Friday, June 28, 2013

It's Friday! Yay! No Quiz, Only Anger!

I can't help that some people are crazy, but I just wish they'd leave bikes out of it.  It's a machine with two wheels.  It's convenient, it's efficient, and it's relatively harmless.  So why do crazy people constantly have to incorporate it into their delusions?  Why the bike of all things?  Why not blenders, or barbecue grills, or irons?

Take Dorothy Rabinowitz, for example.  At this point I mostly just feel bad for her.  Citi Bike is pretty much polling through the roof, but this poor woman is still milking the bike crazy talk, and she doesn't even realize that the only reason people still pay attention is that they can't believe the stuff that comes out of her mouth:

Not only do I feel bad for her, but I'm legitimately worried about her, because this sounds like the behavior of a depressed person:

It was 1 p.m. on Sunday. The night before, she stayed up late watching The Sopranos, fell asleep at 4:30 a.m., tumbled out of bed at 10:30, made coffee, and played with her Tibetan terrier.

By the way, I've heard lots of slang terms for the vagina, but I've never heard it called a "Tibetan terrier."

Not only is she probably clinically depressed, but she's also deeply lonely--so lonely that she wishes the government would read her emails:

“Snooping into what? Most sane people would say, 'Go ahead, look at my e-mail correspondence, what do I care? As long you stop the bombers in Boston.' I mean, that is the normal, visceral American response.”

Apparently, in Dorothy Rabinowitz's universe, the government stopped the Boston Marathon bombings.

Anyway, I'm sure she's using the situation to her advantage:



She's also out of her fucking tree, and her addled brain is causing her to hallucinate:

“The pods have landed, only they've landed with the racks, and they're coming with allies called bicyclists. The activating force behind all of the fury was the racks, instruments of aesthetic torture.”

It's really awful when you think about it.  The poor woman is losing her mind and all we can do is interview her and laugh.  If only there was someone out there who loved her, like a family member or a close friend or even a friendly dry cleaner, they might keep the press away and get her the help she needs.  As it is, all she has is Simon Doonan:


I wonder if Simon Doonan's garden gnome visits her during those late night "Sopranos" jags and whispers into her ear about how bikes are ruining America before it starts playing with her "Tibetan terrier."

And no sooner do I finish reading that interview than I get an email that says this:

Here's a reasonable bit of opposition to the Citibike program; it might be a little harder to eviscerate than the WSJ's efforts.



Reasonable?!?  Holy shit!  This Daniel Greenfield guy must have been the biggest schmuck on the kibbutz.  He's like the offspring of Dorothy Rabinowitz and this guy.  Take this for example:

A city with streets full of cars is a working city. A city with streets full of bikes is a leisure city. 

Most of the people you see out there on bikes are riding them to work, dimwit.  And does this guy look like he's recreating?

Dumbass.

Then there's this:

The old loud New York City is being made smooth and quiet. Old noisy bars are making way for fake retro establishments that look like they date back a hundred years ago, but weren't even there last week. Car lanes are giving way to bike lanes. On one side overgrown children gleefully pedal their Citibank bikes, a habit they will abandon when winter sets in. On the other, the grandchildren of factory workers and the children of postal workers, watch them go by.

Clearly this putz moved to New York five years ago.  "Old noisy bars" are not "making way for fake retro establishments."  Rather, "fake retro establishments" are opening in neighborhoods that were previously quiet and residential, and in fact the most of the old quiet New York is being made loud.

By the way, every old-time Brooklynite likes to flaunt their authenticity by talking about how they grew up playing stickball in the street.  Well, you know why kids don't play stickball in the street anymore?  Because if they tried it they'd get run over by an SUV and die.

As for the ridiculous bit about the factory workers, I don't even know what that's supposed to mean, but I suspect he's trying to romanticize the sort of working class people he's never actually met in real life.  Mostly though he's just insulting them, since in his worldview they just stand there on the sidewalk being confused by bicycles.

And this is just fucking stupid:

There are rural parts of the country where walkers are suspect. A man who walks down the street, rather than drives, is suspected of being a bum or a criminal. Solid citizens own cars and drive them to work or to the mall. Indigents walk. The urban centers however are swinging the other way. It's the drivers who are suspect and the bike riders who are the solid citizens of the recyclable state.

So everybody, regardless of whether they're in the country or in the city, should suspect walkers of being bums or criminals.

Got it.

But wait!  It gets dumber!

