Friday, December 9, 2011

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz! (Now With Electronic Shifting!)

One stereotype of "urban cyclists" is that they are entitled, self-obsessed people who adopt a veneer of rebellion and then play out their outlaw fantasies with no regard for anybody else around them, least of all their fellow cyclists. Like most stereotypes, this is patently unfair. I mean, where do people get these sorts of ideas? Certainly not from Lucas Brunelle:


As you may know, Lucas Brunelle is the filmmaker who parlayed a hardscrabble upbringing on the mean streets of Cape Cod into a career as an owner of "an IT company with more than a million dollars in revenue," as well as a sideline in filming himself and others racing in alleycats and riding on expressways:

Your new movie, Lucas Brunelle: Line of Sight, offers up hair-raising footage from Beijing, Boston, Dublin, New York, and Tokyo. What's the craziest stunt you've pulled?

In Miami, we rode on I-95 for 2 miles, and crossed three lanes of traffic. The cars were coming behind us at 60 or 70 miles an hour. When you're riding like that, the endorphins create this heightened sense of awareness. You notice a car veering in a distant lane or someone braking on an overpass.

Wow. So why does he do it? To inspire people of course:

Last year you spent $80,000 of your own money filming alleycats. Why?

Almost daily, I get e-mail from people who tell me I've inspired them to ride more. And they're taking risks in their lives. One person has cancer; now she's using her savings to travel. Another was in a relationship with someone she didn't love; she left. For a lot of people, "No, you can't" is a motto. I'm saying, "Hey, you can live life on your own accord."


Yes, Brunelle is a brave man, inspiring others to ride like idiots and boldly taking situations that aren't really dangerous, making them incredibly dangerous for no reason, and then filming them:

Do you ride like that even when you're picking up groceries?

Yes. Every seat I have is as sharp as a razor, so you always play to roll.

I don't even know what that means, though that could just be because I don't speak adrenalinese and am one of those workaday schmucks who doesn't understand the need to live in perpetual self-imposed fear:

Are you ever scared, riding like this?

I'm always scared—even if I'm going to the coffee shop I'm scared. You never know—the Lord has your number.


I wonder if Brunelle can do anything without turning it into a life-or-death adrenaline-fueled nonstop thrill ride. Does he also shower in a tub filled with vegetable oil while wearing a helmet cam and Rollerblades? And, were he to slip and fall, would it be because "the Lord had his number?" I'm not so sure. Contrary to popular belief, "the Lord" actually doesn't have everybody's number. Sometimes he only gets it because you keep giving it to Him and insisting that He call. (A-meh, and Holly Luau.)

But lest you think Brunelle is a selfish person who is unconcerned with the implications his vanity projects have for his fellow cyclists, you can rest assured that he is merely just a selfish person who is unconcerned with the implications his vanity projects have for his fellow cyclists:

Do you own a car?

I still have the police car. Haven't driven it in years. But I love cars. Fuck bike advocacy. It's the cars that make shit fun. Without cars, we couldn't do skitches off SUVs. We couldn't get bruised and cut up; we couldn't commiserate. I love traffic. It's an evil river, sure, but I love the city streets.


Yeah, fuck bike advocacy. Who needs bike lanes? Even the most mundane ride should end in cuts and bruises, and cyclists should all look like they lost a cockfight when they step up to order their espressos. Lucas Brunelle may need to swim in an "evil river" of deadly traffic because he resents his "homogenized" Cape Cod childhood, but what about the rest of us who just want to get places on our bicycles alive and unscathed? I guess we just don't know how to live.

Anyway, Brunelle's new film is called "Line of Sight," but he probably should have called it "Load of Bull." In the interview he claims that he and the riders he's filming are masterful cyclists who ride so deftly that drivers hardly notice them, but in the trailer all I see is a bunch of idiots falling down, getting honked at, and grazing pedestrians:



Though I do give Brunelle credit for sucessfully branding himself as the anti-David Byrne:

(Unlike Lucas Brunelle, David Byrne does not own a car.)

George Carlin had a routine where he juxtaposed the absurdly animated New Hampshire license plate slogan ("Live Free or Die") with the absurdly dull Idaho license plate slogan ("Famous Potatoes"). It's pretty obvious which license plate Brunelle represents and which one Byrne represents, and like Carlin I'd have to agree that the ideal cycling figure skews just a little bit closer to "Famous Potatoes." However, I'm not prepared to completely abandon my theory that Brunelle and Byrne are actually the same person:

Clearly the LucasByrneBot 9000 is a project of the automotive industrial complex designed to turn every single person in the world against cyclists once and for all.

Speaking of cycling advocacy, a number of people have informed me of a proposal that could ban cyclists from the Blue Ridge Parkway:

I've never ridden on the Blue Ridge Parkway, and from the sound of it I guess it's possible I never will. This seems like a shame, but I'm sure Lucas Brunelle is fine with it. He'll ride on it anyway, make a movie of it with his IT money, and then sell it to a bunch of Nü-Freds half his age.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see an indecisive tall bike rider.

Thanks very much for reading, ride recklessly, and remember: if you didn't finish the ride with cuts and bruises and at least 10 minutes of useable video footage, then the ride didn't happen.


