You know how I used to kinda care enuf to spell rite and use OK grammer and put those dot things at the end of sentences and also use commas? Well sorry, those days'r over cuz I dont give a fuck anymore about anything. I'm ofically becoming a nihilist--and an illitarate one at that! Here's why:
I saw this on Twitter and I was like, "What the fuck?!? So I went to school and I watch my credit and I pay my taxes and do all the other crap you're supposed to do and all this shit is a simulation? What a fucking ripoff!" I don't know about you, but I was operating under the assumption that there was a point to all of this, and that if I did my best over many lifetimes I'd eventually get upcycled into an enlightened Buddha-like being with a shitload of money and an awesome house and a sports car where the doors open up instead of sideways.
Apparently not.
Not only that, but you know who's looking into this theory now? Some people at Cornell University, which is like the MicroSHIFT of Ivy League schools:
In 2003, University of Oxford philosophy professor Nick Bostrom published a paper, "The Simulation Argument," which argued that, "we are almost certainly living in a computer simulation." Now, a team at Cornell University says it has come up with a viable method for testing whether we're all just a series of numbers in some ancient civilization's computer game.
Researchers at the University of Washington agree with the testing method, saying it can be done. A similar proposal was put forth by German physicists in November.
Glad the University of Washington concurs, and I'm sure it couldn't have anything to do with the easy access to legal marijuana they have out there. No doubt this brain trust of slackers and stoners will quickly get to the bottom of this universal conundrum.
And if you're wondering how they're going to do it, here's your answer:
"Using the historical development of lattice gauge theory technology as a guide, we assume that our universe is an early numerical simulation with unimproved Wilson fermion discretization and investigate potentially-observable consequences."
Yeah, no duh.
Then, once they confirm this is all a great big computer model, they're going to try to talk to the people who made it:
Interestingly, one of Savage's students takes the hypothesis further: If we stumble upon the nature of our existence, would we then look for ways to communicate with the civilization who created us?
I'm pretty sure that line of communication exists already, and it's called "LSD." A huge stoner like Savage should know this. Also, what's this nonsense about "communicating" with them? This is America! Let's find out who these bastards are and NUKE THEM for fuck's sake!
So how do you feel knowing that you're probably just a useless part of a fake universe created by some kid who was dicking around on a free computer in an intergalactic Apple store while waiting for some free porn to download? (Actually, maybe we are the porn.) And how do you feel knowing that that kid's universe is probably also a simulation, and that existence is merely an infinite circle-jerk of simulations within simulations within simulations within simulations and so forth? Are you just going to shrug it off and keep "foffing off" to your Strava? Or are you going to find out which highly evolved consciousness is ultimately responsible for this and make them pay dearly for wasting your time?
I mean, whoever's behind this must be pretty loaded. Maybe we can sue.
Anyway, speaking of collossal wastes of time, the Tour de France is going to Yorkshire:
You may know Yorkshire because of the eponymous pudding:
Although I only eat the kind of pudding that comes in pop form:
You may also know Yorkshire because of the stupid little dogs:
Which I mean, come on. What's the point of a stupider cat you have to take for walks?
But did you also know this?
"Yorkshire is a region of outstanding beauty, with breathtaking landscapes whose terrains offer both sprinters and attackers the opportunity to express themselves. We have encountered a phenomenal desire from the Yorkshire team to welcome the Tour de France and have no doubt that passion and support will be particularly evident for the Grand Départ of the Tour de France 2014.”
Yes, I love when sprinters express themselves:
(Sprinter Mark Cavendish expresses his nipple.)
As for the "outstanding beauty" claim, I conducted an image search using a popular search engine, and it's not too bad:
But who really cares, because it's all just a simulation anyway.
And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're not you'll see a short documentary about bicycles.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and give up on life like I have and spend the weekend drinking and crying.
--Wildcat WhateverwhocaresIcan'tbebothered....
(Doing what they do best.)
1) Nobody beats triathletes when it comes to:
--Swimming
--Biking
--Running
--Falling Downing
(Mavic's Mektronic derailleur doubled as an analog cellphone so you could call for help when it failed mid-ride.)
2) 12 speed? Electronic??? A remote control?!? Yes, thanks to:
--Shimano
--Campagnolo
--SRAM
--Tiso
(In the heyday of the fixie craze if you didn't have friends you could buy them.)
