RIGHT THERE where you took that snapshot in Untermeyer Park?

JULY 22, 2013 AT 6:42 PM 

Well, actually, no, I didn't know that.  Furthermore, I wish I still didn't because now I'm totally creeped out.  Thanks for like totally ruining this ride for me forever.

Anyway, naturally after reading that I spent a bunch of time searching the Internet for more information about the Son of Sam killings (inasmuch as I was like three years old at the time I only know the broad strokes, though my youth did rule me out as suspect) and the aforementioned park and found stuff like this:

But when the coven moved to the darkened ruins of a mansion in Yonkers' Untermyer Park, Berkowitz says, he began to realize what he had gotten himself into.

"It was pitch black and the guy who took us there seemed to know where to go, further down these winding paths," Berkowitz remembers. "There, I was introduced to some more people. . . . We would have our chants and our rituals and I did begin to witness some animal sacrifices."

He remembers finding the rituals "a little weird." But, he says, "I was fascinated."

After months of demonic prayer, animal sacrifices and participation in several ritual arsons in Yonkers and the Bronx, Berkowitz was formally initiated into the cult.

And this:

Former employees of nearby St John’s Hospital can still recall nights when chanting and torch flames were seen and heard in the depths of the woods, especially from the area of the now-demolished Devil’s Cave. There are those who maintain that harmless teenagers were the only ones frequenting the backwoods at night during the Seventies, but that belief flies in the face of some disturbing facts. Over Christmas 1976, dead Alsatian dogs, with their ears carefully excised, were found on the Aqueduct just south of Untermyer Park. In November 1979, a Westchester County Police Officer stumbled upon a sinister night-time gathering in the Lenoir Nature Preserve: a group of robed and hooded figures carrying torches and leading two leashed Alsatians.

Fuck it, I'm moving to Portland.

Actually, I'm sure they do all kinds of creepy supernatural ritual cult stuff in Portland too, because wherever you have inordinate amounts of white people who resent their parents you can be sure to find cults.  In fact, one could argue pretty easily that all of Portland is a cult--though due to the preponderance of veganism animal sacrifices are probably pretty rare there, and you're more likely to find a bunch of hooded figures gathering at midnight in Forest Park in order to slit the throat of a tofurkey, after which they probably dance around the Hairy Vagina Ball:


(Artisanal gynocentric paganism.)

As for my own past, besides listening to Slayer records I never came into direct contact with any actual animal sacrificing Satan worshippers, and the indeed the only cult behavior my peers engaged in was a twisted occult ritual called a "Bar Mitzvah."


(Mäzel Töv.)

Speaking of blood cults, apparently pro cyclists were removing their blood, shining a black light on it, and then putting it back in again in order to go faster:


The German National Anti Doping Agency had opened proceedings against an unnamed cyclist, charging that the treatments were blood doping. The German sports court ruled last fall that the method of removing blood, treating it with ultraviolet light and then re-infusing it, did not violate rules in effect at the time, as it has been specifically banned only since January, 2012. The NADA took that decision to the CAS.

I'm assuming the procedure was performed on a bean bag in a basement with wood paneling to the strains of "Don't Fear The Reaper" by the Blue Öyster Cult.

Anyway, as the article points out, the riders in question will not be punished because apparently this was not considered blood doping at the time, and it makes you wonder what other sort of not-yet-illegal methods the pros are using now.  In fact, I Tweeted words to that effect, and someone replied with this:

They offered no evidence to back that up, but then someone else came in with this:
I have no idea what any of this means or if it even matters, but I did use the Internet to look up ketone and evidently it's endorsed by the Fox News Channel and it comes in raspberry:


I give it two weeks before all the Freds on your local group ride smell like raspberry.

By the way, whatever these guys are on, it's a pretty sure sign of doping when your hair turns green:


You know what also improves performance?  Proper tire pressure.  And to that end, I've learned from some people in (oy) Portland that they've created an app that determines your proper tire pressure for you:


The Bicycle Tire Pressure Calculator is used to compute the optimal air pressure for your bicycle tires. Tires pumped too hard bounce down the road like a basketball, wasting energy. Tires pumped not hard enough are sluggish and prone to pinch flats. Tires pumped just right are at the optimal intersection of responsiveness, shock absorption, and energy efficiency.