--Wildcat Rock Machine




(Kolobnev has clearly read the famous book "Russian Torture Methods" by I. Kutcha Cockov)

1) What consequences does Alexander Kolobnev fear due to his alleged sale of the 2010 Liège-Bastogne-Liège victory to Alexander Vinokourov?






(Members of Liquigas fostering ecosystems in their socks and pants.)

2) Due to their unsanitary sauna practices, there's a strong likelihood that the Liquigas squad's 2012 season will be ruined by fungal infections.

--False





("Objectively speaking, something about that name really creeps me out.")

3) "Rock Center" host Brian Williams thinks New York City Department of Transportation Commissioner Janette Sadik-Khan's name is:







4) Which road component group will finally make the jump to 11 speed next year?

--Who cares?






5) What is this contraption called?

--The "The Velo-vator"
--The "Floaterhoist"






(Disembodied hand, embodiment of douche.)

6) Best Made Company sells this half-gallon of North Family maple syrup for $68. Or, if you prefer, you can buy it directly from North Family for:

--$50
--$45
--$35
--$29






7) How much for this jar of bread bag tags?

--$1.25
--$12.50
--$125
--This is a trick question, nobody could possibly be stupid enough to buy a jar of garbage





***Special High-Visibility Bonus Question***

***Warning--Do Not Attempt to Answer Without Eye Protection!***



(Man with death wish handles Sun without oven mitts.)

There are indeed more dangerous things to stare at than the Sun.



224 comments:

1 – 200 of 224   Newer›   Newest»
Sean Yeager said...

damn!

Anonymous said...

podium

Kenny Banya said...

almost

Anonymous said...

top ten scranus nipple!

petrus said...

Top V!

Kenny said...

AND THAT'S HOW IT HAPPENS! REALLY! BILLS BECOME LAWS ALL THE TIME!

JB said...

'sup?

g said...

Top 10.

theEel said...

topteneel!

weed.

Anonymous said...

Scranulously top 10!

Kenny Banya said...

Brunelle is a dick.

VELO VATR

g said...

I hate DRIVING on I-95 in Miami. That is some kinda fucking stupid to take a bike on that death-trap of a road. Moron.

withlit said...

I can't even describe how much that guy pisses me off. He's part of the reason that people think bikes shouldn't be allowed on the roads. Thanks for making it hard for everyone else to commute, get groceries, and go to school by bike, asshole. Douchey douchey douche douche douche.

Shawn said...

That video is such an embarrassment to cyclists everywhere. Though, whatever you choose to label yourself (blogger, engineer, deep sea fisher) there is always some jerk making you look bad.

These guys need to go sign up for some crits, those things are scary as shit! But they would get crushed since there is no USAC Cat 6.

Anonymous said...

It's Friday already?

Damn.

Anonymous said...

Panties!

CAPTAIN CAPS LOCK said...

I LIKED THE SURPRISE ENDING TO THE INDECISIVE TALL BIKE RIDER VIDEO SO MUCH THAT I MISSED QUESTIONS ON PURPOSE JUST TO WATCH IT AGAIN. AND AGAIN!

Anonymous said...

Lucas needs to start a blog..."Bike Knob NYC".

Can we get some retrogrouch recumbent action for balance?

Please?

Marcel Da Chump said...

Blind sided by Line of Sight.

Alex the X said...

I despise that farkin' idiot. Adrenaline junky is gonna die splattered on the hood of a Ford and I won't be sad.

Glyph said...

Byrne vs. Brunelle? I'll take Byrne any day. They're both jackasses, but Byrne is a relatively harmless jackass. Brunelle's only redeemeing virtue is his high likelihood of soon improving the gene pool by permanently removing himself from it. Any way we can talk him into doing his stupid shit without a helmet? Since he likes danger and pain so much, he can just duct tape those stupid cameras to his head. Then even if he doesn't crash, he can at least enjoy the pain of ripping the tape off.

g said...

zzzzzz....BRRING, BRRING
LUCAS: uhhh....hello?

GOD: LUCAS! Glad I caught you.

LUCAS: GOD? Oh shit, you got my number?

GOD: Sure. Listen, I know you've been 'living on the edge' and all, trying to get killed in traffic, right?

LUCAS: Hellz yeah! Today's the day my dream comes true and that crosstown express splatters my brains all over the highway?!

GOD: Um... no. You're going to die when you break your neck trying to suck your own dick.

LUCAS: Aww, man....

GOD: And, Lucas?

LUCAS: Yes Lord?

GOD: You're a douche.[CLICK]

gsport george said...

Why is it that when a few cyclists ride like dicks we all get tarnished yet nobody is tarring motorists due to the antics of fast-and-the-furious wannabes?

From now on I am going to comment on car accident fatalities with comments like "well I saw a kid driving a bright green lowered mazda badly last week so that minivan full of nuns probably deserved it, drivers are always speeding and pissed out of their heads..."

Buffalo Bill said...

Aghh! My eyes!

Buy-cycle said...

Top 25? Traffic lights are only suggestions. Apparently. Brunelle for the Darwin awards!

ant1 said...

ant1st!

crosspalms said...

New levels of stupid on 2 wheels. Bad enough that he does it, but he gets a bunch of other people to do it too.

The Russian guy, though -- that was fun.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I'm with you Snob and the growing chorus of sensibility here in the comments. Brunelle is a dick.

