Monday, October 24, 2011

Forking in the Road: Midlife Crisisway

Last Friday I mentioned "(R)Evolutions per Minute," a forthcoming documentary on cargo bikes, as well as the accompanying video. I did so because, as a bit of a budding cargo bike enthusiast myself, I find the project legitimately interesting. Also, I'm fascinated by the many forms smugness can take. For example, consider this comment one viewer left on the video:

Just don't have children. It's the nicest thing anyone can ever do for the environment.

TheLonelyImmortal 2 days ago


As cloyingly smug as people with children can be, it cannot compete with the smugness of the resolutely childless. Parental smugness hinges on the belief that your children are special, which is obviously completely sickening to everybody around you. However, non-parental smugness is based on an even more self-righteous principal, which is that the millions of years of human reproduction that culminated in your birth were somehow acceptable, but now that you exist the entire system should be shut down going forward. They're like those people who have no problem shoving their way onto a crowded subway car yet refuse to let anybody else on.

Though arguably there's no greater smugness than that exhibited by the typical American dog owner:


Or by the cat owner who also happens to be moving by bike:

Are the signs really necessary here? I suppose so, since once you attain a certain "smugness quotient" you need the world to know that you're only voluntarily inconveniencing yourself and that you're not actually poor or homeless, which has considerably less cachet in most gentrified neighborhoods. You want everybody to know you still live in a brownstone and not a refrigerator box--though I'm sure it's only a matter of time before someone in Portland starts selling "live-in bakfiets."

Speaking of the cargo bike video, one blog commenter pointed out that the filmmaker is using clipless pedals with her "bake feets:"

This is a tremendous smugness style faux pas, since everybody knows that the only appropriate footwear for cargo cycling is the sandal:

If you're new to cycling you may not realize this, but the rest of us know that the complexity of your footwear should vary inversely with the weight of your bicycle. That's why when you ride a 17lb road bike you wear a ratcheting shoe made from space-aged materials that integrates with your pedals, but when you're carrying 60lbs of wheat germ, a used papasan chair, and a nonplussed Golden Retriever you wear a pair of filthy worn-out flip-flops. You can tell a "real" roadie from his shaved legs and tan lines, and you can tell a "real" cargo biker from his armor-like callouses and blackened toenails. Armadillo-like feet are the tanned-and-shaved legs of the cargo bike world. This also explains the "(R)Evolutions per Minute" pedicure scene:

You don't want to let your callouses get too big, or else they keep hitting the chainstays while you ride.

Of course, not all the video commentary was negative, and one viewer had this to say:

The bride sitting pretty with the groom pedaling them off into the distance beats the traditional carry her over the threshold! If only there were more brides and grooms like that.

c33r0k33 3 days ago



I disagree. It seems to me they could combine their love of cargo bikes with the whole traditional threshold thing by consummating their marriage in the back of a pedi-Sukkah:
As it says in the Torah, "If that pedi-Sukkah's a-davening, don't come a-knockening."

Of course, there are those who argue that the whole cargo bike thing is merely an affectation being embraced by middle-aged people with lofty ideals and disposable income. Indeed, sometimes it can seem as though there's a proverbial fork in the proverbial road of life that one eventually encounters. One fork leads to cargo bikes, and the other to expensive road bikes, as in this article which was forwarded to me by a reader:


In particular, it appears that aging techo-douches are increasingly turning to Fred-dom:

Men who once thrilled to Kraftwerk and Italian piano house get a thing for cycling gear because it reminds them of their original Balearic jaunts and harks back to Weller during his Cappuccino Kid days.

Eeew.

Not only that, but they're actually comparing Rapha to the Sex Pistols:

Cycling convert Gary Kemp, Spandau Ballet's guitarist, remembers the first time he clocked the carefully art-directed photography of the Rapha website four and half years ago. 'It was like the time I saw the Sex Pistols at The Screen on the Green and swore I'd never wear flares again. Here was a new tribe and I knew that I had to be part of it. Within minutes I was buying clothes from this supercool English company, and I didn't even have the bike!'

