Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Breaking the Chain: Feeling Contrary

When I was an adolescent, I began forming strong opinions about our culture and our world.  These opinions were informed almost entirely by Dead Kennedys albums, and they had almost no basis in actual life experience--not least of all because I had no actual life experience.  Nevertheless, I was enraged by all manner of injustices.  For example, I knew--knew--that evangelical Christians were determined to rob me of my freedom of expression, even though I had never, ever encountered an evangelical Christian, and even though my only exposure to religious fundamentalism had been via other kids whose parents made them keep kosher during Pesach which meant that for a week we had to eat at Pizza Pious instead of at the regular Italian pizzeria.

As I got older, however, I "matured," and my outlook on life became more pragmatic.  I no longer grouped things into "good" and "evil" categories based on where they fell on the Jello Biafra Outrage Scale.  (The more shrilly Jello Biafra sings about something the more evil it was.)  I no longer automatically rejected anything "mainstream," and I stopped assuming that anything that was part of the mainstream was somehow automatically tainted.  Most of all, I laughed at my own naïveté, I dropped the attitude, and I got down to the non-ideological business of becoming an adult.

But then, years later, something amazing happened, and I realized that all those albums I used to listen to were right.  Well, maybe they weren't right about a lot of the specifics, but it turns out that the general message--that mainstream culture is vacuous and bankrupt--is pretty much entirely correct.  The truth is, from birth we're all steeping in a tea of cultural dumbassery, and unless we wake up and pull ourselves out of it we become infused with idiocy for life.  Or, to use another metaphor, if we don't clear the cookies from our mental cache then over time our consciousness is basically just reduced to spam and pop-up windows.  Yes, this is the default browser setting on the typical American brain:

 

Actually, I'm not sure if he's American, since he mentions kilometers and Americans only understand the metric system in the context of illegal drugs.  Also, he says "aboot."  Therefore, I assume he's Canadian, and it makes me sick to to think that if he were to crash into a tree while filming one of his stupid "vlogs" that he'd actually be entitled to complimentary medical attention.  This may just be the stupid American in me talking, but the fact is that sometimes heath care should not be universal, and this is one of those times.

Indeed, from our smallest towns to our largest cities, and from our highest mountains to our plainest plains, and from our fanciest Starbucks to our filthiest Starbucks where the homeless all go to the bathroom, America is full of obstinate morons who just say stupid things and cockblock for no reason.  Consider the Prospect Park West bike lane in Brooklyn, and the handful of supreme douche-wallahs who live next to it:


It's a bike lane.  It's painted green.  The city put it there so people could ride their bikes without dying.  There is still plenty of room for the driving and the parking of cars.  Why is this a problem?  Why did the douche-wallahs sue the city to have it taken out, and why, after they failed, are they now appealing the decision and trying again?  Just leave it there, you idiots!  This is what's happening--New York City is getting bike lanes now so the rest of the civilized world will stop laughing at us.  Sure, you can try to reverse it and pretend it never happened, just like those guilt-ridden "born-again virgins" do, but in both cases the denial really isn't helping.  You're better off just reconciling yourself to the fact that it went in, and you might as well just learn how to enjoy it, because once it's in riding on it is actually a lot of fun.

Still, I'm sure the douche-wallahs will figure out some novel new anti-bike lane tactic.  For example, a reader just sent me this photo taken on the bike lane in question:


As you can see, someone has appropriated the wheels of a Cadillac Escalade and left it sitting on blocks.  I'm tempted to laugh, but it's only a matter of time before the douche-wallahs start arguing that the bike lane simply encourages auto theft by giving the thieves more room to work--and while nobody in America really cares if you get run over by an SUV on your bicycle, we have no tolerance for the molestation of our SUVS.  By the way, don't ask me how I know, but it turns out you can carry four Escalade wheels on the back of a Big Dummy.  No telling yet how they'll look mounted up on my new car, but once I've installed them I'll let you know:


Speaking of sweet custom vehicles, it's almost time for the North American Handmade Bicycle Situation, brought to you once again by Don Walker:


This year's installment will take place in Sacramenty, Californy.  NAHBS is a Don Walker production and registered trademark of Don Walker Enterprises, and anyone who attempts to so much as show another person a handmade bicycle within 100 miles of the Sacramento Convention Center during that time will be shot, or exquisitely lugged, or both.

