Friday, November 18, 2011

BSNYC Contrived Situational Comedy With Live Studio Audience! (And Vacation Announcement!) [*Applause*]

When the BP oil company hired me to write this blog, I had three (3) requirements:

1) The freedom to work pantsless;
2) A salary of $1.6 million per year
3) Time off for holidays and religious observances

Well, after some negotiation BP agreed to meet two out of three of these requirements, which is why I won't be posting next week, nor am I currently wearing pants. Yes, after today this blog will go unmolested by me until Monday, November 28th, at which point I will resume regular updates. Of course, this is a corporate blog, so I've also hired a graphic design company at considerable expense to create an image of my schedule for November:

Now, most people know that Thanksgiving is the holiday during which Americans kill and eat turkeys. However, fewer people know that Thanksgiving also coincides with one of the high holidays of my Lobster-worshipping faith. It's called "Über-Thanksgiving," and it celebrates the day when the Great Lobster descended from the Lobster Tank On High and told his followers, "Fuck working, it's Thanksgiving, just take the entire week off." And so they did, and the Great Lobster was pleased, and there was much napping and watching of television.

Speaking of watching things, a reader recently forwarded me the following video:



In which Thomas Frischknecht displays some formidable flat-bar cyclocrossing:

This just goes to show that the true professional will disregard convention and use whatever equipment best suits him, though at the same time it doesn't make the exotic custom flat-bar Cat 6 road bike phenomenon any less dorky.

Moving on from videos of people who can handle their bikes to videos of people who can't, Stevil Kinevil of All Hail the Black Market recently shared with me this video of a typical triathlete training ride:



It's worth noting that this crash happened well below Fred "Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" speed (which is of course 46mph). However, it does neatly illustrate another law of physics, which is that the maximum speed a triathlete can travel on a bicycle without either crashing or causing another rider to crash is 34mph. I would take the additional step of testing this theory in real-world conditions, but there's no way I'm getting close enough to a triathlete to find out. Like a spitting cobra, a triathlete can fell a victim from a distance as great as a full bike length. This means if you can see a triathlete at all, you're too close to him.

And with that, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right it means you've reached mental "Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" speed, and if you're wrong it means you'll see a commercial.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and have a Happy Thanksgiving.


--Wildcat Douchebucket











(Bjarne Riis trying to figure out how many "I"s there are in "team," and how many "team"s there are in his team's name.)

1) Next season, Team Saxo Bank-SunGard will become:

--Team Saxo Bank Professional Cycling Team





2) Next season, Garmin-Cervélo will be switching to:






(At the SSCXWC, there's only one speed, and that speed is "Contrived Irreverence.")

3) This weekend, the Single Speed Cyclocross World Championships will take place in which city?





4) If you're riding a bike in America, you must be protesting something, and are therefore subject to arrest.

--True
--False





5) What is this?

--A solar panel





6) In a recent "Bicycling" magazine readers' survey, who is not listed as cycling personality?

--Mario Cipollini







7) Specialized's new crabon recycling program will allow them to:




***Special Logic-Themed Bonus Question!***


(Crabon toilet seat for maximum comfort and power transfer.)

Not all crabon fiber enthusiasts ride bikes, but all crabon fiber enthusiasts are nerds.

--True
--False


***Special Bib Short-Themed Bonus Bonus Question!!***


Cycling clothing manufacturer Assos is actually introducing a new bib short with a crabon fiber heat-moldable chamois.



158 comments:

Ben said...

Boom goes the dynamite!

CAMPIONE CYCLES CALGARY said...

whoooo!

Anonymous said...

READ? me read..
mr pissta to you

CAMPIONE CYCLES CALGARY said...

Challenge!!!!!

mikeweb said...

Refund?! REFUND??!!

Cav Not said...

Top 10 on a day of inaction!

Lefty said...

My bicycle is too heavy.

Nogocyclist said...

What's the penalty for running over a cyclist and putting her in a comma? In Mississippi it is $50

I just hope the cyclist now sues the woman in civil court. Complicating someone else's life forever by your carelessness should cost you more than $50.

Anonymous said...

top ten!?!?!?

Anonymous said...

Not Again!

Anonymous said...

