Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Smugness by the Bakfietsful: Through a Park Smugly

The month?  March.  The weather?  Beautiful.  The questions?  Douchetorical.  (A rhetorical question is when you pose a question without expecting a reply, whereas a douchetorical question is one that you immediately answer yourself.)  And of course a premature springjaculation from Mother Nature means only one thing:

Time to load up the Smugness Flotilla and hit the park.

I did not actually take the above photo yesterday, I took it a few weeks ago.  If I had taken it yesterday, you'd see much sunnier skies, as well as lots and lots of people all agog over the warmth and drunk with pollen and rolling around in the grass like dogs on that stinky patch in the yard.  I too was roaming around in a stupid state of bliss, and therefore could not be bothered with mundane business like shooting cargo bike porn.  Plus, I didn't even have the smuggest flotilla in the park, for right nearby were some people who had one of these pulpits on wheels:


They may have won that round, but just wait until next spring, when I will officially have the smuggest and most artisanal bike in Brooklyn.  I don't want to give too much away, but I will divulge that I've hired an undisclosed framebuilder to "curate" me a bakfiets built around this exquisite clawfoot bathtub:

(My new bakfiets will scream "Brownstone Brooklyn!" while also whispering "douche.")

Sure, the cast iron and porcelain construction results in a pretty heavy tub, but the extra weight should be offset by the all-bamboo frame.

Speaking of New York City's parks, over in Central Park a reader has discovered that the answer to the following question:

"Is there a skateboarding equivalent of a Fred?"

Is an emphatic "Yes."  That's right, amazingly there is such a thing as Fredboarding:


And via the same reader comes this sick Fredboarding "edit:"



 I only hope the US government doesn't learn about this, because Fredboarding looks even more demeaning than waterboarding, and it's only a matter of time before they start making people do this at Guantanamo Bay.

Anyway, it was a lovely afternoon, but there's one thing that would have made it even lovelier.  See, where I enter the park there's a big traffic circle that is a vortex of motor vehicles coming to and from the nearby expressway.  It's a lot like watching rusty diarrhea water go down the drain of a clawfoot tub, only it's accompanied by constant honking.  Until a few years ago, you used to have to join this deadly clusterfuck if you wanted to enter the park on your bike, but now there's a neat little network of bike lanes that allows you to skirt all the car traffic entirely.  Foolishly I thought the new bike lanes were great, and every few weeks or so when I saw yet another car crash in the traffic circle I'd be thankful that I no longer had to fight through that on a bike.  However, after listening to the "vehicular cycling" advocates I realize I'd actually be a lot better off if they'd remove the bike lanes so my kid and I could just "take the lane" with all those rage-addled drivers in the throes of rush hour.  As for their alarming propensity for driving into one another, I'm sure it's nothing a wrist mirror couldn't fix.

By the way, smug people love Dutch smugness porn like this:



So I wanted to find the vehicular cycling equivalent, but all I could find was this:

 

Looks great.  Maybe some day we'll finally adopt the Bangladeshi model and be rid of those damn bike lanes once and for all.  Or, maybe we should just stop riding vehicularly and start riding militaristically:


I don't know the story behind this photo and neither did the reader who sent it to me, but I'm guessing he didn't get that thing from Nashbar.

In any case, despite my enjoyment of the weather I soon found myself cursing it.  This is because every winter--even during mild winters like this one was--I hatch a brilliant scheme to escape Brooklyn once and for all.  (One year I even decided to tunnel my way to freedom, and I got as far as the Belt Parkway before the MTA bought my tunnel from me in order to transform it into a new subway line, which of course guarantees that it will remain unused for all eternity.)  However, as soon as the spring arrives I become complacent.  The bike lanes and the pleasant outdoor spaces lull me into a false sense of security, then the summer comes and the heat starts baking my brain, and before I know it the winter returns and I haven't even finished building the hang glider I was going to use to soar away to safety, or I haven't finished bagging all the coconuts I was going to float away on like in the final scene of the movie "Papillon," and I'm stuck here for yet another year.

As for where I'd go were I to one day succeed in my plan, does it really matter?  Whether it's Queensland or Queens, or Amsterdam, Netherlands or Amsterdam, New York, it's all the same just as long as I leave Brooklyn.  This is because Brooklyn is heading in a very dangerous direction culturally, and if I don't get out soon one more year will become five more years, and five will become ten, and before I know it I'll be riding around on a vintage artisanal bathtub bakfiets picking up feed for my chickens and goats at the organic livestock food coop where we hold six-hour meetings about whether or not we should be carrying Israeli poultry grit.