The 2012 NAHBS will also mark the official kickoff of the Gates Belt Drive Anti-Bicycle Chain Conspiracy:


Not content with automotive industry domination, Gates now want to take over the sole aspect of a bicycle to which a belt is in any way even remotely applicable, and they're starting by infiltrating the custom bike scene:



Even if you didn’t ride your single-speed cyclocross or city bike today, you probably used a Gates product to move around.


Gates has a hundred-year history providing mechanical components for a whole host of industrial applications, including things like the timing belt and hoses in your car’s engine.

Yes, they use belts in cars, so that means they belong on your bicycle--even though it doesn't have any of the parts that would require a timing belt in the first place.  (As for whether an engine timing belt is preferable to an engine timing chain, I will defer to any automotive experts on that one.)  Of course, if you insist on comparing bicycles with internal combustion vehicles then a more relevant question might be whether or not belts are used on motorcycles as a final drive (as opposed to opening and shutting valves or powering fans), and indeed the answer is yes--but mostly on the big farty ones:

(Belty and farty.)

Whereas the performance ones pretty much all use chains:

(Chainy and speedy.)

Even the ones that race in the mud:


Given this, I can see the belt might be a reasonable option on a bicycle on which low maintenance is of far greater concern than performance:


Though when you consider that chain maintenance on a bicycle like this amounts to doing pretty much nothing anyway it seems like a moot point.  Then again, I've already reached my Retrogrouch Breaking Point, and my experiences with the Belt Drive Freakout Bike may have dampened my enthusiasm for belts irrevocably--therefore I may have officially become one of those people who has no business opining on new technology.

Plus, I'm still slightly conspiracy-minded thanks to all those Dead Kennedys records, so I worry that once Gates gets a foothold in the bicycle world they'll start adding all sorts of accessories to bikes that also require additional belts, and before we know it we'll be riding around like this:



It's clean and low maintenance, except for the thrice-monthly tension adjustments and $500 timing belt changes.

131 comments:

bikesgonewild said...

...woulda, shoulda, coulda...blah, blah, blah...

Anonymous said...

Podium

Anonymous said...

Podium
Finally.

theEel said...

weed1st!

Mike in Dallas said...

Podium?

Anonymous said...

BGW?
WTF?
Rose Ruiz ?

jplf said...

top ten!

jplf said...

top ten!

JB said...

Wheee!

Paul said...

Aww.

g said...

top ten?!

g said...

DAMMIT!

McFly said...

top 10

McFly said...

not

bikesgonewild said...

...@anon 1:22pm...bitch, it ain't rainin',so i didn't take no bus...

...got it ???...

Kenny Banya said...

"Too drunk...too drunk to fuck"

Smovlov said...

Read it and stuff

Anonymous said...

"Speaking of sweet custom vehicles.."

Segue Score: 1 out of a possible 10

If we don't at least try, Donny wins.

Spencer said...

http://www.statesman.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/austin/blotter/entries/2012/02/21/man_killed_in_crash_on_guadalu.html

mikeweb said...

bgw, FTW!!

So would putting the Gates product on a Mt. Bike result in having a belt and suspenders?

WCRM, I don't know if your JBOS scale holds water. In 'Holiday in Cambodia' when he chants Pol Pot over and over, it's in a very low pitch. From what I've heard, Pol Pot was pretty evil.

Perrico Delgado said...

Top 50! Hold ma dick!

pebes said...

i hate belts. I use an old piece a' rope to keep my pants up.

Anonymous said...

MC Puto?

A Puto is a Filipino rice bun or/and a hooker.

bikesgonewild said...