The toilet seat in a bike blog always reminds me of the golden toide awards that the SOPWAMTOS (collective?) used to award to to indusrty before the industry became 2 companies..the most memorable award to be was the Darth Vader Intergallactic domination Award which that year went to Fischer/trek/bontragerlemond-klein...no one in the crowd was willing to accept -or admit the worked there so they had to ask for former empoyees of FTBLK to recieve it and deliver... ahh those days when fixed gear meant track bike and hipsters we underclothes..(BTW snobby surely you jest when you suggesetd yesterday that you let anything between you and your bib shorts) have a good rest cycle..


mr.pissta

LA said...

Oh how I hate those woosies at Vermin Snitchstream.

smarticus said...

Here's a fantastic "uberfred" video.
note the pacelining in the aerobars.
http://youtu.be/GaQJB_bWA4c

Mike in Dallas said...

FLAT STUL

Marcel Da Chump said...

Your pantsless image is a buzzkill.
Have a safe week, if travelling.

streepo said...

El perfecto!! Except I don't see the bill becoming a law yet?!?!?

Kenny Banya said...

RTMS!

Buffalo Bill said...

Ok, I think we can all agree that using aerobars while drafting = idiot and/or triathlete

What's the consensus on riding no hands while drafting? My buddy says the fact he does it and hasn't crashed (yet) means he's such a good rider that it's safe. I figure it means he should take up triathlon.

Anonymous said...

Top twenty, bitchez!

crosspalms said...

On my ride home last night, some guy in a van honked at me, pulled alongside and yelled "You're not a fucking car!" I know these kinds of insights keep America a superpower, but I gave him the finger anyway. So I'm glad I saw the Roadman video, I'm in a much better mood now.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Crosspalms,

Later that night he probably pulled up to a mailbox and said, "You're not a fucking boat!"

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

@ Nogocyclist,

I agree, the $50 penalty is far too lenient. By putting the cyclist "in a comma" and thereby reducing her existential significance to the parenthetical, the perp. surely deserves a punishment more severe, and the cyclist substantial damages for loss of self esteem?

Nogocyclist said...

Taking a vacation during the week of the ABA BMX Grands?

WCRM, you are not reverting to your glory days and taking a little trip to Tulsa, are you?

theEel said...

WEED.

g said...

I have a roll of adhesive-backed vinyl that has the look and texture of crabon fibre. Been just sitting there whilst I tried to find a use for it. Now that I've seen the toilet seat, the wait is over. Best thing is the Mrs is out of town so I don't have to worry about asking permission!

CommieCanuck said...

A whole week to prepare for black Friday?

Losing $1.6M over working without pants is totally work it. A few have it made, make the millions and still don't wear pants. Of course, I mean Larry King. Those suspenders are holding up his testicles.

JOCK STRP

CommieCanuck said...

worth it..totally worth it.

Anonymous said...

In aero bars while on another's wheel. Idiocy.

The problem is that if Triathletes ever learned any handling skills we'd have nothing to ridicule them for. And then they'd take up cyclocross and that sport would become really dreary.

Anonymous said...

I'm still trying to figure out wtf happened to that guy in the crash. Wheel overlap? Speed wobble? Sheer idiocy? More than one of the above? Inquiring minds want to know!

Glad to see he wasn't seriously hurt. My Schadenfreude doesn't extend quite that far. Quite.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

-1 on quiz.

Crabon Fibre Stormtrooper! Now I can start my weekend knowing all is right with the world.

RTMS/WCRM Nice work on the 1.6 mils.

Ride safe, Eat turkey.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Oops I read that wrong. You didn't get the 1.6 million. Oh well, at least you don't have to wear pants at work.

Anonymous said...

@ crosspalms

I've been getting yelled at a lot by motorists (of a certain demographic) this past week.

Maybe Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, et el. have initiated another putsch?

Anonymous said...

Buffalo--
NO hands drafting is ok IF you are eating an AEROBAR.. not the mint ones though and you have to share the sweets with the others in the paceline

CommieCanuck said...

I'm still trying to figure out wtf happened to that guy in the crash.

