Tuesday, October 25, 2011

What to Inspect When You're Expecting: Letting Nature Take Its Coarse

Further to yesterday's post, it turns out people have vociferous and disparate feelings when it comes to human reproduction. In particular, it seems that some people really do believe that not having babies will somehow save the Earth. Well, to them I pose the following question:

"Without more people, who will staff the Starbucks?!?"

Think about it. Do you think a moose or a kangaroo or even a monkey could figure out how to make a Venti White Chocolate Mocha? I doubt it. (Well maybe the monkey could, but not without a human in a green apron to teach him, and then he'd still be unable to make correct change.) And if there are no people left to make Venti White Chocolate Mochas, then who will make coffee for the animals? See, they need us--and we need them, so that they can fulfill their divine purpose by dying and becoming oil. It's called "symbiosis." Or "symbiolosis." Or "sciatica" or something. I don't know, look it up.

And I'm not even going to get into the fate of the iPhone in a people-free world. Won't somebody please think of the iPhones?!?

Anyway, one person who is untroubled by the moral implications of procreation is famed bicycle cycling sprinter and current World Champion Mark "The Man Missile" Cavendish, who recently issued forth the following "Tweet" concerning the issue of his issue:

I'm assuming the "beyond doubt" part means he was withholding the "Tweet" pending the results of the DNA test. Yes, paternity can sometimes come down to what you might euphemistically call a "photo finish" if there are a lot of other "sprinters" involved, so it's always good to make sure the "win" really belongs to you and not one of your competitors. Such is the chaos inherent in the "bunch sprint" of life.

Needless to say, I'm very happy for them both, and since one day that mini-"Man Missile" or petite Peta (as the case may be) is going to ask his or her parents where he or she came from, I've prepared an explanation in a child-friendly storybook format so that they can let the little Man or Peta (not to be confused with mani-pedi) figure it out for him- or herself.

How Pro Cycling Babies Are Made

One day, Daddy, who was an awesome sprinter, saw something that he liked very, very much:


Actually, he saw two things that he liked very much, and both of them were attached to Mommy:

(So ample is Peta's bosom that it provides plenty of room for censorship by means of the "recumbabe," who is in turn censored by the time-traveling t-shirt-wearing retro-Fred from the planet Tridork Bret.)

Daddy was sponsored by a mobile phone company at the time, so he paid somebody at the company to give him Mommy's number, even though it was a secret:

("I'm thumbing my nipple right now, does that turn you on?")

Mommy wasn't impressed, but Daddy was persistent:

("I have something this big to give you!")

Mommy was amazed by the size of Daddy's, uh, palmar├Ęs, and so they did something with a dirty name that mommies and daddies do when they love each other very much:


Twelve minutes later, Daddy "popped his top""

Daddy's bottle was full of millions of tiny "bubbles," which all raced as fast as they could to make friends with Mommy's inside parts. Daddy's "bubbles" were very, very fast, but one "bubble" was even faster than the rest:

(The winning sperm benefitted from many off-season hours in the wind tunnel.)

Soon, something was growing inside of Mommy:

And then, nine moths later, a stork carrying a precious bundle came:

Which really has nothing whatsoever to do with the story, except that it happened around the time you came out of Mommy's vagina:

It hurt Mommy a lot, which is why she's squeezing Daddy's "pants yabbies."

Now, Mommy and Daddy are very tired all the time, and that's why they smell like whiskey:

The end.

Speaking of Twitter and the natural course of things, Copenhagenzine alerted me via the aforementioned social network of the following "modest proposal:"

A lot of deer get hit by cars west of Crown Point on U.S. 231. There are too many cars to have the deer crossing here. The deer crossing sign needs to be moved to a road with less traffic.

- Tim Abbott, Crown Point

Wow.

See? We don't need to stop reproducing in order to save the environment. All we need is better signage for the animals. Remember all that unpleasantness with the BP spill in the Gulf of Mexico? Well, we could have been spared all those images of oil-slathered wildlife if only BP had posted a bunch of these all over the beach:

Sure, you'd have to tweak it a bit since I don't think there were too many oil-coated baboons and kangaroos paddling around out there, but you get the point. With adequate signage, all the animals would have simply gone to the pool instead until the wonderful people at BP had a chance to fix the leak. This is yet another argument in favor of human reproduction. Without us, who the hell is going to put up signs? Those stupid animals will have no idea where to go. They'd probably just stand around licking themselves.