I only hope my Nonplussed Male Models of Cycling 2012 Calendar sells a lot of copies.  Speaking of which, you may recall the Hipster Skinsuit Model:



Well, in browsing his other auctions I was pleased to note that not only is he an accomplished disembodied hand model (or in this case, disemhanded finger model):

($29?  Leave it to Specialized to engineer a proprietary top cap.)

But he also offers vagina bumper stickers:

(The "e" in "Veg" is a typo.)

Which would go great with these notoriously elusive Shimano "clit pedals," spotted by Klaus of Cycling Inquisition:


The reason these are so rare is that Shimano relocated the clit to the shoe soon after:


I'm not sure why this was, though perhaps people were experiencing problems achieving release.

118 comments:

le Correcteur said...

First

le Correcteur said...

Second too!

le Correcteur said...

Third as well!

le Correcteur said...

Podium's mine! Clenbuterol, I thank you!

Anonymous said...

Panties!

Anonymous said...

Top 5.
I don't know why!

Anonymous said...

Panties!

Jasper said...

Early doors

Anonymous said...

Panties!

SJW said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kenneth Trueman said...

closest I ever got to Podium !

Anonymous said...

Fred Boarding? Fuck me, What's next?

That video defies my ability to make fun of it.

Is that a shepard's crook? What Fred Board team kit is that? Is it a club or a real team? If you mouthed off at that guy, would he go all Jacky Chan on you with that shepard's crook?
Is that board carbon? Are those wheels borne on ceramic bearings? Is that shepard's crook carbon? If no, why not? How old is that guy? Is he a retired Wall Streeter? Probably, huh?

thegock said...

Carbon wheels ($8,000) allow me to finish with the front chasers...

Captain Hardbread said...

VGN and Clits where's recumbabe?

Anonymous said...

14th

cycle

Anonymous said...

weed.

crosspalms said...

How can you leave a place that's about to host a food and music festival so important the New York Times ran a story AND a correction about it?

"A report last Wednesday in the Off the Menu column rendered incorrectly the name of a food and music festival planned for Prospect Park, Brooklyn, in May. It is The Great GoogaMooga, not The Great Googa Mooga."

Anonymous said...

You're not a vehicular cyclist unless you have taken a few classes. Riding in traffic is not equal to riding vehicularly as the VCers claim. That is the training the VCers are referring to:
http://www.bikeleague.org/programs/education/pdfs/smart_cycling.pdf
https://www.bikemn.org/education/courses/traffic_skills_101__lci/

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Whatever the case the musical score really went well with the sick fredboard edit. I think I'll just watch that over and over for the rest of the day.

CommieCanuck said...

That Fredborder should wear a parachute to go faster, that flag isn't enough.

I like the cane, it's very distinguished. I'd buy a cane for cycling, if it were Italian and super-expensive for no good reason.

JB said...

meeeeahahAHAHAHahaheeehhh!
[doppler effect]

BoardFred said...

We need our own lanes, too? Why should you cyclists get all the extra parking spaces for cops labeled as bike lanes. Fredboard lanes for everyone!

Blog Drafter said...

That Dutch video is way too long, There were no hot Dutch babes like in past videos to hold my attention so I gave up at 2" or so.

It's fun watching Snob slowly and inexorably morph "douchiness" into "dutchiness".

I just read that Bear Grylls named two of his sons Marmaduke and Huckleberry. Dick.

Vagan said...

Vegans get more pussy! Glad y'all finally noticed!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

While the BMAR (Back Mounted Assault Rifle)does present a intimidating visage I much prefer the portageability and ease of use while underway of a short barreled .45 ACP

singlespeedwaster said...

Top 50? No, hang on, Top 30! Woo hoo hoo!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

In the first still image of the fredboarder he really looks like a rebel X-wing fighter pilot.

crosspalms said...

In the Madison Street (Chicago) bike lane the other day, I was passed by a guy on an electric scooter. Electric fredboard?