He ran into the wheel in front, which knocked his wheel loose because he didn't tighten the skewer properly.
If it weren't for lawyer lips (the first horseman of the Alpaca-lips), he would have done a header on the pavement. That would have been more fun to watch.

Anonymous said...

@ anon 12:55

After crossing wheels and freaking out he Triathelete could have recovered, but he rolls off the road, sits up and hits the front brake. You can see the dirt shoot up around the wheel as he does so.

Endo!

g said...

CC,
It was wheel overlap, but I think the wheel-wobble was because he broke half of the 8 spokes on one side of the wheel. I thought it was a skewer or broken fork at first too.

Anonymous said...

You have to look a bit closer to see wtf happened. Fred #2 rolled up on Fred #1 too fast and hooked his right side front spokes on Fred #1's left-side quick release.
Peeled his spokes like opening a tin can.
Then Fred #2, in flawless tridork form, screamed like a girl scout and proceeded to panic, over brake and face-plant like an enormous shithead.
Can I answer any other questions?

Anonymous said...

I hope they let the wookie win at the XC championships

Kenny Banya said...

"Later that night he probably pulled up to a mailbox and said, "You're not a fucking boat!""

Gold Snobby, GOLD!

ladymtbiker said...

Hey Anonymous 1:23pm-- I used to be a girl scout and let me say this: when we endo (which I personally do with alarming frequency on singletrack), we do so in disciplined scouty silence (until the whap! sound of body-slamming on dirt).

CommieCanuck said...

g... a Mavic R-sys moment?

Anonymous said...

100%!! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!!

Anonymous said...

the only thing that woulda made the crash video better was if a deer headbutted him too

balls®

Ben Levy said...

Fell into question #2's trap but was prepared for it on #7...Ha!

Could have done without the visuals on #10 (Eewwww...:/)

Enjoy your holiday "Wildcat", and may you feast merrily upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats.

Anonymous said...

Pffft, if I'm going for a high-end toilet seat, I don't want lightweight, high performance, beefy bottombracket, lateral stiffness and vertical compliance, I WANT LUXURY.

I am going to own one of these. Set your sights high. Sometimes when you aim for the stars, you get burnt up in the atmosphere.

http://www.amazon.com/SW564T695-12-Washlet-Elongated-Toilet-Toilets/dp/B001KAJ2HG/ref=sr_1_1?s=hi&ie=UTF8&qid=1321643846&sr=1-1

Elevate the experience with the new Washlet S400. Experience the ultimate in clean comfort with an automatic, hands-free flushing system and a sensor-activated lid that automatically lifts as you approach the toilet and lowers as you walk away. A convenient, easy-to-use remote control affords you effortless operation of our most luxurious Washlet model to date. The Washlet is designed to introduce you to a level unprecedented comfort, while delivering on the promise of maximum cleanliness. At your command, an integrated, self-cleaning nozzle extends to release a warm, soothing stream of aerated water to provide the ultimate in personal cleansing.

air settings- variable three drying volume

Automatic air purifier

Convenient wireless Remote Control with large LCD Panel

Heated Seat with Temperature Control

leroy said...

Crosspalms @ 12:36:

You know, it seems to me a van isn't a "car" either.

Even though I'm told many of them are "fucking" vehicles.

leroy said...

CommieCanuck @ 12:53 --

My dog asked me to tell you "work it, Commie work it."

I don't know what he means, but he was waving a paw full of dollar bills.

Fred said...

My NYC trip fell through, so who's up for a T-Day Commenters Ride in PDX? We can dress like BSNYC/giant rabbits!

leroy said...

I don't mean to brag, but some scouts saw me riding and offered me a spot in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

I'll be riding as ballast anchoring the Underdog balloon.

Ride well grounded all!

Fred said...

Crosspalms,
That's funny, because riding downtown last week some douchebucket in an Audi SUV who was pulling into traffic from a parking garage loudly informed me that "You are a car, you have to wait" before cutting me off.

So which is it, vagina-washing-pails of the US, are we cars or not?

Hungry Panda said...

The best joke ever, about BP underwriting you. I believe everything you write except that BP would be involved with anything cycling related.

I am waiting for Calfee to bamboo reinforce a pair of cycling clothing.

I wont get picky, which one.

g-roc said...

