Thursday, December 13, 2012

Titles Are The Pie Plate Of Literature


(Good deal on some crabon, via a reader.)

If you need me at any point today, you'll be able to find me on the sofa watching this recently-Tweeted-at-me video, over and over and over again:



Is there a more satisfying sight than wave after wave of triathletes falling down like an invading army trying unsuccessfully to storm the walls of Castle Fredliness?  I would argue that there is not.  I'll also acknowledge that I probably couldn't make it up the hill either, but that's why I'm sitting here laughing at them instead of wearing armwarmers with a sleeveless vest and trying to ascend a 31% grade on a bike with aerobars.

Yes, life is good here on the sofa.  Shuck it all, life is good in general, I'm not going to lie.  Every morning I take a stroll down to the seaside where I greet the local fishmongers and the merchants returning from the East with exotic trinkets and fragrances.  Then I walk back home through the winding cobblestoned streets, put on my trinkets and douse myself in myrrh, and eat thirty-seven oysters for breakfast.  After that I plant myself on the couch and watch videos of triathletes falling down, until those bivalves start working their aperient magic and I adjourn to the restroom where I read and reread copies of my own books until I am voided.  (My books make a great holiday gift, by the way, though not the copies I keep in the restroom.)

Speaking of exotic trinkets from the East, it's hard to imagine I'll ever get tired of the falling-down triathletes, but if the unthinkable happens and I actually do I'll then turn to this equally beguiling promotional video for Tiso electronic shifting that was forwarded to me by Klaus of Cycling Inquisition:



I was sold on this stuff as soon as I heard that first smokin' guitar lick, but if that's not enough for you consider it has twelve speeds:


Those tridorks totally would have scaled that hill with an extra cog.

Not only that, but you can also shift remotely:


It's not hard to imagine the many uses for such a feature.  For example, most aspiring Freds hire coaches now because they can't figure out how to ride their bicycles on their own, so for an extra fee they can pay their coaches to select their gears for them too.  Also, when you're riding the home trainer you can have your butler or manservant shift for you while you read the Wall Street Journal.

Most impressive of all though is that the Tiso wireless shifting system has been battle-tested by this guy:


If it's so cold he needs a balaclava then I'm not sure why he isn't wearing gloves, but maybe it's to showcase the heated brake levers.

In any case, while Tiso may not have invented electronic shifting then they've certainly perfected it.  As for the bicycle itself, it's difficult to verify who first came up with the concept, but according to one man with a great deal of Italian pride and a YouTube account it certainly wasn't those sneaky Koreans:



This guy's not letting those Koreans get away with anything.  By the way, here's the article he's talking about, which appears to be a primitive attempt at humor:

Sure, it's a little dry now, but I can assure you that shit was fucking hilarious in 1904.

By the way, while wading through the New York Times archives I also discovered that the first-ever New York City bicycle crackdown took place in 1893:


Only then the excuses were a lot more creative:

Miss Douar is the first woman arrested under the ordinance governing bicycle riding in the streets, recently passed by the Board of Aldermen.  When arrested she claimed that her lamp was burning when she left home, and that it must have been extinguished by a gust of wind.  She was taken to the Thirtieth Street Station and given in charge of the matron.

I too blame the mighty god Zephyrus when I get pulled over for riding without a lantern on my steampunk recumbent:


By the way, when you're riding a steampunk recumbent you should always wear a pith helment:


And obviously an astonishing steampunk monocle:


But while recumbents may be timelessly dorky, if you had asked me whether cyclocross was still the bikey sport all the cool people were doing, I'd have said yes--until this morning, which is when I saw this cringeworthy display which I'd strongly suggest you don't watch:


This should cause all those new cyclocross converts to defect in droves--and when I say "defect" I mean they're going to stop saying the're totally going to do a 'cross race one day once their custom bikes are finished.

SRAM really could learn a thing or two from the marketing department over at Tiso.

146 comments:

Comment deleted said...

Cool Yule, y'all!

Anonymous said...

doped

Ed said...

Podium1

Ed said...

!

Name said...

top five?

Anonymous said...

Top 10???

Anonymous Coward said...

Top teen.

Anonymous said...

scranuspodium

Anonymous said...

1st clean rider.

Anonymous said...

BUM TAN

Anonymous said...

yeah

cycle

Anonymous Coward said...

