Thursday, September 20, 2012

Premium Lounge: Can't Try, Don't Want To

The 47% strikes again!  Yes, a reader informs me that some non-taxpaying layabout (probably an illegal from Canada) has stolen a small portion of a crappy bicycle owned by a hard-working semi-wealthy American:



***To the asshole who stole my rear tire (Fuji Odessa MTB Bike)*** - $80 (Penn Quarter Navy Memorial)
Date: 2012-09-20, 9:12AM EDT

This is just a message to the person who decided to take off the back tire from my Fuji Mountain bike parked between the Navy Memorial. It is so pathetic that you had to steal something I paid for so that you could make 20 bucks in order to buy drugs and a few items off the dollar menu. Luckily I make a comfortable 6 figure salary and can easily afford a new one. What makes me laugh is that you are probably receiving benefits from the government which is helping keep shit like you alive. While you were removing my tire over the weekend I was relaxing on the beach in East Hampton, enjoying fresh caught oysters and clams. See we rich people get to enjoy these pleasures in life because we worked hard in college to get good high paying jobs. I have owned that bike for about 10 years and it had sentimental value to me. I purchased it off craigslist from a nice family in Vienna during grad school when I did not have a lot of money. I took it to the Shenandoah mountains and I used it to get groceries. Rather than replacing the parts that you stole I would rather get rid of it as it would be a constant reminder of how bad people in the world exist. Luckily I will be moving to Boulder Colorado where these types of things don't happen. Anyways have a great day mother fucker. I hope you die a tragic tragic death.

To others who are reading this. The bike is in great condition otherwise. Shifters work well, brakes work well. It is a light bike and the frame is in great condition. I would have otherwise kept this bike for the rest of my life. If you would like to purchase it still just remember that you will have to replace the back wheel/cogs.

This is a grave injustice indeed, and the victim deserves a reply:

***To the asshole whose rear "tire" was stolen***

This is just a message to the person to let you know that a tire is the rubber thing filled with air that goes around the round metal spokey thingy, and not the metal spokey thingy itself.  I suppose it's possible that someone removed the rear wheel from your stupid Fuji, dismounted the tire, and then reinstalled the wheel for you, but it's highly unlikely--and if he did then he must have needed the tire so badly that it's almost forgivable.  Either way, calling a wheel a tire reveals you to be clueless, like going into a nice restaurant and ordering "vinegar-ette" instead of vinaigrette, which you probably do as well.  By the way, a six-figure salary is nothing these days, and I don't know how you could possibly consider any salary under a million dollars to be "comfortable."  While you may boast about slurping down oysters in East Hampton I can assure you that to me and my fellow billionaire friends it's about as impressive as scarfing a cardboard box full of Nathan's fried clams on the Coney Island boardwalk.  My friends and I prefer our seafood endangered, like when we eat whale sushi on the deck of my yacht off the coast of Martha's Vineyard with the corpses of John-John Kennedy and Carolyn Bessette. (We keep them in the wine fridge.)  Also totally "LOL"-ing over the "sentimental value" thing.  Real rich people don't have sentiments.  Why don't you get a proper douchebag's bike, like a Budnitz?

Love,

Willard Mitt Romney

PS: I've been to that grocery store in the Shenandoah mountains and it sucks.

That man really knows how to connect with the people.

By the way, if the oyster-slurper doesn't want to spring for a Budnitz he could always get himself a used Cannondale, as forwarded by another reader:



Cannondale - $899 (New Springville)
Date: 2012-09-18, 9:08AM EDT

3 years old, well kept Cannondale Aluminum crafting and CAAD10 DNA lightest-in-class frame. Maverick wheel set, includes clip tow paddles.


Maverick wheels and the clip tow paddles?  That's what I call a non-brainer!  I'd peel the trigger on this one immediately.  All that's missing is the healment and you're all set!

Meanwhile, the Second Biennial Cock-Off contest (sponsored by Knog, the Crocs of blinky lights) is heating up like fleas on a burning cat.  You may recall that yesterday I mentioned this entry and then speculated as to whether or not it actually qualifies as a cockpit:


Well, I've since consulted the dictionary, and after spending 20 minues looking up all the dirty words and giggling (this one's still my favorite) I then got around to reading the definition of "cockpit " which is as follows:


Clearly, the above entry conforms to at least two (2) of the above, since:

1) It is indeed "a space or compartment" in a "small vehicle" from which it is "steered, piloted, or driven;"

and

2) You could totally hold a cockfight in there.

