Monday, February 7, 2011

What Crackdown? Cruising for a Bruising

Yesterday, in the place in which where I live at, Lobster Nature temporarily spared us from the punishing weather we've been experiencing and instead blessed us with sunshine as well as temperatures above that at which water gets all hard and slippery and turns into that stuff you put in cocktails. So, after paying obeisance to the Almighty Lobster by smearing myself with ceremonial roe and genuflecting before my makeshift altar, I set out for a bikecycle ride. As it happens, the city was in the throes of celebrating two occasions I do not observe--Chinese New Year and the Superbowl--which meant that downtown people were parading with dragons, and in midtown tourists were walking around with green jerseys and cheese on their heads. At first I thought they all looked ridiculous, but then I realized I probably looked equally ridiculous to them--especially given the somewhat garish nature of my "kit." I suppose we all have our own idea of what constitutes "normal" flambulluence.

In any case, as far as I know, the NYPD's bicycle crackdown is still in effect:

For this reason, I've been approaching each bikecycular outing in the same way I approach cyclocross racing: slowly and cautiously, while every other rider blasts by me like I'm just another plastic stake for the course tape. Call me a "woosie" if you will, but with 19 children, a subprime mortgage with a 786% APR, and 16 months still to go until the lease on my Hummer expires, I simply cannot afford to receive a costly traffic ticket while riding. Instead, as the saying goes, I mind my Ps and Qs (the expression "Ps and Qs" comes from Medieval Latin and stands for "Penis and Quiznos")--at least until I'm outside of the city limits, at which point I exact my revenge by violating the traffic laws and terrorizing the populace of whichever municipality I'm in with impunity.

Evidently, though, I must be the brokest bikecyclist in New York City, since everyone else is practically begging to be fined. One of the most publicized aspects of the crackdown has been that the police are enforcing traffic signals in Central Park, even during car-free hours. As it happens, I was passing though the park on my way uptown, and as I waited at one red light a dentist on a Serotta (at least I'm assuming he was a dentist) blasted through the crowded crosswalk, causing a pair of European tourists to gasp and stop so abruptly that their hair gel almost continued on without them. Then, he banked right to exit the park, his bicycle shuddering and squealing ridiculously as he applied his brakes to his crabon rims. This caused him to lose traction on the wet pavement, and I thanked Lob in advance for the spectacle of $10,000 of crabon, titanium, and Lycra hitting the deck in truly idiotic fashion, but sadly Lob did not deem me worthy of this gift, and instead the dentist dabbed a foot and miraculously managed to stay upright. However, instead of being humbled, he clipped back in, blew another light, and headed off to terrorize the museum-goers and dowagers and fluffy handbag-dwelling dogs of 5th Avenue--or, more likely, to return his Serotta to the trunk rack of his BMW and drive home.

As for his appearance, he looked sort of like this:

As you may know, Assos's slogan is now "Sponsor Yourself," and I'm reasonably certain this is a euphemism for "foffing off." This is why the above model has ascended Mont Douche, only to splay himself out seductively upon an outcropping of rock before withdrawing some "embrocation" and engaging in a truly monumental wank-fest.

Of course, Serotta-palping dentists are not the only cyclists who like to engage in this sort of vain "self-sponsoring," and so-called "practical" cyclists can be just as bad. Consider people like James Huang and me, who like to boast about all the consumer goods we're able to carry on our oh-so-special cargo bikes. Sure, it feels good to haul a bunch of stuff on an expensive bicycle--until you see something like this and realize what a total "woosie" you really are:

Suddenly that "epic" Whole Foods run doesn't seem quite so impressive. Ordinarily, I might take him to task for running the red light, but in this case I think he's more than adequately protected since all those aluminum cans form a very effective crumple zone. Incidentally, I took this photograph last Friday, and just a few blocks later I encountered somebody on one of those "bake feets:"

Some people need thousands of dollars of special equipment to carry a few organic comestibles, while others just need a pair of wheels and a shoulder to carry a thousand cans. The irony of this juxtaposition can also be expressed using the "smugness quotient" formula:

In other words, carrying 20lbs of produce from the co-op on your $2,899 "bake feets" from Adeline Adeline would have a smugness quotient of 144.95 (extremely smug), while carrying 50lbs of recycling on your $25 old crappy 10 speed would yield a smugness quotient of .5 (negligibly smug). As a smugless baseline, consider that a fully-loaded stock Big Dummy has a smugness quotient of something like 10, which I would consider "moderately smug." Therefore, by assembling your own cargo bike, it's challenging but certainly not impossible to attain a smugness quotient of one (1), otherwise known as "smugness stasis." Also, there are certain intangibles when it comes to determining portaging smugness, such as whether or not there are "underlying gentrification subtexts;" whether or not the portager is "transient;" and other factors that cause people in Portland considerable angst.