Wait, that makes it sound like I'm a teen. nevermind.

NICE CRBN

boys on the hoods said...

top 10

boys on the hoods said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
3G said...

Top 20 balls on your nose!

Yarpo said...

Douche-plosion!!!!!

Anonymous said...

raging oyster erection. aww yeah. sure as hell ain't feces coming out as snob reads his own books.

Anonymous said...

KNEEL, YOU LOWLY DOGS. (ZOD)

Anonymous said...

Do the aero helmets ever perforate their ball sacks?

grog said...

20! Gangnam style.

boys on the hoods said...

That Korean bicycle cycling joke was probably even more fucking hilarious in Korean!!

Nardwuar said...

Doot doota doot doot...

Anonymous said...

That first bike -- "Never ridden" -- Was the crabon scrapped the moment the new owner pulled into the garage with the bike on the roof?

McFly said...

Tri-Dorks, SteamPunk, Old Timey Stuff...which is basically Hipster SteamPunk. This Posting has it all

Confusciuos say Never Scratch Itcy Butthole with Spring-Loaded 4 Pronged Stapler Remover.

Creamspunk Thursday is dah bermb.

wishiwasmerckx said...

I watched that triathlete video and laughed until I came.

They have never learned to zig-zag across a too-steep pitch? They never learned to turn the bike sideways across the hill to keep from falling over if they lose their forward momentum? Those guys are HOPELESS.

Why even devote that kind of time and effort if you never even master the most basic fundamentals?

P.S. - "aperient" I learned a new word today!

RB1 said...

its funny. i wonder how many of those riders had the right gearing for that hill. its silly, but most people would rather fall off their bikes than ride a triple crank.

Comment deleted said...

While I detest the constant group-obsoleting Shimano and the others foster, I am attracted (in theory at least) to electronic shifting. No cables! No frickin' "brifters"!

When it gets below $500 for a group, maybe I'll think about it.

McFly said...

Hey ZOD how were things on Krypton?

Comment deleted said...

Plus, it'll need to have a fail-safe that will allow me to limp home in an intermediate gear when it (inevitably) fails.

Rollie Fingers said...

You're right, titties ARE the pie plate of cliterature.

leroy said...

I would so totally rock that electronic shifting, if I knew my dog wouldn't bury the remote in the sofa cushions

McFly said...

Greatest. Video. Ever.

The guy with the Double Butt Cannon at 1:09 was crushing it. Beast Mode(tm).

Perry said...

What is this steampunk crap? Were there not already enough ways in this world to show your stupidity? And for a group of people who allegedly harken back to simpler times, they do sure seems to fancy unnecessarily complicated gimcracks (that's an arcane term for "bling" in case you didn't know).

Invisible Man said...

On the electronic gears, how can you be sure the next Fred's mechanism doesn't use the same wavelength? Plenty of scope for hilarious misunderstandings.

Comment deleted said...

I don't think steampunk is about "simpler", Perry.

Anonymous said...

No laughs for us poor Germans today because GEMA won't let us watch the videos ....

Aperient said...

Aperient.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Dr. Livingstone Recumbent Conspiracy Theorist, I presume?"

That tri-dork hill climb video was the bomb. Thanks for that. Right on RB1 -If I was racing in that event I would have calmly and smoothly downshifted to the granny gear of the triple crank on my roadbiking cycle and simply pedalled up the hill. It's not hard.

Anonymous said...

"If it's so cold he needs a balaclava then I'm not sure why he isn't wearing gloves."

WCRM,it's called embarrassment.

crosspalms said...

Leroy,
Or your dog might bring the remote along and shift your gears for you -- partway up a hill, perhaps.

Noooooooo said...

Gad damn it! I'm getting rid of my bikes (just the ones running SRAM).

McFly said...

They spelled Clitholde Douar wrong. It's ticky-tack on my part but needs to be corrected for historical posterity.

Yarpo said...

I saw a bumper sticker a while back that said, "Steampunk is what happens when Goths discover beige."

Tri-Dork disaster video: awesome.

SRAM Gangnam Style video: still cringing and trying not to vomit breakfast on the computer...

Did I dream this knuc-tat up?
KNLB 4ZOD
Don't know where that came from.

