Friday, February 24, 2012

RHSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

Here in New York City, we've been experiencing preternaturally springlike weather.  Ordinarily this would please me, but as I get older and increasingly crotchety I now just find it unsettling.  The whole thing's just too strange for me, and I don't know whether to go out and ride my bike or start digging a bomb shelter for the Apocalypse.

Nevertheless, yesterday I decided on the former, and though I didn't have much time to spare I did manage to slip into my Fred costume and ride a bicycle with drop bars in circles around Prospect Park. It was sunny and warm, and eventually my suspicion gave way to enjoyment.  As Mario Cipollini once said, "The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."  (Actually, now that I think about it, that was Oscar Wilde.  I believe the famous Mario Cipollini quote was, "Please make the sit on my face.")  Similarly, as I always like to say, "The only thing better than sneaking in a bike ride on an unseasonably warm day is sneaking in a bike ride on an unseasonably warm day and also spotting the noble and elusive Y-Foil:"


A finer example of this sadly extinct breed you're unlikely to see, and it's even got the amber tires to match the amber frame.  Of course, when admiring a Y-Foil in the wild it's important to be quiet, since they scare easily and when startled they can trap you in their frames and punch holes in your body with their exposed seatposts.  I've seen people die this way, and it's not pretty.  In fact, the only thing more dangerous than startling a wild Y-Foil is sneaking up on a faired recumbent:

 

Frankly, the maker of this video is fortunate to be alive, and he should thank his lucky beard he wasn't sucked into the cockpit and devoured whole.  (Or, worse, the rider could have been in there, in which case he would have bored the filmmaker to death with his observations about efficiency and aerodynamics.)  Anyway, I like the part where he says the recumbent looks "like a little bullet," though I was thinking it looks a lot more like a suppository.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you'll be ecstatic, and if you're wrong you'll see evil Dutch pro-bike propaganda.  (Which, depending on your own personal smugness quotient, might also make you ecstatic.)

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and beware of rabid Y-Foils.


--Wildcat Rock Machine





1) Belt drive is out; ______ _____ is in.

--Shaft drive
--Direct drive
--String drive
--Quartz drive





(Fiets of strength.)

2) The dutch word "fiets," which means "bicycle," is linguistically descended from a German phrase meaning:

--"Replacement horse"
--"Substitute mule"
--"Auxiliary stallion"
--"Crotch chariot"






("Eureka!")

3) David Byrne discovered the bicycle.

--True
--False







(Police accessories for your Segway: So hot right now.)

4) The hot new accessory for your replacement horse is:

--The cockpit-mounted periscope
--The on-board nail clipper
--The suede top tube pad
--The houseplant






5) This rider's helment is an homage to which "Star Wars" character?

--R2-D2
--C-3PO
--Frodo
--Chewbaccadiah the Mennonite Wookiee






("Electronic yodeling pickle?"  Is that what they're calling them now?)

6) Pickle delivery by bike!  Must be:

--Portland
--Portland
--San Francisco
--Portland







7) Artisanal jerky and artisanal springs!  Must be:

--Portland
--Portland
--Brooklyn
--Portland




***Special Technology-Themed Bonus Question***




Breakaway _______:

--Bicycles
--Saddles
--Mirrors
--Sweatpants

123 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, and Scranus.

Anonymous said...

Sweep?!

Anonymous said...

I'd like to officially announce my retirement.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm, this is getting a little weird... Where. Is everybody?

Marcel Da Chump said...

Ugh! Brief Jerky.

McFly said...

Top 10

McFly said...

top 8

McFly said...

feels great

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

No comment.

singlespeedwaster said...

I'm seventh, son....roughly

Anonymous said...

Panties!

Anonymous said...

PAnties!

Anonymous said...

These panties are makin' me thirsty!!

Anonymous said...

Early Post?
Stealth mode to thwart BGW?

Got stuff to do,right, Snobby?

Me too.

(Door Slams)

Keith Earickson said...

I've got the beard, now how do I get me one of those pooper pill bikes, trikes?

Anonymous said...

I seen the new Blog name!

I'm so observant!

What do I win?

g said...

Replacement Horse Snob New York City, now with new acronym!

samh said...

Got 'em all wrong. SCRANUS!

samh said...

Got 'em all wrong. SCRANUS!

g said...

How many names does that make now?
BSNYC, RTMS, WCRM and RHSNYC? Did I miss anything?

Anonymous said...

Mmmm, beef jerky with bacon strips!

Anonymous said...

had a y-foil for ten years. finally got bored of all the whoo-hoo comments.

Blog Drafter said...

Been a while since the last Cipollini joke. This was a good one.

I'm thinking those bike planters put up high on the seat tube would actually be very useful for holding spare change, gels, crack rocks, etc.