By the way, just in case you haven't yet reached that fork in the road that is middle age, this is Spandau Ballet. Perhaps now, going forward, Rapha's famous "epic" suffer-fest videos will have a slightly different atmosphere. Rapha should also phase out the "Gentlemen's Rides" and replace them with "Douche Rides" like these:

Gary and I are, as we were in our nightclub days, quietly hardcore. Mid-ride coffee breaks are full of compliments on each other's weight loss and new kit. We will swap stories of 100-mile jaunts to the Chilterns, the 21km climb up France's Col de Mont Ventoux, the grit of L'Etape du Tour (an amateur stage of the Tour de France), the perils of the strada bianchi on the annual L'Eroica in Italy's Chianti region. Anywhere there are big hills, expensive hotels and nice restaurants, basically. We go, as we once did to Soho bars, as a group - a gang of over-pampered rock'n'rouleurs.

Eeew.

And who's the patron saint of douchey Freds? Why, David Millar, of course:

In modern-day pro cycling, the cane/train hero is David Millar, captain of the Great Britain team that masterminded Mark Cavendish's victory at this year's World Championships in Copenhagen. Millar is a three-times yellow-jersey winner at the Tour de France, who came second in the recent Tour of Beijing, just days after his wife gave birth to his first son. He also has something of a reputation for good times. His autobiography Racing Through the Dark is a roller-coaster ride of punishing races, doping scandals and hog-whimperingly big nights out. He name-drops not just Lance Armstrong but also DJ Erick Morillo, describes the zigzagging 20 per cent climb of Alpe d'Huez on one page and thrills to the delights of Paris's Les Bains Douches nightclub the next. He's that rare breed of sophisticated, worldly and articulate gentleman sportsman who wants to win in life as well as on the road.

He even parties at a club with "douche" in the name.

Naturally, if you're contemplating becoming a techno-douche-turned-Fred, you'll need a suitable bike, and another reader has forwarded me a handy guide to the "Best Custom Road Bikes:"

It contains all manner of NAHBS artisanal handmade bike porn, such as Felt:


And Cannondale:

And of course the ultimate in custom handmade exotica, Trek:


Though when it comes to buying a custom road bike, you'd be hard-pressed to beat this:

Apparently, "the bike's classic Brooks leather saddle will age nicely." The rider, however, will not.

And if the fork in the road you find yourself encountering is more of a "spork," you may be tempted by a recumbent bike. In fact, yet another reader has informed me that the first recumbent trade show has just ended:


Its origins are folksy and humble:

OMONA, CA (BRAIN)—Year after year at Interbike, show attendees from the recumbent industry would get together for a dinner to discuss the state of the market in their corner of the cycling world. Often, the talk would turn to creating their own trade show, said Chuck Coyne, publisher and editor of Recumbent & Tandem Rider Magazine.

I'm guessing the discussions went something like this:

"Hey, we should have our own recumbent show. What do you think?"

"Totally! I'm down. What about you?"

"ZZZzzz..."

Nevertheless, the show became a reality, and by all accounts it was a smashing success:

Some 36 exhibitors displaying recumbent bikes, trikes, tandems, hand cycles, components and accessories—as well as representatives from advocacy groups—were set up in a 12,000-square-foot hall, with a demo area outside for test riding the latest in laid-bike cycles.

I'm assuming the "laid-bike" thing is a typo, because I'm not sure how "laid" you'd get on one of these:

(Spotted by a reader in Virginia.)

Then again, judging from the sexy "colorway" of that fairing, I could be totally mistaken. "If that 'bent's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'."

140 comments:

Rob said...

I'll be!!!

Kenny said...

AND THAT'S HOW A BILL BECOMES A LAW!

Anonymous said...

Smugness podium?

... said...

first?=

g said...

Just off....

Anonymous said...

toop teeeen

wishiwasmerckx said...