Bikes, once associated with a wealthy leisure class who had the time to pursue their interest in nature and healthy activities, became universal when nearly every child could have one. Now bikes have been priced up into expensive adult toys. Cities are full of grown men and women who spend fortunes on expensive bikes that they hardly ever use except on the weekends, but hang prominently by their doors so that everyone can see.

Uh-huh.  Also, cars, once associated with a wealthy leisure class, became universal when nearly every schmuck went into debt to own one. Cities are full of grown men and women who spend fortunes on expensive cars that they hardly ever use except on the weekends, and park prominently by the curb so that everyone can see.

Fucktard.

Look, if this guy wants to write fucked up articles about "Jewish matters" and fondle his schmeckle while he waits for the "Moshiach" that's fine with me.  Just leave the bikes out of it.  That's a subject for sane people to discuss.

Oh, also, the NYPD appears to be redoubling its efforts to harass cyclists out of existence, for I recently received an email from a reader who got thrown in jail for riding on the sidewalk.  Here are the highlights:

Since my husband Lin and I came home from the hospital with our twin boys, Otis and Max, I've tried to sneak out for 20 minutes daily for a bike ride in Prospect Park to get a little exercise and clear my sleep-deprived head. It's been easy to do, especially with Lin's parents visiting. 

The Prospect Park traffic circle is pretty much a clusterfuck, and evidently the reader did what many people do, which is roll on the sidewalk for a bit in order to get to the park loop.  Unfortunately, he also did something I did a zillion times when I lived near Prospect Park, which was duck in for a few laps without carrying ID.

Obviously you're not supposed to ride on the sidewalk, and while sometimes there's a good excuse, other times I think if you get ticketed for it then tough shit, them's the breaks.  This, however, is ridiculous:

Without delay, she told me to put my hands behind my back and *handcuffed* me - not the plastic, protest-y kind of handcuffs, but big metal numbers. And then she put me in the car. (Thankfully a local business owner, alarmed at what he'd seen, offered to store my bike until my return, saving me an extra hassle.) While the one who cuffed me was outside on the phone, undoubtedly deciding whether to screw with me or not, I mentioned to the partner that I had two newborns and home and maybe they could verify my identity through the computer, as was readily possible. 

No, instead they threw him in jail.

Yeah, so I don't know, I think we're probably fucked.  You know who's kicking ass in the mayoral polls?  This guy:


(He must have bought that helment for $3 at a Park Slope stoop sale.)

I've never seen a non-roadie look so unhappy on a bike.  He looks like Simon Doonan being forced to have sex with Dorothy Rabinowitz.  Clearly though, he has to pretend to like bikes until he actually gets into office, at which point he can finally "have a bunch of ribbon-cuttings tearing out your fucking bike lanes," as he once put it.

We are so screwed.

138 comments:

Tetanus the Clown said...

Podium

theEel said...

weed!

ChamoisJuice said...

RIDE WITH ANGER

McFly said...

Where can I get some of that Molteni or Mapei? I needs some of that shat.

RoadQueen said...

Top 10! TGIF!!!!!

Anonymous said...

TOP TEN!! Ready for the Tour!

Anonymous said...

Wow that was a bellyful

Jimboner said...

Tibetan Terriers are the new merkin.

Billy said...

Wow. Simply amazing how little critical thinking capability other Americans have. We should give up and move to Chemin Laforge, Canada.

Anonymous said...

Top something. Just like Cleveland. Yeah!

Yarpo said...

Top Ten Baguette!

Jimboner said...

There is nothing human about the racks.

-D. Brillo Muff Rabinowitz

also, the owls are not what they seem.

Anonymous said...

Weeners and Master Bates!

Yarpo said...

Elevenst! Scranus McTwatwaffle Stale Dinner Roll of Meh!

ppionne into...hmmm...isn't Franco Pellizotti's nickname, "Il Delfino di Ppionne?"

Time for a pre-work morning ride, resplendent in my polka-dot KOMeh socks for the truly dorktastic effect.

I'll be thinking about chateau porn.

Fritz said...

"So why do crazy people constantly have to incorporate it into their delusions? "

Alas poor Yorick that is the question

Nutters and Bikes...Ham and Eggs

NYC someone should check the water

. said...

there is the tragic spectacle of non-bikers riding bikes. “They don't look cool,” she said. “They have that little half-smile of people who don't know if they're going to do well because everybody's watching them. And in fact, everybody is watching them.”

Marcel Da Chump said...

Rabid Tibetan Terrier.

ge said...

Good call Billy. Up in Chemin Laforge there's just Jacques Shellac to deal with.

