Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Leisure Martyrs: When Vacations Attack

Trend watch!  You know what's hot, hot, hot?  Dastardly schemes involving small pointy things!  First some scalawag put tacks all over the road during the Tour de France, and then some culinary terrorist put schpilkes in a bunch of airline turkey sandwiches:

But don't worry, because Delta Air Lines is on the case:

Delta Air Lines Inc. is trying to figure out how needles got into turkey sandwiches on four flights from Amsterdam to the U.S.

If I were a Delta executive, my first step would be to fire the catering service that is buying its turkeys from Needle Farms.  Then again, the only reason this incident even made the news was because it affected business class passengers:

The sandwiches were prepared in the kitchen of a catering company in Amsterdam, and some were served to business class passengers on Delta flights. After the needles were found, passengers got pizza instead.


Anyone who flies economy knows it's perfectly normal to find sewing needles in your sandwiches.  In fact, sometimes they don't even bother putting food around the needles and they just serve you a sewing kit.  Sure, it's not very tasty, but it will tide you over until the drink service, at which point the flight attendants just pour scalding hot water in your crotch because they're phasing out cups.

Speaking of the Tour de France, last week I got in trouble for including a "spoiler" in a post, and now this morning I've gotten a taste of my own medication.  There I was, scarfing Froot Loops and blissfully unaware of today's Tour de France results, when I started pawing at my smarting phone and did observe the following tweet:


I can't believe "Bicycling" totally spoiled the rest day for me!  You know, I work hard all day preparing airplane food, and when I get home I look forward to plopping down on the couch, cracking open a beer, firing up the DVR, and watching the day's stage.  And as any cycling fan knows, there's nothing more exciting than turning on the TV after a long day and finding out that there's "fuck-all" going on because it's a rest day.  So when you take that away from me I have nothing.  It makes me mad enough to slip some sewing needles into some sandwiches.

Cunts.

Meanwhile, in other Twitter news, one user seems to really want me to follow something called the "#revetour," because she sent me this Tweet:


As well as this one:

As it happens, I have not been following the "#revetour."  I did see something about it at some point, but I ignored it, since when it comes to the Tour de France I'm really only interested in the riders who are awesome at it--you know, the ones who are actually in the race.  I'm not interested in following amateurs who are riding the Tour de France route for the same reason I'm not interested into going to Lincoln Center while the New York Philharmonic is performing Beethoven's Ninth and instead listening to some crappy musicians who are trying to play the same thing on the sidewalk outside.

Nevertheless, after the second Tweet I figured I should at least check it out, so I first set out to get some background on it and here's what I learned:

We’re riding the Tour de France.


Six amateur women including myself. Every last stage of cycling’s most beloved race. Every last kilometer. All 3,479 of them.


There, I said it.


(How do you announce such absurdity?)


What's absurd about it?  It sounds like fun.  More than that, it sounds like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.  Still, I read on:


In July our small team goes to France with Rêve Grand Tours as part of a project imagined and then brought to life by Michael Robertson, the talented photographer behind Velodramatic (and Creative Director for Rêve). The idea, born over a shared dinner while we were both on assignment last December, is simple: give a small group of women the opportunity to take on the biggest cycling challenge in the world, document the process and tell the story. 


With support from a host of generous sponsors, we will be shuttled, sheltered and cared for day by day. The hotels are booked, the transfers are arranged, the pieces are in place.


Sponsors?  Shuttled?  Sheltered?  Cared for day by day?  Outside of the cycling world, that's what's generally known as a "free vacation."

This isn't to say that following someone's vacation can't be interesting or entertaining.  For example, I enjoy the Anthony Bourdain show "No Reservations," and those episodes are basically vacations.  All he's really doing is flying to exotic locations and stuffing his face.  The crucial difference though is that while normal people enjoy their vacations, cyclists formulate contrived narratives in which they struggle to conquer their vacations:

At night I put my headphones in and close my eyes and set negativity to the side. In it's place I invoke gratitude, compassion, kindness. In the van during the transfer I read your emails, tweets and Facebook messages and think about what this means to all of you in an attempt to figure out what it all means to me. I spent the first 10 or 20k of every ride repeating optimistic thoughts to myself, bringing good energy to the table. Trying to ride from a place of joy instead of a frustration. Trying to hold this in my heart in a special way because the time is flying by and there is going to be a day that I wake up and think, "Did that really happen?"