Popular misconception is to pump a bike's tires to the highest number printed on the sidewall by the manufacturer. Instead, the optimal pressure is that which yields in a 15% sidewall drop. Sidewall drop is a non-linear function of the load on the tire and its width. It can be computed based on the weight of the bike, rider, bags, and gear. It is also different between front and back, depending on the frame geometry.

With this App, you can instantly compute the optimal tire pressure from your phone or tablet wherever you may be: in your garage, on the road, at a friend's house.

In fact, they offered to let me try it, but I don't have the right kind of smarting phone.  (Or they designed it for the wrong kind of smarting phone, depending on how you look at it.)  Furthermore, even if I did have a compatible smarting phone, I'm not sure I'd try it anyway, because I have a pretty reliable tire inflation app already:


(Not my hand, just a hand, but you get the point.)

Here's how it works.  First, I inflate my tire.  Then I take my hand app, squeeze the tire, and, using complex mental calculus determine if the air pressure is appropriate.  It's actually pretty easy, and if you're the sort of person who needs an app to figure out what air pressure to use in your tire then maybe you should also seek out an app that will help you find a new form of transportation, such as a skateboard of a pair of Rollerblades or some other means of conveyance with non-pneumatic tires.

By the way, another advantage my tire inflation app has over this other one is versatility, since in addition to determining proper tire pressure I can also use my app for wanking and nose picking.

So suck on that, Portland.

141 comments:

Anonymous said...

Woohoo! I haven't read it yet!

McFly said...

Podio

Comment deleted said...

Hand job.

Josh Buehner said...

podium!

Blog Drafter said...

Finger App!!

Anonymous said...

Podium!

Synonymous said...

Sweet. Top ten.

Paul Bowen said...

Hullo chums!

streepo said...

scranus

Anonymous said...

hairy vag ball

rural 14 said...

Rural 1st
and top summat!!

Totally creeped out by Son oF Sam when it was happening. THose were NOT the good old days in Brooklyn. Give me the new BrooklynPortlandSmugfest any time. Though it is aggravating when the "I'm from Brooklyn" come to my rural swamp, and condescend all over us.

Examples -
"what a cute __________county outfit you have on"
"don't you know how special it is here?"
and my personal favorite -

"get out of my way, I'm on vacation" (attitude not verbatim".

To which I can only say, 'scranus'

Anonymous said...

Rasberry Keytone chick is pretty hot.

Snobs, we'd rather not hear about you squeezing your tube.

The Ghost Of Samuel Untermyer said...

GET OFF MY LAWN YOU KIDS!!!

ken e. said...

present!

McFly said...

Cialis extends the duration of maximal efforts. You could drug test me for it but I am not in a condition to urinate at this present juncture.

Buffalo Bill said...

I was considering contesting the sprint today, but my tire pressure was too low. Can you give me a hand?

Anonymous said...

Hey, I pointed that out!

Second time my comment made the headline. First was about JSK, now SoS! See the connection?

80's metal bands often shot group photos there.

RoadQueen said...

Top Twenty? Dafuk...

3070 ShipHot

I think the bot cops are trying to give me a much needed pick-me-up today.

sheep said...

They're not all bad

http://youtu.be/4ydIjzAQIGA

Comment deleted said...

I've been taking pints of my blood, adding some sauteed garlic, scallions, and just a touch of Cialis, and re-infusing.

Let me tell you, there ain't a "hill" I can't climb.

I love a TDF parade said...

I'm waiting for the TDF to tap the next big TV market...
I think with the right "training program" Putin could be the next Froome/Lance/Indurain!
Goodness knows that new Russian citizen Gerard Depardieu could use the Aicar leftovers....

Marcel Da Chump said...

Son of tofurkey

Anonymous said...

I'm with you Snob on this App stuff. Anybody who needs the "Tire Pressure App", should also look into the "Effective Ass Wiping App" as well, because they probably need help in that area also.

Mr Plow said...

SONO FSAM

From Scandinavia, with (scranus) love said...