McFly said...

Oh man you get heckled in TN for NOT riding on the sidewalk. From what I inferred that was a woman that got the plastic playtime cuffs on her. Don't knock it til you try it.

Comment deleted said...

Outrage replaces fun quiz. And rightly so. At least the schmeckle-gazer finally came out and said what most car drivers are thinking: if you don't drive, you are suspect.

crosspalms said...

Life was better back before there were bikes, when the land was lawless and unpeopled. Those were the days. Now you can't even rip off someone's arm and eat it in front of them, people are too squeamish for that.

Speaking of arm ripping, the parade for the Blackhawks was a block from my office a little while ago. Lots of cheering and I could see confetti and black and red balloons blowing past the window. They could have had powder-blue balloons, too, to mark the official start of Divvy bike-share here, but evidently decided against it. Sadly we have no one in the Chicago press as entertaining as Cruella Rabinowitz, but I expect the local fatheads will notice the bikes next week, after all the hockey fans have drifted back to the suburbs.

all_your_ideas_belong_to_Citibank said...

Solid citizens own cars and drive them to work or to the mall. Indigents walk.

Yup. Exactly. Welcome to Uh-meh-rhi-ku where curating a car is required for citizenship and bikes are toys.

It's wrong, but the most elegant summary of upper-class zeitgeist I've ever read.

Also, that duder's helment on the citibike is about 30 years old. It's a Bell V1 Pro. It was way better than the leather hairnet. I don't miss them.

How many more times can the Citibank brand be flogged? Let's call them bailout bikes, or maybe Citifrauds. Because that's where the money to pay for branding came from. Who's with me???

Robot stack failure

TheLurker said...

Well. I thought the foaming-mouthed idiots on the comment pages of the Daily Mail were especially stupid when it came to bikes, but once again we've been spectacularly outdone by the USA. You really do breed some exceptionally stupid... well no... I am totally lost for a suitable epithet.

It's probably all our fault. If we'd gaoled the nutcases on the Mayflower before she set sail the gene pool over there would probably be a great deal... saner? We are so very, very sorry.

Roy said...

So sad to see public confirmation that Dorothy and Daniel are such a waste of genetic material. And I ride to work and for transport not fucking lesiure or excersize!

mikeweb said...

I wonder if King of the Fucktards, Dan Greenfield is aware of the fact that much of the parkway infrastructure in and around his fantasy version of New York City was designed and built by a man named Robert Moses, for the express purpose of driving as a leisure activity:

"Contrary to popular belief, Moses knew how to drive an automobile, but he did not have a valid drivers license. Instead, he used limosines to go virtually everywhere. Moses' view of the automobile harkened back to the 1920s, when the car was seen as a vehicle more for pleasure than for the business of life. Moses's highways in the first half of the 20th century were parkways, curving, landscaped 'ribbon parks,' intended to be pleasures to drive in and 'lungs for the city".

babble on said...

What's the point in even trying anymore? We're doomed. Fucked. Up.
Sigh...
I'm just going to go and play with my Tibetan terrier now.

Comment deleted said...

Snob, your continued criticism of Dotty Rabidknownothing is idiotist.


and it's

Creating akeuris

Anonymous said...

Thinking about Dorothy Rabinowitz playing with her Tibetan Terrier gave me the urge to clean my chain.

Frilly Chick said...

That's some right tasty Kool-Aid Dorothy's drinking. I was thinking the same thing Snobbie, where the eff is her family? One of them needs to step up & shove a sock in her mouth already.

As to the opening of yesterday's post, I believe it is going to be a long three weeks pour moi.

Comment deleted said...

Babs, on the bright side, these are the frightened bleats of a dying breed. Even though we are still surrounded by young, healthy idiots, I feel we are gaining ground. The louder they squeal, the better we must be doing.

dnk said...

Well for Friday comedy there is serviceably dumbass NY Times article, video and slideshow (which includes photo of "stripped down and matte black" bike locked on street).

Article includes gem about guy who "sold chandeliers made of antlers and bureaus resembling stacks of firewood, helping to define what has come to be known as Brooklyn style"

Dave - everywhere said...

To quote the Wicked Witch of the West (the real one, not Dotty Rabid-o-witch) "What a world, what a world!" Now we're un-American because we ride a bike.

Comment deleted said...

Welcome back, sweet cheeks!

mikeweb said...

babble,

Maybe someday your Tibetan Terrier can play with Snob's Dachshund of Time.