3) The bicycle was invented in Korea.
--True
--False
("This is going to be so cool in like 95 years.")
4) SRAM recently merged cyclocross with which tired pop culture phenomenon?
--"Gangnam Style"
--Autotune vocals
--"2 Girls, 1 Cup"
--That "race music" which captivates reefer addicts, suffragettes, and other undesirables with its throbbing jungle rhythms
(Bad Will Driving: Just one of the many ne'er-do-wells to be apprehended by Portland's finest over the years.)
5) Portland police have finally apprehended the:
--"Hipster bandit"
--"Tall bike buccanneer"
--"Rhinestone cowboy"
--Guy who made that SRAM video
6) What is this?
--A bike sauna
--A steampunk recumbent
--A human-powered meat smoker you can invest in via Kickstarter
--A trike that runs on flatulence
7) This is a steampunk sex doll vagina.
--True
--False
***Special Holiday-Themed Bonus Video Because Dogs!***
152 comments:
Podium?
Second, too?
Total podium whore?
Okay, I'll leave some table scraps for the rest of you to fight over...
tgif
Simulated.
so queek
doot doota loot doo ...
Hello peeps!
What is this place?
Utility cycling forever!
I sat out in my backyard last night and counted 53 shooting stars. Geminids Meteor Shower. Still pretty cool even if it was simulated.
nice 1-2
I must have given up already, cause I'm still drunk from yesterday's festivities...
AMAZEBALLZ
epo fail
Regarding the infinite regress of simulations..."daisy-chain" might be a more apt sexual metaphor than "circle-jerk".
suckas
Top twenty...I presume
You mean the guy who made that SRAM video's still at large?
That's some SAVAGE theoretical physics! Way to crush that hypothesis, dude!
I made the triathlete video more better: http://tubedubber.com/#EcqIgCJNjto:mML2fPec7xU:0:100:0:0:1
Is it me or does that bike sauna look like a giant vagina?
So how do you feel knowing that you're probably just a useless part of a fake universe created by some kid who was dicking around......
Duh! Figured it out at 38.
WIWM was just too fucking fast for me today, along with about twenty other people...I'll blame my imaginary Belgian mechanics. This Suitcase of Excuses is big and heavy.
Don't get depressed, Snobby. You've yet to drop a blogular encylical on queefing or gleet, so there's plenty to look forward to.
Thor is still real, doing circuits of Valhalla with his Best Made hammer stuck in his shirt where mere mortals keep their keys. Physicists just can't find a place for him in their "universe". Or their top 50?
Well if any of you pretend to care about the Dead Babys I am the original founder. Me. When I started the club it had nothing to do with bicycles except that they were how we got around when we weren´t walking. So back in the 90s in Seattle me and some friends were looking for a safe and relaxed place to hang out and jerk off. Like I mean in the real way of tugging on your knublet. So we started meeting in my step-dads garage for cars after he closed at night, just me, Piggy, the kid and ole Jack Merridew. So the club was about busting a load and chilling and grabbing a rack of Hamms, listening to some Tad and enjoying eachothers company in a sincere and honest way. Our philosophy was to spill as much seed as we could on the ground so like to reduce the population of the world and that is why we called it Dead Babys. Maybe we got some jizz on our bikes once in a while but we were never riding around all up in the air and shit. I think these dudes today saw our name and stole it and now people think the club is about something that it never was about. It was never about these whack looking bikes, it was about some young dudes communicating with eachother and being cool with our bodies and stuff and not having kids. Whatever.
tl;dr
Feelings are for jerks.
Snob, the universe is a simulation. It emits various impersonal phenomena which we sense and then interpret personally, much to our individual and collective detriment. But the personal interpretations don't have any relationship to the preceding impersonal phenomena except in our heads. Its all open to interpretation, no matter what the sky-god believers or even the scientists say. You're coy sometimes but its obvious you know that.
And there can be no beginning cause. If there's a beginning cause you can legitimately ask what the cause of the beginning cause is, and so on recursively until you need a potty break or want to look at some porn.
Life doesn't need a reason to be what it is. It just is what it is.
top 50
That's deep, Blog Drafter. And true, and so really the universe exists only in our minds.