Therefore, by the authority vested in me by my magical Mormon underpants and my studded leather yarmulke, I hereby declare the yellow laundry basket cockpit to be eligible for a Cockie.  May it please the Almighty Lobster On High, et cetera, yadayada, blabbityblabbity, and so forth.

(I should also mention at this point that if the contest comes down to a tie then I will determine the winner by means of a cockfight.)

And needless to say, this cockpit is also fully valid:


Here the owner uses tape and cardboard to stunning effect, and while it's difficult to make out the details I'm fairly certain the bicycle is equipped with at least two pairs of handlebars and two pairs of brake levers:


As for the electronic device embedded in the console, I'm not sure what that is, but I suspect it might be a scientific calculator.

Then there's "A Cockwork Orange:"


Here's the backstory:

The photo was taken yesterday, in Auckland, New Zealand.

Down here, we don't have a bicycle cycling culture providing the necessary creative backdrop for truly transcendent cockpit artistry.

But what we lack in imagination and technical wizardry we make up for with practical, single minded focus.

Perhaps this submission could be considered in a safety-themed competition subcategory.

Sadly, I was unable to capture a picture of the rider, who was dressed head-to-toe orange, including orange spray painted shoes.

Subcategory?  No, I'd go so far as to say this is potential best in show material, which is warranted on the wiring alone


Not to mention the sheer candlepower:


Just imagine a New Zealander in spraypainted clown shoes coming at you like some crazed Ronald McDonald, his cockpit blindingly aglow with sheer cockpitular brilliance.

Too ostentations?  Well then perhaps you'd prefer something more subtle, like this entry from Matt of Bikehacks:


GoPro, SchmoPro.  The true auteur prefers a full-sized camera with a tiny bike attached.

Speaking of cameras, still another reader tells me that former Digital Photography Enthusiast cover model the time-traveling t-shirt-wearing retro-Fred from the planet Tridork Bret has landed a sweet new spokesmodel gig:


It's no surprise to learn that WD-40 are spending big bucks for the best in the business, since recently they've been courting the cycling market aggressively and are even sponsoring everybody's new favorite pastime, cyclocross (the Jens Voigt of cycling disciplines):


You've probably heard the Chris Rock routine about Robitussin.  Well, traditionally WD-40 has been the Robitussin of bike lubes in that it's something clueless people just spray all over everything until the bike gets quiet.  Now though it seems they're trying to go more "upmarket" with the product, though everybody knows you're only supposed to use bike-specific boutique lubes that cost more per volume than designer fragrances even though they're really just motor oil mixed with kerosene.

In any case, it's only a matter of time before the Vice Grip people get in on the act, since locking pliers are the preferred (and indeed only) tool in the inept mechanic's arsenal:


Incidentally, I came across the above picture just before I opened the Cock-Off submission from the Bikehacks guy, which is the sort of coincidence that is clear proof of the existence of God and that endless bloody wars should be forever fought in His name.

Amen.

Anyway, I look forward the day when cyclocross gets to the point where pit mechanics will just spray the crap out of the bikes with WD-40 and then work them over ham-handedly with the Vice Grips.

Lastly, from still yet another reader comes this article which confirms something everybody already knew:


Which is that people in Portland "don't want to try:"


"I'm pretty content being able to support myself on a minimum-wage job," said Deanna Horton, 22, who graduated in May from Lewis & Clark college in Portland and is now working the front desk at a science museum. Horton doesn't have a driver's license, but she said the only time she's ever felt she needed one was when she moved across town.

A transplant from Syosset, N.Y., on Long Island, Horton said she'd love to have a more challenging and fulfilling job — but not enough to give up on a city that supports things like a neighborhood tool library, which gives residents free access to a wide variety of tools for carpentry, home improvement and gardening.

"I feel like my job prospects in other places would be really good," she said, looking over the top of her Apple computer at the popular Stumptown Coffee. "But I don't want to try."


It's good to see that people are now just simply "dropping out" without wasting a bunch of energy on the "turning on" and "tuning in" parts.


112 comments:

Serial Retrogrouch said...

ding dong

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Podium recumbent

sherpa said...

podium?

Serial Retrogrouch said...

having a good week because there's no scranus to do in the cubicle.

Kenny said...

AND THAT'S HOW A BILL BECOMES A LAW!