I personally use my scranus to adjust the tire pressure but not by the squeezing the tire though. Some days my scranus likes it hard and I pump up. When it's still hurting from the night before I release some.

You should try.

Butt plug app said...

Never mind.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Where's the In-Depth crabon bikecycle review?

Anonymous said...

I actually think any sort of "training" as doping.

I think prior to the TdF all entrants must flip bugers for a month and eat Ben and Jerry Cherry Garcia ice cream.

RoadQueen said...

OH, and Congratulations to McFly and CD!

XO

(Sorry Anon...I just can't seem to give out congrats to a faceless, nameless entity, ya know? No hard feelings. It's not you, it's me.)

Roille Figners said...

HERP DERP

Freddy Murcks said...

When I read yesterday's comments, I thought Anon said "Dorthy Rabinowitz and her merry band of devil-worshipping misfits got the ball rolling early on with late night Tibetan Terrier parties held RIGHT THERE where you took that snapshot in Untermeyer Park."

More amusing perhaps, but definitely no less creepy.

41 raoInter

crosspalms said...

I use a right-handed version of that tire app.

DB said...

Our friend Lance A is doing Ragbrai this year and is posting his Strava results.
What a maroon.
Ragbrai is about Bloody Mary's, butterfly pork chops and ladies in Lycra.

ChamoisJuice said...

FUCK WORK

babble on said...

Shake hands with Mr Happy!

I prefer my tubes a little harder than prescribed...

RoadQueen said...

I can't believe it, but I'm agreeing with CJ again.

FUCK WORK

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

For some strange reason I read the comments of the black light blood article at cyclingnews. I like ridleyrider's comment. I think he sums it up well and hope doesn't mind me reposting. And he said "conspiracy theory"

"We simply will not catch most dopers anymore. 15 years ago, the big hitters of EPO and HGH were prevalent in the peloton because they could not be detected. What did we see happen? Everyone was on EPO. Now that it is known how to detect it, we will only see the desperate riders on a lower budget using it.

Now, there are so many products out there that are only in testing that it simply is not possible to develop testing protocols for them - on top of that, since they are not on WADA's list, it is not technically doping. Riders can claim to be riding clean and by the letter of the law, they are right. What will we see happen now? Widespread doping of various degrees with the best connected teams getting the best stuff. Drug companies get their guinea pigs and millions are made from riders using the drugs. Riders may not even know if they are doping - making it impossible for them to tell anyone. It also makes them believable when they proclaim they are riding clean because they believe it.

Granted, all this is conspiracy theory. I do, however believe that it is largely correct but there is a darker side to it all that I cannot even begin to fathom. My belief is that riders in the short term will have big results, followed by a steep decline as the drugs take an unpredictable toll on their bodies."

It's a shame the cheaters gotta cheat and I wish it wasn't so but as I've said before I just watch it it for the castle porn.

babble on said...

Mmm raspberries...

So Keytones are the thing your body produces when you stop consuming carbs. It's the reason you can eat billions of calories on the Atkins diet and still lose weight. But I don't get it. How does THAT improve your athletic performance?

Anonymous said...

maybe I'm completely out of touch but it seems strange that the app discussed above lists the possible wheel sizes as 700c, 26" and 650b. I find it hard to believe that 650b wheels are even nearly as common as 27"... Maybe their logic is that if a 27" wheel has successfully been ridden for the last 30 years, it's doubtful they need this ridiculous app. oh well

McFly said...

My non-cycling buddy said they should have an Open Unlimited Outlaw Class (anything goes) in cycling like in Dirt track racing where there is no title on the line, just money. Sounds kind of neat.

Etherhffer said...

Basement: check
Wood Panelling: check
Blue Oyster Cult: check
Blood removal: "I've opened up my veins too many times, now the poison's in my heart and in my mind"

CommieCanuck said...

True story...
after a lengthy discussion at a clinical meeting, the docs asked me how the hell I knew so much about hematology, I just said, "I follow bike racing".

"ohhh."

Ok Snob, you have a app that can tell tire pressure and wank, the two most important thing to a cyclist, but can it make fart noises? No sir. For that, you need a $600 smurt phone.

crosspalms said...