Whew, cruised through the quiz, (even #2 was obvious)plus the bonus question. Damn, there's a bonus, bonus? I thought my streak was over, but the force was with me this time. Must have been my new storm trooper costume.

Buy-cycle said...

Snobmeister general, I shall purchase your novel this Christmas. But i'm only doing it to ensure your 17 children have food on the table this winter. Unless Chronicle Books takes all the royalties, in that case, kickstarter.

Mad Jack McMad said...

I thought the answer to question 1 was "Rod Torfulson's Saxo Bank Professional Cycling Team, Featuring Herman Menderchuck."

crosspalms said...

Fred,
The verdict seems to be that we are cars, but we are not fucking cars. No doubt the drivers of America will clarify our status at the earliest opportunity.

Anonymous said...

Anytime your hear the words "police" and "argument" used in the same sentence, you know it is not going to turn out well.

Anonymous said...

Mr Wildcat

Do you have tattoos I cannot see?
I have a few you can see!

Yours truly
Pametha

mikeweb said...

The MIG (Mike's Imperial Guard) had the Manhattan bridge bike path blocked on my way home last night. I guess they were worried that Occupiers would block the bicycle traffic(?) I don't think they could do as good a job blocking it than the normal walkers, joggers and amateur videographers that are there daily.

grog said...

Is it me, or are you funnier every day?
Enjoy your turkey stuffed lobster. Howcum the magazine doesn't advertise on your blog?
FUNK WIZZ
Now I'm sorry i yelled at the cat: You're not a fuckin turkey!

Fred said...

Crosspalms,
Good point, I am not fucking cars.

But if they don't want them fucked, why do they keep pointing them at us?

I'm so confused now. Maybe I'll just go spin on the trainer in the garage, i.e. a fofonov ride.

cyclotourist said...

VACA TION

BLAS PHMR said...

Who maintains the filters and circulation and aeration of the Lobster Tank on High? Huh?

leroy said...

Mikewb--

The Manhattan Bridge was empty when I came across at 10 PM last night. But there were a ton cops in Cadman Plaza.

While stopped at a light, I joked to a small group of them that I'd be crazy to run a red that night.

No reaction.

Now I know how Gallagher, Pauly Shore and Carrot Top must feel. Comedy is about taking risks and being misunderstood.

cramitsucko said...

Snob, you fucking slay me every time. I want to thank you for all the hours you have helped me pass, with very few worthwhile memories. Keep writing, you giant asshole.

Anonymous said...

Crosspalms 12:36:

Snobby notwithstanding, I bet this guy went into a bar later that night, walked over to the jukebox and said "Whats a girl like you doing in a place like this?"

Philip Williamson said...

100%! Surprising. 4 broken spokes from touching a wheel! Shit.

Gordon said...

ladymtbiker @1:35PM

All the lady mountain bikers that I have seen endo have usually included a well timed utterance of the work 'fuck', just before contact with the ground.

I am starting to think that they were not girl scouts.....

db said...

I don't know why, but the inspirational line of "Never lose sight of your dreams" in the calendar actually made me laugh out loud.

Have a great holiday, Snob.

Oh, and +1 on getting yelled at this week by motorists. Someone somewhere is making it an issue, it seems...

Nebraska bike commuter (non-DWI edition) said...

Worked hard in the jury room. Brain hurts. Good to get home and read what ol' douchey Wild Mug Cat Rock Shot Machine has writ. Aced the quiz to boot. Must be because the brain was still churning.

1: Guilty

2: Guilty

3: Guilty

crosspalms said...

No bills, no laws today? Something must be up. And no sign of BGW either. He seems like an Occupy Oakland type somehow, and if so I hope he's OK.
Enjoy the holiday, WRM, and don't give a thought to your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to read free. Just lift your lamp beside the golden door a week from Monday, we'll be fine.

Gallagher. Really? No. said...

Leroy,
I see by my web site that I'll be playing Mandan, ND, on the 29th. Please be my guest and I'll give you one of the Gallagher for Governor buttons I also sell on my web site. If I'd been one of those cops, I'd have laughed. And handed out buttons.

Schemp said...

Is it just me or does Frank Cohen look a lot like Larry from the 3 Stooges?