Toppus Tennus...

Prolly said...

They changed it to "Top Luxury Road Bikes" hah

Anonymous said...

That's it, I'm gettin' 'bent.

erik k said...

ALL YOU CHILDLESS HATERS CAN SUCK MY BALLS!!

Big Charlie said...

Articles like that one by the British technotool ensure that I describe myself as someone who rides a bike, and not a "cyclist".

Anonymous said...

What a douchetastic Monday! I'll never be able to listen to Spandex Ballet again. Not that I ever did before, at least on purpose.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Recumbents: Why wait until your ride is over to sit back and relax!

SLAM said...

What's the best custom crap bike?

... said...

Cycling convert Gary Kemp, Spandau Ballet's guitarist, remembers the first time he clocked the carefully art-directed photography of the Rapha website four and half years ago. 'It was like the time I saw the Sex Pistols at The Screen on the Green and swore I'd never wear flares again. Here was a new tribe and I knew that I had to be part of it. Within minutes I was buying clothes from this supercool English company, and I didn't even have the bike!'"


I mean seriously? How consumer whore can you get?

Marcel Da Chump said...

Yeah, I've reached that fork in the road...
I bought a lugged steel Italian hand built track frame...just been staring at it.

mikeweb said...

I wonder if the pedi-Sukkah can be acquired at Sukkah Depot.

atxcyclist said...

hilarious

mikeweb said...

So, recumbents are the Spork of the cycling world. Does that make tall bikes the Krazy Straw?

Anonymous said...

Five years of reading and moved at last to comment... Between the "custom" Treks, Rapha-buying non-cyclist 80s refugee douches, roadie vs utility cyclist footwear, and, especially, the who-is-more-smug parents vs childless, that was a weeks worth of blogging in one post. Excellent!

pebes said...

fucking, too right.

cyclotourist said...

PEDI CURE

Anonymous said...

"non-parental smugness is based on an even more self-righteous principal, which is that the millions of years of human reproduction that culminated in your birth were somehow acceptable, but now that you exist the entire system should be shut down going forward."

Wrong.

"there's no greater smugness than that exhibited by the typical American dog owner"

Right.

Fingerbang Assistant said...

Do you even have to lock a smugness floatilla when it has your life's belongings on it? Who would be so bold to curate someone else's identity?

Blog Drafter said...

Top to bottom hi-larious post.

"live-in bakfiets"

I read a poem once about single people being able to flee a fire as the parents rush back in...

le Correcteur said...

I'm moved to comment, but I've nothing to say. Except nice post, Snob.

Anonymous said...

PAPA WHEELIE!

Anonymous said...

Liz Canning is very sexy.

That's all I have to say.

Please resume.

cyclotourist said...

Do childless recumbent riders wear Rapha while listening to the Sex Pistols? Do custom Madone owners listen to Spandau Ballet while contemplating their toenails? Does anyone cringe at the thought of David Millar's douche bath? These are the existential questions that must be answered before one can accept their place in the universe.

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

I see how you did that at the end there

naming_namer_name_names said...

Thom Weisel is the pinnacle of all American cycling douche baggery.

Dentists and Lawyers have nothing on him.

Borderline Personality said...

Yeah, well I discovered Rapha 4.7 years ago, so there!

Charles said...

Yes, really great post today Snobby! Punched several buttons. Really liked the Recumbent tradeshow pre-planning discussion!

Anonymous said...

Eddie Boss is 100 meters back.

Anonymous said...

Having children on a planet with already close to 7 billion people is more akin to riding on a packed subway and thinking "This thing is f*#$ing crowded!" then immediately inviting all of your buddies to push themselves on board as well.


When there are no longer any children available for adoption then making a kid might start to become a necessary idea, but I can't imagine anything quite as smug as thinking "You know what this world needs? More of my DNA!" (For the record, I love babies. I just also hate mass starvation and climate change.)

Grump said...