I find it amusing that Dottie lives in the West Village. I'd bet dollars to donuts that most of her neighbors below the age of 70 think she's an asshole.

get on the ... said...

SIDEWALK!

mikeweb said...

Frilly in 'da house!

Anonymous said...

all your ideas belong to citibank: Not with you. Most of the banks were forced to take a "loan" by the government after having refused it, the idea was they would use the money to lend into the crappy economy hopefully spurring growth. A completely flawed idea to begin with. Anyway, all of the banks paid back the loans years ago with interest (including citi who paid a portion with equity shares which earned the government billions in profit on the original loan). So the Citibikes were not paid with the loans. That is a stupid statement. You may now place your head back inside of your rectum.

McFly said...

I think Dorothy is getting a little hotter with each post. At this rate she will be 3-beer boneable by August 17th.

babble on said...

Mikeweb - That's an appealing thought! It's true, my terrier is a lonely, sad dog these days, but I think the 17 pups in Snob's kennel might make any sort of romp a bit awkward.

Takes a real bitch to move in on that kind of action!

Comment deleted said...

McFly, I just threw up inside your mouth.

babble on said...

Heh heh... Lance says "You can't win the Tour de France without dope.

Let the games begin.

babble on said...

Frilly cheeks! BABEALISCIOUS!

Where have you been? Welcome back!

Comment deleted said...

Damn, Babs, what's wrong with those Vancouver boys? Has their manly essence been sapped by the killer weed? Are they frickin' blind to the beauty going by on their roads?

Schlappschwantzes, all of 'em.

Reality said...

@anon 1:15,

I think you might be forgetting (or ignorant) of the 'back door' bail out of the major banks via the billions that the government poured into AIG where the banks had underwritten insurance on the idiotic mortgages that they had written. Of course the banks continue to lie to people and continue to kick them out of their homes, so there's that too.

Lance said...

"You can't win the tour without doping."

"It's not about the bike."

"Tight eighteen year olds."

babble on said...

It's not them, it's me. I'm choosy.

mikeweb said...

McFly,

When you get here the week of the 17th, I'll have the beers ready.

Anonymous said...

...or Salad Shooters!?

Anonymous said...

...forget that...get a good inexpensive chef's knife and use the 'clawed fingers' technique to hold the cutting project...

Freddy Murcks said...

Where's the quiz?

financial ishrat

McFly said...

Cool. I will put a Cialis back. You want one? Gonna need it.

Anonymous said...

The thing to remember about Dorothy is that, while her opinions on cycling are odd, all those Wall Street Journal editorials on things like wars, the economy, the environment, etc. which she writes, and which are read by the wealthiest and most powerful people in the country, are all completely well-reasoned and sane.

So no worries!

babble on said...

Oh ho! And judge not, lest ye be judged. Hottest 21 year old I've ever seen hit hard yesterday... I had to laugh, cause, damned was I tempted.

But my heart betrays me. It wants what it wants and it loves how it loves, and there is no reasoning with it.

ChamoisJuice said...

21 is a good age.

Comment deleted said...

Well, some worthy dude is going to reap the whirlwind when you focus that pent-up Babs-ness on him.


alcyque this!

Anonymous said...

WRM writes: "Obviously you're not supposed to walk on the sidewalk, and while sometimes there's a good excuse, other times I think if you get ticketed for it then tough shit, them's the breaks."

I think that's meant to be "ride", but it might be a reference to the indigent rural pedestrians from earlier in the post. I envy Snob that, no matter what gibberish he writes, it can't be definitively pinned down as a typo or slip.

Anonymous said...

Snobby:

Best advice I ever got:

Don't argue with crazy people, you cannot win.

This applies to all the people in your rant, as well as angry drivers directing their road rage towards you when you're riding.


wishiwasmerckx said...

Choosy mothers choose Jif.

I think I'll change my name to Jif...

ETF said...

Mr. Bike Snob, a few things: 1) “they might keep the press away and get her the help she needs.” Isn’t Ms. Rabinowitz “the press?” Isn’t she a columnist and member of the editorial board of The Wall Street Journal? And number 2) Haven’t you just proven that the “Freedom of the Press” works? You apparently read and or listen to the anti-bike crap, which someone like, say, Dorothy Rabinowitz, GETS PAID to spew.

mikeweb said...

I think the real wiwm has given up on commenting and subscribed to Readers Digest.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Mikeweb, you have been around these parts long enough to recognize that assholes like CJ come, and assholes like CJ go. He'll eventually get bored and move along, presumably to shedsnobnyc.