Anonymous said...

Pametha
i will show you a few tattoos in hidden locations. are you in town?
caleb

vampire squid said...

What's all this about Octopi Wall Street?

Anonymous said...

Caleb

I am not sure what city you are in?
I am in Portland.
I was looking for the lobster king to show me some original skin.

Pametha

Quilled and Lugged said...

Original skin, meh. I'm looking for your original face.

g-roc said...

Bunch of Lob-damn boot lickers. Snob isn't getting funnier everday. The only reason I read it religiously is to satisfy my masochistic tendencies. Mind you, there are some good tips - planning on showing up late for my next solo ride. Come to think of it, I'm sure that's a recycled tip from an old post.

Anonymous said...

g-coc a loc said...
Bunch of poochy ass lickers. Snob isn't getting hand jobs everyday. The only reason I read it religiously is to satisfy my multiple masturbations when my wife serves cocktails. Mind you, there are some good cocktail wieners - planning on cumming in my pants late for my next solo ride. Cum to think of it, I'm sure that's a recycled tip from an old rod in your ass.

RemiXXed

Mr. Magic said...

Assnonymous Re-dicked @2:29
shows the effects of too much pornography.

Anonymous said...

Snob, you magnificent bastard, I'm reading your book (on an iPad). Anyway I can get some stickers?

wishiwasmerckx said...

I am a little confused about the length of Snob's break. Just exactly how long does it take for a lobster to molt, anyways?

Nebraska bike commuter (non-DWI edition) said...

My take on the tri-dork crash is that once he went off the road his wheel either went in a hole deep enough stop his wheel (in its damaged state) or one of the loose spokes managed to get jammed in the fork. The rider seems to me to have his hand off the left-hand brake lever when it happens. I doubt that his brakes are set up Sheldon Brown style, and if they were, I doubt that he'd be using his front brake (right-hand lever) by itself.

just sayin...

Joe Monk Wolf said...

BSNYC-RTMS-WCRM-DOUCHE BUCKET might be headed to a beautiful cycling part of the world; and if he does, some of us will be eating our hearts out. Deal with it in a positive manner. I hope he has an amazing cycling experience to share.

Anonymous said...

Pie at last!
Pie at last!
Thank Lob Almighty!
There is pie at last!

I am a sympathetic engine said...

After watching these videos I can only determine one thing, Cyclocross in 1997 was just fucking stupid.

the second observation is that people who have cameras should not do stupid things in triathalons.

That looked like it really hurt.

Bill Smith said...

I know Bike Snob likes to make fun of cyclocross, but it looks like fun.

Anonymous said...

Poor chipmunck has to work backwards.

leroy said...

Oh great.

My dog just told me he invited his riding buddies over to watch the Westminster Kennel Club show that's broadcast after the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Last year, they filled the toilet with Margaritas and heckled the TV.

And, of course, you couldn't keep them off the sofa.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Leroy,
don't tell me that's your dog
and his buddies
playing poker
in that famous poster!

leroy said...

Marcel -- the dogs playing poker series were way before my dog's time. My grandfather had a C.M. Coolidge reproduction when I was a kid.

Those prints are wholesome Americana.

When my dog and his riding buddies get together, it's just irritating.

At least it's off season and they won't be clogging my bathtub drain when they shave their legs.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Leroy,
I know, I know...every time you mention
your dog and his buddies, I see a contemporary version
of those classic images:
A dog pack dressed in skinny jeans, plaid shirts and riding fixies ( with brakes). I'm not implying your dog's a hipster, of course.

crosspalms said...

hungry panda,
I just noticed that Rivendell is carrying bamboo stuff. No bikes, but you could snack on this till one shows up.

bikesgonewild said...

...@crosspalms...thanks for the concern & while i'm in absolute empathy with the 'occupy-ing forces' throughout the country, i've 'been there, done that' years ago, as far as putting my ass on the line, literally...

...while i still believe there is a need for physical protest, my body has taken enough abuse...

...(((...speaking of which, as an aside, i suffered a physical 'impairment' recently & while i'm a-okay, i needed to re-focus for a bit...)))...