P. Bateman said...

man, those duders and duddettes certainly lived up to the SAVAGE part of the SAVAGEMAN part of the name of their little event. man that was savage.

funny that the cartoon SAVAGEMAN guy/character looks like a roided up Fred. Great imagery to aspire to in your own lame mind.

Gonna get all roided and JACKED up to win this race and then go home and beat the living SHIT out of my wife if i should lose.

I just imagine that is the internal dialogue one has before a SAVAGEMAN "race".

You know what else is SAVAGE? this mean, wife beatin' ass veggie soup i made. damn its good. my taste buds are being SAVAGED by it.

SAVAGE post today Snobukkah. YOU SHREDDED IT.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Clothilde...proto-beautiful Godzilla.

Anonymous said...

I'm holding out for electronic, wireless, remote-controlled Trotify.

television_writer said...

Duders!

Bluetooth shifting! I don't think it gets any better than that.

That's some awesome tech right there. Assuming it works, they just beat Shizmano to market a couple of different ways. WIPO takedown in 5,4,3,2,1.

Can someone explain the urgent need for 12 cogs in the back? I know it's 12 one better than 11, 3 (log) better than 9. Can people do special things with more than 9?

P. Bateman said...

by the way, electronic shifting is actually pretty keen. test rode a trek maboner 6.9 or something that had the Di2 and was actually pretty darn impressed.

and this coming from someone who really likes my old raleigh with its very quiet and smooth downtube shifting.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I'm not interested in Astonishing Steampunk Monocles unless they possess X-ray vision capability. I desire to see through walls and stuff.

Comment deleted said...

Actually, now that I think about it, I want an entirely steam-driven group.

erikbeng said...

I don't get it...is that hill slippery? Why do they all keep falling over? Why don't they just put their foot down...they do run part of this event, right?

vantage said...

They're tri-dorks...they don't know how to put their foot down.

Huh! said...

'Full TSA cavity search with complimentary nut sack jiggle' me Elmo

$499.99

recommended ages 1 to 97

mikeweb said...

I don't think a gust of wind blew out Clothilde's lantern. I think the fuel ran out because she was huffing the kerosene too much.

Anonymous said...

TRYathletes

plastik shoes no rubber no walk possibre

aero bars uphillen dbl cranx

savageman/woman is on my calindar now

siGMUnd FriED said...

Snob. Your blog posts are becoming to 'REAL' ...

You may be in the midst of a THC overdose.

The best thing to do in my opinion is to double up on your smokkee intake for the next three years and see how that goes. Have you considered a carbon neutral vaporizer? I've got one that looks like a real Glock 9mm. Shoots the vap right up the old naso. DUDE!

That'll be $499.99 ca$h. Due to the holiday season I'm not accepting discount coupons at this time.

Rollie Fingers said...

Those SRAM motherfuckers can't even dance right. If you're gonna jump on a trend like a month late, y'all BEST be NAILIN that shit.

babble on said...

Don't you mean "When you're riding your steampunk recumbent, you should be wearing ONLY a pith helmet?"

Walkin not Fallin said...

Anything over 20 percent or so I just get off and walk...I get to the top faster that way and the extra blood circulation while walking uphill does wonders for my SCRANUS.

Anonymous said...

As a purist I prefer KNLB FRZD, Yarpo, but I will admit I find the "4ZOD" config not without charms.

Thanks for asking, McFly, poxy freezing as per usual, and everything still shuts early, so glad I don't live there anymore. I'd have cut the trip short only for family commitments.

When I stepped into the first plate glass flying contraption flat cubey thing that was heading earthwards this morning, my mood improved greatly

Bartender! (ZOD).

jimboner said...

Such a relentlessly taxing day today, not even the Snob can cheer me.


plumbing.

Anonymous said...

The Tri Dorks were probably trying to climb in something like 39x21 because their egos, lack of biking experience, and endless time on the trainer gives them no insight into real biking conditions.
Just wait until they try to muscle up a difficult climb undergeared with a 12 speed chain

Anonymous said...

Those tri-dorks is funny!

12 speeds is stupid

SRAM has lost all of my little respect I had for them.

babble on said...

Maybe he's wearing a balaclava but not gloves cause he can't shift in gloves. Those shift buttons are pretty small...

Anonymous said...

That sram video makes me sad. I am know officially ashamed to say I race cross. Well at least I'm not a tri-dork trying to climb on a tt bike

babble on said...