Snob, you could be in the forefront of a new trend....Cargo bike racing. You will soon see all sorts of people riding around central park in skinsuits and aero helmets, on their cargo bikes. Soon to follow, would be "custom" Crabon fiber cargo bikes.

simple midwesterner said...

Re: live-in bakfiets,

I stumbled across this maker of bike-trailer shelters: http://www.tonystrailers.com/mobileshelter/

Does that count?

CommieCanuck said...

We can only wish that TheLonelyImmortal's parents were more environmentally aware.

Sweet recumbent training rigs.

Random Dentist said...

Hey! I own a Custom Road Bike! I feel better now. Thanks, WCRM.

Oh, and go ahead and make all the babies you want. It doesn't matter. Lob will sort it all out.

2lazy2patch said...

top 40, working on my form

CommieCanuck said...

For the record, I love babies. I just also hate mass starvation and climate change.

You could fix both problems by not eating meat.

Anonymous said...

As a father of 18 children I am amazed now at your smugness towards those without children as it used to be with those with children now that o have added 17 children to your life.

crosspalms said...

Has anyone tried the S-cargo bike, the one that's supposed to be delicious with garlic and melted butter?

Bikewritercat said...

So the childless are making their stand known in subway cars? No wonder there're so many people in the world--most of the baby-making happens elsewhere.

Anonymous said...

Is Gary Kemp the body double for Tony Blair now?

Anonymous said...

Is reading on the loo bad for you ?

Anonymous said...

Mr. Snob,

Great post. The Spandau Ballet mix totally rocks.

(but parents can get pretty damn smug)

mikeweb said...

BTW, noted Jaguar driver and bike lane hater John Cassidy is being interviewed on WNYC right now.

Anonymous said...

The word "luxury" has been substituted for "custom."



balls

Anonymous said...

I usually agree with BS's logic, but yeah, the child analogy pushed it. And to be totally Spandau Ballet, you'd be hard-pressed to find a baby who actually asked to be born. And quit the rocker reductionism...those dudes in the article were total douches but Kraftwerk fucking made "Tour de France."

Here's the payback...I've been laughing along with snob for years and I finally had my buttons pushed. Then again, I just rode through Park Slope, so I'm particularly pro negative population growth at the moment.

Fingerbang said...

Not all childless people are smug, some of us are just selfish. I want to spend money on bikes instead of needy little critters.

Eric Lowe said...

I think every English musician of a certain age was at "that Sex Pistols show at The Screen on Green" or another show in Manchester, Birmingham, or Liverpool. Spandau Ballet? Ar ar ar.

Anonymous said...

HUGE POST

Anonymous said...

hmmm..a rockstar who made enough money off of one song to retire at 40 and live a life of leisure doing really cool bike trips. what a douche!?...

Anonymous said...

I don't have children because I was never impressed enough with life to want to force it on someone else. THAT is not being selfish.

sam said...

Snobby,

I think that guy in sandals is Goat from Riding the Spine, in which case those sandals are actually bolted onto the pedal. I'm not sure where that fits into the smugness-spectrum...

Marcel Da Chump said...

Will Gary Kemp remain a cyclist after he crashes and does a Spandex Ballet?

Terre Haute Karl said...

"huh huh-huh huuuuh huh, I know this much is truuue"

Dammit! Spandau Ballet free for over twenty years and now it sneaks back into my head thru a cycling blog, of all places. Can someone please tell me how to get this out of my head, now??

PRONECYCLE said...

Your Krazy Straw® analogy resonates positively with me, mikeweb.

Works okay but mostly just calls attention to itself.

I'm childless but I'm willing to inseminate recumbabe.

Heck, if the 'bent industry had her at the trade shows and in their advertsising, they'd probably get a bump in sales.

Paul Bowen said...

I hated Rapha on sight, without understanding why. Now I understand.

Nogocyclist said...

Hey I want one of those recumbent rocking chairs.

If I get one, can I still consider myself an upright cyclist? I want to remain smug, even if I am more likely to use a rocking chair than to be able to take a long leisurely ride on an upright bike.