Meanwhile, in other wildlife news, a reader tells me that a man who looks like he should be living in a ramshackle shack with a blunderbuss is selling a state-of-the-art time trial bike:

Of course, pro cycling fans will recognize the seller as Dave Zabriskie:

(Old Man Zabriskie says: "I done whittled it with my own two hands.")

If you want to own an authentic piece of artisanal backwoods hand-crafted Americana, this is the bike for you. If you don't, then git offa his property or he's a-gonna shoot.

And speaking of incongruous images, Eric in Seattle spotted this Huffy Santa Fe on the back of a Jaguar:

Either some snotty kid is going to be extremely disappointed with the fixed-gear conversion he's getting for Christmas, or that doofus John Cassidy is about to get back in the saddle again.

156 comments:

ken e. said...

podium!

PK said...

Podium!

Kenny said...

AND THAT'S HOW A BILL BECOMES A LAW!!

Ed said...

top 5

Save teh Freds said...

top 5!

poole said...

top 10

Fistfull of Coppi said...

POINTS!

Anonymous said...

What am I 7th or 8th?

grog said...

TOPP TTEN
RCUM BABE
HUFF YJAG

Anonymous said...

That Peta must have been a podium girl for the old Milk Race, no?

Anonymous said...

Amoost top tenz.
Zoots.

SLAM said...

Douchesquement out of top ten.

Jim Partsguy said...

I could have gotten Peta prego faster than the man-missle did.

I am unimpressed.

P. Bateman said...

this post was so epic.

Anonymous said...

I remember a Vermont state highway person who pointed out that the problem with deer crossing signs is that only one of the parties involved in the collision can read.

Apparently this traditional folk wisdom is no longer universally shared.

After being quoted, the Vermonter went off to clean his blunderbuss.

SingleSpeedMark said...

Wow.

pebes said...

oh! i so miss john cassidy. i hope he snaps at being poked with a stick.

also- i think its fine to have kids as long as you don have too many and you teach em how to be good humans. non of this 18 kid Dugger bullshit. every couple having two kids will still result in a negative birthrate.

Anonymous said...

As a person with 19 children I fid you very defensive when it comes to those not having children.

Anonymous said...

Comments asking BSNYC to be less opinionated are a tad mis-guided. Expecting someone who calls himself SNOB to be nice is like expecting someone named Long Dong Silver to keep his pants on.



balls.

Anonymous said...

no baby = mo´ money for da weed, I say

top 20

Hell In A Handbasket said...

No mo babies or Ima fucking kill you

The public at large said...

Dear Snob, please be less opinionated.

Anonymous said...

Extraordinary: a kind of triathlon where ppl actually do have bike handling skills, and better, they can fix a flat !!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=JQwHb6K_n5Q

wishiwasmerckx said...

Somebody told me that you could bid on ebay on a saddle which has a lingering smell of ballsweat mixed with DZ Nuts chamois creme, and that if you are the high bidder, the seller might even throw in most of a high-zoot time trial bike at no extra cost!

Sweet!

Ol' Hipster said...

Having kids is a pretty selfish act. Not that I'd never do it, but just don't pretend that the world needs your progeny. All things considered, the world would probably be slightly better off without.

Peta for Prezzzzz... said...

I googled Peta Todd, my goodness. I am a member of PETA, Posers for the Equal Treatment of Ampleness.

crosspalms said...

What a heartwarming story. Reminds me of Elmo and Katy Perry. And it's nice that the man with the walnut glove box agreed to be a godfather. I hope they give their child a bamboo bike so the pandas won't starve, because you're right -- we have to think of the animals.

Unknown said...

Correction: Huffy Santa Fe with crackhead bars.

Anonymous said...

Snob;
The Great Lob of the Cold Deep built ladies and some are designed to float...face up...really good.

BOUY ANT!

Buy-cycle said...

I heard 2+2= Vagina. Top 50?

Dirty Sanchez said...

At the 12 minute mark when the missle blows, Ale-Jet's mouth appears to be full of something...hmmm...conspiracy theorist's UNITE!!!

horndog said...

where to I find the uncensored Peta pics?