...btw, bsnyc/rtms/wcrm...please tell me how that 'mature adult' thingy works out for you...

...obviously it's something i haven't worked out yet...

...but i will be at the 'nahbs' in sacto on sat/sun...

...just sayin'...

Buffalo Bill said...

Once Vic Toes has MCRunsoverbikes IP address, he will no longer be able to broadcast child pornography, so we'll all be that much safer.

He can still run you over if you don't ride on the sidewalk though, that's Canadian justice for ya.

Anonymous said...

Scranus

not a lawyer, but... said...

These guys posting videos saying how they want to run over cyclists better be especially careful not to do so. These videos would almost certainly serve as evidence proving malice aforethought.

bencott said...

nice bottle cage on the bottom of the down tube. there's a little salt for your margarita.

Buy-cycle said...

3 helpings of recumbabe. I'm spent.

Anonymous said...

The Budnitz is using limited custom day glow green belt drives.

Jimbo said...

"from birth we're all steeping in a tea of cultural dumbassery"

pure gold!

make mine chai please

crosspalms said...

If that's the Bill Gates belt drive, they'll soon be making bike makers pay licensing fees whether they use belts or not.

Anonymous said...

It went in.




balls™

Anonymous said...

California Uber Alles!

Terre Haute Karl said...

Whenever I see "NAHBS" I keep hearing voices in my head, speaking in a Boston accent, saying "Ahra, suck ah nahbs".

Anonymous said...

I wonder if Budnitz has listened to DK or Dayglow Abortions?

JB said...

@ bencott 1:43: better than a nic cage on fire. /fail

Anonymous said...

@BGW

Seems like that farty belt drive works really good for your sprint. Sponsorship opportunities?

Anonymous said...

"if we don't clear the cookies from our mental cache then over time our consciousness is basically just reduced to spam and pop-up windows. "

amen, brother

db said...

Have you ever had to replace the timing chain on your car? Me neither. I did do a head gasket once though... Anyways, chain-y (not cheney) 4lyfe!

Anonymous said...

The Budnitz would like to offer BGW a sponsorship.
No 1?
Or
No 2?

grog said...

Thank loby! Bits of Babe all over the placey. Thanky Snobby.
Ya, belts don't belong on bikes.

Anonymous said...

Even on a Dutch bike, a belt is going to be a problem. The consensus on the framebuilder forums is that alignment of the chainring and the cog is crucial, and the tail has to be a lot stiffer than on a regular chain-driven bike. Not to mention that you need some way to break the chainstay or seatstay to get the belt on and off. So you're adding weight, but for what gain?

leroy said...

I wondered what was going on when I passed the cops in the PPW bike lane. There were two patrol cars and four cops investigating the missing SUV tires.

There is a crime wave boomlet in Brooklyn of stealing auto tires. I think it's a retro artisanal thing, a return to the early '80s when crime was crack-fueled and homemade.

Speaking of crime and drugs, BGW please report to doping control.

And don't take my dog up on his offer to take the test for you. He's a canine non grata since that unfortunate misunderstanding when he delivered his sample by marking territory.

Dr. Feelgood said...

Another bike hater who doesn't know the law (vis-a-vis "ride on the sidewalk"); refreshing! Of course he seems to be motivated by safety as opposed to DonnieDuh but he somehow doesn't see the irony as he makes a vblog while driving. That man is so sharp, he should be Rick Santorum's campaign manager.
By the way, I'd love to tell he and his ilk when they are contemplating making a statement; hum it and I'll smash your face.

streepo said...

NAHBS uber alles.

Scrantorum said...

Send me vblog guy. Need brains.

DerZoots said...

Fan powered.
Why do these types of people use bicycles for that kind of thing?
Just buy the motorcycle and be done with it.

wishiwasmerckx said...