Sorry to hear it, Jimboner. You know it's bad when the Snob doesn't bring a smile to your face.

Hope yer day gets better.

Buffalo Bill said...

My brother in law would totally fit in that video. He has one bike - a time trial rig with a 54-39 crank on it. The big ring should pretty much last forever.

Dooth said...

SRAM totally copied my podium victory dance!!!

Rollie Fingers said...

You know what's next don't you? Fully automatic transmission. Hook up a whatsit that tracks your cadence (crank revolution rate). Punch some buttons on a bar-mounted gewgaw to set the upper & lower limits of your acceptable range of pedaling cadences. When you exceed the upper limit, the thingamajig upshifts, and when you drop below the lower limit, it downshifts. Totally idiot-proof. Now you can ride a grown-up bike and you don't even need to know what the fuck you're doing. Freds will shit themselves over it. And Tridorx will finally make it up the hill. Has this been invented yet?

Jeffery 'Don't Call Me Jeff' Dahmer II said...

Tridorks are dry, tough, stringy and taste like epo.

Better in a crock pot on low than on the barbie.

vantage said...

DONE!

http://www.jensonusa.com/!YIeQiW0uHv-9coKkSU3FUA!/Sram-Automatic-2-SPEED-Freewheel-Hub?utm_source=FRGL&utm_medium=organic&gclid=CL3j9ICXmLQCFQtxQgodHF0AlQ

Hannibal Lecter said...

I prefer mine with fava beans.

*protracted slurping sound*

Anonymous said...

Mr. Bike Snob, at least some of the tri-dorks had the sense to fall down in the grass. And at least the Cyclo-dork video had a catchy little tune. Just trying to look on the bright side when there doesn't appear to be any.

Bret said...

I'm totally gonna rent some time in the wind tunnel and perfect my form. If I'm aero enough, I just know I'll scoot up that hill like nobody's business. It's all about being aero. I wasn't quite aero enough for that hill this time, but you just wait. Did I mention aerodynamics is the key? Aero.

Rollie Fingers said...

vantage - Nice, but them shits ain't EEE-lectronic, and everybody knows anything EEE-lectronic is automatically better! And it only has 2 speeds, whereas we simply, absolutely, MUST HAVE TWELVE. Fuck, I remember when 12 speeds TOTAL (2 chainrings times 6 cogs) was like this fancy-schmancy upgrade from 10.

babble on said...

I'm pretty sure I saw something about automatic transmission at the gran fondo this year...

Anonymous said...

It's in the Savage River National Forest; that is the origin of the name.

You can't simply pedal up that hill, even with a triple. Whatever gearing you have, it is still necessary to stand and grind.

It is difficult to zig-zag as the road is very cobbled and broken.

There is a youtube video of Dave Scott falling over there.

Anonymous said...

Being able to remote shift other riders bikes into different gears would sure make the TDF more interesting - just saying

vantage said...

Tri-dorks have enuf truble wid riding on two wheels. Give them 12 cogs in the back AND EEE-lectronic shifting and then what have you got ?
Idiots with too much money for their own good spending it on something they have no bidness being on in the first place.
Hell, the sleeveless vest and armwarmer attire alone deserves a swift kick to the fupa!

The Cipo Rules said...

Cipo always says "Finish with a Kiss", almost the same thing, but not in the same place.

Thomas Edison said...

Electricity and water don't mix, I wonder how the electric shifting does in the rain.

Anonymous said...

@ Anon 3:20:If that's indeed the case any sensible cyclist would dismount and portage the bike up the hill(even if walking in the grass is required). If the hill is so difficult that a world class biker can't do it then it is stooopid hard. Some of the hilly challenge rides around my area include a hill or two with 20+% grades and big riders snap their 11 speed chains (true story).

Anonymous said...

@anon 3:51
Yes, it is a silly contrived hill. There is an option to bike around and avoid it, but many like to give it a try anyway.

bikesgonewild said...

...this comment has been removed by the '...author...'...

...just sayin'...

Perry said...

I want a biofeedback-controlled electronic shi(f)ting system. That way, all I have to is think about changing gears, and voila.

mikeweb said...

I learned about automatic transmission in sex education class, and how to avoid it.

Comment deleted said...

Bret,

I think you just need a little more down-camber in your geometry. You're almost there.