...& speaking of 'ass on the line', while some of my comments over the years deserve to go straight into the crapper, the crabon fibre toilet seat drew me back (slightly) but it was anon 2:21pm - 11/18's comment that brought me all the way back...

...while, in one sense, it was paean to the over-the-top, technologically creative aspects of 'toidy time', i don't think he/she/it was aware of just how much it was a self tribute to their very own ego & obviously over needy ass...

...having said that, i will make a brief suggestion...

...most of us, whilst not having a need for all the bells n' whistles of the aforementioned throne or even the 'high performance' luxury of the crabon fibre crapper surround, do suffer, now that winter is upon us, from early morning, freezing ass cold (almost literally) toilet seats...

...my friends, you can crap in commodal comfort with a simple, padded toilet seat (sold in any big hardware store) because "***they don't get cold !!!***"...

...to say more would be a disservice to the public service of this message...

...just sayin'...(whoops)...

JDH said...

BGW - Reading your posts is just as entertaining as WCRM/BSNYC. And now, since the Snob is vacating, I wish to add, I hope the comments section doesn't turn into the cheap podium dash that followed his last absence
.

JDH said...

Period.

bikesgonewild said...

...thank you, jdh but i don't wish to tread on any toes, so, please, think of my contributions as nothing but 'public service announcements'...

bikesgonewild said...

...ellipsis...

wishiwasmerckx said...

BGW, thanks for the update on your recent hemmorhoid flare-up. I'll now enjoy my dinner that much more...

wishiwasmerckx said...

We have some work to do if we are to crest the 1,000 comment mark in Snob's absence.

wishiwasmerckx said...

...and 100th!

Anonymous said...

JDH @6:47 ---

"I hope the comments section doesn't turn into the cheap podium dash that followed his last absence."

99!

Anonymous said...

Aaah! 102nd actually!

Boxed in! Renshaw screwed up! Waaah!

bikesgonewild said...

...wishiwasmerckx...obviously you can't tell 'your ass from your armpit'...nor mine, for that matter 'cuz it was a dislocated shoulder...

...but, hey, enjoy dinner, amigo...

JDH said...

Arrrrrrgh!

frilly said...

Marcel Da Chump, the dog & its entourage probably are not hipsters. Leroy said they drink margaritas, not PBR.

bikesgonewild said...

...hi frilly...

ce said...

deutschbag

ce said...

deutschbucket

Marcel Da Chump said...

frilly,
gotta love a dog with an entourage.

crosspalms said...

jdh,
No worries, the cheap podium dash doesn't come till Sunday. Everything up till then will be erudite and high-toned. Meanwhile, here's a cheap podium hyphen -

ken e. said...

onesez!!!
(chck chck chck)

y'all need to check the japanese and their mad toilet seat stylings.

wishiwasmerckx said...

I wanted to share an erudite quote on student loan debt from Time Magazine a week or two ago:

"There's also the problem of what these graduates studied. The U.S. is not producing enough science and math majors, so high-paying positions in related fields are going either unfilled or to foreign applicants. A liberal arts education, the pride of the American undergraduate system, increasing looks like the road to financial distress."

frilly said...

A dog with an entourage is bad news. Y'know one or two wingmen are acceptable, but an entourage--nope.

Hi BGW! Hope you are feelin' better. On a personal note--dumped the triathlete & am getting ready to buy a used Giant hybrid to replace the Beast. Not nearly as sassy, but it'll do. Life is pretty damn good!

frilly said...

*crickets*

Marcel Da Chump said...

frilly,
I beg your pardon. In all my naivete,
the two-legged dog breed
never crossed my mind.

Fred said...

Hey Frilly,
Judging by that video, those triathletes dump themselves.

>snap<

bikesgonewild said...

...hey, thanks frilly...got out for my first ride (short) in several weeks (long) & while the effort was never intense (hardly), it felt good (nice)...

...& it's not so much about 'what' (hybrid) you ride but that you get out there on whatever you choose & enjoy yourself when you get the chance...

ken e. said...

word to that!

theEel said...

weed.

skink said...

http://amsterdamize.com/2011/11/22/unfazed-and-nonplussed/
high grade stuff

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speedy said...

I am in love with the competition!

a thousand leaves said...

http://ffffound.com/image/561374f3726b1575d29039fffda5b263ce1c54df
a perfect decor for a carbon toilet seat.