I, for one, refuse to establish a blogger id or some other nonsense just because CJ gets off by frequently posting about me and occasionally posting as me.

wishiwasmerckx said...

If it is topical and at least germane, if not witty, it is me. If it is inane or contains errors in spelling, grammar or syntax, it is CJ posing as me.

wishiwasmerckx© said...

If it's about how hot Axel looks in a skin suit in full time trial mode, it's definitely me!

wishiwasmerckx said...

And if it reflects the ramblings of a loathsome, abhorrent ignoramus or a half-witted, antisemitic cretin, it is CJ posting as himself.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Well now, CJ, I have met Axel and he is a swell individual in person. A real class act, not that you would know anything about that.

Anonymous said...

Anyone that would wear that shirt, looking (painfully) at you Mr. Doohan, is not allowed to criticize the style of anything. ANYTHING.

ChamoisJuice said...

WIWM, first off, I have been commenting here longer than you have.

The first post I commented on was the Kludgie: about the trek 930 with more adapters than actual components. Of course, it has always been as "anon" or "Miles Rockwell or whoever". It was not until boner stems and goofy tiller effects that I took a legit handle. But, I have always been here.

Secondly, the entire "anti-semetic" persona of ChamoisJuice, has been a put on to piss off the overly sensitive, ie you. I made some comment about liking BSNYC because it reminds me of the things I love and hate about NYC: Pizza, bagels, music, art, black people, jews. Maybe not the best joke, but it is as much a jab at the PNW, suburbs, upstate and myself. You are too dumb to realize this is self aware parody.
Please, find a comment I have made that is hateful toward Jews. There are none. Sure , there are plenty of vaguely ignorant, but technically accurate statements like "Yiddish is an inherently funny language", but nothing that can be interpreted at hateful by a rational person.
JEWJ OKES

all_your_ideas_belong_to_citibank said...

Oh, dear Anon @ 1:15 PM,

That Wall Street/banking job as a ball-gargler must be going great! Right now....

http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/the-real-housewives-of-wall-street-look-whos-cashing-in-on-the-bailout-20110411

There was paying the banks for deposits, CDS scam mentioned above, ridiculous FASB revisions, and various ways to acquire funds generically described as the "easy money" Wall Street has been snorting for years.

Bailout bikes seems sufficiently offensive. mmkay? I'm open to others though...

Robot stack failure

Shep said...

CJ, you remind me of my friend landotter, look him up. Is this your forum troll handle too?

ChamoisJuiceIsAFookinIdiot said...

CJ -

"anon," "Miles Rockwell," ChamoisJuice, or whatever, you have always been and will always be a stoopid fucking asshole. And anti-semitism and other race-based humor isn't funny. If you like that shit, mosey over the skinhead websites. There you will find a bunch of stupid, semi literate dick bags who are just like you. They will LOVE you.

only gyddlk

Anonymous said...

Daniel greenfield should take his schnitzelwurst and smack ribowitz's tibetan terrior with it. they can make some baby fucktards and raize them in the cuntree where walking bums and poor people won't bother them whilst they kanoodle about in their liesure-class automobile that runs off the crush bones of cyclists they mow down while kibitzing about how much bi-cyclerists suck balzack.

gsoview discussed

ChamoisJuice said...

ChamoisJuiceisaFookinIdiot:

I am glad I help you feel superior to other white people because you don't find curly sideburns jokes funny.

#2. Jew describes a religion, not a race. ACCURACY IS IMPORTANT TO ME.

#3. I'm gonna go ahead and say anyone who thinks I am racist, is in face projecting their insecurities on to me. So there. SERIOUSLY, if you can't laugh at the Hasids because you are too worried about being perceived as antisemitic; YOU ARE TOO WORRIED ABOUT BEING ANTISEMITIC.

Anonymous said...

First time ever I scored 100% on the quiz!

wishiwasmerckx said...

So now we're into the "I've been a fanboy longer than you've been a fanboy" debate? I commented anonymously for many, many months before ever first posting as "wishiwasmerckx."

You are not entertaining, and I strongly suspect that most of the rest of the commenters find these exchanges tiresome.

You have been asked (and told) by probably a dozen commenters, including the proprietor of this site, that your shtick is unfunny and inappropriate. You are so tone-deaf, and your ego is so large, that this actually eggs you on instead of dissuading you.

Everybody else recognizes that there is something fundamentally wrong with you. Your recent run of first comments serves to demonstrate that you have an unhealthy and unnatural obsession with this comment board.