Now that Ruskie tall bike with the high-low on-the-fly adjustment is the bomb! I think I'll just spend the rest of the day watching that piece of awesome engineering in action.

Have a satisfying weekend.

Anonymous said...

What a terrible human being.

22 bikes said...

Just realized that I never ridden a bike and this post is the only evidence of my existence.

OBA said...

Douchewalla II

Chris said...

Lucas is an idiot but the part that continues to surprise me is the number of Nu-idiots that seem to follow him

pebes said...

i didn't see that coming- i thought russian tall-biker-er was toast and then... whoomp! There it is! cmon louder! WHOOMP THERE IT IS!

Tag Team back again
check and direct and let's begin
Party on party people let me hear some noise
DC's in the house jump jump rejoice
There's a party over here
a party over there
Wave your hands in the air
Shake your deriere
These three words when you're gettin' busy
Whoomp there it is
Hit me

Upside down and inside out
I'm about to show all you folks
What's it's all about
Now it's time for a brother to get on the mic
And make this mother party hype
I'm takeing it back to the old school
'Cause I'm an old fool who's so cool
If you want to get down
I'm gonna show you the way whoomp there it is
Let me hear you say

Whoomp chak a laka chack a laka chak a laka chak a (repeat 4 times)

Point blank gin and juice I drank
Gettin' bent and bent and as I puff on a dankt
Rock a mic
uh oh I crave skin
Rip shit
find a honey to to dip it in
Slam dunk it stick it flip it and ride
That B O double T Y oh my
Ooh thats it come on come on
Whoomp there it is
I'm done

Some say I'm crazy
Cause I'm pushin' up daises
The underground sound that you have found
Amazing outstanding demanding
Commanding you people dancin'
Shit that's a breath taker
I produce AKA the undertaker
You want to come down to the underground
Old school - here's a shovel can you dig it fool
Can you dig it
we can dig it
Can y'll dig it
we can dig it

W H double O M P as I flow
To the fly shit from the school of old
Hardcore keep the folk lore wreck
Three to the two and one mic-check
Mad skill flow ill on the mesh of steel
That's the grill of the microphone I just killed
Party people it's your party Tag Team is through
Whoomp there it is I thought you knew

Yeah Tag Team music comin' straight atcha
That's me DC the brain supreme
And my man Steve Roll'n
Bring it back ya'll bring it back ya'll bring it back
Here we go

Whoomp there it is


so glas i got that off my chest.

pebes said...

*glad



PS later today when this song is stuck in your heads- think of me.
you're welcome.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Wittgenstein earlier this week?

"Ceci n'est pas une pipe" from Fatty today?

Guys, start brushing up on the Treaty of Brest-Litovsk, Count Palatine of the Rhine, and so on or you are going to be left clueless about future posts.

NOT Lucas Brunelle said...

Lucas Brunelle gives the Lucas' of the world a bad name... I saw this guy riding in Boston once, in the rain, on Storrow Drive (for those of you who may not know, it's a controlled access, cars only, no shoulder road) during rush hour all of 30 feet from the Charles River Bike path... I made a CL post calling him out and he wound up replying (that's how I knew it was him) ... foolish and unnecessarily dangerous.

crosspalms said...

Anybody seen the whoomp? It was here a minute ago

streepo said...

Yet another perfect score! I am so smart, S-M-R-T!!

CommieCanuck said...

Yes. Every seat I have is as sharp as a razor, so you always play to roll.

Brunelle better watch his kolobnevs.

BALL SLCE

streepo said...

It seems as though the seat is much sharper that the rider.

CommieCanuck said...

I like the traffic vehicle code on that jersey, although the back should have a sign: "If you can read this, you've already run over me."

ashcroftchops said...

Lucas Brunelle and his bunch of "living on borrowed time, knob jockey retard friends"....

Anonymous said...

DARE DEVL

COCK FGHT

GODS CALL

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

Hey Lucas!

Lucas Brunelle said...

Yes?

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

Die already, will ya?

Downtown Hotel said...

Wow! LINE OF SIGHT! Exciting! What a rush to see that.

And I thought *I* did some stupid shit when I was a kid. Turns out I was [i]much[/i] less of selfish, egomaniacal tool than I thought.

Lucas Brunelle said...

ScranusNipple!

Mcfly said...

I hear in 2012 the Tall bike will have adjustable spring rates so whereto fore as you can 1)roll up 2)hit the switch 3)and launch yourself right into your crow's nest of entitlement.

luciferyellow said...

Man, that guy has about as much redeeming value as the Best Made Company. What a clown.

Grump said...

Has Brunelle ever done a Cat 5 industrial park Crit. That'll put the fear of god into him. He sounds like the sort of person who I'd like to punch in the side of his big head.
What an asshat.
.
.

mikeweb said...

6th ave and 42nd st. seems to be the local epicenter of douchebag cycling behavior closest to my place of work. That Brunelle douche makes the team from 'Jackass' look like a bunch of socially responsible PhDs from some commune somewhere.

Martin Erzinger said...

"Yes. Every seat I have is as sharp as a razor, so you always play to roll."

What the fuck, I think he is riding wit a seatpost stuffed up his ass, or he is just an ass.

Next time he rides on an expressway call me, and I will be right there.

When will they outlaw the massive mobile homes on the Blue Ridge?