Anonymous said...

who the hell would pay $5,000 for a bike with no wheels. how would you ride it? duh.

Anonymous said...

TIGO BIDY

finn maguire said...

Ima give Tim Abbot from Crown Point the benefit of the doubt and assume he was making a joke about the deer crossing...

Anonymous said...

speaking of licking yourself, if you could would you blow yourself? and if so would you spit, swallow or expel into a kleenex? I hope this isn't too off topic. By the way, what's this blog about again?

I'm with Finn said...

That was purty damn funny!

Baby Huey said...

Cav's child is going to have a lovely surprise when he/she sees whats for dinner.

BEST BRST

Anonymous said...

i have placed this buffer between the above comment and the next one...feel free to continue where we left off before the interuption

Anonymous said...

I have an erection.

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

I'd like a glass of milk, please.

RANTWICK said...

Hey, I've heard that "don't have any children" thing somewhere else, strangely a discussion on pannier materials!

If you have any children, that's probably the biggest single negative environmental action you will ever take in your life...

That whole stupid forum discussion spawned this post for me back in 2009.

People are puzzles.

Anonymous said...

B(oYo)BIES

Anonymous said...

8=====D ~ ~ ~

ED said...

God I didn't realize how young Mark and Peta are. Sheeeit. Now I feel old.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Hey! That's my bike! The type of Huffy
I rode to Bear Mountain
32 years ago;
not made for climbing,
but a hill bomber.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Speaking of standing around and licking yourself, has anyone else experienced this scenario:

"I couldn't help but notice you staring at me from across the bar."

"I couldn't help it. You were licking yourself."

"Sorry I started without you."

Anonymous said...

Today's humans create tons and tons of trash that will never biodegrade - they, and their snot-face offspring - will forever pollute the natural beauty of this planet. More crotch fruit means more shopping malls, more fishing, more people spoiling natural, unspoiled habitat. I value clean water, trees, no pollution. I don't value screaming toddlers, landfills full of disposable diapers taking thousands of years to break down, etc. No one likes the product of some guy's spooge and the creature that slithered from mommy's crotch, other than mommy and daddy - no one likes your damn kids!

Anonymous said...

And all of the synthetic hormones (birth control pills) and prescription drugs humans pump into themselves are discharged into drinking water. "I'll have an ice water with lemon and progesterone, please." These pollutants are not benign, they are having profound changes on ecosystems. More people = more pollution and less resources per capita. Less resources = more scarcity and more war. Humans are a parasitic virus - the only species on this planet that habitually destroys its environment (host). Humans have no respect for nature, and no respect for each other. Less people would be the best thing to ever happen in the world. Just makes me want to punch a child in the face. There is nothing more satisfying.

Hey horndog said...

try the Google on the what they call the "intranit"

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:45:

If I could blow myself I certainly would have saved a bundle on dates in expensive resturants.

Anonymous said...

anon@235 --

Oh, that's all right.

No one likes you, either. Unless you sprang miraculously from the ocean on a half shell, or something.

ervgopwr said...

I don't mean to hate on the manx missle, but I do remember seeing a documentary way back when he was rising up through the ranks and he had his hometown girlfriend. And he was all, "yeah she stuck with me when I sucked, etc" and now he's the green jersey winner/campeon del mundo etc with a model gf/babies mama.

Nice to upgrade, cause it's not like Mr. Banana got a lot better looking, he's still just a bike dork.

Just the fastest one on the planet.

No hate, just an observation.

All you haters can suck the game.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:35pm,

Clean water, natural beauty, unspoiled habitats: good.

Human children, shopping malls, pollution: bad.

Where does posting comments on blog posts full of booby jokes fall in this hierarchy?

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

anon @240 --

Well, maybe you'd like to try this little punching exercise, but to be fair you should do it when Daddy is right there, ideally with a baseball bat in hand.

That would certainly help the population problem!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous just read "Ishmael" and is on a mission. Considering enrolling in Evergreen and joining Earth First?
Consider offing yourself instead. One less parasite.

Winwood said...