BGW, not bad for ab old fart. I think that you should take your recent form as evidenced by your podium finishes and convert it into a new world hour record attempt in the centenarian category.

http://velonews.competitor.com/2012/02/news/centenarian-claims-hour-record_206632

wishiwasmerckx said...

For those of you poetically inclined, Snobby's major thesis is the theme of Foss's "The Calf-Path."

http://holyjoe.org/poetry/foss3.htm

Piskian said...

Noone commented on the fact that as a child you know the score,after that you get sucked in,hopefully after uni you realise that as a naif you knew best and that the Western world is a totally artificial construct and you were right alll along.
Though most of your commmentators are North Americans,so no wonder.

Blog Drafter said...

Fundamentalism is the process of making yourself right and everyone else wrong so that you can be as mentally comfortable as possible in this big, blue, confusing world.

BTW, Snob, is Jeebus of LOB or is Jeebus descended from LOB? You know, the whole Filioque thing. Just wondering in case a holy war breaks out on this. I'd like to know what side to be on.

Anonymous said...

Crabon drives now be the word
The idea is simply a turd

Thanks to this company of Gates
Crabon replace metal as of late

related to the foundation its not
or else greater topics be ought

American makes for wants to satisfy
McDonald's, Coke, movies to dullify

McFly said...

BS,
The reason racing/off road motorcycles use chains is because of the suspension travel. You would likely get tooth overlap if you tried a belt offroad due to the amount of tension(1 1/4" to 1 3/8") you would need to run/rock/palp/rub. Plus chains are more better. Heck, you may already have tooth overlap.

dcee604 said...

no doubt aboot it!

wishiwasmerckx said...

3-series BMW's from the early 80's had a rubber timing belt instead of a chain, which guaranteed an engine rebuild after the predictable failure. They were especially poorly suited for hot climates such as Phoenix.

Anonymous said...

kill kill kill kill kill the poor
kill kill kill kill kill the poor
kill kill kill kill kill the poor
tonighihihite

Full Metal Jacket said...

This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Marcel Da Chump said...

That androgynous anti-cycling driver is a woman. Therefore, I can hurl a DK's lyric at him:
"ram it up your cunt!" (my apologies to anyone offended). The line is actually, "ram it up your cunt, Anita": Anita Bryant, the anti-gay activist.

Anonymous said...

PULL TO YOUR STERILE HOME, YOU'RE DRAINED!

BITE THE HEADS OFF OF YOUR KIDS

CHEW THEM WELL, THEY TASTE LIKE YOU

JUST SLAM THE DOOR.

Big Charlie said...

Sacramenty, eh? So how did ya came, you drove or did n you flew?

le Correcteur said...

Pack fodder's not good enough for me today; instead I'm trying to outsprint the lanterne rouge!

Love the Dead Kennedys and Jello references, WRC; and as usual your observations about American culture are wonderful because true and even insightful:

"The truth is, from birth we're all steeping in a tea of cultural dumbassery, and unless we wake up and pull ourselves out of it we become infused with idiocy for life. Or, to use another metaphor, if we don't clear the cookies from our mental cache then over time our consciousness is basically just reduced to spam and pop-up windows."

Wow, that describes so much, explains so much!

--le Correcteur

Anonymous said...

Wow, I really can't believe that the kid says "So my logic is, if they bike on the road, then it's okay to hit them." Seriously? Wow. I agree with notalawyer on this, he should avoid actually hitting cyclists anyways, but especially after declaring that he thinks people should actually do that.

Direct link to the youtube video here, in case anyone is feeling inspired to comment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkiSru33FBA

bikesgonewild said...

..."The Budnitz would like to offer BGW a sponsorship.
No 1?
Or
No 2?"
...

...well, i usually wake up a bit early for a number 1 & i might even go back & catch a few more winks before i'm up for my cup of tea & then it's definitely number 2 time...

McFly said...

http://thechive.com/2012/02/21/crazy-first-person-bike-race-through-town-video/

mikeweb said...

@Blog Drafter,

That's the best definition of fundamentalism I've ever heard. Is it OK if I steal it?