Snob, any plans to visit the new Shinola bike store in NY? And I'd love to know what Grant Petersen thinks of a bike shop that also sells watches and pencils (and baseballs). No mention of hatchets...

CommieCanuck said...

Nice to see Fox Nuws endorsing something that could lead to ketonuria, a disease that causes brain damage. Then again, with Fox news viewers, what have they got to lose?

I know so much about ketonuria because I follow bike racing.

I know so much about cunts because I follow Bradley Wiggins.

CommieCanuck said...

"What I saw were not one, not two, but three mayonnaise enemas," said Fringe Festival reviewer Michelle Palansky, who was in the audience Friday night.

"By the third time...I was like, you know, this is gratuitous. I do not need to see any more mayonnaise enemas for the rest of my lifetime."


Canadians are pretty fucked up, but if this made you go faster, Lance would do it.

Roille Figners said...

Forget Berzerkowitz - What I want to know is, what feral rock band was that, G. D. it!

Roille Figners said...

Jeebus, my captcha this time was

nasingi *picture of white shag carpeting with a line down the middle that could, if you were feeling imaginative, interpret as a "1," or you could just type "fart" like I did since it ignores the numeric part*

Comment deleted said...

Yeah, I think I'm going to scratch "seeing a mayonnaise enema" off my bucket list, Commie.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to open a new bike/watch store right next door to Shinola, decorate it exactly the same, and call it Shit. Then stand outside and tell everybody "You don't know Shit from Shinola."

CommieCanuck said...

The first two mayonnaise enemas were ART, but the third time, well, that was gratuitous.

They got a taxpayer grant for this.

CommieCanuck said...

Seriously, could you imagine going on a date to watch this, then dinner afterwards?
"uh..pass the mayonnaise. Not for dinner...for later."

wishiwasmerckx said...

Not to point fingers without justification, but does it seem odd to anybody else that the top researcher on ketones and blood oxygenation is named Dr. Froomes?

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12592102

Just sayin...

Comment deleted said...

What do you get when you cross a Godfather with a performance artist?

Someone who makes you an offer you can't understand.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

my friend's yahoo mail was hacked and i got an email link to ketone raspberry.

naturally i ordered a big quantity right away. my commute is now 15min instead of 35min. woo hooo hoooo!

Big-moustached 70s porno star said...

Did somebody say black light and B.O.C.?

leroy said...

Well now this is odd.

My dog told me any rides around Yonkers have to be no drop rides.

Wonder what that's about.

Yarpo said...

"Artisinal gynocentric paganism"...Platinum, Snob, Platinum!

Is this the long-awaited photo of the legendary Ur-Disembodied Hand? Master of All Disembodied Hands? Will it cause even (Zod) to kneel?

An app for bicycle tire pressure. Horseshit!

Congrats Anon 11:59am, McFly, and Comment deleted.
See, RoadQueen, its easy.

squivin 5...the newest undetectable Fred drug with the patented Scranus Applicator. Shhhhh, don't tell anyone.

crosspalms said...

Commie,
Was it artisanal mayo?

Anonymous said...

Maybe I don't need an app, but if this info is right, I have been riding with too much pressure in my front tire for the 36 years I have been a serious cyclist. So sure, I am going to investigate this further. Thanks for the link!

BamaPhred said...

I agree with open unlimited outlaw class. Except for the fact that there would be riders dropping dead left and right and all kinds of road rage incidents, sort a like pro wrestling. Now ascending Alp Fred at 10 watts per kilo. Speed, endurance, Lycra what's not to like? Needs a catchy acronym

BikeSnobNYC said...

Crosspalms,

None whatsoever.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

I know almost nothing about Portland and its cults... but the guy I saw in Grants Pass the other day driving his Ron Paul stickered motorcycle, an assault riffle over his shoulder the other day scared me for sure.

leroy said...

At least now I know why my dog borrowed my black light Jimi Hendrix poster.

Thank goodness it wasn't drug-related.

Anonymous said...

Back in my Racing Days, I used to worry about air pressure and adjust if it was a road race or a crit, dry or wet, etc. Now I inflate to 110 and re-inflate when my tires feel too squishy. Usually somewhere between 60 and 80. Nothing like getting old and lazy.

Anonymous said...