The speed limit is only 35 mph, so it is not necessarily a pleasant driving experience, but it is always a pleasant riding experience.

Hungry Panda said...

I know this is probably stupid question, but what is non-organic Maple syrup?

Is there genetically modified or artificially fertilized maple trees?

That russian bike is fucking awesome, when it comes in Bamboo I will buy two.

Anonymous said...

money post today wildcat bro-machine.

Anonymous said...

"Contrary to popular belief, "the Lord" actually doesn't have everybody's number. Sometimes he only gets it because you keep giving it to Him and insisting that He call."

Beautiful

Anonymous said...

watching brunelle's video inspired me to live on the edge by eating my tuna sandwhich with my hands today instead of my usual fork and knife method. Thank's Lucas, for making the world a better place. you are one awesome dude. dont' let these negative posts get you down, you just keep on truckin' buddy!

Anonymous said...

maybe he meant that all of his razors are as sharp as bikeseats, that's why he ends up with all of the gnarly surface wounds on his face?

cyclotourist said...

BULL LOAD

cyclotourist said...

GODK NOWS

cyclotourist said...

In Soviet Russia, tall bike rides you!

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

gsport george asked:

Why is it that when a few cyclists ride like dicks we all get tarnished yet nobody is tarring motorists due to the antics of fast-and-the-furious wannabes?

I do not condone anyone judging the behavior of an individual based on the overall behavior of the group they are in. However, the answer to your question is: "Because there is a larger percentage of cyclists riding like asshats than there are drivers driving like asshats.

it's that or homophobia

either way, you cna lay soe of the blame on Lucas Brunelle

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

Hey yo, Not Lucas....

I ride Memorial to and from work every day. I obey traffic regulations, generally ride a quick and straight line and make an effort not to be a douche. And i surely never ride on Storrow - whihc is clearly marked "no".

Memorial is legal, not for the feint of heart, but legal.

...just sayin' I guess

Anonymous said...

BSnyc, someday your 17 children will have their own bikes; then you will need space for at least 22 (including your own fleet of smugcycles).

Or maybe you could leverage the bike-share program, assuming it is still going by then.

Viva Janette Sadik-Khan!

I. Mafuk Inkilya

Jah Wobble said...

That's the trouble with Woomp,
you never know where it is.

Anonymous said...

Seems like Lucas Brunelle ia bit slow out of the gate, born in 1971 and took an extra year to finish high school and 6 for his BA.


"After graduating in 1990 he attended the University of Massachusetts in Amherst MA where he joined Delta Chi Fraternity and continued to race. He graduated in 1996 summa cum laude with a BA in finance."

Anonymous said...

numb nuts.

mikeweb said...

Gotta say that I'm also disappointed with Buycycling magazine for publishing that interview.

Though I can't wait for my next issue of 'Guns and Ammo'. They have an interview with a guy who takes videos of Russian Roulette competitions and has a great time shooting at Tot Finder signs in suburban house windows.

Anonymous said...

Wow that jack ass, Lucas Brunelle:

During his short and notorious racing career as an adult he raced for Mass Bay Road Club, UMASS Amherst, and Cannondale Jiffy Lube. He placed well and led his teammates to victory sometimes by riding on sidewalks, over grass, and through riders blocking.… Brunelle was unsatisfied with the pace and intensity of legal bicycle racing.

Plus he looks old for his time.

skink said...

Let's invite Brunelle to Commenters Ride,
and, instead, kick his ass.

Anonymous said...

I enjoy the guy in the woods on the hiking path with messenger bag on his way to deliver goodies to grandma's house. Or is it the big bad wolf?

Former Boston Courier said...

LucASS CAN'T Sign up for crits.
He has been kicked out of sanctioned racing twice. The second time was final.
You see Lucas just has a problem with rules and authority. He also makes up most of what he tells other cyclists to look badass. This fool is perpetually stuck in high school, uncool remedial edition. "You can't tell me what to do I AM MadMax!"
This guy is totally full of shit.

He crashes his "friends" on rides "just for fun".

Dood here was in the early 90's one of the undisputed kings of cat. 6 Courier "challenging".
He won't admit it because it was before his branding really took of with the faux tough guy messenger act. Chumpy would tool around downtown looking for doods to get sprinty with stepping all over lines and messing with working bicycle folk because he couldn't even figure out we had somewhere to be. But when your whole schtick revolves around playing in traffic like Helen Keller on a bike then.....

Anonymous said...

When are they going to make the jump to 12?

NOT Lucas Brunelle said...

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne,

Yeah, I occasion Memorial Drive as well, and though it IS legal to ride on it, many of the cars don't think it is :P

He was def. on Storrow when I saw him though... Dumb.

Hey Lucas!!! said...

Looks like you have hit the big time.
Now we're all waiting for you to get hit big time.
The cycle will be complete.

See you on the Charles River bike path again tomorrow?
I was surprised to see you out there the last two weekends but you are getting old. I suspect you are losing the edge. I mean Storrow drive was twenty feet away. Oh, was it the recent arrest for riding through the tunnels downtown that has you so timid these days?

Wussie!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I'll join the Lucas Brunelle chorus of disapproval. I'm surprised "Bicycling" published the story. After seeing the video two things come to mind:

1). Has Lucas ever hear the term "Ugly American"? Usually when I'm traveling I don't try to make a spectacle of my self.