Anyway, speaking of the crackdown and the apparent determination of the cyclists in New York City to be ensnared by it, last Friday, in addition to amusing smugness juxtaposition I also observed a stunning amount of ticketable behavior. Consider the rider below:

Even though this rider "shoaled" me, I felt a kinship with him, because we were both riding Scattantes. "Samesies!," I wanted to call to him flambulliently--until he ran the red light right in front of no fewer than two (2) police cars. Regardless of how you feel about the crackdown or about running lights on bicycles in general, you'd have to agree that doing so in front of two police cars in the midst of a highly-publicized crackdown on doing so is the height of stupidity. Nevertheless, I suppose the crackdown is not all it's cracked up to be, since the police didn't even look away from their coffees. Then, a few lights later, in what was almost certainly the second-most stunningly idiotic display of urban cycling I've seen so far this year, my "SISsie" (Sibling in Scat) ran another light and made a left turn directly in front of an oncoming car. This made me even more ashamed to own a Scattante than I already am, and I can assure you that the only reason I "hipster high-locked" it a little while later was that the abundance of snow left me no other choice:

Notice I have finally de-"curated" the Hold Fast straps, as in these miserable riding conditions they're about as effective as gluing a tube sock to your pedals. Thus endeth that experiment.

By the way, if you're wondering what the first-most stunningly idiotic display of urban cycling I've seen so far this year is, it was the guy salmoning through traffic yesterday on a Kona Ute with his young helmetless son on the rear deck. The smugness factor of this can be expressed thusly.

I deeply resent when people do idiotic things on bike--not because I care about their safety, but because if something were to happen and I were called as a witness then I'd have to say, "Yes, it was totally the cyclist's fault." This is not a position in which I'd like to find myself. Instead, I'm tempted to stop such cyclists and present them with ironic "awards," and by way of a statuette perhaps I'd use this broken crabon headtube which I was alerted to via the Tweeter:


While I'd fashion an award out of it, as the seller points out, "the possibilities are endless:"

You are considering a broken Felt ZC headtube....yea it was in a bad wreck as you can imagine lol...It is a cool way to see inside the frame and get an idea what carbon technology is like....Would make a cool display piece, cut it up, make carbon art out of it, use it to pick up chicks, the possibilities are endless.

-Headtube length is 14cm

Cool piece, the carbon is sharp in areas and the strands are microscopic so it's best to handle with care. Good luck, make me an offer

Naturally, it also comes with a disembodied hand:

As the seller says, not only can you use it to pick up chicks, but it's also "a cool way to see inside the frame and get an idea what carbon technology is like"--though I think I've learned all I need to know about that from the pictures.

106 comments:

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

enzinger said...

podium

mike said...

f yeah mutha effa

Anonymous said...

close

Kenny Banya said...

Gold P.P., GOLD!

mike said...

check out gaz545's youtube page to see some more helmet cam footage of london cycling at www.youtube.com/user/gaz545

luciferyellow said...

Top ten (?) and read the whole thing. Superbowl blues?

Anonymous said...

wow!

Anonymous said...

First once the drug checks come back

Anonymous said...

How am I top ten? I wasn't even trying.

Anonymous said...

Panties! Top ten?

Anonymous said...

These pretzels are makin' me THIRSTY!

Anonymous said...

These PRETZELS are makin' me thirsty!

Anonymous said...

These PRETZELS are MAKING ME thirsty!

db said...

What, the chicken suit's at the cleaners?

gator joe said...

A look inside a broken head tube to see how carbon technology works?????
Reminds me of what the old man told me: "You don't need to stick your head inside a cement mixer to know how one works".

Astroluc said...

CRAK DOWN

Terre Haute Karl said...

Am I the only one thinking that the "m" in the smugness quotient picture might be covering some sort of wardrobe malfunction?

SLAM said...

good

Anonymous said...