Randomly Vacant Publishing said...

excerpt 'Cipo' The Book
Volume IX Page MCLXXVI


"It was summer. I don't recall the year. Montreux. Grand Hotel. Yes that's right. The Hotel that Deep Purple and The Mothers of Invention burned to the ground. I'm in a suite getting down with the babes from the B52's. The bolnd says I'd have sex with you if it weren't for my Gay Girl Scout pledge. To which I replied Felatio is NOT sex!"

PS - While I was busy with Blondie Redhead B52 did me with a 15" (4572 mm) and I still had my Team Leopard skinsuit on.

shaun said...

I've thought about adding a gun to the bike kit. That way, I have an equal chance of killing other road users as they do me.

It is a good reminder to share the road.

Anonymous said...

Snobby - doesn't your Nashbar catalog have a few pages devoted to automatic weapons? Mine does. Saving for a Glock.

cycle

Gianni Bunghole said...

I carry Nigerian pygmy goats in my bakefeets!

I am an amused engine. said...

I think that a beikfeits with a rear rack is the definition of superfluous.

The clit thing, just makes me laugh, I bet their spell checker would let them write affhole either.

mikeweb said...

I think that machine gun has a large capacity clit.

grog said...

When NYC becomes like Dhaka, it's time to get out, or take the bus, or lease a Datsun.

I am a fully loaded engine said...

At least the guy with the automatic weapon, had a full kit, and was wearing his helmet, because lycra and styrofoam will protect you from anything.

Anonymous said...

How do you lease a datsun, is it 1985 again?

Some Stupid With A Flare Gun said...

I got a full back tattoo of my bakefeat because I love vehicular bicycling so much.

Buffalo Bill said...

I got to get me one of them crabon fibre buffalo guns.

Kenny Banya said...

"at the organic livestock food coop where we hold six-hour meetings about whether or not we should be carrying Israeli poultry grit."

Gold Snobby, GOLD!

misster-PISSTA said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I just Googled Israeli poultry grit and BSNY was first in the result...that's power!

misster-PISSTA said...

the shop I grew up in had a package from shitmanohno that said "Clank Extractor" whenever a customer came in and said that their ride was making a clanking noise it would be pulled out of its drawer and offered up as a possible solution...you would think shitmanohno would have had an english student check their packaging..

Anonymous said...

if i had a gun like that i could take the lane as well as everyone else's.

FatScotsBloke said...

Love the bloke at 10s in the dutch video with tri- bars on his town bike.

Daniel said...

I got the book in the mail yesterday. I haven't read it yet, as it is now a side table prop ala West Elm.

What, no stickers in this release?

Billy said...

More in keeping with the book's theme would be some incense or a fold-up paper lotus or something.

Anyway, nice weapon-themed post today Snob. I have occasionally started thinking of my u-lock as a reasonable improvised weapon, but I got nothing on the spike-boarder. That's a lotta leverage to bash someone's window in with.

Not to mention the spike biker in the other picture. Are those grenades in his jersey pockets or just powerbars?

Billy said...

My obsession with violence during my commute means I have a long way to go before I could consider myself "enlightened".

Unless shedding a few pounds during my morning ride by running out of ammo counts as "enlightening".

Anonymous said...

indeed beautiful weather. i think too many people ride bikes in amsterdam. it looks like a complete custer fuck. i prefer NY even with our lack of infrastructure. the only thing that could make biking conditions worse here was if you doubled the amount of bikers. suck it dutch people.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Postman dropped off my edition too yesterday. The introduction is funny. Not gotten any further in it yet. Yep pretty lame no stickers.

zoomer said...

Top Fitty?
Weed Panties!

Anonymous said...

That guy fredboarding rode switch and pushed mongo as well as regular but he's still a kook.

Anonymous said...

awesome-board guy looks like he's about to have a coronary although he can work that spike like no ones business.

le Correcteur said...

Anonymous at 2:04:

"custer fuck": is this what you mean?

http://www.friendslittlebighorn.com/images/martinpate/calhounhillpate.jpg

Anonymous said...

I'm confused snob. You told me cycling was safe and I didn't need a helmet. Now you're telling me your roads are a "deadly cluster-fuck" and I should stay the fuck off them?

Anonymous said...

No stickers?

I'm cancelling my hold on your so-called book at the library.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

In the Dutch video listen close to Hillie starting at 00:44 She sounds like Goldmember.

bikesgonewild said...