2). If you want to race, then sign up and race. Nothing in that video compares to the danger and insanity I've witnessed in a Cat 5 crit. Further, Cat 5 racers are a menace only to each other, they're not forcing their collective idiocy on the general population.

I concur, what a douche-douchity douchbag.

Anonymous said...

Who was that guy from the TV show "Jackass" that killed himself and friend in a fiery auto collision?

When will the trend of celebrating egregious behavior and the narcissists that perform it come to an end?

Anonymous said...

This guy is still making unfunny cycling videos?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jn0FF1KwL4I&feature=player_embedded#!

Oh, the material will never end. I love it when people make fun of cyclists (hence I read this blog), but this guy just isn't funny. Not a creative bone in his schtick.

Sad, Sad, Lucas said...

Oh man, that interview was rich.
The messengers don't have skills like the bike racer I used to be.

Why did you get kicked out of Wells ave. again?

For riding like a chip on the shoulder messenger?

You painted yourself into the corner. I really like how you tried to justify getting to and holding down that sad, sad, little corner you occupy.

Anonymous said...

Dude from the 'Don't steal bikes bro' video totally makes a cameo in the asshat's video at 3:08. Stripey shirt guy. BOOM.

CommieCanuck said...

I know this is probably stupid question, but what is non-organic Maple syrup?

See the recipe for Maple Syrup yesterday. Non-organic is when you don't feed the Beaver granola bars and just take them to Dennys.

BEVR POOP

Anonymous said...

Brunelle's a puss. Plus that video was boring. I once got on the car lane of the williamsburgh drunk out of my mind at 2AM. Stupidity, not something to brag about.

Anonymous said...

Off The Back All Star said:
I call "bullshit" on question #4.
And the notion of questions #6 and #7.

CommieCanuck said...

How to ride a bike and emit C02 like an SUV.

Elon Musk is already working on a 4 seater version.

I am an egregious engine said...

"When will the trend of celebrating egregious behavior and the narcissists that perform it come to an end?"

Fucking brilliant, unfortunately do you not realize that egregious behavior and narcissism is what america was founded on, and worships.

Anonymous said...

anon @4:37, you're good goddamn right it is, what you are some kind of commie? U.S. fucking A!!

never mind, i kind of get your point.

Muddler said...

Are we all waiting for Lucas' comment?
Maybe one of his defenders will chime in.
Then, all Hell will break loose.

Warrior said...

Lucas, come out to play...

Looooocassss, come out
to playyyyyy.

Billy said...

I'm amazed Lucas Brunelle and his ilk are still alive. I would say I wish they weren't, but I don't really wish death on my fellow human beings. Mutilation maybe, or cake, but certainly not death.

Also, George Carlin got close to the truth that lies between "Live Free or Die" and "Famous Potatoes" near the end of the video, where he threatened to run cars with "Baby on Board" stickers into utility poles. That's just the kind of reckless threats that car drivers just love to make on any news article that mentions cycling. Thankfully the assholes who actually *do* that sort of thing are extremely rare.

I actually really liked today's quiz fail video. That tallbike is sweet. I didn't have to miss one on purpose to see it, though, because I couldn't believe the gall of Best Made, charging more than double for some re-branded maple syrup. I guess I shouldn't be by now, but I guess I'm an eternal optimist.

True Story said...

Best Made took a page out of Pedro's book. They got started on a 50 gallon drum of motor oil repackaged as their own chainlube.

Keep the American Dream alive!

Free Lucas Brunelle!!!!!!!

HalfStep And TheGranny said...

Hey Billy,

Didn't I tell you to get that fucken Hubway OFF my sidewalk, or was that another dirty flip flop Allstonian?

Love
Half Step & The Granny

leroy said...

I second mikewebb's 3:02 comment.

I didn't realize Bicycling was doing movie reviews.

But at least now I can tell the difference between filmmakers Lucas Brunelle and Luis Bunuel.

Bunuel is not the self-aggrandizing dumbass.

Most of us have done something stupid on a bike. We just don't make it a habit, film it, and market it as a lifestyle.

The Line of Sight trailer reminded me of William Blake's observation: "If the fool would persist in his folly he would become wise."

Ride safe all...

Even tho' Blake also observed that the "Road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom," these observations are from his collected Proverbs of Hell.

As is the truism that "A dead body revenges not injuries."

(And don't give me those funny looks. Fat Cyclist was making Magritte references today. Cycling culture is getting all tony.)

crosspalms said...

He also said "and dat's da name a dat tune," which also applies. Oh, wait, that was Robert Blake. Never mind.

OccupyNothing said...

.

Pumping up the Stats said...

HGH.

bikesgonewild said...

...okay...now it's a three way fight for the slogan "pretentious as fuck..." between rapha, best made & lucas brunelle...

Anonymous said...

Although Lucas' self-centered idiocy need hardly be explained to this audience, there's another aspect that makes it even worse.

Suppose he (or one of his weak-minded acolytes) gets killed doing one of these stunts in traffic. If he'd been base-jumping or doing Lob knows what, then he'd be the only person affected, and we could all invoke Darwin and move on.

But if he gets killed by a car, then the poor driver has to live the rest of their life with the knowledge that he or she killed someone. Even though in this case they'd almost certainly be blameless, this is a horrible thing to live with.