Could you please link to a paypal account? Because I would actually pay you money not to post here, and I suspect that others feel the same way.

Toodles!

ChamoisJuiceIsAFookinIdiot said...

I gladly second what wishiwasmerckx said. Plus I add this: Go eat a bag of dicks, CJ. You are a stupid fucking asshole and everybody hates you. You are such a thoroughly unlikable person, that I bet that if you had a dog it would hate you too.

leroy said...

My dog wishes to remind all and sundry that he is not a Tibetan Terrier.

He is a Brooklyn Schnorrer.

We will be driving an automobile with bicycles perched upon it for most of the day tomorrow.

I'd phone in a Friday Faux Quiz, but that would mean letting my dog drive.

And that just doesn't seem like a good idea. (Unlike his advice to bring winter weight jerseys for those chilly South Georgia mornings in July; that makes perfect sense.)

Greenfield, Rabinowitz, Weiner....
Schmucks. Just schmucks. And the moron cop in Prospect Park: unbef*ckinglievable.

I'll need some rides in the 90 degree warmth to cleanse.

ChamoisJuice said...

I have a dog. She loves me. The bitches usually do.... I don't know what Babble's problem is... menopause mebbe?

Anonymous said...

I for one find both Jew jokes and CJ humorous. Tibetian terrier jokes are kinda funny as well.

Upstate Rural said...

I approve of all the ironic yiddish in this blog post on the internet.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Oh, and by the way CJ, for obvious reasons, in the future you are not allowed to use the words "self aware."

wishiwasmerckx said...

A Rabbi and CJ walk into a bar. CJ says "Look at your funny hat and your stupid sideburns!"

Everybody doubles over in uncontrolled fits of laughter.

Dooth said...

Dottie, that dark aesthetic nightmare incarnate, desperately needs a bone for her terrier.

Josh Buehner said...

And look, in this article he blames those fancy bikes with more than 6 speeds as the real culprit for all the carnage:

http://www.jewishpress.com/indepth/columns/daniel-greenfield/its-time-we-had-a-serious-discussion-about-assault-vehicles/2012/12/23/

Comment deleted said...

Ride and drive safely, Leroy. At least make your dog split the gas money, as much as his breed hates things like that.

Bikesnob's Tyler Durden said...

It's OK, WIWM, not everyone "gets" conceptual humor.

Dee Dee said...

You have some serious nutholes out there.

Anonymous said...

Gadzooks, that Simon Doonan is a top of the line instrument of aesthetic torture.

ChamoisJuiceIsAFookinIdiot said...

wishiwasmerckx - Of course CJ is not self-aware. He's not even intelligent enough to be sentient.

cnyseur Bobbitt

rural 14 said...

Rural 1st!

Hey, biking around up in SW Mass - esp in the winter - lots of people yelling at you, running you off the road etc. Because they assume you're a DUI or an undocumented person who cannot get paperwork for a license or a poor person (or a combination of all 3) - and here's where you see the worst of your fellow citizens.

But also many people treat one very respectfully.

Alls of us who ride for transportation up here - we all know each other and we all share the same experiences.

When one rides one realizes how poorly designed and laid out the infrastructure is and how we missed chances to make it better. The sad thing is seeing the same mistakes made again and again, in service of the car. Changing the zoning laws requires opposing big box business, and they can outspend us 70 to 1. You get the government you pay for.

Also, Simon Doonan is a great guy and well aware of what a peculiar icon he is / i worked with him a lot back when I was still a OG Brooklyn kid, and I will vouch for his warmth and incredible resourcefulness as a person and overall willingness to help people out (as he did for me when his bosses were doing terrible things to all their vendors).

Also - CJ - back off - perhaps you are funny, though not to me, but it doesn't come across in typing on the internet. It doesn't read as anything but reddit rejected talk.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Let this be a warning to the rest of you. CJ is what happens when your mother doesn't give you enough hugs when you were growing up.

Anonymous said...

Minds are narrow
In wide vehicles,
Open in bike lanes.

aRemst cometh

Lumpen Fredetariat said...

CJ, one reason I like this blog, and this commentariat, is that no-one takes themselves especially seriously. Since you do seem to care about your opinions, it either means you are somewhere between narcissistic and delusional, or somewhere between mischievous and malevolent, and the reason you rile people so much is that there are many other places on the webs where you can go and find buddies to ad hominem until the cows come home.

Lumpen Fredetariat said...

Oh, and Babble, if we look very hard at all the Vancouver NBR videos that seem to be popping up, would we find you in all your splendour?

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
babble on said...