Remember the genius of Miller and the Lattice of Coincidence? It's all part of the Cosmic Unconsciousness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4HQyqc-aVU
Remember also that The Circle Jerks said that We All Gotta Duck When The Shit Hits The Fan.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBQLGq8L2cY
Snob-strodamus' post today is chock-full of Repo Man allusions.
What does it all mean?
WIWM, one step for each leg ?
I'll be the first to say I don't know shit about bikes.
After reading this blog for several years, I feel I know and care less about anything to do with them.
I am, however, much more culturally attuned to the male anatomy, nooks and crannies of cycling culture, the nature of existence, time traveling, nekkid recumbent riders, and an (evidently) extremely sexually active readership who comment aggressively. My acronym knowledge must have at least doubled. I can name at least one professional Italian cyclist who has an obsession with eating pussy, and one who is dating a former page 6 girl.
This simulation has been awesome so far, I can't wait for the next OS update!
We are the porn.
All is good. NEO will save us from the simulation and re-establish free will.
I just ride my bike and try not to think about things too much. I wish it wasn't so cold out.
thanks for nothing biek sbon,
I haven't seen TITANIC,
I hadnt seen this, this, Gagnam style until today.
Horribre.
Oh cheer up BSNYC. Think of all there is to be grateful for in this simulation.
For example, the Acme Fish Company in Williamsburg sells retail on Friday mornings.
I rode over before work this morning and on the way out saw two guys pull up on bikes in full winter kits.
How can you not enjoy a simulation where you can buy lox direct from the factory while wearing lycra?
Ride safe all!
(P.S. -- thanks for the Rex and Edna Boil's Prairie Warehouse link. Holiday shopping for my dog just got easier.)
You can't spell simulation without sin. Let's get high and lick the kitty.
Nice Job wiwm. You ARE Merckx today my friend.
That Edna is a real riot. Rex seems like an asshole.
My mom has 2 Yorkies. One has to take medicine so he does not eat his own poop and the other has this nervous habit of licking the air incessantly.
Fuckin' weird ass dawgs man.
We can't nuke them, any more than Missile Command (that was a game) can nuke us. To get even with them for activating us we have to figure out how to hack and drain their bank accounts.
Trebeck, as someone who took the red pill, thanks for the Coles/Clif notes version of the last 5 years. Everyone else here's taken the blue pill, so filth it up a bit if you want to get your point across
Edna Boil cannot be mathematically simulated; this is prima facie, a priori evidence that we are not living in a Sim City and that life "matters". I leave it up to youse guys to say whether this is good or bad.
I'm trying to simulate a little peace of mind these days.
Just sitting here stunned at today's events about 8 miles from where I grew up.
So senseless and horrible...
You're right. It's absolutely horrifying...
Thank God you have Second Amendment. Now all you need is more guns. This never would have happened if the kids were packing heat.
I saw this morning some whack-o in China went into a school and stabbed a bunch of the kids and one adult with a knife.
Hate is everywhere and it sucks.
Thanks snob now we're all depressed. I guess I'm just gonna get drunk too.
Xlnt quiz question wrong answer video! No really; The mysterious circumstances, a walk down memory lane with those old bikes in remarkable condition, (wingnuts!). Best of all, the thoughtfull narrators funny accent, (you guys really talk like that back there?), and many assumptions and confessions. So much to like. Gonna go watch it some more
I had forgotten all about Edna Boils! Thank you for the Christmas miracle.
Snobbles,
Re todays blog post ...
I found your spondeeifacation precise, concise, and if I might add, quite, quite, simulating.
Simulation? Pointlessness?
Nihilism? Rough Sex?
What?
wishiwasmerckx please report to the pee pee testing tent IMMEDIATELY!
Oy, Recumbent. China?
Look closer to home.
Connecticut. This morning.
OMFG.
If it's a simulation I don't have to explain the dead hookers in my car trunk anymore.
Tilford ponders another toothy problem of our society.
Yer crazy, ya hoser.
Ya know, it's hard to laugh today.
CT
Yep. It's mind-boggling what we humans do to one another.
Where is the love?
No joy in Doothville.
Never mind what I said before. Shit's fucked up.
lobster drawn goat butter virginal moist panties
or was that vaginal?
guess i'll save my smartassness for another, brighter day.
what the fuck is going on? something is seriously askew in the world lately.
have a good, SAFE weekend.