This guy is obviously a psychopath, with no understanding or empathy for others, completely devoted to his own crazy thrill ride.

It's too bad he can't just be pre-emptively locked up.

Billy said...

@Half Step & The Granny

I see you gave up on the ampersand in your posting name.

Allston is a huge clusterf*** that I avoid at all costs, and there's no Hubway in JP yet.

I'll just content myself waiting at red lights on Huntington and getting passed by all the students and messenger-wannabes.

HalfStep and TehBilly said...

JP!!!!!!!!!

You don't need Hubways up thurr.
You can't move into JP without a bike unless you have a husky and a closet full of flannel them you get a pass.

Now get some new sandals. I'm fifth in line at this light and I can still smell your feet.

Closet full of flannel said...

100!

Not 6 o'clock yet? said...

D00000000000000000000000000000000d.
I can't wait to skitch the bus home with my remaining two fingers.
As long as I can hold a Schlitz what do I care.

This million dollar window cleaning business I run practically runs itself.

Who wouda' though a kid born in the sand dunes of Martha's Vineyard would make it most of the way up the ladder and buy a house in Waltham so I can slalom my way down Storrow drive every morning on my Lambo crabon supremeios.

I just started a You Tube account and got a flip phone.
Ima make some fucken videos!

Billy said...

@HalfStep:

You would think with JP being all super-bike-friendly there wouldn't be a perpetual traffic jam on Centre St and the LBS owner wouldn't be advocating for rebuilding a piece of 1950s highway dystopianism.

Anonymous said...

Brunelle is a moron. Many of those riders are selfish beyond words, endangering themselves and others, and making the urban environment something to fear because of their presence. They are anti-ambassadors to cycling.

In addition, you are right on when you say "Contrary to popular belief, "the Lord" actually doesn't have everybody's number. Sometimes he only gets it because you keep giving it to Him and insisting that He call. (A-meh, and Holly Luau.)"

He is ignorant to think this way. We have free will. God is not going to rescue a moron from his careless daredevil riding one day, but perhaps not another. Fatalism does not excuse anti-social behavior. There is plenty of freedom without trampling that of others.

It's not THAT hard to figure out!

Ben Levy said...

I don't remember ever bombing the test so badly and laughing my ass off in tears at the same time.

vegetarian said...

i like the surprising ending!

Anonymous said...

red light runner
lane splitting master
headin' straight for a traffic diaster,
think youre slick well we are sicker think youre fast well we just past ya stayin right here till were dead fu>>in last yaw...


mr.pissta--have a good weekend and ride it like it is a rivendale

Joe Biden said...

It's all about a three letter word: J O B S

Reggie said...

Best Made and Brunelle in one post makes this the most pissy-offiest post I can remember. How can Best Rebranded (they haven't actually Made anything) live with themselves after ripping people off during this recession? And how does Brunelle live with himself if (when?) someone who thinks his videos are cool loses a finger, an eye, or a life? This strikes me as adolescent fantasy role-playing wish fulfillment bullshit. The Best Rebranded con-men pretend they are manufacturers of manly goods when in reality they are effeminate city boy bedazzling huckster wannabes, and Brunelle can pretend he is a daredevil when he is in fact just a sociopath. I'm angry now. Only Jens Voigt can make me feel better now.

jimjimjimjimjimjimjim said...

Reggie,

Perhaps in a very Jens fashion you can yell at your mad to shut up.
I know it's not Jens but channeling him for a moment may get you feeling better or at the least a little Teutonic barring any preexisting Teutonic condition that is.

Best of luck winding down.

g-roc said...

Wow, we're all douches. The asshole-deathwishdouche, the self-righteous commuter douche, the paragon of smugness douche, the fredly douche, the racer douche, the tri-douche, the hilpster douche, retro-douche, recum-douche, salmon-douche, summer's eve douche, need I go on? We all have something in common. And here I thought it was everyone but me. 'scuse me, I'm going to go do something douchey.



Я отрублю тебе douchey шаров.

ce said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Foreign Education said...

I can't even explain how much that guy pisses me off. He's element of the purpose that individuals think motorcycles shouldn't be granted on the roadways. Thanks to make it challenging for everyone else to go, get goods, and go to university by motorcycle.

ce said...

Why can't these EXTREME! duders stop with ruining cycling's image and stick to... you know... this?

ce said...

g-roc, I couldn't place myself on your Tree of Douche. I guess I'm in the clear.

(denial-douche)

Keith said...

We have had the disembodied hands and disembodied feet pictures so how do you describe a picture like those for the Traffic Master where the body has completely gone???

Throwaway Bicycling said...

Esteemed Commenter Dadda One said:


gsport george asked:

Why is it that when a few cyclists ride like dicks we all get tarnished yet nobody is tarring motorists due to the antics of fast-and-the-furious wannabes?

I do not condone anyone judging the behavior of an individual based on the overall behavior of the group they are in. However, the answer to your question is: "Because there is a larger percentage of cyclists riding like asshats than there are drivers driving like asshats.

it's that or homophobia #end#

So I think you are partly right. Drivers do perceivethat more bicyclists are asshats because their brand of ass-hattery is more visible. One dude weaving through traffic and running the light is seen by way more people than the one guy in a car who blew through the red. When you're driving in traffic, there are only 2 cars mostly who could do something toolish: the one in front of you, and the one behind you. *Every* Nu-Fred is seen by everybody on the road pretty much.