...can we really trust 'the dutch' ???...first off, they don't live in 'dutchland', they have two whole other names for where they live...

...'the dutch' live in 'holland' or 'the netherlands' which all sounds kinda suspect to me...

...americans live in america...
...canadians live in canadia...
...the english live in england...
...even the belgians who live next door to 'the dutch', live in belgium, so what the fuck is up with those dutch people...

...ohhh sure, they all say "we all ride bikes & have a wonderful cycling infrastructure that is both safe & environmentally friendly", but this whole 3X name thingy is sketchy at best...

...maybe they're trying to keep the rest of us out by being vague...

..."ohhh ya, sure, come visit us...we're dutch & we live in the netherlands, you know, holland"...

...i mean, all i'm really sayin' here is that's just not right......

Anonymous said...

Snob, thanks for making me laugh almost every day.

xyxax said...

At what speed do fredboarders go "Wooooohooooo"?

Anonymous said...

Mr. BikesGoneWild

Americans live all over the Americas except in the US where Americans only live in the US and Canada which despite being the most American of American places (your typical Canadian suburb looks like a Republican wet dream) they're abjectly desperate not to be labeled Americans against all geographic and historical evidence.

Anonymous said...

The Dutch are wound extremely tightly. And I don't mean that as a compliment.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Clit pedals for footy fetish.

CommieCanuck said...

Vegans get more pussy!

Yeah, but it's really just tofu.

CommieCanuck said...

...americans live in america...
...canadians live in canadia...
...the english live in england...


But people from England don't own up to it, they don't say they are from England, or call themselves Englandans, they are purposely vague by saying Engl-ish, which means what? Kinda from England? WHAT ARE THEY HIDING.

If I called myself Canadish at a border crossing, I'd be FredBoarded in Gitmo' within two hours.

streepo said...

Believe me, if you turned up in Amsterdan, NY as opposed to Amsterdam, the Netherlands it would NOT be all the same to you.
scranus

Rol said...

Better run over the guy with the gun, just to be safe!

bikesgonewild said...

...well...i'm glad that between anon 2:40pm, commiecanuck & myself that we could clear up that little issue of jingoism for everyone...

...our research led to our own 'bakfietsful of smugness'...

Anonymous said...

That's a lovely video of the Netherlands.

@10s Is that a person riding in the middle of the bike lane-less road in front of car?

@5m24s Does a bike advocate say that at lower speeds (20mph) bikes and cars mix on the street?

@9m24s Does somebody say that children are taught traffic rules in elementary school?

I was also struck at how damn slow the Dutch apparently ride. The average speed appears about 5mph. That would make six hours of bike commuting for me each day.

bikesgonewild said...

...& wasn't "FredBoarded in Gitmo'..." a jimmy buffet song ???...

...just askin'...

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous 1:33

"I just Googled Israeli poultry grit and BSNY was first in the result...that's power!"

You mean to imply that there was more than one result?!

Anonymous said...

Judging by the roadside vegetation, that guy with the AK looks like he's riding in Arizona.

I'm pretty sure 'open carry' is legal in Arizona and I've heard stories before about packing heat while riding there.

Buy-cycle said...

Weednesday 3rd?

Anonymous said...

The dutch like threes.
Remember the triangle of slave commerce? Who set that up?

Yeah I'd have a few address too.

screaming skull said...

Smug Dutchbags!

Anonymous said...

I wish they would film these pro-Dutch videos in the dead of winter, so we can see what it's really like.

Skunk Ape Vigoda said...

I suppose riding with an assault rifle would make some rednecks think twice before pelting you with their empties.

Quilled and Lugged said...

My first thought was: the bath-tub bakfiets is so douche it's a bidet.
Does that even make sense?
My seocnd thought is that they put the clit on the shoe to make it harder to find.
That's enough thinking for one day, especially a Wednesday

bikesgonewild said...

...despite my earlier vitriol against their 'identity crisis', i gotta say that those dutch folks are pretty fucking savvy, ya ???...

...they've not only implemented an intelligent cycling infrastructure, they've created a whole industry of hosting representatives from cities around the world who look to the netherlands as a model of combining cycling & motor vehicle efficiency...