This is precisely when I switch off.  Why does she need to "figure out what it all means" to her?  It means you're going on an awesome bike vacation!  What cyclist wouldn't want to ride around France for three weeks for free?  Is the challenge really "trying to ride from a place of joy instead of a frustration?"  Or is it simply finding the time to do it in the first place?  Even I, someone who ostensibly writes about bikes for a living, and for whom a "hard day's work" means having to censor naked ladies on recumbent bikes, am lucky if I can find three hours a week to ride a road bike, much less three whole weeks in a row.  Meanwhile, professional bike vacationers just insult you by taking a cycling dream scenario and then telling you how awful it is:

These days do not come without consequences. I'm tired and torn up: saddles sores, cramped feet, permanently numb fingers. That's just the daily stuff. You ride until it all goes away, replaced by a middle ground of calm and determination. Pain is just a sensation, like love or happiness or anything else. Experience it, ride through it, ride past it.

This is like starving to death while listening to someone talk about how they're struggling to finish an entire turkey.  (That's a sewing needle-free turkey, I should add.)  And it's not like they're required to enjoy all of it.  Sure, there's such a thing as too much turkey, just like there's such a thing as too much cycling.  But you know what you do when you have "saddle sores," "cramped feet," and "permanently numb fingers?"  You quit!  Just stop it already!  You're not in the real Tour de France!  "Stoepid Week," "#revetour," every Rapha ride ever... How many leisure martyrs does one sport need?

Then again, I suppose I'm a bit of a hypocrite, because I was thumbing through the journal I kept on my last vacation when I read this:

These days do not come without consequences.  I'm sunburned and sick from margaritas and dark and stormys.  There's sand in my crotch and my Ray-Bans are digging into my temples.  That's just the daily stuff.  You sunbathe until it all goes away, replaced by a middle ground of swimming and napping.  Luxury is just a sensation, like love or happiness or anything else.  Experience it, sleep through it, use sunscreen.

Of course, package vacations can be rough, and shortly after that I was arrested for trying to buy a small quantity of "Wednesday weed" from one of the resort employees and subsequently spent the next 14 months in a local prison that made the prison in "Papillon" look like a Sandals®.  But I'm not one to complain.

But whether it's riding around France for three weeks or lounging on the golden sands of an exotic island somewhere, it's important to stay hydrated.  That's why there's Flexline Hydration, as forwarded to me by a reader:



(If video does not play, watch it here.)

Flexline uses Sexually Suggestive Technology (SST®) to keep you hydrated during your workout, and it's easy to use.  Simply brush your hair aside, place the nozzle in your mouth, and suck gently:


When not in use, the Flexline's rigid shaft just sort of hovers in front of your face, and the nozzle occasionally grazes your slightly-parted lips:


But Flexline isn't just for runners.  It's also great for cyclists.  Just lean forward and get to work:


Other hydration systems are difficult to use while riding.  Either they require lots of groping and feeling around, or else they just hang there flaccidly over your shoulder.  The Flexline, however, is always ready for action:


So when you're thirsty you can just bring it to your mouth:


And you can keep it there while you work the controls with both hands:


Best of all, the patented Autofellatio Technology keeps the fluid source between your legs, while the extra-long shaft provides a turgid yet flexible conduit to the mouth:


Finally, a hydration system that's convenient to use with your H-Zontal bike:



As I always say: stay hydrated and prone, because upright and thirsty is no way to go through life.

136 comments:

GG ALLINS POOP said...

KEEP IT PUNK FOR EVER>

Anonymous said...

Podium. Herbal remedy...

Anonymous said...

POODIUM

Kenny said...

AND THAT'S HOW A BILL BECOMES A LAW!

Anonymous said...

rest day

Anonymous said...

I'd never seen "No Comments" before at the end of a post.

Spokey said...

alas no pods. Just top 10

I feel like the Christian Vande Velde of this blog

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top ten.

Anonymous said...

HUGGY TOP 10 YO

Anonymous said...

hawna, uh uh!

Serial Retrogrouch said...

dang wiggins!

Paul Bowen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Skip Tooth said...

I just realized that I need yellow shoes.

Anonymous said...

Dear Snob,
Righteous Anger becomes you.

I did a tour after the Tour and it was great, a real once in a lifetime experience. My sponsors were the guy that bought my VW Rabbit and the Financial Aid I thoughtfully re-purposed. I was actually asked to write an article about it for a Cycle magazine but I declined. It was, after all, my vacation and I did not really see any reason to share it. The guy driving my Rabbit never asked for a report but the Financial Aid folks eventually did want their money back.