James said...

Cases in point of bicycle weight: footwear ratio:

http://www.cultureshocktherapy.com/photo-np_606.php

http://www.flickr.com/photos/eye-candy/82795986/

SingleSpeedMark said...

The LonelyImmortal should off hisself. That would actually be the nicest thing for the environment.

hillbilly said...

NYPD continues to give lessons on how to get away with murder
http://gothamist.com/2011/10/24/no_charges_against_truck_driver_who.php

skink said...

Rapha and the Sex Pistols?

huh huh-huh huuuuh huh
I know this much is douuuuche

Anonymous said...

I've calmed down now that I'm out of Park Slope and back in Queens, but I stand by my defense of Kraftwerk.

You have to realize it's about this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ps6wRHFdKdA&feature=related

It is NOT about this, which was a K-Tel cover by the group "10 Speed":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVrWDPi12zE&feature=related

Anonymous said...

I enjoy the act of making babies, just not the consequences. does that make me smug? (I just really don't don't like wearing a condom.)

yours in christ,

Mario Cipollini

Ballet Boy said...

More douching or Ima kill you!

Visegripmikey said...

interestingly, as those who believe to be so intelligent to not have kids, they are effectively breeding out their intelligence from civilization... neeto eh?

April said...

1. Actually, not having a kid IS the best thing you can do for the environment. Unless you live totally off the grid, a kid born in the United States just uses more resources than someone born anywhere else. There are close to 7 billion people on earth already.

2. This is the second time a picture with me in it has made it on to BikeSnob. That's what I get for being part of the bicycle scene in Portland?

Bike moves are lots of fun.

Anonymous said...

David Millar...describes the zigzagging 20 per cent climb of Alpe d'Huez on one page and thrills to the delights of Paris's Les Bains Douches nightclub the next...

Hee hee! Just like Le Velo!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jn0FF1KwL4I

ervgopwr said...

I'm with Fingerbang (Alberto?). I fully acknowledge my selfish non-child ways. But I still love to use my cargo bike. Like 8 boxes of donuts.

CHLD FREE
DNUT CRGO

g-roc said...

I believe the Golden Retriever is, in fact, the one breed of dog incapable of looking nonplussed.

I am a confused engine said...

Why do online "journalists" not own dictionaries? What definition of custom applies to a Madone?

I really want to know?

cus·tom (kstm)
n.
1. A practice followed by people of a particular group or region.
2. A habitual practice of a person: my custom of reading a little before sleep. See Synonyms at habit.
3. Law A common tradition or usage so long established that it has the force or validity of law.
4.
a. Habitual patronage, as of a store.
b. Habitual customers; patrons.
5. customs
a. Duties or taxes imposed on imported and, less commonly, exported goods.
b. (used with a sing. verb) The governmental agency authorized to collect these duties.
c. (used with a sing. verb) The procedure for inspecting goods and baggage entering a country.
6. Tribute, service, or rent paid by a feudal tenant to a lord.
adj.
1. Made to order.
2. Specializing in the making or selling of made-to-order goods: a custom tailor.

Rick Perry said...

"You know what this world needs? More of my DNA!"

Fucking brilliant

Anonymous said...

I had a self-righteous principal too, he was a pain in the ass.

Gwenyth Paltrow said...

Recumbenthhh are sthhhhimply the besthhhh!

Nebraska bike commuter (non-DWI edition) said...

Terra Haute Karl:

Unfortunately there is no way to stop it. One must simply surrender to it and let it run its course.

As for me, I would call it a guilty pleasure, except that I've grown beyond caring what other people think about what music I like, and therefore feel no guilt. On the other hand, it does tend to cloy pretty quickly, kinda like candy corns (another "guilty" pleasure of mine), so I try not to expose myself to it on purpose. It pleases me to hear it accidentally once in a while.

Now, if I liked that Kraftwerk shit, that would bother me.

David said...