Okay, Snob, come clean. That girl with the two kids on the cargo bike--you swiped that photo from a tranny website, right? Cuz if that's just part of her bike protruding from the front of that dress, I'm suddenly stricken with a severe case of saddle envy, one serious enough to necessitate bringing out the embrocation. . . .

Dave said...

Speaking of organic cargo and crumple zones, aren't the two little ones on that Bake feet kind of a front bumper?

crosspalms said...

Crumpet zones? What are crumpet zones?

Anonymous said...

Probably not a good idea to pick up chicks with something sporting sharp edges and microscopic parts.

Anonymous said...

TH Karl-
not quite. http://www.dutchcitybike.com/tag/bakfiets/

Anonymous said...

Your altar looks good enough to eat.

Marcel Da Chump said...

What chick would go for a shard of carbon fiber? I dunno,
maybe I'm a prude.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

no comment.

Anonymous said...

NSFW time-waste fun: Google "Tranny on a bike." Snob's version is WAY better looking than the TMZ video version. Snob, with sights like that, how could you ever consider leaving NYC? And congratulations on what seems to me an all-time high of self-referential references. Self-referentiality is next to cleanliness in the ladder towards deity.

Anonymous said...

I don't think that counts as a "hipster high-lock", as both wheels are on what passes for the ground.

Besides, you need curly bars to do that properly.

Hey nonny mouse

hillbilly said...

way to be, pp

wishiwasmerckx said...

I was all set to bid on the broken headtube until I got to the part where it was listed at 14 cm. I require a 15 cm broken headtube, and if it doesn't (bake)fit, why buy it?

samh said...

Wow, I have a smugness quotient of only 0.08. I'd better purchase some parts for my cargo bike to get that up... or just move to Portland.

Grammar Nazi said...

"...in the place in which where I live at" would read better "...in the place in which where I live."

peter said...

So this weekend I was watching Ken Burns' "Lewis & Clark" and it said that they had an 18 mile portage around the great falls of the Missouri River that took them 1 month - that is truly an "Epic" portage

OBA said...

I am always amazed (but no longer surprised) at people who go through all the effort and trouble to produce and raise offspring, but then tote them around helmetless in any number of child-eliminating devices (CEDs) attached to their bikes. I once was almost hit by a bike-lane-salmoning, helmetless young woman riding a BMX with an infant in some downmarket front-slung baby-Bjorn thing. A Darwin Award nominee, for sure.

Brent P. Favre said...

Touch Down!

Jaques Strappe said...

Dutch Hipsters Rule!

SPD Stilettos ...


http://www.pezcyclingnews.com/cgi/gallerypicget.asp?pic=http://www.pezcyclingnews.com/photos/babes/babes10/fyxo-merckx.jpg

Anonymous said...

Like carcakes? Truckake explosion! It sounds dirty, but it's not.

http://beta.weather.com/outlook/videos/iwitness-snow-explodes-off-semi-19594

bloody glove said...

If the bak doesn't fit,
you must acquit

ear_wax said...

The photo of the MILF with kiddies in the Bakfiets was taken in the Netherlands...you need to adjust your smug quotient as they only cost €1495 here.

Derrick said...

Got my ceremonial ticket in the park today. I put some new brakes on the commuter and went out for quick pedal to test them. I hadn't even wrapped the bars. 10mph through a completely empty intersection. The officer apologized over and over about how it is not really fair and is only doing his job because they got some memo about it from the mayor. It took about 10 minutes to get it all squared away while nearly every rider and pedestrian rolled through the same light. The only thing the other scofflaws and I did not have in common is that I'm probably the one guy out there that really truly can't afford the ticket.

Thanks Mr. Bloomberg.

I was also amused shortly after that while stopped at a totally deserted light where 2 horse riding officers passed me at the red light to trot through. Like pedestrians, horses are immune to the law at this point.

King of Mont Douche said...

Hey baby, is that your headset or are you just glad to see me.

$10000 Serotta / 200 lb Dentist = 50 smugs

MONT DUSH

Anonymous said...

GREEN BAY PACKERS

likeaskelf said...

The great crackdown has raised its chequered helmet here in Liverpool. A quick nip over a bit of pavement and a scoot around a red light cost a £30 fine. It would have been much more but portaging a trailer at the time increased the smug quota but limited the criminalty.

etherhuffer said...

The Dutch don't use helmets, they just stay stoned enough that a crash won't hurt. I crashed into a woman in the red light district of Amsterdamm and noted the rigidity of my head tube. God it was rigid.