Tnacky and Anonononymous said...

Tnop Tnwenty Fnucking Cnunt Wnankers!

crosspalms said...

Just back from a few days on the golden sands of an exotic island located between the Hudson and East Rivers. Things I noticed in NY:
- police car parked in protected bike lane
- garbage truck driving down protected bike lane
- garbage truck salmoning down one-way street in bus lane
- protected bike lane with its own stop light
- man at urinal in Metropolitan Museum using his left hand to aim, his right hand to text someone on his smart phone -- which he kept doing after he zipped up and walked away. Impressive dexterity.

Paul Bowen said...

"At night I put my headphones in"

Ew, that's more than enough detail thank you young lady.

Anonymous said...

rest day blues

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

These days do not come without consequences. I'm whiplashed and achy from sucking and drinking. There's salt on my tongue and my teeth are sticky. That's just the daily stuff. You "drink" until it all goes away, replaced by a middle ground of lifting your head and letting your hair fall in your face. Fellatio is just a sensation, like love or happiness or anything else. Experience it, meditate on it, use a dental dam.

Stiveaux said...

Leisure martyrs. Giving positive self-talk a bad name.

Anonymous said...

Flexline chick can run to my place of joy.

Anonymous said...

That's some purty good e-rotic writing there mr. snob..
I Almost be e-rect by now!

Buffalo Bill said...

Those poor dears, they are really suffering over there. Can't someone send them some love?

DerZoots said...

Born free indeed.

Douche'ington Hetro III said...

H-Zontal backdoor pee-pee shaped rehydrating panties ...


eeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

McFly said...

Those turkey's are obviously heroin addicts. That jogger is obviously MILF.

acquiesce808 said...

re: Flexline. two words:

"Dune Re-Boot"

David Burkowitz said...

So Mr. Snob. Looks like you are finally out of the closet. How about me, my dog, you and Vito have a little get together at my place. You'll have to travel upstate but it will be worth your while.

JB said...

McFly: How can you tell that the jogger has given birth?

Anonymous said...

That "Fast Half Turn" maneuver is priceless!

McFly said...

Cipo will happily shuttlecock the Revetour ladies. Nightly. Daily. And in between.

McFly said...

Look back on the road, her uterus fell out, but it may be a possum.

Fritz said...

The H-Zontal bike guy must be the grandson of Mr Hulot

Steve "Tilford" Irwin said...

It looks like that guy is sucking off an ant-eater.

B. Wigginz said...

I cunt ever dope because it would cost me my extremely flamboyant hairstyle.

grog said...

No needless needles in this cuntry turkey. You may stop censoring the babe now.

B. Wigginz said...

TACK ATAK
!!!!! !!!!!

Tara said...

The whole I'll-ride-the-Tour-and-write-about-it bit was done by out of shape humor writer Tim Moore a few years ago. The book -- "French Revolutions" -- is absolutely hilarious. And isn't there the Etape de Tour, where lots of amateurs sign up to ride the stages the day (or morning) before the Tour riders get there?

Anonymous said...

GOOD RANT

Anonymous said...

the h-zontal rocks. I think the only more unnatural and iefficient position would be standing on your head and pedaling with your hands.

I love the soundtrack to the suckflex.

All The Black People In Portland Say said...

RevTour is for fucking retards; privileged, narcissistic, insufferable retards but retards just the same.

Yeah, I'm fucking "inspired"!!

By what, dipshit?

Following these whiny cunts is dumber than following Levi Leipheimer or Dave Zabriskie like they might "do" something "impressive" someday (don't worry, they won't).

Anonymous said...

leisure martyrs

Awsome. Stay thirsty, my friends.




-balls™

Anonymous said...

leisure martyrs goal is to impress people with thier halfassed attempts at doing something "epic". I'd be more impressed by just a tiny bit of self awareness. no one is impressed by your long bike vacation or the senseless suffering because you are completely unprepared to do it at even a mediocre level. I'd be more impressed if you just stayed home, sat on your fat ass and watched the pros do it properly on the tele, you cunt. yours in christ, Bradley.

d. byrne said...

Mr. Snob,

Out of the closet finally!

Cum on over rover and let d. take over.

I don't have a car. But I do have a chauffer and a bitch'in limo. I'll send it for you as soon as you desire.

Just the other night I was telling 'Mayor For Life' Bloomberg "Isn't this just the greatest CoUNTry in the hole wide world.