@anon at 1:20, this is Portland we're talking about. 650B is probably the most common wheel size. At least until someone invents a size specifically for tall bikes.

Comment deleted said...

Re: anal-retentive tire inflation. I've always wondered how much of those carefully-curated pounds-per-square escape on the "gasp" made by knocking the pump off the valve.

CommieCanuck said...

BUTT MAYO

CommieCanuck said...

Commie,
Was it artisanal mayo?


Of course, we only shove the best up our arses.

So nice to come to a place on the interweb where no one gives a fuck about the new royal brat.

Nogocyclist said...

Commmie Canuck, my Yahoo email also got hacked the same way as Serial Retrogrouch's friend's account and set out a link to this add or one just like it.

The address was a foreign link with fox in the URL, but not actually the URL for Fox News.

The spammer must have felt the patrons of Fox News are that gullible, but it was not actually Fox putting out this Spam, at least not in this case.

CommieCanuck said...

Usually somewhere between 60 and 80. Nothing like getting old and lazy

LAZY ROKS

CommieCanuck said...

Fox Nuws makes you stoopid

Roille Figners said...

Whew, sorry I'm late, but that garlic-lemon aioli enema was fantastic. And now I've got a baguette up there to sop up the sauce.

Are we really watching these mayo enemae?

I like how she says "I do not need to see any more mayonnaise enemas..." Like anyone will ever do that again, ever. Like mayonnaise enemas are such a numerous and plentiful commodity, in such vast oversupply, that you simply sit and watch mayonnaise enemas until such time as you have seen a sufficient number (somehow I guess you just know) and then you're all set: you don't need to see any more mayonnaise enemas.

Dave said...

More Cowbell!

McFly said...

Speaking of mayonnaise enema's my wife made me finally watch BrokeButt Mountain last night. I suppose it was a decent love story. Didn't really get into the sword fighting in the tent, though. It was a different time but male on male butt ramming is still male on male butt ramming.

ChamoisJuice said...

Grant Petersen probably thinks the Shinola guys stole his idea:

-blow smoke up the ass of bike nerds about craftmanship, while not actually building anything in house.

-replicate antiquated bikes at 5 times the cost of original. Shinola seems to be copying Raleigh 3 speeds instead of Fuji 10 speeds.

-they even use the same frame builder. Waterford was so much cooler when they made Schwinn.

-The more I look at it, Shinola is Rivendell 2.0. When is the Shinola newsprint zine coming out??

Anonymous said...

McFly has 5 letters. GAYYY! has 5 letters. Coincidence?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Commie, say this five times fast:

"Royal baby buggy bumpers."

Capcha = "nisimitt." Didn't he invent basketball?

wishiwasmerckx said...

For dinner tonight, I am going to that new hot dog restaurant "Carlos Danger" and have myself a wiener.

CommieCanuck said...

Like anyone will ever do that again, ever. Like mayonnaise enemas are such a numerous and plentiful commodity, in such vast oversupply, that you simply sit and watch mayonnaise enemas until such time as you have seen a sufficient number (somehow I guess you just know) and then you're all set: you don't need to see any more mayonnaise enemas.

Oh, so you are better than us, you can honestly say you've never commented on this blog while giving yourself, or a close friend some type condiment enema? You know, your mayonnaise, your various ketchups, your relishes, your mustards, your tarter sauces, etc. Please. We are not naive, we know what goes on, on the internets.

Anonymous said...

... your grey poopon ...

ken e. said...

TAR TAR

Anonymous said...

My brother is a super of a building in the tenderloin in San Fran where the Night Stalker killed
and hung one of his victims, a child nonetheless. I asked my brother what he did when he found that out and he boarded up the basement closet where it happened. It always freaks me out big time when I visit him out there, long story short I totally can relate the the jebbies from the son of Sam situation. But don't let it ruin your ride.

Roille Figners said...

Condiments?!?!? I beg your pardon! The only thing REMOTELY close was the "root beer float" incident of '95, and I think we all know the circumstances there.

Anonymous said...

It's fun to read the comments here from the bottom up and see how long it takes until you get to a bicycle reference.

CommieCanuck said...

this blog is about bicycles? who knew?

Roille Figners said...