We were children once
playing with toys
and the thing that you're hearing
is only the sound
of the low spark
of high-heeled boys

the percentage you're paying
is too high priced
while you're living
beyond all your means
and the man in the suit
has just bought a new car
from the profits
he's made on your dreams

but today you just read
that the man was shot dead
by a gun that didn't make any noise
but it wasn't the bullet
that laid him to rest
was the low spark of high-heeled boys

Anonymous said...

well if you're gonna have kids, at least limit it to one or two at most

skink said...

I wanna start a band
called CROTCH FRUIT.

CommieCanuck said...

Finally, I learned something on the internet about how babies are made. But, where do the latex mask and handcuffs fit in?

So confused.

screaming skull said...

"I love that dirty water"!

Nogocyclist said...

Just an observation that needs to be made.

If we had less people on the earth and therefore a more perfect world, wouldn't there be less people, not more, to appreciate that fact?

Beware the Alpaca Lips said...

Anon 2:35, so I should care about saving the planet for someone else's kids to enjoy? What's the point? Screw that. This planet's going down!

If it rains, take the H2.

CommieCanuck said...

according to this, CROTCH FRUIT is available.

Anonymous said...

@wildcat: the boobie jokes were an afterthought, as the blog post starting with a reference to "vociferous and disparate feelings when it comes to human reproduction."

CommieCanuck said...

anonymous 2:35...of course, this opinion about procreation excludes yourself, doesn't it?

Less people = higher percentage of smug assholes with German cars.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 3:12pm,

As the blogger, I can assure you it was quite the opposite--the introduction was the afterthought and was merely a setup for the centerpiece, which was the booby jokes.

If this reinforces your negative view of humanity, I don't blame you.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

CommieCanuck said...

Anon 2:35, when you speak of crotch fruit, are we talking plantains, bananas or those cute, tiny mini-bananas.

(I'm talking about penises..penii?)

CommieCanuck said...

BOOB JOKE

Anonymous said...

MOTR BOAT

Anonymous said...

Peta her? I hardly know her!

(Boobs?)

I tried.

g said...

Can we all agree that it would be in humanity's best interest if Anon 235 and 240 don't reproduce.

portland anonymous said...

am i the only one imagining the epic size of peta nursing boobs ?

cyclotourist said...

The low-hanging crotch fruit always gets picked first.

ken e. said...

this is a game the regulars are guaranteed to win. consult your imagination, if you got any.

two words: geologic time

SMDG LAYR

ken e. said...

sorry no boob joke...

JB said...

Anon: can you take a ride in a DeLorean and preach to your parents?

Marcel Da Chump said...

Anon 2:35,40
IS NOT HUMAN!
IT'S NOT HUMAN!

skink said...

Commie,
thanks for that. Now I have to sell the idea to my ladies (who aren't speaking to me).
Spooge sounds like a winner, too.

bikesgonewild said...

...i really like bsnyc/rtms/wcrm's story about 'how pro cycling babies are made' but where's the part about the birds n' the bees ???...

self-obsessed and sexee said...

Why?why?why?...
every time I look at that Peta hand bra picture
I say, "oh, Lord"?

Buffalo Bill;s dad said...

What are kids good for? Well, mine sent me here, so he's got that going for him.

More Peta or ima kill you

Hungry Panda said...

'' I hope they give their child a bamboo bike so the pandas won't starve, because you're right -- we have to think of the animals."

I bet the missile will have a custom specialized carbon made for the little missile shortly.


I dont cross where there are no crosswalks, just makes sense, and you can never be too careful.

Anonymous said...

I have been to Crown Point, betting he was not kidding.

Anonymous said...

Posted 7/27/2011 10:29 am
I don't give a flying fuck about your children. I don't care who they are, where they are, how old they are, or what they are doing. Want me to see pictures of your kids or grandkids? Sure, but hold on while I turn on the paper shredder.

What's that? You're selling cookies/candy/condoms/raffles/ornaments/butt-plugs/prizes/trinkets so little Johnny and Sarah Jane can waste an afternoon at Disneyland? Sure I'll take some candy -- so long as I can smash it in your motherfucking face and retrieve it from your crusty rectum. This is an office where I do important work -- not a goddamn bazaar to peddle the wares of your snotnosed offspring.

I don't care how smart you think your kids are. No, your children aren't geniuses. You'll be lucky if your brats move out of your hovel at age 30 -- after they've climbed the ladder to success making change at a gas station.