Holy shit mikeweb - you talkin about Newtown? Where'd you grow up then? Shelton for me. Two towns over.
Lot of shootings lately. Anybody starts shooting near me, let me introduce myself: I'm that one guy running TOWARD you instead of away. The adrenaline should allow me to take a couple before I break your nose with my head. Pussy. (No offense Babs.)
WTF, "Roillie?" That's ROLLIE FINGERS, motherfuckers.
Babble 1:50. Too soon. Inappropriate.
Wildcat WhateverwhocaresIcan'tbebothered.... Recumbabe is real.
****ATTENTION wishiwasmerckx****
Your Floyd Landis tribute today was utterly & frankly quite the AWESOME!
Honk if U R Mennonite too?
What would we all be and do without the el dopo on a ropo?
HELLO! McFLY!!!
Where's me fook'in homework! It's due today!
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@Rollie,
Grew up in New Milford, lived in Danbury, briefly Newtown and then of all places, Shelton during the 90s before moving down to the big Dirty.
One of my favorite rides was a '6 town' loop that would take me past the crazy Newtown flag pole in the middle of the road and down Church ave. and left toward the river right next to where that school is.
My dog ate it. I been following him around but all I have gleaned is a red bologna ring and 18 cents.
...i happened to be looking up, out & across the sf bay last night & saw the brightest meteorite i've ever seen in my life...
...i said "...wow, did you see that ?!?!?!..." & a friend's reply was "no but you gotta make a wish"...
...whilst being a bit conflicted in coming to terms with 'developments' in my life, without hesitation, my subconscious reaction was "...i want peace in my life..."...
...wasn't even a conscious thought...
...in light of today's news, were that i'd not been so selfish...
...i'd wish for peace in everyone's life...
Shityeah I remember that flagpole, though I only ever saw it from the backseat of my folks' car.
Well said bgw.
War is part of the landscape. There was a war god on Olympus. It's not pleasant, but when it happens to you, it's better to win.
Will the circle be unbroken / By and by lawd by and by / There's a better home a waitin' / In the sky lawd in the sky
yeah nice BGW, and others.
I can't help but think of the presents already wrapped, some warmed by the fireplace in stockings, unopened. Of course, a few might be shooter games.
MERY XMAS
Tiso horney.
Me love you long time.
Adding to the somber note, today I stumbled upon ghostbikes.org. Kinda gets to me...
@bgw,
Very well said, my friend.
And yes, in life there is good and there is evil, both must exist for either to, but in each person's heart, good must win out. It must win out...
Vietnamese working girl:
Soul brother to beaucoup
Words of advice.
When referring to something BIG or small. Please use the term shit-ton or butt-hole size, respectively.
Regards.
...to lighten the mood, shall we say in anon 5:21pm's terminology - "...we need to build up a shit-ton of good & cut evil down to butt-hole size..."...
...just sayin'...
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Mr. Bike Snob, I can't remember the title of the episode, but check out Star Trek; Next Gen episode with Dr. Moriarty. Maybe that is where they got the idea for the universe being a simulation. Trust me, if you watch it, it will explain a lot. Think about it, those same PhDs who are testing the simulation theory are the ones dressing up like Spock or Klingons (no not the failure to wipe ones) and paying to go to Star Trek conventions. "Live long and prosper!"
The apocalypse is on everyone's minds and it's causing a shit-ton of problems over what will prove to be a butthole-sized event.
(As opposed to Butthole-sized, which would be roughly as big as Gibby Haynes.)
Tell you what though, if I'm the porn in this simulation, I better step it up a notch. Enjoy the weekend extra-much everybody.
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What really shits me about A-merican politics is the gutlessness of every pressure group EXCEPT right wing CUNTS who love tax cuts for the wealthy and fucking automatic weapons.
I don't blame them, because in a democracy you push and shove to get your agenda legislated.
No. it's the rest of you feckless, whining non-participants in the system. You are the pathetic, passive tossers who pray for peace and the families of the grieving.
TAKE AWAY AUTOMATIC AND SEMIAUTOMATIC WEAPONS YOU CRETINS.
I grew up hunting and fishing. Automatics are UNSPORTING. Fill the air with lead and the animal can't escape.