Charles said...

Top 10, now to go back and read....

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

Sex?

Anonymous said...

present

cycle

leroy said...

Is anyone doing the Escape New York Ride this weekend?

My dog was supposed to ride with me, but he's been muttering about checking with his probation officer.

McFly said...

I want to dedicate this top ten to BGW. And also to me. May all your shorelines be vaginal.

leroy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Asshole said...

I did not spend the $20 on drugs. I spent it on a blowjob.

Mittens said...

To the asshole whose tire was stolen, good luck with that Boulder thing, six figures doesn't get you a condo in a basement. You will fit in with the other whiney trust fund kids, next time hire somebody to watch your bike like I do. Just don't come out to LaJolla, or I will have you crushed in my multistory car garage.

Screw you you 47 percenter, you peasant.

Jimboner said...

oba!

grog said...

Poor little Willard.
Thanks for the cockpit show.
MORE BABE

Anonymous said...

Garbage Barge!

I am a sad engine said...

Let me get this right, long boring story, and then throw out a 300.00 bike because you don't want to buy a 50.00 wheel and tire? Proves again that there is no intelligent life on Craig's List. So Sad. Next time don't tell the story, buy a new bike and donate the old bike to some needy inner city charity.

http://www.chicagobikes.org/public/donations.php

DPG said...

I can't believe the guy with the Clockwork orange bike bothered to lock it up. All the valuable bits are easily removed. I bet you can snag a light off that thing and the owner wouldn't even notice for a week....

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

Well yeah sure, I'd love to be the head of your very popular internet company. The $750k salary, company car, first class travel and 8 weeks vacation a year sound great. Stock options!!!! Really nice. Just one question...


...does your city have a tool library?

theEel said...

weed.

Anonymous said...

TLDR.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

i thought for a second that a tool library is where 'tools' go and hang out, drink coffee and play with their iphones.

leroy said...

My dog swears he would never steal a Fuji wheel.

He claims he's on probation for a drunk and disorderly charge.

He figured all religious days of atonement had to be preceded by some form of Mardi Gras. He rode down Bedford Ave. in Williamsburg, tossing strands of beads to the locals.

I just hope he wasn't arrested for shouting at some alter kocker to show him his breasts.

babble on said...

I have a vaginae, and I'm pretty sure it's not pronounced like that.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Cocklights.

Anonymous said...

my magical Mormon underpants and my studded leather yarmulke

You really should post a photo of that.

We the People said...

BO,
We have seen the nipple...the vaginae we have not.....

mikeweb said...

Hey everyone, let me know if anyone needs a shitty 10 y.o. 26" wheel. I 'came across' one while visiting DC over the weekend.

leroy, I'll be doing the NYCC ENY, FWIW - LOL. And I'll be riding a bikecycle almost exactly like the one in my avatar photo, except with newer rims.

Tell your dog that's what he gets for being a convicted felon like Don And Larry King are.

Anonymous said...

Portland...

Fuuuuck me.

What a hole in the culture that place is.

A deep well of shallow.

Hungry Panda said...

What is with the plastic bottles with nipples on that yellow bike, some sort of cosmic hydrogen generator?

Anonymous said...

The yellow cockpit is not an NYC yellow cab, it's a Caterpillar D9 bulldozer, which can move several times its weight in milk and babies.

On the orange bike, are those water bottles in the front or Tomahawk missiles?

Anonymous said...

Mr, Retro,
Good one. I laughed. Credit where credit's due.

Anonymous said...

Isn't WD-40 a solvent, not a lubricant?

Anonymous said...

Babble on, you must be more of a woman than I ever imagined,for "vaginae" is plural of "vagina," and with leg muscles like yours, I am not sure that the commentariat can handle a singular, much less multiples.

Daniel said...

I think the water bottles on the orange 'bright lights, big city' bike are to power an air horn.

Anonymous said...

clockwork orange kinda reminds me of a jumping spider
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rainforests/5159424242/

wishiwasmerckx said...

CrossVegas report: Jeremy Powers lives up to name; powers away from field and solos home with a whopping 19 second margin of victory.

New girlfriend, who has never seen a cycling event before, immediately declares that the striped Rapha skinsuits are her favorite, confirming that no straight man should ever don one.

In the women's race, winner Sanne Van Passen has such a bulbous pudendum that even her chamois cannot disguise it. Quite a sight.

leroy said...