Is road bicycling just for rich folks? Am I being an 'uppity poor' by riding a road bike and not owning any spandex? Is road bicycling the field on which the class warfare will be fought?

PK said...

Aero spoke on the recumbent?

Anonymous said...

"[Millar] describes the zigzagging 20 per cent climb of Alpe d'Huez on one page"

I didnt think Alp D'Huez got much over 10% ?

http://www.climbbybike.com/profile.asp?Climbprofile=Alpe-dHuez&MountainID=5

Anonymous said...

Probably shouldn't oversmug it with your new friend cargotouring through the jungle on his Pugsley Milktruckway. Homeboy appears to be quenching his thirst with lighter fluid.
Sandals or not, that's badass!

bikesgonewild said...

...re:"best custom road bikes"...

...i don't see MY BIKE featured so that's a buncha shit...

...i'll bet i'm not the only one who feels that way...

Martin W said...

"I don't have children because I was never impressed enough with life to want to force it on someone else."

LIFE failed to IMPRESS you? Wow. I bet it's crushed.

bikesgonewild said...

...& when it comes to canines on bikes, if leroy's dog is not consulted for the definitive word, it's a buncha shit...

...i KNOW i'm not the only one who feels that way...

Patrick Barber said...

"though I'm sure it's only a matter of time before someone in Portland starts selling 'live-in bakfiets.' "

well, not yet, but you do know about the people living in giant bike trailers here, right?

Anonymous said...

I hope your snotty-nosed child ruins your life.

Fuck you, breeder.

Buffalo Bill said...

Well, it's too late to do anything about it now. Enjoy my DNA world!

Etherhuffer said...

I take WC Fields point of view, who also liked children, albeit "baked or parboiled." Only on a bike blog would people think having less children will fix the earth. That only works if 2 billion Chinese and Indians plus a few billion Africans go along with the plan, which they won't.

bikesgonewild said...

...i'm with 'etherhuffer' on this one & there's nothing racist or any kinda '---ist' about it...

...the countries with the worst fucking pollution problems & the least amount of clean, drinkable water are (to generalize) the ones with the worst breeding problems...

...you can get all 'lovey-dovey' - oh, you're talking about children, how can you be so cruel & use words like "breeding" ???' but the truth is, it doesn't take a genius to see that senseless overpopulation is creating a huge fucking problem...

...time to "WAKE THE FUCK UP !!!"...

Nebraska bike commuter (non-DWI edition) said...

In general, I find people who refuse to have children because they don't want to harm the planet are far douchier than dog owners, unless they are childless dog owners, in which case the doucheness sometimes doubles.

Children/dogs teach parents/owners that the parent/owner's personal whims and desires don't mean jack shit to those who rely on the parent/owner for sustenance, shelter, and social interaction. This has the effect, on those who are receptive to the lesson, of driving most, but not necessarily all, doucheness from the parent/owner and enabling them to actually cut other people some slack, which is the antithesis of douche. The willfully childless and those who substitute dogs for children (unless they are unable to have children) never seem to learn to cut others any slack for anything and therefore are the worst of douches.

JDH said...

Too many kids?!?!?!You guys are fucked up! Nothing makes me happier than teaching my kids and their friends about bikes and how they work. They got bored with me for about 11 years, and now they're back and lovin' the cycle scene. They're not fat, either.

JDH said...

By the way, that Dursley-Peterson knock-off is shit. Is there such a thing as design plagiarism?

No Purpose said...

Recumbents are way easier to ride than this bicycle!

Etherhuffer said...

BTW, try telling a Mormon/Orthodox/Catholic/Moslem(multiple wives!) about having less kids. They will smile and laugh and plan for THEIR kids running the show!

Having or not having kids for political reasons sucks. I would much more trust the childless person who admits to more personal hedonism as a reason for no kids.

I like kids. I just don't want any. I dote on nieces and nephews. Or don't, as the case may be.