Your right to bear arms is ludicrous. As if you could defend yourselves against a real tyranny.
Now get of your fat arses and demand change. Fuckwits.
Just drove through the local Christmasesque lit up park with sweetness and the kids (she insists they are mine) and came back home and let them open one gift.
I could not help but think about all of those un-open gifts under trees in Conneticut and the heartache that is caused from just seeing them by devastated Mommies and Daddies.
Why thank you Flammer. I think I'll rant in the comment section of bike blog. That'll show 'em.
Oh screw it. My heart just isn't in it. Have a good weekend.
Mr. Fingers, you may be too young to remember it, but my first apocalypse was the cold war. People were fearful of the idea that Soviet ICBMS would come raining down on us at any moment and life would end as we knew it. Y2K came along and people were fearful because everyone knew the computers would fail and life as we knew it would end. Now we have a fiscal cliff that we are all going to fall over and civilization as we know it will come to an end. One of the things that clears my head and soothes my soul is a bike ride. Always. I’ve ridden through the ICBMs, Y2K, and now I will ride past the fiscal cliff. Please ride on.
...so, flammer...when you get tired of that job stuffing 10 pounds of shit into 5 pounds bags down at the factory, you could always come to america & express your righteuos indignation of what you see by volunteering to disarm the automatic weapons crowd...
...you know, the "...i'll give up my full auto heckler & koch hk416 when you pry it out of my cold dead hands !!!" bunch...
...they're pretty emphatic about their constitutional "right to bear arms" dealy, so you will be busy...even IF you change the constitution...
One thing that's missing from your picturesque photo of Yorkshire is horizontal slashing rain and unending greyness.....
Oh, and some dark satanic mills.
hey nonny mouse
Good one Flammer. Hey dude, do you, like, have your own blog?
Think I'll go to Prospect Park and pretend I'm doing a slow recovery ride.
The recovery part will be pretend.
The slow will be real.
Baby back, Baby back, baby back ribs.
So Flammer. Automatic weapons kill. Not psychopathic lunatics on psychotropic meds?
So following this train of logic it is the car that kills not the drunken driver?
Outlaw all cars man!
PS - I used to hunt deer with a cat man.
Outlaw all cats!
Beryl Burton was from West Yorkshire.
Capital of the North
Chocolate City
(Take that, Washington, D.C.)
'Let the Banner of York Fly High'
Dear Hitler, if you are unable to distinguish between the social utility of cars versus automatic weapons, might I suggest you enroll in a class in critical thinking at your local community college?
Thank goodness it's easier for crazy people to get health care than assault riles up here in America's crown chakra.
For ages now, I've notices that life is always better when I count my blessings, when I look for beauty, when I look for reasons to be happy instead of looking for reasons to complain.
Today, in the wake of yet another senseless tragedy, I will look for the people who are out there helping, trying to make it right again, trying to uplift their fellow shocked sufferers.
And I will pray that as a global community we can come together to create a civilisation which honours all of us.
Praise Lob, let us make it so.
leroy, I did the same thing today, jinky elbow and all. It's feeling better, btw.
babble, from.your lips to lobs ears my dear.
Ms. Babble On. Nicely said.
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...our friend babble on has a way with understanding, not just words...
...were that there more minds like hers in this world full of people "...of faith..." yet so few honest beliefs & actual good intentions...
...i feel like through bsnyc, a site ostensibly about cycling, a lot of us were able to reach out & give & get a bit of the hug we all seemed to need in light of what transpired...
...for those who cared to share, thank you...
Uber high colonic mango-date-fig mega colon-blast!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Is anybody else around here abouts interesting in doing a little exploratory brain surgery on small furry mammals using only a Leatherman multitool and a tire iron?
...i think even leroy's dog was in on that 'group hug'...
...now THAT is a 'shit-ton' of "...omg..."...
Mr. Bike Snob, the Star Trek Next Generation episode I referred to earlier is season 6, episode 12 "Ship in a Bottle." it is all about simulations.
So is The Matrix.
Damn,FLAMMER. Where you from, boy? Ain't no huntin' with a full auto here in Canada's grab bag o' bullets! Full auto is for personal protection. 'Cuz if the man comes for ya cuz he don't like yer politiks, he ain't comin' with the PTA. You sound like somebody that likes the man. You from Chicago?