Well, either way, I'm using it anyway, but I won't claim credit.

Anonymous said...

Amen.

bikesgonewild said...

...leroy..."...speaking of crime & drugs..."...ohhh sure, you say that like i should be concerned...

...i can definitely pass that test...time well spent at the 'lance school for manipulative practices' taught me plenty...

..."now, mr mccquaid...should i make this check out to you personally or will this go to the uci to buy a new centrifuge..."...

Anonymous said...

Yes, rubber timing belt on car better than chain.

Lighter, spins faster, less likely to jam or snap under load.

Downside is changing belt at proper interval mileage, i.e. before it fails.

Anonymous said...

Snobby - on certain Hondas (love 'em) changing a timing belt at 80,000 will cost you $1,500 after they swap out the water pump.

cycle

crosspalms said...

McFly,
I had tooth overlap but my dentist fixed it. He says he really likes his new bike.

Billy said...

As an American, I prefer to percolate in a pot of idiocy. Steeping is for the Brits.

Belts seem like an awfully expensive way to solve a problem that's been solved since the 20s. I read about a 1957 Raleigh with a chaincase that's still on the original 1957 chain. Regular lubrication and a sealed environment do wonders.

I just hate that I have to go to Canada to get a decent bike with a chaincase.

Chains have the side benefit of making better improved weapons than belts, for use on dolts that think it's okay to murder other people for going slower than they are.

bikesgonewild said...

...wishiwasmerckx...

...i anticipate having enough drive so that 40 years from, i'll still be a podium contender for the highly advanced 'bike snob of the greater san francisco bay area' which will be a daily podcast from eban's winery in the napa valley...

...don't count me out, bud...today proves i'm not only good for the win but i've even got time to make up excuses for the guys i beat...

luciferyellow said...

More Dead Kennedys or Ima fuckin' kill ya!

Salty and Sore said...

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

NO!!

I refuse to give up acknowledging the venerated ascendancy of Jello Biafra!

I didn't color inside the lines as a kid, and I refuse to stay inside the lines (sometimes) as an adult!

long live jello!

Nebraska Bike Commuter (non DWI edition) said...

I don't know about Gates cog belts, but at the plant where I work we used to use Gates hose with our pneumatic lines and we switched to Goodyear because the Gates hose sucked. I know this because for the last 17 years I've been the main guy for making up and repairing air hoses.

And for that matter, all the drive belts I regularly service are not Gates, though non of them are cog belts. I'm pretty sure the few cog belts we do use aren't Gates either. So... whatever.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Nebraska Bike Commuter, what a cool job.

Me? I play piano in a whorehouse. It is not nearly as glamorous as it sounds.

McFly said...

So....you.....um....work almost exclusively with hoses and their repair and keeping them taught and full of pressure? So whats that like? (You see what I did there?)

McFly said...

Also, sex.

MAIN HOSE GUY said...

ALL YOU HATERS REPAIR MY HOSE

Anonymous said...

HOSE NAZI

Anonymous said...

I love it when she removes her hose...

Blog Drafter said...

Mikeweb @ 3:23

I'm flattered, please use freely. I actually ripped it from Leroy's dog, though.

mikeweb said...

@ BD,

Excellent! Since everyone knows dogs have no IP rights, I can make free money from it.

Unless Leroy's dog catches wise and deposits some of his non-intellectual property in my shoes, that is.

Anonymous said...

Fuck the Dead Kennedys. I wanna know what happened to Douche-wallah ever since they did that counting blue cars song.

Like nails on a chalkboard said...

For the love of God, why is MC Puta squawking like that at the beginning of his "vlog."

Anonymous said...

Dr. Feelgood got it right -- bikes in the road are the least of the Canuck dudette's problems. That videocam will get him before any bike does! I hope.

Nebraska Bike Commuter (non DWI edition) said...