Seriously, a friend toured there and wore a helmet. He got stares everywhere, as a helmet in Holland apparently translates to "Where's the bicycle race?" Thank god for the Dutch. Its nice to see a country where all the corners have not been rounded off and cliffs don't have fences. If they had cliffs that is.

RANTWICK said...

I followed that Hold Fast link and the image on their "Enter" page made me crazy. I have hangups about closing panniers neatly. Its my problem, I know, but look at that Ortlieb...

I have a problem.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Etherhuffer, considering that virtually the entire country is below sea level, I am skeptical that they have cliffs. Nobody writes inspired homages to the white cliffs of Holland.

rigtenzin said...

Did you see the $175 tweed helmet? http://www.adelineadeline.com/helmets/yakkay-paris-herringbone-complete.html

eurodude said...

Wearing a helmet here actually has a signaling function: it says "i can´t ride, stay away from me".

Quicksquirt McHurt said...

I'd hit it.

Anonymous said...

All you haters suck my crack (down?)

etherhuffer said...

Yeah, Riding in Holland is a pretty planar experience. But its worth it to watch the ladies ride their bakey feeters in a dress with an umbrella up. Pretty classy. And I love it when a tourist walks in the bike lane. Some of those old folks can swear up a blue streak when needed. Either that or they are describing integral calculus animatedly. Couldn't tell.

My rigid head tube is turning back to a kippered herring again. Dang.

Portlandpeopleeater said...

Yes living in Portland ups your smugness factor by 10. Especially in the upper-middle class area I commute to drop my eldest off to school. Many baked-feet roll into the school, however, people in Portland are very concerned (overly at times) about safety and the kids and the dogs all have helmets (no, dog does not mean mother, I mean woof, woof, canine). However a bill being introduced to the Oregon House of Rep. would eliminate anyone under the age 6 from being portaged on a bicycle or trailer. So, in essence our smugness factor would drop to at least a 5 I would guess.

Anonymous said...

Bikesnob whines about dentists on serottas and hipsters on bakfiets.

Meanwhile, Steve Tilford buys meals for the hungry.

grog said...

All those superbowl ads, i saw only one bicycle and one P-far, both auto ads. grrr
waytogo PP

Portlandpeopleeater said...

Crap, some major grammatical errors in that last post. Look upon me with mercy oh great and might Lob.

etherhuffer said...

I heard Oregon was going to outlaw people from filling their tires at gas stations, seeing as they don't trust you to pump your own gas. What's up with that? I think you guys get smugness brownie points for that one.

My turgid kipper smells of smoke.

BIGGUS DICKUS said...

CAVEAT EAT SHEAT

Anonymous said...

A few suggested improvements to the Smugness Quotient:

Price of Bicycle + Value of Kit & Clothing

Divided by:

Weight of Cargo + Distance from Portland

Portlandpeopleeater said...

I think Oregon wants to punish B.O. (big oil) companies for their destruction and over nefarious schemes to fill their coffers. So Oregon is forcing said BO companies to hire one more person standing around that is able to unscrew caps, push a button, and press on a schraeder valve with a hose. More smugness brownie points for Portland/Oregon.

WHAT! said...

grog,

In the background of the Doritos commercial where the dead grandpa was brought back to life from his ash-filled urn, I spotted what I believe is a track bike, complete with aero spoke wheels.

Etherhuffer said...

Can we punish Portland for smugness like Oregon punishes big oil? I suggest we make every tattoo shop have a cranky old person on premises with lots of saggy tattoos. By the way, do folks bathe there before they go to the tattoo shop?

Smug Smegma-Sheen

Jonah Gibson said...

Maybe you gotta have a smugness quotient in the stratosphere to get the cops' attention. Case in point: yesterday on the Florida Turnpike I passed a guy in a Porsche Carrera. He was doing exactly the speed limit, which was 70. I pulled into a service plaza to get a coffee and walk my dogs. About 20 minutes later, back out on the highway, I passed the Carrera again. This time he was stopped on the side of the road by FHP, and the trooper was peering into the right hand rear quarter window - I guess to see if the guy was packing a smug Glock. It would seem that my schlocky old Mercury Sable station wagon full of dogs is capable of doing 79 mph without attracting any notice, whereas a Porsche can only get away with 71. Same must be true of bicycles.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Grammar Nazi 1:06 PM.

Judge Smug said...