Mikeweb -- what a coincidence, I too will be riding a bike (probably wearing a Fat Cyclist jersey if it's back from the dry cleaners and properly starched). I'll keep an eye out for you.

babble on said...

nonny@ 1:42 - But the rider's creed includes the "always carry a spare" tenant. And I am nothing if not law abiding. ish.

babble on said...

I'll ride with you, Leroy, if your dog promises to yell at all the women to show us their boobs.

He's sure to get lucky sooner or later.

crosspalms said...

Last year I foolishly left the lights on my bike when I parked at work, to the delight of Fuji wheel thief's Chicago cousin. I should have sold the lightless bike in a whiny rage, but no, I used my comfortable five-figure salary to keep Planet Bike afloat to the tune of 2 blinkies instead. Now I know better.

McFly said...

Bret would use WD40. It's a huge misconception that its a good lubricant. It's way more of a penetrant. Get something teflon based Bret. Just put that WD on your new Ultegra chain and see what happens. "Hey it's all crunchy now."

Anonymous said...

That rear stolen tire essay sounds like it was writtn by none other than J. Peterman.

Max said...

I always use WD-40® to unstick my nuts and bolt after a long ride.

Paul Bowen said...

"sheer cockpitular brilliance"

Sheer blogular brilliance.

That Portland piece at the end has given me a new way to think about how I've lived my life - I essentially finished school and retired, then started a career aged 40. Really. Fucked up, but it's been fun.

CommieCanuck said...

The WD40 ad has an arrow straight to the scrotanus with "unlocks nuts".

WD40 for vasectomy reversal? Is there anything WD40 cannot do?

WD40 is a water displacing detergent. PFU stuff for any application, might was well use PAM cooking spray. I'm sure there is a German fetish porn site dedicated to this.

Fran said...

Good to see Bret, and good for him landing that WD40 sponsorship !

leroy said...

Babble on -- my dog is an enthusiastic student of etymology and the subject you broached earlier. He asked me to to tell you "yes, yes it is pronounced that way."

I'm sure he'd love to ride with you.

Unfortunately, I don't think he'll be getting to Vancouver anytime soon.

He had an unfortunate incident with a moose and the RCMP have him on a watch list.

(I should also note that although my dog has been known to direct his mishegoss at alter kockers and yeshiva buchers, he would never yell at a woman. That's just bad manners.)

Serial Retrogrouch said...

WD40 deez nuts!


and vaginae.

Anonymous said...

It's hilarious that you show that photo of the red-and-white tape/cardboard cocker, and then post it again just slightly bigger immediately after because you want people to be able to see what's in the picture. (A few more iterations and you can re-enact the photo blow-up scene from "High Anxiety".)

Jan! said...

"Wildlard Rom Mittney", now that is a name worthy of a president.

mikeweb said...

Another thing about the WD40 ad. Bret looks to be running a Maverick wheel set also. Or perhaps Head.

CommieCanuck said...

Paul Ryan can use WD40 as a lubricant.

McFly said...

Perhaps head, indeed.

RANTWICK said...

RCT, with 'bent Podium! Can't be a Gran Fondo, I guess!

Congrats!

Also, everybody should enter MY contest, in which you don't really win anything.

If you live in a place with no trees, you may not enter. Also trees must be upright. No recumbent trees.

Anonymous said...

Does "safety bike" get double points for accessing the other cockpit with its mounted catheter reservoir? Cant see if its routed internally though...

babble on said...

Leroy - tell him not to sweat the RCMP. Turns out the Canadian government, the judiciary, AND the police are all working for the mob.

All yer dog has to do it slip someone a bit of dosh and bob's yer uncle... he's in like Flynn. This solves the greatest mystery of the new millennium. We finally know how Robba the Fords won that civic election.

Anonymous said...

Hey Leroy. My dog says FUCK your dog. Enough already, it's not cute. According to my dog. He said that. He can talk all sassy like that because bla bla bla I just hope the police yadda yadda who cares?!?

Anonymous said...

1 question and 2 comments: 1)what is it with "Kenny" and his catchphrase? 2) the ONLY valid purpose for WD-40 is displacing moisture [okay, maybe for loosening "frozen nuts" (don't laugh; serious comment)], 3) any empathy for Fuji-flinched-wheelset boy evaporated when he continued on with his self-serving rant, and then wished a misdemeanor thief a tragic [x2] death! I'm sure your oyster-munching colleagues have found out that you are a self-centered jerk.