I thought it was about scranus.

Anonymous said...

Mcfly, we get it your "straight"
Congrats

Comment deleted said...

Anonymous @4:13: His straight *what*, exactly?

Focus said...

"It extends the duration of maximal efforts."

I was once trying to explain minimal techno to my boss in Scotland, to which he replied "why not maximal techno?"

I told him (in an earnest 20 something way) that was dumb because maximal is not even a word.

I guess I was wrong. Of course he used words like gadgie and fusty as well.

Anonymous said...

Riddle: whose comments are funnier?
A. Commie Canuck
B: chamoisjuice
C: none of the above

ChamoisJuice said...

maximal techno

maximal techno, ladies' edition

Comment deleted said...

Anon @ 4:08, yes we do tend to wander a bit astray as the day wears on, usually into utter filth and degradation.

I love this blog.


3 peanduk

Dooth said...

Holy shit, Wildcat! Shinola is serving arsetisanal mayo on white bread sandwiches!
How can you pass that up?

Anonymous said...

BSNYC,

That will teach you to move to the burbs. Boredom breeds odd behavior. Have you learned nothing from your comment section?

crosspalms said...

peanduk -- words for Cavendish to live by

Dooth said...

Holy shit, Wildcat!
Shinola has an arsetisanal mayo on white bread sandwich on their menu!
How can you pass that up!?

W G said...

David Berkowitz AKA "Son of Sam" was born in Brooklyn! That explains a lot! Yep the ole, "the devil made me do it defense." Too bad NY didn't execute him. Then you'd have a cool ghost to dodge while riding out there. As he is 60, you'll probably have to wait a while for that.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Hey Wildcat your Berkowitz-death cult links led me in a roundabout way to this creepy story. The Great God Pan

I never heard of Arthur Machen before. He spun a good yarn back in the day.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

You should right a good ghost story for your next book and call it
"The Great Lob Pan"

crosspalms said...

Commie,
I think these guys feel the same way.

Comment deleted said...

C

Mr Plow said...

ken e.
did you lose both pinkies in an unfortunate accident?

Anonymous said...

Snob - I emailed you a picture of a surly kid wearing a bootleg Bike Snob tee shirt at RAGBRAI. I think it's a keeper.

Anonymous said...

By the way, it's National Hot Dog Day.

Anonymous said...

Infaltion app? Pointless, different casing thicknesses are also a huge factor (I love huge factors on a girl). I just run every tire I own at 145 p.s.i., seems to work fine for me.

McFly said...

Of course I'm not gay. Whose got my back here?

Mr Plow said...

AYHSMPSI

Comment deleted said...

McFly, I think it probably stems from how you were reared.

ken e. said...

@mr. plow:
tragic dictionary incident or i'm a muppet...

ChamoisJuice said...

AYHSMB is a thing, back from when BSNYC used to talk about bikes,was funny, appealed to an audience who enjoyed sex for reasons other than procreation..

Anonymous said...

Snobby,

You must be one hell of a contortionist to check tyre pressure AND wank AND pick your nose with the same hand.

In any event, however accomplished you are in the practice, surely you're simply compromising the effectiveness of all three procedures?

For those not so dexterous, if you must conduct all three actions simultaneously, I might suggest combining the tyre-pressure-checking and wanking components in one undertaking (pinch flats be damned, go for a low tyre pressure) and dedicating the hand exclusively to nose picking functions.

If you also need to scratch your arse, you might have to take the plunge and consider using a second hand!

Whoopsee said...




https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Ls3NxXSb1K0

ChamoisJuice said...

fixed your link, with aussie commentary

spence said...

Illuminati! Signifyin'!

JDH said...

National Hot Dog Day? Huzzah! Me love the pro-cessed meats. Roboto say; heirpres 9811.

anonymoose said...

Gotcher back, McFly. Definitive non-gay dude. I know. Babble told me. The robot girl remembered you, also. ickopact 20, she said. She didn't elaborate.

Allan Folz said...

Hey folks, as one of the authors of the app, I can say that, overwrought marketing copy aside, the point of the app is to dispel the typical Fred advice to pump your tires to 220 minus your age.