@wishiwasmerckx; Mind you, that's just an extra duty given to me because my high dollar duties keep me in the area where the hoses get serviced. (also not as glamorous as it sounds)

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

Douche Machine,

What a beautifully spaced blog! And the video of that asshole, whose head I will surely cut off so that I may shit down his neck, is also centered correctly.

A+, you may hang your computer on the refrigerator.

Anonymous said...

The Budnitz would like to offer BGW a sponsorship.
No 1?
Or
No 2?

Whiny Little Nebbish said...

Life's not fair.
Wah wah wah.
If everyone thought like me, looked like me, and fucked like me the world would be oh so much a better place.

cheva said...

the vlog guy has been deported to Turkey. Claims he's not from there.

Jasper said...

Piskian said...
most of your commmentators are North Americans,so no wonder.

I say, steady on, old man, and watch your manners.

Mark David McGraw said...

you'll love this one. From my town in Texas where men are men and sheep and cyclists are scared. http://www.theeagle.com/police/Man-reportedly-put-bike-officers-at-risk--6982989 His excuse for trying to run the bike cops off the road and into parked cars? "I didn't know they were cops." So if they hadn't been cops it would have been perfectly understandable. Also - no charges filed for attempted vehicular homicide, just DWI and evading arrest.

deadlast said...

WCRM:

If nothing else, take the fact that you made the vlog guy set his video to private with this post. The f[l]apping of your butterfly wings has been felt.

McFly said...

Just watched the Tour of Qatar and that is hands down Gates Belts target demographic. All that sand is hard on chains. Yep, desert belts.

Mcfly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mcfly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bikesgonewild said...

...mcfly...'welcome to the dance'...

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 6:58pm...if the offer is real, i shan't look this particular gift horse in the mouth...

...i am a titanium guy through & through & to be honest, i'd love to rock a 'budnitz no. 1' w/ the 11 speed, fenders & a rack on which i'd mount some type of awesome bag setup...

...if this is a joke, it's a cruel one that i shall let pass with little to say & if not, i'd delighted to be a left coast budnitz boy...

...of course, my true answer would be in 'the ride'...

...just sayin'...

Mcfly said...

Well thank you

belts suck said...

My car would still be alive if it had a timing chain. (interference motor)

LK said...

Someone is taking his Viagra. Not me...I'm not that smart.

Just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

Wait, what? I took a couple of weeks off, I come back, and now BSNYC/RTMS has hybridized with the World Conference on Regenerative Medicine? How the fuck did that happen?

Perry said...

Heeey Now...MC Puto's vid has been "privatized".

JDH said...

@BGW-Podium! White lunch bag?

JDH said...

Ann 3:46-It's called a comprehensive repair. Costs just as much to change one as the other, so do it while you have them both out! Half the cost, no shit.

JDH said...

@Kenny Banya: Never been that drunk. Talk about wasted youth!

JDH said...

Good night. Sorry about the late posts, but it is Fat Tuesday.

bikesgonewild said...

...@jdh...i'm not gonna lie...'mom' packed a good one...

...as it sez in the bible @ deuteronomy 8: 2-3, again in matthew 4:4 & also in luke 4:4...

..."...man does not live by bread alone..." & that's been proven by every tom, dick & harry that's ever raced a bike on a pro level...

...so, yup...that little "white lunch bag" was very 'nourishing' !!!...

Matthew Hannigan said...

The faux-hawked dildo made his video private, I assume as a result of the increased traffic from this site. WOO HOO!

Reggie said...

I guess emcee Pluto wanted attention -- just as long as it wasn't in any way negative or, you know, factually accurate, or eager to point out childlike naivete. Dildo.

Two Testicled Boy said...

Jeff Mangum:"I went through a period, after Aeroplane , when a lot of the basic assumptions I held about reality started crumbling. I think that before then, I had an intuitive innocence that guided me and that was a very good thing to a certain point. But then I realized that, to a large degree, I had kept my rational mind at bay my whole life. I just acted on intuition in terms of how I related to life. At some point, my rational mind started creeping in, and it would not shut up. I finally had to address it and confront it. I think most intelligent people, at a younger age than I have, begin to question some of the fundamental assumptions our society promotes. But me, I just rejected it without even considering it."