Comment deleted said...

@Thomas Edison,
That's a big drawback to steam-powered groups, too -- lots of sizzling in the rain.

babble on said...

Sometimes a little sizzle is a good thing... like today:

CHRISTMAS PARTAAAAAY!!

McFly said...

One does not simply pedal up into Savage River National Forest....

Amazing Larry said...

So Snobbie! What's the latest skinny on the 'Fixed Gear Apocoalyptic Cliff'???

Anonymous said...

I'm two beats into that fucking gangnam style shit and I'm suddenly struck with a premonition of an enormous shark passing underneath you.
Bad juju on you.

JB said...

Did you know that Fonzi literally jumped a shark on Happy Days? Ahead of their time, I guess.

Rollie Fingers said...

Here's what happens to the unprepared in Savage River NF: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqNMjZpSbnU

You can pick up some automatically-transmitted stuff that way for sure.

Anonymous said...

Whatever you do, JB, don't have children.

Anonymous said...

A triple? I didn't know they sold those to men.
I do have a vintage 5 cog Suntour freewheel that required an accompanying special long cage derailleur.
I couldn't bear to change my 54/42 campy nuovo record crank.

Anonymous said...

Forgot to add that the large cog was a 38 tooth.

Needa plumberperth said...

Small bits of content which are explained in details, helps me understand the topic, thank you!


Master plumber

Comment deleted said...

Wow, Google..."Needa plumberperth" got through your "real name" requirement?

Of the Gardiners Island Plumberperths, I presume?

Anonymous said...

Generally speaking, is time loss resulting from a TT setup more or less than time spent on your back still clipped in? Just askin.

yyz113 said...

chortle @ "aperient" (had to google that shiz)

yyz113 said...

chortle @ "aperient" (had to google that shiz)

Cipo said...

"Every morning I take a stroll down to the seaside where I greet the local fishmongers and the merchants returning from the East with exotic trinkets and fragrances."

You buy your weed from seafarers?
That's old school, man. Massive respect.

Anonymous said...

I live in Chicago and those goddamn SRAM assholes do that Gangam Style shit all the time. One of the rep's wife works with me and she does that shit too and it pisses me off. Gangam style is played out, SRAM, get back to not designing an electric group.

CommieCanuck said...

Remote shifting.meh. Talk to me when I can shift in another country through a $800 mobile phone.
The gag potential is huge. Hack into the shifter remote frequency, switch every one to lowest gear while playing the Benny Hill theme. Cycling TV worth watching.

McFly said...

I talked my tri buddy into putting a 38 on in place of his compact 34. He said, "I want to do it myself, I think I can handle it."

He came by saying his shifting was acting "hinky".

He had put BOTH CHAINRINGS on the inside of the spider arms on the crank.

Hinky, indeed.

CommieCanuck said...

Anon 4:55, triples is for woosies, feebs, and the special olympics. Fausto Coppi did the whole TDF on 54-12. That was the granny gear. The world is getting warmer and softer.

CommieCanuck said...

Christmas PAARTAAAY!

Life rule #46, if you have to use the term "partay", you are too white.

Tri Climbers said...

"We'll climb that hill no matter how steep when we get up to it
Ooh we ride me high tomorrows the day my brides gonna come
Oh oh are we gonna fly down in the easy chair"

Anonymous said...

Going to China.

Any word on riding bikes there?

Looking for a Chinese Craigslist to purchase a flying pigeon for 100 Yuan or less.

CommieCanuck said...

That $4500 Pinny is a ripoff. You can see a fine scratch on the top tube.

CommieCanuck said...

In China, a" flying pigeon" is a tranny sex act. 100 yuan is about right.

J said...

Did you get the folder yet, snob?

Here's a folder with a titanium and carbon drive-train; tis the kind you like:

http://cdn.ternbicycles.com/sites/default/files/images/0/bikes/fold/2011/2012-tn-photo-verge-x20-fold-web.jpg

Anonymous said...

Mr. Bike Snob, after watching the Tri-dorks make idiots of themselves I watched the "Bike Fail Compilation, Part 1" video. "Freds" are simply embarassing; these guys should never be allowed to breed (after some of their stunts, some probabably won't be able to).

She said...

I know what it's like to be dead

Anonymous said...

I've been out of circulation for awhile. So, what's the going rate for a Pacific Rim Job with a double Hot Karl?