So I pedal over to my pop-n-laws cause he got a guy that be workin' fo him that is pretty awesome at stealin' moves off the internets and placing them on compact disks.
And what lies before on the counter(he just gets random stuff from him) but none other than Premium Rush?
I got Alex Cross and the new Bourne movie.
(OK I got PR too but wanted to sound cool) Bikes and stuff.
I love the smell of ovulating bamboo and Panda jizzum in the morning!
When polled 3 out 4 dentists agree that 75% of all dentists lie during polls!
wishiwasmercx-you need to take the critical thinking course. Read his post again without your anti-gun bias.
Miss Babble on, Try the Star Trek episode. It's not like "the Matrix." The simulation sits on a desk.
...naveed qumer...i enjoy fast cars...i was raised around them...although not 'exotic', i have one & i do enjoy seeing & reading about them BUT you couldn't pay me to open your site...
...you are an interloper with no interest in bsnyc whatsoever other than your own self-interest...
...please go away...don't come back...
After watching Premium Rush I can honestly say that this movie has done for cycling what Days of Thunder did for NASCAR(speaking of fast cars).
When the Great Richard Petty was interviewed about Days of Thunder in comparison to the real thing he tipped his hat back and in his long southern drawl said,
"Wellllllllll, their cars have numbers on them.....and our cars have numbers on them. That's about all I got."
Bikesnob rides around in that stretched Rolls. Speaking of expensive cars.
FLAMMER Go fuck yourself, you fucking idiot. You are a fucking liar. NO automatic weapons are allowed for hunting. Semi-auto is not "fill the air with lead so the animal can't escape." Good grief, you are fucking retarded! Where is that legal? Where has that ever happened legally? Hell,illegally? Your totally uninformed post about guns not being able to stop tyranny is unbelievably stupid! We're stopping it right now, fucktard!Why do you think the gov doesn't want concealed carry? Go back to the basement,asshole.
Never bring a fixie to a gun fight.
Hahahaha when I try to type fixie this ipad auto corrects to fixit.
Good one, McFly.
The Chinese restaurant on 30th W that is located right next door to the 'Hip Atomic Power Enema Center for the Preforming Bowels'. Be forewarned. DO NOT ORDER THE POO POO PLATTER!
Yo flammer. here's a simulation for you. You're on your knees. A 'murican has his cock out. and a gun to your head. What do you do? You know what. Because you already know how. And you're not gay. Just a coward. No guts. No integrity. Swallow it all, bitch. And then he shoots you anyway.
Oh wow. There is a scene in Premium Rush where a messenger rips a brake off, calls it a piece of shit, and throws it down the street.
This after crashing because she could not stop.
Its like pulling your belt off and slingin' it because it would not keep your pants up and your dumbass did not have it in the right hole.
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Hello! McFly!
In the future I marry your mom and force her to get plastic teats. AWESOME!
Ain't life GREAT!
Now Biffffffffffffffff...
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...really ???...well, isn't that nice ???...
...how about you give us a detailed description of exactly how it was useful to you & how it helped you...
...personally, i'd love to know...
I thought this blog was about bik.es and bicycling. Hmmmmm
Anon 1:03, up late jacking off while holding your gun again?
I rode a road bikecycle Saturday. I rode a mountanious bikecycle today. I watched a gay-ass movie about messenger culture and how they will band together like so many Visigoths when their back is against the proverbial wall.
I did my part. Bikes and stuff.
Damn the spampedo's.
What type of gun would Jesus buy?
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So now I know how the gun lobby think and 'write'. Some of them may have actually been to school for a little while.
So these halfwits are all you're up against? What's stopping you? Or is it just too fucking hard?
Oh, that's right, A-merica has the lowest voter turnout in the developed world.
Just spent two hours finding a spoke nipple that popped off my Fulcrum Zero 2 way rear wheel. Just sayin'.
...just how into "...anal - cranial inversion..." are you, flammer ???...
...i mean, really, dude ???...
Babble can find a nipple way, way, way quicker than that.
I look for nipples all the time.
Anon 1:03: Yo mama? That's all you got?
Thank you for so eloquently proving my point that gun nuts are absolute cretins.
We all know what comes next: you threaten to come to my home town and shoot me...
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