Nope, I always seem to miss that one, somehow, but we're due for a record breaking one day heat wave soon, and you'll find me in all my bare nekkedness down at Wreck.

BamaPhred said...

Recent rants have left me leg humped by depression. Snob posts true, and what happens in NYC eventually works its way down to the hinterlands. So now I have to watch it unfurl, knowing what is going to happen.

Leroy, believe me if you are headed to South Georgia you will be cleansed by the heat and humidity.

LBS told me my bottom bracket was leaking cause I sweat so much that salt dried up in bracket. WTF?

And today's I 65 trip convinced me that the younger female crowd is smoking hot, and by that I mean they are puffing away on cigs of their choice and sweating.

Yep, it's been one of those weeks.

TDF. may the best athlete prevail. Meh, who am I kidding? But I do want to believe diff, even if it is naive.

"Was fuidsnly" and I don't even care

Ride safe all.

ChamoisJuice said...

WREC KBCH

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ChamoisJuice said...

3D-Printed Bike Porn: Ralf Holleis's Crabon Fiber VRZ 2 Track with Titanium Lugs and Dropouts

Bogusboy said...

So get the fuck out of NYC. You'll get over not being able to get a really great slice at 3 am. Honest.

ce said...

99 comments and mine ain't one

Stuart said...

Her name is Yana Dobrojinetskaya and there are lots more pictures of the baguette girl on and off bicycles all over the Internet. I guess I was mistaken, she was wearing pants, the shortest cutoffs I've ever seen. The baguette bag is made by a Ukrainian company. Someone should tell them baguettes are not "fluffy," they are usual pretty stiff, almost all crust.

Steve Barner said...

You really should go easy on Daniel Greenfield. After all, American kids start looking forward to becoming drivers about the time they leave middle school, recognizing this as being a right of passage from their role as insecure adolescents to that of insecure adults. Just when they've convinced themselves that they belong, you go ahead and change all the rules on them. It's a bit like those freaks who are in their 50s, but lack visible body fat, don't need to take any medications, and seem to be riding their bikes or going out for a run all the time. You think you can just strip away poor Daniel's trappings and leave him shivering in his insecurity? For shame, Snob!

ce said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
leroy said...

Yeesh, I made the mistake of looking at Greenfield's blog. Anyone who pats himself on the back for breaking the news that Obama is supported by Hamas appeasing rabbis has an unusual relationship with reality.

He claims to be an Orwell fan.

He reminds me of the braying youth enamored of the sound of breaking glass described by an Orwell contemporary.

Except he sound more like a nebbishy schmuck.

Not Weiner said...

According to Tablet magazine, Anthony (the) Weiner says the occupation of the West Bank doesn't exist."The status of that area is to be decided by the people who're there." In other news, outside of NYC, no one can believe Mr Weiner exists.

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McFly said...

My favorite TDF comment of ALL TIME....."Well Paul, it looks as though he will be going to hospital."


PEOPLE WE DON'T NEED THE'S!!! JOIN ME!!! LET'S KICK THE THE'S....you see what I did there?

My nephew will attend university this fall.

Anonymous said...

The bicycle gave people the freedom to get away from the shithole factories in which they worked and see the countyside. They couldn't afford holidays.

The car lobby is still too strong; they're a useful tool, though.

Snobby, just spotted a couple of your books for sale here in Edinburgh. Good distribution or wide-ranging remaindering?

hey nonny mouse

Anonymous said...

*countryside

hnm

wishiwasmerckx said...

CJ, the difference between you and me?

I am a complicated, diverse creature; a fine mix of debonair and adrenaline, battle scars and good jokes.

You are a prick.

wishiwasmerckx said...

And here I thought that it was only in my town that you find a bus blocking the bike lane. Turns out it's a problem in Corsica, too...

Anonymous said...

And the Solipsistic Comments jersey goes to...

I'm dreaming of Frilly's Tush in the morning said...

SNOB: "I wonder if Simon Doonan's garden gnome visits her during those late night "Sopranos" jags and whispers into her ear about how bikes are ruining America before it starts playing with her "Tibetan terrier."

No, he says "your Tibetan Terrier has gone out of business".

Before cars there were bikes and horses. I propose that first cars be banned from the city and then a "Citi" horse sharing system be started. Corrals could be build right next to the Citi bike racks.

BABBEL: If you're going to be naked at the Wreck, can I come over with a magic marker and sign you?

Speaking of great tush, great to see Frilly's tush back again. Couldn't she post a GIF of it "shaken all over" instead of the static thumbnail?