What next, an angry mob to dig up Norman Borlaug and stomp his corpse? Hunt down E O Wilson and cut off his pants yabbies?

Some Carpenter said...

All this rationalization of breeding or not breeding reminds me of the owners of some of the McMansions I have worked on. They sometimes like to micromanage things like which construction adhesives are used, since "some of those contain solvents that are not good for the environment." Or they put bamboo flooring in their three million dollar monument to their fine taste and accomplishment because it (apparently) somehow cancels out a few of the fifty truckloads of forest products in the rest of the place. Some of them even refer to themselves as "environmentalists." Yeah, a couple of serious environmentalists building a five thousand square foot house for the two of them, on land that was growing food until last year.

The problem with only having the dumb people reproduce randomly is, well, pretty obvious. Some of us are able to have successful and satisfying lives without having to validate our existence by having kids. Or building a home that can be seen from space.

MrRevolution said...

Who needs cargo bikes? Real men ride freight TRIKES: revolutionrickshaws.com

cramitsucko said...

Awesome post Snob, I always smile, but today, I feel good about it. The cargo bike video is changing the way I view bikes, and I've never owned a car. She converted a convert, fucking awesome.

Old Fogey (Douchebag if you disagree) said...

Those who advocate being childless must be independently wealthy.

For those of us who have more normal incomes an increasing population is required for our long term financial security. The government established Social Security that all of us, except those readers who live elsewhere than the United States, must contribute to.

Social Security whether you support it or not, is to some degree a Ponzi Scheme. It succeeds because new people pay into it to at a greater degree than the old people consume the revenues.

Right now with the financial markets the way they are, most of us could not even start to live off our 401K accounts. We must have new people paying into Social Security so we can retire. The easiest way to do this is to either have more kids collectively or to open up the boarders but only to the young and healthy who have plenty of time to pay into SS before they need to use it themselves.

Your Choice? Let people have kids or don't plan to retire anytime soon.

The Old Fogey said...

100th

bikesgonewild said...

...@old fogey...assclown thinking like yours is moronic...

...if there is a problem, address it & try to solve it, don't perpetuate it...

Anonymous said...

A tour de force, that post. Thank you, Snob.

Poppa Wheelie said...

Comments today have been very taxing and depressing to read. Socio economic politics?!?!

Burt Reynolds 531 said...

That's what happens when you listen to talk radio. You end up believing all sorts of idiotic bullshit.

Old Fogey said...

BGW, Social Security was not my idea, but since it is the cards I was dealt, I guess I have to play this hand.

Sorry if I distracted from the object of my post by using Perry's term Ponzi Scheme, but the principle of how both of them work now is similar. (Those paying in now support those drawing out now.) By the way, I do support Social Security, if that matters.

If you have a real solution to that problem, please state it. The entire population of the United States (as well as Greece and some other contries) would love to know what it is.

Working tell we are one hundred is not an option for all of us.

Anonymous said...

Martin W @ 5:12

"LIFE failed to IMPRESS you? Wow. I bet it's crushed."

Dude, life just is. It doesn't need anyone to be impressed and it doesn't need you to defend it.

ladymtbiker said...

Not getting sucked into childless/childing tirades; instead I have questions:

If Spandau Ballet is wearing Rapha, what jerseys would be appropriate for:

1) Boy George-- Primal Wear?

2) Duran Duran-- Exteondo?

3) George Michael-- Assos?

P. Stable said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
P. Stable said...

Sadly, the cargo bike special came just a few hours too early to include this gem from the London Cyclist. Yours for just 400 USA Fun Tickets (plus delivery).

Anonymous said...

I perpetually slip ruffies and muscle relaxers in my recumbent biker gangs bottles. Nothing like loose and layed if you catch my drift.

Throwaway_Bicycling said...

@anonymous 2:10 PM:

I don't have children because I was never impressed enough with life to want to force it on someone else. THAT is not being selfish.