Here is a dating hint for you. If you wear a 'All Deliveries in the Rear' sequined sleevless designer tee while club'in your love life will prosper immensely.

If everyone had their own anatomically correct unicorn just think what a wonderful world this would be.

Cipo said...

Have I ever mentioned the occasion on which while enjoying a TdF rest day while delivering 'The Cipo Express' in a H-Zontal orientation when suddenly and toally unexpectedly two french podium girls simultaneously exploded diredtly beneath me?

This event affected me so deeply that I did not have sexual relations with another woman for almost an entire hour.

The flashbacks still haunt me to this day.

Anonymous said...

Has the Reve Tour team had tacks tossed in the road in front of them? It would be more authentic.

I looked at their blog. Props to them for getting someone to sensor their vacation, it's kind of old school compared to Kickstarter (Kicksartre in France). When I rode around Europe it was money I borrowed from Dad and self-supported, while camping, on sew-ups. It would have been fucking epic photographed in black and white.

Dead Kenny Gs said...

Both of those bike videos use awesome music!

jno62 said...

Good stuff, Snobby!

Thanks.

JP said...

"Kicksartre"

Brilliant.

If a Kicksartre campaign doesn't get funded, does that mean it doesn't exist?

Anonymous said...

Great stuff, Snob!

Top XLVIII ????

Not on the Boobies said...

This relieves a worry I had about the H-zontal, straight from their FAQ:
Is the women breast compressed ?
No, the breast is not supported on the boobies but higher up on the clavicle and sternum.

Tom said...

Ever notice how the TdF doesn't allow women? It's possible, just possible, that you're missing the point. Nice job on the big "FUCK YOU" to female cyclists, though. That must have felt good.

JB said...

rain:bus::needles:pizza

Marcel Da Chump said...

More "leisure martyrs" and ima fucking lose it..

i am a confused engine said...

Am I missing something, how did they get a free trip, according to the reve team, you have to pony up 8000 euros in amrican that is 9800.00 That sounds like a tour business to me, I thought the road and the wind in your hair was free.

g-roc said...

Oh great, thanks Snob for sharing your spoiled rest day discovery with us. Now all I have to look forward to is the mystery of what douchey sport I've recorded today.

JB said...

They are riding every last kilometer of every last stage of the Tour? So, they are riding 1k down the Champs-Élysées every day? Brilliant.

g said...

I tell you one thing, I will never pester BSNYC-WCRM (AKA:RTMS) to write about my vacation/epic life trip, that's for damn sure. I imagine
Linda was expecting something a bit kinder and gentler. Poor girl.

g said...

And, Tom@222, get over it. It's a fucking joke.

Anonymous said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tour_de_France_F%C3%A9minin

According to the interweb, there is a womens tour? What gives how come It isnt on TV?

Steve said...

New rule: If your publicity stunt has already been done by a middle-aged journalist with very little athletic ability or prior training (aka Tim Moore), then it cannot by definition be #epic, #awesome, or #inspiring.

With apologies to Mr. Moore because his book is pretty funny and a lot better read than the overwrought blog posts of Ms. Swift.

Jefe said...

Bike sodomy and straw fellatio. Keep the children far away.

Anonymous said...

A video of that lass jogging toward me would have been like cream cheese icing on a delicious blogular flavored cake.

Salty and Sore said...

Le Sigh.

We don't need a French Title 9. We need to make sure we audition for the right marketing campaign.

Umm.. thank you, Cannondale?

Anonymous said...

Dear Tom @ 2:22
I'm a female cyclist. BSNYC has never said "FUCK YOU" to me.
He has taught me to wear my sunglasses over my helment straps, and I am forever grateful. (Well, for that and all the great blog posts).

Vegas said...

I thought DaddoOne had me laughing riotously, then I read acquiesce808!
Oh yeah, you're pretty funny too Snob.

Nice to see that country music is just as horrific in any language. Props to the H-zontal vid for making my eyes AND ears bleed.

Anonymous said...

I am a Leisure Martyr because I just finished Infinite Jest.
Was it brilliant? Was it Ulysses-ish?
Maybe.
You'll never know BECAUSE I AINT GONNA BLOG ABOUT IT!

Dooth said...

I have a confession:

I'm a Podium Guy

on the revetour.

xoxo

Salty and Sore said...

Oh right! The podium!!

We do have a chance to get into the TdF! My bad.

Yea for girls!!

:)-3-<


[/salty]
@Tom. yup. You missed the point.

Anonymous said...