The depressing thing is that, if I am right, bicyclists can be hated if there are pretty much any craptastic cyclists on the roads at all.

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 5:21pm hits the nail on the head...

...when brunelle's self indulgent stupidity places him at that juncture where he makes someone else responsible for his death, despite it being accidental, the person involved by no more reason that happenstance will carry it with them for the rest of their days...

...brunelle - you are a selfish little bitch, dude...a sad, selfish little bitch & nowhere close to 'the man' you see yourself as...

Anonymous said...

BGW - Anon 5:21 here. Thanks for the kind words!

It's Jaquie Phelan's birthday. If you happen to see her, say hello from the husband of her best friend from Jr. High. I only mention this 'cause I think you live in the same town ... ?

I'm also the anonymous who is in awe of your personal acquaintance with former FZ sidemen.

Anonymous said...

Geez, Get a room you two.

Loco Banal said...

I'm hitchin' on car

to follow where you are

and I'm hoping I get creamed

all bloodied on the scene

and I'm wishing I'm disabled

from my bike

Anonymous said...

Sweet suffering sweaty faint Jesus, Lucas looks very much beyond his 15 years of age. Cape Cod!,cray zeeee.

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 5:21pm redux...

...yup !!!...miz p lives 3 blocks away & my avatar foto was shot next door to their manse when i lived on that street even before she & charlie...

...music n' bikes...two things that have helped shape my life & brought it great pleasure & they're a big part of the history around here...

...& to "whomever" @ 11:17am...this IS a room...it's bsnyc/rtms/wcrm's chat room...

...& this attitude of yours is why you may not get invited to the big years eve get together we always have in nyc with all the regulars...

...invitations just went out last week, so i hope you didn't spoil your chances (again) 'cuz this year, leroy's dog booked the entertainment...

...he mentioned something about the music this year being 'the cat's meow...'...i can only imagine...

...just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

BGW - incidentally, Patrick O'Grady, the second-greatest comic writer in cycling, is celebrating Zappadan:

http://maddogmedia.wordpress.com/

-- anon 5:21.

David Byrne said...

For Lucas


I can't seem to face up to the facts
I'm tense and nervous and I
Can't relax
I can't sleep 'cause my bed's on fire
Don't touch me I'm a real live wire

Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away

You start a conversation you can't even finish it.
You're talkin' a lot, but you're not sayin' anything.
When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed.
Say something once, why say it again?

Psycho Killer,
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away

Ce que j'ai fais, ce soir la
Ce qu'elle a dit, ce soir la
Realisant mon espoir
Je me lance, vers la gloire ... OK
We are vain and we are blind
I hate people when they're not polite

Psycho Killer,
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho Killer,
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh....

Oh did you know that I don't have a car.

Brian Eno said...

Baby's on fire!

better throw him in the water

look at him laughing!

like a heifer to the slaughter

***
re-gendered for Lucas Brunelle

Lucas Brunelle said...

99% of accidents are NOT caused by us cyclists who enjoy and are aware of our surroundings.
The public is mad at cyclists because you guys don’t know how to ride in and with traffic. You’re in the way of traffic because you obey outdated laws and things that group ride “leaders” tell you. And most riders in the US just aren’t fast enough for the streets.
I still race cat 2 and almost none of those riders have the skills that a messenger does. And a messenger is faster than ANY rider out there because the messenger will skitch at 60mph. So come fuckin ride with me and see.

Sincerely, Lucas Brunelle

Marcel Da Chump said...

A guy from Chicago named Joey,who messengered in 80's NYC , O.G'd skitching--followed by the X-Men. They were in their twenties and felt invincible-- like the twenty-something I was when I rode with them--cutting and slashing through all manner of traffic in the streets of Manhattan. I apologize to all sane cyclists for making such an indelible impression on someone who's decided to make reckless, lawless cycling such a delusional point of pride.

P. Stable said...

You're absolutely right, Lucas. Whenever I hear a motorist complaining about cyclists they're always bemoaning the lack of selfish trust-fund preppy fakengers using daddy's money to act like dicks on the road in an desperate attempt to appear cool and counter-cultural.

"Oh," lament pedestrians and drivers the world over, "If only - IF ONLY - I had a super-cool anti-hero like Lucas Shitferbrains cutting me up, hanging on to my rear wing, and RLJ-ing in front of me because he doesn't approve of 'rules' laid down by The Man! Only then would my life be complete!"

May your tubes get punctures and your chain go slack.

leroy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
leroy said...

Dear Mr. Brunelle --

My dog wishes to point out that 99% of all statistics are just made up.

He also says you're so dumb you skitch parked cars (Chasing parked car references are a staple of canine trash talk).

But what does he know? He says he's much faster than you because he once trotted down an airplane aisle so he could say he was jogging at over 200 miles per hour.

Of course I don't believe him. It wasn't on film. (He won't wear a helmet cam like yours. He says it looks too much like those novelty plastic beer drinking hats with the can holders on the sides).

Yours sincerely,

leroy

g-roc said...

I am the 1%.

Hmm, of the of few crashed I've had, none were caused by cars, well, except for that time I chased a parked car. Thanks for dredging up that memory, leroy's dog.

g-roc said...