Rollie said...

WD-40 isn't just a crappy substitute for something more specialized, it's designed to REMOVE LUBRICANTS. Isn't it?

Also it's spelled Vise Grip since it's not a self-defense move invented by Don Johnson. And I beg your pardon, the inept mechanic's toolbox has TWO tools. The other too (actually the primary one) is a hammer.

Rollie said...

tool, I mean

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I beg to differ anonymous sir, WD-40 with the extended red spray straw and a bic lighter also makes an excellent flame thrower.

Anonymous said...

Oops, sorry! Entered my comment regarding WD-40 before reading all the other comments "outing" it. Didn't realize so many Snob fans were from San Diego. Go Chargers!

Big Charlie said...

C'mon, Babble. "Dosh" and "Bob's your uncle"? I gave you a pass on the "tyre" earlier, but no way you are Canuckistanian. These are not things we Canuckistanians write.

I suspect subterfuge. You have some 'splainin to do.

McFly said...

I once heard vise-grips called a "Puerto-Rican Socket Set", I thought that was really funny.

Inept mechanic said...

I have a metric hammer for bicycles.

40 in Portland said...

There actually are a few adults in Portland. We have child-support payments and shit, so first of all, give the fucking job to ME. Secondly, I call bullshit: Wherever you are, your 22-year-olds have their heads just as far up their asses as ours. GAAA RONN TEEED.(*)


(*)That's an "old people reference" to some corny Cajun chef from the goddamn 90s whose name I'm already too senile to even remember, all right? Chef Blehh, I think it was. Joe Geronimo maybe. Fine. Fuck you! "Can't touch this."

P. Bateman said...

you mention wd40 - an oily substance that penetrates deeply, but you fail to make any mention of Cippolini? you may want to consider spraying yourself down a bit with a bit of ol' WD 40 as you sir are getting rusty.

Alchemist said...

Dear Anonymous, piss off.

crosspalms said...

Anon 3:03
Watch your ankles, you dog sounds cranky.

babble on said...

@ Charlie

Erm... a few years spent in good ol' Londinium will have a knock on effect on even the most stalwart north american vocabularies.

anon@ 3:03 - a Fuck is a good thing. Say it like you mean it.


Anonymous said...

c. 1985, when I bought my first "racing bike" with my own money, I asked the shop mechanic how to look after it - lube the chain, etc. He said "just spray it down with WD40 - spray everything with WD40, it works great, its the only thing we use here!"

Anonymous said...

"working hard in college" means big bucks in the future. Gotcha

Anonymous said...

I always wondered what happened to all of those "Neutral Support" bikes... Those aren't "bottles"... they're Target-On-Wire missiles...

Anonymous said...

I always wondered what happened to all of those "Neutral Support" bikes... Those aren't "bottles"... they're Target-On-Wire missiles...

Anonymous said...

looks like you can get a bike with a missing tire in DC

link

Nebraska Bike Commuter (non DWI edition) said...

When I was fixing bikes for money, I often had to work on crappy department-store BSOs. If bearings needed to be overhauled on these, I would invariably find that the races would be covered with a brown plasticky film that used to be grease and was impossible to remove...


...unless I sprayed it with WD40.

The King of Park Slope said...

There are always lots of tools at the library.

leroy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
leroy said...

Dear Mr. Anon 3:03 --

My dog asked me to tell you that your dog's mother chases parked cars.

Feel free to ignore him. He doesn't mind.

I won't repeat what his friends the singing hamsters had to say.

Best wishes,

leroy

Anonymous said...

yesterday I saw a tandem bike with a recumbent in front. the bizarre thing about it was that the stoker (yes, I know tandem bicycle terms) was actually steering and the recumbent pilot was over the entire front wheel. I wonder if a supine human being qualifies as "cockpit." sadly I did not get a picture.

Anonymous said...

it looked sort of like this

Dooth said...

Oyster slurping in the Hamptons is a status symbol these days?

Anonymous said...

ahem, Babbleon, if you're so comfy with London English, (ie. dosh, kerb, tyre and the like) why don'tcha use "Cunt" more? Bloody 'ell

babble on said...

Are you KIDDING??

I am the queen of cunt! I love cunt! It's such a great word, much misunderstood, misused and abused in the world today, though I am on a mission to change all that... not this week, cause I'm busy, but look out! Soon we'll all experience the dawning of the age of the enlightened cunt way.