I'm a horizontal female cyclist but I don't wear the periscope mirror goggles when I go down, down, down...

bikesgonewild said...

...dooth...righteous, dude (& funny as shit)...

...podium boy, bwahahahaha !!!...

el pistole said...

hah, now we know why frank schleck is riding like a dehydrated douchebag - he's doping with diuretics. he should try a steak-based diet instead, muchos better!

PatrickBateman said...

please don't provide any further coverage of women's "sports"

Anonymous said...

That blog by that Heidi chick you linked to is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. There's a reason why womens' team sports are so unpopular and the level of competition sucks: WAY too much estrogen. Just slug it out for fucks sake! Or don't. If you keep the bitchy, childish posts coming, I keep reading.

Anonymous said...

Girl in purple, best way to promote adequate hydration.

bikesgonewild said...

...top 3 frank schleck excuses for having a 'positive' urine test @ 'le tour'...

...(1) handed up a bottle on first pyrenees stage by a 'team worker' who looked suspiciously like 'berto cuntador w/ a fake moustache...

...(2) ate a luxemburger w/ cheese & special sauce at end of first pyrenees stage...server looked suspiciously like 'berto cuntador w/ a fake beard...

...(3) spent evening of first rest day w/ spanish 'hooker' who , in retrospect, looked suspiciously like 'berto cuntador's new wife...she was 'shaved'...

torpedo onion said...

"Gee Dad, look at that running lady. Is thems pontoons?"

"Yes son, thems pontoons... but don"t tell your mother."

g-roc said...

Anon 2:35, I'm guessing Liz Hatch isn't racing it.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Now, now, let's not be too hard on little Frankie. He tends to retain water at this stage of his menstrual cycle to the detriment of his bicycle cycle. Don't you?

Therapeutic exemption = continued eligibility...

Anonymous said...

...and the cars overtake you.
If I was ever on one of those fruity doggy-style recumbents I would be hoping the car would run me over.

bikesgonewild said...

...how palpably ironic that frank schleck gets busted on a urine test...

...i heard he sits down to pee...

...just sayin'...

McFly said...

Man, LayaTerd Trek must really be hard up for some press to stoop to this level. That's like testing positive for darvacet. They suck.

g said...

McFly,
I would guess it's a ploy to get some new sponsorship money in the coffers to pay some salaries. Big Pharma has deep pockets.

leroy said...

Next year, my dog and his buddies want to participate in the TdF. He says they are way better at chasing cyclists than those fans running next to the riders in the mountain stages.

I warned him those days don't come without consequences. Warm beverages, sore paws, close encounters with Did Senft. That's just the daily stuff.

If he lifts his leg on the Clean Bottle guy, I'll pretend I don't know him.

bikesgonewild said...

...didi senft is a husky fucker...

...just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

Tara - I enjoyed reading French Revolutions. A friend of mine did the hilly Etape stage (in the Pyrenees if I remember correctly) a few years ago; the participants range from good club racers to starry-eyed dreamers....the latter drop out quite quickly....

hey nonny mouse

Anonymous said...

< If a Kicksartre campaign doesn't get funded, does that mean it doesn't exist? >

Not necessarily, but trying to organise it would be hell......

hey nonny mouse

Anonymous said...

Tremendous stories:

"We were eating dinner and. . . "

Meaning: we live by night and change the world by day, while not letting anyone forget our awesomeness.

It is like the whole Jack Dorsey founding of Square: my douchy burner cum glass blower friend couldn't accept a credit card for his artwork. . ."

Yes, AYCFME (All You Cunts Fellate My Ego)

3G said...

HOLY TITS

Etherhuffer said...

That hydration reminds me of an anecdote:
A guy walks into a bar. "bartender, ten shots of scotch, straight up."
The guy knocks back all ten straight away.
"special occasion?" queries the bartender.
"Yep, just got my first blowjob!"
Barkeep says "Great! Let me give you another shot on the house!"
Guy says "No thanks, if ten won't get the taste out of my mouth one more won't help."

McFly said...

More HJP (Hydration Jogging Porn) or...........................................

McFly said...

IMAFUCKINKILLYA

Anonymous said...

http://verydemotivational.memebase.com/



Stay Hydrated

Jefe said...

How did Flexline get Don Henley to sing on their video?

Mersault's mother said...

hey nonny mouse et al:

Kicksartre's slogan: Hell is other people who won't give us money

Jed said...