TDF - you want to know why the riders do drugs? It's because the race organizers try to kill them. This year the tour will go up Alpe-d’Huez twice in the same day. INSANE!

jerkin'is'werkin said...

O.K. does ya'll unerstan' now why us redneck crazzees gots guns? Cuz we don' cotton to nobuddy tellin' us ta git offin' the sidewalk. Or havin' no mayer what shows his dick on the internets. Cuz they knows we'll put the kill to em'. 'Nuf sed.

leroy said...

Health tip: If your dog tells you "Hey, let me take a photo of you pretending to ride a bike on the roof rack, it'll be funny," make sure you have the car keys.

On the plus side, I achieved Fred woo-hoo speed and then some.

Ride safely all!

Anonymous said...

wiwm is a Michelob Ultra man!

Anonymous said...

Take my word for it, I've been commenting here longer than anyone.

leroy said...

I assume Mr. Greenfield will approve and post the comment I left on his Bike Lanes to Nowhere article, but just in case he doesn't, my dog told me it would be a shame to waste all that typing and I should post it here as an open letter. I told him okay, but it was his typing (and typos). I thought he was taking my dictation of an in-law's sea food recipe.

Dear Mr. Greenfield:

The problem with your post on bicycles is that you take some subjective impressions, assert them as facts, and use them to justify stale observations about class and liberal elites.

I was born in NYC, lived here most of my life and have ridden here for fun, for exerise, for commuting for many years. I am no longer young by any stretch of the imagination, but still ride in NYC year round. I commute mostly on an inexpensive street bike, but also ride long distances for fun on a more expensive model. I am the grandson of urban factory workers for whom you express concern and yet I've used Citibikes for running errands and commuting and expect to do so in the future.

I am hardly a rabid bike advocate. When not cycling, I use the subway or drive to get around. Cycling is just one piece of our urban transportation infrastructure. That I enjoy it more than trying to park in NYC or sweating on a subway platform is just an added bonus.

All this background is simply to explain that my problem with your post is that I am a NYer who happens to ride a bike and my years of experience leave me with the impression that the facts don't support your thesis.

Of course, we may both be akin to two blind-folded folks trying to describe an elephant by touch. Our descriptions will differ based on where we stand. If that's the case, I got the end that eats.

I note from your bio that you're an Orwell fan (or at least like to quote him). Me too. I think you may misunderstood the context of the quote you've lifted from his critique of Bertrand Russell's book. It's not an exhortation to justify whatever you feel like saying by calling it a restatement of the obvious.

No matter. When it comes to bikes, you seem to find only what you're looking for. That is your prerogative of course.

But that isn't serious social commentary. And given how much your observations seem to differ from my experience, I wonder how much you really know about New York. I assume you would at least concede you don't have much experience actually riding a bike here.

So three friendly suggestions: get out more, this is an amazingly diverse city; add Caro's "Power Broker" to your summer reading list; and consider James Joyce's homily to "wipe your glosses with what you know."

babble on said...

Brilliant. Big Kiss, Leroy.

the Commentariat said...

Leroy, I thought the James Joyce quote was "Wipe your glasses on fat girl's asses," but what do I know?

robin hood said...

You guys allow it to be quite simple for all your folks available.
electric bicycles

leroy said...

I don't mean to brag, but my dog says that Babble likes me for my mind because she appreciates minimalism.

paulb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
paulb said...

DR may need a tin-foil hat about bikes, but everything else, I kind of agree with her.

Dr. Thrustmeat said...

Dorothy just wants love. Every woman has a spot deep in their vagina that needs pulse activated every 7-10 days. If not they get all bitchy and cranky. Its easier to get to if you put their ankles up by their shoulders. Or yours. Its science.

POUN DTWN

JB said...

Hey! Doc Thrustmeat!

Didn't know you read the Snob. My wife has another appointment with you on Wednesday.

I am so high right now said...

A bicycle is like an acoustic version of a motorcycle.

THINK ABOUT IT.

JB said...

Then the folding bike is the mandolin.

Dr. Thrustmeat said...

I will stabilize her then you can handle the weekly maintenance until she is back to a fevered pitch.

wishiwasmerckx© said...

I don't mean to brag, but my old lady says that she likes me for my schwanson because she appreciates minimalism.

McFly said...

I like number 33 but thats just me.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Thanks McFly, I appreciate that.

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Anonymous said...

You need to have ID to ride a bike in the park but can carry a gun! What sort of country are you living in fucktards?!

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