- crashes

Anonymous said...

Marcel @ 11:23 PM --

"O.G'd skitching--followed by the X-Men. "

What means this, "O.G'd" -- ?

I feel so ... so old.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Anon 11:41,
had just gotten home from a party, and maybe I got a bit too creative with the lingo: O.G= original gangster.
The X-Men were a small group of NYC bike messengers who dressed themselves in crash gear ( knee guards, elbow pads, hockey helmets with face guards) and "skitched" around town. They even appeared on an episode of HOW'D THEY DO THAT, perhaps it's on You Tube.

Lucas Brunelle said...

If you guys don’t like our kind of riding then you’re WAY too uptight and take yourselves way too seriously. Also most of the talk on here is about what other people think. Are you that insecure? Live on the edge – have no regrets.

don the cyclist said...

@lucas be a man.when I was a kid we used to bumper skitch, without bicycles.snow, dirt roads, yea real cool.lots of leaded exhaust fumes, good times, I think

bikesgonewild said...

...brunelle, you are a self righteous, vainglorious, smarmy little shitstain...

...your whole selfish, entitled schtick is full of holes but you're so caught up in yourself that you can't see how your actions affect others...

...when you finally 'buy it', your eulogy won't be "we admired how he lived his life on his own terms...", it'll be "we told him so...but he was all about himself..."...

brake for love said...

In the operation of vehicles, whether motor or bike, no one could possibly take themselves seriously enough on the road.

Lucas Brunelle said...

<<<^. .^>>>

Anonymous said...

Lucas, when you get killed, you are going to saddle some poor soul with the fact that they killed you, even if it was, rationally, your own damn fault.

You really are worse than just an asshole. You're a sociopath.

Anonymous said...

Oh my LOB!
http://fixedgearbikes.blogspot.com/2011/11/frozen-lobster-fender.html

ce said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ce said...

I found a nice little velodrome for Lucas.

File Photograph Lucas Brunelle

The Edge said...

Leave me alone!

I'm sooooo not worth it.

You want an adrenaline rush?
Knock some boots!

leroy said...

Dear Mr. Brunelle--

My dog says there's a skill you don't have.

You get it by riding thousands of miles in NYC.

It's the skill that lets you recognize the difference between ability and luck.

I think that's why we don't dive into oncoming traffic at night with no lights like the folks in your trailer.

That and because it's bad manners.

I, however, think you're an inspiration.

I was trying to choose between boxers and briefs, but then I asked myself what Brunelle would do.

I went with a mankini. (If all your saddles are razor sharp, you want to look your best at the proctologist's.)

Ahh, life on the edge.

Yours,

leroy

Grayed out and balding said...

Just catching up with this edition but glad I caught it before the paperboy delivers the next post. I've been cycling in the city since I got here in 1980.Regarding the asshat du jour: we've all been there at one time or another- doing the thing that we think is cooler than all other things. In time we realize that we were actually pretty cool and trailblazing in some things and embarassingly self-centeredly assholish in others. Given that all the 80s (actual) bike messengers have done and abandoned the bike-bombing tomfoolery discussed here, one can assume that Mr. Brunelle will at some point realize how ridiculous he seems. Especially to those who used to brave a much less forgiving auto culture than what we face these days, (and with no helmet-cam to capture their awesomeness.)Suggestion: try to deliver 40 or 50 packages before lunch or your rent doesn't get paid this month and then come back and tell us how cool you are.

seen too much
annoyed old school grouch

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Lucas Brunelle said...

All these comments about my death are rather boring. As someone who gets death threats and attempts on their life I can tell you guys know dick about death. You know even less about riding. If you knew ANYthing about riding you’d know we haven’t harmed a soul except for yours.

Lucas Brunelle said...

"CE" now THAT'S a velodrome

soul said...

Lucas,
I saw a little boy runned over by a soda truck. That hurt me and still haunts me.
I saw the blood on the street from a bike messenger who had his head crushed by a truck.
A friend took three bullets in a store robbery, but he lived!
Another friend wasn't so lucky when crashed his car into a tree. You heard that Jim Carroll song:
"they're the people who died, died!...
they're all my friends...they died!"

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NYCDABOMB said...

HAHA OMG I'm so glad to miss BSNYC for a few days and read this shit backwards!! Hilarious!

Now the poor lil rich kid actually responds, apparently EVERYWHERE on the internet, with JUST THE KIND OF DELUDED CRAP A 15-yr old in HS WOULD!?!

Amazing.

Yeah, yer a big time spy eh Lucas, people trying to kill you are there, cause of that time you rescued Chuck Norris from certain death?

What company in NYC did you work for when you were in college up in MA? Huh, oh, Faster Than Light Company? u-huh. And WHAT Alleycat did you ride in between 1990 & 96?

Say now, just how do you "Play to roll." ?

U-huh, I see.

Lastly, WHY did you wait until GoPro outdated ALL your footage to release a lame video? That shit is choppy man! Makes a viewer sick even edited. Jesus you fail.

Anonymous said...

AND ONE OTHER THING TOUGH GUY.

YOU SAY YOU STILL RACE CAT2, CAT2 RACES ARE USCF.

POST ONE< JUST ONE RESULT THAT INCLUDES YOU.

Lucas is a dreamer, but Lucas is the only one he dreams about.

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