Also, Specialized sucks!

theEel said...

WEekEnD!

Quilled and Lugged said...

We got the sunshine over here. Beach weather in the Bay Area

Anonymous said...

Bradley told me to tell you he's choosing you out. Meet at the bike cage after school. Your ass is grass.

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who noticed that the QR skewer on the front wheel of the spring bike is spinning in the video? A truly strange bike... where the skewers rotate with the wheel...

Dr. Feelgood said...

Abouyee! Beef Jerky Time!

Billy said...

Early post today. I wasn't on the lookout for it.

Billy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Wouldn't that faired recumbent be awfully hot? At least on bicycles the airflow over your body more or less matches up with the effort of propelling forward. Maybe it's for Recumbabe, overcome with modesty and worried about high-speed descents where the wind can do funny things to exposed flesh.

Anonymous said...

What defines Dutch cycling?

̶B̶i̶c̶y̶c̶l̶e̶ ̶c̶y̶c̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ Replacement Horse-riding without a helment.

Anonymous said...

Top 40 with Casey Kasem!

Anonymous said...

Gone riding...

Anonymous said...

I saw the elusive Y-foil yesterday too. On the back of a Hummer on the freeway!

Billy said...

@Anon 12:17: Velomobiles generally have vents that can be opened or closed to cool the rider as needed. Kind of like the old 2-60 AC I had in my first car (two windows rolled down + 60 mph).

Billy said...

I was so sure that the artisan bicycle pickles were Portland! I was ready for you on the brief jerky question, though. And after looking at bustedcarbon.com, I was sure you were talking about breakaway saddles. Though watching that mirror get smashed off was a nice bit of schadenfreude. Dude didn't even use his u-lock!

DerZoots said...

These quizzes are getting tricky.
Photos that don't correlate with the answer.
RHSNYC is expecting more from us than BSNYC I think.

I like it.

Weekend WEED NOW!!!!!

Pebes said...

i loved that dutch video. and not a helment in sight.

deleted comment said...

This author was removed by the content.

Some jerk from the Bay Area said...

Oh Mister Bikesnob, do not mock Boozly's until you've had a Zeitgiest Bloody Mary. Hmm, I might gpo get one right now, it's Friday after all.

GeoRestricted Fred said...

The Classics start tomorrow!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO

JB said...

bustedcarbon.com has temporarily cured me of crabon lust.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Some Jerk from the Bay Area,

1) Where did I mock?

2) I have not had one, but I have sat across from one.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

I DFL more than team dfl combined.

REAL DFLR

Anonymous said...

"Systematically and mercilessly disassembling, flushing, greasing, and re-packing the equine culture" ?

Buffalo Bill said...

You can really hurt your hand punching a mirror like that. I would have used a shoe.

Doug said...

"Life is brief, and then you die". Steve Jobs. He always was a man ahead of his time.

jimbo said...

crud

Captain Hardbread said...

69 first time comment
I feel specialized! two name changes since I've been reading
my replacement horse ate my house plant
when it rains I take the stage coach

McFly said...

MILF on a BAKEFEETS IN BLACK PANTYHOSE! My fave. Those Dutch are still running/rocking/palping/rubbing manual umbrella's...wasssupwidat? What was the integrated umbrella setup the girl in the green hotshorts intoduced us to called? Speaking of rubbing.

Captain Hardbread said...

oh and Meat Panties!

bikesgonewild said...

...FINALLY...a wrong answer video that's fun & worth watching several times over...'yaaa' for the dutch !!!...

...props to dfl's bradley for getting himself in a pickle (business)...good guy...

...hoping for time to ride my 'pejorative synonym' 'cuz the weather here in the sf bay area is beyond nice...it'd like denicefull, it's nicetastical...it's even awenicesome...

...enjoy...

Cipo said...

eating pussy

J. Bustamante said...

That Frodo helment is genius. Looks like i'm taking a trip to portland just for that.

CommieCanuck said...

The Classics start tomorrow!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOO


I'm sure 2012 will see no allegations of doping.


(snicker)

bikesgonewild said...

...sorry, doug but the old saying that steve jobs plagiarized was "...life is hard, then you die..."...

...while his life was kinda brief & he did have a certain vision, he also rode the backs of a lot more creative people than he...

...& apparently rode them with a whip...

CommieCanuck said...

"Life is brief, and then you die". Steve Jobs. He always was a man ahead of his time.

Actually, that is taken out of context, the full jobs quote was: "Life is brief, and then you die, but first get out of that suicide net or no $1.73 for you this hour".

CommieCanuck said...

bustedcarbon.com is supported by Everti Bikes.
Everti titanium bikes, which ironically use crabon fiber forks, because forks aren't important.