Hungry Panda said...

I am adding my two cents in for the 1000 comment dash.

Wish somebody would talk about bamboo bikes?

screaming skull said...

"Wish somebody would talk about Bamboo Bikes" sounds like a David Byrne song!

Anonymous said...

screaming skull -- Funny you should mention David Byrne. I'll bet you didn't know this, but he doesn't own a car!

Oh, and welcome back, Frilly! We've missed you!

screaming skull said...

David Byrne doesn't own a car?!

"More songs about buildings and food"...

I say!

crosspalms said...

David Byrne lives in NY and doesn't own a car? Madness.
Hey, BGW, sorry to hear about your shoulder but glad you're back and back on the bike.
Frilly, nice to see you too. Are you baking for Thanksgiving?
Happy and safe Thanksgiving all! Second helpings of bamboo stuffing for Hungry Panda.

Leif Hostile said...

The Cheap Dash To The Podium begins NOW!!!! Come on, dammit!!!
Get out there and PULL or get back to the peloton! @#$%^&*!!!

I am Leif Hostile: Permanently Angry Cyclist and Champion Yeller At Other Cyclists and Still Pissed About The Railroad Crossing Incident at Paris-Roubaix A Few Years Ago! Grrrrrrrrrr!

Leif Hostile said...

The Cheap Dash To The Podium begins NOW!!!! Come on, dammit!!!
Get out there and PULL or get back to the peloton! @#$%^&*!!!

I am Leif Hostile: Permanently Angry Cyclist and Champion Yeller At Other Cyclists and Still Pissed About The Railroad Crossing Incident at Paris-Roubaix A Few Years Ago! Grrrrrrrrrr!

Joe Monk Wolf said...

Well, let's talk turkey.

leroy said...

Cheetos.

My dog wants Cheetos to snack on when he and his buddies watch the dog show tomorrow after the parade.

Some wolf pack.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I like white meat. That's the turkey's boob.

Midnight Express said...

I'm a leg and booty man,
dark meat all the way.

Nebraska bike commuter (non-DWI edition) said...

My name is David, and as a David I find it hard to believe that David Byrne doesn't own a car. I don't know any other adult Davids who don't own a car. I wonder if the rest of us Davids should all pitch in and get him one. A car, that is.

Waters said...

My name is Mudd and Byrne would soon enough have another David than a car.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Hey Frilly, any truth to the rumor that you are going to be on "Real Housewives of Saint Louis?"

bikesgonewild said...

...crosspalms...thanks for the shout-out...good to be (half) back & i'll need a few good rides to consider i'm anywhere close to being anything other than that...

...speaking of shouting, fucking 'leif hostile' is so angry, he hadda shout it out twice...whew !!!...

...if anybody is in brooklyn tomorrow, it won't be hard to avoid the yellow snow 'cuz there'll be orange paw prints leading up to it...

...just sayin'...

...guys & ladies of course, have a great thanksgiving day...

...i try & remember to give a little 'thanks' every day...

JDH said...

PODIUM?! Shit.

ce said...

Design student meets pie plate

aabner58 said...

The sand will cause friction on the chain and the gears and will cause more wear and tear on your cruiser.
bike basket

frilly said...

Fred--And their social skills are a direct correlation to their bike handling skills.


BGW--right on!

Anon 4:10--Merci!

Crosspalms--Of course. Bobby Flay's dressing recipe, chocolate pie, & a cherry pie.

wiwm--Not a chance. Although I enjoy the finer things in life, my definition of the finer things has changed a lot in the last couple of years: a really cold beer after a really hot ride, a non-windy day in the low 80's, dudes with shaved legs, etc. However, you will still have to pry my Coach bag out of my rigor mortised (?) hands.

Nebraska bike commuter (non-DWI edition) said...

@ce; That's pretty damn cool!

ce said...

NBC(NDWIE), it is something. I'm imagining an animated Zipp logo, or an animated Team Layohpardtrek Cycling Team logo.

diamond rings said...

haha..cool story...and funny :D

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150th!!!!!!!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Leroy, and all I want for Festivus is free fumigation. Sweet!

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