Smalls said...

Just try to unstick deez nutz with your ham hands and WD. I'll slap you so fast your brain will turn to butter, which I will then scrape on my toast.

Fuck me, I'm late. Is this thing still on?

Stanley Wiggins said...

The tape and cardboard cockpit biek also rocks an inverted vitamin water bottle in the holder. Perhaps the two sets of handlebars are footrests and you ride this baby upside down.

Matt of bikehacks bike is clearly not from Portland or the camera would face backwards to record the riders smugness.

Uncle Knobby once said...

"WD stands for 'water displacement' and 40 is the IQ of anyone who thinks kerosene is a good lubricant."

Anonymous said...

I have the same Cateye lights as the orange cockpit. You have to disconnect the batteries from the lights to charge them. The bastards at Cateye have made the connector socket out of some previously unheard of super-low-tolerance plastic which requires two hands and a bucket of swearing to disconnect. This leads me to think that the Cateyes on orange bike person's cockpit don't actually work. It was just easier to add more lights than try and disconnect those fuckers.

Anonymous said...

I love women because cunt.

Anonymous said...

That elitist tool thinks that bike parts don't get stolen in Boulder, CO. HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Perrico Delgado said...

Good work today Snob. Funny shit

JohnBbob said...

Safety-schmafte. That kiwi's bike qualifies as an offensive weapon, (and trispondee)what with the double-barrel air horn and all those lights.

Anonymous said...

I'm so bummed that shithead is moving to my town. Too much of that happening in the past few years.

Marc said...

do cockpits from burning man qualify? what if there are actual shirtcockers attached?

ce said...

"Knog, the Crocs of blinky lights"

McFly said...

Yeah I bought a $29 Knog. When you hit even the slightest of bumps it goes into "seizure mode", I hate it.

Mario Cipollini said...

Oyster slurping in the Hamptons is a status symbol these days?

Oyster slurrrping anywhere izza statusa symbowl.

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous 5PM on the "stoker steering"

That's a Viewpoint semirecumbent tandem, and both Bilenky and we tandem people consider the front, recumbent rider on that bike to be the "stoker" regardless of the fact that he/she is in front. The captain is always the one steering, even if from the back.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe that the kiwi blinding light bike has Aaron Ross grips.

Anonymous said...

@anon 11am:

wow - there's a whole subculture of semirecumbent tandem cyclists! so - does the stoker qualify as part of the cockpit?

The Blue Book said...

So a guy who uses "anyways" is paid six figures? Go figure.

frilly said...

Where's the quiz?

Took me a minute to figure out its still Thursday's post...major blonde moment!

LLDA

g-roc said...

Day late, but I can't help but imagine some long-time bike thief, developing a conscience and ready to hang up the angle grinder / bolt cutters, reads the ad and thinks "Fuck it. You know what? I'm okay with my lifestyle."

Oh, and a Craigslist bike? It was already stolen before you bought it, douchewalla.

Anonymous said...

Uhhhh...please don't move to Boulder. We have enough people like you here.

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Hartrick Pendry said...

Give me my Y-foil, or give me death

Anonymous said...

Only use WD40 if your bike looks like this.

Good thing most of us have our chains on the other side of the bike.

Anonymous said...

To the asshole who left his piece of shit Fuji cable locked outside the Navy Memorial station for two months with quick release skewers;

I am laughing right now. Because I haven't thought anything about your shitty tire you care so much about. Yes it is hilarious I recieve your much begrudged government assistance. It is the only thing that keeps pieces of shit like YOU alive. My subsidized rent and few hundred bucks of welfare money is what keeps me from slitting your priviledged throat and taking your wallet, your girlfriend's pussy and everything else in your yuppie-ass Bed Bath and Beyond apartment. While your parents were paying for you to ride your Fuji to huerigans around Vienna and learn about Johan Strauss I was getting my ass kicked everyday in the projects. I learned a few things in the school of hard knocks though.

Any place any time muthrfucker,

The bottom quintile, a.k.a. "bad person"

Anonymous said...

Vice grips and breaks, Jesus Pete people, learn how to spell!

mohit said...

What A Witch Can Do
Do you have any idea what a witch can do when it comes to you on a dark lonely night? See the cartoon animated Maruti video for more details- http://bit.ly/BoyandtheWitch

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