If it weren't for busted crabon Zipps, where would people rest their coffee mugs in bike cafes?

CommieCanuck said...

Favorite comment on bustedcarbon:

I'm a CoFounder of HeadsUp Systems. We're a really new product in the market - started shipping to retailers just before Thanksgiving. I'm not going to sit here plugging our product, but we created it b/c I've run 2 bikes into the garage and it happens all the time.

So, the second time this idiot ran his bikes into his garage, he had a business epiphany, "...wait...honey...what if, what if , there are more people as stupid as we are who drive around and forget we have bikes on top of our cars? Mortgage the house again, sell the Segwey, let's launch an IPO."

wishiwasmerckx said...

I believe the accurate quote is:

"Life's a bitch, and them you marry one..."

Anonymous said...

McFly, oh, the cameltoe girl?

Niiiice...

bikesgonewild said...

...when the time comes, it ain't gonna be portland in the 'allied van' crosshairs...

...all signs point to an eventual 'bike snob of the greater san francisco bay area'...no matter what portlanders say, WE got the weather, WE got the bike scene (as good as anything p-landers can offer) & WE got bradley's fucking pickles...

...wait & see...once the family's bubbas can live without seeing the little bike snobubbala as often as now & with promises from bike snob & mrs bikesnob to visit regularly, the exodus will be on...

..."...oy vey, who woulda thought...our little luftmensh, eban, all grown up...we though his bicycle stories on the computer was all meshuggina but now...it's like he found a pearl...the move, it's for the little one, he wants for a better life than brooklyn, so maybe it's right...who knows but why kvetch, i say mazel tov..."...

...i'm just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

What is the whirled coming too?

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/bik/2868985919.html

Some Jerk from the Bay Area said...

You came all the way from Brooklyn and got a hefeweizen instead of a Zeitgeist Bloody Mary?
I thought you East Coast guys were supposed to be savvy!

mikeweb said...

Top 70?? I blame the Saki with lunch...

Imagine, if you will, Rosie O'Donnell wearing the brief jerky.

If that doesn't turn you vegetarian, I don't know what will.

Quilled and Lugged said...

Bay Area take-over of the comments section, yeay! And we should be out getting a tan.

bikesgonewild said...

...mikeweb...so, were you drinking sake whilst reading kobayashi's saki during lunch ???

bikesgonewild said...

...quilled & lugged...ya, huh ???...could it be any nicer for this time of year...

...mikeweb...re: rosie o'donnels meat panties...what's scary is the attractive chicks she gets to go down on those jerky briefs...

...just sayin'...

mikeweb said...

@bgw,

Yes, drinking and not reading.

And misspelling as well, so it seems.

don the cyclist said...

72

bikesgonewild said...

...mikeweb...almost self explanatory, huh ???...no worries...

...you should try sf sushi & sake sometime...

...just sayin'...

don the cyclist said...

Freikle

don the cyclist said...

Fist pickle

BikeSnobNYC said...

Some Jerk From the Bay Area,

I felt like a beer, what can I say? Anyway, good Bloody Marys aren't exactly hard to come by in New York. Burritos on the other hand, that's another story.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

wishiwasmerckx said...

Sushi restaurant waitress(Korean version): "Sake, Sake, Sake..."

Me: "Bomb,Bomb, Bomb..."

wishiwasmerckx said...

BGW, for an alter cocker Canuck, your Yiddish is surprisingly good, and with that Golden Boy Prince Valiant haircut, don't try to convince us that you are a MOT (Member of our Tribe, for those of you not in the know...)

Tim Joe said...

Nice bemused Bloody Mary pose, Wild Crackrock Machine. Now I'm thirsty.

bikesgonewild said...

...wishiwasmerckx...nope...but i get around, ya ???...

...that & i've been lost in my own wilderness for a long damn time...

McFly said...

I thought BGW was a hot cougar for 6 mo with those blonde locks...then I clicked on the profile...then I felt icky, awkward, and gross (I threw up in my mouth a little). I came to terms with my misconception a made a vow to be obsessed with hetro sex. Hot Belgian Women, on bakefeets, in skirt, with kids in tow(in push?).....ahhhhhhhh, the TRIFECTA of MILF.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Well maybe tomorrow I'll get out the old recumbent replacement horse and go for a ride.

pardners

Anonymous said...

i was saw robin williams riding a yellow zipp y wing bicycle in golden gate park.

it squeaked as he pedaled.

i was embarrassed for him and looked away, avoiding eye contact.

it was even more awkward than seeing mike sinyard at hellyer on his $12,000 hotta carbon track bike back in 99... by far.

Whiny Little Nebbish said...