Just a little something fun for gear nuts to play with, and to help friends to convince friends that harder isn't necessarily better. :)

Cheers.

Allan Folz said...

Oh, and there's a free demo version over at the Goog.

crosspalms said...

Allan Folz,
From your lips to CJ's ears...

Allan Folz said...

:-)

Anonymous said...

Keytone Kops.

I want to see the Toor day Frence done with something like the old rules. No support crew. Do all your own repairs.

You can black light and EPO and Youth Serum all you want, but if you can't change a flat or replace a spoke or (snort) weld your dainty crabon frame when it cracks... toast.

Bike Tinker said...

Anon 1:20 - we just thought you could do the 700C to 27" math in your head. It's x times 1.0fuckit.

Yarpo said...

I'm predicting that Wednesday's Snob Offering, or Snoffering, will be about Weinergate Deux, now that the Mayor-Aspirant has been busted YET AGAIN texting peen photos.

Is his penis really that photogenic?

Discuss amongst yourselves as the meh-loton speeds towards Wednesday Weed Weiner-ific Podium Glory!

Watch for the road furniture in the last kilometer, especially the bollards shaped like concrete penises.

122nd Comment/Place: how Gatis Smukulis of me!

Angie Kritenbrink said...

Weird!

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Another Sequal For The Wolverine Planned
New Wolverine Hi Res Image Gallery
The Wolverine Movie Set Photos Story Details Spoilers And Adamantium Claws
The Wolverine Is Not R Rated! Why?
Old Man Logans Story Involved In the Wolverine
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Download The Wolverine Movie
Download The Wolverine Movie
Download The Wolverine Movie
Download The Wolverine Movie
Download The Wolverine Movie
Download The Wolverine Movie
Download The Wolverine Movie
Download The Wolverine Movie
Download The Wolverine Movie

ce said...

Performance enhancing artisanal mayonnaise enemas: putting the "anal" into artisanal mayonnaise, or the artisanal mayonnaise into the anus. Or whatever, I don't know, but I'm really glad we're having this conversation! I luv you guys. Yes, I am mildly inebriated. No, I don't mean "I love you" like that Brokeback Mountain watching queer McFly. I would never watch that filth, although I do hear the sex scenes were in tents. Mc Fly loves in-tents sex. Actually, a he's fan of any old sex. Okay, he's a fan of anything more stimulating than having a cold shower, in a frigid Antarctic wasteland, amidst the penguins. Those sexy penguins. Speaking of sexy geography, we have a mountain range near here called Broken Back Range and I'm so paranoid that one day I'm going to accidently refer to it as "Brokeback Mountain", because, you know, if I did that it would mean that I'm gay like McFly.

Hi there again Angie! Please shut the fuck up already.

McFly said...

If I had to put the gay tent sex in order it would go as follows:

1st) Heath Ledger

2nd) Randy Quaid

3rd) Jake GillentheyhhaylllMaggiethyall

4th) Your Mom

ce said...

I recently watched Jake Gilliganhaul in the point of view cop drama "End of Watch". Spoiler: his boyfriend is shot dead. Hooray!

McFly said...

Download the Wolverine Movie. Do it.

BamaPhred said...

It's fun typing in busted weiner and getting the NYC mayoral race. Yes, I have no life.

RoadQueen said...

Aww, McFly isn't gay. He's way too much of a horny pig to be gay.

McFly: I mean that in the nicest, most endearing way possible. I wait for your hilarious, sexually charged posts with baited breath.

Seriously. I do. You're funny as fuck, don't ever change.

arcroba 77

Blog Drafter said...

So that's why those Artisanal Wolverine™ shops are sprouting up all over.


Shit, I'm rogsmal.

Blog Drafter said...

McFly @ 6:35

Gay, straight, what does it matter as long as they buy you pretty things afterwards?

babble on said...

Heh heh... McFly? Gay?

Snort.

Comment deleted said...

Queenie, *baited* breath? Eeew!

RoadQueen said...

CD, I didn't say what I 'baited' it with. :P

Amanda said...

This is cool!

Jimm said...

bikesnob tweeted: "...Hmmm, wonder what the latest soon-to-be-forbidden technically-not-doping technique is..."

That's easy: exercising.