Jonah,

You must have missed the "DNTIST" license plate and the "my other car is a Serotta" license plate frame.

Considering the distance between Florida and Portland, it shouldn't take much smugness to send out an APB.

crosspalms said...

anon 2:55,
Might have to add another modification:

Price of Bicycle + Value of Kit & Clothing + number of meals cooked for homeless by Steve Tilford

Divided by:

Weight of Cargo + Distance from Portland

gsport george said...

Tsk tsk... Smugness quotient needs units, in this case $ per lb, obviously in euro-zone europe this would be translated to € per kg.
However the whole concept is flawed, since my cargobike cost me less than £50 ( http://www.instructables.com/id/Long-John-Cargo-Bike/ ) and I regularly portageaterise 80lbs of children which would give me a smugness quotient of just 0.625 £/lb yet I am clearly much smugger than this... similarly, cars cost a lot more yet there is no smugness left in portaging children in this way. Most Range-Rovers have tinted windows to allow their deeply deeply guilty owners to scuttle (no offence intended to the Lobfearing) to their childrens pre-school without being identified, despite a theoretical smugness quotient way up in the high hundreds of $/lb...

grog said...

What! Really? Oh snap!
Some tarck research required.

Anonymous said...

gsport george: Damn engineers and their dimensional analysis. I at least expect to see the formula for $/lb to Euro/kg presented...

So if I get this right, I have to spend $1 per pound of hauling to keep my smugness in check. So $50 bike that hauls 50lbs? A $100 bike that hauls 100lbs? I don't know about the bike market in NYC, but here that's a bit of a stretch to have any kind of reliable performance over time. I think $500/100lbs or $5 per pound a more reasonable smugness ratio...

crosspalms said...

Instead of expressing the ratio as $/lb, why don't we call the units SCBPs - self-congratulatory back-pats. So the $500/100 lbs would be 5 SCBPs. But I think the equation also needs to work in carbon footprint (or crabon if that's what you ride) and maybe whether the footprint was made by a Quoc Pham or a sneaker.

Justice Potter said...

Smugness is like porn, hard to define, but you know it when you see it.

SMUG PORN

crosspalms said...

And then we need a market for smugness offsets, like the one for carbon offsets.

Anonymous said...

Epic truck-cake, variation of the carcake: http://www.weather.com/outlook/videos/iwitness-snow-explodes-off-semi-19594

Fred said...

I propose that the unit of smugness is the "prius". Defined as:
1p=Everett Bogue

Marcel Da Chump said...

Cap and trade smugness.

Portlandpeopleeater said...

Actually I don't think that Oregon is trying to punish BO. But trying to find a way to generate jobs. I believe that's why they stopped people from pumping their own gas and created the pump monkey's (no offense to any of Vitto's family). Anyway it would take a lot to offset smugness in Portland. Escalade and Land Rover owners could probably purchase carbon footprint offsets relatively easily and at a reasonable rate. In Portland however, there would be a considerable cost to supplement smug imprint offsets The purchase price of a bicycle plus smugness imprint offsets would be too expensive to purchase unless you were a dentist. In which case you probably already have an Escalade or Land Rover. In owning either one of these vehicles or any relatively euivalent vehicle, there would be a complete loss of any type of smugness factor as said dentist or his wife is probably driving them too and from work. No carpooling here.at This would eliminate Portland from the discussion as the common man could no longer afford to purchase a bicycle justifying his or her smug. Due to the decrease in smugness imprint offset fees, there would be a loss and just like the stock market bottoming out, Portland would have to rebuild it's quotient and start below other cities with low quotients, such as Carson City NV or maybe Weed CA. Whatever your formula for equating smugness we should standardize it so that we are all on the same page and a fair quotient is used for all.

londonneur said...

Loving Snob here in UK.

UK motoring journo says cyclists "deserve" road rage attacks... He's only joking so that's ok then.

http://londonneur.wordpress.com/2011/02/07/clarkson-talks-tosh/

Marcel Da Chump said...

Yesterday I saw the film "Cold Weather", an indie set in Portland and nicely photographed, showing some truly natural beauty. The "good guys" drove fuel efficient cars and the "bad guy" a 70's muscle car.

gsport george said...

Dont worry about Clarkson, just think of him as a modern village idiot or court jester, there to be ridiculed for his backward opinions and buffonish ways, laugh at him, not with him... Mexicans last week, cyclists this, next week will doubtless be the turn of the disabled...