You love your children? Good -- tell it to someone who gives a shit.

Keep your motherfucking brats out of movie theaters and restaurants. Seriously, no one wants the living incarnation of your seed disturbing our shows and meals, spreading viruses and bacteria with every goddamn thing they touch. You need a night out? Fine -- hire someone else's fucking brat to watch yours, you cheap piece of filth.

No, I don't want to pay more in taxes to send your pathetic pieces of dopeshit to school. Oh, you want "more resources"? Better "facilities"? Better student-teacher "ratios"? Well la-de-fucking-da: why don't you FUCKING PAY FOR IT. If you're not catching my drift, let me make it clear: I don't want to throw my money away educating your third-rate douchebag of a kid so he or she can wash my car on the weekend. You gave birth to it, you pay for it.

Your children are our future? Fuck the future, fuck your kids, and fuck you.

Stupid Name said...

I think the last guy had a pretty shitty childhood.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 5:13pm,

Well, if you're looking for babysitting work that's certainly not the way to go about it.

What are your feelings about the elderly?

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Googled said...

Anonymous 5:13pm, you´re a lazy fraud.

This rant is years old.

best of craigslist > new york > I don't give a flying fuck about your children.
Originally Posted: Mon, 16 Feb 19:47 EST
I don't give a flying fuck about your children.
Date: 2004-02-16, 7:47PM EST

Buffalo Bill said...

My dad smells like whiskey, but he only ever offers me beer.

Trailer Park Cyclist said...

Anon 5:13:

Really? I don't get the candy-in-the-face-retrieve-it-from my-crusty-rectum-part. You do that? How much per hour? What kind of candy? Do you have references?

I definitely agree that you are doing important work.

crosspalms said...

Funniest thing I've read so far: "This is an office where I do important work." I'm glad I paid to help educate you, anon 5:13, you obviously have a well developed sense of humor.

JB said...

5:13 anon: I await the story of how you worked two jobs to pay your own way though grade school.

Also, wouldn't you need condoms so you don't end up with offspring? Oh, that's not a problem for you? Makes sense.

crosspalms said...

There's a Best of Craigslist? Good thing the workday's almost over, I could waste hours on that.

Anonymous said...

I was blown away from such a great post. Aside form the disgusting pita pics of bosoms; I enjoyed reading a well written post by Wild Kat.

Googled said...

Due to popular demand (Crosspalms), here´s some reading material.
Enjoy!

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/

Blog Drafter said...

Peta, now there's a funny name.

Anonymous said...

Googled,

Dammit, I knew one of you netizens would bust my troll. I didn't know that gem had been floating around the web for 7 years already. Now excuse me while I change my daughter's leaky diarrhea-filled diaper and wash a load of her spit-up encrusted laundry.

-Anon 5:13

Etherhuffer said...

Anon 5:13's post made me tingle with civic pride in my fellow man.

Can't we all just get along?, otherwise Ima fucking kill ya.

Anonymous said...

"blog posts full of booby jokes"

Blue-footed or otherwise?

Please tell me before I make a tit of myself...

hey nonny mouse

Deer in the Headlights said...

Seriously, maybe most of us can't read, but we're not that dumb. The DOT is fully aware our rampant illiteracy and put a picture of a deer on the sign so we know where we're supposed to cross. I, for one, would really appreciate the crossings moved to safer locations.

Anonymous said...

loi 101

Morrisey said...

I am human

and I need to be loved

Half a Chubby said...

Do you have any idea how hard it is to have sex with a laptop propped on your wife's back? Those recumbents turn me on.

Baby said...

LOVE ME!

or I'ma kill ya!

Morrissey also said...

oh, let me
place my hands
on your
mammary glands

BENNY KANYA. said...

I'm back! After a two month break. What have I missed?

Anonymous said...

I know this may sound mean, but 53 cm. are you serious, are all of these professional bikers dwarfs, or just small women. I need a bike which is normal size, and e-bay dont have it.

Nebraska bike commuter (non-DWI edition) said...

MONU MNTL
MAMA RIES

ladymtbiker said...