Terrific post today! If I can just get my sieve of a memory to hold on to that Leisure Martyr reference and save it for next week's group ride, I'll be money. BTW, if a car runs over a guy on a prone bike, is that really a crime, or a public service? I did like the part where he dabbled in a little cyclocross. Awesome post!

leroy said...

Dear Tom at 2:22 --

Now that you mention it, I never noticed that the NBA, NFL, NHL, MLB and The Village People don't allow women either.

And unless I'm very much mistaken, no woman has occupied the center square on The Hollywood Squares.

It makes you think ... Sort of.

Next vacation, I'm dressing up like the Motorcycle Guy from the Village People and demanding a try out with the N.Y. Giants and Paul Lynde's old chair.

You should get yourself a Construction Worker Guy costume and join me to express solidarity with our oppressed sisters.

If I'm late, start without me.

Best wishes,

leroy

All The Black People In Portland said...

Hey Tom and all the other Women's Cycling Crybabies:

How about ** YOU ** sponsor a women's cycling team, or 'crowdsource' sponsorship for a team, the requisite races, organizations, prize lists etc?

I'm "sure" there are lots of TdF fans, men and women alike, who'd be "thrilled" to contribute to such a great venture.

The fact that I know precisely ZERO women cycling fans with ANY interest in women's cycling save the races they personally do means nothing; the 'epic' righteousness of the cause is obvious and if only dipshits can forego their 'bespoke' 'bakefeets' then athletic justice can prevail.

Good luck, sport!!

Anonymous said...

98

Anonymous said...

99

Anonymous said...

who cares..dead last.

Krac'kah Cipo said...

Podium Pootie Tang'

bikesgonewild said...

...i figured 'tom' was just acting all sensitive & shit 'cuz he was tryin' to get laid...

babble on said...

Aw fuck yer funny. Leisure martyrs on top of the old point and and anoint? Cheers!

Um. I would just like to re-iterate that cunt is a good thing. It's like cocksucker. I'm not a superstitious kind of girl or anything, but I'm pretty sure it must be bad spondee to use words like that in vain. You know, blaspheming n'all...

McFly said...

Babble on,
Nice Avatar. How long have you had that pearl necklace? Did your boyfriend give to you on a special occasion?

Sylvia said...

Your nobody called today.

Anonymous said...

I think the snob is missing the point of epic rides. The confidence and pride one can get from achieving something very few people have is ispiring and makes the rest of the shit life dishes out much easier. Too bad people throw the word 'epic' around too much.

Anonymous said...

Hey Tom, the tour de france feminin takes place from the 4th of August, 2012 and it takes place every year. Well, will you look at that...

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

c'mon 8:29...i ride my bike on many Mehpic to epic adventures - tour stages, crazy mountains, hundreds of miles on consecutive days, etc. etc. etc.

the point is:I'm having fun, so fucking what? I don't tweet twit or twat it, Facebook it or tell people they ought to be inspired by it.

Occasionally i tell people who ASK ME about some of the related adventures.

the only person inspired by my bicycle riding is me - and that is how it ought to be - especially since I suck

McFly said...

I wish people would quit throwing the word ispiring around. Wait, nevermind that's not a word.

babble on said...

Thank you kindly, McFly, yes he did! Don't you just love it? Must be one of those gifts that feel as good to give as they are to receive cause he seemed well pleased with himself...
And in case you hadn't noticed, EVERY day is a special occasion.

Anonymous said...

Panties!

Foghorn "Y-Foil" Leghorn said...

Satianic Verse panties!

Anonymous said...

What an unbelievable asshole you are.

Linda J. said...

I don't usually leave, or even read, blog comments since they are so stupid. But for someone who actually read your books & went to Powell's in Portland to hear you speak, I'm really disappointed. I was just trying to get some attention by cycling-related media for what I think is an incredible thing, these amateur women riding the Tour de France. It's never been done, not by women. So what if Cannondale & other sponsors are providing equipment. So what if you don't like Heidi's writing. They are doing it to raise money for nonprofit Bikes Belong, and to inspire more women to take up cycling. As a cyclist myself, I'm thrilled by what they are doing, as I'd never attempt such a thing, but I think it's awesome. This may not be the scathing response I composed in my head earlier, but there you have it. I realize you have a disclaimer on your blog for this very reason - so you can criticize everything. And I will keep riding, thankyouverymuch.

"While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!"

litespeed bikes said...

Flexline seems really cool

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Anonymous said...

LOL. The flexline bit was great.

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"it is more comfortable Limo In NYC."

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