Anonymous said...

Not only does the headset come with a disembodied hand, but there is an envelope there on the table full of coupons!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Anon 4:21 -- even though you are 1 minute late, I thank you for that clarification. I used to think that $2,899.00 for a Bakfiet was a lot of money until you informed me that it was capable of hauling 2,899 lbs. of cargo.

Duly impressed, I now see it as a relative bargain.

Anonymous said...

So good..."hipster tires" for sale.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/tal/1984502593.html

You put me in stitches week after week. Thanks, Meredith

Marcel Da Chump said...

anon 6:13
Damn, that one comma towards the end just ruined it for me; felt like I was reading Gertrude Stein.

Anonymous said...

I was worried you were going to break your streak of 173 consecutive blogs mentioning Portland, but I see you managed to work it in there.

Anonymous said...

What about the P-far crit race in the superbowl commercials? Holy smokes...after seeing that I could barely watch the game and I am a fervent GREEN BAY PACKERS fan. GO PACK GO (GOPA CKGO)

Anonymous said...

Hey man, for an awesome disembodied hand shot check out the "parting shot" in the current issue of Outside magazine.

Anonymous said...

How could I calculate the smugness factor of an empty hipster cape flapping in the breeze as I enjoyed a ride through Prospect park on a brand new 2010 closeout?

It seems to me the money saved behaves like a positive number, adding rather than detracting from the intolerable smugness of arriving at a superbowl party where my pit stains let everyone know I have actually broken a sweat while they sat through the post season.

A Boy named lob said...

I palped a man in Chino,

Just to watch him palpatate.

disgruntled aussie dentist said...

A bit hard on the dentists for my taste, mate.

Anonymous said...

Ya gonna use that Valpak?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Anon 8:22, the lycra-clad P-farrers were pretty cool, but I loved the fakenger who rolled through the shot on a p-far later in the commercial.

Anonymous said...

I got a feeling I just tuned into the fag channel.

Is this just a bunch of circle jerking nerds?

Maybe you should feature some pole dancer girls who ride their bikes around.

That is what America wants to see!

And then these circle jerkers can sing songs and make smores.

Smores by the way are for little kids and the old guys that like to look at them and help them roast a marshmallow.

semper smugulus said...

Too many factors in determining smugness quotient... size of cargo area vs. weight of cargo portaged, number of organic groceries portaged, number apple products being portaged?!

I would also suggest adding a variable for number of flaxen-haired, nordic children being portaged, but determining just what constitutes this metric might take one into territory even the most ironic of hipsters fear to tread.

Kim said...

What is the "smugness quotient" of an Audi?

Spence said...

Cracked rear view

leroy said...

NY 1's Inside City Hall program last night ended with two talking head politico pundits bemoaning bike lanes as emblematic of the Mayor neglecting the outer boros.

One rant: Manhattan bike lanes were plowed, but we're still digging cars out of snow banks in Queens.

I navigated between Brooklyn and Manhattan yesterday and can say the bike lanes on First and Second Avenue have a nice amount of slush and snow. And Allen Street near the Manhattan Bridge is blocked by a two foot high bank of ice.

Another rant: we need to limit bikes to bike routes like we limit trucks to truck routes.

Where do these morons come up with this crap?

Between the weather, the ticket blitz and the bike lane backlash, riding isn't as fun as it used to be. My one consolation is that these dopes have limited attention spans.

Anyone ticketed in Prospect Park? And where do you put a bell on a road bike? I've hung mine on the saddle bag.

Anonymous said...

I don't think the smugness factor has to have a unit; it's only a multiplier, in that it affects the overall number but isn't really a number itself.

hey nonny mouse

Brent said...

The smugness quotient needs a distance multiplier. If you carry fifty pounds of goods over fifty miles, surely your smugness quotient would fall, no matter how much you paid for the bike.

Anonymous said...

Panties! (Last word?)

Anonymous said...

100

Timothy said...

hair gel continued...
outright prolonged laughter...

Triangle Bicycle Commuter said...

A Yuba Mundo doesn't have enough of a smugness quotient, just 2.6. At $1147 and 440 lbs of cargo is just hauls too much without costing enough.

Yashila said...

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NYC Dentists

Runescape Gold said...

'm I the only one convinced that the actual "m" within the smugness quotient image might be masking some kind of clothing failure?


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Fixie Bikes said...

snob math, I like it.