This got lost amidst all the "progeny--man or myth" hullaballoo, but I must comment:

Hey Anonymous 12:52-- you thought those triathletes doing the Xterra MTB section had bike handling skills? REALLY? Look again-- going down gravelly non-steep double-track they all looked terrified, really slow, and many many went down. NO ONE rode up anything remotely steep and the tiniest bit technical (read non-pavement) at all. And the guy changing the flat? He looked confused to me-- he was squeezing the tire like he was checking out peaches or something. Just my opinion...

Poppa Wheelie said...

BRST FEST

D'Allesandro said...

Lady MTB'er,
you're so right.
That was the lamest
display of mountain bike
riding I've ever seen.

bikesgonewild said...

...& i thought i had a an attitude about kids n' 'overpopulation'...pheeew !!!...

...i don't care who & when, somebody wrote that lovely little piece of vitriol & they make me look like a lightweight...

Anonymous said...

GOD will take witness of he who has cast the bad seed.

Anonymous said...

Hey all you willy nilly recumbent bashers it is time to say sorry to your chode, taint, conch or nether region.

I have massive erections because of the choice of my ride.

It seems these days all you limp dick road bikers should should wake up and smell your chamois...no one is going to suck your balls with a conch infection and a flaccid unit.

Balls out recumbent

leroy said...

Well I'll be darned.

You really can't tell who won the race until the test results come back.

Anonymous said...

Heh. Looks like a recumbent rider finally got lucky. This day will go down in recumbent history, no doubt. Congratulations, Dude!

But if, you know, you had to pay her it doesn't count.

Anonymous said...

Recumbant dude go home.
We are talking titties not massive erections.

Anonymous said...

It is also a well known fact that western civilizations need to have undergarments promote a bacterial wonderland in your crotch.

So this means I do not mangle my conch and I ride free balling with a utility kilt.
It feels like mother nature is blowing me.

Balls out recumbent

Anonymous said...

Anon 12:10
I only pay in back massages and pearl necklaces if you get my drift.

Balls out recumbent

Anonymous said...

Lol. BOR should hook up with BGW if they are not the same person.

bikesgonewild said...

...anonymous recumbedude...

...have you been reading to make you feel better about yourself because you ride a 'bent ???...

...'studies' never tell the real truth, they give you somebody's manufactured truth to justify their existence...

...just think...you could have been riding a 'manly' bike all this time & you still coulda had all the 'massive erections' (btw - are you in the construction biz ???) you needed...

...anyway, just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

Hey snob can you monitor the sick old freaks? I want my grandpa to be healthy, but I really don't want to hear about his erection. I like what you do and am a big fan.
Duane 'sick bmx'

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 12:34am...go fuck yourself...

...you just proved you're not intelligent enough to comment on this site...

Anonymous said...

Anon 12:34
No I am definitely not the BGW guy. I just read his post and am confused by what he meant by bent??? and another one from me ?

I am a man of science and although my beard maybe gray, my pecker is still hard.

Balls out recumbent

Anonymous said...

"Only creepy old men ride recumbents and pose with cucumbers. " Gwenyth Paltro

Enough already said...

Everybody knows about Viagra. Jesus, go watch a movie or something.

Anonymous said...

Snobby is it myth or reality that professional cyclists are limp dicked? We all know most of them are cocky enough to make up for it, but maybe you should devote a segment of your blog to it? Possibly a listener vote to help you sweep the bloggies?


Best
Jamie Corduroy

Anonymous said...

There is no doubt that bikes gone wild and balls out recumbent are the same guy simply because they both give out to much info.
It is also some pretty funny shit.
Keep the rubber side down boys!

bikesgonewild said...

...blah, blah, blah, dickwad...

Anonymous said...

Massive erections, suck your balls, pearl necklaces, this sounds like my last sexual encounter w/my one&only.

Panty-less always, backdoor maybe, never shave my legs & I'm a female roadie....

Anonymous said...

Well as it is a sporting ride with the bikes gone wild would be fun. No we are not the same or from the same mother.
I look to ride free and not hate.
Who on this blog has ever ridden balls out in a utilikilt drinking a martini?

ME!

Balls Out Recumbent

Anonymous said...

To who it may concern
I was searching for a new axe and came across this website. Kind of goofy shit you guys are up to. i know some people sometimes get busted for drugs and porn sometimes.I guess i would think about what your saying as the bible says. Some of that stuff will get you into trouble and then you have your problems the law and all the other shit. I am not dog the bounty hunter but am just giving a friendly advice to some of you.
He who may be judged upon the witness of his brethren may redeem himself in christ the lord.