You see, I told you I could write a good column when I'm not hyperventilating about the self-righteous Greenies and the evil Repubplicans.

Oh, sorry but I just can't help myself: fuck you.

Anonymous said...

Breakaway biscuits, surely?

hey nonny mouse

Fireball Zoot Japp said...

Wouldn't 'The Spring Classics' be just a bit more classic if several jump ramps were added to the course? For distance of course. With 1st, 2nd & third awarded time bonuses and extra sleepie time with podium girls?

leroy said...

Still trying to convince my dog to go to the Brooklyn Flea one weekend.

He says the name bugs him.

But he seemed to like the artisanal Kings County beef jerky I picked up there last weekend.

Not enough to change his name to Kings County Beef Jerky like some folks who shall remain nameless.

And now that I think about it, Brooklyn Flea sounds like a name for someone in a local Red Hot Chili Peppers tribute band.

And KCBJ just sounds wrong.

Ride fleafully all!

MrDaveyGie said...

I have one thing to say about this, I would love to ride that Suppository.

bikesgonewild said...

...sheesh, mcfly...i guess i need a bigger avatar foto...

...while the long blond hair might fool ya, i woulda thought the huge red sideburns would be a turnoff but hey, who am i to make judgement calls on the kinda chicks you're into, bro...

...& i'm not sayin' there's anything wrong with that, i'm just sayin'...

Tom Boonen said...

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McFly said...

15:30:33 CET


Boonen and Hushovd are 33 seconds behind the two leaders. The Belgian looks incredibly strong as he gets out of the saddle. He's not afraid to lead from the front and put the others under pressure.

McFly said...

But inside the final 150 metres, it's Vamarcke who comes past and claims the win. An upset in Ghent, as Boonen comes home in second. Flecha third

GeoRestricted Fred said...

Look at that.
A Garmin rider won the Omloop.

WWWWOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

all the way down here said...

no-one is going to read this

The professor said...

"Quote" is a verb. The noun is quotation. Not that anybody cares. And yes, you can quote me on that.

Anonymous said...

all the way down here said...
"no-one is going to read this"

Ha Ha!

These panties are makin' me thirsty. Plus, now I got meat stuck in my teeth.

bikesgonewild said...

..."...Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted."...

...hey, i'm only quoting someone else...

GeoRestricted Fred said...

Hey, I'm never going to read this.
Better get going then.

Dooth said...

I like the music of the Meat Puppets. Check out: TOO HIGH TO DIE. But if I were a real fan, I'd listen to them whilst Brief Jerky attired.

DerZoots said...

100.
Just watched Foxy Brown.
Slaughter is handling business right now.
Weedevening to you all.

DerZoots said...

Fuck it.
One Hundred and
FIRST!

JDH said...

Who the fuck is David Byrne, and why does he think HE discovered the bicycle?

Replacement Whores said...

THESE PANTIES ARE MAKIN' ME THIRSTY!

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Alexander Nikolaevich Vinokourov said...

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McFly said...

Well well, I do believe someone just one-up'd my sex obsession.

ce said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ce said...

WhateverSnob, I happened to learn something today that I thought you might find interesting: In the late 1860's the first ever typewriter was referred to as the "literary piano".

It would seem fitting for an author and replacement zine writer by the name of ReplacementHorseSnobNYC to refer to their computer as the "replacement literary piano". Or better yet, given that the personal computer is now such a multifunctional instrument, "literary electronic keyboard music synthesizer".

If the logic there is too convoluted, I'd suggest you be categorical and go with "replacement typewriter/telephone/television/VCR/radio/newspaper/trading post/magazine/postcard/photo album/library/oral tradition/board game/street directory/phone directory/shop/post office/conference room/stalker's room with photos all over the wall/soap box/toilet cubicle partition/notice board/Victoria's Secret catalogue".

Yeah it's a bit long, but it's not like you're afraid of acronyms.

ce said...

McFly, regarding profile pictures, I just wanted to compliment you on your choice of yellow tank top. Bret would be proud.

Sorry for the interruption, you're free now to go back to thinking about whatever it is that you predominantly think about.

McFly said...

Your welcome. Actually I beat her to the restaurant by 6 ft so "technically" I was in yellow. That was a few years back in my Fred days, I am in Primal stage now.

McFly said...

I also went from steel is real to crabon as this image depicts. Also, sex.

jooknboolie said...

Now I've got that Bon Jovi song stuck in my head...
"Ima cowboy; On a replacement horse I ride. 'Cuz I'm wanted... (WAANTED!) dead or uhlaaahv".

Nationwide Auto Loan said...

I'm considering those motorcycle plant containers put up high on the chair pipe would actually be very useful for positioning extra modify, solutions, break stones, etc.

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