..."ya, my name is cees & i ride around all day on my bicycle und smugly allow people to video how cool we are here in holland & make them think they have half a chance of doing the same where they live...
...of course at night, i take the same folks to my cousin diedrik's smokers cafe & then across the canal in the red light district to where my sister grieta runs a brothel"
...

...(it's kinda like the hunter who doesn't waste any part of his kill)...

...sly, smug people, these dutchies, ya ???...

...(actually, i really dug that video)...just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

HARD CLIT

Do not believe those Dutch and Dane propaganda movies, they keep their chainring tattoos off camera. A bunch of Freds they are.
The Bangladeshis don't have that problem as they are pantless and dark skinned.

Regulators said...

Sixteen in the clit and one in the hole, Nate Dogg's about to make some bodies turn cold. They're droppin' and yellin', it's a tad bit late. Me and Warren G. had to regulate...

One keg of beer for the four of us said...

With the Highland Dutch, and the Lowland Dutch;
And the Rotterdam Dutch, and the God damned Dutch.
Now when God made the Dutch, he didn't make much;

Anonymous said...

I think the assault rifle is the Arizona equivalent of a "3 feet please" jersey.

McFly said...

I am 98.6% certain the FredBoarder is Tom Skerritt, in a X-wing Fighter suit.

McFly said...

Sumbeech is in shape, too.

Anonymous said...

No wonder I was having so much trouble finding that little man in the boat.
It's no where near the fucking boat.
Tonight I lay seige to the bottom of her feet.

Anonymous said...

Shell Oil? Worldwide purveyors of fine petrochemicals and the third highest grossing company on the planet? The Dutch should be careful what they tell our bike advocates. Those nice Dutch cities look happily fattened on American driving habits. I'm not sure selling us heavy clunky cruiser bikes would fill the economic void.

McFly said...

HOT M.I.L.F. SIGHTING AT 1:47 IN THE DUTCH VIDEO! Merci WCRM, Merci. Apparently she had just unclitted herself and was parking her bathfiets.

McFly said...

Bill Strickland has lost it: Back on September 1 of last year, a friend of mine, David Alvarez, sent me an email:

“Concocted a ridiculous plan: Riding five Classics in 7 days. Gent-Wevelgem, Tour of Flanders, Paris-Roubaix, Amstel Gold and Liege-Bastogne-Liege. Full lengths.”

He went on from there in a decent amount of detail, with an approximation of the logistics, a list of the four other friends he’d also asked along, the companies he hoped to involve, stuff like that.

My response to this stupid idea took less than two minutes to both coalesce and write, a succinct two words: “You &$*#er.”

His acknowledgment of my eloquent acceptance was equally concise: “Good man.”

Reggie said...

I got exhausted just watching that spikeboarding video. Sheesh, nuts will never cease crackin'

Luke Wilson said...

Amsterdam, NY has a partial bike lane on rt 30. Or you can go to south side on the bike trail, but it doesn't actually go anywhere.
Come on Upstate Snob, you can sign my book!!!

the people of the Netherlands said...

anon 2:04 :

"custer fuck" ??

Cipo said...

eating pussy

Robin van Persie said...

@bgw - the first comment: Don't forget about Flanders, that's where the Dutch are really from...

Anonymous said...

The Dutch are sitting pretty watching our dipshit backwater of a country try to not deal with the after effects of slavery.

The easy money is with the middleman.
Those Dutch got it figured real nice like.

Anonymous said...

I'm beginning to suspect that this blog post was also about vehicular cycling.

1. Bakfiets. Again.
2. FredBoard ridden vehicularly.
3.More Dutch and Dutch bike infrastructure false equivalency making.
4.Third world transportation infrastructure false equivalency making.
5. Funny bit about cycling militaristically.
6. Some crap about vaginas and clits that's supposed to make us feel better about all the vehicular cycling stuff earlier.

So, there you have it.

Anonymous said...

But I still love me some Snob blog magic.

sute said...

Good post. Do best, no regret. Ray ban sunglasses, cheap gucci sunglasses, burberry sunglasses sale on http://www.egalass.com/.

WPVelo said...

98thst!

bikesgonewild said...

...not mentioned here was the 'dutch tulip bubble of 1637' wherein the price of the bulbs had skyrocketed to astronomical heights for the wealthy who favored them...