Bearded Panda said...

more instructables fun
bamboo lazy boy bike

J Mertz said...

The future of bikeen is here! I can't believe I was able to do anything before these people showed me the light....Now I can be a douche when I carry my surfboard to get beat up at the beach!
http://www.fuseproject.com/products-63

David said...

Well, anyone whose childhood led him/her to believe that the concept of piety relates one way or the other to pizza is luck to escape childhood with even a shred of sanity. (I, too speak from experience.) Pious pizza? It's like getting the Pope to bless the bicycle you ride to run red lights and pick up Wednesday weed.

Anonymous said...

Dude, you gotta put those Escalade wheels ON the Big Dummy. I mean modify the forks and chain stays (by "modify" I mean "mangle beyond recognition"), bolt those suckers on, and ride. Sure, they'll be heavy, but you can at least use the now-appropriately named Big Dummy to intimidate the drivers of compact cars for a change. It's a Darwinian world, bike lanes or not. You gotta adapt to survive.

Anonymous said...

Panties!

Anonymous said...

What the hell, why not put a driveshaft on the bike and be done with it? Or should I keep this idea to myself until I can sell it to the schmucks at Specialized?

don the cyclist said...

kia rio timing belt $9.99 labor $250.00

Anonymous said...

Billy said...
"Belts seem like an awfully expensive way to solve a problem that's been solved since the 20s. I read about a 1957 Raleigh with a chaincase that's still on the original 1957 chain. Regular lubrication and a sealed environment do wonders.

I just hate that I have to go to Canada to get a decent bike with a chaincase."

The thing about us idiot Americans is, we are stupid enough to actually believe that faster is always better. So every moron with a bike is easily encouraged to dream that he's the second coming of Lance, and he'll be pacing Spartacus in the team time trial in France next year, but only if he runs out and buys that Specialized for twenty grand. In their heroic effort to make the next generation of bikes half a gram lighter, thus guaranteeing that you will pay 25 grand so you can leave Spartacus choking on your dust (and second-hand Wednesday weed smoke), despite your twenty-pound beer gut, Specialized will never make sealed cases. Not gonna happen. SHould happen.

glad im not merckx cuz now hes an old fat guy said...

wishiwasmerckx said...
"Nebraska Bike Commuter, what a cool job.

Me? I play piano in a whorehouse. It is not nearly as glamorous as it sounds."

I play whore in a piano house. Which is actually glamorouser than it sounds.

jplf said...

Ugh, it's annoying when people are idiots, but when idiots get embarrassed by their own idiocy...

One can hope they will stop being idiots, but we all know they'll just post more idiotic youtube videos when no one's looking.

jplf said...

Ugh, it's annoying when people are idiots, but when idiots get embarrassed by their own idiocy...

One can hope they will stop being idiots, but we all know they'll just post more idiotic youtube videos when no one's looking.

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Anonymous said...

What was clearly obvious in the video "What defines Dutch Cycling" is the absence of drop bars, spandex, and helmets; in other words, no "Freds." Sadly, in the U.S. Brent (the most famous fred) is marketed as the epitomy of U.S. cycling, from the cover of Bicycling Magazine to the mascot (or mascots) for organizations such as "Rails to Trails." I believe non "Fredly" slow bike riders are the 99%'s of the cycling world, while Brent represents the elite 1%. The Dutch, are the leaders in showing us that the 99%'s will be the ones who take back the streets and not the spanedex clad "Freds" who will never be taken seriously by anyone but themselves.

Nationwide Auto Loan said...

He can still run you over if you don't journey on the roads though, that's Canada the law for ya.

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Robert said...

This makes me facepalm, no way they're gonna get rid of it n, what's the point. Atleast there's consolation in the fact that they're wasting their own stupid money too.

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