Anonymous said...

Panty-less always
backdoor maybe
never shave my legs
& I'm a female roadie....

Cool, we should get some fish and chips.

-sPike

Anonymous said...

Believe it or not I'm vegan so there's no chance I'm eating fish 'n chips.
Plus I'm madly in love w/ a man that I met on the side of the highway; I had a flat& no air pump. He came through for me in more ways than one. He has a Rhino cock & I would not give him up for all the bikes in China.

XX DOUBLE00,air velo

Anonymous said...

@ Ladymtbiker

Easy, I meant it in an ironic way, i.e. they do have handling skills compared to regular triathletes. Come down, lady..

Then again, they certainly seem to have fun doing their thing, which definitly differs from triathlon

Anon 12:52

Anonymous said...

When I said fish and chips that was, you know code for 'I like to eat pussy'. I have no idea about rhino cocks, but it doesn't sound pleasant. Have you ever had a falafel sex?
Vegan!
Fun!

-sPike

Anonymous said...

Holy crap!
My morning cup of joe in hand and this place looks like a zoo. Is this turning into a dating site?
Can someone hook me up with a couple of donuts?
Will Glaze

Anonymous said...

All this talk of 'bents and dicks reminds me of my Peyronie's disease --

BENT DICK

It still works! Just.

Anonymous said...

Is Peta pronounced PEE-TA or PAY-TA?

Oh, never mind, I just realized its pronounced "MOMMIE"

db said...

There's no way Cav can last 12 minutes. He's a sprinter.

Anonymous said...

@ db

Thx for the enormous laugh dude, you made my day

Anonymous said...

I wonder if Peta would be interested in some of my artisanal mayo?


(boobs)

Mcfly said...

ladymtnbiker @ 9:46, you said checkin the tire like he was squeezing peaches, you talked about breasteses residually and didnt even mean to.

g said...

Wow, things get a little weird in the comments after about 7pm...

The Stranglers said...

walking on the beaches

looking at the peaches

Jim said...

Of course, can animals read? I took this on Antelope Island in 2006.

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2157/2038/1600/DSCN4966.jpg

you can check out my old blog posts, back when I had time and inclination to write...

St. Petey said...

Christ was a cool dude. And a goofball.
He'd love this blog.
As long as the joke is not the poor and defenseless, he'd laugh his heart out.

CommieCanuck said...

anon 5:13, I'll give the babysitting job if you can stay past 11. You've inspired me to knock up my wife again.

"This is an office where I do important work". Somehow, I doubt that, your job will likely be replaced by some Java code on a website soon. But that's ok, I'll just tell my kids not to stare at the lonely old man giving BJs to hobos.

Niall said...

"Slaying the Badger" has several photos of Greg Lemond racing on a Huffy. Which was a surprise, but, in retrospect, my old Huffy BMX-styled bike with coaster brake took all the abuse a six year old kid could throw at it with aplomb.

http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/fortune_archive/1986/09/01/68017/

Oz said...

Great Blog, congratulations.
http://leyendas-de-oriente.blogspot.com/

petrus said...

Crotchety will do as crotchets. or something.

Thanks for the post, WRM! Just catching up after a week in the hospital for my son's birth, same day as this post, appropriately enough.

To all the earth loving people haters, move along now, your footprints are a little big. I'd enjoy and respect the earth more if you'd stop stepping all over it.

whytera said...

You can do this from suprisingly low expenses by way of looking around for the very best costs as it really is done on the internet over the Buy WOW Gold EU wide web. Based on what stage you are within your game, you might want to purchase Buy Cheapest WOW Gold.

Anonymous said...

This is good site to spent time on. allergy Read a useful article about tramadol tramadol

ekle paylas said...

nice blog Thanks for sharing. voicesohbet was really very nice.
sesli chat siteleri sesli sohbet
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslichat seslisohbet
sesli siteleri chat siteleri
sohbet siteleri sesli siteler
voice sohbet

Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work. general health Read a useful article about tramadol tramadol

Fixie Bikes said...

Procyclers are an ugly bunch.