...the tulip was only introduced to holland in 1593, so within less than 45 years, it went from an unknown plant to the point of actually being utilized as currency, wherein particular bulbs sold for the modern equivalent of $1250.00 to $2500.00 (yup - 25 hundred bucks for 1 bulb)...

...at that point, in early 1637, the bubble burst when someone 'dropped the bulb' & within days, tulip bulbs were priced at 1/100th of their previous worth...

...now, i have to look at that (all true) & think that the dutch are either inestimable geniuses or clueless fucking idiots, but admirable one way or another...

...i leave you to draw your own conclusions but i felt if
bsnyc/rtms/wcrm is gonna make us talk 'dutch' regularly then best we be better prepared...

...so, stick that in your bakfiets & pedal it around the block...

bikesgonewild said...

...100 what ???..

Nationwide Auto Loan said...

I like the stick, it's very recognized. I'd buy a stick for bicycling, if it were French and super-expensive for no justification.

dux de lux said...

what the fuck, over... ride like what european low land?

i don't think so... france, maybe...

Maurice & Astrid said...

Spike boarding. Looks like a gondola pilot keeping in shape during the off season. Is this a fixed gear gondola?

Squirmin' Herman Cain said...

I have paid dearly for twolips in the past....

Dee said...

Queenslander first! Ok, I know everyone else is finished, but it is tomorrow here so I am first. Queensland would be quite thrilled to host a visit from the Snob while he explores his options. We think it is quite nice, but it is no Copenhagen

Anonymous said...

Dee,
Honey, you are not first. You got dropped. Autobus baby, enjoy the view.

Billy said...

Great thing about the internet and blogs is that when you think of a snappy comeback or answer to a question a day later, you can still come back and post it! Doesn't make me any less lame, but at least I can get it out there.

@Anonymous at 2:16 PM:

You don't need a helmet, but not because cycling is safe. It's because a helmet won't do you one bit of good if you get hit by a car, such as in that whirling vortex of crushing doom that is the Prospect Park rotary.

A helmet will help you if you fall off your bike or run into something at a low speed, but that's about it.

A 30 mph car hits you and the helmet is really only useful for scooping up your brains when the janitors show up to clean the area. That's why motorcyclists often refer to *their* helments as "brain buckets".

So with that cheery thought, ride safe and enjoy the lovely weather!

Anonymous said...

Billy - A helmet makes for a nicer corpse. Do you really want your mom having to have a closed casket?

cycle

Been hit. Ain't much fun.

Anonymous said...

If you have ever hit your head on the ground then you will understand fully the convience of a healment.

Anonymous said...

But I still do not always rub one.

Billy said...

I wear my safety society badge aka helment all the time.

I have also hit my head in a few low speed incidents, never with a car though.

I'd rather people ride than not, helments or no, though.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, more vehicular cycling or IMAFUCKINGKILLYOU!
*hic!*

OMR said...

Lovely shoes ! It's perfect for the summer

http://www.xtraorbit.com/1366.html

Jack Olivia said...

Very good, Best Regards,CEO of Make Making Money

sports handicapping services said...

hello I love the site entertains me a lot

Robert said...

That guy looks hardcore!

Anonymous said...

HD kaliteli porno izle ve boşal.
Bayan porno izleme sitesi.
Bedava ve ücretsiz porno izle size gelsin.
Liseli kızların Bedava Porno ve Türbanlı ateşli hatunların sikiş filmlerini izle.
Siyah karanlık odada porno yapan evli çift.
harika Duvar Kağıtları bunlar
tamamen ithal duvar kağıdı olanlar var
2013 Beyaz Eşya modeller
Sizlere Güvenlik Sistemleri ayarliyoruz
Arayin Hırdavat bulun
Samsung Nokia İphone Cep telefonu alin.
Super Led Tv keyfi

Amatör Porno - Amcik Porno - Anal Porno - Asyali Porno - Bakire Porno - Erotik Porno - Esmer Porno - Fantazi Porno - Gay Porno - Götten Porno - Grup Porno - Hard Porno - HD Porno - Hemsire Porno - Latin Porno - Lezbiyen Porno - Liseli Porno - Olgun Porno - Oral Porno - Rokettube - Sarisin Porno - Sert Porno - Tecavüz Porno - Travesti Porno - Türbanli Porno - Türk Porno - Ünlü Porno - Yasli Porno - Zenci Porno - Kari Koca Porno - Hayvanli Porno