Not selfish, but perhaps a tad smug. Also, to the person who made the point of (say) me wanting more of my DNA around in the world...as luck would have it, the world going forward will have just as much of mine as it ever had (2.0 kids * 0.5 DNA de moi), but less of yours. I do thank you for your sacrifice. :-)

leroy said...

My dog, who is way more smug than me, notes that if you don't want offspring, that can be fixed. It's only a problem if you don't get a say in the matter.

But he's just in a bad mood because the local news ran footage with me (for a split second) at the Tour de Bronx.

All he got was a shout out over the P.A. system at the Orchard Beach rest stop that dogs aren't allowed on the beach.

(Best five bucks I spent all week.)

That'll teach him to tell me the Marshal's vest made my butt look big.

DNA said...

I'm insatiable for life. Pass me on.

leroy said...

Ladymtbkr --

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Duran.

Duran who?

Duran Duran.

(Okay, maybe my dog was right. That joke only works on Wednesdays. And only under certain conditions.)

Trailer Park Cyclist said...

@Some Carpenter 7:06

The houses you can see from space will be the first to go when the Quasitrons attack.

Which reminds me: does anybody know where I can get some Space Food Sticks?

Life said...

Thanks for defending me.
Sorry if I've failed to impress.
I have my days: good and bad.
If you can't take me anymore,
don't forget I'm too short.

ray romano said...

i forgot how bad spandau ballet sucked. and now they want to blame the seckspistols for their suck? it was all about how their shopping habits changed. my shopping habits changed also and i never saw the "pistols" or the "green" i suck as much as spandau ballet and i bicycle cycle. the comedy ends when this blog becomes a mirror. can this dickhead ruin the stanglers for me also?

The Stranglers said...

Life shows no mercy.

Anonymous said...

"Here was a new tribe [of self-indulgent narcissists with low self-esteem] and I knew that I had to be part of it. Within minutes I was buying clothes from this supercool English company, and I didn't even have the bike!"

There's a sucker born every minute.

Anonymous said...

Halloween is just around the corner and I am considering turning my ass into a clown and walking backward.

ken e. said...

no one's going to ruin the stranglers for anyone.

Anonymous said...

Someone should perhaps have told Mills that it's "stradi bianchi" in pluralis or "strada bianca" in singularis.

SMUG RIDE said...

@April 3:59

Don't forget not keeping pets such as dogs and cats.
Unless they feed on each other.

The Population is Too Damn High said...

The truth is: the most environmental thing one can do is to not reproduce (have children). With the current world population at 7 billion people and climbing, this is a fact, not an opinion.

But what does God say about this subject?

God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."

We're all doomed (or at least our offspring is, should we choose to be against the environment) LOL.

streepo said...

bgw@6:23 -"it doesn't take a genius to see that senseless overpopulation is creating a huge fucking problem..."

I'd say that you have that backwards.

Anonymous said...

Look, more life or I'mafuckinkillya!

Life said...

Some of you are so careless and irresponsible with me. I provide you with anything your hearts desire and you still find a way to screw it all up.

Streepo, yes--a huge fucking problem causes over-population.
Too much of a good thing...

Anonymous said...

No, Ken.e. The Stranglers ruined themselves when they went all golden brown.

Anonymous said...

Poor "walker" lives in Nebraska.

Anonymous said...

I paid my taxes to kill a million Koreans, a million Viets, a million Iraqis, bunch of Somalis, Central Americans, Columbians, Haitians and any other poor unfortunate bastards that get in the way of my DNA!

Anonymous said...

Problem with your comment on the Childfree is that you say it as if we asked to be here and now expect everything to change. I don't know about you, but I don't remember ASKING to be born. I just was, and I'm not going to kill myself now that I'm here. I am, however, going to avoid doing something as monumentally stupid as adding to a population that is getting far too big for this planet. We can't sustain so many people, so I'm going to do my part by making sure I don't make a bad situation worse.

Anonymous said...

'non-parental smugness is based on an even more self-righteous principal'

Actually, the word you want is PRINCIPLE.

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