Skiptooth Lotus Eater said...

Crazy Tiso tunes. Thought it was a redux of Floyd's 'The Wall'.

Guy la Puck said...

Good thing that Toronto does not have an NHL franchise. They'd really be hurting what with the lock-out/strike/pissing contest/I know you are but what am I/douche' duel thingie.

Anonymous said...

Steam power, electric shifting, twelve speeds, electronic scanus massage, gruber assist...I'd spend real money on that combo.

McFly said...

CC,
54 grams of Methamphetamine and 12 liters of Charrdonay?

Anonymous said...

http://whatbikeracersshouldcallme.tumblr.com/post/36168028533/first-person-to-get-a-picture-of-themselves-winning-a

Poppa Wheelie said...

I find it offensive and pretty ridiculous that tri'athletes' perceive themselves as tough,
in any way shape or form.

Defective personality, unloved geeks with some deep seated need to prove and/or self redeem themselves.

Mamma love me!

Jed said...

True dat. Cringe? Nonsense gave me a full spinal shit-shiver.

Jed said...

True dat. Cringe? Nonsense gave me a full spinal shit-shiver.

Anonymous said...

krist almighty, where to begin.

today's column snobby is gold. GOLD.

i lauched. i cried. it was better than CATS.

something is wrong with me though, those crashing triathletes literally made me cry laughing. it was like spielberg's normandy invasion in saving ryan's privates, only with lycra and 4RPMs in a 42X21 tooth tall gear. silly triathletes.

10 minutes of opera clapping for you. thank you .

Emmy Collins said...

nice bike. and article. Celebrity Photos

Anonymous said...

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on the topic of blogging. thanks.
Here is my page : mac baren

babble on said...

CC - it's not a "have to" thing at all. And it's not white. It's pink.

as in ayhlmpc

Flammer said...

Tri-hards drift into their sport because they're not particularly good at anything. Obviously they didn't find their way to cycling via the MTB. Bike handling skills 3/10. Idiots.

I am in love. Tiso has stolen my heart from Campagnolo. True, it doesn't seem to have the same lithesome curves Vicenza breeds, but it's so exclusive. Italian and rare.

But what sort of Italian is this? What has the journey to the west done to Italians? Vergogna.

SRAM Red. Utter rubbish. The quality indicates that it's made from recycled fast food containers and beer cans. Appropriately American. Rode around Grenoble on an S-Works Roubaix with Red. Horrible. Climbed Alpe d'Huez on 105. Smoother and more reliable.

See, no obscenities or defamitory remarks about national peculiarities. Hardly worth the electricity.

babble on said...

HA!! Cyclists live longer

Knew it. You did, too, didn't you?

babble on said...

flammer - nicely restrained of you.

Anonymous said...

I drop a leave a response when I appreciate a post on a site or I have something to add to the discussion.
Usually it's a result of the passion displayed in the article I browsed. And on this article "Titles Are The Pie Plate Of Literature". I was actually moved enough to drop a comment :-P I do have 2 questions for you if it's okay.
Is it simply me or does it look like like a few of these
remarks appear like left by brain dead people?
:-P And, if you are posting at other places,
I'd like to keep up with everything new you have to post. Would you make a list all of all your social pages like your twitter feed, Facebook page or linkedin profile?
Stop by my web page - erinmore flake

ce said...

PSY's Korean ancestors composed the Macarena 700 years before it was picked up by the Spanish and popularised around the world.

bikesgonewild said...

..."...ayhlmpc..."...

...i'm down for that...be delighted...& i'm not a hater...

Anonymous said...

Luv the Pink!

Capital P very intentional.

AYHLBPC said...

Good thee sir knought Flammer: good one.

McFly said...

I studied hard for the quiz.

I was hard because I had been on Babble's Blogular.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Hey Babble you got the Clothilde Douar bicycling school teacher look down nicely! I like it.

vantage said...

and that gawdawful nortenea uum-pa-pa music was composed by mesicans way before the germans were invented.

Anonymous said...

I have never been confined to a mental hospital for having a large gut.

Anonymous said...

I have never thrown $4000 worth of cocaine out of an auto window.

Anonymous said...

The most fascinating part of this post was 'a pretty schoolteacher, aged 21'. 21?!?! (cue Mr. Lee Roth)

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